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one to show i love you too

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Steve wakes to the feeling of Bucky’s warm, firm chest under his cheek, their legs tangled together and their arms wrapped around each other. Steve is larger now, much larger, but the way Bucky holds him tight under his chin makes Steve feel small again. Not weak, not sickly, just… small. Like he doesn’t have to worry about anything because that’s what Bucky’s there for. 


His fingers are resting on Bucky’s abdomen, right at the lower edge of his rib cage, and there is a nipple under his palm. It’s a good feeling, he thinks, touching one of Bucky’s tight, pink nipples. 


It does things to him that he can’t explain when he looks down across Bucky’s chest and sees the five that aren’t covered by his hand.


Steve slides his fingers back and traces circles around the areola, rubbing gently just to feel the way the nipple hardens into a point under his touch. He walks his fingers up Bucky’s chest to the next nipple and repeats the treatment until all three of Bucky’s left nipples are tight and eager. Steve feels the strongest urge to suck on them, like just having one between his lips or on his tongue would be a satisfaction in itself.


But that would definitely wake Bucky up, so he just continues to trace them with his fingers. 


After a few minutes, Bucky shifts in his sleep. The motion tugs on Steve’s leg where it’s lodged between Bucky’s, and it makes him shift too. All at once Steve is very, very aware of the soreness in his ass, and very, very aroused.


Even when he was tiny, it would have taken a long, hard fuck to get to this level of soreness, but now that Bucky’s cock has actual honest-to-God spikes he can fuck Steve as gently as he pleases and still leave Steve aching in the morning. Steve rolls his hips to make the burn sharper and revels in the way his muscles protest, almost like he can still feel the spikes inside him. It’s not enough, of course, the serum has probably taken care of the worst of the burn, but God, it’s so good.


Steve’s cock leaks a little trail of precome where it’s hard against Bucky’s hip, and Bucky’s mouth opens against the top of Steve’s head, tasting the air.


That’s a new thing, too. But Bucky hadn’t been actively hiding the snakelike ability to take in scents on his tongue, Steve had just failed to recognize it for what it was.


No, Bucky had only been going out of his way to hide the really fun parts of his new biology.


“Stevie?” Bucky mumbles into his hair. “You up, doll?”


“Yeah,” says Steve. He pushes his cock against Bucky’s hip harder, just to be cheeky.


“Something you want?” Bucky asks. He sounds almost completely awake already— well, that’s a pretty expected side effect of years of hyper vigilance. Though Steve is probably going to miss the bleary-eyed grunting Bucky of mornings past, he has to say he’s in favor of how quickly other parts of Bucky are awake and ready to go, too.


“You,” Steve answers simply.


“You’ve gotta be starving,” Bucky says, considering.


“I’d definitely like something in my mouth,” Steve says. He rests his chin on Bucky’s chest to look up at him, biting his lip and making his eyes huge in an effort to entice Bucky to let Steve blow him. It doesn’t work, unfortunately.


“Side effect of you being you is we got no food in our fridge,” Bucky says. It isn’t really a complaint, at least not the way he says it. “But I bet you Stark has some kinda bottomless fridge up on his floor. I’ll be right back.”


Bucky extricates himself from Steve’s limbs and pulls on a robe, shivering as the fabric pulls over his nipples. Steve smirks.


“You really… you really like that I’m like this?” It’s too open, too honest, for Bucky to look at Steve’s eyes, but Steve answers him without hesitation, eager to reassure him.


“I love you any way that you are,” he says, “but yes, the nipples are very hot. And your cock is magnificent. I’ve never felt anything so intense; I can still feel it now.” He pauses for effect, licks his lips. “I’d really, really like to feel that down my throat if you’ll let me.”


“I, ah…” Bucky’s mouth works a few times like it’s suddenly gone dry. “We’ll see about that, okay, Stevie?”


“Hurry back,” Steve says, and he watches with some enjoyment as Bucky turns around to walk to the elevator.


Last night was probably the best idea Steve has ever had. He got to have Bucky again, in his bed and taking care of him, and he got Bucky to open up about things he hadn’t really wanted to yet, and he’d helped Bucky to feel better about his changed body. And now, the morning after, Bucky was venturing into the elevator and onto other Avengers’ floors by himself, something he would never have done in the first few weeks he was in the Tower. Steve feels inexpressibly proud of his friend’s achievements.


