Chapter 1: We Dem Boyz
You have entered the group: We Dem Boyz
ChillingGriffin: Why in the name of Van Gogh’s right ear did you guys let me get an ART DEGREE
SexyLexy: I mean you were weeks away from graduating when we started dating, I couldn't find an appropriate time to tell my extremely new girlfriend to change her degree, sorry guess that's on me :L
ChillingGriffin: No babe as always you are the only constant, pure thing in my life
ChillingGriffin: it's the OTHER evil constants in my life who I’m asking
ChillingGriffin: Raven and Bellamy, my supposed childhood best friends, the ‘smart ones’ the ‘teachers’ and the ‘future engineers’
ChillingGriffin: where are you guys I’m having a Crisis™ and you've left me for dead
ThatsSoRaven: griffin u are so not chillin
ThatsSoRaven: BINCH what do you mean ‘history teacher’ ‘future engineer’ we ARE those things go graffiti a wall or something get the anger out
ThatsSoRaven: be Banksy he's a passive aggressive dick
SexyLexy: omg did u guys hear about the guy in England he spray painted dicks on potholes so the government was forced to fix them
ChillingGriffin: amazing the hero we never knew we needed
SexyLexy: they called him Wanksy
ThatsSoRaven: clarke is wanksy
SexyLexy: dam… i mean have u ever seen Clarke and Wanksy in the same room?? Suspicious….
ChillingGriffin: I hear wanksy is shredded… I hear wanksy has an eight pack
BellULater: oh my god
BellULater: I was subbing for the english teacher whose away on a field trip right
BellULater: n i was like to the kids okay do whatever the fuck u want just chill do homework live ur lives
ChillingGriffin: tbh tho i dont wanna hear the rest of this story bc if you had a free class then u have no excuse to not text us back
ThatsSoRaven: you missed clarke confessing that she was an english graffiti artist who rebels against the government by spray painting dicks
BellULater: so this kid decides to put his head on the desk and go to sleep #me
BellULater: and his friends decide to superglue his shoes to the ground bc when u leave teenage boys alone somethings getting superglued, so when the bell rings the kid is startled awake tries to stand up and then discovers he is FUCKING GLUED TO THE GROUND WITH NO HOPE OF MOVING
ChillingGriffin: LMAO MEEEE
ThatsSoRaven: amazing!!!! 10/10
SexyLexy: your school is so wild like I couldn’t imagine pulling that shit back in military school
ThatsSoRaven: two key words there lex ‘military school’
BellULater: but his little face the entire class was laughing while he was just STUCK there in a half standing position n he just turned to me really sadly and said ‘bellamy?’ in this wavering tone n ofc I caught the whole thing and didn’t know whether to laugh or hug him
BellULater: janitor had to scrape the shoes off the floor with a knife the kid was 20 mins late to class I wrote the teacher a note explaining what happened
ThatsSoRaven: what it say?? ‘lmao this fucking kid got punked and had his nikes glued to the ground by his fuck boi friends u shoulda seen it check my snapchat story I caught the whole fucking thing on video’
BellULater: ……. i mean ur not wrong
BellULater: pity I didn’t video it we coulda played it at his graduation :(
ThatsSoRaven: omg im stealing the superglue idea and doing it to that dickhead in my engineering class
ChillingGriffin: u say theyre all dickheads babe be a bit more specific
ThatsSoRaven: kyle fucking wick the racist MENISIST
BellULater: tbh im still not over the shock of us finding his twitter
BellULater: like one minute we were all teasing you about hooking up with him ((which I mean…yikes.. but u didn’t know he was trash its not ur fault)) and deciding to look him up and then the next minute we’re all staring at the screen
ThatsSoRaven: iknow…. It was such a slap in the face
ThatsSoRaven: and such a slap in the puthy too, first Finn, then Wick… why do I always hook up with evil
SexyLexy: okay but u hooked up with bellamy like u two are tru kings and queen
ThatsSoRaven: but I mean I actually considered dating wick whereas bell is just friends with benefits
BellULater: is that all I am to u?? ur whore??? Someone convenient to use while you go off and find the love of your life while im stuck at home waiting for your call???
BellULater: jk ur young n beautiful you should be living life and sleeping with every hot guy n gal thatpasses you fuck dating!!!!
ChillingGriffin: the superglue story cleansed my soul tbh
SexyLexy: u know the way we say every time monty laughs an angel gets his wings?? Every time clarke feels stressed a teenage boy gets his shoes superglued to the ground
BellULater: job search not going well babe??
ChillingGriffin: no one wants to hire a person with an art degree?? Tbh who wouldve thought???
ThatsSoRaven: I know!! all our lives we were told if you study art you are guaranteed a job idk what changed… puzzling
ChillingGriffin: no offence but y u r evil
ThatsSoRaven: had to sell my soul to the devil to get looks this good xxx
ThatsSoRaven: okay im soz im in my last year of college and I am Full Of Fear
ThatsSoRaven: hey Bell remember in high school me n clarke tied your shoes together when u were sitting down at lunch and fox the girl u were crushing on couldn’t find a seat so you jumped up like a tru gentleman and YELLED ‘fox im done u can have my seat!!’ even tho u werent done eating, and when she came over to sit down you started walking to her and TRIPPED AND U BODY SLAMMED HER TO THE GROUND AND HER TRAY WENT FUCKING FLYING ACROSS THE CAFETERIA SPAGHETTI ALL UP IN THE AIR
BellULater: did that happen?? :) tbh I can't remember :)
ChillingGriffin: WE remember I doubt Fox remembers since you knocked her out
BellULater: I didn’t come here to be disrespected???
