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A Little Bit of This and That

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“Sansy... we are gonna get in trouble!”

“Nuh-unh, it’s his fault for not giving me his laundry! He knows Sundays are laundry day!”

To your chagrin, you follow after the little bundle of blue energy into his brother’s dark room, clutching the laundry basket to your chest. You just had to volunteer, didn’t you? You just had to come over on a Sunday instead of a Saturday, all because you were busy with work and felt guilty for leaving the blueberry hanging. Although, visiting on Sundays aren’t too bad; Sans has off most Sundays from his training and guard duty, while Papyrus usually hangs out over at Muffet’s Cafe most of the day. This makes it easier to hang; usually you two can play board games together or cook up some delicious tacos, with your help that is. Last time you left Sans alone to cook you two lunch, well, you just know that sweater you wore will forever smell like smoke. You hesitate just outside the door, only allowing one foot to step inside. This feels bad and wrong, brong or wad if you would. You’ve never been in here before, Papyrus made sure you knew full well not to go into his room. The only way you even got in was because Sans has a key that he keeps tucked away, somewhere.

Being friends with the brothers is great, one is always so lively, and the other is the definition of chill-axing. When you first met them at the grocery store, you hadn’t expected to befriend them both so quickly. Well, maybe not both, just Sans. You were just minding your own business when you came across the lost little blue. He was in such a panic, at the time he had lost track of Papyrus and had never been alone in the store before. Seeing how monsters came above ground just a few months ago at the time, you were very wary of him. However, once you spoke with him, your heart melted. The bundle of hyper happiness followed you about as you took him to the front of the store, where you found his brother snoozing on a bench. Sans was very grateful for the help, proceeding to invite you over for dinner. How could you say no?

That was almost a year ago.

“Mweheheh! No discarded cloth can hide from the Magnificent Sans!” He trounces full on into cleaning mode, grumbling about a pile of socks in the corner of the room. Used socks. Gross. Nervously you follow behind him, placing the basket in the middle of the room. Should you help him? It’s not like he hasn’t helped you with laundry day before, always the helpful little skeley-butt, but you learned quite fast to wash your undergarments on a different day… and hide them all together. At the memory of Sans’s finding your uh, secret identity masks and running towards his brother wearing them on his head, you feel the heat quickly rush to your face. Oh boy, you never imagined you would faint before, but seeing the absolute sheer look of amusement displayed on Paps’s face still mortifies you in your sleep. To this day, when given the chance, Papyrus doesn’t let you live it down.

---

“what’s thong, friend?”

Ughhhh...

“what? should i keep this, brief ?”

Stoooopppp...

“your panties had polka dots on them.”

THAT WASN’T EVEN A PUN!

---

Shoving the taunts to the back of your mind, you hastily move about the bedroom, attempting to give Sans a hand. Stepping around the unkept mattress, you pick up the scrunched together bed spread and toss it into the basket. Oh? A smirk crosses your lips as you pick up the treasure you discovered under the sheet. It’s a slightly wrinkled orange hoodie, one of the very few Papyrus owns. Oh, this is going to be fun. Peeking behind you, you're pleased to see Sans struggling to reach behind Pap’s unused workout equipment. Slipping the hoodie quickly over your head, you're not all that surprised when it drowns you under the orange cloth; covering you all the way down to right about the knees. If you were home right now, you would totally go about in just this and undies alone, it’s so soft! Now wonder Pap wears it all the time! Wiggling about, you flop your arms in front of you, the sleeves going well over your wrists and hiding your hands. Sliding the hood over your head, you can’t help but feel your face turn flush as the scent of Papyrus wafts itself teasingly around your nose. It’s surprisingly pleasant; a sweet and musky mixture, like fresh pure maple syrup.

