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The Adventures of the Devils in Disguise

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Staring into the flames of the fire pit, a memory of a church burning down sprang into the Time Lord's mind. The screams of the orphans and the sisters were still fresh in his memories although it had happened almost ten years ago now. All he had left was the fading scars on his top half and the stinging of the frequent migraines that he got from his episodes.

The Time Lord was called Kadar Song, a name given to him by the woman who had abandoned him. A name that he had to live with for the rest of his days. This was why he had given himself a nickname whilst working within the underworld. The Commander, a name so fitting for the intimidating man that lifted weights in his free time. His dark pupils found the dusty old punch bag that was hanging from a bar in between a door frame.

Kadar had chosen to live inside of an abandoned warehouse after giving the original owner an offer he couldn't refuse. By offer, he meant blackmail and being held by gun point. It was mostly empty safe for the punch bag, lumpy mattress that had a thin sheet and lumpy looking dust cloths. The cloths were currently covering his precious clothes as he was expecting someone to visit him. He didn't want anybody to know about his hobbies.

After stomping out the fire, Kadar glared into the smashed up mirror hanging on his wall. It was broken after a night that ended badly. He had been rejected by a potential bed buddy for the night and the mirror had taken his violent outburst. Still managing to see his reflection, Kadar smoothed a hand through his short brunette hair.

"I've still got it," he growled to nobody in particular and grabbed a shirt from a box. He pulled it on just as a female walked over to him, holding two cups of coffee. She had gotten them from a cafe that was close by. Delicately setting them down, she looked around the place and grimaced. This made Kadar laugh. "Is anything the matter, Ms Moriarty?"

"Well, Mr. Song." It was his turn to grimace. Nobody from the underground was supposed to know his real name. "Would you prefer Commander?" She asked, quirking up an amused eyebrow. It seemed she had a sense of humour. "As I was -"

She had sneezed, making Kadar fumble around for a tissue. The woman waved a hand and neatly pull a handkerchief from her leather bag. She smartly blew her nose into it before returning it into the bag.

"I don't think I can concentrate. Do you have a cleaner to take care of," here she ran a finger along the box, "this mess? It's not very hygienic." She held up a finger to show a thick layer of fluffy dust there. "How do you sleep in here?"

"Well, Ms Moriarty I did mention that wasn't at all human on the phone." She gave him a sore look and insisted on being called by her first name from now on. "Right, Aspen it is. Anyway, I doubt that the state of my home has anything to do with you and there's the fact that I don't want an ordinary human routing through my things."

She straightened up her jacket, giving him a huge grin. This disturbed him. What was going on in that head of hers? This was why he didn't want the consulting criminal to meet him at home. She was plotting something bad and he didn't want to know about it. Kadar had the feeling that Aspen got what she wanted regardless and that frightened him. Not that he would admit it out loud as that would break his character.

"Well, its lucky day. I have some free time coming up and I think I could use that time to do some cleaning." Kadar turned his back to her, trying decipher what she was trying to say. "I mean, you also need to furnish this place too and there are rooms on the first floor that you can use." She pointed to the floors above and Kadar looked up at the same time. "Plus, we need to buy you an actual bed and a new mattress. Bed bugs are awful."

"You're not my wife, Aspen." He growled once she had done rambling. She fixed him with a glare and visibly shuddered. Kadar made a mental note not to piss her off when it was her time of the month. "Fuckin' hell, you are like your bloody father, ain'cha?"

"I'm not suggesting to get married, Kadar. I'm only sixteen, for Christ's sake!" There was a growl in her tone and he moved back towards the closest window. Aspen laughed, opening up her bag once more and pulling out a black book. "Let's see you need a new bed, cabinets, a suite for a seating area." She looked over to the space behind her, "a full working kitchen and a proper bathroom." As she wrote stuff down, Kadar was planning his escape route as this wasn't what he wanted.

It would make him... Even more human. That thought spooked him quite badly. What was this woman even suggesting? 'We could slit her throat once her back's turned,' a cynical voice chuckled darkly in his head making him grin. Another voice popped in his mind, this time it was female voice; `No killing today. We knew her father and we owe him a lot.`

The voice was right and that disappointed him a lot. No killing today. He waited as she continued her rant and he wondered what else he wanted.

"So, Kadar, what colours would you like in your room?" He raised an eyebrow. Did she really want to know that? His shirt colour should indicate what colours he preferred. Before he could stop her, Aspen pulled one of the dust sheets off his private collection. She stared them, her expression completely blank. He could feel the heat rush to his head. "Did you want me to build a wardrobe for these or would you wanna do that?"