SexyLexy: STOP IM SCREAMING
SexyLexy: like I can just imagine baby Bellamy calling Fox over and Raven and Clarke giggling wearing devil horns and then in slow motion you crash into her and the spaghetti flies through the air while Ave Maria plays
BellULater: lexa it was awful tbh it still haunts me
BellULater: I cant look at spaghetti without having flashbacks
BellULater: im sweatin
ChillingGriffin: his palms are sweaty knees weak arms are heavy
ChillingGriffin: theres vomit on his sweater already
ChillingGriffin: moms spaghetti
ThatsSoRaven: I wonder where fox is now
BellULater: the one that got away :(
SexyLexy: I wonder where katy perry is now
ThatsSoRaven: hell where she belongs
BellULater: prob busy planning what other cultures she can appropriate so she can be Quirky
SexyLexy: omg drag me but teenage dreams is such a tune
SexyLexy: reminds me of clarke xx it was the song playing on the radio when I picked her up for our first date xx
ChillingGriffin: don’t you hate it when your nipples fly out of your bra
BellULater: ano ffs that happens to me all the time I need a better bra
ThatsSoRaven: tbh lexa ur lucky if katy perry was playing when someone picked me up for the first date id prob turn the car around myself and drive home
ThatsSoRaven: after ripping the radio out of course xx
BellULater: someone stole my car radio and now I just sit in silence
ChillingGriffin: … anyways
ThatsSoRaven: lmao remember when we had to convince clarke not get a twenty one pilots tattoo
ChillingGriffin: ur all fake?? We all liked them once upon a time
BellULater: vessel >>>> over blurryface
ChillingGriffin: End This
ChillingGriffin: tgif gang whats the plan for tonight??
ThatsSoRaven: the same thing we do ever Friday night pinkie… pregame in Bellamys living room, get high and listen to the smiths while talking about world events and mature conversations like what would our role be in a post apocalyptic world and them after 3 hours of getting Turnt we all stumble to the dropship bar where shenanigans ensue and someone ends up on the roof
SexyLexy: Im still annoyed u all laughed at me when I said id be a leader of a whole warrior army in a post apocalyptic world fuck a fake friends where ur real friends at
ChillingGriffin: youre too diplomatic to be a leader idk I think thered be a lot of compromises if you were in charge
BellULater: I think thered be a lot of compromises if lexa was in charge of the bedroom ;;;;)
BellULater: bc we all know lexas is the most bottoms of bottoms
ThatsSoRaven: BELLAMY MY BOY IM SCREAMING
ThatsSoRaven: HE DID THAT HE DID THAT
SexyLexy has removed BellULater from the group: ‘We Dem Boyz’
ThatsSoRaven: what the fuck how dare you treat my husband like this?????
ThatsSoRaven has added BellULater to the group: ‘We Dem Boyz’
BellULater: I will fight ur lil gay ass Woods don’t fuckin test me u may be ripped but youre exactly 3 feet tall
ChillingGriffin: um?????? Me lexa and raven are ALL 5’5 we could take you down u big fucking tree
BellULater: is that a man in a trenchcoat or just clarke lexa and raven sitting on each others shoulders trying to sneak into an r rated movie
ThatsSoRaven: who would win in a fight bellamy armed with the superglued shoes or us in a trench coat
SexyLexy: bellamy could run at us with his head down like a bull and we would topple right over I don’t think we'd be very stable :(
ChillingGriffin: that’s such a mental image im laffin
ChillingGriffin: Bellamy The Bull
ChillingGriffin: but srs tho plans for tonight?? Bellamys then drop ship??
BellULater: ACTUALLY ya boy has a date for the evening!!! You can still go to my place and pre game with miller obvs n Ill prob swing by the dropship around midnight and join you xox
ThatsSoRaven: a date???? Before marriage??
ChillingGriffin: whats their name??
BellULater: her name is gina…
SexyLexy: where does she work??
BellULater: she helped me locate a book about the roman empire
ThatsSoRaven: do we have any mutual friends with her??
BellULater: END THIS
BellULater: why do you guys always facebook stalk everyone I ever meet
ThatsSoRaven: bc youre weirdly popular and have more friends with us and we are all ridiculously co-dependent we have to know everything about each other lives
BellULater: ye I know??? When I started working at the highschool you knew ever single teacher who worked there before i did!! Weirdos!!
ChillingGriffin: hey you Facebook stalked lexa when we went on our first date
BellULater: that’s because you had serious heart eyes for her and at the time she was considered our Enemy I was just looking out for my girl
SexyLexy: aw heart eyes clarke??
