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Here Lies Killian Jo- Wait A Minute

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The solemn air saturated the graveyard. The mahogany coffin was surrounded by royals and thieves alike, all wearing black, and all bowing their heads respectfully.

There was no religious figure presiding the service, but simply a prince to a long gone kingdom who called the deceased his ‘mate’.

“No matter how we met Killian Jones, it was always very memorable,” David finished off, his red eyes trying to show levity, knowing his closest friend wouldn't have wanted a miserable funeral.

Henry clung to Snow’s arm, needing his grandmother’s support right then, not wanting to be a burden on his mom when she could barely hold herself up.

“Emma, would you like to say a few words?” David asked when he was done.

Emma Swan, the Savoir, stepped forward, grief coming off of her in waves.

“My first impression of him was not a good one,” she started, a flick of her lips upwards when she remembered the first time her hands went through his hair when she put a knife to his throat. She quickly banished the memory when she was also reminded of the last time she ran her hands through it. “When it came to journeys and adventures, he was the best person to have around.”

Emma met eyes with Henry, and he nodded at her, encouraging her to go on.

“I’m just lucky we got the adventures that we did get. He was always so resourceful, he was brave, and clever, and-,”

Just then, the coffin burst open revealing Killian Jones sitting up and staring at the crowd.


“Are you kidding me?!?!” Leroy shouted, throwing his umbrella on the ground. “This pirate never stays dead….”

The man of the hour hopped out of the coffin, slightly swaying for a moment before righting himself. His expression of disorientation changed into one of absolute bliss when he spotted Emma, her eyes practically popping out of her head in shock.

“Killian Jones!” Emma yelled through her tears, her hand coming up to her mouth to muffle her sobs. “I can’t….I can’t believe you did this!” Her sobbing became uncontrollable as her true love came closer to her. She managed to get a sentence out. “AT YOUR OWN DAMN FUNERAL!”

He put his arm around her and pulled her in close, shielding her from the confused and slightly annoyed audience.

“Are they having another reunion?” Granny whispered to Will

“At this point I wouldn’t be surprised if they tear up whenever one leaves for the bathroom,” Will Scarlett said. He turned his eyes to the Widow Lucas. “Five bucks says he’ll kick the bucket again by next week.”

Granny scoffed. “You’re on.” They shook on it.

“It’s alright love, I’m OK. Everything is going to be fine now,” Killian said, pressing his nose to her hair, trying to breathe in as much of her scent as possible.

Emma’s fist pounded the mahogany. “THIS IS A REALLY EXPENSIVE COFFIN!” she sobbed.

Killian smiled, only half paying attention to her words. “I know, it was quite comfortable. Before making my entrance, I did spend a minute admiring the craftsmanship.”

Emma pulled back to hit him on the shoulder. “You’re such a jerk! We went all out for this! What am I going to do with this coffin now?”

Killian stilled. “Why do I get the feeling you’re going to bury me in it anyway?” he whispered in horror.

Emma ignored him, instead throwing herself into his arms.

“It’s good to have you back, Killian,” Charming said, clapping his mate on the back.

Killian, still unsure on what Emma was feeling at the moment, was glad that someone seemed happy to see him alive.

“How did you get out of the Underworld?” Henry said, coming up to them.

Killian scratched the back of his head with his hook. “Well, funny story, Hades’ wife let me out.”

“You’re married?!?!” Zelena shouted from somewhere.

A slap echoed around the graveyard before the smell of smoke and the cry of, “technically we’re only married half the year!”, before Killian continued.

“Yeah. She felt bad about the whole thing and wanted to get back at him….so she thought it fit for me to return to Storybrooke. Apparently I have quite the reputation for being a nuisance for immortal men when they come between me and a woman.” Emma then started pounding her true love in the chest, her faint yelling eligible since Killian pressed her face hard against him, trying desperately to calm down his hysterical love. No one really blamed her for the outburst, since at that point everyone was a bit fed up with Killian’s on/off relationship with death. The man had a hard time committing to anything not Emma-related.

“What’s that mean?” David asked, trying to keep the grin off his face.

“Not sure,” the captain said while shrugging. “Point is, I get to spend a long life with Emma.”

The woman herself finally lifted her head from his check, no longer kept there by her love’s hand. She glared at him. “You’re sleeping on the couch.”

He winced. “Is this about that heartbreaking goodbye we did at the elevator?”

“The elevator, by the lake, in the middlemost field, in Isaac’s storybook….”

“I can see where you might be upset with me…” he muttered.

“…and the town line. Take your pick.”

“Do you two need couples therapy?” Archie said, popping up out of nowhere.

“At this point, who DOESN’T need therapy?” Snow mumbled from behind David.

Emma poked a finger at Killian. “Don’t die on me and then we’ll talk about sleeping arrangements.”

Killian’s face relaxed into a dopey grin before nodding. “Aye, love. Dying is not in the cards for me, not for awhile.”

Emma looked him dead in the eye. “Good”. Her face then started to mirror Killian’s, getting herself her own smile. She trapped him by the lapels like she did in Neverland and pressed her lips to his, pouring all her love and desperation and hope into it.

She ran her fingers through his hair, a movement she’d been aching to do for a long time. He pressed his hand to the back of her head, and knew he was finally home for good.

Henry coughed awkwardly as he watched them make out. “Uh, guys? Still here….”