The stars were twinkling wildly above them, dancing through the sky in dazzling shimmers of sliver, pinks and purples as they bounced off one another, lighting the skies above London for those few who are still awake to see it.
“It’s so clear up here; I’ve never seen the stars shine like this before.”
“That’s because I made them dance for you and only you, pretty lady.” He gently planted a kiss on her cheek as she lay there resting her head on his shoulder. She giggled happily, embarrassed.
“Are you always this much of a smooth talker?”
“Smooth talker? May I take that as a compliment, coming from you it’s hard to tell?” That cheeky, sexy smile edged onto his face as he placed his other arm under his head. He smiled, content with the way the evening was heading.
“You can take that anyway you like, although I doubt your ego needs boosting anymore.”
“I’ll tell you something else that doesn’t need much more boosting.” He slipped that in so unexpectedly that it caught her by surprise, as she lay there looking into his eyes, those brown eyes, she noticed that beneath that youthful, playboy sparkle exterior he always wore so well, was the pain and suffering he had endured and kept hidden beneath, but as clear as day for those who cared to look. He kissed her cheek, which she placed so invitingly right in front of him.
“Jack, is that all you think about?” she giggled as he caught her unaware.
“When I am around you Rose yes.”
He kissed her tenderly on the lips, this was not like the other countless one night stands he has, this is something he wasn’t used to feeling, not for only one person. He half expected her to pull away from him, but she didn’t, instead she kissed him back with so much passion that he was now lying there in pleasant surprise as she took his bottom lip between hers and gently nibbled it in between kisses. His eyebrows rising, he managed a smile between her attacks.
“Whoa, what got into you all of a sudden?” his American accent eliciting excitement from Rose as she moved to attacking his earlobe.
“I know what hasn’t got into me yet.” She muttered sub-consciously under her breath. She stopped dead, her face turning as red as the shirt she was wearing. “Did I say that out loud?” she asked mortified,
“Yeah, you did.” He couldn’t help but laugh as he saw the mortification spread across her face, she sat up and buried her head in her arms.
“There’s no need to be embarrassed.” But Rose didn’t pay any attention, she remained hidden from him.
“Do you remember the first time we met? It was right here, in this very spot, I caught you in my beam.” music started playing gently.
“Rose?” he held out his hand, the music had stirred her; she took his hand and stood up. Her eyes were darting everywhere, doing anything to avoid making contact with his. He saw her discomfort and pulled her close and they started moving gently to the music. She rested her head on his shoulder as they allowed the music to take them.
The hands of Big Ben ticked soothingly beside them as the minutes passed.
“Rose, wake up.”
Rose blinked furiously as the bright sunlight blazing down from the sky above blinded her. Her eyes watered and she was forced to protect her eyes with the back of her hand, she sat up on the deck chair, the gentle sound of waves getting louder as her senses returned to her. She looked to her right where the Doctor was sitting, sipping his drink.
“What’s that look for?” Rose said, she was still a little bewildered from her sudden removal from the world of dreams.
“Just what exactly were you dreaming of?” He teased; he rested his head back soaking up the sunlight.
“So that’s what you youngsters are calling it these days, nothing? That’s good to know.”
“I think you’ve had too much sunlight.” She said joking defensively as she took a sip of his drink, now placed on the table beside them.
“Did you know you talk in your sleep?” her smile faded slightly as she hesitated with the next sip.
“Yes, you do.” He slipped his glasses down his nose and peered knowingly at her from above the frames, a shimmer of intense emotion glimmered in his eyes.
“I think I might go for a swim.”
“I know what I haven’t got in me? Ring any bells?”
“Right.” He pushed the glasses back up his nose and returned to his sunbathing, a cheeky grin spread across his face as he could almost hear Rose blushing from the embarrassment. He heard her light footsteps gently splashing as she made her way towards the ocean.