ChillingGriffin: I said I love you after our third date u know I had heart eyes binch
SexyLexy: I know but I love knowing you liked me as much as I liked you
ChillingGriffin: from the moment I laid eyes on you I was head over heels
ThatsSoRaven: this is cute… but also so fucking gay?? Stop it
ThatsSoRaven: whats gina like?? She cute??
BellULater: very cute you would like her I think
SexyLexy: do she got the booty
BellULater: LEXA OH MY FUCKING GOD
ThatsSoRaven: I hate you??? I hate you more than murphy and finn and wick put together??
BellULater: I don’t understand why you use memes from fucking 2012!!!!!! Why?????
BellULater: like you don’t even mean to do it you are literally incapable of using a meme from this month??
ThatsSoRaven: its disgusting??
BellULater: it's disgraceful??
ThatsSoRaven: in this day and age of meme culture??
SexyLexy: I don’t understand meme culture!!!!!
SexyLexy: back in my day we had things called ‘inside jokes’ which always stayed alive and never had a time limit
BellULater: ‘back in my day’ I swear to god I think youre actually an 100 year old woman reincarnated as a 21 one year old girl who doesn’t understand the young uns of the day
ThatsSoRaven: it would explain why youre so bad with technology
BellULater: ur insta be popping tho I cant believe ur insta famous and clarke is vine famous what sort of couple GOALS
ThatsSoRaven: kim and kanye who??
ChillingGriffin: we both have a couple 100 thousands followers we’re not famous
ThatsSoRaven: ‘couple 100 thousand followers’ oh yeah same who doesn’t lmao
ChillingGriffin: back to dragging lexa about memes tho…
SexyLexy: klorke why
ChillingGriffin: it's embarrassing??
ThatsSoRaven: hold the fuck up!!!!!
BellULater: clarke is that you???
ThatsSoRaven: what happened to the Lexa Outdated Meme Defence Squad???
BellULater: of which there was only one member, you, bc everyone is sick of lexas shit??
ChillingGriffin: yes well….
ChillingGriffin: she started singing what does the fox say yesterday…
BellULater: I Am Disgusted
ThatsSoRaven: DHDFJR I HONESLTY CANNOT PICTURE THIS???!!!
BellULater: is that song a meme tho
BellULater: actually its outdated as fuck I’ll let it pass
SexyLexy: thank u judge blake
ChillingGriffin: she started singing it while she was going down on me
SexyLexy: they don’t call me sexy lexy for nuthin I know what a woman wants
ThatsSoRaven: OH MY GOD
ThatsSoRaven: I AM SCREAMING!!!!!!!
BellULater: IM IN CLASS THEYRE DOING A TEST AND I HAD TO PRETEND TO HAVE A COUGHING FIT TO COVER THE SCREAMS
ThatsSoRaven: omg details like did she sing the words ‘what does the fox say’ and then start doing the fucking demonic yapping into ya puthy??
BellULater: delete this tbh????
ChillingGriffin: yes I was STARTLED
SexyLexy: it was in my head!! I just started singing
ChillingGriffin: ……. U had me lying in bed naked as the day I was born, about to eat me like a buffet dinner…. And the fucking fox song was in ur head???
BellULater: ur lucky u don’t have a dick that’s a boner killer right there my man
ThatsSoRaven: really??? Hmmm better test it out next time we hook up
ThatsSoRaven: next time ur getting a blow job ur getting a reyes remix of gangnam style
ThatsSoRaven: use ya dick like a microphone
SexyLexy: ur so talented
SexyLexy: when does ur mixtape drop??
SexyLexy: come to brazil
ChillingGriffin: no but bellamy I dried up like the savannah desert
SexyLexy: u liar it was like the titanic had just been hit by an iceberg and we were the only two without a life boat it was wet™
ThatsSoRaven: and cold??
BellULater: people died lexa
ChillingGriffin: rip jack and rose
ThatsSoRaven: they couldve both fit on that fucking board of wood??
SexyLexy: we are NOT having this debate again
ChillingGriffin: it hurts too much
BellULater: are these kids in my class kidding they know I can clearly see them cheating?? Amateurs
ThatsSoRaven: we were the kings and queens of cheating back in the day
ChillingGriffin: remember during my biology test I had the textbook beside me the entire time and I still failed?? How??
ThatsSoRaven: I still cant believe Dr Singh CAUGHT you cheating and didn’t do anything
SexyLexy: maybe that’s why u failed
ChillingGriffin: ur honestly not wrong babe
BellULater: g2g a kid just straight up fainted off her chair onto the ground ttyl xoxxooxox
ThatsSoRaven: omg hope shes okay xx I gotta blast too guys ive an exam I sadly cant cheat on
SexyLexy: good luck both of u xox
BellULater and ThatsSoRaven have left the group ‘We Dem Boyz’
ChillingGriffin: and then there was two :)
SexyLexy: I have a class that I could very potentially skip to go make my fave girl feel better ;)
ChillingGriffin: you know that’s what I like to hear
SexyLexy: oh I know what you like to hear
SexyLexy sent an audio recording into the group ‘We Dem Boyz’
ChillingGriffin: I honestly don’t know what I expected
ChillingGriffin: but you singing what does the fox say complete with animal noises while walking through a crowded area wasn’t one of them
SexyLexy: Im walking through campus, everyones looking at me, jealous of my talent I expect
ChillingGriffin: what else could it be
SexyLexy: so….. are you onboard the titanic right now or stranded in the desert
ChillingGriffin: why don’t you come find out ;)
ChillingGriffin has left the group ‘We Dem Boyz’
Chapter 2: spill the truth tea
Octavia and Lincoln join the gang, tag along as they discuss Avril Lavinge conspiracy theorists, first time sex talks and threesomes!
