Luke wasn't exactly sure how to tell Han. Especially now in the fragile stages of...whatever this was.
And it wasn't exactly easy with his father hanging around at every possible moment, at every second. “Father and Son bonding” he says.
Luke clipped his belt, righting it so it wasn't hanging at an awkward angle. He's been staying in a apartment in Imperial City, investigating the old Jedi Temple. He wanted to communicate to those who had fallen but the only ghost to shown up was-
Luke turned from the window, staring at Anakin. He tightened his hand. “While I do appreciate this constant need from you, you do realize that I need my space.”
Anakin, in loose Jedi robes and tousled hair, was leaning against the table. Suddenly he had turned deaf to the world. "I'm sorry, repeat that again? Your voice gets fuzzy through the connection.”
So Luke did what he always did, and walked passed him and through the doors. He was meeting Han at the Falcon because there was something he needed to do.
Luke needed to go to Naboo.
Leia wasn't coming, and he didn't blame her. If he wanted to be honest with himself, Luke wasn't sure how he felt about this adventure. But when his father told him about Padme Amidala and how she, a queen at 14, was Luke's mother, he knew he needed to at least visit her.
Or, more likely, meet the women.
With a sealed jar in his prosthetic hand, he shut the door to the apartment and traveled down the hall to the elevator.
“Son, what are you doing?” His father asked besides him. Probably wondering if his ashes were going to be flushed into space.
Luke pressed the button to the hanger. “After all this time, have you yet to trust me?”
“I do trust you, but I'm not sure that your mental sanity is trustworthy.”
Luke refrained from answering and instead stared heavily at the elevators buttons. Ever since his fathers redemption, Anakin had been spending more then enough time with Luke. At first is was only for moments at a time-appearing and leaving before Luke could get a real look at him.
Anakin had aged-sometimes he could be a young man and other times he would be full of grey hair. As time went on and Luke would openly say it was alright if he stayed Anakin had deemed on a form of his mid-age.
Apparently age automatically means one is allowed to lecture about mental sanity even if said-lecture had one of the longest periods of rage and depression and down right murder in recorded organized galactic history. But Luke was not going to get into this argument again. He was calm. Collected.
Thank the Force the elevator dinged after what feels like an eternity.
The ship hanger was scattered with space crafts here and there. Over the past two years and as the Empire finally crumbled after the battle of Jakku life forms had become more and more comfortable of traveling to the Core Worlds. Luke passed many of eyes that wanted to get a good look at him.
Honestly, he was just a man holding a jar. About a dozen people saw him (purposefully) trip down a flight of stairs last week yet he still hears whispers of his "legendary" powers. If only they saw Leia throw a wad of papers at his head in a jokingly manner a time ago. Mighty Jedi indeed.
The Falcon was the tallest, surprisingly, in this array of ships. Said mighty Jedi kept his pace perfectly slow when he saw Han sitting on a crate as if he didn't have a care in the world. Beside him was an array of patching tools and Luke could see the freshly covered hole in the bottom of the ship. Han was smiling as Luke came to him, reached out to Luke has he got closer. "Mornin'." Han said, keeping his grin.
Luke returned the smile, shifting the jar to one arm so he could lean on Hans upper chest, who I'm turned wrapped his own arms around Luke's waist.
Luke leaned his head down and lightly pressed his lips against Hans. “Morning.”
This had happened over...not a long time. Luke has never been great with keeping dates or time periods and Han was most definitely not as charming as he fooled himself to be. Luke would truthfully compare it to a (very handsome) slug. Yet slug or not that had found their way to each other between the grief and the celebrations (and very blunt observations of a not-bias senator of the New Republic).
Luke enjoyed these little moments of just them, but he knew he needed to go. He shifted backwards, still standing between Hans legs and leaned one arm against the captains shoulder. “Are you sure you want to come all the way to Naboo with me?”
“Course Kid. What else am I goin’ do? Find someone to braid hair with?” Han stood and pulled away, walking towards the entrance of the Falcon. "I'm guessing anyone who wants you dead would assume your anywhere but with me.
“I wouldn't really count on that assumption. You two have been spotted many times over the years.” Anakin said from besides Luke.
Luke gave him a intense stare, but didn't comment. This wasn't the place that he was going to tell Han.
He turned away from his father walked up the ramp, holding the jar close to him.
Luke couldn't believe how green and lush Naboo looked, even from space. He tightened his hand on Han’s, not realizing it until Han winced.
He pulled away, but was only to be grabbed again. Han looked over. “Kid, you've been through hell and back. You deserve to be a little excited at seeing your mother's home planet.”
