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One Pun Is All It Took

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Marinette stared hard at the blond boy seated next to her.

Alya had dragged the four of them out of their caves for a night out on the town, giving a sweetly disguised death glare at anyone who tried to protest.

"Are you fucking serious?"

 

Marinette thought, the amount of venom in her voice shocking herself. She had rarely experienced a homicidal urge before, but this was passionate and all consuming. If looks could kill, the assumingly innocent model would've keeled over about ten seconds ago.
She was seething, her vision gaining a slight red hue.

"Are you FUCKING serious."

Whoops.

Her friends turned to look at her, eyes wide in shock.

 

Well, in Alya's case, pride.

"Daaaaaaaammmmnn girl, I don't think I have ever heard you swear like that!" Exclaimed the red-tipped girl across from her. tension broke, and Adrien's eyes filled with light humor.

Adrien.

Marinette's head snapped up to look at him, rage seeping into her eyes and making the gorgeous boy swallow whatever grin he had been wearing.

This seemed to go unnoticed by the other patrons at the table , as the silent exchange going on between the two heros.

Adrien managed a sheepish smile, trying to figure out what the hell he'd done to flip her switch, causing him to see a side of the kind girl that he frankly never wanted to see again.

"U-um.. Marinette...? Did I do som-"

She didn't even need to speak. The intensity of her glare was enough, and he knew that if he wanted to remain unharmed, he would shut up.

"We'll see," she muttered, catching the attention of the wary boy beside her, "if this cat really does have nine lives."

 

She could practically hear the alarms going off in his brain.

~*~

The night started off without a hitch.

Laughter flowed, the atmosphere was fun and easy going, and even Marinette was making light conversation without stumbling over her words.

Alya and Nino were being grossly affectionate, as usual.

Adrien watched as Marinette laughed, looking completely comfortable within the small group.

"Wow, she's adorable when she can actually talk to me."

He said to himself, feeling warm as he watched the bluenette chatter with Alya.
He smiled at the small girl, affection welling up inside him...

...Which definitely didn't slip past the two across from them.

He froze as Alya rested her elbows on the tabletop, exuding superiority and cockiness as she smirked at the two messes across the booth.
"So Adrien," she drawled, smirk ever growing as he grew red. "How's your love life? Has some tasty little thing snatched you up yet?"

 

He could feel Marinette tense beneath him, probably due to the awkwardness of the situation.

He let out a sigh, closing his eyes.

"Nope, this ally cat is pawsitivly mewnly. I've been trying to chase after one little love bug, but she just rejects me."

 

He hadn't meant for that to slip out, and he just couldn't resist the puns.

He could feel Marinette go absolutely ridged, as he cracked open his eyes to look down at her quizzically.

Then he heard it.

It was nothing more than a mutter, but boy was definitely not prepared for it.

"Are you FUCKING serious."

Ah.

The poisonous tone she was using made his not-so metaphorical hackles raise, and he was pretty sure that if he was Chat, he would've hissed at the murderous intent that was wafting off the sweet, tiny girl next to him.

 

Alya simply found it hilarious.
With her not taking it seriously, he figured he was safe.

Boy was that a mistake.

He let himself a bit of a grin, but was very quickly stopped by the daggers coming out of the bluenette's eyes.

"U-um.. Marinette...? Did I do som-"

Never had he been so quickly quieted by someone other than his father.

He swallowed nervously, fearing for his life.

"We'll see," He heard her say, "if this cat really does have nine lives."

 

 

It was at that moment, Adrien knew he fucked up.

~*~

She isn't sure how she managed to last through the rest of the night, but she did.

 

Adrien was clearly very uncomfortable, seeing as sweet, shy Marinette was gone.

In her place stood a confident, stone cold bitch, and she wasn't very happy.

 

She studied and analysed Adrien's every move, comparing the similarities to his leather clad counterpart.

 

Sweet god, how had she not noticed it before?

It was clear as day, the way he would wittily reply to teasing and jokes if he was in a bit of a mood. The cheshire grin that sometimes split his lips when he thought no one was watching.

 

But most of all, that subtle sadness that reflected in his eyes when he would let his guard down.

Okay, maybe not murder.

 

But that cat was getting what was coming to him, one way or another. Yeah, it wasn't his fault he was Chat Noir, but how dare he keep it from her?!

 

...well, maybe that isn't his fault either.

 

Actually - she realized with a bit of guilt - they would've known by now if she wasn't so self conscious.