Slight trigger warning as there will be a mention on suicide, if you want to take fly on down to the bottom of the page, I'll explain in my notes why I brought it up.
So I haven't updated in like a month, oops sorry that pesky education caught up with me, of course in two days I have the most important exams in my life and instead of studying I'm writing a fanfic Full Of Sin
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
You are now entering the group: ‘spill the truth tea’
ChillingGriffin: Oh Shit She Back!
OctaviaTheYounger: what's up u meme loving fucks
ThatsSoRaven: where have you been?? You’ve been ghost for the past 24 hours??
SexyLexy: Beds empty! No note! Car gone, could have crashed, out of my mind with worry,
SexyLexy:Did you care?
ThatsSoRaven: alright lexa its 9 am and I am extremely hungover im gonna need you to take the theatrics down a notch if you would
SexyLexy: it's Harry Potter
ThatsSoRaven: okay im gonna need you to take ur *nerd theatrics down a notch
SexyLexy: harry james potter is not fucking nerdy take that back??
BellULater: harry james potter inspired a nation Reyes don’t make me come over here
OctaviaTheYounger: nice to see the Harry Potter Defence Squad is still in action
BellULater: Defence Against The Dark Squad
SexyLexy: lmao we should get that printed on tshirts
ChillingGriffin: yeah harry potter is cool!!
ThatsSoRaven: and clarke is right on time!!!
ChillingGriffin: shut up you all know I love Harry Potter??
BellULater: we all know you lie about reading the books
ChillingGriffin: for the 100th time I have read the fucking books!!!
OctaviaTheYounger: oh yeah??
OctaviaTheYounger: let me ask u this then, and you can NOT google bc we’ll know
OctaviaTheYounger: WHO is PEEVES???
ChillingGriffin: ha I know this one!!!
ChillingGriffin: hes a funny man and shouldn't have been left out of the movies bc he provided a lot of humour
ChillingGriffin: stick that in ur pipe and smoke it binch
SexyLexy: ‘hes a funny man’
BellULater: clarke be honest did you just hear us talking about peeves once and retained it for a moment like this??
BellULater: I think u did
ChillingGriffin: oh yeah?? Try to prove it in court asshole im taking u to the fucking cleaners
BellULater: for what??
ChillingGriffin: for inflaming my good name and reputation!!!
PresidentBaeLincoln: is Clarke trying to fit in again
ChillingGriffin: shut up Lincoln don't make me pull your hair out
ChillingGriffin: oh wait…
ChillingGriffin: I forgot….
ChillingGriffin: you're already bald
PresidentBaeLincoln: for the last time I am not bald I shave my hair for convenience
OctaviaTheYounger: and to show off that pretty bone structure am I right my main man??
PresidentBaeLincoln: you aint wrong baby g!
BellULater: O I thought I was your main man?
PresidentBaeLincoln: you're my main man Bell
OctaviaTheYounger: ur right Lincolns my squeeze and ur my main man, in a totes platonic sibling way obvs
PresidentBaeLincoln: I love being in a polygamous relationship with the Blake siblings
ThatsSoRaven: couple goals 2k16
SexyLexy: clarke and I are couple goals 2k16
OctaviaTheYounger: I agree
SexyLexy: Thank you Octavia most gracious and kind, my favourite of the Blake siblings
OctaviaTheYounger: I read the messages of clarke informing everyone you sang what does the fox say while going down on her. DAMN couple goals!! Wish Lincoln would do me like that!!
SexyLexy: I changed my mind im #teambellamy i love our rebel king
OctaviaTheKing: if Bellamys the king that means im the princess bitch suck this ass
SexyLexy: well you've got the manners of a princess
ThatsSoRaven: and hell yeah im the motherfucking princess
ThatsSoRaven: I can tell u like me too and u know im right
ThatsSoRaven: cause, she's like so whatever
ThatsSoRaven: you could so much better
ThatsSoRaven: I think we should get together now
ThatsSoRaven: and that’s what everyones talking about!
ThatsSoRaven: clarke you would interrupt me when I was just about to hit the chorus aka when the beats drops ur so white
SexyLexy: not to be dramatic but watching avril lavinge music videos as a child made me gay
ThatsSoRaven: which one? Sk8r girl or emo princess?
SexyLexy: I was too young at the time to notice the change
BellULater: I still don’t understand her change from sk8r girl who wore ties n skateboarded, to pop princess with long bleach blonde hair like im all for it but how did it happen?
BellULater: and of course there's ‘hello kitty’ which threw away any integrity her career had left
ChillingGriffin: maybe the song is really famous in japan and shes making hella paper?