Luke smiled, so grateful for him. Yet he was also fearful. How does one casually bring up a huge kriffing load of family drama? Dating in Tattooine was easy. You look at someone and if they don't annoy you as much as the next person you go for a date until eventually you went out with the full 4 people you're age. Most settled.
Anakin was silent besides them. “So this, this was your idea.”
He debated a while how he was going to tell Han that his father was Darth Vader, the same man who killed thousands of people, who the galaxy thinks Luke murdered.
But he needed to be honest with Han. After years of ignoring whatever he felt for the scruffy man, the attraction and longing, Luke was going to clear his entire plate.
And hope for the best.
They were silent until they landed at the correct coordinates Anakin gave to Luke earlier. When they were cleared to exit, Luke took a deep breath. “My father was a Jedi.”
Han turned, one eyebrow up. “Yeah, I know that. Like I know that you and Leia are twins. Which, by the way, I still can't wrap my head around.”
“Yeah, me neither. I thought that I was only having a girl. Not that I wouldn't or don't love you, Son.” Anakin said following them.
Luke smiled as they walked off the ship, and he opened himself to the Force in hopes he would be able to feel his mother's grave.
Anakin shook his head. “It wouldn't work anyway, Son. Just follow me.”
It was all of his will not for Luke to reach out to him, or to even speak to his father. But he couldn't, not yet.
The planets moon shined over the trail they were going. The hanger they were in was the Royal base, and being honorary heroes and what not, they were more then welcome to use it.
“There's more to it then that.” Luke said. He started to walk after his father and kept close enough that he could hear what he was telling Han. “Technically speaking, Leia and I are not suppose to exist.”
“Do not remind me of the old ways.” Anakin called.
“It was against the old Jedi code. No emotions, no attachments.” Luke continued. He looked forward. “Of course, I intend to change that for obvious reasons.”
He felt Hans smile. True it was partly due to his own relationship, but it was also because of his father. No love has turned his heart black,and without it the death of who knows how many.
They were curving around the castle, a large settlement. Luke knew he had cousins here, aunts and uncles and maybe a grandparent. He felt it, but now wasn't the time to explore his bloodlines. But one day he will.
“My mother and my father meet young. I'm not exactly sure how they met originally, but I know my father fell in love instantly.”
Anakin nodded. “I was nine.”
“He was nine.”
Han turns to him, confusion clear on his face. “He was that young?”
Luke shrugged. “I'm guessing when you know, you know. But I digest.”
The fields were beautiful, green and luscious. Four years off of Tatooine and yet Luke was sure he would never get over just how much life could thrive naturally off of one planet. The grave was a decent distance away from the castle, but it was open to the public to give their prayers.
“My mother was very young herself, fourteen. Of course I'm.sure she didn't fall for my father that young-”
“She called me her brother.”
“- but she was very mature for her age. Her name was Padme Amidala.” He stopped when he felt Hans hand on his shoulder.
Luke turned towards him and smiled. “Too surprising?”
Han shook his head. “Kid, when I was a kid I was learning about her. If I'm not over exaggeratin’, and if your telling me the truth, your mother was the Padme Amidala.” suddenly he turned around.
Luke nodded. “Yeah, that Padme. Queen of Naboo.”
Han stared at him, as if in new light. “Queen of…” suddenly he gave a half crooked smile. “Does that mean you're a prince?”
Luke sighed, but didn't resist when Han stepped up to him for a kiss. “And if you're a prince, I must be the dashing peasant who won your heart.”
Luke smiled, but shook his head. “I'm not sure if that's how it worked Han. And remember, I grew up a farmer.”
“About that.” Han leaned back. “I'm not doubting you, I've heard stranger, but there was never any news of the Queen being pregnant, even after her term.” he was about to ask more questions, but Anakin was standing off to the side and tapping his foot.
Luke grabbed his hand and pulled him forward. “No more comments about my being a prince or not. Let me complete my story.”
Han smiled and stole one more kiss, but remained silent.
“My father, as you know, was Anakin Skywalker. He was, from what I've heard, a Commander during the Clone Wars.”
“They called me the Hero with no Fear.”
“He was called the Hero with no Fear.” Luke added. “He and Obi-Wan, or Ben as we met him, we're Jedi's to call at any moment. The whole galaxy depended on them, of course it would. They were close as can be, everything to each other. “
Anakin was silent, listening in to the story. He was leading the group through a large gateway, and they were greeted to wide garden of multi color flowers.
“But, my father felt under-appreciated. He had so many emotions because he wasn't taken from birth as most Jedi were. Usually a newborn is detected if they are Force-able or not. Somehow he was under the radar.” Luke didn't bother to mention how Anakin was the most powerful Force- user, and how he himself had inherited those abilities.