And damn it, she was more worried now more than ever! How was she supposed to reveal herself to Adrien Agreste?! Her crush, a model, an amazing, sweet, kind, loyal boy who deserves the world?

Man, she was about 80000% fucked.

The devil looked down at her, curse him and his gentle green eyes that made her get los- no. Pull yourself together. This is not the ti-

 

Oh god.. he bit his lip.

 

Her vision blanked for a second, Adrien's cheeks swathed in black, cat ears resting atop his golden hair.

 

Her face flushed red, unsettled by how much she enjoyed the sight.

She made tentative eye contact, the fear in his eyes melting as he sees the apologetic expression on her face.

Marinette, on the verge of a panic attack, tried with all her might to throw "I'm Ladybug, and I know you're Chat Noir" into the oblivious boy's face.

All she got was a blank stare.

Damn this dense cat.

She set her head on the table, passing it off as tiredness to her concerned best friend.

She rolled her head to the side, green eyes meeting blue ones and she desperately stared at the confused blond beside her.

Bless his little heart.

 

Adrien, in his flustered stupor, gave an awkward grin and lightly pats her back. This caused Marinette to whack her forehead against the table and groan, startling the blond boy.

That's when the lights came on, and a voice took over the microphone telling all the patrons that the club is closed, and that they have to leave.

 

Alya looked pointedly at her petite friend, eyes flicking between the bluenette and the blond before settling on the former, raising her eyebrows.

 

Marinette tried to protest, but before she could choke out more than a syllable, Alya spoke up.

"SOOOOOO, NINO'S GONNA WALK ME HOME," She said as she let out a not-so-sublte cough. "YOU TWO HAVE A GOOD NIGHT!"

And then they were gone.

 

Marinette and Adrien were left standing outside the club, minds still processing what just happened.

 

The former wheeled on the boy, steeled her nerves, grabbed his arm, and sped towards her bakery.

Her parents were out on a delivery, having a very important catering job for a party Jagged Stone was hosting.

 

Adrien tried to keep up with her, wondering how in the hell those short little legs managed to power their way through the streets of Paris, littered with the occasional group of drunks.

"M-marin-nette," He gasped, his throat burning. "Wh-where are y-you t-taking me!?"

The panicked blond was terrified, thinking back on the reel of emotions he had witnessed her cycle through, not to mention she had said the name of his alternate identity not too long after he had punned about his lady.

And if the silence was any hint, like the calm before a storm, she did not take it well.
When they made it to the front of the bakery, her surprisingly strong arms pushed him inside frantically, slamming the door behind them.

Then the screaming started.

Adrien looked on in utter horror as a Marinette's composed façade shattered, leaving behind an emotional wreck of a girl. His eyes tracked the night-haired mess, unable to look away as she completely fell apart in front of him. She was overwrought and vociferous, her stuttered speech jumbling together into an indecipherable clump of words.

The blond managed a deep breath, convincing himself that he could calm her down.

"M-Marinette, listen. Whatever you think-"

This just caused her to lose it, more than she already had, if that's even possible.

"NO!YouknowwhatAdrien,I'mnotevensurprisedit'syou!You'rethesamefuckingdorkinsideandout,maskorno!Thiswould'vebeenagreatnight,Icouldactuallytalkaroundyou,Iwashaving fun, but no! It just had to stop! Alya just have to ask about your love life, and you just had to answer with puns! FUCKING PUNS!" The blue eyed embodiment of anger and frustration detoured from the route she had been pacing, and marched straight up to the petrified boy who was clutching the counter behind him for dear life.

"ABOUT ME! CHAT, I SWEAR TO GOD SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE MY LIFE IS A FUCKING T.V. SHOW BECAUSE THE SHIT WE GET AWAY WITH IS INCOMPREHENSIBLE! THIS IS THE PRECISE REASON WHY I WANTED TO KEEP OUR IDENTITIES A SECR-"

Her hands flew up to her mouth, eyes going wide with dread. She was certain that she would've fainted if it wasn't for the intense stare down that captivated the fated pair. Marinette started backing away, icy fingers of dread squeezing all warmth out of her heart as she stared at the blank look on Adrien's face.

Oh fuck.

"Oh fUCK. OH NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. SHIT. NO. I DIDN'T SAY THAT. I-I.."

Marinette felt the door handle of the entrance hit her back, making her feel all the more trapped. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes, and she started to hyperventilate.