BellULater: ah yes, who doesn't love it when a white person releases a song and capitalises on your culture and uses people of your race as convenient props?
ThatsSoRaven: spill that motherfucking truth tea bellamy!!!
SexyLexy: I fully get what youre saying and support it but is hello kitty considered japanese culture??
PresidentBaeLincoln: its huge over there and she did capitalise on it
PresidentBaeLincoln: I have a theory on why Avril changed so much from skater chick to princess
OctaviaTheYounger: babe not another conspiracy theory
SexyLexy: come on lincoln hit me with!! What happened to my girl Avril!
PresidentBaeLincoln: she died
PresidentBaeLincoln: she died, its not even a conspiracy theory I completely believe it
SexyLexy: elaborate please
PresidentBaeLincoln: according to Popular Internet Theory™ she died in 2003, I believe she died in 2004, just after the release of her emotional album ‘Under My Skin’ which in my opinion got snubbed for a grammy.
ChillingGriffin: so whose been the Avril Lavinge since 2004?
BellULater: and what about Hello Kitty? Is there a new Doppleganger for her?
PresidentBaeLincoln: I believe Avril 2.0 wanted to tell the world the truth about the death of Canada’s national treasure and she was terminated, Hello Kitty Avril is now Avril 3.0
SexyLexy: how did she die in 2004?
PresidentBaeLincoln: she was having a hard time after her parents divorce and then her grandpa died so she killed herself
OctaviaTheYoung: who would kill themselves over a grandparent like…
ChillingGriffin: yeah I don’t believe that
PresidentBaeLincoln: she isnt alive guys the music is proof
ThatsSoRaven: not to be dramatic but can we please not talk about suicide :) like im literally triggered
PresidentBaeLioncoln: shit Raven I'm so sorry
ThatsSoRaven: no it’s fine!! I kinda feel like a baby for pointing it out I just feel uncomfortable
OctaviaTheYounger: NEVER feel uncomfortable around us we completely get it
PresidentBaeLincoln: no its my fault!! I wasn’t even thinking I'm sorry don't feel like a baby its perfectly fine
BellULater: we’ve all got shit going on with us if one of us feels uncomfortable we’d all understand and try to help
SexyLexy: this is a safeplace filled with friends
ChillingGriffin: love you Ray xxx
ThatsSoRaven: you guys im gonna cry omg love my pals xxxxx
ThatsSoRaven: but yeah im #chill now so lets change the subject lol
ChillingGriffin: Lincoln n O were where you guys yesterday
OctaviaTheYounger: having a sex marathon
ChillingGriffin: well then
BellULater: MY BABY SISTER??? HAVING SEX?? LINCOLN HOW DARE YOU TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HER IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS I SWEAR TO GOD
BellULater: SIKE! Yes baby sis get that dick
OctaviaTheYounger: thanks Bell!!! Love my big bro!!
SexyLexy: your relationship is so confusing my family would never talk like this
BellULater: it wasn't always like this but then I helped my mom give birth to O and theres no going back after that
BellULater: you either be traumatised or roll with it
OctaviaTheYounger: Bellamy bought me my first pack of condoms when I started thinking about sex
ThatsSoRaven: he did that for all of us
ChillingGriffin: he also gave all of us the most in dept sex talk ever experienced
ThatsSoRaven: there was a powerpoint on every sexuality, he went through straight sex, lesbian sex, gay sex, anal, std’s EVERYTHING it was amazing
BellULater: im the oldest it was my responsibility
ThatsSoRaven: you're 1 month older than me :) but okay
ChillingGriffin: it was great especially considering my mother, the doctor, just threw a pamphlet with basic sex information at me
SexyLexy: well I grew up in military school so no sex ed for me
ThatsSoRaven: just a lot of same sex banging in the bathroom
SexyLexy: essentially thank fuck we were all secretly gay af or else there would have been so much teen pregnancies
BellULater: honestly that was my worst fear as teen being best friends with three girls like the baby would’ve been adorable and we all woulda had a blast raising it but the Fear™
PresidentBaeLincoln: wasn't it weird hearing Octavia talk about having sex for the first time?? I mean that’s ur baby sis
BellULater: Lincoln idk if you have some internalised misogyny or if its because youre an only child but no!!!
BellULater: I mean when O told me she had sex for the first time I got a lil #emotional but just because it meant we were all growing up not because my poor baby sister was suddenly impure or taken advantage of or whatever they the older brothers say on tv
OctaviaTheYounger: let Lincoln live he was raised in an old fashioned home he just wants to respectful he's still learning
OctaviaTheYounger: lmao Bell remember when I lost the big v and when I came home we sat on the kitchen floor eating ice cream until 5 am
OctaviaTheYounger: we always did that any date or party we went to we’d always stay up talking
ThatsSoRaven: you STILL do it living with Octavia is a nightmare
ChillingGriffin: ‘he just wants to be respectful’ lmao remember when Bellamy and Lincoln met for the first time
ThatsSoRaven: lmao I forgot!!!
