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The Noble Observation

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“Well, that doesn’t make any sense.” Sheldon sounded deeply aggrieved. He looked down at the coffee table. “What on earth would possess you to use cookies and creme to represent the noble gases?”

Leonard, who had been pouring himself a cup of coffee, rolled his eyes from the kitchen and grumbled, “Here we go."

"Under standard conditions, the noble gases are both colorless and monatomic in nature. Colorless and monatomic, Leonard.” With a deep frown, Sheldon shook his head, as though Leonard couldn’t possibly disappoint him more. "Given these attributes, how could you even think to use cookies and creme when clearly white chocolate is the only acceptable proxy here?“

Annoyance tugged at the corners of Leonard’s eyes, but he grabbed his coffee and returned to his seat anyway. "I don't know,” he shrugged. Peering over the rim of his mug, he regarded the chocolate squares in his makeshift table. "Penny left five pieces, so I kinda just utilized the available resources.”

“Oh, dear lord,” Sheldon groaned.

“Besides,” Leonard cut him a sharp look, “it’s not like I could find a better use for them elsewhere. Lactose intolerant, remember?”

Sheldon blinked at him, expression shifting from exasperated to critical to silent consideration. “I see your point,” he said finally. A slow smile crept onto his lips. “I suppose all things considered, playing with your food was a rather noble gesture on your part, after all.”

Leonard was unmoved. "Ha ha very ha,“ he said drily.

Sheldon just smiled wider so Leonard could see the almost conspiratorial twist to his mouth. After a pause, Sheldon leaned in to say, "I believe the word you’re searching for is HeHe.”

Leonard stared at him.

Just stared as Sheldon stared back, fairly vibrating with pride.

“Get it?” Sheldon made a noise that was a cross between chuckling and wheezing. "It’s funny because ‘He’ is the chemical symbol for helium, which heads the noble gases on the periodic table of elements.“

Rubbing at the space between his brows, Leonard felt the beginnings of an aneurysm coming on. "Yes, and I’m going to eat every piece of chocolate on the table of our living room if you don’t cut it out right now.”

Sobering, Sheldon shot him a reproachful look. Leonard glared back. They shared a moment of mutual displeasure that was only capable between roommates.

“So in other words,” Sheldon smirked slowly, “you’ll consume the chocolate until all the pieces argon.”

Oh, that so did it.

Leonard swiped at the closest piece of chocolate. He barely had enough time to puff up in manly indignation when Sheldon’s hand caught his wrist mid-swing.

“Hey!” Leonard said, but Sheldon didn’t let him go. He just leaned over and plucked the square of chocolate off the table for himself, tsking as he rotated it between his fingers.

“Careful, Leonard,” Sheldon said. Smiling like a cat, he popped the piece into his mouth with a resolute look of victory. "I’ve got my ion you.“