All I can think about is how she can make or brake my day, as she jumps into my arms.
All I can feel is her body, glued to mine.
Her head leans against my shoulder, and I have her snug up against the dilapidated old wall down by the beach.
Her lips, soft, wet, hot. Her eyes, with a twinkle and a flash of naughty.
Even her knees, sticking out of her ripped jeans, are sexy.
No nonsense, no make-up, no fancy jewelry, except that one piece of shining white gold.
She is so beautiful. So like the diamond set deeply into that band of gold.
And so not mine.
I am her future husband’s best man.
Posted on January 31st on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic
My second entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
And she dreams. And dreams. She has lost herself to the images of psychedelic love and peace and understanding and… and… she doesn’t know where she is anymore. The voice that usually anchors her is gone.
Moments ago, a harsh voice joined her anchor’s voice, and it was spitting out hateful words, hissing and cussing, and then, a cracking sound, like the Earth being ripped apart.
A whiff of terrible, heavy smoke, something that turns the colors in her dream into black ashes.
The friendly voice is gone, and now she is alone. Not even the angry voice is there anymore.
Her mind keeps trying to come back into the now, back into the room in which she knows she must be sitting, the one where she exists also for other people. Where the ink on her skin matches the lines in her mind.
And in her dream there is a tune playing in the background, an old Rolling Stones song. The music is soft and it culls her, takes care of her. She doesn’t need to do anything at all, today. Nor ever again. She is safe inside her head.
She comes in colors everywhere. She combs her hair.
Posted on February 7th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 2
This entry won an Honourable Mention by the judge, @DarlingVeruca, with the words:
"Such pretty, poetic words even though it was a painful piece. I want to know how she got to where she is. Love that this one made references to classic music as well."
My third entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
While strong hands were making their way up her spine, a shiver ran through her whole body; she closed her eyes. Enjoyed.
She tried using her other senses to guess where the next touch would land on her body. The next feather-like touch, soft like a breath, perhaps on her neck? Or fluttering down between her shoulder blades? To the dip just above her hip where she might be ticklish if not handled with extreme care?
The sensations on her skin were triggering all new emotions inside her.
Nothing could stop her from feeling, from enjoying, from loving this way. Nothing was in their way. And if a first night only could happen once, she was having it, right there and then.
As the room slowly filled with vapor, she relaxed into the emotions that her skin was transmitting. Never before such sensitive skin, never before so intense.
Hands that knew her every secret, hands that were soft, strong and demanding. A body behind hers, unseen in the mirror, but present, so very present.
Warm, strong, soft, and alive.
She turned around. Opened her eyes. And told her new wife to kiss her already.
Posted on February 14th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic - Round 3
My fourth entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
Ordinary. As usual. Same old, same old. All these words that just mean simple.
And yet. And yet, at times, there is that moment, that fleeting moment, when everything stands so still you can take a mental picture of it, a picture that will live in your mind for as long as you shall breathe. An image, etched into your nerve endings in such a way that it becomes indelible.
You are that image.
At times, this is all we get. The moment, that fleeting moment, comes, and then passes us by. And all we retain is the intense feeling of having seen the other side. Having seen reality. Where time comes to a standstill, colors never fade, love never diminishes and friendship lives forever.
You are that image
and all I have left
is the image
of a life
No more moments of sheer brilliance. Just ordinary life.
Which is kind of okay, too.
Posted on February 21st on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic - Round 4
Inspirational image, a song and a video this time:
Here are the song's lyrics:
Stop the world
Stop the time
It's always running
Just trying to catch my breath
Just trying to take it in
Unfold and calculate
Concentrate and reach for something
Here's to the good times
The bad times
The times that could have been
To the wrong times
The right times
I know we'll breathe again
Suppose that we got older
Suppose that we'd begin
Suppose that I stopped running
It could begin again
Suppose in life we made it
I'm never looking back
I'm never looking back
The hardest part of letting go
Not easy to believe
And sometimes you'll just never know
Gets harder to perceive
You're long gone
I know you can see it, now
Can't feel it, after all
Seems it's us versus time
Think we made up our minds
All that's left is just to see
Here's to the good times
The bad times
The times that could have been...
Hiding in my home, or blacking out my windows couldn’t keep me from seeing you before me. Your face was etched on my mind. I buried myself in my darkened home, but I could never get rid of your ghost.
What was the right time for me was obviously wrong for you; twenty years have passed. I have never stopped running, and you have never looked back.
You just never got it, and then you were gone. Just gone. And I did get older, running too, I grew up, grew way up. Never looking back.
I had made it. I was never looking back.
And then today, you walk back in. You show me all the good times that could have been—as if I’d been the idiot back then, as if I hadn’t already known.
Your face is in agony, tears falling. Realization has hit. It is just that it is too late.
So I tell you no. And walk away.
Showing myself I have indeed made it. I am strong without you.
Posted on February 28th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic - Round 5
My sixth entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
I am ninety years old today. And I still dream of that kiss.
I never ever thought I’d get this far. I never imagined life like this.
And I never imagined it without you.
You were the reason for my existence, my only reason for breathing, for living, for surviving.
And yet, I have had to do it all without you, every, single day of this life that was supposed to be ours.
All you promised in that one kiss of farewell—none of it ever came true.
All I have ever had is that one kiss. That is all that was left of you for me, and I have waited. And waited. And now I am done.
I am done. The war killed me. But today I am dying.
