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A Steamy Romance Novel: A Tale of Two Princes

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"Do I please you, O prince?"

Anduin raised an eyebrow at Wrathion. The two of them had been mindlessly making out, and Anduin had even been thinking of asking the dragon if he had any interest in going further, when Wrathion had pulled away and asked what Anduin thought was a very silly question. "Of course you do," he said.

Wrathion frowned, not removing his hands from Anduin's waist. "You aren't very vocal about it," he said. "You're supposed to be moaning in throes of ecstasy, and you hardly make any noise at all."

Anduin laughed. "Moaning in throes of ecstasy? Where in the world did you pick up that phrase?"

This served as a cue for Wrathion to drop his hands from Anduin's form and cross the room to where Anduin noticed, for the first time, a large stack of brightly colored books. Wrathion selected the top of the pile and returned to his seat beside Anduin, flipping through the pages with about as much delicacy as he could muster. As he did so, Anduin leaned over to catch a glimpse of the novel's front cover and was surprised to see a shirtless and impressively toned man holding a barely-clad woman against his chest. The woman gazed up at him with obvious longing, and both of their hair billowed in an invisible wind. Anduin couldn't believe his eyes. "...that's not a Steamy Romance novel, is it?" he asked.

Wrathion's red eyes flicked up from the pages to glare at Anduin. "And what if it is? Right says that the author of these novels is an expert in human seduction and sexuality."

Anduin snorted. " 'Expert' is probably a bit of an exaggeration."

Wrathion rolled his eyes before returning his gaze to the book. "So little you know, O prince. I have read every last one of these novels from cover to cover, examining them from an academic standpoint." He looked up with a devilish grin, pointed teeth gleaming dangerously. "The seduction techniques have already served me rather well where you're concerned."

Anduin ignored this. "Those novels aren't realistic in the least, though! They just use flowery words to hide the fact that they have no idea what they're talking about."

Wrathion raised a thick eyebrow at Anduin, mimicking the prince's expression from before. "These authors know exactly what they're talking about. They are experts. First you moan in throes of ecstasy. Then your bosoms heave and our members throb. The scent of our sex fills the air like a heavy perfume, and then one of us--you or I, very few of these feature two male protagonists, unfortunately--cries out in lust and plants his seed in the other's garden, which means that we should probably go outside. Your lack of experience is showing, O prince."

"My lack of experience?" Anduin repeated, cheeks flushing in annoyance when his voice cracked and proved Wrathion's point for him. Still, the human prince persisted. "You're all of, what, two years old? And you're going on about my lack of experience?"

Wrathion's eyes flared, a puff of smoke coming from between his teeth as he snarled, "How many times must I remind you that two in dragon years and two in human years are very different concepts?"

"Alright, alright." Anduin held up his hands placatingly. "I'm just saying, from what I know, those novels aren't very accurate."

Wrathion's expression remained irritated. "Then perhaps you'd like to teach me, O prince, since you know so much," he snapped, eyes then widening as he realized what he had suggested. A flush crept up the black prince's cheeks, and Anduin allowed himself a small and triumphant smile.

"Gladly," he said, placing his hand atop Wrathion's and leaning in for another kiss.

. .

"That wasn't anything at all like the novels said it would be."

Their tangled limbs were heavy. Their eyes were half-lidded in a drowsy afterglow. Neither of them could force himself to move enough to clean the mess they'd made. And still, despite all of this, Wrathion sounded sulky. Anduin frowned. "--sorry about that. I did try to warn you," he said.

Wrathion remained silent for several minutes before answering. "Don't be, O prince. It was... better, I think."


"Yes. Better because it was real."