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Hurry up, we're dreaming

Chapter Text

STOLE THE SHOW

ACT I

Alycia’s POV

 

Darling, darling, oh, turn the lights back on now
Watching, watching, as the credits all roll down

 

I was completely embarassed. My mouth was with that famous bitter and metalic taste of alcohol after a night of excesses, my head still dizzy, and the confused thoughts -all so known from the morning after hangover- came  even more intense that I've ever remembered. My eyes burned so bad that I was on the plane with huge sunglasses, trying to maintain the posture despite the weakness and the nausea that were taking over me. Until this morning of January 24rth-2016, I considered hangover(the one that knocks you down) to be the worst sensation anyone could experience, but honestly? The phisical symptoms weren't bothering me as much as the moral ones right now. 

  "Aly, are you awake?"

  "Aly, are you alive?"

  "When you wake up, please send a signal that you're alive! Hope you don't miss your flight."

The messages were insistently jumping from my phone display, all from the same number.

Geez, the nausea was poking the back of my head, and I was turning off the display because of the excessive amount of concentration needed for that. There was no way I could think about the shit I've done, much less have the courage to answer Eliza.

I've decided to leave the phone at some corner of the huge seat I was occupying, and buried my face in the hoodie, kind of to hide me from myself, and from my own conscience. Obviously that was absolutely impossible, but I pretended to be minimally capable of keeping this agreement with myself until I was 100% sober again. By the way, new life motto: do not do absolutely ANYTHING while not sober. NOTHING. Much less sex with the cast mate. Congratulations, Alycia, you fucked up big time!

Crying, crying, you know we’re playing to a full house, house

-Alycia, take it easy - Eliza was saying next to me, among giggles. Her breath smelled like peaches and vodka from the several 'Sex On The Beach' she drank in the past couple hours.

I just laughed back. I've lost count of how many Cosmopolitans I've already downed.That added to the puffs we gave on a joint that was passing around on the hands of the people celebrating the end of our filming in The 100 only increased my happy(high) state.

It was liberating to feel all this happiness, because the feeling prior the alcohol was bittersweet: I was saying goodbye to the cast.  At the same time I knew it was impossible to keep my routine as it was, between T100 and FTWD, I couldn't imagine myself away from 'Lexa'.

We cried, we laughed, cried, laughed again during the goodbye dinner, Jason and I. We knew that what we created was special. Lexa was special and would always be unforgetable as much to me, as to him. It was terribly hard to say goodbye, to let go of a project that I loved so much to do another because it was safe. If everything had happened on another moment of my career, at least...

No heroes, villains, one to blame

While wilted roses fill the stage

And the thrill,the thrill is gone

Our debbut was a masterpiece

But in the end for you and me

Oh, the show, it can’t go on

Eliza guffawed. She and Devon alternated between the weed and a bottle of an already warm champagne. Eventually Devon would bring the bottle to my lips, and I would swallow a few sips, but not without letting a few drops fall from my chin while they laughed at my incapability to absorb champagne properly. Everything was a reason to loud and unfiltered laughter.

I supported myself on Eliza's thigh a little out of balance and she brought her lips to my ears once again:

-Aly, you're worse than Devon and I combined. You're such an amateur...

I lifted my eyes to meet hers.

-I'm great! Never been better in my entire life- I said, with a goofy smile, and a completely coiled tongue. Eliza once again laughed at that.

-You can't even talk without coil your tongue.

-What?

-I'll miss you, girl.

Devon said something that I couldn't assimilate at the time, but definitely made us laugh, much like everything else we said, making sense or not.

-Eliza, you're so CLEXA- he said, theatrically emphasizing the word "Clexa" on purpose.

I threw my head back in a goofy smile and there it stayed, in the soft headrest of the sofa. Everything seemed to float and make very little sense. I just wanted to stay in this daze forever.

-Clexa is endgame, at least in our hearts - I said, stumbling on my words with a gruesome diction - I died to save you, aren't I adorable?! - I tried to spy Eliza through the corners of my eyes.

-Definitely, so adorable you can't even lift your head. Leksa Kom Trikru, I think is time for you to go to bed. - while she spoke, Eliza was getting up slowly, until she was standing, but not without a little dificulty - I'll go to my room too, if lose my flight tomorow I'll kill myself.

-Nooooooo - Devon and I complained.

-Not yet. Let's do a nightcap - I insisted.

Eliza lifted the empty champagne bottle with a false rebuke look - This was the nightcap, forgot?

Devon made a noise that I decided to interpret as a laughter, and turnerd his face on the couch, looking nowhere. Game over.