I read your letter again, starting, “Dear John…”
Posted on March 7th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic - Round 6
My seventh entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
Hundreds of light bulbs, and I squint my eyes—as you showed me twenty-three years ago. The lights in the huge tree in the park transform and shift into a magic universe all of its own, brilliant shining stars going at light-speed.
“What does ‘squint’ mean?” I asked, and you showed me what and how and why.
“That is how I see you,” you said, “a million shining lights before my eyes. That is you.”
I loved you then. The explosion of emotions that you woke up within me, that shook to life with your cracking jokes and that grin that simply leveled me. The twinkle in your eyes as you gave me your sweetest smile.
The next day you were gone, and we never met again. Twenty-three years later, I still squint my eyes when I see dangling lights on a string or in a tree. And I think of you, Mark, and tell the universe that your words made me strong. Your words made me dare.
I still squint my eyes to see your universe. And even if I will never see you again, I will always see your stars.
I promise, Mark. I still squint my eyes.
Posted on March 14th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic - Round 7
My eighth entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
Is there not a one among them that measures up? She’s too intelligent, too beautiful, too much.
Most influential men are scared of smart women, and here she is, the epitome of brilliance and beauty.
There is not a one among them who dares approach her.
Lighting up her last cigarette, she leans her chin forward into her left hand, deciding to give it another six minutes of her precious time.
The curse of being a bright and beautiful woman is you often end up sitting alone at your table. Other women avoid you; the men are afraid to approach you.
She puts out her cigarette, gets up to leave, miniscule purse in hand, walking smack-bang into a young man who has been watching her a long time, with a twinkle in his eye.
“Are you leaving me behind?” he asks, with one raised eyebrow.
“Do you want me to?” she answers.
“No. I don’t. I want you to lead me out of here,” he says, looking straight into her eyes.
His long, shiny, black hair is twisted into a tidy ponytail and he looks like he might be 28.
That happens to be her favorite age on a man.
Posted on March 21st on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic - Round 8
This entry won Second Place by the judge, @katiewinkles, with the words:
"SECOND PLACE... @AnnaLund2011. This spoke to me from the first few words. It really did. The idea that men are sometimes scared by strong, intelligent women has always been something I believe, and this just paints a perfect perfect picture of that kind of woman. Heck, she intimidates ME!. And this: "Are you leaving me behind?” SWOON. A strong, assertive female always gets my vote. "
My ninth entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
SOME NIGHTS I LIE IN BED AND IMAGINE WHAT I’D BE DOING IF YOU WERE WITH ME
But you’re not here, are you? You left, you sucker, you took off the second you realized I didn’t have the money you needed.
Like someone had promised you things so much better than this, and you were entitled to so much more.
I lie here, thinking about you, yeah? And all I feel today is relief. Profound relief.
Relief because you left. Because you didn’t bring me down with you. Because you had all that entitlement going on in your brain. Because I have no part in what you became.
And now—who’s crying now, eh? It sure as hell isn’t me. I’ve managed just fine, I got my shit together and got up and out.
I’m not the one in jail—You are.
I didn’t kill anyone—You did.
I didn’t think I was better than everyone else—You did.
Yeah, you invented 3-D printing. But then you had to go and print a gun, and try shooting with it.
It worked. Go you.
Posted on March 28th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 9
My tenth entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
This quote is actually NOT by Shakespeare, but by the Italian poet and novelist Arrigo Boito, (one of my homies, as it were):
“Come ti vidi m'innamorai, e tu sorridi perché lo sai.”
(“The moment I saw you, I fell in love, and you smile because you know.”).
Forty-three years have passed since that first day I saw you, and still, when you walk into the room, I lose my grip on reality; I feel a pressure over my chest.
And still, after all these years, you turn around and smile. Because you know what it does to me. You know I can’t breathe right when you smile.
You love the power you have over me.
Life is still much like being at school. The cool kids still get chosen before the rest of us. And me? I always end up on the “Oh, well, I’ll take Peter, then” — when there is absolutely nobody else left to choose from.
That doesn’t make it right; it doesn’t make it better. It’s just something that defines who I am; something that shows me that everyone will always choose someone else first.
So, Sarah, keep smiling. Find strength wherever you can, dear.
The moment I saw you, I fell in love, and you smile because you know it.
So when I finally crash my car straight into yours, killing you on the spot, I feel I’ve done my part.
Finally. I smile, too.
Posted on April 4th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 10
My eleventh entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
Inspirational image, a beautiful video this time:
I am weightless, running wild with your love, spinning crazy.
Loving hard. Sighing sweet.
Wanting to be loved back.
Adoring the attention, but rising high, I become your marionette.
With your hands, you push me down. You bend me. Finish me. Hurt me.
Caressed, but totally controlled; this is no life, where is my soul?
I am sinking deep, and drowning inside.
This raging pain is all I can feel.
I’m hurting hard, but running slow.
To think I used to fly so well; so magnificent I used to soar.
Dying within. You are changing me.
But I am breaking.
Finding my voice, finally moving, finally managing to express my hurt, my pain, my love.
I am breaking.
My all, is gone.
Weightless, held up, loved and supported, I break free.
I am finally me.
Posted on April 11th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 11
The judge, @hummingbirdff, chose to only award one winner—which was @crackedfic, and what a story!—but left a word to each and every one of the participants. This is what she had to say about my story:
"The thing that captured me in this piece was that slow slipping of control that can happen in a relationship. Giving yourself to another person, and in effect giving them the power to destroy you. The strength the character shows gives me hope—it shows that you can take back control."