“Would someone like to tell me why I am standing on a spaceship in front of Big Ben in the middle of an air raid?” The doctor stood, un-perplexed by what was happening around him, hands in pockets, slightly bouncing on the balls of his feet.
“Hello? Anyone?” he looked around, the explosions in the distance lit up the dusk sky as he waited.
“Excellent bottom.” Said a voice from behind, he turned to see a handsome young man standing there holding two glasses of champagne.
“Now that’s a face I wasn’t expecting to see again.”
“Admit it though, you’re glad you have. He flashed that charming smile and walked slowly towards the Doctor.
“Dare I say it, yes I am.”
Handing the doctor a glass, his now free hand found its way to the Doctor’s waist, he planted a small kiss on his cheek.
“I’ve wanted to do this for so long.” Jack whispered as he rested his head against the Doctor’s, eyes closed, they swayed to the music, playing gently from below.
“You left me on the satellite.”
“Yes. Sorry about that.”
“Sorry? Is that all I get?” Jack inquired, slightly agitated.
“What more do you want Jack?”
“Why would be nice.”
“I had my reasons.”
“You had your reasons.” He took a step backwards. “You had your reasons; well that just makes everything better doesn’t it?” Jack’s voice rose, the agitation turning to anger and hurt.
“You’re a fixed point in time and space, you’re a fact. That’s never meant to happen.” He placed his hands in his pocket, looking at Jack the whole time.
“How long have you known?” Jack asked,
“Since I ran away from you.” He paused as he saw the realisation dawned on Jack, “When did you realise?”
“Earth, 1892. I got into a fight on Ellis Island, a man shot me through the heart, then I woke up.” He said deflated. “I thought that was kinda strange, but then it never stopped. Fell of a cliff, trampled by horses, WWI, WWII, poison, starvation, stray Javelin. In the end I got the message, I’m the man who can never die.” He took a sip of his drink. “And all this time you knew.” His temper rising again, they stood, staring at each other. “Why, doc, why didn’t you ever tell me?”
The hands of the clock ticked menacingly beside them as the seconds passed. The hand hit twelve; the Chimes of Big Ben began, slowly.
The Doctor woke up with a start, alarming Rose who had returned to her lounger beside him. She lifted her glasses to look at him, squinting as the sun light blinded her. She dropped her glasses back down on her face, quickly realising her mistake.
“You okay?” she asked concerned.
“No, just….” He looked at Rose, there’s no way he could tell her that dream. She’d never forgive him for leaving Jack there, no matter the reason.
“Oh never mind that why-“ he stopped suddenly, “What did you just say?”
“No before that.”
“Bad dreams?” The doctor became transfixed; his mind wondered away completely.
“Are you sure you’re feeling alright” Rose asked putting down her magazine and moving her legs over the side of her lounger.
He shook himself out of his reverie “Yes of course I’m fine.”
“Well?” Jack spat, clearly fed up of having to wait so long for an answer. The doctor looked at him, confused,
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“OK, this is really weird.” The Doctor said looking around him.
Jack still standing there was beginning to loose his self-control and he wanted answers to questions that had been brewing in his mind for far too long,
“Is this real? This can’t be real.” The doctor said again, ignoring Jack’s body language.
“Don’t, just don’t.”
“You are always doing this, acting as if there is something bad going on just to get out of answering questions you do want to discuss.” Jack threw the glass of the side of the ship.
“Careful, that could hit someone bel-“
“I don’t care about them right now.” Jack exploded all his hurt and anger aimed directly at the Doctor.
“This isn’t real.” He replied, calmly.
“No, it’s not? Well tell me if this is real.” Jack launched himself at him with all his force, his fist making contact with the Doctor’s cheek causing him to fall to the floor with a thump. Jack breathing heavily, paced up and down, trying to swallow his anger.
“Yeah, that felt real.” The Doctor said quietly, shocked as he rubbed his face, getting up. “900 years of time and space and I’ve never been walloped quite like that.”
