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Finding You

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It all started with a wedding.


Joonmyun wasn't there to congratulate the couple getting married. He wasn't even really invited to this wedding. No, he was actually there to stop his friend from ruining the special day.


"You are exaggerating again, Kim Joonmyun. I won't ruin Minseok sunbae's wedding. I just wanted to see the person he is marrying," Jongdae argues again as they stand outside the wedding hall. Jongdae is dressed well, like he is really a guest to the event. Joonmyun didn't have the time to dress better because he rushed to join Jongdae in his cab when he realized where he was going. He thinks he stands out to much in his jeans and white shirt when everyone in the vicinity are all suit up and dressed formally.


"But you're not even invited. So you can't just barge in and take a look," Joonmyun tries to explain patiently.


He knows Jongdae will not be cruel enough to actually stop the special occasion. But Joonmyun is worried that his friend might just embarrass himself. He's simply trying to save his friend and roommate of three years here.


"I can look from a far. This is not mere curiosity, Joonmyun. It's my way of sending off the love of my life with a peaceful heart," Jongdae says, sniffing slightly.


Joonmyun feels both pity and amusement towards Jongdae. He always knew Jongdae really liked Kim Minseok. But then again, everyone in their campus liked Minseok. Even Joonmyun had nursed a slight crush for their handsome sunbae.


Minseok is two years older than them and was really popular in their college for his handsome looks and was the star play of their soccer team. It didn't hurt too that he had exemplary grades and that he was really kind and friendly to everyone. So it was only natural for everyone to like him.


Joonmyun and Jongdae both had the chance to be his acquaintance when they both volunteered to a charity event organized by the soccer team during Minseok’s last year with them. But they never went pass the exchange of first names and getting a “hi” from a far with Minseok.


A year ago, news circulated around the campus that Minseok already got engaged to his high school sweetheart. Joonmyun didn't know who it was, but he heard that his lover studied in the university located in the opposite side of town. Jongdae was heartbroken when the engagement news came out and Joonmyun should have taken a hint there and found his friend new people to date. But he dismissed Jongdae's crush as something like his -- normal and temporary. They were also both in their final year in college then so dating was their least priority. Joonmyun never thought his friend would actually want to be at the wedding.


"Okay. Okay, I'll let you go in. I can't go with you because I'm not dressed properly," Joonmyun says, letting go of his tight hold on Jongdae's arm. "But please promise me you won't make a scene and embarrass the couple and yourself."


"Like I said, you are exaggerating. I won't do that," Jongdae replies. "Besides, Minseok sunbae gave me beautiful memories the past years. I don't want to repay him with terrible ones."


Joonmyun watches from the side as Jongdae quietly slips in to the ceremony hall. He was so focused on his friend he didn't notice that someone was watching them.


"Did you just let a disgruntled ex into the wedding hall?" a boy in a black suit says from behind.


Joonmyun was surprised, because the handsome stranger was smiling at him.


"No. No, he's not an ex. He's just... I don't know how to explain it. But he won't make any disturbance," he explains. “My friend is a respectable engineer, he won’t do anything harsh.”


"Oh okay. I just kind of overheard your conversation and assumed that. Are you an engineer too?”


“Ah, no. I’m actually a teacher. Kinda decent too so I can vouch for my friend.”


The stranger laughs at Joonmyun and he feels his cheeks blush.


“But he's here for Minseok right? Not Luhan?" the guy asks again.


"Ah yes. Minseok is our sunbae and well, I know this sounds completely lame but Jongdae has a huge crush on him. He just wanted to see... Luhan is the person Minseok is marrying right?"


"Yes, his name is Luhan. I'm actually his guest here. Luhan's a friend of mine."


"Ooh! I hope you won't tattle on my friend. I promise he won't do anything harsh," Joonmyun says, slightly panicking. Though he is still not 100 percent sure that Jongdae won’t really do anything disruptive. He knows how much of a drama queen his friend can be.


"No it's okay. I won't say anything. I guess Minseok has his own little fanclub in his school too," the guy says, slightly laughing.


Joonmyun raised his eyebrow to ask what he meant.


"In our college, Luhan's really popular and many hoobaes followed him around but he always friendzoned them. Some ended up being good friends with him and we call them Luhan's fanclub," he explains. "Some of them actually became good friends with him later on. I can introduce them to you later if you want."


"No that's okay. We won't be staying until the end anyway. I hope. We're not really that close with Minseok sunbae anyway. I’m just going to wait for Jongdae here and when the ceremony ends, we’ll be leaving quietly.”


“You won’t go in? Don’t you want to see the wedding for yourself?”


“Ahh. I’m not dressed right for the event,” Joonmyun says, trying to hide the fact that he really wants to see the wedding too. He’s both curious of what Luhan looks like and he wants to see Minseok again.

The other boy pouts his lips a bit, before removing his coat.


“Put this on then,” he said, pushing his coat to Joonmyun.


“What? No. No. It’s okay. I don’t want to impose on you,” Joonmyun says, refusing.


“It’s not imposing if I’m offering. If you wear this, both of us can get in. I’m sure Luhan and Minseok won’t mind if there are more people congratulating them on their wedding day,” the boy says, smiling brightly at him. “Besides, you can look after your friend better if you’re inside.”


The boy had a point. And when he forced the coat on him, leaning close to Joonmyun’s space to make him wear it, he wasn’t able to refuse any further.



The wedding ceremony was beautiful and ended on a blissful note.


Baekhyun, the handsome stranger he met outside the hall, helped him find Jongdae through the crowd and stayed with them throughout the ceremony at the back of the wedding hall. Baekhyun shared a few stories about Minseok and Luhan which, to Joonmyun’s relief, actually comforted Jongdae.


Apparently, he and Luhan were roommates briefly in college so Baekhyun had met Minseok a few times already. He points at some of their friends who are seated in front, introducing some as Luhan’s fans, but Joonmyun forgets their names and faces as soon as Baekhyun says them.


Minseok looked as gorgeous as Joonmyun remembers and Luhan – was definitely radiant and beautiful.


“I’ll pass on the compliment,” Baekhyun says when Joonmyun accidentally voiced his thoughts a bit loudly.


After the ceremony, Baekhyun urged them to at least say hi to the newlyweds.


“I think we’ve overstayed already here. Let me just go to the bathroom then we can leave?” Jongdae asks Joonmyun.


Joonmyun nods and says, “Okay, I’ll wait for you by the hallway.”


Outside the wedding hall, Joonmyun returns Baekhyun’s coat to him. “Thank you, for the coat and for accompanying us. Please give our warm congratulations to Minseok and Luhan, though I’m not sure if sunbae will remember us,” he says.


“Do you think your friend liking my friend’s husband will post any conflict for the possibilities of us?” Baekhyun asks, locking Joonmyun’s gaze into his.


Joonmyun raised his eyebrow and stutters, “What do you mean?”


Baekhyun laughs, scrunches his nose, and says “Nothing. I mean, do you think we can be friends too? I’d like to keep in touch with you, Joonmyun.”


Seeing nothing wrong with that, Joonmyun nods and exchange numbers with him. When Jongdae returned, they both say their goodbyes to Baekhyun and head home.



As soon as they reached their shared apartment, Joonmyun receives a message from Baekhyun.


“Baekhyun says Minseok remembers us and he’s thankful for our presence in their special day,” Joonmyun tells Jongdae.


“Oh so you did exchange number with Baekhyun. I was just wondering about that,” Jongdae says, smiling naughtily.


“Well yeah, he asked if we can be friends so we exchanged number,” Joonmyun says.


“You know, I always knew weddings were the perfect place to meet gorgeous, single people. But I didn’t think you’d actually snag a handsome boy in Minseok sunbae’s wedding,” Jongdae says, laughing.


“Okay. Stop it there. I know what you’re thinking now and that’s not it Kim Jongdae,” he replies.


Jongdae laughs harder. “Hey! There’s nothing wrong with potential boyfriends. He was really cute and seemed interested in you. I can overlook the fact that he is Minseok’s husband’s friend just for you.”


“Baekhyun was just being nice and friendly okay? And as if I need your permission for whomever I date.”