My twelfth entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
And there, in a spiral of subdued sunlight, there he stood. Unmoving, like a statue, shining with inner light; he shone with reflected light as well.
His huge, hazel eyes slowly met mine, and it was the understanding that I encountered there that floored me, the knowledge that this creature knew me. In seconds, he knew everything worth knowing about me, and in just a few seconds more, all the things that were important about him, were transferred over to me.
He filled my soul with knowledge so deep, it went beyond the ages.
We knew each other then. We will know each other forever.
He was beautiful. He was pure. He was white.
And he was all mine. I was ten, and he was my very first pony.
Posted on April 18th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 12
Chapter 13: Winner
My thirteenth entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
The rain. The rain.
The rain, he said, was going to wash it all away.
In this small café at the end of the world, I finally see clearly. Through rain-stained windows, I watch, and finally see.
The people around me are not my people.
They are all your people; I am so out of sync with who I am. I am lost, and I can’t find me.
The rain was going to cleanse and rinse and cleanse and rinse and cleanse and rinse and—and—
It did not.
All it did was make everything look miserable and wet.
So I watch the rain as it makes its way down the glass window, running down in sweet rivulets, and think to myself that it is the only thing that makes sense today.
It comes from above. It runs downward. It ends up in the gutter.
I put my hand up, just to feel something real.
Some days, that’s all you can handle.
Posted on April 25th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 13
My entry ended up THE WINNER! This is what the judge, @moonlit_girl, had to say:
"WINNER ... @AnnaLund2011
'In this small café at the end of the world, I finally see clearly.' How do you thank someone for taking what was in your mind and writing it so beautifully? This is pretty much spot on with what I was thinking when I saw the photograph. This sentence: 'So I watch the rain as it makes its way down the glass window, running down in sweet rivulets, and think to myself that it is the only thing that makes sense today.' And this one: 'I put my hand up, just to feel something real.' So wonderful. I think everyone has felt this way, for at least a moment. But you really captured it. Thank you so much."
My fourteenth entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
Young. And older. Both similar, so much genetics.
My sweet, sweet girl, go. Take your place.
Run with the wolves, scream at the moon.
Feel all the feels, scratch all your itches
Live all your lives, dream all your dreams.
Run. Run wild. Run free.
Go until you arrive at the end of the Earth, and see.
See for yourself, that the world is indeed round, and that when you have run far enough, fast enough, hard enough, then…
Then you will be right back here by me. But stronger. Bolder. Older. Wiser.
And just as beautiful as the day you were born.
You are my niece. I will love you until the end of the world and beyond.
Now, run. Run free.
Go be all you can be.
(Not in the contest, as I was a judge this week. I just had to write too).
Posted on May 3rd on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 14
My fifteenth entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
”Pull harder, girl!”
”I’m trying, Grandpa, but I’m too darned little!” I’m hollering at the top of my eight-year-old lungs.
”They’re getting away!”
”I know! I can’t hold it anymore, I’m—I’m—”
And—kaplunk-boink-splash—there I am, dans la flotte, (as Grandpa always said when he told the story years later), struggling for my life, hanging on to a net full of really pissed-off herrings.
Grandpa is holding his belly with one hand, and slapping his knee with the other, screaming with laughter. He knows I’m a champion swimmer, and that I never, ever give up. So he laughs, and laughs, and laughs.
I am still clutching the net, and the fish, and I am pulling for all I’m worth.
Grandma, on the sandy beach, mutters about “Lunch,” and “Easier ways,” and “Fishmongers,” and “They fish it, they clean it.”
My eyes and ears are full of water as I manage to pull the net to shore. For the WIN!
It’s an added bonus to see that Grandpa has lost both oars, and is jumping in to get them, pulling the boat back to shore by the line.
In his teeth.
Oh, the summers when I was a kid.
Note: Dans la flotte means in the water. Google translate won't get that right for you.
Posted on May 9th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 15
My sixteenth entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
I sway with the music of the universe, the music that the Milky Way plays for our ears only. The harmony of spheres, lost in space, found again, here in our arms.
You rise from kneeling in front of me, and you love me, I can see it in your eyes, in your smile, in the strength of your soul.
You are whole, and loving, and sane, and all the things that are good in life.
I have wings. They grow out by themselves, when my spirit is light. Some say you give me wings, but I know better.
I give myself wings, nobody else has the power to do it. You are simply there to watch them grow, to see me grow. To admire the fact.
You are beautiful, and you are all that I need when I fly.
Raising my hand, swaying with the music, I come around, dancing on the dirt under our feet.
I look you in the eye, and I say, “Yes.”
You drop your silly hat.
I kind of love you even more for that simple gesture.
We fall to the ground.
The inky black night sky is our only witness.
Posted on May 16th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 16
My seventeenth entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
I count them. Then I count them again. And then again.
All eight of them. Is this true? Is it for real?
All her eight pairs of knock-out-sex-on-a-stick-knickers are hanging up there, even the purple pair is right there in the sun, for everyone to see. I see the Dolce & Gabbana sleek pink ones with frilly fuchsia lacey inserts. The ones that make her legs look a mile long, and sweeter than life itself. Yeah, I even learned the name of the color on those, that’s how much.