But some part of last night was due to Tony, Tony who has been more patient and more helpful to Bucky than Steve could ever have predicted. He thinks maybe he’s been unfair to Tony in the past, and he resolves to give him a little more leeway in the future.


It’s only a couple of minutes before Bucky returns, a platter of food held proudly in one hand. It’s all small things, bits of cheese, crackers, fruit, other things Steve would have to get up to identify, but there’s a lot of it. Enough to tide Steve over until they’re ready to get out of bed for a real breakfast, at least. And it’s all cut small enough that Bucky can feed it to Steve by hand.


Steve has never really understood Bucky’s love of feeding him— sure, Steve likes to eat, but it’s never been a sexual thing for him— but he knows Bucky likes to take care of him, and he doesn’t think he needs to understand everything to love Bucky right.


So Steve just rolls onto his back and sits up against the headboard, trying to stay soft and easy like he was when they played. Bucky shrugs off the robe, passing the platter from hand to hand to get the sleeves off, and then he climbs onto the bed to straddle Steve’s lap. His cock is mostly soft, but it’s quickly starting to perk up with interest as it rests against Steve’s stomach. Without being fully erect, the spines lie quiescent and unobtrusive against the shaft, but Steve can feel them catch on his belly, just a little, as Bucky shifts from side to side. 


It takes less than ten seconds for Steve to get back to full hardness, cock pressing against Bucky’s ass and making him smirk.


“Open up,” Bucky says. His eyes are wide and dark as he reaches for the first thing he wants to put in Steve’s mouth.


Steve’s lips part obediently, almost without direction, and he sighs with relief. Sometimes it’s hard for him to give in to Bucky, when he gets twisted up in his own head and Bucky’s caretaking feels coddling and patronizing, and he hates it. He knows those feelings are all in his own mind, that Bucky thinks the world of him, but in those moments he can’t imagine why.


Now, though, Steve can just lie there, feeling quiet and open, like he doesn’t need to talk at all. He can just receive whatever Bucky wants to give him.


He closes his lips around the first thing Bucky places in his mouth, and all at one a sharp, freezing flavor bursts in his mouth, almost painful in its intensity. His eyes widen and he coughs a little, and Bucky looks apologetic. What was that?


“Sorry, doll. Extra-strong mint.” Bucky shrugs. “You don’t wanna go kissing your cat-assassin-boyfriend with morning breath, do you?”


Steve gives him a speaking look and chews the mint obediently, letting the burning cold feeling touch all over his mouth. It eases after a moment into something slightly sweeter, and when he swallows all he can taste is mint. It’s probably an improvement from whatever his mouth tasted like before, at least.


Then Bucky brings something else to his mouth, and Steve takes it and chews it without thinking. It’s probably cheese, going by the texture, but the mint is still overwhelming.


The first few bites of food taste fairly awful and Steve has to fight not to grimace, but then the mint fades away into a neutral taste and Steve can start to enjoy the food more. It’s slow going, as far as he’s concerned, but he doesn’t feel like he needs to speed things up at all. He just stays as he is, quiet and still, and lets Bucky decide for him. He opens his mouth when Bucky’s fingers come up and chews and swallows.


After a while, though, Steve gets bolder. He remembers some things that Bucky used to like about this, even though they never had quite this much food to just use on playing.


The next time Bucky brings a bite to his lips, Steve takes it from his fingers and leaves a kiss behind, mostly lips but with a little flash of tongue. He chews slowly and closes his eyes as he swallows, and finishes off by licking his lips with relish. After that little performance, Steve doesn’t even need to open his eyes to check Bucky’s reaction; his hips jerk against Steve, and his spines are standing out straight, scraping against the hair under Steve’s navel. The head of Bucky’s cock feels damp where it bumps against Steve’s skin.


“Mmh,” Steve sighs contentedly. It’s so satisfying to know that Bucky is aroused because of him; it makes him feel languorous and sexy.


