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I Wish That I Had Known in that First Minute We Met

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Lena sat there in the hot water and steam. Her phone sat outside the shower curtain on the toilet, a song that put a deep feeling in her chest and mind playing on repeat. Hard droplets of water hit her back as she leaned her shoulder and arm on the cold wall, closing her eyes.
Maybe she should actually wash herself.

She sighed slightly, slowly opening her eyes again and standing up. She looked at the small shelf in the corner of the shower, her razor missing. She probably left it on the sink. Opening the curtain and interrupting the sound of music coming from her phone, she reached over and stretched as much as she could to reach the sink from where she stood in the shower. She scooted the shaving razor closer with her middle finger, grabbing it and almost falling. It was cold and steamy outside of the shower, contrast to her hot skin that now had goosebumps on it.

She listened to the lyrics of the song for a second, feeling the deep hole again. She looked out the window at the building opposite the street from hers. She caught a glance of something though, and now not noticing her body dripping water onto the floor and her clothing, she realized when she saw the pale blue skin and something black and shiny being adjusted just outside the window. She took another sigh, knowing that Widowmaker could never bring herself to shoot her, no matter how much she tried. Because Lena’s old friend, the woman she’d loved for a long time, was still in there. She could tell.

She slinked back into the shower and closed the curtain, her silhouette only showing outside of it. She looked at the razor and put it down. She didn’t really feel like shaving now. She turned to get shampoo instead, when a loud noise could be heard from a distance away, echoing in the air and drowning out the sound of water and music. Lena hit the wall with her upper back with a force she couldn’t explain until she felt a hot, shooting pain in her right shoulder. She looked down and saw blood, panicking at the sight. She…. Shot her. But she could never do it before, why now? Thoughts ran through her mind and she shook as blood mixed with water below her, going down the drain.

She heard it again. This time she let out a gasp, whimpering as she fell in the shower. It was her thigh this time, probably so she couldn’t zap herself away without eventually getting stuck somewhere, naked no less. She bit her lip and tried not to cry in pain. She caught hear of the song again, now wanting to smash her phone on the wall. Not now, she didn’t want to listen to this now. She heard Widowmaker’s grapple hook onto her window as the agile woman glided over, climbing through. The curtain to the shower remained closed as Lena heard her footsteps now, both of their silhouettes showing through.

“Amelie… You’re still in there, right love?” she inched to the side slightly, leaning herself on the tub and holding her shoulder, cradling her left leg on top of the other, “Ah, I know you are… They just pushed you farther away… They were… They were always good at that.” she let out a small chuckle, sadder than it usually sounded.

Widowmaker said nothing, and barely moved from where she stood. Lena shifted once again, peering through the crack between the wall and curtain up at the woman. She was already staring right into her eyes, with those bright golden eyes that contrasted to her cold blue skin.

“Right… I’ll still love you. I do love you. Amelie, I…” she sighed, moving her gaze to her phone, “funny, innit? This song… reminds me of you. Gives me that warm feeling… Nostalgia, really… But it’s sad too…”

Her head started to bob as her vision ran blurry. She shifted, making a small sound as she did.

“I love you Amelie…” she started to close her eyes.

Something snapped. Something broke inside of Widowmaker as she gazed at the smaller, bleeding woman. She didn’t know what it was, but everything came rushing in all at once. What was happening? What did she do? She shot the target. No… She shot Lena. Her breath hitched and she threw the curtain open, getting herself wet with the hot water. She caught Lena’s head before it hit the side of the tub.

“Non… No no…. Lena, mon cherie…” she pulled the woman closer into her arms, pushing damp hair out of her face.

She barely opened her eyes, blurry vision gazing up at Amelie, “ah, you’re back…” she gave a smile, raising her hand up to her cheek. Water and blood smeared onto it, but of course she didn’t care. Then it fell. Her eyes stayed half open as her weight shifted, growing heavier in her arms. She felt a lump in her throat as her eyes grew damp for the first time in a long, long time. She held Lena tighter in her arms, closing her eyes.

“...Bonne nuit…”

The song did not stop playing for the hours she sat with her, water eventually running cold, as did Lena.

“I wish that I had known in that first minute we met, the unpayable debt that I owed you.
'Cause you'd been abused by that bone that refused you, and you hired me to make up for that.

Walking in that room when you had tubes in your arms, those singing morphine alarms out of tune.
They kept you sleeping and even, and I didn't believe them when they called you a hurricane thunderclap.

When I was checking vitals I suggested a smile. You didn't talk for awhile, you were freezing.
You said you hated my tone, it made you feel so alone, and so you told me I ought to be leaving.

But something kept me standing by that hospital bed, I should have quit but instead I took care of you.
You made me sleep all uneven, and I didn't believe them when they told me that there was no saving you.”