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A Thing Of the Past

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Dear Harry,

Don't believe Draco when he tells you he's fine. He's not. He's not fine even though he thinks he can handle it. Don't believe the bloody bastard because you love him. Don't believe Draco when he tells you the scars are from Auror training. They're not. He did that to himself and you bloody hate it. You hate it because he's sad and you can't be sad with him. You have to be strong and tell him he is too. Make him strong.
Don't believe Draco when he stops eating. Don't believe him when he tells you that he's just not hungry or ate earlier. He's fucking starving. You know what I mean. I know you notice how his stomach rumbles through the night and how he holds his stomach everyday.
Don't just say nothing when you notice. He needs to know you notice. He wants you to tell him you love him everyday and kiss his fucking scars. Don't act like they're not there.
Tell him that you know he's sad and that's nothing to be ashamed of because you know how it feels to be that sad.
Remind him. Remind him every day that he's all you need. He can't leave because you need him and you know that's selfish, but it's the kind of selfish that might have gotten him to stay.
He left you know? He left me. He left our home and went to the hills.
No, he's not run away from me. He's run away from himself and I was too bloody dense to know it. I've let the one thing in my life that my heart beat for stop his.
He's dead. He was murdered. By his bloody demons. He killed himself and left me here I grief alone.
Oh, Merlin, why him? Why did it have to be him? Why not me? Please bring him back and take me. God dammit! I hate you. I hate you, Draco Malfoy. Tell him I said that too. You can't just leave me!
I'm pregnant Draco! Your son needs you! He needs a strong man in his life, and Merlin knows I can't be that for him. Not without you. Gods, I need you bad, My Love. I'm so desperate for anything. Give me anything. Why couldn't you have been a ghost? At least that! Your son would have gotten to see you. I know you wanted to name him Scorpius H. Malfoy-Potter, but Baby, I'm too selfish. I can't have him not have your name. He has to know who his father is. I hope this works god dammit. His name will be Draco Scorpius Malfoy-Potter. He has to know his daddy is still alive in him.
Harry, me, you, fuck I don't know, you have to do something for me. I need you to read this and tell him he's beautiful everyday. Give him something to live for.
Draco created a charm and potion before he died that allowed time travel. I'm going to be sending an owl to you through the portal and it will be tapping on your train car window on the way to Hogwarts for the eight year. You have already had a connection with Draco but this is where the severe depression starts with him and I know you won't be happy about this and you'll be confused and maybe even disappointed but you have a lovely life with him before you. It may only be a few years but it's enough to know that you would give your life and soul to protect that beautiful, strong willed man. Damn he's so stubborn. Please be patient with him. He's so delicate even if he doesn't show it. Don't pity him though. Never, ever do that, Harry. Love him with all of your heart and don't let him settle for less than the love you give him. Give him your life and once your full of his beautiful baby, tell him immediately and don't be scared of his reaction. He loves you unconditionally and could never leave you for any reason in the world. Unless of course he killed himself. And if he does, do this process until my snowflake is safe. Please keep him safe from the harm of himself. Please.

Sincerely, Harry Malfoy-Potter

 

>>>>>>>>>>>

 

Harry lifted his glasses to his forehead and wiped his eyes vigorously. He rubbed his stomach as he said, "Daddy will be back, Baby. He will be. He would never leave us like this. He may be a snake through and through, but he's truly a Hufflepuff at heart. Always to full of kindness and loyalty and love. He wouldn't leave us for long, darling."
Harry rocked in his chair and he really hoped he wasn't just trying to reassure himself. He got up and walked to his bedroom at Number 12 Grimmuald Place.
He laid down in the empty bed and silently thought "Goodnight, Malfoy."
He thought of Draco saying back, "Goodnight, Potter"
Finally, as he drifted off to sleep, drowsy from the tears he had cried, he thought of him pulling Draco closer and whispering into his ear, "I love you. Always."