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Compromising Positions

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"Could you move your arm, please?"
"Left one?"
"Because your wrist is pressing against my neck, and it's beginning to hurt a little."
"So move."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"I'm really quite comfortable at the moment."
"Except for the spot in your neck."
"Except that, yeah."
"And you want me to move."
"See, I would, but there's a problem."
"What's that?"
"My arm has fallen asleep."
"You're kidding me."
"In fact, I'm not. So, in order for me to move my arm...."
"I'd have to move."
"Looks that way, yeah."


"You haven't moved yet."
"I'm well aware of that."
"Why haven't you moved yet?"
"I told you why."
"You're too comfortable."
"That's right."
"Then, if I were to do this..."
"Josh, that isn't fair!"
"If that's the reaction you have, you are definitely not too relaxed."
"You're trying to provoke me into moving, aren't you?"
"Pretty much, although I think I'm going to have to resort to desperate measures."
"Such as?"


"You know, I'm really glad you finally moved. I was starting to think I'd never get my arm back."
"Actually, you moved me. Which is impressive, considering that your arm is asleep and all."
"Well, now that you aren't lying on it, I'm getting the feeling back."
"You do realize that we have to get out of here soon, right?"
"It isn't that late, is it?"
"No, not yet."
"Okay, then."
"But soon."
"You know, I've decided something."
"Have you?"
"Yes. I'm calling in sick today, and you should, too."
"Won't happen."
"Why not? You haven't taken a day off in months."
"I really can't do that."
"Sure you can. Just pick up the phone, call Leo, and say 'Hey Leo, I'm not feeling very well and I think it would be best if I stayed home today'."
"And when he notices that I'm calling from your apartment?"
"Use your cell phone."
"I don't think that will work."
"Dead battery?"
"No, it's just that my phone is in the pocket of my pants."
"And my pants are on the other side of the room right now."
"I see."
"Wait. I have a plan. Pass me your phone?"


"Nicely done."
"That's what they pay me for."
"Those drama classes I took in school paid off, I take it?"
"You took drama?"
"Don't sound so surprised."
"No, it's just, I can't see you needing to take that, is all."
"Well, I needed the credits. Otherwise I'd have dropped it. Some of the people in that class…"
"Let me guess-bitchy alpha girls?"
"Very much so."
"Yeah. But we managed to come to an agreement of sorts."
"Really. What kind of agreement?"
"That they'd stop spreading the word that I was having an affair with my English professor if I'd stop ratting them out for showing up to class stoned all the time."
"Were you?"
"Was I what?"
"Having an affair."
"Not with my professor. He was a friend of my dad's. We had coffee a couple of times, and he came home with me for thanksgiving, because my father had invited him. Those girls blew it all out of proportion."
"I see."
"Yes. And they never figured out how to call in sick."
"Unlike us."
"That's right."
"You know, we should really get out of bed soon."
"You going to shower first?"
"Nah, you go ahead."
"Maybe you should just come with me. To save time."
"Not to mention water."
"An excellent plan, Josh."
"Mind if I make an observation?"
"Be my guest."
"You have incredibly long legs."
"Why, Josh, your powers of observation stun me."
"No, I'm serious."
"You just figured that out now?"
"No, I just noticed now that your legs actually look longer when you're barefoot, instead of when you're in heels."
"Well, I'm sure no one would mind if I padded around the West Wing in my stocking feet, so I'll try to accommodate you."
"Hey, thanks."
"Shut up and get in the shower."