“Oh so you want to date him?” Jongdae asks, smirking. “And yes, you need my permission because I’m not just your friend, I am your roommate. If I don’t like the person you are dating, he can’t step in this apartment. But don’t worry, Baekhyun gets a pass.”


“We’re getting ahead of ourselves here. We just met today and he just sent me one message. There’s nothing to pass.”


“But you have to admit he looks cute. That Luhan guy is cute too. But Minseok is still the cutest right?” Jongdae asks, suddenly looking solemn.


Joonmyun looks at his friend. “You’ll be okay?”


“Yes, don’t worry about me. I know I’m being too much of a drama queen but he was just a special person I admired for too long and I guess I just wanted to see that he’s really happy,” Jongdae explains.


Joonmyun pulls his friend to a brief hug. “I’m sorry I didn’t take your feelings seriously. I thought it was just a shallow crush like mine. I just realized now that you really liked him a lot.”


“Anyway, it’s done now. Seeing him happy, maybe it’s time for us to start dating too?”


Joonmyun slowly disentangles from his friend. He stares at Jongdae for a long time that the other boy ends up raising his eyebrow and getting confused.


“I’m sorry Jongdae. I really love you, but only as a friend,” Joonmyun says slowly.


This made Jongdae laugh so hard. “I didn’t mean for us to start dating each other. I meant we should start looking for people to date. I’m sorry Joonmyun but I’m not attracted to you like that too.”


“Oh!” Joonmyun says, laughing with him too.


“I think that Baekhyun dude has claimed ownership over you already, anyway.”


Joonmyun blushes, remembering the handsome boy with captivating smile he met today.


“Reply to his message now,” Jongdae says. “And maybe the next wedding I’ll attend will be yours.”




Joonmyun is not the most exciting person in the world. His ideas of Saturday night outs are either watching movies with his equally boring friends or biking around the Han River. Even Jongdae, his most exciting friend, would usually pick staying in and playing video games over drinking in clubs.


So when Baekhyun invited him to go out one weekend, Joonmyun almost declined. Almost being the keyword here because when he received Baekhyun’s message, Jongdae was actually holding his phone and insisted that he must say yes.


They have been exchanging messages for two weeks now but it’s the first time Baekhyun invited him out.


“You’ve been holing up in your room for a straight week already. You should go out and have fun with your young beau,” Jongdae teases.


During their early conversations, Joonmyun found out that Baekhyun is actually younger than him and was still in his last year in university as a film major. Jongdae likes reminding him how lucky he is to hook up with a cute and young one, though there are only two years of age gap between them.


“I don’t know if hanging out with Baekhyun is a good idea,” he says.


“Why? You think he’d find you boring and won’t like you that much anymore?”


Joonmyun sighs. “Honestly, yes,” he admits.


Jongdae straightens up from his position on the couch. “Hey, I was just joking. You’re not boring. And Baekhyun likes you enough already. If he gets to know you more, I’m sure he’ll like you more,” he says. “Besides, if you’re boring, I won’t be hanging out with you.”


Joonmyun pouts and shakes his head. “I don’t know. Baekhyun seems like a really exciting and cool person. He’s a film major – I mean only cool people get to make a career out of their art.”


“I don’t like this hint of insecurity I am getting from you. This is so unlike you. Come on, ‘fess up. What’s the real deal, Kim Joonmyun?”


Joonmyun sighs. His friend knows him too much. “I’ve just been out of the dating scene for too long. The last guy I dated dumped me because he got bored over how monotonous I can be. Exchanging messages with Baekhyun is fine because we are still getting to know each other. There are still many topics to talk about. But hanging out with just the two of us? I don’t have the confidence to do that.”


“Haven’t I told you a thousand times that it wasn’t your fault the last guy was actually a jerk? Also, you’re being unfair to Baekhyun here by preempting your possibilities with him. At least try? If it doesn’t work out then you can be friends or whatever. But go out with him at least once.”






Joonmyun has heard of pojangmachas from people at work but never had the chance to try them before. When Baekhyun invited him to go out, he didn’t think he’d be inviting him to this kind of place.


“This is actually a good place to get to know each other better,” Baekhyun says, smiling so hard his eyes are disappearing.


Joonmyun doesn’t drink much but he’s curious so he went on with Baekhyun’s suggestion.


The makeshift orange tent looks humble but warm. There are six tables inside but only two are occupied now.


Baekhyun ushered him to a table before going straight to the ahjumma in the improvised kitchen.


“Can you eat spicy food?” he asks.


Joonmyun nods.


Baekhyun comes back to their table with two bottles of soju, a plate of deokbokki and a plate of chicken feet. The last time Joonmyun ate these food was still back in college, years ago.


“You look like you’re a heavy drinker” he says as Baekhyun expertly pours each of them a drink.


Baekhyun laughs hard, almost spills the soju.


“I can hear the judgment in your tone,” he says.


“No, it’s not like that. I’m just really a lightweight. You look like someone who handles his alcohol well,” Joonmyun answers.


This time, Baekhyun wasn’t able to stop himself from spilling the alcohol.


“You don’t drink? You should have told me sooner,” the younger man replies while wiping the spilled alcohol. He made a small tsk sound over the wet substance. “Maybe I should’ve considered that too because you look too pure to be given a glass of soju.”


“I take that as a compliment then,” Joonmyun says with a laugh. He began helping Baekhyun wiping the alcohol. “I drink but very seldom only. And I can’t drink a lot. Maybe I can handle the soju. We’ll find out tonight.”


“A handsome Literature teacher who is a lightweight in drinking – I think I hit jackpot tonight,” Baekhyun says.


Joonmyun chokes from Baekhyun’s straightforward compliments. He felt his cheeks blush. He doesn’t know if it’s because of the shot of soju he just took or because Baekhyun called him handsome.


Baekhyun laughs at his reaction.


“What? Did I come off too strong? I thought you were really handsome the minute I saw you,” Baekhyun says, filling his shot glass with soju and taking his a shot. “You looked adorably lost too, trying to change Jongdae’s mind.”


“Thanks, I guess. You don’t look bad yourself,” Joonmyun says.


“So, why did you take up filming?” he then asks, trying to change the topic.


“Because I have too many stories I want to tell but I suck at writing. I am a more visually-inclined person,” Baekhyun says, laughing. “These are the reasons I used to tell my professors back in my first year in college. Right now, to be really honest, I can’t remember anymore why I decided to pursue film making.”


“What do you mean? You fell out of love with your art?”


Baekhyun laughs. “That is so poetic. I really love the way you talk. It’s like when you’re describing things, I feel like I’m inside a novel or something.”


“I really don’t know if you’re praising me now or insulting me,” Joonmyun answers.


“It’s a praise,” Baekhyun says. “Also, no I haven’t fallen out of love yet. I just… I think I’m going through creative burnout and don’t know where to take my art next.”


“Hmm… I’m not a very artistic person myself. I appreciate art, especially literature, but I can’t produce one,” Joonmyun begins, watching the younger boy eat. “But I have creative friends like Jongdae and Jongin. They’re professional engineer and architect now but whenever they get that creative block, I’d often find them watching animes at home for hours. They say it helps them get back on track and reminds them of their original love? Maybe you should just find that again?”


“Well, the real reason I wanted to make films is because I am curious of how people react on different things. I file many different scenarios and characters in my mind and try to create a story between all of them because I want to know how the audience will react to them given a different, alternate setting,” Baekhyun says.


“That’s really interesting. It’s nice how your curiosity has turned into your art and passion,” Joonmyun says.


“I’m really curious about you too, Joonmyun. I thought I had you all figured out but somehow I feel I’m wrong too,” he says.


“I don’t even know why you’re trying to analyze me when we’ve only known each other for more than two weeks. Also, humans are complicated and complex beings. You can’t define me when you barely know anything about me,” Joonmyun says.


“You’re right. But at least I know the basic like you’re full name and age and your job. I’m crossing my fingers that I’d get to know you better through the course of our friendship,” Baekhyun says, smiling brightly.


“Are you always this friendly?” Joonmyun asks.