Quickly you tip toe behind Sans, holding your giggles under your breath. You pass over empty bottles of honey and pieces of written paper. Seriously, Christmas, Pap’s gift is going to be a filing cabinet and a week’s worth of maid service. You step on something wet… and squishy… Make that a month’s worth of cleaning service! You can hear him grunting as he struggles to reach the discarded shorts. “F-Friend, you’re arms are longer than mine. Could I kindly ask for your assistance?” He sits up and wipes the sweat from his forehead. Perfect, he has yet to turn around. “No problem Sansy-hey, what’s that on the bed!” You exclaim excitedly, watching as he jolts up in surprise. “Mweh?! Are we under atta-!”

“NYEH HEH HEH!”

You shake wave you orange arms frantically while shouting at him.

Blink.

Blink.

...

Srnk!

He tries his best to control himself.

Pfffftttt…

He can’t hold it in anymore, he breaks down into a fit of giggles. Proudly you position your hands on your hips, thrusting one forward in a heroic stance. “H-Human, what a-are you-?” You grin widely at him as you cut him off, “I am the Grrrrrreat, Papyrus! Nyeh heh heh!” His bright starry eyes sparkle as he clasps his gloved hands together. “I-Is that supposed to be P-Papy?” He asks, but you ignore him, as delight floods over your face once you reach into the large front pocket. Oh, perfect~! There’s the sound of crackling paper from within your hidden hands and Sans looks over you curiously. Pap would totally kill you right now if he saw this, but to see Sans laughing like he is, death is worth the risk! “Mmmm… oh, it’s cotton candy flavored. Good choice Papyrus.” You mutter under your breath, licking the lollipop you found. Posing, you smile brightly over to the giggling ball of blue, pretending to smoke the sucker like one of Pap’s cigarettes. “T-Th, T-That laugh? Is that supposed to be like mine?” His bright smile widens as you nod, the hood threatening to fall over your eyes. “I know, Pap being just like you? Oh my god, what if he lept through windows like you did! Could you imagine?!”

“No,”

Uh, oh.

“-that doesn’t mean I haven’t tried!”

You both erupt into laughter as you continue your Papyrus-like antics. Finishing up the chore, you cross your arms as Sans attempts to take his brother’s clothing back. “Noooooo… it’s comfortable!” You stick your tongue out at him as you walk out the door, a flustered Sans following behind with the basket. “It need’s to be washed! Papy only has a few of those, you know that.” He pouts, but you stay determined, he’s gonna have to wrestle it from you. “Want it, come and get it!” You tear down the hallway as a blur of color, snickering as you hear Sans cry out your name in defeat. Carefully you trudge down the stairs, darting to hide behind their old maroon couch. You do your best to breath quietly out of your mouth, using the sleeve to hinder the sound. You groan inwardly, feeling your belly churn in response. The smell… it’s… oddly intoxicating. Wait, what?

“Friend! The Magnificent Sans will find you! I know every corner of the house, it’s will take me only seconds to find you!”

You hold back your laughter as you peek around the corner of the couch, spying Sans looking in the kitchen for you. You duck back behind the couch as you notice him turning, but thankfully he does not see you. He calls out your name as he, ew gross, digs through the trash bin. Seriously, did he think you were hiding in that tiny thing? You let out a sharp whistle from your spot and you hear him yelp in surprise. You hear his boots stomp against the ground in his frustration, no doubt throwing a bit of a tantrum; he does that sometimes. The couch creaks behind your head and you can tell Sans is seated, probably strategizing his next move. He’s given up way too easy. “Myoo.. hoo hoo… I lost the human!” He cries in despair, and you feel a bit guilty. Oh, this sweet heart. Slowly you get up from your hiding spot and quickly grasp him with an over the shoulder hug.

“Gottcha!”

“MWEH!”

He screeches loudly as he feels the sudden orange snake around his metallic shoulder pads. Fearing an attack from behind, he attempts to escape. He seriously had no idea you were there, you realize a bit too late. You must have really surprised him, because he jumps up from the couch, dragging you over with him. This isn’t the main problem though. During his shock and excitement, his head bonks into your falling figure.