Underwear is truly a thing of beauty.
And what is even more beautiful is the feeling of anticipation that is taking hold of my heart.
Oh, hell, who am I kidding? It sure isn’t my heart that’s in a twist.
They are ALL on the line.
My wife is going commando.
There is a god, after all.
And then I wrote a second one for this photo prompt because, inspiration:
Boy, I’ve come a long way from the frilly.
A long way from the pink. From the white, chaste, and sweet. I can still recall lines of that kind of laundry drying in the sun. Mostly hidden under huge sheets, right?
I really don’t miss my obnoxious granny-knickers. The things that I just wore because one has to wear something. Under.
Today, I am way into deep purple and dark indigo.
The blood-red and fiery orange.
I don’t hang them out to dry for everyone to see anymore, though, I already have trouble fitting in as it is; there is no need to add to the shit-storm.
The further along I move on this color-spectrum, the more I feel in control of my life, actually living it for and by myself. When I arrive at jet-black, I think my days are up.
Aspiration set. Goals in view.
I can safely say that I have all my knickers in a row.
Cobalt-blue. You’re next.
Posted on May 23rd on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 17
The judge, @SerendipitousMC, left a word to each and every one of the participants. This is what she had to say about my stories:
"Story 1 - All the laughs! I love how this is from the guy’s POV - it’s perfect, and it reads exactly as a guy would say it. It’s like one of the best anecdotes you’d come across in a compilation of them. That last line just killed me."
"Story 2 - Underwear as an analogy for life - perfect! I love how the writer shows us the character’s progression and increasing audacity through her choice of panties. I didn’t notice before I’d read this, but the underwear seems lined up on the clothesline in the photo so the colors and styles become increasingly bolder as it goes from left to right."
My eighteenth entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
I’m running after the ball. How am I to know it’s ending up in the pool? I am only three years old, and it BOUNCES. So beautiful, it bounces in every color of the rainbow.
I just giggle and run.
Mom is tired. She usually watches more closely by the pool, but today she’s dozing off, because my brother kept her up all night. He’s going to get teeth, they say. That hurts, they say.
Did I cry when I got teeth? No, I think I have ALWAYS had teeth. For as long as I can remember, there have always been teeth in my mouth, for biting into both candy and apples.
As I look up through the water, I see her legs over the side of the pool. I don’t think she saw me going in after the ball. I sank like a stone.
I’m watching the corner wall of the pool, down by the bottom. There are beautiful tiles here, shiny and blue.
I think she needs to come in and get me soon, because I can’t swim. I wasn’t wearing my arm-rings.
That is the last I ever see of her. Of anything.
It’s all blue now.
Posted on May 30th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 18
This entry didn't win anything at all, but the judge, @sparrownotes24, left a word to each and every one of the participants. This is what she had to say about my story:
"@AnnaLund2011The innocence of her thoughts as she sank into the pool was so heart-breaking. It had a much bigger impact than if she’d been panicking. Beautifully written and so sad."
My nineteenth entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
Are you kidding me? We’re so far removed from fairy tales that it’s almost corny. Fairy tales involve insta-love and happily-ever-after, unicorns dancing, and cowboys riding into setting suns, and shit like that.
While I can admit I’ve done my fair share of riding horses into setting suns, it was never romantic. It was usually after ten hours in the saddle or more, and after a full day of back breaking work.
Our story? No fairy tale.
First it was two opposing cultures, smashing into each other like freight trains; a Swedish woman with an Italian man. Oh, lord, that could have been fun to watch, if I hadn’t been stuck right smack-bang in the middle of it.
Then there was the losing of jobs, and horseback-riding crashes, and switching careers in mid-life, and losing our health again, and soul-searching, and harsh, harsh reality checking in on us. Daily.
What we have is seventeen years of hard, honest, sincere, and heart-breaking work.
We’ve earned every milli-second of happiness that we now share.
Love? Is hard, hard work.
So don’t come here and talk about fucking Fairy Tales, okay?
Oh, and I love you, by the way. Just saying.
Posted on June 6th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 19
This entry didn't win anything at all, but the judge, @lellabeth, left a word to each and every one of the participants. This is what she had to say about my story:
"@AnnaLund2011 ... Something about the brash tone of this resonates with me. It’s almost an acceptance that love doesn’t have to be perfect to be real, and maybe even that it can’t be both at once. The way they’ve worked for their love makes me think there’s such a tight bond there, one that will last much longer than any ‘insta-love’ would anyway."
My twentieth entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
The music. Makes me dance again, it shakes my bones, it wills me to hope again, run, skip, and smile.
Smile at strangers, who, surprised, smile back.
My heart is beating strong staccatos, I have room for all of you, inside.
You rock me with your fun, you soothe me with your love. I cry for your aches. I hug.
Sharing friends, words, laughs, sharing silliness.
Moments of I’m scared, of Help me, moments of Oh god, why me.
Moments of You are not alone, of intense feelings. Of feeling seen, noticed, and being important.
Breakfast, lunch, and dinner—at the same time, in this wondrous world of contemporary—yesterday, today and tomorrow—hearts beating fast to the music of WANT.
Want a friend; something over the rainbow; want someone to just hear me.
I Hear You.
A need to be wanted. A wish to be seen. A desire for a place. A craving for love.
We have it all, we give it all. It’s a kind of magic.
An electrocardiogram of music—hearts united, beating, slow and fast. Steady.