Baekhyun pouts a bit, thinking. “I am friendly. But it’s not mere friendliness that made me approach you. I really like you.”


Joonmyun wants to laugh but the younger boy seems serious. He’s never been in this kind of situation before so he’s not sure how to receive flattery.


“You’re probably used to people flirting with you and calling you handsome,” Baekhyun says.


“Not really. No one compliments me like you do so I feel awkward about it,” Joonmyun answers honestly.


Baekhyun stares at him, like he doesn’t believe his words. When he realized Joonmyun’s not joking, he thought of an idea.


“You know what helps people get over the awkward stage and be closer to each other? Alcohol,” he says, as he orders two more soju bottles.


“I don’t want to get drunk” Joonmyun says, shaking his head.


“Come on now, I’m not getting you wasted drunk. Just to loosen up so we can talk freely. Aren’t you interested about my life?”


Joonmyun would be lying if he said no. Because the truth is, he’s really curious about the younger boy in front of him too.


“We have a new rule now. One question, one drink,” Baekhyun says as he pours them both another drink.


Joonmyun drinks before saying, “You’re not playing fair.”


They talked more about mundane topics and drank more soju. He finds out that, apart from making films, Baekhyun loves singing too and was even part of a band before.


“That’s how we met Luhan. He and some of our friends are in a band together.”


Joonmyun asks him what it feels like to perform in front of a crowd and Baekhyun tells him he actually prefers being in the audience or behind the scene.


Baekhyun goes on to talk about his friends, his family, and his hobbies. Joonmyun can’t help but be captivated by the young boy’s enthusiastic way of telling stories. In return, Joonmyun talks a little about his life too – mostly his work, his friends, and his hobbies too. He told Baekhyun how he and Jongdae first met Minseok during their freshmen orientation.


At one point, Baekhyun asked him if someone like Minseok was his ideal guy.


“I don’t really have that ideal guy. With Minseok sunbae, it was like liking a celebrity. He has many commendable qualities and I just admired that. I think my ideal partner is just someone is patient and appreciates me?” he says.


“I think you deserve more than that,” Baekhyun says quietly.


Soon they had two bottles each and both on their third one. Joonmyun can’t help but admit that he’s enjoying talking to Baekhyun. He’s witty and he listens well to Joonmyun’s stories.


“I am a boring person right?” he asks randomly.


“I don’t think so. I think you’re really interesting,” Baekhyun answers. “Though we do have different hobbies, I don’t think boring is the right word to describe you.”


“I’d like to believe I’m actually a passion-driven, adventurous guy. But just two nights ago my boss told me that I’m the safest person he knows that’s why he thinks I’m the best employee.”


“We make an interesting pair in this table then?” Baekhyun says with a laugh. “Does it overwhelm you sometimes?”


“One drink, one question,” Joonmyun answers, pointing to the other guy’s shot glass.


Baekhyun pouts before drinking again. Joonmyun thinks for a while before answering. “I do. But then again, I’ve learned to live this way already. It’s difficult to change it.”



Baekhyun stares at the handsome man in front of him dozing off and feels his heart race. He takes note of Joonmyun’s beautiful face and tries to memorize all his perfect features – from the kissable pink lips to the gorgeous eyelashes. Even Joonmyun’s forehead is really pretty and that is just unfair.


Joonmyun makes a little sound and Baekhyun thinks it’s really cute. His thoughts were disturbed when he received a message from his roommate informing him that he’s crashing in a friend’s apartment for the night.


Seeing that it’s past 1 a.m. already, Baekhyun realized they better head home too.


“Hey Joonmyun, wake up. We need to go home now,” Baekhyun says while poking the older guy’s cheek. But Joonmyun only huffed and refused to wake up. He tried again and again but Joonmyun didn’t budge. Not knowing what to do because Baekhyun has no idea where Joonmyun lives, he decides to just take him back to their apartment.


“Tsk tsk. You should never drink with strangers Mr. Kim. Such a delicate person like you,” Baekhyun says later as he tucks Joonmyun on their couch.



The first thing Joonmyun realized when he woke up is that he has a throbbing headache. It took a few seconds before he remembers that he drank last night so he probably has a hangover. The next thing he realized is that he’s not in his apartment and not on his bed. He slept on a sofa with a fluffy pillow and a bright red blanket and he’s still wearing the clothes from last night. He can only guess this is Baekhyun’s house because he was the last person he was with as far as he can remember. Unless Baekhyun left when he got too wasted and another stranger picked him up.


The thought made him panic so he slowly began to sit up. There’s sunlight from the window already and he really needs to get home soon.


“Oh, you’re awake already,” a deep voice suddenly spoke up.


Joonmyun was surprised when he saw a very tall, half naked guy seated in the dining table across the sofa. He looks fresh from the shower. And he doesn’t look anyone Joonmyun knows too. Maybe he was really picked up by a random stranger when he was out drunk.


Joonmyun hastily bowed. “I’m sorry for disturbing you,” he says before rushing to the door.


“Hey! Don’t go! You might want to say goodbye to Baekhyun first before you leave,” the other guy shouts, stopping Joonmyun from turning the doorknob and successfully running away.


“You know Baekhyun? He’s here?” Joonmyun asks, his eyes getting bigger.


“Yeah, you’re his guest right? He’s still sleeping in his room right now but you can wake him up. I’m sure he’d be more furious if you left without saying goodbye. Even one night stands don’t leave without eating breakfast,” the taller, still half-naked guy, says with a laugh.


Joonmyun chokes. “I’m… We… I’m not a one night stand.”


“I know. You’re fully clothed and you slept on the couch,” the guy says, laughing louder.


Just then, the door to what he presumes is Baekhyun’s bedroom opened.


“Yah Park Chanyeol why do you have to be so noisy in the morning!” Baekhyun grumpily shouts as he rubs his eyes. Joonmyun thinks it’s cute, especially when he’s wearing a pajama printed with bears and rabbits.


“Oh Joonmyun! You’re awake too. This is Chanyeol, my best friend,” he says, grinning at him before glancing at the taller boy.


His jaw dropped when he saw Chanyeol properly and shouted “Yah! Why are you naked! You beast! Put on some clothes!”


Chanyeol laughed harder and said “okay,” “okay,” before moving to his own bedroom.


Joonmyun was shocked from all the events that happened so he remained rooted on his spot near the door. Baekhyun dragged him to the dining table and made him sit in one of the two chairs.


“I’m guessing you have a hangover and still feeling sleepy like me so I’ll fix us both some coffee,” he says.


Joonmyun’s head still throbs but honestly, sleep is the last thing on his mind right now.




Joonmyun would usually spend his Friday nights finishing grading the papers of his students or preparing lessons for the next week. It doesn’t matter if he has to sleep later than usual; he does this because he liked having free weekends to himself.


Except this Friday, Joonmyun had to leave his work because Baekhyun said he needed to meet him before 7 p.m. in front of the younger boy’s university. The text message was a bit frantic, like a bad thing will happen if Joonmyun didn’t show up.


So Joonmyun went straight to the place Baekhyun gave him in his work clothes. It feels uncomfortable to be out in a busy university area while still wearing his black slacks and dark blue polo shirt.


Joonmyun was worried what Baekhyun’s emergency invitation was for. What he didn’t expect to be dragged to a concert.


And he made sure Baekhyun knew his shock. “I can’t believe you are dragging me into a rock concert for university students, Baekhyun. I’d stand out like a sore thumb in the crowd. Like an old professor trying to be young,” Joonmyun says, close to whining.


“Hush hyung, you’re being overdramatic. You don’t even look old. You look like my age! And damn what I would give to have a hot professor like you,” Baekhyun says mischievously.


“Besides, this concert is open for all. You said you never experienced going to concerts like this when you went to college. So I’m making you experience it now. I just forgot to tell you sooner so I had to rush my invite this afternoon.”


Joonmyun blushes from both Baekhyun’s compliments and because he was touched by home much Baekhyun pays attention to all his stories.


But he shakes his head and continued to protest, “I’m not even dressed right for this,” Joonmyun says, gesturing to his work clothes.