After a few more bites, Bucky brings Steve the cup of water from their bedside table and encourages him to drink it, setting it against his lips. Steve swallows thirstily. He hadn’t even realized it, but he was probably dehydrated just because it was morning. Bucky likes to see him drink, he knows, so he tilts his head back and lets himself moan at the feeling of cold water on his dry throat.


The process repeats for what feels like forever. Time has slipped away from Steve, and all he knows is the feeling of Bucky’s eyes on his body, Bucky’s spines pressing into his belly.


“You’re so pretty, baby,” Bucky says. “So good. How do you feel?”


Steve feels absolutely fantastic, like he’s floating off in his own world but at the same time he’s still so close to Bucky. He doesn’t think anything in the world could separate them right now. And Bucky— Bucky’s gorgeous, leaning over him with his long hair wild and his eyes so, so dark and hot and looking at Steve like he’s the greatest thing ever. Steve feels like he’d do anything for Bucky right now, Bucky could ask him to do anything and he would try his level best, just to keep that look in Bucky’s eyes. 


“I’m so good, Buck,” is all he can find the words to say. Words leave him, when he’s like this. He just fills up with feelings, swelling his heart to bursting, and his cock, too.


“What do you want now?” Bucky asks. Abruptly, Steve notices that the food and water are gone, though he doesn’t know when he finished them off. Bucky sounds like he really means his question to be answered, but Steve can’t think of anything. His cock is hard, so hard, but it feels distant, too. Like it’s less important than Bucky.


“Whatever you want,” Steve says. “Anything.”


“Oh, Stevie,” Bucky breathes. “You’re amazing, just perfect, baby. You deserve to have anything, everything, there has to be— oh.”


Steve doesn’t know what Bucky’s just thought of, so he just stays where he is, tracks with his eyes. He wants to be good for Bucky any way he can. Bucky’s praise is like an electric shock of pleasure up his spine, and he wants to earn more of it. Wants to deserve it.


Bucky climbs off of Steve and kneels beside him, helping him to sit up from where he’d been sprawled against the headboard. With a little coaxing and a little wonderful manhandling, Bucky maneuvers Steve off of the bed and onto his knees. Bucky himself sits on the edge of the bed with his knees wide apart, making space for Steve’s shoulders between them. Kneeling like this, with Bucky around and over him, Steve feels so sweet and quiet and held that he could almost cry, it’s so perfect. He presses a grateful kiss to Bucky’s thigh and rests his cheek there, waiting for instruction.


“You told me earlier you wanted something in your mouth, doll,” Bucky states. “That still true?”


The words wander lazily through Steve’s brain as he parses them, until he realizes that Bucky is asking if Steve wants to suck him and then Steve is nodding eagerly against Bucky’s thigh. He shivers a little with anxious excitement. What will it be like to get those spines on his tongue? Scraping the roof of his mouth? In his throat?


“You’re being so good, sweetheart. So sweet, so quiet. Just perfect for me,” Bucky says. He runs metal fingers through Steve’s hair, and Steve sighs with pleasure. “I’m gonna give you what you want, but you gotta tell me if it hurts you, okay?”


Steve frowns. He likes when it hurts. He’s always liked roughness, and the dig of those spikes against his insides last night, the way they jabbed into his tenderest parts and left them aching—


“Hurts bad, Stevie. Tell me if you hurt in a bad way,” Bucky instructs, and Steve nods. He’s not sure Bucky could hurt him in a bad way, but he knows better than to keep it quiet if he does. He learned that one the hard way when he was smaller, when he didn’t tell Bucky and Bucky pulled out to find that he’d made Steve bleed and he’d been so furious and scared he hadn’t touched Steve for a week.


Bucky tightens his metal hand in Steve’s hair and brings his other hand to Steve’s face, pulling his head up from where he’s been leaning on Bucky’s thigh. The callused pad of Bucky’s thumb strokes Steve’s mouth open tenderly, encouraging his lips apart, and then slips inside. Steve takes it in deep and laps with his tongue, loving the press in his mouth and the taste of Bucky’s skin. It’s not enough, though, just one finger could never be enough, even when they’re Bucky’s thick, sturdy fingers with all their strength. He whimpers when Bucky’s thumb turns in his mouth to stroke his sensitive palate.