Solid bone.

Squishy nose.

Guess who won?

Your arms drop free from him and you quickly cover your nose, tears biting at your eyes. Oh boy, please don’t bleed! Papyrus would have your head, even if it’s an accident, if you were to tarnish the blueberry’s innocence. “H-Human! No! I’m so sorry, are you okay?!” He cries, dropping his tense guard to help you up off the couch. Still covering your nose, you fear the worse when a wet sensation drips onto your upper lip. Pushing him to the side, you quickly rush to the bathroom and lock the door behind you. You hear Sans keen out for you, his voice muffled with worry. “S-Sansy-tsh, fuck, ow. Sans, it’s okay. Just… give me a moment.” He whimpers from the other side of the door, but thankfully does not try to enter. Looking into the mirror, you remove your hands. Yup, that’s red. Tugging back the hood, you turn your head about, examining the damage. It’s not terrible, just puffy due to the quick swelling. You dab away the blood and rinse your mouth out with some water from the sink, apparently some had snuck into your sinuses. Grossssss!

“Mrmm… Friend? You are taking too long! Please say something, I am terribly worried about your status.” You hear Sans whisper out for you, he’s just one step away from pawing at the door like a lost puppy. Sighing, you throw the hood back over your head and unlock the door. You step back as immediately Sans throws open the door, narrowly hitting you again. Seriously, he needs to stop that. “Hey don’t worry Sansy, I’m ok-” “OH NO LOOK AT YOUR NOSE! I BROKE IT! I BROKE YOU!” His little eye sockets are filled with tears as he scrambles to hug you, his head nuzzling into your bosom. The red on your face could match a strawberry as you push Sans away, he’s always had, um, personal space issues. “S-Sansy, it’s okay, it’s just a bit sore is all-!” You lurched forward as Sans tugs you along, guiding you to his room. “Nonsense friend! I must care for you and your injury, lest it get worse!”

Just too freaking sweet.

Begrudgingly you follow behind him, pinching your nose in hope that it clots faster. He has a firm grip around your free hand as he drags you, no doubt used to doing this with Paps when he doesn’t do his chores. Upon entering his room you are greeted with the familiar sight of his bed and action figures, as well as the fully stocked bookshelf. “Sit, sit, sit! I’ll be right back!” He pushes you down, be it gently, and rushes out the door. Huffing, you let go of your nose and look down at your fingers. Just a smidge of dry blood, but nothing more is escaping. Phew, major crisis averted. You scoot back to sit against the wall, kicking your legs out before you. It’s not the first time you’ve been up here with Sans. At times you guys would watch videos together on his new computer or read the different puzzle creation books together, but often under the watchful policing of Papyrus. Not that he was monitoring your every move, he just often napped on the bed or was in the very least downstairs watching television. Hey just doesn’t seem very trusting of humans, not that you entirely blame him from the stories you’ve heard. Maybe you can change his ways?

“Human! I have arrived with medical aide!” He bounds into the room, carrying a partially opened First-Aide kit. “Sansy, it’s okay, it’s not that bad-” “No, no! It’s my fault, therefore I must care for you!” He cuts you off and you give him a sad smile. Well, it’s not really his fault, you were the one hiding after all. He places the kit on the ground and begins to scrounge around. “Where is it… where… ah!” He presents to you a bandage, not sure how that’s going to help, and begins to peel away the backing. “Wait, Sans, seriously, I’m okay.” You wave your hands defensively, but nothing you do deters him. In a swift action, he places the band-aid across the bridge of your nose and you give a sigh of defeat. “Do you feel better my friend!” He shouts more than asking, you give him a soft smile in return and nod. “Yes, thank you Doctor Sans.” The blues of his eyes grow wide and sparkle at the compliment, soon after posing proudly in front of you, his foot rutted at the edge of the bed. “It’s no problem at all my dear friend! I shall always be there whenever you need assistance, for I, the Magnificent Sans, can always provide my services onto thee!”