So, no, don’t Follow me. Walk beside me, be my friend.
I See You.
Posted on June 13th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 20
This entry won a Second Place by the judge, @ordinary_vamp, with the words:
"Second Place: @AnnaLund2011 -> The rhythm in this piece is lovely. The words are syncopated and disjointed, but they flow with ease. Your narrator feels music in her soul, and it exudes from her character; and that, in turn, is felt by the reader. My favourite line: “So, no, don’t Follow me. Walk beside me, be my friend.” I love your use of the song and the picture; it’s a lovely combination. Your words, too, are a kind of magic. This was a pleasure to read."
A huge thank you to Julio-Alexi for being the inspiration that you are.
Chapter 21: My Best One
My twenty-first entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times over on Fan Fic Flash Fic
Inspirational image, a video this time:
The Rock In The Sea
In the midwinter night I stride through back alleys to the Port Vieux, the abandoned old harbor, vessels long gone to history.
My feet bring me up the path leading to the rugged cliffs of the Rocher de la Vierge reaching out into the mighty ocean.
I clash with the winds, warring the elements themselves, a fury of blond witch-hair whipping around me. I am enraged; even the aether quivers as I roar.
The Atlantic spits in my face, as I pull myself into a position from which I can spit right back.
My long, black coat beats like a living thing in the gale; a surge of joy bursts through me.
The ocean takes the brunt of MY anger, of MY temper, and he is cowering, troubled, his waves churning fearful tears of froth.
Right here beside me, a statue of the virgin, the symbol of the sacred feminine, more ancient than the crossèd god who usurped and supplanted her; she sees me, approves, as I let it all out; I scream, fight, roar, and win against the storm.
I am truly ready.
The power of wild woman.
I am fury.
Heed my wrath.
Note: Biarritz, France, the summer of Too-Long-Ago.
Revised and lovingly edited by Julio-Alexi. Thank you my friend. In the soft touch of your hands, my words shine.
Posted on June 20th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic - Round 21
My 22nd entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
So I hang a little closer. Feel a little giddy. You don’t seem to mind. You kinda lean, too. What does it mean? Is this okay?
I don’t know how to read you; it feels like you know. But I don’t want to jinx it, what if you get mad?
I make a weird sound, like deep anguish. You turn your beautiful smile toward me, saying Look at us! We’re on top of the World, girl! On Top of the World!
You have never been this close, physically or emotionally, and it feels like my time is running out. You are beautiful with your hair blowing all around your happy face.
So I take a deep breath, smile—and kiss you. Then I kiss you again. And again.
You stand there, stunned, as my arms come down around you, and suddenly all the air seems to leave your body as you sag into me.
I hear your mumbled words against my throat, as you burrow deep into my jacket and straight into my heart:
Thank you. And please. And yes. And, oh, thank god, I thought I was going crazy.
New York. You did this. You helped me.
Posted on June 27th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 22
This entry won an Honorable Mention by the judge, @BedeliaJane, with the words:
"Honorable Mention: @AnnaLund2011 ->This one had me feeling the emotions right along with the narrator. Lovely. :)"
Thank you Julio-Alexi. A helping hand from a beta like you? With a light touch and caring words of support ? You make my words shine. I can never express my gratitude.
Also, thank you all for appreciating a flash that is f/f. Not many of them around.
My 23rd entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
I danced that summer. While my heart was breaking, I sang.
We railed against the powers that be; I loved, oh, how I loved!
We were everything; we ruled the world, in that one, long weekend, music running through our veins like psychedelic notes of truth.
All time high. Everyone was happy, sated, at peace. We made love, not war. Yes, better to love, and feel, and sing, and dance. This was our first chance. Our last chance.
Our only chance.
The world stood still as we waded, hand in hand, through the muddy fields. Happiness made so much more acute by the knowledge that it was ephemeral; yet our future beckoned.
As we lay in the dirty grass, alone in the crowds, with eyes for one another only, nobody could break our peace. Nowhere more important to be, nothing more important to do.
We tried to change the world. We got lost in the music and the love. Those few days were all we ever got. You shipped one week later.
Solace, a long time coming. But something did change.
My love, you never came home.
I went to Woodstock.
You guys saw the movie.
Posted on July 4th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 23
This entry won a (tied) 2nd place by the judge, @sandyquill, with the words:
"@AnnaLund2011: Made me melancholy. Beautifully done."
My 24th entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
“I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity, and her flaming self respect. And it's these things I'd believe in, even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn't all she should be. I love her and it is the beginning of everything.”
― F. Scott Fitzgerald —
My grandmother ran away from her well-off family.
She rode circus horses, danced the Charleston on rickety tables in dark salons. She drank glorious cocktails in public, and sang her heart out.
She roared, and the Twenties roared right back.
A family of no sons—she had seven sisters—so one sister ended up manager of the family factory. It flourished, all through the Depression. It was a mystery to all.
My grandmother took the train to Paris, alone, where she smoked elegant cigarettes in long and dandy holders, and danced both on tables and in the ruelles of the grand city. She lived, during that long summer; she lived her whole life.
And danced, for the last time.
All died within her when she married.
My grandmother, half a century later, had nothing to do with the woman I saw in the photographs—or the fiery words of her diaries—that I found after her death.
There is one image—she has a funny little hairdo, and a feathery hat sitting daintily on one ear. A wrecking, toothy wolf-grin splits her face in two, martini-glass high in her hand.