Baekhyun pouts as he looks at him from head to toe. “Well I’m always ready for your wardrobe issues,” he says as he pulls out an old university jacket from his bag. “Good thing I carry an extra jacket because it’s getting more chilly these days,” he says, handing the jacket to Joonmyun.


Joonmyun raises his eyebrow in question.


“Come on, just wear this over your polo. No one will look at your black expensive slacks and black expensive shoes anymore at the concert grounds. You’ll probably feel more comfortable and one with the “university spirit” if you wear my old college jacket,” Baekhyun says, forcing the piece of clothing to Joonmyun.


Joonmyun sighs. If there’s one thing he learned from the day he met Baekhyun, it is that he’ll never win against him.


He wears Baekhyun’s jacket and he has to admit, it fits just right. Somehow he felt young again.


Baekhyun drags him all the way to the school field that was converted to a concert ground. There was a band playing already but the crowd wasn’t big yet.


Baekhyun introduced him to his friends who were already waiting for them. Among them was Kim Minseok.


“Oh! Joonmyun! It’s good to see you again,” he says, reaching out to shake his hands. “I heard you went to my wedding. You should’ve greeted us personally. But thank you for being there,” he adds, his gummy smile making Joonmyun’s heart race. He thinks he’ll never get over how adorable Minseok looks like.


He managed to squeal a “hello sunbae,” before he heard Baekhyun cough from his side. “That’s okay hyung, I took care of him well.”


“I can see that Baekhyun,” Minseok says. “And Joonmyun, no need to call me sunbae anymore. You can just call me hyung as well like these kids here.”


Baekhyun then introduced Sehun and Tao next. “These kids here two years younger than me and both are members of Luhan’s fanclub,” he says.


“Oh come on Baekhyun hyung, when will you let that go,” Sehun says with a pout.


“Don’t worry Hunnie, Joonmyun here and his best friend Jongdae are part of Minseok’s fanclub,” Baekhyun says.


“Hey!” Joonmyun involuntarily shouts, making the others laugh.


“Next time you should bring Jongdae with you,” Minseok says.


Joonmyun nods. It would be a good idea to bring Jongdae next time. Maybe even Jongin and Kyungsoo too since they share the same ages of Sehun and Tao. It feels a bit weird having Joonmyun’s life weave in Baekhyun’s. But as he watches the younger boy under the dancing colorful light, and seeing Baekhyun smile at him, Joonmyun thinks it’s a good change to his monotonous life. He likes having Baekhyun beside him. He wants to be here, feeling his heart race like this because of him.



Soon they were jamming together to the bands and Joonmyun has to admit, he’s having one of the best nights of his life.


“They’re up next,” he hears Minseok say when the last band began setting up. Joonmyun doesn’t know them but they are the main act so the crowd is more excited.


“Our friends are up,” Baekhyun whispers to him. Joonmyun follows Baekhyun’s line of sight and saw Luhan and Chanyeol among the crowd of five setting up.


“Luhan and Chanyeol are in the band?” he asks.


“Yes. I told you that’s how I met Luhan right? Luhan and Yixing, the one on the piano, have been best friends since they were young. Yixing and Chanyeol are both music majors and met in class. They decided to make a band with Kris, that tall guy on the guitar. Luhan and I used to alter as their vocalist but I gave up on it when my classes got hectic.”


Joonmyun nods. The band began with a simple introduction, to which the crowd replied with a roar.


“I told you Luhan is popular here,” Baekhyun says.


“You should see Minseok’s popularity in our school,” Joonmyun replies cheekily. They both laughed, prompting the rest to look at them.


Soon the band began playing and Joonmyun drowns in the sound of good music and Baekhyun’s laughter.




Unconsciously, Joonmyun found himself looking forward to seeing the Baekhyun again. Jongdae would often tease him about it, asking how it feels to be dating someone younger than him.


Joonmyun repeats again and again that they are not dating but Jongdae only laughs at him, saying that he pities Baekhyun because Joonmyun can’t take a hint.


But Joonmyun can take a hint. He assumes Baekhyun definitely likes him and he knows he’s falling for the younger boy too. But the last time he assumed too much, he just got his heart broken. Since, no one has made the move to make anything official yet so he’s just enjoying it as he goes.


So when Baekhyun invited him out for coffee one Sunday afternoon, he readily agreed.


They met in a café near Baekhyun’s university. When Joonmyun arrived, Baekhyun was already seated near the glass window and busy doing something on his laptop.


“Hey,” he says, tapping the younger boy.


“Hey! You made it!” Baekhyun exclaims. He fixes his things on the table and closes his laptop.


“No it’s okay. Don’t move your things. What are you working on?” Joonmyun asks. He sits infront of Baekhyun and notices that the boy has a drink already.


“I was working on the videos we shot for a class project. I’m in a bit of a rush because it was just supposed to be a school requirement but our professor decided to enter it in the Seoul Independent Film Festival and deadline is next month,” the younger boy answers with a smile.


“Oh that’s great. Then continue with your work while you are still on a roll,” Joonmyun suggests.


“No, it’s okay. I think I need a break too. I haven’t fully recovered from my creative burnout yet. All the videos I shot looked dull to me. What do you want to drink?” Baekhyun asks.


“I can order for myself,” Joonmyun says with a smile.


“Okay. But I suggest you order the strawberry cheesecake. I remember you told me that’s your favorite right? This café has the best strawberry cheesecake I’ve ever had. I wanted you to taste it,” Baekhyun says.


Joonmyun can’t help the smile etching on his lips. “You invited me here because the strawberry cheesecake is the best in this café?”


“Well, yeah? For shared experience? Because I know you like it. I debated whether I should just send a slice to your workplace but I don’t know where you work exactly. And besides, it’s nice to see you too.”


Joonmyun feels touched. They’ve known each other for almost two months now but Baekhyun still keeps making his heart flutter.


He orders a two slices of cheesecake and green tea latte for himself.


They eat it together and Baekhyun is right, the cake is one of the best strawberry cheesecakes he has ever tasted.


“Did you like it?” Baekhyun asks, his face looking uncertain.


Joonmyun puts a thumb up and says “It’s really delicious.”


Baekhyun squeals a bit and clapped. Joonmyun thinks everything Baekhyun does is refreshing and cute.


They talk about their day and what they are currently busy with, topics they talk about in chats and text messages too. Baekhyun tells him about Chanyeol’s quest to Yixing’s heart, about how his mother nags him about his sleeping habits, about how he wants to introduce Sehun to Jongdae.


In return, he talks a bit about his work to the younger boy and though he knows his days are more boring compared to Baekhyun’s, he appreciates how attentive Baekhyun is to his stories.


“Do you see that guy wearing a blue jacket and a cap across the street? The one with the black backpack” Baekhyun asks, pointing with subtlety outside the glass window. Joonmyun looks outside and nods when spots the person Baekhyun just described.


“I’m guessing he’s debating whether to go in here or not. He wants to see the cute barista inside but he’s broke so he’s contemplating hard,” Baekhyun says.


Joonmyun raises his eyebrow. All he sees is a boy standing next to the bus stop.


“Why do you think so?” he asks.


“Look closely, he’s glancing every 10 seconds here. His right hand is in his pocket, probably contemplating if his allowance is still enough.”


Joonmyun directed his attention to the points Baekhyun pointed out. But even then, he cannot arrive on the same way conclusion as his.


“It would be a good scene if he really walks in here, quietly goes straight to the cashier to buy the cheapest coffee and when the barista hands it to him, he’ll say he’s going broke already over coffee he doesn’t even drink and that the barista should just go out with him,” he says.


They continue to watch the boy and after a few minutes he did cross the street and enters the café. Joonmyun raises his eyebrow and Baekhyun gives him a naughty smile.


The boy goes straight to the cashier and later moves to the side of the barista who hands him a small cup of iced Americano. The boy hesitates before taking it, staring at the barista first for a long time.


“Is there anything wrong sir?” the barista asks. Joonmyun thinks the barista looked really pretty.


The boy simply looks at her, shakes his head, and then takes the coffee. He walks away as quietly as he arrived.


