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Squirrels in Space

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“You do realise that my life was really simple before I met you,” Nancy stated, staring at her friend in irritation.

“But why would you want simple?” Doreen smiled, testing the bonds securing her to the wall. Doreen had intercepted a call to the Avengers about an extra-terrestrial ship crashed in Antarctica. And because she was a fool, Nancy had decided to go with her to help investigate the crash site. As soon as Doreen had torn off the slightly battered door, the duo had been held at gunpoint and escorted rather forcefully into the ship before teleporting who knows where in space. It was be a correct assumption to say that Nancy was quite annoyed.

“To be honest I would rather not die in space. I’ve just started college and I have to care for Mew,” Nancy carried on moaning as they aimlessly drifted.

“I’m sure we’ll be fine. Tippy-Toe wasn’t captured and the big bad of the week has got to come in here and monologue soon,” Doreen shrugged and Nancy once again rolled her eyes.

“Are you really a superhero? This isn’t a TV show,” Nancy argued but there was no way she was going to talk sense to her roommate. “I have work to be doing. We’re students and I am not failing college because you are part squirrel and have a hero complex.”

“Now that’s a question, is it a hero complex if you actually are a hero,” Doreen speculated but before Nancy could shut her down, the door whooshed open to reveal a looming blue skinned figure in swooping black robes. Nancy saw Doreen about to open her mouth and kicked her before Squirrel Girl could get them all in more trouble.

“Tell me who you are and what purpose you had on our ship,” the alien strode over, towering above them. Nancy was stunned to silence but unfortunately Doreen wasn’t in the same position.

“Squirrel Girl, hi, and this is my friend Nancy. We just heard about the crash and went to investigate, purely harmless,” Doreen smiled but the alien was not buying the story even though it was the truth.

“Why would they send two girls not the mighty Avengers? Does Earth think we are as weak as those that have tried before?” he continued to interrogate the duo.

“Well no, we kind of hijacked the call and got there faster than the Avengers. They’ve been going through a few issues recently,” Doreen mused and Nancy kicked her again. Now their captor knew they had no back up coming and would surely kill them. She didn’t want to die this way; she wanted to live a long life without superheroes and spaceships threatening to cut it short. As Doreen turned to Nancy to argue the abuse of her shins; Nancy saw the strangest sight yet. Tippy Toe, or any other squirrel to be honest she could never tell them apart, floated past the window in a miniature space suit. A squirrel in space. How did he even get that space suit and then find out where they were? Then more squirrel’s floated past, a whole army of squirrels in space. Nancy couldn’t stop her jaw from dropping as he watched the phenomenal sight. No one else was looking at them, Doreen and their captor were both focused on her.

“What’s wrong? Why do you keep kicking me?” Doreen asked with a huff and all Nancy could do was nod to the window why the squirrels were now jet propelling themselves past. Doreen slowly turned round and her jaw dropped too. She just kept looking between Nancy and the window.

“What are you two doing, stop scheming!” the alien exclaimed, gripping the front of Doreen’s shirt to pull her up. With her hands still cuffed behind her, this pulled her into a very uncomfortable position but it did finally allow her to fight back. Doreen used the momentum to thump her tail into the muscular alien’s side. It sent him thudding to the floor and Doreen fell back to the sitting position. This drew the attention of the rest of the crew and armed scary tall blue aliens flooded the room with their weapons aimed at the two women. Doreen swore under her breath but Nancy knew what her plan was; stall until the squirrel’s arrived. That even sounded crazy in this situation.

“You are going to regret that little girl!” the alien snarled, as he slowly got to his feet try to support his probably bruised ribs.

“Oh will I? How about you let me out of these chains so I can beat you properly,” Doreen retorted, a false bravado puffing her chest out.

“Or we could just kill you where you are,” he snarled as the weapons buzzed to life.

“Doreen, I don’t think this is working,” Nancy hissed and received an irritated look in response.

“You are all cowards, don’t you think you can beat me in a fair fight?” Doreen continued, glancing at the door every other second to try and urge on the reinforcements. Just as the alien was opening his mouth again, the door was blown open and Iron Man stood there majestically in his gold and red armour surrounded by squirrels in space suits with the bowl like helmets off. The squirrels raced into the room, covering the alien guards and knocking away their weapons in an impressive display of force. Before Nancy could come up with words to describe the experience, the aliens were all tied up and Iron Man had given them a strict warning not to return to earth.

“Hey guys, I found an army!” Tony exclaimed with a childish squeal as he gestured to the armour clad squirrels.

“I’ll have you know that is my army Tony. They recruited you,” Doreen retorted, massaging her wrists as she got to her feet.

“But I kitted them out. Squirrel’s in space, it’s awesome,” Tony argued and Doreen did have to admit it was pretty cool.

“Just one thing,” Nancy stated with Tippy Toe on her shoulder. “How are we going to get them all home?”