PresidentBaeLincoln: I haven't
OctaviaTheYounger: I still have war flashbacks
OctaviaTheYounger: as if I wasn’t nervous enough introducing my brother, the most important person in my life to a guy I really liked but at the time happened to be the Enemy™ and then he had to go and do that
ThatsSoRaven: play the flashback footage!!
OctaviaTheYounger: I will NEVER forget everyone was already salty that Clarke and I were starting to date the Enemy™ and I finally got Lincoln and Bell in the same room
ChillingGriffin: and what happened???
OctaviaTheYounger: I’ll tell ya what happened Griffin!!
OctaviaTheYounger: by dear, respectful, traditional boyfriend, walked up to my dear, woke, modern brother, shook his hand, looked him directly in the eye and said ‘don't worry Bellamy, I’ll take care of your little sister, I wont hurt her.’
OctaviaTheYounger: THE FUCKING LOOK BELLAMY GAVE ME I’LL NEVER FORGET
ThatsSoRaven: [Bellamy looks into camera like he's in the Office]
BellULater: I just went …. Anyways….
BellULater: like 1) Octavia could kick anyones ass, she could kick her own ass she doesn't need any one to ‘take care of her’ 2) ‘I wont hurt her’ ?? why you telling ME this tell your girlfriend that!! Not her brother!!! Shes a mature lady who can take care of herself and make her own mistakes!!!
PresidentBaeLincoln: that was a year ago!!! I've learned I’ve grown I consider myself an intersectional feminist lets chill with past embarrassing memories
SexyLexy: that’s good tho!! The whole point of having friends is to help you grow and be a better person by correcting your mistakes
OctaviaTheYounger: you were already kind and lovely just a lil old fashioned
OctaviaTheYounger: but I’ll never forget the look Bell gave me
OctaviaTheYounger: it was just ‘really?’
BellULater: I honestly didn't think he would hang around for long
ChillingGriffin: and then one day
BellULater: and then one day we were playing basketball and Lincoln stood in front of the sun as he took his shirt off
BellULater: and the light was streaming behind him like he really was an angel sent from heaven
ThatsSoRaven: and then
BellULater: and then I seen his abs and now my little sister was a mature lady who made her own decisions and once again she had acted wisely
PresidentBaeLincoln: thanks babe
SexyLexy: Lincoln really is in a polygamous relationship with the Blake siblings
ChillingGriffin: Bellamy how was ur date with Gina the librarian?
OctaviaTheYounger: did you guys have fun last night??
ThatsSoRaven: it feels like I haven't seen you guys in forever even tho it’s been exactly a day
OctaviaTheYounger: that crippling co dependancy!!! Squad goals!!
BellULater: will we go to that diner Lexa broke her ankle at and get brunch??
SexyLexy: I’m banned from said diner due to backflipping off the table and breaking my ankle, which you all dared me too, and it's 9 am it would be considered breakfast
ChillingGriffin: you look cute in a hat babe
ThatsSoRaven: yes bacon time!!! I have to wait until the guy and the girl in my bed wake up and leave my apartment and then I'm game
PresidentBaeLincoln: LMAO YOU KEPT THAT QUIET
BellULater: GO BEST FRIEND THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND
OctaviaTheYounger: i love Raven so much
SexyLexy: omg isnt it so awkward when you have a threesome at someone elses apartment and you and the other person leave the apartment together in the morning as if you didn't just sleep with them
PresidentBaeLincoln: LEXA had a threesome
SexyLexy: what do you mean ‘a’ threesome there's been more than one
ThatsSoRaven: ITS ALWAYS THE FICKING QUIET ONES
ChillingGriffin: THAT’S MY GIRLFRIEND THAT’S MY GIRLFRIEND
OctaviaTheYounger: I love Lexa
PresidentBaeLincoln: why is everyone having threesomes @ octavia we need to have one
PresidentBaeLincoln: we’ve had sex on top of a ferris wheel at the county fair when it broke down for 20 minutes but we haven't had a threesome?? What are we cave people??
BellULater: im so annoyed that youre dating my sister otherwise I’d be naked in your bed looking for someone dtf on tindr right this second
BellULater: but always slay Lexa get that puthy!!!
OctaviaTheYounger: remember we thought Lexa was too cold and boring for Clarke? Lol
ChillingGriffin: lol is right bitch my girl keeps all y’all on your toes
OctaviaTheYounger: can we make a pact that 2016 is gonna be a year of new experiences, slutty behaviour, going wild
OctaviaTheYounger: we’re young we’re free we’re beautiful
OctaviaTheYounger: LETS LIVE BITCHES
ThatsSoRaven: im in!!! oh and @ bellamy im always dtf ;)
PresidentBaeLincoln: can we talk about the hottest bombshell of 2016
PresidentBaeLincoln: Raven is in the aftermath of a threesome and Lexa has had multiple??