“How did you know that?” Joonmyun asks Baekhyun, still shocked by the accuracy of his guess.


Baekhyun laughs before turning his head to the door and shouting, “Hey Taemin! Lee Taemin!”


The boy looks at their table, his face surprised when he saw them.


“Baekhyun! What are you doing here?” he says in hushed tone when he arrived at their table.


“I wanted to eat the cheesecake you bought for me last week. Why? Am I not allowed to go here?” he answers mischievously.


“Fine. But don’t talk to Seulgi okay? I’m scared you’d blab all my secrets to her if you even say a word to her,” Taemin says with a pout.


Baekhyun makes a fake shocked face. “I’m hurt by your accusations. I won’t ruin your potential love story with the cute barista, don’t worry. I’m rooting for you.”


Sehun sighs. Then he looks at Joonmyun who was still silent.


“Who’s your date?”


Baekhyun laughs so loud the whole café looks at their direction.


“What a joker you really are, Taeminie. This is my friend, Joonmyun. Joonmyun, this is Taemin. He’s my classmate. No one significant, really.”


“Hi! I’m Taemin. I share a few classes with Baekhyun, unfortunately. He talks too much and I ended being a victim,” Taemin says.


Joonmyun laughs. “I’m Kim Joonmyun. I shared a few drinks with Baekhyun and yes he talks a lot so we ended up being friends too,” he says as he shakes his hand.


“Okay, we’re through judging Baekhyun’s talking habits now,” Baekhyun interrupts, pouting.


“Nice meeting you Joonmyun…hyung? I should call you hyung too right?”


“Anything will be fine by me. Baekhyun doesn’t even call me hyung,” Joonmyun says, feeling warm for meeting another of Baekhyun’s friends.


"I refuse to call you hyung," Baekhyun says. "You look so young we can pass the same age," he insists.


“I have to leave now though. I promised my mom I’d help her with the store,” Taemin says, shuffling his backpack.


“Why don’t you just leave your drink with me? You don’t even like coffee. I don’t even know why you buy that when there are other options on the menu,” Baekhyun says.


“Well because it’s the cheapest drink. If I buy the nicer drinks, I’d have fewer chances to go here and see her. And I can’t just leave it with you. What if Seulgi sees and thinks I don’t like the drink she made?” Taemin whines.


“What if Seulgi sees…” Baekhyun copies Taemin. “What if you just ask her out then everything will be okay and you can spend your money on dates rather than buying coffees like this.”


Taemin steals a glance at Jongin who was busy doing his job. “Maybe next time. I need to gather more confidence first,” he says, before waving good bye to both of them.


After Taemin left, Joonmyun frowns at Baekhyun and says, “You cheated in the guessing game. You actually know him.”


Baekhyun laughs. “Yeah, but I still failed in predicting what he’s going to do. Today was not the day he would confess,” he says.


“So is that what you do during your spare time? Watch people? You simply guess what their story is and what will their next actions be?” Joonmyun asks curiously.


“I just make guesses based on how they act or look like the minute I see them. It’s fun to make stories and potential scenes too, that’s why I took up film making,” Baekhyun explains.


Joonmyun nods. Baekhyun continued to pick random people, this time real strangers to him, and make interesting stories about them. Joonmyun found himself enjoying listening to Baekhyun’s imaginative mind not only because he’s creative but also because his guesses always carry a hint of hopefulness and positivity.


It’s a refreshing trait to Joonmyun who lived his life a bit unenthusiastically. Joonmyun thinks it’s a good feeling to have this kind optimism around him in the form of Byun Baekhyun.


Joonmyun nods. “How about me? Have you figured out my story?” he asks, randomly.


Baekhyun shakes his head and laughs. He says something but Joonmyun wasn’t able to catch it so he asked again.


“What did you say?”


“I said I’m not trying to guess your story anymore. I want to know your full story and I want you to tell it to me willingly,” Baekhyun says, laughing.




Jongdae is convinced that his best friend is no longer single. He keeps pestering Joonmyun about it but Joonmyun doesn’t really have a definitive answer.


“Then I suggest you make it more official soon. You two can’t keep dancing around each other like this. Baekhyun made the first move of approaching you so maybe it’s time for you to do your part,” Jongdae says.


“Why is our status so important to you?” Joonmyun says.


“Because I don’t want you to lose what makes you happy just because you’re afraid to take the next step,” Jongdae says, in a solemn tone Joonmyun rarely hears. “Also, I’m vicariously dating through you so I need you to man up,” he adds, back with his cheeky tone.


Despite the amount of trolling Jongdae does, Joonmyun knows his friend sincerely cares for him. And he knows he is right too, he just doesn’t know how to do it.


So when Baekhyun asked him to go on a trip with him, Joonmyun thinks it’s the perfect opportunity to have that talk.


“I was thinking of visiting Suncheon this weekend. Do you want to come with me?” Baekhyun asks.


Joonmyun notes the hesitant tone of Baekhyun’s voice and the slight blush on his cheeks. A weekend outside Seoul sounds nice and despite Joonmyun’s busy schedule at work and personal errands to complete, he says yes.


And that’s how he found himself in Baekhyun’s car at the early dawn of Saturday. Baekhyun looked hyper and excited despite the ungodly hour he picked Joonmyun up from his apartment.


“Are you excited?” Baekhyun asks when the car began to move.


“I am. I definitely need time to relax like this,” he replies. “Why did you want to go to Suncheon?”


“Remember that film I’m making? It lacks aesthetic value. I remember your advice to me about your friends watching animes to get their creative touch back and I thought seeing beautiful, memorable places to me might help me get that boost back.”


“Are you sure it’s okay for me to tag along?” Joonmyun asks.


“Of course Joonmyun,” he replies. “Suncheon is really pretty during autumn season and I want you to see it. You will love it.”



Baekhyun, of course, never disappoints. The rich fall foliage of Suncheon welcomes them and Joonmyun thinks he made the right decision to come here.


“You’ve been here before?” he asks Baekhyun.


“I’ve visited the place twice before,” the younger boy answers.


“Oh, so what made you want to visit here again?”


“The whole feel of Suncheon is perfect for the film I’m working on,” Baekhyun explains.


“Well, you’re right. Suncheon is beautiful during autumn. Just being here relaxes me.”


“I’m really glad you came with me here,” Baekhyun says as he reached out to hold Joonmyun’s hand. It’s their first physical contact and Joonmyun was surprised.


“I think this is the perfect place to confess to you too and win your heart completely,” Baekhyun says, a hint of mischief in his voice. But Joonmyun knows he’s only trying to hide his nervous feeling. Baekhyun always tells him he’s serious when he says he likes Joonmyun.


Junmyeon laughs and squeezes his hand back.


“Jongdae thinks it’s about time to make a move and make things official with you too,” he says.


Baekhyun raises his eyebrow. “I didn’t know Jongdae was so concern about me,” he says.


“He says he’s dating vicariously through us,” Joonmyun says.


Baekhyun laughs and says, “I really need to introduce him to Sehun sooner.”


They spent the rest of the day walking around, eating in restaurants Baekhyun recommends. They kept holding hands and Joonmyun had never felt happier.


Sometimes, Baekhyun would whip out the camera he brought and film the places he sees.


“So what’s the story about? This film you are making,” Junmyeon asks.


“It’s about a boy chasing a lost boy. That’s the best summary I can give you. You need to watch the final output of the film to know the story,” Baekhyun says with a wink.




Baekhyun and Joonmyun were both not ready for the rain that came that evening. By the time they’ve made it back to their hostel, they were both soaking wet already.


Baekhyun made Joonmyun take a bath first. After his bath, Joonmyun settled on his bed. Though they rented a room with two beds, Joonmyun can’t still shake the butterflies in his stomach. He’s sharing a room with Baekhyun – a gorgeous, sweet, amazing boy who potentially really likes him.


Baekhyun went out of the bathroom only wearing a loose white shirt and boxer shorts. Joonmyun has never seen any sight more captivating than this.


He gulped and Baekhyun must’ve noticed his nervous feeling. “Are you okay?” he asks.


