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Strider Shit

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Some lame little cuddles.

            It had been the middle of the night, when you heard a thud come from somewhere in your room. After shaking off the covers, you found it to be numbingly cold, but the window was tightly closed. Nothing could have thudded down to wake you.

            It was just a dream, you tell yourself to relax. It doesn’t really help you when you wake up like this. It’d been reoccurring, from once every few months, to one a week, if you were lucky. And every time, you’d spew some bullshit to Bro about how it was outside, or that you’d actually slept fine. But this time was different. This time, the weight of it all knocked you straight to the floor, unable to recuperate and boost yourself up. Your limbs were much too heavy, your head heavier than anything else.

            Of course, in falling, you’d made a racket, not only with your own body, but with books falling from the shelves, and the various assorted things that made their own little noises. You silently prayed Bro would wake up, help you up. It was getting harder to think, with the cold, and the weight and the pain and oh my god the thoughts and no nightmares what was that fuck-

            And then your door slams open. You scream, because you’re scared. You didn’t know you could open your mouth at all, let alone make sounds. Then you’re swept off your feet, placed on the bed. This time, you refrain from screaming. You’d know the touch of Bro’s hands anywhere. They reassure you, make your breathing calm a bit, make your heart pound a little less aggressively, they make the tremors not wreck your body quite as hard. Something about him calms you down.

            He lies down next to you, bringing you to his chest. He rubs your back gently, reassuring you that ‘its okay, it’s okay. Just breathe.’ You sob quietly into his neck, not quite sure what you are sobbing over. He only ruffles your hair and brings you closer in reply. Eventually, you calm down enough to be able to breathe without choking or gagging on the air. Eventually, your thoughts stop pulsing as much; you’re able to think more clearly. Eventually, the tremors that overtook you quiet down to a dull, occasional, wave.

            This is the first time you’ve ever calmed down from this. Your arms are still wrapped tightly around his frame, your face still in the crook of his neck. Somehow, your feet ended up entangled in his, and this is where you felt most comfortable. This was the only place you felt honest to god safe.

            “Hey, Lil’ Bro, you okay?” He murmurs into your hair, still trying to relax you further.

            You try to reply, but it comes out choked and unintelligible, so you settle on taking a breath and talking slowly.

            “S-sorry. Sometimes I get like this and it gets worse and-“ You stopped, unwilling to explain further. It was impossible to get to the root of it, to the pure reason of it. It’d hurt too much to find out. Dirk takes it as enough, however, when he pats your back reassuringly.         

            “You want me to stay for the rest of the night?” He whispers, as if you were already asleep, and he was just asking for the sake of asking, for the sake of breaking the carefully executed silence.        

            You nod into his shoulder in reply, and try to sleep. You feel him running his fingers through your hair, rubbing your back, pulling you closer. You feel him start to drift off to sleep, and you try to follow suit.

            But regardless of how much he helped, sleep did not come easy. The only illumination was the soft glow of the sun, resting it’s light right on Dirk’s face. Peeking up, you observe the shallow breaths he took as if on cue, one coming after the other. You’ve never been so close to Dirk, his breath never settling quite so near your skin. It was now you noticed how pale his complexion really was, and the dusting of peach freckles across his skin.

            You’ve never really noticed how his hair could settle right on the bridge of his nose if not combed or how fair and soft it looked. He had a permanent smirk on his face, his lip slightly curling upwards on one side. His body was hot, keeping you warm, regardless of how cold it truly was, or the lack of blankets on either side of you.

            Blushing, you realize what you’d just been thinking.

            “Hey, you okay?” Dirk mumbled, in a sleep induced haze.

            “Y-yeah. I love you.”

            “I love you more. Never forget that, okay, Dave?” He said, ruffling your hair. You giggle, and realize that he didn’t even have to say it for you to know it.