And then, at last, Bucky’s thumb withdraws. Steve is disappointed for a fraction of a second, until he realizes that Bucky is just making space in Steve’s mouth for Bucky’s cock, and then he opens wider with excitement.


The first push into Steve’s mouth is so gentle, so tentative, but so perfect all the same. Steve’s tongue darts out to greet the blunt, sticky head of Bucky’s cock like the old friend it is, and then as Bucky thrusts further in he gets to lick over the spikes, too. They’re hard and pointed, but their tips aren’t a cutting kind of sharp, and as they first bump against Steve’s own teeth, he learns that they do have a little give in them. They don’t taste like anything but Bucky’s cock, but the way they feel against Steve’s tongue is like—


There’s nothing like it.


They scrape and press into his tongue, and his lips when Steve closes them around Bucky. They make Bucky’s cock feel like so much more than just the perfect weight in Steve’s mouth, but there’s no way to describe the sensation. Steve’s eyes flutter closed.


Bucky had said that touching the spines was intense, for him, which Steve kind of understands. He wants to make this as good as he can for Bucky, so he doesn’t worry about sucking like he usually would. Instead he works his tongue as best he can, giving attention to every one of Bucky’s spikes that he can reach. He presses on them, and licks along their short lengths, and digs the point of his tongue into the scant space between the rows of spikes, into the sensitive places where they rest when they lie flat. He presses his tongue hard against the underside of Bucky’s cock, and groans as it presses the spikes into his palate. 


At that, Bucky makes a keening noise like he’s dying and Steve finally looks back up. 


Bucky is panting hard, muscles rippling along his ribs as his chest expands and contracts. His nipples move with the motion, reminding Steve that he wants his mouth on them, too. 


“You’re— you’re doing great, Stevie,” Bucky says. His voice is strained and rough. “Do you want— you always wanted— can you take it deeper, sweetheart?”


Whatever you want, is what Steve wants to say, but his mouth is full so he just sucks harder, as though he could swallow Bucky down through force of suction alone. He can feel Bucky leak precome onto the back of his tongue, and his nearly forgotten cock flexes against his thigh.


“Yeah, I’m gonna take that as a yes,” Bucky says, caught between tentative and smug. It was always smug before, when he got to see Steve getting down on his knees, willing and eager to do a thing even prostitutes thought was dirty. Steve is still willing and eager, but he understands why Bucky is a little shyer with his cock nowadays.


It’s just that he has no reason to be. Steve adores the feeling of it on his tongue, and he’s wound tight with anticipation of the feeling of it in his throat. Bucky’s flesh fingers stroke gently along the side of his neck, reminding him to relax.


When Steve lets the tension go, Bucky rewards him with the first gentle push into the back of his mouth, just tapping at his throat. Steve makes little sounds of pleasure at the tease of Bucky’s cock, but he wants so much more. After another tap or two, testing Steve’s willingness, Bucky finally presses all the way in where Steve wants him, and it’s like everything in his mind shuts off at once. His vision goes white and he doesn’t even know what sounds are coming out of him anymore.


All Steve knows is that Bucky’s cock is in his throat, and it’s as good as it ever was, it’s better. The spines scrape at the delicate skin in Steve’s throat, pressing and tugging as Bucky thrusts slowly back and forth. it’s so intense that Steve can feel tears pricking at his eyes and he barely remembers to breathe when Bucky pulls back to let him.


He can hear his own cock dripping onto the floor, he’s so hard. 


Bucky should come down his throat now, Steve thinks. That would feel wonderful


Steve relaxes his throat and presses hard with his tongue, digging into Bucky’s hotspots when he remembers to do it. It’s hard to remember, because every time one of the rows of Bucky’s spikes thrusts into this throat anew Steve’s mind hazes out with pleasure and he moans helplessly. He might be drooling, and his cock definitely is, but that’s hardly important next to the knowledge that he’s pleasing Bucky.


Bucky’s sounds are quieter, but they’re slowly getting louder and more frequent as Bucky’s pleasure builds. That’s the only thing that matters to Steve right now. He puts all his energy into doing the things he knows Bucky likes, the things that make his cock twitch and drip in Steve’s throat. Anything Bucky wants, Steve will give him.


The mind-numbing haze of pleasure Steve gets in return is… almost incidental.