“Well?” Jack ignored his comments.
“Look, I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want to but - .”
“But you did.”
“It was a Time Lord’s instinct, you’re wrong; you’re not meant to be.”
“Yeah you said that already.”
Jack pulled on of the chairs closer towards him and sat down.
“Did you have to just leave me though? I trusted you. I thought we were friends, I die to help you and you just run, like a coward.” The Doctor looked up; they made eye contact, a lifetime of guilt flared in the Doctor’s eyes. Jack saw this and he knew he had touched a nerve. His anger dissipated, but his pain remained.
“Why didn’t you warn me? Give me a heads up? Let me know, something.”
The Doctor pulled up a chair beside him; he didn’t say anything as the minutes began to tick softly on the clock behind them.
“What is wrong with you today, you’re more agitated than normal?” Rose asked looking up from the magazine she was reading, as the Doctor sighed, sitting on the edge of the lounger, he massaged his neck. The frown on his face saying it all, he didn’t reply.
“Nothing, nothing at all.” Without looking at Rose he lay back, put both his arms under his head. Rose uncertainly went a lay beside him, she placed her arm around him and finding that he didn’t pull away, edged closer and closer to him until their bodies met. He put his hand on hers, the touch of his soft skin sent Goosebumps all over her, excitement followed immediately after as her body shivered with it. His grip on her hand tightened. She began to kiss his neck, for a few moments he allowed her to continue. He turned around and rolled her on top of him, she giggled as he held her hip, she leaned in closer not quite making it fully to his lips. He made the rest of the distance and their lips met, they were both still a little hesitant, but the longer they remained joined like this, the more their feelings intensified. His excitement became very apparent when it started to press against her, seated as she was on top of him. They removed the barrier that was their clothing, and once both were fully naked lying in the golden sunshine on a warm summer’s day, they began exploring each others anatomy to the full delight of conjoined pleasure.
The ticking behind broke painfully into the deep silence that now befell the two, sitting high above the streets of London.
“The last thing I remember, back when I was mortal, I was facing three Daleks, death by extermination and then I was alive. What happened?”
“I thought you sent her home?”
“She came back. Opened the heart of the TARDIS and absorbed the time vortex itself.”
“And what does that mean?” Jack had calmed down, the soft ticking behind gave a melancholy atmosphere between them both. Earlier events, although not forgotten, were irrelevant now.
“No-one’s ever supposes to be able to do that, but she’s human and what she did was so human.”
“That was Rose.” Jack smiled; the Doctor looked at him and smiled in agreement.
“She bought you back to life, but she couldn’t control it and she bought you back forever. That’s something I suppose, the final act of the Time War was life.”
“Rose.” He repeated tenderly, he cupped her face in his hands.
“Jack.” She said weakly as her arms fell to his bottom.
“Oh hello,” he teased as she squeezed. Their lips met again, and again, and again. Their breathing increased as their passion grew. Jack picked up Rose, and span her round, they laughed, and they kissed. Their lips and tongues danced together. Rose wrapped her legs around Jack; he gripped her thighs to hold her better. There was no sound around them, they heard nothing except the breathing and excited sighs of the other, even Big Ben could not be heard. Rose’s stomach, already doing somersaults, catapulted as she found herself lying on her back, Jack lying comfortably half on top of her, half beside her. His hand ventured its way up her body, resting on her breast where he squeezed gently causing Rose’s excitement to flare. She removed his jacket, how she did not know, her hands were shaking the result of an atomic mix of emotions whirling around inside her. She stumbled on his shirt buttons. Jack however, had no such problem, he removed her top his ease, her jeans equally so. She shivered in her semi-naked state, lying high above in the skies of London.