PresidentBaeLincoln: im shook to my core and also very jealous
ChillingGriffin: brunch!!! 40 minutes and Raven if your buddies arent awake kick them the fuck out you're not running a b&b
ThatsSoRaven: okay, order me my usual when you get there because im so fucking hungry im contemplating eating the girl
OctaviaTheYounger: eating her puthy or eating her flesh
ThatsSoRaven: disgusting none of you are free from sin, none of you
BellULater: meet you all there! And Lexa wear sunglasses bc they have ur picture blown up on the wall behind the counter as you walk in through the door and unless you want to pay for the light you broke during your gold medal backflip id suggest you stay hidden
SexyLexy: goddammit ur right
ChillingGriffin: k!! see you all then after me n Lex have a quickie
OctaviaTheYounger: lmao same Lincoln get those boxers off
PresidentBaeLincoln: im right next to you is it necessary for you to text me
OctaviaTheYounger: and yet you texted me back :)))))
BellULater: USE THE EMERGENCY CONDOMS I PUT IN EVERY DRAWER OF YOUR APARTMENT
OctaviaTheYounger: im at Lincolns apartment
BellULater: yeah I know lol I put condoms in all his drawers because you never know when the sexiness is gonna happen and you end up banging in the kitchen you need protection
ThatsSoRaven: theres condoms all over my apartment thanks to you Bell do you get paid by trojan to sponsor them? To get their name out there in every nook and cranny?
BellULater: I do it to everyone, I even stocked in up in Lexa the Lesbian™ apartment bc I hear dildos can get unsanitary
ThatsSoRaven: jesus that is not information I needed to have at 9 am on an extremely hung over morning
BellULater: oops sorry
BellULater: go throw up if you need to
BellULater: at least it would wake up your sleepover pals
ThatsSoRaven: im good the nausea has passed
ThatsSoRaven: oh my friends are stirring awake
ThatsSoRaven: the girl is literally waking up with a smile on her fave damn I’m good in bed
ThatsSoRaven: ‘I’m so happy I put so much effort into my vagina last night I’m so glad it wasn’t wasted’
ThatsSoRaven: well then
BellULater: lmao me
ThatsSoRaven: lmao the guy just went ‘well I’m glad your vagina wasn't wasted but I certainly was yo Rachel (that me) you got any aspirin?’
BellULater: that’s also me
BellULater: I’m leaving the house now Rachel I wanna get to the diner a little early to see if they remember a tiny backflipping brunette and her loud cheering group of friends
ThatsSoRaven: it was literally last month but go for it babe. See you in 20 xx
You are now leaving the group: ‘spill the truth tea’
Y'all know how in the show ALLIE took over Raven's body and forced her to slit her wrists so Abby would get on board with the City Of Light pitch? Well I've decided to include that in my fic as I've had friends who got in a dark place in their lives and tried to commit suicide but they're in a much better place now and our healthy and there's such a stigma attached to mental health and if I can try to change that in the teeniest way possible by including a couple of mentally ill folk in my fics I will.
ALSO in all the fics I've ever read Bellamy initially hates Lincoln and gives him the cliche 'don't hurt my baby sis' speech but in the show Bellamy only hated Lincoln because he was a grounder who, you know, essentially kidnapped Octavia but after a while they became best bro's so that's the way I'm developing this story
Also the Avril Lavinge conversation is one I've had in real life with my friend and her boyfriend, I am not a believer but the boyfriend is adamant that miss Lavinge is long gone
Love it? Hate it? Couldn't understand it? Drop me a comment I need feedback!!
Chapter 3: Let's get down to business, to defeat the huns
This fandom is pretty wild, y'all know it's possible to ship Clexa and still like Bellamy right? Y'all know it's possible to ship Bellarke and still like Lexa right? I mean I ship Clexa and friendship Bellarke, so I consider all three characters my children so this fandom always makes me feel uncomfortable as hell and it's one of the reason why no matter what fanfiction I write about the 100 I'll probably always have Bellamy and Lexa be good pals because there's so much negativity.
Anyway hope you enjoy xx
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
You are now entering the group: Let's get down to business, to defeat the huns
BellULater: When am I ever not hungover
SexyLexy: It’s a Thursday morning you mess sort your life out
BellULater: Do not sign me up for Alcoholics Anonymous again you little gremlin
SexyLexy: Teehee that was so funny
BellULater: Some random fucks showed up to my apartment talking about the 12 steps I’m still shook and I was getting emails for WEEKS
SexyLexy: You signed me up for sex addicts!!
SexyLexy: You piss in my house, I piss in your house
BellULater: You and Clarke had sex in my bed right next my unconscious body, you were out of control, like I HAD to sign you up for Sex Addicts
BellULater: gremlin or not I still care about you
SexyLexu: u liked it
BellULater: I most definitely did not
BellULater: you have no idea how scary it was waking up the next morning naked beside the two of you
BellULater: Like imagine waking up beside your lifelong best friend and her most definite gay girlfriend
BellULater: the most awkwardest threesome ever
SexyLexy: I don't understand how you sleep naked every night
SexyLexy: What if someone breaks into you home how will you defend yourself??
SexyLexy: I already have 10 emergency plans and scenarios worked out incase something happens to Clarke and I whilst we are Intimate™
ChillingGriffin: It’s true she stages different emergency scenarios once a month so I’ll be prepared for anything
ChillingGriffin: ‘Safety is most important Clarke, we have to have a plan incase something happens now quit trying to get in back into bed and grab a machete in case the aliens have tentacles.’