 

She had just discovered that Adrien was Chat Noir, in perhaps, the worst way possible. And what's worse, she had just let Adrien, her partner and her crush, know that he was chasing after someone who didn't exist for three goddamm years.

 

How would he react? She could practically see him laughing at her, at how pathetic she was. How could he love a liar? Oh god, she would never see that smirk again. She would never get to hold him on top of the Effiel Tower when his dad was being extra douchey, she would never hear his lame puns again. Those fucking puns. How could-

 

Wait.

 

Hold on.

She heard it, just faintly. It brought her back to reality.

Yes, he was laughing, but it wasn't mockery. It was.. joyful? Well, yeah, but it was mostly..

 

Relieved.

 

Adrien was relieved.

 

She tilted her head up, peeking out from underneath her bangs and wiping her eyes to look at the blond across the room.

Adrien had a hand to his face, laughing openly and pushing his hair back.

God, could he stop being a model for like two seconds?

 

Marinette blinked and straightened up, getting a clear view of his lean figure. There was a slight blush to his cheeks, and his eyebrows knit together in the cutest way. And his face was..

 

Wet?

He was crying. Not sobbing, but there were tears leaking down his face, hitting the floor with a soft 'plip.. plip..'.

 

She was a bit concerned, so she mustered up the courage to call out to him.

"A.. Adrien...?"

The laughter intensified, leaving his tall form to gasp for breath.

"S-sorry m'Lady, I-I'm just so.. glad it's you."

 

Her heart fluttered, but she didn't let her hopes rise too quickly.

 

"R-really..? You- You're not mad? You don't feel betrayed...?"

This caused his laughter to die down, facing her with an expression that made that little hope inside her die.

Then she looked closer, and saw her own insecurities reflected in his eyes.

"N-no, not at all! Do.. Do you...?"

Now it was Marinette's turn to laugh, which sounded quite manic compared to the boy's twinkling chime.

"Pffft, why on earth would I be disappointed?!? It just turns out that the sweet, considerate boy that I've had a crush on since he came to school also happens to be my kick-ass, crime fighting partner who I might have been developing feelings for? Yep, big disappointment. Man, this must've been the worst possible outcome. I so wished it would be Chloe, that would've made my day!"

 

Her laughter fades off into giggles, righting herself to look at dumbfounded man across from her.

"..oh." Is all he managed to say. "So.. are we... good...?????"

Marinette thought for a moment, before speaking very carefully.

 

"Yes and no. Yes, this is like the best thing, no, I think I need to go sleep for about a half-century. Sweet God I don't think I'm ever going to fully understand what the hell just happened"

Grinning, Adrien - or Chat, now it was hard to tell the difference - sauntered his way over to his lady in waiting.

He pinned her against the door with his body, using his arms to box her in.

 

"Also.... what's this about you crushing on me?"

Marinette gave him a good-natured eye roll, before poking him in the chest.

 

"Oooh, don't get ahead of yourself there, Chaton. You'll see soon enough."

 

She stood up on her tiptoes and pecked his cheek, causing him to turn red.

 

Didn't his attitude change fast.

Smirking, the small girl reached behind her and opened the door, causing Adrien to stumble forward onto the street.

He glowered back at the woman standing next to the handle, who simply blew him a kiss.

He let out a chuckle, winking before turning and walking to his mansion.

 

Boy, would Nathalie freak if he wasn't back home before she woke up.

He could hear the faint call of "We'll need to talk in the morning, Chaton!", and acknowledged it with a wave of his hand.

 

The young woman retreated back into the warmth of the bakery, heart pounding from exhilaration, and let out a contented sigh. Humming, she clambered up the stairs and through her trap door, flopping on her bed. Tikki flew out of her purse, giggling as she pet the girl's head.

"You'll get used to it Marinette, you're a strong girl."

 

Meanwhile, the whistling boy slipped through the gates of the mansion and through his door, sitting on the edge of the bed. He chuckled happily to himself as Plagg flew out of his pocket, snickering at his lovestruck chosen.

 

"Man, it really sucks to be you."

"Does it, really?" Adrien said dreamily, a dazed grin crossing his face.

Their phones beeped. Both checked in anticipation, expecting it to be the other. They let out a tired groan when they saw it was the

Ladyblog, reporting an akuma.

Back in the mansion, the embodiment of bad luck burst out laughing.

 

"Yeah, it really does!"