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Let's Start at the Beginning

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I’ve always loved waking up in the morning. Well, OK, mornings in prison – maybe not. But since moving to Cleveland, waking up has been the best part of my day. See, that’s when I get to watch you. You always seem so relaxed, and I’m not distracted by the love and desire in your eyes. So, when I felt the sun on my body today, I was prepared to take part in my favorite sport, Buffy Watching.

I started to stretch and roll over, but my arms were caught in the sheets. Damn. Hope you’re not awake and watching me this morning. How fucking embarrassing. Mumbling a few choice words under my breath, I jerked and twisted but couldn’t get the things off. OK, enough was enough. I opened my eyes…Hmmm. Let’s try that again. I opened my eyes…Either this was the Apocalypse we’ve been dreading for years, or I was blindfolded. Since we hadn’t lost against a Big Bad yet, the blindfold was a safe bet. Suddenly, my warm and sleepy mood was something a whole lot hotter. My breathing quickened and deepened. “Hey, B, what ya got planned today?”

I was expecting silence. You’d used that with devastating effect last month in the basement. After all these years, I should have known you wouldn’t do what I expected.

“Well, Lover, you’ll have to wait to find out.” Your voice had just a hint of morning gravel in it. Damn, I loved that husky purr. You snuggled up to me, running your hands across my stomach and up to my breasts. I moaned and arched into your hands.

You continued to tease and pinch my hardened nipples. “You sleep like the dead, Lover. Good for me; I was able to get you ready.”

“Re-ready for what, B?” I managed to get out.

“Well, you’ve been pushing at me since we left Sunnydale to pay you back for all the shit you pulled way back when.” Your hands moved away from my nipples and traced a slow, torturous path down my stomach. “You’ve done one hell of a job turning your life around. Now, for most people, that would be enough. But not you, Faith. You always want to do things the hard way.”

I yelped when you nipped my right breast. Damn, that hurt.

You simply chuckled and moved your hands lower. I bent my knees and pushed with my feet, trying to get a little more contact. Didn’t work. You just made this disappointed little hum and took your hands away. ‘Kay, B, don’t have to tell me twice. I stretched back out on the bed.

“Sorry, B. Didn’t know I couldn’t move.”

“That’s OK, baby. I’ll just add this transgression to the list I’ve been making.

OK, Vanilla Buffy has left the room. I decided to push and see just how far you were willing to take this. “Whatever, B. I’ve been begging you to punish me for years. Kinda figured after all this time, you just didn’t have it in you.”

“You always did say you weren’t real bright. Well, Faith, guess this proves your point.” Damned if you didn’t sound amused. “See, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. And, maybe you’re right about something else. I do have a lot of unresolved issues with what happened back in Sunnydale. You remember, don’t you? Setting out to steal my boyfriend, talking me in to stealing, siding with the Big Bad, holding my best friend at knife point.”

My arousal ebbed at your words. I could see each of those events in my head like they’d just happened yesterday. A sour taste filled my mouth and my stomach clenched in pain.

You must have noticed the change in my body because your hands were suddenly back. They ran a soothing pattern from my hands, up to my shoulders, and back again.  “When I think about those things, Faith, I still get angry. Mostly, though, I just feel sad. Because we wasted so much time on different sides of the fight.” You were purring the words in my ear. I was relaxing again. “But I think all those things still bother you, too, Faith. So, I’m going to do what you’ve been begging me to do – I’m going to punish you for each and every thing you did to hurt me.”

Yes, I shouted silently. I didn’t care how bad you hurt me, we – I – needed to get rid of some of the guilt. And, maybe, you’d be able to let go of that lingering anger.

The gentle caresses stopped, and I felt you move off the bed. “The list is pretty long, so we’re going to do this in sessions. Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?”

“Sure, B, whatever you want.”

“You can’t know how happy your agreement makes me, Faith.” I shivered a bit at the mocking lilt. “Can you guess what’s at the beginning of my list, Lover?”

I was listening so intently to your movements, I almost missed the question. “Ahh,” I stalled, mind working frantically. Fuck, B, could you be more specific. I did a lot of crazy things back in the ‘Dale. It must have taken me too long to answer.

“You disappoint me.” Damn, that disapproving tone got to me. My skin felt hot and I was dripping with sweat – and other fluids.

“Sorry, B. Just, there’s a lot of stuff to choose from,” I mumbled.

You climbed back on the bed and sat next to me. “Well, since you can’t make up your mind, I’ll give you a little hint. Scott Hope.”

Wow, B. All the really evil things I did, and that’s at the top of your list? “OK.”

“I don’t think you feel real sorry yet, Faith. Maybe this will help.” I felt you pinching and pulling at my right nipple just before everything exploded in a haze of pain. You’d snapped a nipple clamp on.

I couldn’t decide if I was hot or cold. Chills raced up and down my body, but the sweat poured off of me. I swallowed hard against a surge of nausea. Finally, the pain faded into a dull throbbing. I breathed a bit easier and relaxed slightly. You were still sitting next to me; your leg was pressed against my side.

“Feeling a bit better, F?” Oh, yeah, I wasn’t the only one getting off on this. Your voice had dropped lower – and it wasn’t a result of just getting out of bed.

“Five by five, B.”

“Now, that’s a phrase I haven’t heard in a while,” you cooed in my ear. I squirmed and moaned as your breath drifted over me. “Now, we can mark Scott off the list and move on.” I tensed without meaning to. “Mmm, someone’s a bit nervous about what’s coming up.”

You leaned down and ran your tongue from my mound to my breasts. “After Scott, we get to the sporting goods store.”

“Yeah, B, I’m real sorry about that.” And I was, sort of. I mean I think you completely enjoyed it in the heat of the moment. But afterwards, even discounting Finch, those morals of yours kicked in. I screamed and jerked at the bonds holding my arms when you put the clamp on my other nipple. Fuck, this was way worse than the first time. There was a new fire radiating from my left nipple, but my violent movements had revived the embers in the other.

I lost track of everything. My world narrowed to the burning in my chest and the desire dripping from my body. The agony eventually started to fade, and I dropped back onto the bed, panting. Slowly, minute by minute, my awareness widened. You had moved from your spot next to me and now rested between my spread legs. “B…” I couldn’t form any other words.

“Don’t worry, Faith. This part won’t hurt a bit.”