I own the very same grin.
I’m keeping that photograph.
This entry won an Honorable Mention by the judge, @QuinnSkylark, with the words:
"Honorable Mention: @AnnaLund2011 – 'She roared, and the Twenties roared back.' SO awesome!"
Posted on July 11th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 24
My 25th entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
“ Baby, I’m leaving here. I can’t stop bleeding here”
—Biffy Clyro's Opposite—
There was a calm around him that I have never found again.
I leaned, he followed; he turned, I went with.
He gave me strength to go on. Like pure magic.
I'd been fucked sideways more times in six months than ever before in my whole life.
I didn't give up. Because of him.
More than nine thousand hours in the saddle together—yeah, I count them, like a fighter pilot. He kept the secrets I cried into his mane. I still hear a whisper of his voice by his old paddock.
We had many years of calm and happiness.
One day, his cancer was finally too much.
He looked at me, and told me it was time. It took me one day to get a vet, and then I was on the grass, with his head in my lap.
I did not shed a single tear. Not one. Not until he was gone.
Then my heart broke in so many little pieces that I'm still looking for some of them today.
A blessed Algonquin owl's feather tied into his mane, sending him off, and a braid of his forelock, which came home with me.
It is all I have left.
Posted on July 18th (my birthday) on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 25
This entry won an Honorable Mention by the judge, @sparklymeg, with the words:
"Honorable Mention: @AnnaLund2011 – This one brought the tears. Heartbreaking."
With a soft editing touch from Julio-Alexi. Words are not enough to thank you.
My 26th entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
Your fingers leave his; he is adrift.
Where did you go? He is left behind, stumbling, staggering. Alone. Never more alone than when losing a parent, someone who has been there your whole life.
The scariest thing is that he won’t see you again, and his mind reels, fights the pain, and tries to trick him into thinking that he's exaggerating as usual.
But he is not.
You are not going to let him come home again, are you?
He turns around, and walks away, leaving both laptop and calendar behind; his old, battered walking shoes get stringed and tied, and he is off.
Fifteen years later, he is still walking, still wondering, still wanting to go home, but never actually making it there.
There was pain in the walking away.
But there would be even more in going back.
You threw him away. After loving him his whole life, you threw him away.
Over something as silly as the person he loved.
You lose at parenting.
Zero points overall.
He is still looking for his pack, all these years later. But you? You threw away your greatest fan, your support in old age, your finest creation.
You threw away your own child.
This entry didn't win anything at all, but the judge, @TinsleyWarren, left a word to each and every one of the participants. This is what she had to say about my story:
"@AnnaLund2011 This was captured so well. Such strength in this character and the writing really sucked you in and made if feel like you were walking right next to them, feeling their pain."
Posted on August 1st on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 27
My 27th entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
Leaving that place, that summer place, where memories are counted by decades, I could never leave without shedding tears. Who can? Who could possibly?
That time, it was worse than ever.
Grey above and grey below, wet or misty the only difference.
That year I was leaving you behind.
There had never been anyone quite like you in my corner before. Never had anyone’s whole being lit up as I entered a room.
I had never had anyone hanging on my every word, listening to my very soul’s confessions.
But summer was over.
Delightful, happy joy had turned into the deep agony of separation.
As my boat crashed into wave after recalcitrant wave, I was floored by a sense of wrong, of terror, and of deep and intense loss.
And of a need to fix it. To jump into the water, and swim back. To you.
The agony of loss had mutated into loneliness. Loneliness, that petty, but pretty, mistress, the basis of all my most well formulated desperate thoughts and creations.
My innermost feelings turned grey as the waters; I was drowning in that ocean.
So, I did.
You caught me.
As you have caught me every day since.
This entry didn't win anything at all, but the judge, @lellabeth, left a word to each and every one of the participants. This is what she had to say about my story:
"@AnnaLund2011—Beautiful. I love this interpretation of the prompt, and the hope at the end."
Posted on August 8th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 28
Chapter 28: Winner
My 28th entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
Just once, I would love for you to come looking for me.
Just once, would that it were you searching high and low for me.
No, I am always the one searching, holding my breath, scared of what I might find. Searching, while fervently hoping that this time—this time!—it will all be better, you won’t be sad, or angry, or desperate, or high.
My sister. My sister, fading in front of my very eyes. So I run, once again, through all your haunts, searching, fretting.
No use. I find you. Again. In pieces. Silly and happy smile on your face.
I hate that smile.
I am your brother, and you cling to me like I could make a difference. But I fear that I cannot.
All I can do is hold you tight when you are found, time and time again. Hoping that next time it will be easier. Or better. Or at least not so bad.
And knowing that it will probably be way worse.
Just once, I would so love for you to come looking for me.
Before everything blows up in your face.
In a moment where we can actually do something about it, and not just drown in the riptides.
This entry appealed to the judge, @jacndaniel, because I actually **dances** WON this week:
"FIRST PLACE ... @AnnaLund2011—Wow! This ripped my heart out! The frustration and anger that comes with being the sibling of an addict is something I have first hand experience with. Your words oozed helplessness and they killed me."
Posted on August 15th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 29
My 29th entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
We finally met.
After months on end, chatting over IRC in Undernet, through strange and wondrous stations—it was a bit like amateur radio in its day—and I got to use my brand new and shiny Powerbook 140.