Then Bucky thrusts in twice more, hard, and holds himself in place with a tight grip in Steve’s hair, and oh, God he’s coming, he’s coming and Steve can feel it in his throat, the liquid heat and the burn as the sticky, salty fluid flows over the places Bucky’s spines abraded. It stings and it feels searingly hot and so good that the tears in Steve’s eyes finally leak from the corners. It’s almost better than his own orgasm, feeling Bucky come.


“Oh, oh God, doll, that was amazing, you know that, right?” Bucky says when he recovers the power of speech. “You were so perfect, baby. Do you want to come?’


And Steve— well, Steve would like to come, but at the same time he thinks he’d be happy just knowing that he made Bucky come.


“Whatever you want,” he says. He doesn’t want to decide.


“Alright, come up here, baby,” Bucky says. He gets his hands under Steve’s arms and drags him upward, taking his weight when Steve’s knees falter. “There you go, get settled,” he murmurs. Bucky lays back on the bed and lets Steve straddle him, Steve’s face level with Bucky’s chest and his cock pressed into Bucky’s thigh. Steve humps mindlessly a few times, until he realizes that Bucky hasn’t told him what to do yet. Then he just goes quiet and still again, and he waits. 


Bucky’s nipples are awfully close to Steve’s mouth, he thinks. And there are so many of them for him to enjoy.


“You go ahead, Stevie. Rub yourself off on me like I know you want to,” Bucky encourages, and Steve obeys automatically. He’s so hard after such a long, intense suck that the movements of his hips are beyond his control. His body is only listening to Bucky’s words, now. “And— and if you want to, baby, just if you want to, you can, ah, you can suck on me. On my nipples,” Bucky says. His skin goes suddenly very hot under Steve’s face and he adds, “On my, my teats.”


Steve’s eyes flutter closed and he falls to sucking almost literally, the muscles in his neck and shoulders collapsing and his face pressing into Bucky’s side. His mouth automatically roots out one of Bucky’s teats, one of the right ones, he thinks, but he’s too out of his mind to be any more specific. The nub feels so hard and good in his mouth that he can’t help moaning into it.


His hips work faster, and he registers dimly that Bucky is flexing his thigh muscles to help Steve along. Steve feels frantic, caught between the sensation of rutting into Bucky’s leg and sucking and tonguing at Bucky’s teat.


And then— and then the sound starts up, deep in Bucky’s chest, a low, constant rumbling that rises and falls like breathing and it vibrates through his body. It takes Steve’s addled brain a few seconds to put two and two together, but then he realizes that Bucky is purring, he’s so pleased by what Steve is doing that he’s purring, deep and steady under Steve’s mouth and hands, and that’s as far as Steve gets. He thinks, I pleased Bucky, I did well, and then he’s gone.


He comes hard, painting Bucky’s thigh and gasping into Bucky’s teat as he suckles clumsily. His eyes are squeezed shut and his tongue is slipping and his hips are working in a mindless haze, pressing his cock into Bucky’s thigh to milk the last few drops of come from himself.


Bucky is still purring under him when he collapses onto his chest, panting and heaving for breath. His mouth is hanging open, lower lip still pressed to Bucky’s nipple. 


He can feel another nipple under his collarbone, and one under his palm, and he can feel Bucky’s quiescent cock against his belly. All of it feels golden and hazy and perfect, like he never has to think again. But that’s okay, he thinks. Bucky’s got this one. He’ll handle it. It’s okay to just be sweet and quiet and small for a little while longer. Bucky’s still purring, still happy, so everything has to be okay.


“I love you so much, Stevie, you don’t even know. So much,” Bucky says. He drops a kiss in Steve’s sweaty hair and tightens the grip of his arms around Steve. “You’re perfect. Absolutely perfect.”


“Love you too, Buck,” Steve murmurs. His body feels so heavy and soft, and Bucky’s holding him in place, holding him with strong arms. Bucky’s got him.


And he’s got Bucky. His fingers twitch at Bucky’s sides, holding him right back.


Later, they’ll get up, and clean up, and probably get something real to eat. Later, there will be things to do for the day. Later. For now, they can just stay in bed and hold each other tight, and Steve can drift back to sleep with the rumble of Bucky’s purr under his cheek.