“You’re just so beautiful,” Joonmyun confesses, loudly. Baekhyun laughs and slowly approached him on his bed.


Joonmyun stiffens as Baekhyun kissed him. His brain blacks out as he felt Baekhyun’s cool lips touched his. Baekhyun smells like lilac and strawberry – Joonmyun’s favorite. It was a brief kiss, before Baekhyun pulls away to look him and Joonmyun was sure he was blushing. Baekhyun smiles his signature, naughty smile before he kissed him again, urging him to meet him.


It was a kiss that was very difficult to resist and even Joonmyun’s willpower cannot defeat Baekhyun’s seduction.


Baekhyun’s tongue slides in Joonmyun’s lips, tasting him completely. His hands combs through Joonmyun’s hair, slowly massaging his scalp and completely taking control. Joonmyun surrenders to Baekhyun’s kisses, letting his body relax on the couch and reaching out to wrap his arms around Baekhyun’s neck.


Baekhyun keeps teasing him, making playful nibbles on his lips every now and then. It’s the most exciting kiss Joonmyun ever experienced and he was gasping as Baekhyun pulled away and stared deeply into his eyes. At this point they were both completely lying on the couch already, feet tangled on each other.


“I’ve really wanted to kiss you for a long time now,” Baekhyun whispers.


“We should have done this sooner,” Joonmyun replies, laughing.


Joonmyun never thought kissing can actually feel this exhilarating. He had a fair share of partners before but he has never kissed anyone as passionately as like this. Baekhyun made kissing fun and he made it more meaningful.


And he thinks it’s worrying that he’s getting this attached to Baekhyun. The lines of their relationship are blurred, that he has expected since the confession this morning. But he still doesn’t know where they stand. He doesn’t know what exactly he feels for Baekhyun and he knows he’s being the unfair one here.


“I can hear your jumbled thought Kim Joonmyun, you’re over thinking again. Sssh. Just enjoy this quiet time,” Baekhyun says, his smile teasing him.


They didn’t do anything more than kissing and cuddling but Baekhyun did not sleep on his bed that night.


“We should’ve just rented a room with one bed,” Baekhyun whispers as he falls asleep. Joonmyun hears it and he smiles as sleep takes over him.



The next day, no kisses were exchanged but it was obvious that Baekhyun and Joonmyun were more comfortable and clingier to each other.


In the afternoon, Baekhyun drove them to Suncheon Bay.


“Joonmyun, can I ask a favor? I just wanted to capture one scene during sunset but I need a person figure to be in that scene. Can I film you?” he asks.


Joonmyun was surprised. “What? Now? No. No. I don’t want to be filmed. I don’t even know how to act.”


“I don’t need you to act. You just have to stand there and I will make the camera magic happen. Please? In 30 minutes the sun will be setting already and we still have to prepare. I can’t have this moment back again,” Baekhyun says with a pout.


Maybe Joonmyun is getting a little too attached to Baekhyun, he realizes that moment. Otherwise, he would never have agreed to this.


Clad his plain white shirt and light blue jeans, Joonmyun followed Baekhyun’s instructions.


“Just stand here, at this spot. And wait for the sunset. I promise you’ll love it because this place boasts one of the most beautiful sunsets in the world,” Baekhyun says.


“What am I supposed to do? I don’t know how to act, Baekhyun,” Joonmyun reiterates.


“You don’t need to act anything. Just appreciate the view. Don’t mind me, forget about I’m even here,” Baekhyun says.


Joonmyun thought he’d have a hard time following those simple instructions. But when the sun began to set and Joonmyun’s surroundings became even prettier under the golden light, it became easy to forget why he was even there in the first place.


A few minutes after, Baekhyun shouts “cut” and Joonmyun saw the young boy was in front of him already.


“It’s really pretty here Baek,” Joonmyun says.


“I know. It’s a really beautiful view,” Baekhyun says, smiling brightly.



Joonmyun isn’t really the most adventurous person in the world. Kyungsoo often encouraged him by saying that he’s not dull, he’s just safe.


So when Baekhyun asks “What’s the craziest thing you’ve done?” Joonmyun had nothing to answer.


They were in Baekhyun’s apartment that night, waiting for pizza. Baekhyun is reviewing the sound editing of his film and Joonmyun is simply grading papers. Joonmyun’s not sure what their exact relationship will be after that heated kiss in Suncheon a few days ago, but it’s definitely more than friends now.


“Hmm… I don’t know… following you into crashing Minseok hyung’s wedding?” Joonmyun replies, looking up from the documents he was reading.


Baekhyun knots his eyebrows. “Hey,” he says. “That’s not crazy, that’s the best decision you’ve ever had.”


Joonmyun laughs. “Well, I don’t really have one, I think. You know how safe and boring I am,” Joonmyun says, still smirking.


Baekhyun moves next to him in the dining table. “But is there any crazy thing you wanted to do but has never done?” he asks.


“A lot. But I guess the easiest, crazy thing would probably to dye my hair blonde. I’ve never really dyed my hair anything lighter than dark brown,” Joonmyun says.


Baekhyun tilts his head to the left, then to the right. “You would look amazing in blonde. Like an angel. But sexy. Yes, a sexy angel,” he says. “Will that be allowed in the school where you teach though?”


Joonmyun thinks about it and nods. “I don’t think there are restrictions in hair color. I’m just not brave enough to experiment. Why?”



A few hours later, Joonmyun found himself being hair dyed in Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s cramped bathroom.


“Chanyeol is a hair dye addict. He changes hair color every month,” Baekhyun explains.


Later, as Baekhyun dries his golden blonde hair while whispering “beautiful, so beautiful” again and again, it was Joonmyun’s turn to lean closer to the younger boy and kiss him. He kisses him again and again – like he can’t get enough of him.


Joonmyun can feel his heart race in a way he’s never felt before. And he wants to be here, feeling this kind of happiness. They’ve moved to the living room now and can kiss a lot more.


“I think you are beautiful too,” he says while he continuously kisses him. He felt Baekhyun’s smile over the kisses and Joonmyun feels he made a right decision this time.


“Would Chanyeol be okay if he sees us like this in your couch?” Joonmyun voices out as the thought suddenly hits him.


“Oh shoot!” Baekhyun exclaims, suddenly spring up from his position.


“This couch is off-limits to nasty deeds, Byun Baekhyun,” Baekhyun says in his (admittedly accurate) impersonation of Chanyeol. Joonmyun laughs until his stomach ached.


They decided to move to Baekhyun’s room but they didn’t get back to kissing each other. Instead, Baekhyun showed him some of the clips they have shot already for his movie-in-the-making.


Joonmyun revels in Baekhyun’s warmth, in his enthusiasm for his art, in his appreciation for his thoughts and opinions. He really likes this. He really likes Baekhyun.






“Where are you?” Baekhyun asks over the phone. Joonmyun can hear him munching from the other line.


“I’m still at work. Where are you?” Joonmyun asks.


“Oh. I’m just at home now,” Baekhyun says.


“Are you eating cereals again? You should eat proper meals at proper time, Baekhyun. It’s dinner time,” Joonmyun says.


“How did you know that? Did you put up hidden cameras here in our apartment?” Baekhyun says, laughing.


“I just happen to know you tend to eat cereals and snacks all the time that’s why you always miss proper meals.”


“I didn’t call to get scolded okay,” Baekhyun says and Joonmyun can imagine the younger boy pouting.


“So why did you call? Is there any problem?” Joonmyun asks. Baekhyun rarely calls, often choosing to send lengthy messages.


“I just wanted to share some good news. My professor just told me my film has been accepted to the next round of selection for the film festival. If we make it to the last round, it will be part of the line up,” Baekhyun says.


“Wow! Congratulations! You haven’t shown me the finished product yet,” Joonmyun says.


“Watch it when it makes to the festival okay?” Baekhyun says, his voice eager.


“Of course, I have to watch your movie. Congratulations for making it to the next round. We should celebrate it. Do you want to have dinner with me?” Joonmyun asks, before moving to shut down his laptop. It’s past 7 in the evening and he’s alone in their floor already.


