Work Header

Peaceful Interrogations

Work Text:

Xander rolled over and threw his arm over Riley’s waist, twisting his head so he could see what textbook the other man had opened on the bed next to them. Somehow, and Xander wasn’t entirely sure what methods Riley had used, but somehow Riley had talked his friends into believing that he had joined some kind of study group for his upper level Cultural Anthropology class. Riley had admitted that the only reason that they had believed him was because Anthropology remained one of the few social sciences that Riley actually had difficulty with.

Xander thought Riley was being a little dramatic over only having a B minus.

The majority of Riley’s study time was spent with Xander in what they had both termed ‘semi-dates’. Like dates, they enjoyed one another’s company and often shared vital information about their lives, but unlike a date they didn’t actually leave Xander’s basement. Riley, being the good boy that he was, insisted on spending a small portion of that time actually studying. Xander honestly believed he was crazy, but didn’t do more than tease him.

“What are you reading?” Xander asked, resting his chin on Riley’s shoulder.

“I think it’s on linguistics,” Riley offered, “but I’m not entirely sure. The words are blurring together and you’re not helping any.”

“What did I do?” Xander exclaimed, frowning.

Riley looked down at his stomach pointedly. Following his gaze, Xander immediately spotted his hand which had, fully of its own accord, slipped under Riley’s shirt and was busy stroking the skin just above his belly-button.

Xander grinned. “But you’re just so touchable.”

“Xander,” Riley said, giving him a look. It would probably have been one of annoyance, but Riley’s mouth was clearly fighting the urge to smile so Xander didn’t believe him for one moment.

“You were such a geek in high school, weren’t you?” he asked. He had his doubts, as Riley was kind of the definition of All American Boy, but the dedication he had to school work was only the type earned via a hard lesson or geekdom. Xander was betting on the latter.

“Where would you get an idea like that?”

Xander innocently pointed toward the massive textbook that, if he had any say on the matter, should be set aside so they could involve themselves in more interesting adventures. Not sex, though. He and Riley had already had sex about an hour ago. No, Xander wanted nothing more than to sit Riley down and explain to him just why Street Fighter will always be the best form of couple bonding in the world. So far, Riley had been evading this lesson.

“Actually, I wasn’t a geek,” Riley said with a chuckle. “Just the opposite.”

“Stupid jock, then?” he asked, grinning when Riley shot him a dirty look.

“More like bad boy,” Riley replied smugly. Xander had to roll away in an attempt to hide his laughter. He almost fell off the bed in the process, only to have Riley grab him just in time and pull him into his arms. Riley held him and sighed. “I should be offended by that, shouldn’t I?”

“Not at all,” he said, twisting around once more to get comfortable. “Consider it a testament to how humble you appear.”

Riley scowled. “I'll have you know my friends and I were legends at my school.”

“Legends. Right,” Xander said, nodding, before he burst into a long session of giggling. He covered his mouth, trying to smother it. Riley pushed him away and for a second Xander thought he had actually managed to offend Riley, but then he felt fingers digging at his sides and his giggles turned into full laughter. He squirmed, trying to get out from under Riley's heavy weight. “I give, I give! Oh god, stop.”

“Not until you admit it!” Riley ordered, pinning Xander to the bed. “I am a legend!”

“Never!” Xander called out, twisting in an attempt to get away. He grinned up at Riley, darting forward to kiss him.

Riley pulled back. “Oh, no. I'm not letting you go until you admit that I am a legend among men.”

“Yeah, okay, sure. You're a legend...among dairy farmers!” Xander teased.

“My family grows corn, you ass,” Riley said, laughing.

“I lov--” Xander cut himself off, eyes growing wide. Riley blinked down at him, a hint of confusion entering his eyes. Xander cleared his throat. “You're a total legend. I give. Okay? Okay. Yeah, so, who's up for some popcorn?”

“Xander, did you just--” A loud knock interrupted and Riley quickly jumped off the bed, grabbing his textbook and seating himself at the small kitchen table in a fast move that left Xander staring. Riley turned a couple of pages, a blush appearing at the back of his neck. The knock came again. “Aren't you going to get that?”

“How did you get over there so fast?” Xander demanded as he finally got to his feet. He made his way to the stairs just in time to see his door fly open. He stared up at the figure in the doorway with confusion. “Huh. Anya?”

“Xander, you're supposed to answer the door when someone knocks!” she exclaimed as she stormed down the stairs. She spotted Riley at the table. “Hello adorable man that I do not know.” That said, she proceeded to ignore Riley's presence. “Xander, I need to talk to you.”

“About what?” Xander asked. “I haven't even seen you since graduation.”

“I can't get you out my mind,” Anya stated, taking in a deep breath. “So, I decided to come back and do the only thing I can to get rid of you once and for all.” She drew in another deep breath and began unbuttoning her jacket. “Xander, we need to have sex.”

Xander's jaw dropped at the same time as Anya's jacket, showing that she wasn't wearing anything more than underwear. He glanced down her body, appreciating the sight for about a millisecond, before he turned to see Riley glaring at him. He swallowed and covered his eyes with his hand. “Anya, you need to put some clothes on and leave.”

“But, Xander, this is the only way,” Anya insisted, resting her hands on her hips. Xander rolled his eyes and pointedly looked at Riley. Anya didn't seem to notice. “I thought just having sex would work, but all the men I slept with in L.A. didn't help at all. I even slept with a woman and that didn't work. I have to have sex with you. Once I do, you'll be out of my system and I'll never have to see you again.”

“Well, with sweet talk like that...” Xander said. He sighed and shook his head. “Look, Anya, I can't sleep with you. I'm with someone.”

“Who?” Anya asked, looking around. “All I see is the cute frat boy and while he is pretty, he's certainly not a girl.”

“Yeah, that's kind of a good thing for me right now,” Xander told her.

She frowned and, seemingly oblivious of her nudity, scratched thoughtfully underneath one breast. “But he's a boy. Man. A man-boy. I'm not sure if you know this or not, but he has a penis, Xander. Or it's a sock.”

Across the room Riley made a choking noise and glared even harder at Xander.

“Okay, Anya! It's time for you to go,” Xander said, reaching down and picking up Anya's jacket and shoving it into her arms.

“But!” Anya began.

“Nope, you get to leave,” Xander insisted, ushering her toward the stairs.


“He's my boyfriend and I don't cheat, especially when he's sitting at my crappy kitchen table.”

Anya stomped her foot and flung on her jacket with jerky motions. “Fine! Fine! Stay in your shitty basement with its mold and damp air. Sleep with your sexy boyfriend and forget about ever getting personal with my vagina, Xander Harris!”

Xander stared at her a moment, mouth dropping open. “I suppose I should be upset about that. Seriously, Anya, get out of here.”

“You could have been the love of my life!” Anya yelled back at him as she stormed up the stairs, before the door echoed shut behind her. Xander looked up at the closed door for a moment. Blinking, he slowly turned to find Riley watching him with an amused look on his face.

“Let me guess, that was Anya the Prom Date, right?” Riley asked, breaking into a bright grin.

“Shut up,” Xander ordered.

“Do you know what scares me? What would your life have turned into if I wasn't here and you had given into that crazy woman?” Riley asked.

Xander scowled. “That's it! You are never having sex with me again.”

“Oh, come on, Xander,” Riley protested.

“Nope,” Xander said, shaking his head. “Sorry, you officially killed my libido.”