“Years had past and he met my mother once again. He was nineteen now, and she twenty four and a senator for Naboo. He was assigned to protect but and my guess is they fell in love shortly. Well, my.mother at least. Anakin never stopped.”
Han was silent and Luke was grateful. He could see a slab of stone ahead of them.
“They had to hide their relationship for years, because Anakin was part of the Jedi order and could face being expelled if he admitted their love. So, afraid to tell Obi-Wan, he turned to a mad man who abused Anakin's trust and used twisted his thoughts. But, once back from a mission after killing a Sith by the name of Dooku, my mother informed that she was pregnant. A few months along, 8 infact.”
Anakin stopped walking and turned towards Luke to meet his eyes. “It was the best day of my life.”
Luke smiled, but walked on. He had to finish.
“But he was scared, despite it being the best day of his life. What of the Jedi, what if his child was taken from him like he was from his own mother by a Jedi. In result of that he had nightmares which he thought were visions. They were of my mother dying in childbirth.”
They were close to the grave.
“And he tried to prevent it, but he kept getting angry and angry, until…” Luke took deep breath. “Until he fell to the Darkside.”
Anakin was walking next him now. His head was down.
“Later he was redeemed though. Anyway, fast forward until he sees my mother. Han, the Darkside is not merely just a shadowy part of the Force. It influences you to become the worse you can be, it says it's more powerful only because you have no more restraint. I will admit, I have been tempted to use it. When I was fighting Vader I was tempted, when I lost my hand I was tempted. But I didn't because of you and Leia.”
The grave was tall and strong. On the stone was his mother's name and how well of a queen she was.
Han grabbed Luke's free hand. But he didn't say anything, just being there for him.
“There was a fight and a misunderstanding, which lead to my father to being hurt. But my mother was...she was...from what I heard from Obi-Wan, who was there when I was born, infact he was the first person to hold me, she died of a broken heart. “
Anakin was staring at Luke. He shook his head. “No Luke, don't do this. I killed her, I know this.”
“She named Leia and I.” Luke said to Anakin. “She lived long enough to give birth to us and name us, days after the miscommunication.”
His father was silent, mouth slightly open. But Luke turned towards Han and smiled. “That wasn't the end for my father.”
He took a deep breath and focused on the flowers on the grave. “We met, nineteen years later. We didn't know it at the time, but he was my father and I his son. From what I know he went a few years after that before he was informed of my survival.”
“Twenty one years.” Anakin said quietly. “I thought I killed you for twenty one years.”
“He was convinced he killed me for twenty one years. I was convinced he died along with my mother. But it wasn't true. I didn't know he was alive until he told me after he uh...after a mis-fortunate reunion. It was on Bespin, after he cut off my hand.”
Luke felt Han freeze next to him, but he didn't want to look at him. Not yet.
“He set up a bounty for me and we all thought it was to kill me for blowing up the Death Star but he wanted me to rule at his side, to destroy the Emperor and have the galaxy for us. As father and son. But I resisted and continued my training with Yoda. After saving you from Jabba and going to Endor, I told you guys I was going to fight him. It wasn't my plan, not really.”
Luke shook his head and looked down to the jar. It held his father's ashes. “I tried to get him to come with me, to escape and destroy the Empire from my side. He told me it was too late, and that he must return to his master.” Luke smiled. “He became a slave to Darth Sidious as well to the Darkside.”
He walked away from Han, and placed a hand on his mother's grave. He shook his head. “We fought, and I almost killed him. I almost kill my father, he knew it, I knew it, and the Emperor did too. And that was his plan. But I'm wasn't a slave to him, I wasn't going to murder my father because of my anger. He was a Jedi, as am I. That's all I ever wanted, was to be like my father. When I was a orphan on Tatooine I wanted to fly like him, when I found out he was a hero I wanted to save people like him. But I didn't.”
He rubbed his cheeks, tears spilling. He licked his lips. “I was, I was so close to dying when I threw my saber from me. The Emperor kept attacking me and I was on my last limb when my father stopped him. He sacrificed himself so I could live.”
He turned to Han. Han, who was staring at him bewildered. Mouth gaped, he tried to say a few words but they failed him.
Luke nodded almost as if he could read Han's mind.
“My father was Darth Vader, the Sith lord who terrorized the galaxy after saving it. He thought he was saving it. He died with the Emperor, and Anakin Skywalker died on my arms. He came back from the Darkside. All he ever wanted was his family, he wanted to keep those he loved close to him. And he sacrificed himself, so I can come back to my family.”
He glanced behind him. His father was fully formed, as well as he could be. Anakin was staring at Luke with tears running down his own aged face which remained stoic. Huh. Like never noticed he has a lazy eye.