“Is this like a dinner date? Or a friendly dinner?” Baekhyun asks. His voice is light and casual but Joonmyun can feel he was nervous. Joonmyun remembers the many times Baekhyun expressed he wants them to go on a proper date. And he thinks they could work out, being more than friends.


“How about a date? I’ll pick you up in an hour?” Joonmyun says.


Baekhyun lets out a relieved sigh and says, “See you Joonmyun.”



The dinner date was excellent, even if it was hastily executed. A part of Joonmyun wished he could’ve prepared a better date for Baekhyun. There’s always next time, Baekhyun assures him. They decided to stroll by the Han River to cap the beautiful night.


“I don’t really want to rush you and I’ve personally tried to avoid talking about this too,” Baekhyun begins. “But I really need to know too. What are we to each other now?”


Joonmyun thinks, playing with the pretty fingers on the hand he’s holding. “I like you a lot. I think I want us to be together.”


“But?” Baekhyun asks, his voice a bit forceful.


“I want you to be sure too. I don’t want to lock you up in a relationship when I’m not 100 percent sure I’m good for you. You know how it is right?” Joonmyun replies.


“No actually I don’t know. I get it that you have insecurity issues, but I don’t see whatever you think you lack. I like you so much. But I guess you don’t like me enough to be in a relationship with me,” Baehkyun spits out.


“No. No, it’s not like that,” Joonmyun tries to explain, his voice softening.


Suddenly, Jongdae’s warning resurfaces in Joonmyun’s head.


“I’m not making forcing you to be with me,” Baekhyun answers.


“I’m just asking you to be brave enough to choose what makes you happy. I know I’m the one who chased after you in the first place and I’m not demanding anything from you that you can’t give. If I’m not that person who will make you happy, then be honest with yourself. Don’t tell me you want to be with me but make me feel I’m not enough to fight for,” Baekhyun continues, trying to make him understand.


Joonmyun doesn’t understand and shakes his head. “It’s not like that,” he snaps. “I like you that’s why I agreed to go out with you.”


“The way you’re acting now shows you don’t understand what I am going through. You’re just like the rest, having expectations from me that I must live up to and not listening to what I feel,” Joonmyun almost yells. He has never shouted or argued with anyone about his personal feelings before. He was used to bottling them up and letting other people win. Arguing with Baekhyun now gives him mixed feelings.


Baekhyun quiets down. He didn’t say anything for a while and simply stares at him.


“Is that how you see me? Is that how you see my feelings? If yes, then I’m not good for you. I should not add burden to you,” Baekhyun says in hushed tone.


Joonmyun wants to say no. He wants to apologize. He wants to stay and tell Baekhyun that he doesn’t feel that way, that he is good for him. But before he can even say anything, Baekhyun has already turned around and started walking away.


He shouts for Baekhyun to wait and runs after him. But Baekhyun simply removes his hand from his grasp and kept walking away.



There are many things in life that Joonmyun has given up before and walked away from. Things like relationships he deemed he can never sustain, career opportunities he feared will clash to his safe life, and personal goals he was too weak to pursue.


And the realization that Baekhyun might be someone he can potentially lose because he allowed him to walk away from whatever they have actually scares Joonmyun. He thinks he finally found that one thing he wants to keep. He knows he is being selfish because he can’t offer Baekhyun any concrete thing but he wants to hold on to him.


Joonmyun didn’t know what to expect when he arrived in front of Baekhyun’s door. It’s their first fight and he’s never seen Baekhyun angry before.


Before Joonmyun can even say anything, Baekhyun pulls him into a hug. Joonmyun didn’t expect this but he hugged him back as tightly as he could.


“You’re so unfair, Joonmyun. It’s 12 in the morning and you arrive here in my front door after you dumped me. I’m supposed to be angry and yet I can’t because you look like just need someone to hug,” he says.


“I’m sorry,” he begins.


“Ssh. Let’s talk about this tomorrow… or later…” the younger boy says before letting him go. Then he pulled him to his bedroom.


“Let’s just sleep for now,” Baekhyun says, before lying on his bed. He motions for Joonmyun to lie beside him.


When they managed to be on a comfortable position wherein they are looking at each other, Baekhyun spoke again.


“We’ve both had a tiring night and yet you still manage to look so beautiful. You are the loveliest when you’re like this, so honest to yourself. You make my heart race by simply allowing me to see you scared and sad.”


Joonmyun saw him close his eyes. He faintly hears Baekhyun’s last words.


“Sleep now, Joonmyunie. When you wake up, I will still love you.”


He hears Baekhyun's words, and they make him feel a kind of warmth he has never felt ever in his life. Maybe this is the start of a good dream, Joonmyun decides as he lets sleep take over him.


They talked about the fight and the drunken visit of Joonmyun over breakfast the next day and Baekhyun forgave him easily. Joonmyun wants to deserve Baekhyun’s forgiveness. He’s determined to be someone worth of Baekhyun.


And the first thing he needs to do is to give Baekhyun access to everything about him – his dreams, his insecurities, his hopes, his love.


“Do you like dogs?” Joonmyun asks Baekhyun after they ate.


“Yes I do! You have pets?” Baekhyun asks.


“No, I don’t. But I volunteer in a dog shelter nearby every Sundays. I wonder if you want to go with me today?”


Baekhyun stares at him then smiles softly. “I was right, you are perfect.”


Joonmyun blushed and shook his head but Baekhyun only laughed at him.



The volunteer work was completed happily. He introduced Baekhyun to Jongin and Kyungsoo who were there to volunteer with him. They fed the dogs, played with some, and helped clean their kennels. Baekhyun got along really well with Joonmyun’s friends. He blushed brightly too when Joonmyun introduced him as his boyfriend, though they haven’t properly talked about it yet.


Joonmyun always knew Baekhyun was a caring person and today he was glad to witness it again.


”I’m not perfect,” Joonmyun says later, when they are already hanging out by the Han River. They didn’t want to go home without having the talk and decided to go back again at the place where they fought and talk properly there.


“My parents think I’m their best son because I’m a good child and my friends’ way of complimenting me is saying I’m a nice person,” he continues, “but the truth is I’m just way too safe, too much of a coward.”


“I get dumped because I’m dull and monotonous. I think I am this way because I’m afraid to be more? And I don’t know if you deserve that. I think you deserve so much more than just plain, old me.”


“You say I’m perfect but I’m not, Baekhyun. In fact, I don’t know know if I’ll be good for you when I take and take all your love and affection and never give you anything but open promises,” Joonmyun says.


“That’s okay, because I’m not perfect too. I talk before I speak, I am impulsive, and my friends all say I am annoying. But it’s our imperfections that make us beautiful together, right? I like you for who you are – flaws and all,” Baekhyun says.


Joonmyun looked sideways to look properly at Baekhyun who was already looking at him, smiling brightly.


“You’re really cheesy too. And yeah, annoying,” Joonmyun says. This made Baekhyun laugh.


“I can show you how beautiful you are in my eyes. I will be patient until the day you see it for yourself. I can wait until you are ready to open your heart to someone else and let yourself be loved,” Baekhyun says, sincerely looking in to Joonmyun’s eyes. “The only thing I ask is for you to let me, Joonmyun.”


He doesn’t move from his spot and Joonmyun feels frozen too. He stares back at Baekhyun, waiting for him to speak more because his own thoughts are muddled right now.


“I’m scared, Baekhyun. I’ve lived my whole life disappointing everyone around me. I try so hard and even then I still keep failing. I still keep lacking. I might just disappoint you and that scares me the most,” he says, looking away from Baekhyun’s insistent stare.


“Do you like me too? Do you think it’s possible for you to be happy with me?” Baekhyun asks.


Joonmyun moves his eyes to the ground, afraid that if he looks at Baekhyun, he will answer too honestly. Suddenly he felt a soft hand touching his chin and Baekhyun lightly turns his head towards him. Baekhyun sits closer to him, moving nearer to him like always. It’s always Baekhyun who approaches him first, who comforts him first, and who welcomes him first.


