It was the salt on the wind and the wistful look in her eye.
The evening breeze pushed her hair back and made her face flush, as she walked her way home in the light of the setting sun.
She saw her crush today again. A ridiculous choice, of course, but what about her life wasn't sad already?
He had been leaning against the doorframe of her classroom door, waiting for his best friend, Iwaizumi-san to join him for volleyball practice.
She watched shyly through her hair as he flashed his signature smile and peace sign at squealing girls and a smile of her own grew across her face. It quickly dissipated, however, when one of the girls came up to him and wrapped her long, milky arms around him and he embraced her gently.
His eyes, those chocolate eyes that held such passion and such pain were full of adoration as he held that girl in his arms.
It was his girlfriend, Miko of course.
The one he finally settled down for at the end of his volleyball career; the manager of his team. The three of them, Iwaizumi, Oikawa and Miko were childhood friends and she lived right next door to Oikawa, go figure.
She bit her lip and dragged her eyes away from the happy couple. A shuddering sigh passed quietly through her and as soon as the bell rang, she burst through the door.
Tears threatened to fall but she wouldn't let them. She was stronger than that, or at least she convinced herself that she was. She walked quickly down the hall and the doors and out of Seijoh, finally slowing down as she hit the front courtyard.
She didn't understand why she liked him so much. It was hopeless, anyways. She was too quiet and too shy and he was loud and social and and was nothing but a spark and he was a blazing wildfire.
She had gone to every game, witnessed every loss and every victory. She learned about his habits and likes and dislikes from sitting next to Iwaizumi for the last few years or so, and fell in love with that too.
She took up volleyball when she was young as well, but was never very good at it, and admired Oikawa for his skill and constant training.
But now, as this was her last year and she had never said a word to him and he had a beautiful girlfriend and she lacked the courage, she sobbed instead for a life she could never have.
She slowed down as the tears came and furiously wiped them away, trying to convince herself for the millionth time that she was stronger than this, that he did not deserve her tears and no boy should ever make her feel this way.
She would find a boy one day who would love her for who she was and how she looked and what music she liked to listen to and-
The setting sun flashed behind the trees and her friend rode by on a bike. Her eyes widened when she saw her puffy red face and quickly skidded to a stop.
"(F/n)!" She hopped off her bike and rushed over quickly, wrapping her arms around her in concern.
"S-Sakura..." (F/n) sighed and gently held her to her as well.
"What happened this time?"
"Oh, nothing..." She mumbled quietly. "Just saw them again at my classroom, you know..."
Sakura sighed and pulled back to look at her. Her face softened at her tears and she kissed her forehead sweetly.
"Hun, I was on my way to Yama's house and we were going to go meet up with Tsukishima at the cafe down his street today. You want me to come over to your house instead? We can watch all the anime you want and eat tubs of ice cream and iced tea and chips and-"
"No, no that's alright Kura." She cut her off, defeated. Sakura looked confused.
"No, really, please." She took a halting breath, before finding the courage to continue. She too, wanted desperately to hangout with her best friend but..."I want you to spend time with your boyfriend because I know you've been so busy lately and he can't see you because he's at Karasuno and you're here. I can spend time with you anytime, but he can't. So go...I don't want you to mess up your love life just for the sake of mine."
Sakura looked like she was on the verge of tears but (f/n) pushed her away and insisted that she go; gently of course. Sakura looked uncertain, but nevertheless didn't want to push (F/n) any further and gave her another quick hug before going back on her bike and speeding away to her freckled boyfriend's house.
(F/n) let out a sigh of relief and continued on her way home, putting in her headphones and drowning out the world around her.
When she got home, the sun had settled below the horizon and the clouds overtook the dusk sky, rain pouring up and down her street. She stepped into her house hurriedly to escape the rain, throwing off her shoes, coat and bag and running to her upstairs washroom to take a long, hot shower.
Luckily enough for her, nobody was home. Her mom was still at work and she didn't have to worry about her brother coming because he was staying up at their aunt's house in Tokyo for the rest of his school year. This way, she can sob as loud as she wanted, and nobody had to hear.
She stripped off her clothing and got into the tub. The water was scorching hot and burnt her skin wonderfully, as if fire itself flowed through her veins. She let the salty tears mix in, her mouth opening to cry out for her pain and for her worries, for her utter weakness. She was a worthless, ugly girl who yearned for something so hopelessly unobtainable it was laughable.
"Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic..." She yelled hoarsely through cracked lips, her lungs struggling to breathe through her hiccuping cries. The water no longer felt hot enough anymore. She didn't know how long she cried, but it felt like days.
And then she just stopped. Her mind and her heart felt hollow as her lip stopped quivering. Nothing mattered anymore. She was broken and she couldn't get any worse. She gave up.
She stood there for awhile with an empty pit in her stomach, and her head felt light, like someone pumped it full of air.
"I will be okay."
What a beautiful lie.