“Darth Vader has a ending he did not expect. He simply died. He is redeemed. This does not excuse his actions but he will have to live with those for the rest of eternity. He is with the Force, and he can now be with his children, his wife, and whatever Obi-Wan and he was. He does not deserve forgiveness, but I give it to him anyway. Partly because he is my father, but mostly because I understand how easy it is to be seduced. He deserves understanding from those willingly hear his story.”
Luke looked down at the jar. “And he will lay with my mother.”
He felt a hand on his shoulder. Luke almost forgot that Han was here. He turned to face him, but he was hesitant to look up.
Instead Han wrapped him in a hug a brought him to his chest. He was solid and warm besides Luke. He rested his head just at Han's shoulder when the man asked "So is he here now? With the ah Force?"
Luke jumped, surprised at Hans question. But he nodded. “He's always with me. Always. It's sometimes annoying."
Han cleared his throat and looked up in a general area. It wasn't near Anakin, but his father moved so he was in Hans point of view. “Uh, hello, Vader.”
“Anakin.” Luke automatically corrected.
“Anakin.” Han repeated. “I know that you, that you kind of murdered a lot, and your life was crummy, and I'm not so keen on forgiving you yet, but. Thank you, for saving Luke.”
Luke pulled away, but still in Hans arms. “You don't care that my father is Darth Vader?”
“I didn't care before, I don't care now. Genetics don't make the person.”
Luke was...surprised to say the least. It took him a very long time to accept who his lineage was with and even longer to look in any reflected surface. How could Han stand to look at him?
Luke heard a wet snort, and he turned to see his father wiping his nose. “I think he likes you.”
“I actually don't, I think he's a idiot who's going to drag you into many instances that will tempt your life, and had made me very confused on which one of you two he's dating.”
"Raving about you as he speaks."
Han smiled against Luke's hair. “I'm sure.” he paused for a moment. “How are you doing it?”
“Leaving his…” he trailed off and gestured to the jar, looking at Luke.
Luke turned back to the grave and took a few steps forward. “I was thinking about leaving it, but someone could take it. I was going to spread his ashes, but they could blow away.”
Anakin stepped into his view suddenly. “Luke, I don't deserve this. You have already given me too much.”
But Luke ignored him and kneeled down besides his mother's grave. He started to dig with his hands.
The jar wasn't that big, simple medium size. Han kneeled besides him and started to dig too.
Anakin was besides them, trying to talk Luke out of the idea. “Luke, please, I don't deserve this kindness. She doesn't deserve to be next to a monster.”
Having enough of this, Luke snapped his head up. “If you keep trying to talk me out if this, I'm going to spread your ashes in a garbage shoot full of sand.”
“I deserve worse!”
Luke looked over at Han. “Sorry, he's trying to talk me out of this.” he grabbed the jar besides him, holding it in his hand. He ran his thumb back and forth on it.
It was warm, as if the ashes were fresh from the fire pyre. Luke pressed his lips against it. "I burned his armor and with it the name of Darth Vader. May the name of Anakin Skywalker be a light that guides the Jedi for generations to come… Rest well, father. The Force is with you.” He dug the hole just a bit wider and set his father in to finally sleep next to his mother. He felt as tho his forgiving nature may have come from her and she would be satisfied with this. Anakin's hand was on top.of Luke's and he looked up. His father reached out and coed the aide of Luke's head. "You're too good to have come from a man like me. How did I ever have a part in creating you?"
Luke blushed and looked down, then at Han who was staring at him. “Any reactions?”
Han smiled and leaned forward but stopped a few centimeters away. “Would your father kill me if I kiss you over his grave?”
“Yes.” Anakin said.
But Luke leaned forward and met Hans mouth. After a moment he back away. “Yes.” he said simply.
“Worth it. But, your mother was a Queen and your father a Lord, and your sister a Princess.”
Luke sighed and went back on his hunches. “And I'm a Jedi-farmer. The irony does not escape me.”
“No, I'm just saying, you technically are a prince.” Han stood, hand out to pick Luke up.
He graciously accepted it, and was immediately wrapped in solid arms. “Han, I hate to break it to you, but I'm not a ruler.”
“You rule my heart.”
A moment went by before Luke groaned. “By the Force Han.”
Anakin, who was studying his and Padme graves, looked over. “Have I mentioned I don't like him?”
Han smiled and kissed Luke. “By the way.” he said against Luke's mouth. “Don't you ever think I'm going to leave you because of something you can't help. You mean too much to me for something as Darth Vader being your father. Which, for the record, I will need a few weeks to process.”
As he went back to kissing Luke, Luke heard in background his father saying that maybe, just maybe, he can accept Han.