Jack placed his coat out next to her, and with a move so swift he moved her onto the coat. He moved his hand all along her body, whilst she continued to undo his shirt, finally she managed to add it to her clothes lying happily abandoned beside them. Her hands made their way up the small of his back, to the base of his neck while his hands started their journey back down her body, he caressed her inner thigh, and she shivered with anticipation. He slowly nudged her legs apart; his fingers mastered their way around her. Her breathing deepened as his wanderings intensified, she was soon crying out in pleasure, he didn’t desist. Her cries of passion elicited a flood of emotions in Jack, he kissed her and unzipping his pants he entered her. Rose arched as he hit the spot.
Her screams of pure passion became mingled with the Chimes of the clock face towering above them.
“Do you think she could change me back?” Jack asked the Doctor, a wishful longing blended with a curious dread.
“I took the power out of her. Cost me a regeneration to do, hence the new face. She’s gone Jack, she’s not just living on a parallel world, and she’s trapped there. The walls have closed.”
“Yeah.” The Doctor turned away to hide the tears he couldn’t stop from falling.
“I went back to her estate in the 90s just once or twice, watched her growing up, never said hello, timelines and all that.”
“Do you want to die?” the Doctor asked suddenly, taking Jack by surprise for a moment. “Jack?”
“I thought I did. I don’t know.”
“Well, on the bright side you can have your own company for ever. You’re the only man you’ll ever be happy with.”
“Oh I don’t know, there is one other out there.”
“Yeah, when he is not leaving me stranded on a satellite with nothing but Dalek dust for company.”
“Me?” he said, pretending to be surprised.
“This new generation, it’s kinda cheeky. I like it.” He grabbed the Doctor’s face and kissed him.
Big Ben Chimed, but Jack didn’t let him go, and the doctor didn’t resist.
Rose took a deep breath as she stirred from her sleep, the mellow glow still alight in her eyes. She stretched and snuggled closer to his naked, warm body as they remain in the sunlight, after a few moments, her mind returned to the dream she just had, a sudden river of guilt flooded over her, and she became disgusted that she could have such dreams about another man whilst she was still lying in the arms of her true love. The Doctor kissed her tenderly on the forehead, she looked up at him, and one small tear fell down his cheek.
“What’s wrong?” Rose asked concerned, momentarily brushing aside her own self-examination.
“Nothing, just a dream.” He pulled her closer and kissed her again, he looked endearingly, lovingly into her eyes.
“Rose, could you ever forgive me?” he whispered quietly, more to himself than to her as he rested her head on his shoulder,
“For what?” she asked, concerned. He began idly moving her hair behind her ear as she waited for his response.
“I.” he swallowed, not finishing his sentence.
“Doctor?” she raised herself onto her elbow, she examined his face, that young face which has seen more loss then can be thought of. He hesitated, but he couldn’t much longer, he knew there was only one way forward with this, no beating around the bush. All or nothing.
“Jack?” she repeated, her guilt returned suddenly. “What about him?”
“He didn’t stay there to give everyone a chance?”
Rose didn’t move, where was this heading? This question was clearly visible on her face.
“What I mean was, he died, but he’s not now.”
“He’s not what??”
“But you just said he was.”
“I’m not explaining this very well am I?”
“No, not really.”
“On Satellite five, he died, the Daleks killed him. When you absorbed the vortex you bought him back to life.”
“I bought him back to life?”
“Yes.” He looked grave.
“But that’s a good thing.”
“I’m sorry, but it’s not.”
“You didn’t have control of the vortex. You bought him back to life, yes, but you bought him back to life for ever.”
“Jack is now immortal. He can never die.”
“But how is that your fault?” she asked as she tried to processed everything he has just said to her.
“That’s not but….” He stopped, he couldn’t say.
“Where is he now?”
“That’s the point. I don’t know.”
“Well where did you drop him off?”
“I didn’t.” her frown posed enough of a question. “I didn’t take him anywhere. I left him there, Rose and I ran.”
