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I am Not the Singer That You Wanted But a Dancer

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Johnny's favorite fur coat used to be the huge fluffy-sleek grey one, with the subtle silver undertones and the collar that threatened to kill his posture permanently, because he kept wanting to hunch his shoulders just so he could rub his face against it, it was so nicely-shaped and soft.

Unfortunately, Johnny's asshole brother spilled green paint on that coat back in '05, so that now it looks like the refugee of an animal rights protest, because only Gee would ever be an animal rights activist by accident. He was, of course, extremely sorry about it, at least once he was done with the portrait he was using the green paint for, and bought Johnny a new fur coat to show his remorse no more than a measly seven months later.

The new coat is the one single most hideous item of clothing Johnny has ever seen, and he spent all of his early life in the Way household, so that's saying something. It would be out of fashion several different ways if it were possible for it to have ever been in fashion to begin with, or even to exist in the same universe as fashion. It's a length that would possibly work on Mikey and almost too tight even for Johnny, it somehow manages to clash with itself even though it's essentially one color, and it's warm enough that the only way he'd ever be able to wear it for long would be if he was lost for three weeks in the wilds of Siberia. Which isn't a problem, since it's not like he'd ever choose to put it on unless he really was lost on the snow and about to freeze to death.

The new coat isn't Johnny's favorite in any way whatsoever. Actually, every time he looks at that particular part of his closet and sees it hanging there, he wants to kill himself a little, because his genes are polluted in ways that will never be okay.

The fact that it's been hanging in there peacefully since 2006 anyway, or that sometimes he finds himself grinning long after he's backed away in horror or, say, calling Mikey even though it's four AM wherever it is his brothers are just then, well. That fact is completely immaterial. Johnny has excellent taste. He just hasn't gotten around to burning the thing yet.