You know, the little machine that came equipped with all of an extended 4 MB ram and 40 MB of hard disk. God, that makes me laugh today.
Not like today, no, in those days you needed to be a dedicated geek to connect.
You needed the correct software, people who could help you to the right server to connect to…and suddenly… CONNECTION.
Try a channel, any channel, go, run, hurry, maybe #Ferrari? Or #Italia? Undernet was a confusing place, and doing it all in Italian just added spice.
I still remember the thrill that went through my whole body every time the 28.8 did its little song and dance.
Soon, soon, it said. Soon you’ll be talking to him again.
And I did. We talked, and talked, and talked. For hours. For months.
The first man to travel across a whole continent to get to me.
Of course I never let go.
Life is really simple.
This entry received these words by the judge, Sherbert20111:
"@AnnaLund2011 - Enjoyed the chattiness of this, I mean by that it feels like the writer is talking rather than just reading the written word. I stumbled over the technical stuff until I got to the ham radio bit and went, Aha! Ok, let’s go it’s plain sailing from there. The last line should almost read “Life is rarely simple” after the lines above, a second language, a whole continent, different customs, but communication makes it work. It is a universal truth. "
Posted on August 29th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 31
My 30th entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
“Travel brings power and love back into your life.”
― Rumi —
“It’s this way!”
“Hell, no, it isn’t! It’s that way!”
You are fuming, and I’m so pissed off I feel I might be exploding.
Travel, they said. It’ll be so much fun, they said.
This trip is a power-struggle slipping into DEFCON 1; all white, maximum readiness.
“I am behind the wheel, you should just read the maps and tell me where to go!”
“I do tell you where to go, but you don’t listen to me!”
Right. There’s that. I truly don’t.
I stop the car. We both get out. You are frantically pointing in one direction, while I am just as frantically pointing in the opposite one.
Travel, they said. So much fun, they said.
“Let’s just ask someone for directions!”
“I know where to go, do I look like someone who needs to ask for directions? Goddammit, woman, listen to me! It’s that way!”
“You are such a man! Never wrong, never ask for help! I’m sick and tired of it!”
Suddenly there is a sweet, calm, female voice overriding our argument.
“Take a left in the rotary, third exit.”
Oh, for all that’s holy.
Thank you for the TomTom gps.
This entry apparently appealed to the judge, PinkCookie, because I actually came in Second this week:
"@AnnaLund2011 - SECOND PLACE: Wow, I feel like I’ve been in this car before! Everybody must do the same song and dance when they travel because this is sooo familiar. Wonderful job on using both prompts. "
Posted on September 5th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 32
My 31st entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
“HELLO – I’m quite lonely without you.”
There is your hand, insinuating itself into mine.
My own fingers work without conscious thought, linking, holding, grasping.
There is a sigh and a drawn breath, and suddenly everything is easier. It is easier to breathe, to walk, to think, to live.
Because you are here, beside me.
And all is good. All is shiny and new and brilliant and vibrating colors.
You do that to me, you send me that kind of calm, the kind where I can just relax and lie back and just be. Be myself.
I wake up, and I’m alone again.
This entry received these words by the judge, @GeekChic12FF:
"@AnnaLund2011 - Oh, no. This was so hopeful and beautiful, and then...disappointment. I loved the way you describe the feelings of linking hands with someone you love. Beautiful."
Posted on September 12th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 33
My 32nd entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
“Punishment is justice for the unjust.”
Bright, shining lipstick?
Red cocktail dress?
Enormous kitchen knife?
Feeling of complete control?
I mirror myself in the shining knife, and I try to get into the mood. To enter the role of ruthless killer that I will need tonight.
Yes. Because this? This is do or die time. I am channeling my power player and every single vein in my body is pumping with adrenaline.
This is Madeleine 2.0—winner. The one who has almost nothing in common with version 1.0.
Gordon Ramsey, fuck with me tonight and I’ll cut a bitch.
This entry won a Second Place by the judge, @CrackedFic:
"@AnnaLund2011 - Second Place. This one made me laugh. I really don’t know what she has planned for tonight, but I’m scared of her anyway. You go, Madeleine."
Posted on September 19th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 34
My 33rd entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
It’s just the beginning—
…you said. You even wrote it on your palm to show me.
I was shocked. Shocked that you didn’t realize, couldn’t see.
Pissed off, because I was completely aware of the differences between us. Differences you said didn’t matter, only love mattered.
You said. So many things.
Promised even more.
None of it ever came to be, did they?
All your pretty words about love and goodness and sturdy friendship.
As usual, I was left out, on the sidelines.
Run to the ones who hurt you, never stay with those who love you.
—of the end.
This entry won nothing, but the judge, @Mylissa had this to say:
"@AnnaLund2011 - Oh, no! I know all about those pretty words with nothing to back them up. I love the way you opened and closed this."
Posted on September 26th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 35
My 34th entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
Yet another wave that hits me in the solar plexus.
Yet another line that cuts me to the quick.
Yet another lie that is presented so sweetly.
Yet another day that makes me want to die.
—and then I hear a new kind of music, one that can heal instead of bruise.
I’ll keep my scars, but the phantom pain is gone.
Right there in the heart of it, is where I find the way forward.
The music that takes me by the hand and leads me out.
This is the only music one should listen to anyway.
This entry won nothing, but the judge, @moonlit_girl, had this to say:
"@AnnaLund2011 - All music has power. These lines also have power: I’ll keep my scars, but the phantom pain is gone. Right there in the heart of it, is where I find the way forward. You left me wanting to know what came before, and what comes next."