“You know Sans…” You trail off, lowering your voice as you cross your arms. His eyes widen as he crawls onto the bed, sitting cross legged beside you. When did he even have the time to remove his boots? “Y-Yes human? You are not angry with me… are you? I do understand if you are. I have broken our seal of friendship-” You pounce up onto him, grabbing his shoulders and stradling over top of him in a swift, be it practiced maneuver. “H-Human!” Sans look up at you startled, his eye sockets open and fearful. “Ha! Pinned ya again!” You snicker and he blinks up at you for a moment, before realization clicks. “Oh! The movie with the large temmie-like creatures! The, uh…the...” You giggle and cross your arms, unmoving as you hover above his fragile frame. “Dude, it’s the Lion King. We just watched it like, two nights ago. Remember? You pounced on Papyrus like Nala and he started glowing bright orange!” You laugh behind you hands and look down, noticing he’s glowing neon blue and looking away. “Yeah! Just like that!”

“Myoo… F-Friend, could you p-please move? You are uh, heavy?” He struggles and you stick your tongue out at him. You fake offense, clutching at your heart. “First you hurt my nose, then you break my heart, Sans you fiend.” You feel him fret below you, his arms unable to move from under you. “For that!” You raise your hands before you like claws, the sleeves falling down to your elbows as you wiggle your fingers. “You need to be punished!” His eyes widen in fear and he struggles more, he knows what's coming. “H-Have mercy!” He exclaims, but it’s too late, your fingers trail down his sides, resting on his exposed funny bones; the true skeleton weakness. Sans trembles as he watches your smile under the hood turn wicked. “No!” YES. Your fingers descend upon him, quite literally, tickling his funny bones. “MWEH! HEH HEH! S-STOP!” He breaks down into an aberrant ball of giggles, his face glowing brighter in the dim room. Tears begin to stream down the sides of his cheekbones as he thrashes about. Nope, you don’t give in. “Y-You're too h-heavy human! L-Let, mweh heh, me go!”

“That’s so rude Sansy,” You stop tickling him and cover his grin with your sleeved hand. “You should know to never to complain to a lady about her weight.” You tease and pause, looking down at Sans as he has stopped struggling. “Uh, Sans?” You question and attempt to retract your hand. You can’t move. “Mrmm…” You hear Sans groan under you, and fear bites you in the stomach. Shit, you didn’t hurt him, did you? “A-Are you okay?” You stutter out, then look closer at him. His face has a blue haze over it, his blue pupils unfocused as he makes quiet groaning noises. You shiver as you feel something soft and wet press into your palm. You swallow as a shiver bites down your spine. “S-Sans?” You voice wavers and the pinpricks of his eyes focus up at you. The tension holding down your hand is released and you retrieve your held hostage appendage. As you remove yourself, you're surprised to find his mouth parted, a cyan tongue panting between rarely seen canines. “H-Ha… ha… h-human…” His voice is so quiet; a rarity, his breathing so deep and heavy you can feel his ribs shifting under your thighs. “A-Are you okay Sans?” You attempt to get off him, but he shakes his head, asking you to stay put.

“I-I am okay…” His eyes travel back to the wrist of the sleeve your holding with your other hand. “I-I never tasted that before… I believe that’s what my brother likes to drink?” Wait, is he talking about honey? “I-I always get on my brother for drinking that sticky stuff, but I must admit… it’s nice, it’s so sweet!” He perks up, but then his grin turns to a frown. “D-Don’t tell Papy though! H-He doesn’t like sharing the stuff… I don’t want him mad at me.” He pouts and you feel you heart break a little. “Aw, Sansy don’t worry. I’ll keep this a secret between the two of us.” You notice his eyes have not left your wrist, and you turn it to see yourself. There’s a damp dark orange spot just above where your hand was moments ago. “Do, um, heh, do you want to t-taste it again?” You speak softly, roses blossoming onto your cheeks. You should not be doing this, but you can’t deny it to yourself, you’ve always had a small crush on both of the brothers. Just seeing Sans like this, below you, panting with little blue hearts in his eyes...