Rose sat up, she turned away from him. Neither spoke, for a few painfully long minutes, they sat there, in silence. Rose, resting her arms in her lap as tears fell silently down her cheek. The Doctor now propped up on his arm hesitated as he moved to comfort her. The waves hitting the sandy shore in gentle hushed tones, sounded deafening over the silence that now fell between them. The doctor placed his hand on her back,
“Don’t alright.” She stood up quickly, pushing his arm away. “Just don’t.” She started pacing, as the realisation of everything he said came crashing down on her like a falling palm tree. Realising that she was still naked, she rummaged through the pile of clothes beside them looking for her bikini, she found only the bottom half and put it on. She grabbed his shirt and not bothering to hide the tears falling down her face, she put that on too. The doctor jumped up and tried to hold her,
“You left him? You just left him? After everything, after all the people you saved. You leave him there?”
“Rose you have to understand.”
“How can I understand that?”
“Look he – “
“What?” she exploded powerfully enough for him to take a slight motion backwards.
“It was a mistake, Rose, I know that now.”
“Why was it a mistake?”
“Why did you do it?” she spat with as much venom as she could muster.
“He was never suppose to happen, no-one is ever supposed to live for ever, not even me. He has become a fixed moment in time. He is wrong.”
“He was a friend and you the amazing doctor, always saving lives, just hi-tail it and run?”
“What good would it have –“
“What good did it do just leaving him there?”,
“None, it did none.” The Doctor sighed in defeat. “It did none.” He sat on the edge of the lounger. Tears streaming down her face, she bit her top lip. She stood watching him, the longer she looked, the more the anger turned to hurt.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t know how, I didn’t want this to happen.” He looked up at her standing beside him, away from him, but there still beside him as always. The anger deflated as she noticed tears also rolling down his face. Their eyes met, but her piercing gaze was too much for him, he looked away. “I was ashamed.”
“I save people, yes, that’s what I do.” He rose, emotions now flooding through him, “but I also have to make decisions, extremely difficult decisions that I don’t want to. I have to choose, for the greater good. I –“ He took a breath, “I use my instinct, my Time Lord instinct. That’s how I choose, I let that lead me.” he didn’t realise he had begun pacing, he stopper and turned back to Rose, “My instinct told me to run. So I ran.” They looked at each other, holding their gaze. Rose saw a battlefield of emotion erupting behind those eyes, in turn the doctor no longer saw anger, disgust or distrust, instead he saw pity, but mostly he saw love.
He walked slowly back over to the sun lounger and sat down. He didn’t say anything, what more was there to say? Rose likewise, remained silent but she joined him. He kept his eyes to the sand as she sat beside him. He could feel her gaze on him, but he didn’t look. He couldn’t look. They sat there in silence for a long while. A cold breeze started to make its way upon the air. Rose shivered, this woke the doctor from his thoughts, he picked up the blanket lying on the sand beside them and placed it around her. She took the blanket and gave a gentle smile in appreciation.
“What bought all this on now?
He leaned back, propping himself up onto his arm he hesitated as to whether he should actually tell her.
“I had a dream.” Rose turned sharply to look at him.
“A dream? About Jack?”
“Well, I suppose you can call it that.”
“What else could you call it?”
“An examination of consciousness, that just happened to be when I was asleep.”
“A dream.” She said with assurance.
“Although it didn’t feel like a dream, there was something about it, but never mind that.”
“So you saw Jack?” she asked quietly, an alternative motive hidden underneath.
“He punched me.”
“He punched you?!” she exclaimed smiling, “blimey, you really must have hurt him.”
“It was well earned.” He looked down at his fingers, he couldn’t make eye contact with her, he couldn’t bear to see that look she fired at him earlier, not from her, he just couldn’t, not again.
Rose looked at him and examining his face, her heart softened.
“I know I exploded at you earlier. I should have known you had your reasons.” She leaned back and propped herself up on her arm, mirroring him. “I was just annoyed you never told me the truth.” At this he looked up, he cupped her face in his hands, as if holding a delicate flower, which she was.