"Whatever," he managed clearing his throat. Nobody was meant to know about his collection of dresses. They were supposed to be private. Now that Aspen knew, he wasn't sure what he had to do. Kadar palmed a hand over his clothes, not meeting her eye. Aspen let a very loud sigh slip through her lips.

"I'm not a huge fan of those down on themselves. Besides, its your life and I'm not one to judge. If you've met my brother, you would know why." He turned to see her standing there, her arms crossed. She certainly looked frustrated in that very instant. "Anyway, this revamp is gonna take a lot of hard work so I'm gonna base myself here. If that's okay with you?"

"Do whatever you want," he grumbled waving a hand. To be honest, Kadar wasn't listening to her and grabbed his jacket. He needed some fresh air. "Take whatever time ya need. I'm going to try and ruin my liver if my genetics allow it." With that said, he left Aspen his keys and stepped outside of the building. Next stop the pub for the next few hours.


- DID -


It was two days later that Kadar allowed himself to go home. The first thing he saw was what appeared to be cabinets in the centre of the main floor. He also saw a cooker and fridge. Aspen had obviously put in a full functioning kitchen and added some sofas. Was that an eating area? It looked cleaner than the first day he moved in.

Kadar was pulling off his jacket when something awful hit his ears. Music was coming from the first floor and it almost deafened him.

"Screw this," he growled as he ran up the spiral staircase (a nice new feature, he thought). He kicked open one of the doors to find a horrid sight. The walls were pink and the source of the awful music came from the stereo on a lilac side table. Next to the table was a apron clad Aspen with a paint brush in hand. It was obvious she was painting this room. "What the fuck is this?" He pointed over to the stereo as the track changed to another deadly song.

"Justin Bieber," she replied not missing a beat. She placed the brush into a bucket and wiped her hands on a dust cloth. "What's wrong with it?"

"Its making my ears bleed!" He slammed a hand onto the stereo and the music immediately shut off. Aspen visibly shuddered at the slap and slight cracking sound. It seemed he may have broken the music player. "Now I can fuckin' think properly! What other improvements have you made?"

Instead of replying, Aspen grabbed his hand and led him out of the room and down the corridor. She opened a door and showed him the contents of a dark room. The colours were greys and greens, and they seemingly went well together. In the centre of the room was a low bed that was almost level with the ground. Kadar was lost for words.

"I thought you might like it. You owe me a new CD player, by the way." He walked into the room and spot a mirrored door and pushed at it. It revealed rails of women's clothes and near the mirror was a chest of drawers. "Hidden from plain sight. The drawers have your regular clothes in, great for if you invite guests over. There's also a lock on the door for some -"

"Thanks," he sighed and wrapped his arms around her tiny frame. "Its perfect." It was extremely out of character for him. He never showed affection so Aspen was very lucky indeed. After pulling away, she went for the door.

"Its not over yet. There's two more rooms I need to show you." Confused, he followed her down the stairs and saw two doors. One had his name on it, "That's your very own gym; no sound from the outside nor the inside to disturb people. Then," she pulled open the second door to reveal a large round table and a over hanging projector. "I thought if you ever hosted your league of evil conferences, you had a proper place to do it. I mean, I know you're private and all but my sources was able to do this in a few hours."

"Well, you did good." He noted the wifi hub near a laptop stand and nodded. It was a good touch. "I should take my business seriously, eh? By the way, I'm wondering what the pink room is for."

"It's for me," she replied instantly. "Someone needs to keep you from death and this place needs to stay tidy. I doubt you've got time in between taking over the world and your 'private time'. So, I'm offering my services as a live in house keeper. I mean, I'm not like an ordinary human being am I? I'm a psychotic criminal like my father."

That got him. She did remind him of Jim Moriarty. Resourceful and a little bit evil. Plus, he was sure they would make an excellent team in the criminal world.

"Well, I do need some guidance concerning my work. I'm a free lancer and all but it doesn't mean I need some help. I'm currently having doubts about this woman I'm working for." Aspen gave him an odd look with her eyebrow raised. "Her name is Geraldine Spike of the planet Ravensandora. Yes, I'm not the only species of alien out there." Instead of backing away, Aspen approached him and placed a hand onto his shoulder and sighed.

“You've been giving away that vibe since day one, sweetie. I'm not stupid.” Kadar never thought she was stupid. A little bit clingy, yes, but never stupid. “By the way, you're still buying me a CD player and I think you have an appointment about your antibiotics with one Dr. Lahey. You shouldn't leave important documents around.” She was right but Kadar never cared about privacy until now. Just what was he getting himself into?