“I like you. I like you so much. I’m probably in love with you already. But do I deserve you? That’s what I ask myself everyday. You are too precious and I’m… I feel like I will just dim your brightness,” Joonmyun confesses to Baekhyun, voicing out all his insecurities and worries.


This time, Baekhyun reached out to hold Joonmyun’s hand.


“I ask myself the same thing, hyung. You are so beautiful, so selfless, so worth all the love. I get scared too that I’m not enough. But relationships are born from working together to deserve each other. We can make this work, I can feel it,” Baekhyun says, squeezing his hand tighter. And Joonmyun has never felt more assured in his life than now.





Now that they’re officially together, Joonmyun and Baekhyun thinks their friends need to officially meet too.


So they set up a small dinner in a cozy restaurant for their closest friend to meet.


It was amusing to watch Jongdae blush in the presence of Minseok and Luhan. Joonmyun will enjoy teasing him about this in the following days. Baekhyun also made Jongdae and Sehun sit together.


“They will get along well, I’m sure of that,” Baekhyun says. “They can bond over their infinite crushes over Minseok and Luhan.”


Turns out, Baekhyun was correct. Jongdae and Sehun talked for the entire night and Joonmyun is pretty sure they exchanged phones, probably to save each other’s number.


"I'm going to tease Kim Jongdae a lot if he ends up dating someone even younger than my boyfriend," Joonmyun says.


Jongin and Kyungsoo got along well with Chanyeol and the rest of Baekhyun’s friends too. Though, they were both blushing and stealing looks over at Minseok’s side too.


“So all of you are like infatuated with Minseok?” Baekhyun asks when he noticed.


“I told you, Kim Minseok is like a god in our campus,” Joonmyun says.


“Well I’m glad he’s off the market now. I don’t want to compete with Minseok hyung.”


“There’s no competition, I love you best,” Joonmyun says as he steals a kiss from Baekhyun’s lips.


“Can you two not have your PDA in front of us?” Yixing says, out loud.


The whole table laughed and both Joonmyun and Baekhyun blushed.


“I’ll just show you my love later,” Baekhyun whispers to Joonmyun.



Later actually meant stumbling into Baekhyun’s bedroom, with Baekhyun stripping them both of their clothes along the way. Joonmyun loses his shirt and his pants are unzipped before they even get to close the door. Good thing Chanyeol was not sleeping in the apartment that night.


Baekhyun goes down on the floor, tugging Joonmyun’s pants and boxers down with him. Joonmyun’s already hard as Baekhyun rubs his cock to his cheek.


“Baekhyun,” Joonmyun groans when Baekhyun opens his mouth to suck on his cock. He starts slow, wanting to prolong tasting Joonmyun.


Joonmyun leans to the wall, his legs trembling over Baekhyun’s every nibble and suck.


“Baek,” he groans again.


Baekhyun looks up. “Do you want to move to the bed?” he asks.


Joonmyun simply nods, no energy to say anything else.


Baekhyun gets up and removes his own clothes before Joonmyun pushed him lightly on the bed.


Joonmyun kisses Baekhyun softly on the lips as he runs his hands all over his body. “I want to keep touching you,” he whispers in between kisses.


“Here,” he says, as he runs his fingers on Baekhyun’s nipple.


“And here,” he continues, palming Baekhyun’s cock while moving to kiss and nibble his jaw.


“And every part of your body,” he ends as Baekhyun groans loudly.


“Joonmyun” Baekhyun says as he grabs Joonmyun’s hand. “I want you in me,” he groans again, looking straight into his lover’s eyes. “Now.”


Joonmyun nods before moving to take out a tube he knows Baekhyun keeps in his drawer. When he turns his attention back to his boyfriend, Baekhyun’s eyes are filled with lust as he watches and waits for him.


He takes his time prepping Baekhyun because he doesn’t want to hurt him. He starts with a finger, then two, and when Baekhyun’s comfortable with three of his fingers inside and moaning “more hyung,” Joonmyun decides it’s okay now.


Baekhyun keeps his eyes on Joonmyun as he slowly plunges himself into him. Joonmyun lifts Baekhyun’s legs to rest on his shoulders so he can keep kissing his lips as he slams into him again and again. Baekhyun is hard, and he’s so tight and hot that Joonmyun can’t help but moan repeatedly into his life.


Baekhyun fists the back of Joonmyun’s hair, holding him closer, whispering “I love yous” again and again.


Joonmyun almost pulls out and then enters into him with full force, hitting his prostate and making Baekhyun scream. Joonmyun repeats hitting the spot again and again.


Joonmyun watches as Baekhyun gasps and moans and screams for him, and he can’t help but want to do it over and over again. He captures Baekhyun’s moans into his mouth and it’s not long after when Baekhyun cums.


Baekhyun clenches around him as he cums, leading to Joonmyun’s own release.


Joonmyun stands to get a towel to clean them both before cuddling Baekhyun into a warm hug.


Baekhyun snuggles closer to Joonmyun and suddenly says, “I’m really happy to be with you, hyung.”


Joonmyun slightly laughs. “Are you sure you are happy? You don’t sound like it.”


Baekhyun nods slowly, like he’s shy to admit it. “I really am. But I’m scared too. I’m scared I’m going to want you too much in a way you can’t give. When that happens, just talk to me okay? We’ll talk about it. No more running away.”


Joonmyun moved their position on the bed so they are both facing each other easily while lying down. “Baekhyun, you came into my life and you accepted and appreciated everything about me – the good, the bad, the weird and even the lame things about me. I know I suck in a lot of things. I’m often clueless, I’m klutzy and I’m boring. I don’t play any sports properly. I like old songs and classic movies but you don’t call me outdated. Instead you call me interesting and with good taste. You make me feel loved.”


Joonmyun paused, and then he reached his hand out to touch Baekhyun softly on his cheeks.


“But you accepting me, liking me, are not the only reason why I like you. You make me happy; you make everything around you brighter.”


“I hope you know how much I want to keep you. You can want me any way you want because I am giving you my all. I hope, from now on and everyday we spend together, I can show you how much I love you and only you.”






Sometimes Joonmyun looks at Baekhyun and he can’t help but think how lucky he is to have found a love as beautiful as this. Baekhyun had been consistent with him, appreciative and encouraging. He treats him as a partner and involves him with all his plans and dreams.


Whenever Baekhyun calls him at the end of the day to ask about his day or simply to tell him he loves him, Joonmyun feels grateful to have someone who sincerely cares for him. When he looks at Joonmyun then kisses him like he means the world to him, Joonmyun falls in love all over again.


But Joonmyun has never realized just how much Baekhyun loved him until he saw Baekhyun’s first movie.


Baekhyun’s work successfully made it to the film festival and he made sure Joonmyun gets the best spot in the small cinema where it will be showcased.


The film was titled “Lost Boy” and Chanyeol, who saw it pre-production because he helped Baekhyun in the musical background, described it to him as a story about one’s journey through heartbreak so Joonmyun had expected it to be sad but optimistic – because Baekhyun is a breath of positive light.


What he wasn’t ready was to find himself in the film. The movie was shot from the perspective the filmmaker, following an anonymous boy to different places. Joonmyun is sure the movie narrates Baekhyun’s journey to finding him. Joonmyun never realized how lost he was until he felt how much he wanted to found.


The film ended with the shot Baekhyun filmed of him watching the sunset in Suncheon. It was filmed beautifully, if Joonmyun would dare say. He looked really happy and it was captured artistically by Baekhyun. It was an open-ended film, a narration Baekhyun’s journey to finding him.


For a brief minute, Joonmyun began to think if he is worth all this love. But he doesn’t want his own insecurity ruin this beautiful thing he has.


“I love you,” he tells Baekhyun as soon as he sees him after the movie. Baekhyun was surrounded by people congratulating them but he immediately moved to his side when he spotted Joonmyun standing a few feet from the crowd.


“Well, I’m pretty sure you know I love you too right?” Baekhyun answers, cheekily.


Joonmyun laughs, and Baekhyun kisses him on the cheek. Joonmyun’s lucky Baekhyun found him. But he’ll make sure Baekhyun will receive all the love he deserves too. Now and always.