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John was getting married.
He was his best man.
Occam’s razor said that he was drunk and that John was straight and in love with another woman.
Occam’s razor could go and bugger itself, he decided, even as he took a step back and said, “Behold the power of modern technology, Dr. Watson: we have an ipod!”
John’s eyes were too blue and he was too drunk and too close to stop pretending he wasn’t in love with his best friend.