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Burning Rings of Fire

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Kanye West's pants dropped to the ground as the famous rap star loosed his willie and sprayed forth a stream of golden liquid onto a grave.

"Yo, Johnny, I'mma gonna let you rest in peace, but I have some of the best songs of all time! Of all time!" he exclaimed, pissing away onto the burial site of another famous musician.

A skeleton hand punched out of the grave, and with a forceful grab, the hand ripped West's wiener clean off! Blood and piss sprayed out of the former manhood like a fountain as a stunned Kanye fell to the ground in shock. The hand then pulled back into the ground, soon replaced by a skull...and then a neck, and then the whole skeleton rose out of the Earth! Its tattered all-black suit clung desperately to the bones as it leapt into the air, and Kanye brought his pants back up to run away from the emasculatory zombie attacking him! As blood continued to spurt from his traumatized tender area, he leapt into his Tesla Model S and pulled it back into gear.

But the skeleton had other ideas! It stuck its finger into the charging port, sucking out all the electrons from its 100 kilowatt-hour traction battery pack. The sucking was so sudden, so forceful even, that the whole car crumpled into a ball, trapping West inside like a birdcage. The energy made the skeleton glow an orange aura as it rolled the ball of Elon Musk's seed all across Hendersonville, Tennessee, and the ball snowballed in size as it absorbed cars and buildings and lights and garbage, and soon the whole town was a giant sphere of debris rolling across Tennessee, with a crushed Kanye at the very core, being pushed along by a most demented creature.

All the human flesh, save for Kanye, because he's a less than human piece of shit, trapped inside the ball melted into glowing blue particles which phased out of the ball and flew into the glowing-orange skeleton. Soon, the flesh began reforming around the skeleton, rebuilding its former body and mind, and soon a rescuscitated Johnny Cash stood before the great orb of detritus his bones had left! Cash stuck out his right hand, and in it materialized his prized guitar, hewn from Satan's horns. He stuck out his left, and the Crown of Thorns appeared in hand. Cash leapt atop the ball, and began unravelling the Crown to use as guitar strings - then, from his tattered pocket, he withdrew the hardened, crusty fossilized remains of Jesus Christ's foreskin, and with it he strummed his Great Holy Guitar.

"La, la la la, la la la la...Katamari Damacy~" Cash crooned as he stood atop the ball, rolling it further into the sunset across the Tennessee landscape.