“My Rose.” he pulled her closer and kissed her. She was annoyed with him, but she couldn’t resist his touch, she couldn’t deny the burning love she had for him.
They leaned back, and looked up at the gradually setting sun. He placed his arm under her head, as she snuggled up closer to him. She took a deep breath, inhaling his smell, his soft-skin so enticing at this distance she found it difficult to resist. Running her fingers across his chest, she could feel the beating of both his hearts racing as his feelings were being enhanced by her every touch.
“I also dreamed about Jack.” She let it slip before she could stop herself; she wanted to tell him but not like that, not blurting it out in a moment like this.
“Oh?” he started running his fingers through her soft, flowing hair.
“Yes.” This response came out so weakly, she didn’t continue.
“Your dream was an exciting one was it?” Her examination of his stomach and chest stopped suddenly, he could feel her blushing as she buried her face into his shoulder.
“No, not really.” It was so unconvincing; she knew he didn’t buy it.
“You said, and I quote, ‘I know what I haven’t got in me.” He was teasing her.
“Look, it didn’t mean anything.”
“I don’t love Jack I love you.” She blurted it out so quickly she didn’t have time to take in his comment, she stopped. “You know?”
“Yes. I mean, of course you’re attracted to him, that obvious. I guess we both had unfinished business with Jack.”
The Doctor got up and walked over to edge of the tide, now getting closer and closer to them as the evening moved on. Placing his hands in his pockets he looked out over the horizon, a few moments later he looked back to Rose who was still laying enticingly on lounger. He flicked his head, ushering her over to him. Rose stood up and walked towards him, he watch her, their eyes met. The sparks of lust ignited in them both. She taunted him, her pace slowed or so it seemed, giving him time to take in every part of her he could see, her toes and perfectly painted nails as the made contact with the sand, her stomach shining enticingly as the sunlight hit the oil she had on her. That little bikini always got his heart racing. Time sped up as she came closer. When she was in reach, he grabbed her arms and spun her around, her laugh he found thoroughly intoxicating. He turned her around so they were both looking out across the waves, his arms made their way around her stomach and she placed her arms on his They stood together swaying gently to music only they could hear. He nuzzled her neck, planting kisses as he went.
“Rose Tyler” he said barely above a whisper, he took her hand turning her around to face him, he stroked it gently with his thumb and planted a gentle kiss on the back. Rose smiled; he loved that smile, the way it edges onto her face from one side first, how her eyes, her whole face twinkles with happiness.
“Mmm?” she said entirely content in this moment.
“Rose Tyler.” He looked into her eyes and still holding her hand he pulled her closer. She didn’t resist, she wanted this, he could tell. He placed his other hand around her waist, pulling her even closer. Their bodies met, he could feel her warm skin against his bare stomach. He ached to have her.
“Boy am I glad you made me wear shorts.” He started kissing her cheek, her ear, her cheek and down to her neck. Slowly. Passionately. Lustfully.
“Huh?” Rose said confused, that was not what she was expecting to hear in the height of the moment.
“Your skin, against mine, I’m finding it hard to breath.”
“I’m regretting saying no to the Speedo’s now.” she smiled, he smiled. They were moving slowly, her lips almost upon his, they looked longingly into each other eyes, she could feel his breath, he could almost taste her lips.
“You are burning up.” She could feel that, she needed no answer. He could resist no longer, he kissed her, she kissed him back. Colours danced around them as they embraced each other, fervently.
The Doctor opened his eyes, the all to familiar control room blurred into shape and as he gathered his senses he whispered to himself “Why didn’t I just say it, 5 little words.” Rose Tyler, I love you.”
Rose opened her eyes, the soft sand below her and the gentle sun above blurred into shape and as she gathered her senses, she whispered to herself, “Why couldn’t he just say it, 5 little words, “Rose Tyler I love you.”