She stood nervously on his doorstep waiting for him to answer the door. She was honestly torn as to whether or not she wanted to see him. Since he'd been home after being tortured by Ba'al, he'd been holed up in his house and hadn't really seen or spoken to anyone. She knew he was still recuperating from his last round of injuries and the withdrawal from the sarcophagus.
The door swung open and his haggard face appeared. She might have said hello, she wasn't sure, but she ended up in his living room anyway. He moved stiffly like everything hurt and she imagined it probably did. She felt for him as he settled himself down onto the couch.
"What are you doing here, Carter?" he asked her wearily.
Her eyes strayed to the coffee table and the bottle of dark liquor there. She was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to be drinking on his meds, but she wasn't going to say anything to him about it. He was a big boy, he could make his own decisions. And she wasn't there to admonish him, she wasn't even there to check on him, not really. She was there because she needed to be there. She needed to be in his presence after everything that had happened. She didn't know how to tell him that so she shrugged one shoulder.
"There's gotta be some reason you're here. You draw the short straw? Or is this some sort of pity thing?"
"No," she breathed, shaking her head. "I just... I..."
"Spit it out, Carter."
"Have you ever felt like you had to be somewhere?" she asked him instead.
He looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "You thought you had to be here?"
She took a step towards him, suddenly completely sure she was exactly where she was supposed to be. Everything else, and she meant everything else, be damned. "You know what? Yeah."
His eyes softened. She sat down on the coffee table in front of him, his knees on either side of hers. "If it's guilt, you don't need to be feeling guilty."
That socked her in the gut. Because she did feel guilty. The whole situation was her fault.
"It's not your fault," he said as if her thoughts played out across her face. They probably had.
And then she felt worse because he wasn't supposed to be consoling her. She was supposed to be making him feel better, only she didn't know how to break through the solid emotional barrier he had up.
She considered him, sprawled out on the couch as he was. Well, there was one way, a surefire way, but it was pretty off-limits considering he was her CO. It was, however, how she usually dealt with things that were beyond her control. Sex was how she asserted herself, it always had been. Well, not with him. Not yet. But... hadn't she just damned everything else? And wouldn't their ranks and command structure be part of everything else? She contemplated him for long moments during which it was difficult to remain silent and sit under his scrutiny. Finally, knowing what she wanted to do, she slid off the table and onto her knees between the coffee table, the couch, and his thighs.
His eyes widened but he didn't say a word. Her eyes drifted down, down, down until they hit the fly of his pants. She had to move the tails of his shirt aside to get to his button and zipper, but through the jean she could already see he was interested in what she was doing. She wondered, idly, if it was because she was on her knees or if it had happened earlier and then decided it didn't matter – she wasn't looking for flattery, she was looking to, what? Make amends?
She popped the button and he sucked in a breath of air that made his belly brush the backs of her fingers. The contact with him made her shiver and it made him groan. The sound was loud in his quiet living room – as was the sound of his zipper being undone. He sighed then, and she assumed it was because of the loss of pressure on his erection.
With a sure hand that belied her nervousness, she reached into pants and gently grasped his cock. She could feel it swell further in her hands but he didn't make a sound. She looked up into his eyes to find his on her face, searching her – for what she wasn't sure, exactly. She maneuvered him until he was free of the confines of his jeans and then she sighed. He was beautiful, but she'd always known he would be.
She licked her lips and he jumped in her hand. It made her feel powerful and it turned her on to know what she was about to do for him. She closed her fist around him and gave him a slight squeeze. His head dropped back on the couch and his eyes slipped closed. She was flattered by the way he was giving over to the sensation she was creating, but she really wanted him to watch her. She wanted to be able to look up from time to time to see his deep brown eyes staring back at her.
She leaned forward and swiped at the tip of his cock with her tongue. His hips shot up off the couch, he made a strangled noise in the back of his throat, and, when she looked up, he was looking right at her, a startled look warring on his face with one of intense pleasure.
With her eyes locked on his she took him into her mouth and swirled her tongue around his sensitive head then took as much of his shaft into her mouth as she could. She finally broke eye contact when she got to the bottom of her stroke so she could concentrate on the thick, heavy feeling of him in her mouth, on her tongue, so she could revel in the base, musky scent of him where her nose was so close to his body. She held steady there for just a moment, breathing deeply through her nose, letting them both acclimate to the feeling of him in her mouth, before she slowly rose off him. She took him in again and again, slowly, each time laving at the smooth head of his cock with her wet tongue until she tasted the first drops of fluid leaking out of him.
