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Lost in Thoughts All Alone

Summary:

King Garon took her home, her family, and her life, but he could never take away her hope. Kamui will always have her memories to keep her safe, the fondest of which all revolve around him, the boy she always believed would rescue her.

Kaze has many regrets, the biggest being unable to protect his princess and the thought he would never see her alive again.

Chapter 1: A Normal Day

Chapter Text

Sing with me a song of birthrights and love
The light scatters to the sky above
Dawn breaks through the gloom, white as a bone
Lost in thoughts all alone


Kaze remembers that day fresh in his mind as the one before, and he sees that day in much more clarity each time the dream returns.

It starts as all normal days in Hoshido did back then, bright and warm, like the fires that kept them in the winter. It was a calm day, the type of day that was no more eventful than any other, one that did not deserve much remembering if not for what happened. The clouds were floating through the sky with a slow, deliberate pace that reminds him of the snails on the tree in which he practiced throwing his kunai.

On days like this, where the continuing prosperity of the country was undeniable, the king would take his daughter into town to show his happiness to the people and in a way the people's happiness. He was a doting father, that was for sure.

Kamui was the king's middle child. She rested between an older sister and brother, Hinoka, a lady in training, and Ryouma, an exceptionally talented samurai, and a younger brother and sister, Takumi and Sakura, who were still much too young to do much other than what young children excelled at. It was because of his skills, the years he spent training as a ninja that Kaze sometimes forgot that he too was a child. That he was actually closer to the princess in age and height. He was her elder by three years, but he was to oversee her in a way that resembles an adult. No, more of a shadow than a human being. Always watching from the dark, shaped by her figure and hidden in her blinding light. Kaze did not mind, because she shines with a brightness big enough for both of them. It is that same brightness that makes her look at him, her crimson eyes large and jovial.

“Kaze, hurry up! Or, you're going to get left behind, slowpoke!”

Those eyes are too deep, too innocent for him. He fights the heat that rushes in his body from her scrutiny, and forces his head to the side if just for a moment of relief to think of a reason that would justify his gazing. He is her retainer, her watcher, her shadow; and yet, he is embarrassed to say that he likes to watch her for more than her protection. Kaze's lashes rise with his eyelids; and he is not greeted with the face of his princess, but the dark uniforms that belonged to the soldiers of the bordering country, Nohr, a country ruled by a king who wastes no energy hiding his contempt for them. It is not strange for visitors to travel between the countries, but soldiers were not civilians.

For a moment, his mind wanders. Was their presence related to that time?

"These men are our allies. Why would they sneak into the castle?" The blood on his hands drip to the ground; it stains the garden grass in its darkness. The body of his fellow ninjas piled in front of him. A crumpled note left for them with only two words:

Princess Kamui.

"Is it a coincidence?" Kaze thinks hopefully.

“Kaze!” He feels her tug on his hand, small fingers wrapping around his own. “Are you okay?” she asks him, and the worry in her voice is not lost on him.

“Yes, princess. Please, don't mind me,” he answers her; the smile he gives her is enough to earn him a similar response, as she turns away from him and plans to return to her father's side.

Yes, visitors between the countries was not odd at this time of year. It is then that Kaze decides, it's nothing. He spares the soldiers one last passing glance before returning to his position behind the family pair.

That decision twelve years ago and the events thereafter would haunt him for the rest of his years. Even now, he wakes up in a sweat; his breathing shallow and reduced to panic pants no different from a nearly drowned animal; his hands clasped together before him, and his shoulders heavy as they heave up and down with each breath.

The rain falls outside his bedroom in droves, and drowns the plants in the garden that have long grown too heavy with the liquid saturation. He forces himself onto his feet, throws on his garments and secures his short sword to his outer thigh. Kaze takes one last look outside to where a red-haired woman practices with her naginata. Her gaze meets his, piercing into him like the knife hidden on his body. Those eyes, so similar to that of his lost mistress, holds hate, and anger towards him. They flicker like the fierce flames of a dragon. Behind them is the guilt she feels at not being able to protect her younger sister, so she trains no matter the weather to be strong. And, he accepts her blame because he is too weak to deny it or perhaps too strong to excuse his faults, Kaze hopes it is the latter but somewhere deep down he thinks it is perhaps a mix of both.

As Hinoka continues swinging her weapon in the yards below, Kaze sighs and begins his duties around the castle.

It looks like it will be another normal day in Hoshido.