Posted on October 3rd on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 36
My 35th entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
I passed you by—I couldn’t see you, I don’t know why.
You were beautiful—black hair, brown eyes, brown skin, soft smile, and happy dimples.
How is it that I passed you by—when truly seeing you could have changed my life?
My life could have been full—with you in my corner.
Someone absolutely loyal—why did I not realize what you were?
Happiness, and warm laughter—that is what you could have meant to me.
I suppose I never deserved you—that’s why I couldn’t see.
Today I know better.
Help me change—make me see?
This entry won me a 3rd place, and the judge, @midnightsun1901, had this to say:
"@AnnaLund2011 - 3rd place: The emotions conveyed in this piece of writing are raw and relatable, and the bitterness makes the whole piece rather sad. It is very easy to sympathise with the character, even having not heard their full story."
Posted on October 10th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 37
My 36th entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
My hand grabs yours, fiercely.
“I’ve got you. Hang in there.” My voice is hoarse, weary from words.
You look down on our entwined fingers, and start reading the words we painted there during the night.
“There is power in these words, inked all over our skin,” you say.
I agree. There are many reasons people get tattoos; some things hurt so deeply you need a physical reminder of what it was like. Or, some things make you so soaring happy, that you need a tangible proof of its passing on your body.
Of faith in our magic.
This entry won no medals, but the judge, @magTwi78, had this to say:
"@AnnaLund2011 - This was like a brief, momentary glimpse into two lives. I think it was a great explanation for some of the reasons people might get tattoos, and an interesting use of the prompt. I loved the emotion attached to the words—I really felt it."
Posted on October 24th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 39
My 37th entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
Her heart was a secret garden and the walls were very high
And no wonder, after what you did to her.
But in her garden she now strolls; all that she is and all that she has is still hers and hers alone. Nobody can touch her in her garden.
She walks, dancing, through the Roses, she sings under the Magnolia, and she smiles that special smile of true happiness by the orange blossoms. The smile that comes from being in complete harmony with oneself.
You shattered everything around you, but that smile of hers? You could not touch that. You could not alter it. You had no power over her.
Today, she needs nobody. She is all she wants to be. She is all she can ever be.
And you—you cannot ever enter her garden, you were banished, not by weapons or harsh words, no, by something much subtler, and much more harsh.
You are locked out of her secret garden because you truly lost your magic.
That is the power of Samhain.
You cursed yourself.
She now embodies the power of wild woman.
She bows to no man.
This entry appealed to the judge @suebee0619, and here's her ruling:
I have somewhat mixed feelings about this one, but the positives far outweighed anything else. I love the imagery of her dancing and singing and keeping her smile even after whatever happened. And the mixed feeling of her being all she wants to be, all she can be is interesting. It left me wondering whether those walls are permanent or whether she’ll ever let anyone in. While I appreciate pulling Samhain in because of when this flash fic happened to fall, I actually think the reference to it detracted from the piece as a whole. That being said, I love the way the rest of it spoke to me."
Posted on October 31st, Halloween, on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 40
My 38th entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
I lean back against the train headrest, pulling air into my lungs in huge gulps, saturating my blood with oxygen, finally.
Finally I can draw real breaths, and not those nervous, little tip-of-my-lungs-short-sniffs I’ve been taking the last fifteen years.
Real, honest, deep breaths. It is liberating. And scary. And wonderful.
It is done. I have left him.
My heart is finally slowing down its race.
I have run so far. I have run so fast.
But most of all, I have run so hard; now it is time for me to take a deep breath, and remember to let it out again. Repeat.
Never again will his hand come down on any part of my body. Never again, neither in caress nor in pain—I will not tolerate it.
Next time, if there is a next time, I will kill him before he can hurt me again.
It’s do or die-time.
I owe this to myself, and I owe it to the young girl inside me who screamed for help when none was to be had.
Who wailed from a void whence nobody could save her.
She has saved herself, now.
I have saved me.
We are again, one.
This entry won no medals, but the judge, @moonlit__girl, had this to say:
"@AnnaLund2011—The beginning of this is lovely. The way you describe her breathing in the first few lines is perfect. I can almost hear her. 'Finally I can draw real breaths, and not those nervous, little tip-of-my-lungs-short-sniffs I’ve been taking the last fifteen years.' Nicely done."
Posted on November 7th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 41
My 39th entry to the fan fic flash fic fun times - come join us over on Fan Fic Flash Fic!
"Forever is composed of nows."
There’s always water, in my dreams.
Thinking of you, there’s always a backdrop of ocean, sea, lake, or river.
Water, gushing, or gently streaming.
Intimately connected with water and sunshine and warmth, and sand or pebbles under the soles of my feet.
There’s something so basic, so grounding, with the simple thought of you.
There’s nobody quite like you.
I hold my hand out—you take it and turn it over. You lean down and place a gentle kiss on my upturned palm.
Warmth spreads, like bushfire.
I am safe.
There’s sun. There’s water.
And there’s you.
This entry won me an honorable mention, and the judge, @sandyquill, had this to say:
"@AnnaLund2011—HONORABLE MENTION: Using the ocean as a symbol of the foreverness is beautiful. It totally works for me in terms of the quote and the image."
Posted on November 14th on:
Fan Fic Flash Fic, Round 42