He buried his fingers in her hair then. She tensed wondering if he was going to hold her head in place, but he didn't hinder her movements at all. She rewarded him by teasing the underside of the head of his penis with the tip of her tongue until he groaned her name, "Carter," long and low, but his hand slipped out of her hair with his pleasure. She liked his use of her surname, it felt more like it was him she was with than any other man. It also caused a rush of wetness of her own for her to deal with.
She reached up and grasped the waistband of his jeans and pulled lightly until he got the hint and lifted his hips so she could pull his pants down to mid thigh so she had access now to everything. She stopped for a moment to admire him in the low light, his hard cock standing against his belly, his balls tight against his body, his silver pubic hair, he was perfection. And she was wetter still.
With her newfound access she moved back in to lick up one side of his shaft. When she got to the top she took him in her mouth again and began sucking him inside using her hands to massage his shaft as she worked him over with her mouth. She alternated sucking and using her tongue to tease his weeping slit as she continued the sensual assault with her hands.
When his head had fallen back against the couch again, decided it was time to shake things up a bit. She wrapped her hand his dick and started pumping and moved her mouth down to his balls. She licked carefully at the delicate skin before sucking one of them into her mouth. He hissed and she looked up to see him look back down at her. Good, she thought, and smiled around him. She switched testicles before laving again at the soft skin. She continued her ministrations, switching back and forth, slowly, until her name was a running litany issuing forth from between his lips.
She licked her way back up his shaft before taking him back in her mouth and gliding up and down once more, taking him all the way in. Again, he buried his hand in her hair. This time, knowing he wasn't going to try to control her, she moaned at the sensation. He groaned in response.
Soon, she could sense he was about to come. She used her thumb to press at the base of his penis to delay his orgasm for just a little longer. He groaned again, this time in irritation, but she just laughed against his cock, her warm breath wafting against him. "Soon, sir," she said lowly and felt his balls tighten more in her hand. She wondered if it was the honorific and decided that maybe, just maybe, it was. She felt herself grow slicker and more swollen.
Knowing he was close, she began to take him in as deeply as she could. When she felt him at the back of her throat she took deep, calming breaths to bypass her gag reflex so she could take him in deeper still. He started to chant her name and caress her head, both hands now buried in her hair.
When she felt like it could be any moment, she backed off, using her mouth only on the sensitive head of his penis and using her hands to massage his pulsing shaft, she sucked and licked until his hips were thrusting ever so gently up off the couch and towards her face. It didn't take long and he was warning her, "I'm gonna come."
Ever the gentleman, she thought. "Whenever you're ready," she told him, softly and took him back into her mouth, signaling that she was prepared to take whatever he had to offer. It took only a few more moments and she felt him tense and still and then he groaned long and low, his hands tightening in her hair and he emptied himself into her willing mouth.
She swallowed reflexively. When he was done, she licked at him delicately, cleaning the last of his spendings off of his slowly softening and very sensitive penis. When she was done she looked up at him to find him watching her, a questioning look on his face. She sat back on her heels, watched as he pulled his pants back into place and fastened them. Then she moved back to her place on the coffee table.
"Not that I'm complaining, Carter, but what was that?"
"Consider it an I'll never ask you to do that again."
"I hope to god you mean getting snaked," he said with a half smile that did her heart good to see.
"I do," she said with a small smile. "This... I'd like to do again."
"There's other stuff on my list," he admitted. "Like... what about you?"
"Tonight wasn't about me. Tonight was about you. It'll be about me one day. No need to rush it."
"So this is what we're doing? When it gets bad we're going to get each other off?"
"It's not a perfect solution," she said with a shrug.
"We haven't even kissed," he noted.
He reached out and snagged her hand and pulled her to him, she ended up sprawled over him, one hand against his chest. "You don't want to kiss me now," she objected.
"Why not?" he asked seriously.
"You just... in my mouth..."
She blushed, he captured her lips with his own and forced her mouth open with his tongue. She tangled her tongue with his even though she knew he'd be able to taste himself on her. In truth, it made her a little hotter to know that he could, but she'd never admit it to him. At least not until things between them went much, much farther.
"Thanks for coming over tonight," he said when he finally released her. "I needed this."
"I needed it, too," she revealed. " But now I'm going home," she said and pressed a kiss to his cheek.
He looked, for a moment, like he was going to ask her to stay, so she hurriedly got up off him and started for the door.
"Good night, Carter," he called from his boneless place on the couch.
"Good night, sir," she called back. A smile plastered itself across her face and she let herself out the front door.