She turned off the shower and stepped out in a daze, wrapping a white towel around her naked body and got ready to brush her hair when she heard the doorbell ring.
Her eyes widened. "Coming!" She called, glad her voice didn't crack. She threw open the door and rushed down the stairs, wondering who could possibly be here this time of night, and opened the front door with haste.
"Hey (f/n)!" She was taken aback to find a soaked Sakura grinning cheekily at her with a peace sign held up, and behind her were equally soaked boys, one of which (f/n) recognized as Sakura's freckled boyfriend who was attempting to look as cheerful as Sakura but looked like he was going to catch a cold, and another boy who was really tall with glasses, blond hair and a disgusted look on his face. But he was kinda cute. Low-key. Maybe high-key.
She recoiled a little at first, then blinked in confusion. "Sakura? What are you doing here? And why are you guys so wet?"
The next few actions confused her even more. Sakura looked like she was going to answer, but then suddenly clamped her mouth shut and her eyes went as wide as saucers. Her freckled boyfriend squeaked and turned as red as tomatoes, scrambling behind Sakura and then the tall blond just cocked his head to the side and said,
"Huh?" (F/n) looked down to see that her towel had slipped onto the floor and she was buck-fucking-naked.
Her scream resounded throughout the house and she swore her neighbors thought she was getting murdered.
"Here you guys go," (f/n) said as she handed out freshly brewed cups of tea as they sat around the fireplace in her living room. There were only a few lights on, as the fire allowed enough light for the four of them.
The three visitors were each wrapped with at least three blankets, and Sakura took control in comforting her freckled boyfriend and the tall boy, now known as Yamaguchi's best friend, Tsukishima Kei, sat furthest from the huddled group in his own extra large blankets.
Their clothes (thank god her brother's old clothes fit the boys and Sakura was the same size) rumbled around in the dryer in the background as she sat down in the only open spot on the ground beside Tsukishima and he grunted in response, shifting over to keep his 'personal bubble'. His glasses had been taken off because they were fogged up and he reached around to wipe off the condensation with a clean cloth she brought from the kitchen.
"So, why are you guys here and why didn't you bring umbrellas, if you don't mind me asking?" (F/n) inquired, having changed into comfy pajamas. Sakura looked a little sheepish and squirmed under Tsukishima's cold glare, trying to huddle behind Yamaguchi who just shuddered in protest.
"Sakura dragged us all the way out here because we were locked out of Yamaguchi's house and Sakura's parents don't approve of boys at her house." He started off in a monotone tone of contempt, but his voice became more snide when he mentioned Sakura's strict parenting. He looked on with a shit-eating smirk, and yet still he managed to make it look hot as fuck.
Geez, what a piece of work. That guy pisses me off.
"But Tsukki!" Sakura spoke up. Tsukishima visibly cringed. "It's not my fault the cafe was closed today too! They're looking for new workers or else they'll-"
"Don't call me that." He hissed.
"Mah, Tsukki! Don't talk to my girlfriend like that!" Yamaguchi fought back, cuddling Sakura close. Tsukishima just snorted and rolled his golden eyes. They were really pretty, she'd admit that at least.
(F/n) frowned. "Then why didn't you guys just go to Tsukishima's house?" There was a simultaneous scoff from Tsukishima, snickering from Yamaguchi, and a full out round of belly-aching laughter from Sakura.
(F/n) decided not to ask.
The stormy night went on as they scrolled around Netflix, and countless hours of arguing ensued when Tsukishima spotted Walking with Dinosaurs ((f/n) could believe how big of a nerd he was), Sakura found Ferris Bueller's Day Off and poor Yamaguchi just wanted to watch Friends. (F/n) was just focused on trying to keep her house from falling apart.
After most of the movies (and documentary) had been watched, including half a season of Friends, the house was finally quiet. Her mom had texted her, saying that she had taken the night shift and overtime and wouldn't be back till late the next morning. Yamaguchi and Sakura were curled up together in a little ball of blankets, lightly snoring as (f/n) and Tsukishima were finishing off the last scene of Ex Machina.
The distance between them had inched closer and closer with each movie, and (f/n) was starting to get a little sleepy. It was the early morning, after all. She was surprised she stayed up so long, and that her visitors' parents didn't really mind them sleeping over, or at least she thought so. So much time had passed that she had even forgotten about...
She looked up at Tsukishima's weary, glasses free face, with hair all fluffed and messed up and his beautiful eyes trained on the screen. The light from the screen flashed and changed with every scene going on, and she watched in curiosity as it danced across his handsome face and she fought to stay awake just a little bit longer to...to...
Her head lolled onto the lower part of his shoulder and he almost flinched, but was careful not to disturb her when he saw that she was sleeping. He wasn't that much of an asshole. The movie had just ended, and he could hear the rain still pattering outside, a solemn peace overtaking his senses as he decided that maybe he didn't need to shift over.
Her weight had become a comfort and when Tsukishima got comfortable, it would be...very hard to make him move.