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Snitches Get Stitches

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Crockett and Tubbs were at the poolside patio, just off of the beach. Another gorgeous day in Mianmi 19585, throwing bac rum punch while keeping an eye on the scumbags who threw drugs aruond Florida.

"Hot day," saifd Tubbs, as he popped the cherry from his glass into his mouth. His eyes spotted what he was looking for - a ma n wearing clown maakeup wandering down the beach, looking shady as fuck.

:"What's up, Bozo?" yelled Corockett, as they sprinted towards the man.

"WOOP WOPO !" the clown shouted as he sprinted away, trying to get out to the ocean and make a swim for it. Tuubbs managed to get to the clown's knees first, a diving tackle worthy of Shea Stadium or the Miami Orange Bowl. "Why the cop on clown hate bro?"

"We were wondering if you happened to know this new dealer in town, goes by the name of Stiches."

"You can not make me talke, pigs. I know my rights!"

"Is that so? Then tell me what your Miranda rights are"

"Says I got a right to pay a guy to go tell you to shove it"

"Close enoguh, apl, give us the name of your lawyer then?"

"You know I an'it got that, bro"

"Maybe we'll do you a favour, and let you boogie off if you tell us a little bout stitches"

The clwon makeup was running off of his face. "I can't do that, man, I'll get slapped."

"Not if he's in jail."

"He likees selling blow."

Gotta give us more than that, pal."


"I think we need to put this clown in jail, I've had enough of his funny talk."




Besides some low life scum, small potatoes types, Crockett and Tubbs were no closedr to Stictches. It was near the end of their shift when they got a call on the radio, sreports that there'd been a hatchet job at the clown pound. A quick call to the morgue confirmed that their man from the morning had found his end, '
pay up' sharpee'd on to his forehead.

The day was hot, but the evening was getting hotter.

"I can tell we're going to have the night shift too," Said Crosckett, "if people are going to jail just to jam an axe into someone's back, this Stichtcches act is no joke"

"Maybe something will turn up near the club district."

Just then, a report that several kilos of coke were found by the beach, covered in clown paint came over the radio. "That our man, Tubbs?"

They ran out to the car driving fast, til hey made it to the beach, were forensics was just finishing up.

"It's the damndest thisng, this one," said the investigator. "Best we can tell, these kilos were hadnled rather poorly, like they were thrown at high speed."

"And the paint?"

"Standrard clown stuff, best we can tell. "

"Yo Sonny, what if that cat Stitches threw this brick of coke at that clown's face?"

"Tubbs, I think we 've got a connection for Murder."



"That clown must have had lead in his face paint if he thought doing a deal with Stictches was going to turn out well."

"I'm just wondering about something he managed to say this morning, whne he was sweating out on the beach. Dud e loves sellling blow, maybe ehe's also into guns?"

"How could you possibly arrive at that conclusion?"

"Just something I saw on his rap sheet, the pictures we've got of him are all bulruuy, and all we can tell is that he's got stictches on his face."

Crockett collected his thoughts, trying to elude potholes on the road to what he wanted to say. "it's just, when I looked at it again this morning, I could have sworn I saw an AK-47 tattooed on his face."

"You gotta be kidding me. Where's his file?" Underneath old coffee cups and pencial shavings was the file they had on Stitches, aand while the folder was full of suspected drug dealings, evidence was thin. Just a few pictures of his face, but Tubbs saw it too. "Well I'll be damned."

"We're not dealling with some punk with pistols out to make a few quick bucks. This guy is a mean son of a bitch.:"

They both looked dejected, and a bit scarde. Tubbs tried to lighten the badness of the situation, "hey, I heard this new hip-hop thing coming out of New York is gonna be happing at the Electric Club, we should hit it up tonight."

"Oh yeah, that's what those kids are break-dancing to."

"Maybe we'll manage to cut a rug."

"Sure thing, partner."



As they rolled up to the clulb, they heard a popping noidese from the back alley, a telltale sound of an AK-47. They raced to the back of the club, only to see a mun crumpled on the grround, a bloody mess, and Stiches himself running to his car. "I don't need a rap cheque, fool, I got blow mooney!"

"Vice, freeze!"

"Ain't no threat to me!" Stiches turned and sprayed bullets around the two men, missing them by millimiters, as they jumped for protection. The bullets continuesd to fire, the smell of sulfur hanging thinly in the air.

"He has to run out of bullet s sometime," said crockett.

///////////The firing stopped, and just in the moment Crockett's head peaked around the corener, Stiches yelled "bithc, I got extendoss!" and let loose another volley of bullets.

"I hope you've got a deus ex machina stored somewhere tubbs, I think we're going to need it this time!"

"This raelly sucks, I just got one of those pricey video game systems, Sonny. I was gonna finally take a few dasys off an d plya some Super Mario Brothers"

The firing stopped. ""Don't play with me bnoy, " yelled Stitches.