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As the smile fell from your face (I fell with it)

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On Friday nights I usually prefered to stay in my bed. It's not like was antisocial. I just didn't feel comfortable enough in the clubs and at house parties, anymore. Everybody was drunk or high, they didn't even control themselves and they did a lot of stupid things, then there was me, a person who didn't drink at all, didn't smoke. It's not like I never drunk. There was a time when I partied hard. I came to clubs every Friday and Saturday and got really drunk, sometimes I couldn't even remember what was going on on the party and I had to ask other people the next day.


Let's say I learned my lesson the hard way.


Today was different though. My only friend asked me to come to his twenty first birthday party. I just couldn't say no.


I was almost ready to go, when Zayn's boyfriend, Liam came to pick me up. The two of them were the only people that I could trust. I wasn't as close with Liam as I was with Z, but he definitely was somebody who protected people he cared about.


I gathered all of the things I could need and walked out the door to the car, greeted Liam and we drove to the club not talking at all, just a radio playing in the background.




- Hey Lou, glad you came. - Zayn said with a grin on his face. I smiled lightly at him. - You should meet my friends and than we can get you something to drink. - I looked at him frightened, I didn't want to drink. He needed to see the look on my face, because he quickly added. - A drink without alcohol of course, you know I would never pressure you into anything.


We walked towards our booth and Zayn started to introduce me to everybody. There wasn't many people there, probably around ten people including me, Zayn and Liam. Only a couple of Zayn's friends caught my eye. A guy named Niall, with blond hair, huge smile on his face and beer in his hand, he looked really friendly. Guy named Marco who looked at me like he could eat me. He had a really disgusting smirk plastered on his mouth.


The anxiety started slowly taking control of my body. I just couldn't bear it when somebody looked at me like that. It always reminded me of the guy who was the reason I stopped drinking and practically stopped going out of my house. Zayn was the only reason I tried to get better. I even lost my job after this and my mum still needed to pay for my flat.


Than Zayn introduced me to Harry, a guy with green eyes, curly hair and dimples, he also looked a little older than the rest of us. I won't deny the fact that he was really handsome.


I decided to have a little fun. It wasn't good to be the only miserable person in the club. Of course I still didn't want to drink, but trying to relax a bit and maybe even dance a little, wouldn't hurt anybody.




The party was going well for the most of the night, I had a lot of fun. I actually think I didn't laugh this much in almost a year.


After all the dancing I became a little thirsty, I decided to get some water, so I told Zayn that I'll be back in the minute.


When I got to the bar and ordered a water for myslef, I felt somebody pressing on me from the back, so I quickly turned around and saw Marco, who was smirking at me.


- Hello baby, can I buy you a proper drink? - Okay, that's weird. Why the hell did he think he could call me that.


- No thank you, I don't drink alcohol. - I said politely and tried to exit this situation, but he put his hands on my hips and pressed me to the counter, hard enough to leave bruises.


- You're no fun. Stop playing hard to get, baby. Let's get out of here, yeah? - It was all to much, I felt tears welling in my eyes. This can't be happening again. I should know that this party would be a disaster, I shouldn't be here. I started to fight him and tried to escape his grip, but he was just too strong.


- Marco what do you think you're doing? - I heard Harry's voice, he sounded like he was ready to skin Marco alive. - Let go of him or I'm going to fucking kill you.


- Oh come on Harry we can share him, he'll be a good boy toy. - The tears started falling out of my eyes. I hoped Harry wouldn't let him take me, I hoped he would do something to stop him.


Harry pulled Marco away from me and punched him in the face. Marco fell on the floor holding his bleeding nose.


- Are you okay, Lou? - Harry turned to me and asked with eyes full of worry. I just nodded and started to cry even more.


Harry took a hold of my hand and started to lead me to the booth we were sitting in. I realised that I shouldn't go there. I didn't want Zayn to worry and I didn't want the rest of his friends to see that I was crying.


I let go of Harry's hand. He turned go me and looked at me. A mix of confusion and worry visible on his face.


- I- I don't want them to see me. They're gonna be be asking what happened. I don't want to answer.. - I whispered. He seemed to be thinking for couple seconds.


- Okay, we can go to my house, get my car and I can drive you home. If that's okay with you, of course. - I just simply nodded. - I'll text Zayn that I'm taking you home, 'cause you don't feel good.


He pulled his phone out of his jeans, quickly sent a text and soon we were on our way to his house. Harry held my hand the whole way and I had to admit that it made me feel really safe at this moment.




When we got to Harry's house he opened the door and let me in.


- Do you want me to grab the keys and go, or would you like to stay a bit? - Many people would think that he asked me to stay for a while to do some sexual stuff, but I could see in his eyes that he actually cared and wanted me to just feel safe and rest.


- We can stay.


He smiled at me and we walked into the living room. We sat there for a while watching TV. I tried not to think about earlier, but I could see that Harry was deep in his thoughts.


- What are you thinking about?


- It's just.. I was thinking why would somebody do something like that. It's so wrong. - He said and buried his face in his hands.


- Yeah, it is.. But some boys are like that. - I said, looking down.


- Has- Has anything like that happened to you before today?


This question took me off guard. I didn't know if I should be honest with him or simply deny it.. So I just tried to avoid looking at him.


- Oh my god. I'm so sorry Lou. - Harry seemed to understand that it wasn't the first time it happened. He quickly hugged me almost crushing my bones. I knew that I was just seconds away from crying.


- It's okay, it happened a year ago.. - I choked out.


- No, of course it isn't okay. You don't deserve it, nobody does.. - He paused for a few moments and then asked. - Did they..? - He didn't need need to finish. I already

knew what he meant.

- Yes, he raped me. - I whisper told him, I was ready to be pushed away and called disgusting, but suddenly I heard Harry sob and he pulled me even closer.


We stayed like this for a while until Harry spoke.


- I- I'm never going to let that happen to you again. No one deserves it. I'm gonna be there for you, baby. - I pulled away slightly to look at his face. I could see that he really meant it.


- Thank you, Harry. - I whispered and pressed my lips against his in a light kiss.


Harry smiled and pulled me into his chest. It felt safe, it felt good.