“P-Please?”

Dear god Sans, please do not beg.

You lower your hand to hover above his mouth, the cloth dangling right above his baited tongue. “G-Go ahead Sansy…” You feel his heated breath pass through the cloth and dance against your sensitive wrist. He wiggles his arms free from beneath you, clutching onto the cloth at your wrist as he begins to suckle quietly. His eyes fall closed as if to snooze, but the rampant moving underneath the orange cloth tells you he is still quite awake. You bite your lower lip as you feel your body flower into a warm heat. Why… why do you find this… turning you on? You pull the hood down further to hide your perverted shame. This is so bad… Oh? You look at your other wrist and find a similar dark pattern, be it a bit more scattered than your other wrist. Your eyes dance between the skeleton under you and to the temptation. “H-Hey, Sansy… What, what does it taste like?”

He pulls back, but his grip is still pleasantly holding you down, as if fearful you were to leave. He must really like that taste of it. “I-It’s… hah, it’s sweet, warm, and er, smokey?” His face scrunched as he turns away, a reminder to him that this is his brother’s hoodie he is guilty sucking on. “I, I guess I’ll try it too.” His eyes stare up at you as you stick your tongue out to lick the cloth. He’s right; it’s quite sweet, a hint of warmth, a… taunting musk… a burning, alluring smoky flavor. This... this isn’t honey that you’ve ever had before. You feel Sans shift under you and you catch him watching shyly as you lick at the sweet fabric. Is he…? No way. You quietly moan beneath you breath as you savor the taste, as well to test him. Sans eye sockets widening as his grip tightens with trembling hands. Oh? Liked that did he? Your eyes travel to the door, it’s still cracked open, and no Papyrus waiting to kill you at a moment’s notice. Maybe… you could have a little fun with this? You can feel Sans’s canines as he gently chews into the material, beads of sweat dripping down the front of his forehead. You pull back from the cloth, allowing extra strands of saliva to web from your lips to the orange cuff. Sans squirms below you.  “Are you sure you are okay, Sans?” You ask gently, your own breaths increasing by the second. It’s getting uncomfortably hot in here, and it’s not due to the hoodie you are wearing. His eye sockets audibly click due to the force of him closing them tight as he mumbles something against your hand.

“What was that-?”

Something brushes against your butt.

“Mwrph! H-ha…! Human, d-don’t do that…”

Sans pants below you, his pinprick eyes unable to meet yours. Your eyes grow wide as you hide your face behind your free hand, do skeleton’s even have that? “I-I’m sorry Sans, I didn’t… I shouldn’t of…” You pull your hand back as you scramble in retreat, your bottom accidentally grinding against him. “Nrgh, P-Papy!” Sans moans out and you fall back on your butt, sitting between his legs. Did… did he just? As if catching your thoughts, he hands shoot up to cover his mouth. “Meep! H-Human, you heard n-nothing!” You can’t help but for a chuckle to rumble through your chest as Sans sits up on his elbows, his hands falling to his sides. Snickering, you glance down between his legs and notice there’s a bit of a bright aura from the tent. “Sansy, you’re naughty~.” You lowering your hand onto of the bump, your palm lightly pressing against it. “N-Nyah… d-don’t…” He can’t bring himself to speak as he shivers to your touch. “Does me wearing you bro’s hoodie… get you excited?” His eyes dart away as he trembles with you light strokes. “I know you’ve always had a bit of a crush on your brother,” His eyes snap towards you with shock, “I mean, not that I blame you. You’re brother is pretty cool after all.” You wink and his grin grows, but he still refuses to make steady eye contact with you. “I-I,” he gulps and shakes his head to clear his thoughts. “D-don’t know what you are talking about, f-friend.”

“Hey Sansy, want to play a game?”