Eliza and I looked at each other e giggled again, before she grabed my wrist and pulled me up. I could hardly stand, and the fact that I was only in my socks didn't help at all, but I did anyway, with a hand in her arms to steady myself. Eliza was tipsy, but I was very inebriated, so I would surely trust her to get me safely back to my room.

Before we drag ourselves from the restaurant(that is at the underground of the hotel) to the elevator, Eliza settled the empty bottle on Devon, making the bottleneck stay between his parted lips, now that he was already napping.

That made our laughter reverberate through the empty corridor to the elevator, step by step, we leaned on each other creating an absolutely unbalanced, muddled,  unintentional dance.

-We should do this more often - Eliza said, with a weak voice after laughing so hard.

-Please! I never had this much fun before - I said, curling my tongue a little, but very sincerely. I was too shy to drink this much, but tonight was an exception. And it was awesome!

Eliza put her arm around my waist, and I decided to steady my knees a little better when I noticed I was completely thrown over her while the elevator got up  to the floor my room was. My head was hanging to the side and my eyes were closing while the drunk smile remained in my lips.

-C'mon, Alycia, do your part! - Eliza pulled me and I obeyed. Feeling like I was walking on clouds, we walked to my room. My concentration skills only allowing me to focus in putting one foot in front of the other.

We used to have it all, but now's our curtain call
So hold for the applause, oh
And wave out to the crowd, and take our final bow
Oh, it's our time to go, but at least we stole the show
At least we stole the show

At least we stole the show

At least we stole the show

At least we stole the show

My head was hammering in the same frequency of my ringtone, like a dozen of church bells pounding on my temples. I turned in despair, trying to reach on the floor the source of such hideous noise.

-Norman, hello? - I answered my accessor a little baffled, frowning and completely dizzy.

Silence.

-Yes, I'm sorry, I overslept. I'll be there in thirty, please hold my flight.

And hung up.

Now, what the hell happened last night?

I found myself naked and everything was aching, specially my head and my back. The dizziness was almost crippling, but I had to get up. The brightness of the room announced a sunny morning, and  the only thing I was sure at that moment was that I hated sunny mornings more than anything else.

I practically dragged myself to the bathroom, slitted eyes and slow walk, but very urgent. Everything was a mess and I was screwed if I lost my flight. I lifted my eyes to the mirror, and stared at my reflex while forcing myself to try to remember the prior night.

Farewell dinner. A lot of champagne. Jason. Devon. Costume designers. Drinks. Cameras. Eliza.

Holy fucking shit.

Eliza.

My eyes widened and I could only bring a hand to my forehead in shock. I swallowed the dry lump in my throat, and the bitter alcohol taste that was still numbing my tongue.

I had sex with Eliza. Drunk and high.

Still looking at my reflection, I frowned when I noticed a purple round mark on my neck. Automatically the memory of Eliza's lips devouring my skin made me so dizzy that I almost fell right there.

I put my hand on my mouth trying to recover from the inicial shock, and then ran my fingers on the purple mark, wanting to rub it clean, to rip it out of me. In vain, I knew, but the regret and the filthy sensation was overwhelming.

As I was remembering all the details from the night before, my eyes were filling with tears. I felt ashamed and completely exposed. I had no idea of how and when Eliza got out of the room. I don't even have the guts to imagine.

All I wanted was to cry under the covers for the rest of the day, but I gathered the dignity I had left and got in the shower. Cold water to cleanse body and soul.

Darling, darling, you know that we are sold out
This is fading, but the band plays on now
We're crying, crying, so let the velvet roll down, down

We landed in Baja, Mexico, where I would stay for FTWD shooting and I still haven't answered Eliza's messages.

"Alycia, if you're getting the messages, I hope you're well, and that you had a safe flight. Yesterday was unexpected. A little weird... Well, I just wanted to make sure you are ok."

I just wanted to delete it all without even reading. Delete the memories of last night. I was not ready to deal with what happened. Not only the consequences with Eliza, but also with my boyfriend. I was so fucked that I foound myself on the verge of tears again.

No heroes, villains, one to blame
While wilted roses fill the stage
And the thrill, the thrill is gone
Our debut was a masterpiece
Our lines we read so perfectly
But the show, it can't go on

A certain relief took over me when I got out of the airport and realized that I was in Mexico to shoot FTWD. For the first time the idea od leaving The 100 made me truly happy.

I took a deep breath and looked at the sky, that was pink because of the sunset, already in the car that was taking me to the new hotel.

-Leksa Kom Trikru, Yu gonplei ste odon.

We used to have it all, but now's our curtain call
So hold for the applause, oh
And wave out to the crowd, and take our final bow
Oh, it's our time to go, but at least we stole the show
At least we stole the show

At least we stole the show

At least we stole the show

At least we stole the show