BellULater: Sleeping naked is just a habit, I mean how many people do I sleep with on a regular basis?
SexyLexy: Hello is this the Sex Addicts hotline I’d like to sign my friend up for a meeting, his name? Pot, I’m kettle.
ThatsSoRaven: Weren't you guys drunk when you had sex next to Bellamy? Like Bell was passed out due to downing a mixed bottle of sambuka and vodka??
BellULater: Please don't remind me of that night
ThatsSoRaven: I'm just saying how many times have I drunkenly walked into you having sex with someone and my only reaction was to go ‘get it Bellamy!’ and then promptly curl up in a ball on the floor and pass out
ThatsSoRaven: we’ve all done it
BellULater: well usually your reaction these days is ‘get it Bell! Move over lil Ravens gotta spread her wings!’ but I see your point
PresidentBaeLincoln: why is everyone having threesomes good God
BellULater: Obvs I’ve seen Lexa and Clarke the dirty sex addicts get it on hundreds of times I just don't understand why they had to do it NEXT TO ME
BellULater: roll me on the floor next time guys
ChillingGriffin: we didn't want to hurt you Bell we wanted you to be comfortable
SexyLexy: your happiness and health are all we care about Bellamy
BellULater: Okay… y’all needa chill
ChillingGriffin: We love you Bellamy.
SexyLexy: You're so important to us Bellamy.
BellULater: what the fuck I feel like I joined a cult
ThatsSoRaven: Maybe when they had sex next to you it was part of a ritual
SexyLexy: I'm laughing
BellULater: I’m disgusted
BellULater: Actually I’m gonna throw up in my desk drawer
ThatsSoRaven: Bell you’ve fried my head, I mean how many of our teachers do you think showed up to school hungover??
ChillingGriffin: How many teachers do you think show up late to their classes last day of finals because they were busy banging the home ec teacher in her mini cooper??
ThatsSoRaven: How many teachers do you think didn’t show up to school for 3 hours because they were having kinky sex with a married woman, who tied said teacher to the bed frames with scarves and then went off to pick her husband up from the airport??
BellULater: why am I constantly being reminded of my mistakes
PresidentBaeLincoln: Mistakes help people grow apparently
ChillingGriffin: I really thought we had overcome every level of friendship possible but then I got a call at 10 am from a frantic Bellamy yelling an address into the phone so I could come ‘cut him loose and rescue him.’
BellULater: I still can't believe you took pictures of me in such a vulnerable position
ChillingGriffin: Your ankles and hands were tied to the bed by pink flowery scarves and you were completely naked ur damn right I'm taking pictures
SexyLexy: Clarke called me after she picked you up and I thought something horrible had happened until I realised she was crying from laughter
BellULater: Something horrible had happened!!!
PresidentBaeLincoln: I still can't believe you dislocated your shoulder to get to your phone on the bedside table
BellULater: That was the day I cursed smart phones and wished for the gold old days, before touch screens and passcodes were necessary
BellULater: I was practically crying when I had strain my body over the bed and use my nose to open my phone and scroll for Clarkes number
ThatsSoRaven: Still hurt you didn't call me
BellULater: I barely had strength to scroll to the ‘C’s’ in my phone, let alone to the ‘R’s’ I very nearly thought fuck it and was about to call Clarkes mom because she's the first in my contact list
ChillingGriffin: She woulda loved it
ThatsSoRaven: nah she has a crush on me
ChillingGriffin: She actually does! Which is weird considering she's homophobic
ChillingGriffin: Actually she's not even homophobic, she's so accepting towards other people. Not to her own daughter tho! Nah fuck my happiness I’ll just ‘meet a nice guy when I'm older and settle down with him.’
ThatsSoRaven: Fuck her I’m your mother now go deepthroat a dildo while I buy you a prom
dress made out of a bisexual flag
ChillingGriffin: It’s too early if I start thinking about my mom now I'm just gonna get all riled up and be in a bad mood all day.
ThatsSoRaven: Bell why are so hungover I thought it was just you and Octavia hanging out last night?
ThatsSoRaven: Wait never mind I just answered my own question
ChillingGriffin: Another Blackout Blake Bash then?
BellULater: well not really it was a pretty quiet night
ChillingGriffin: Okay but you two consider a night ‘quiet’ only when it doesn’t end in a police chase so what went down
OctaviaTheYounger has entered the groupchat: Let's get down to business, to defeat the huns
OctaviaTheYounger: Bellamy how cute are our tattoos!!
PresidentBaeLincoln: I knew I shouldn't have left early last night
ChillingGriffin: Y’all got tattoos?? Are they matching
ThatsSoRaven: Lincoln your FOMO is showing
PresidentBaeLincoln: Fomo? Fuck Our Monkeys Out?
ThatsSoRaven: No you sweet natured idiot. Fear Of Missing Out
OctaviaTheYounger: Yep they are matching. I got ‘Bellamy’ on one of my collarbones and ‘Aurora’ on the other collarbone. Bell got the same with me and moms name.
ThatsSoRaven: That's so cute omg!!
SexyLexy: sibling goals as hell
ChillingGriffin: Adopt me!!!
BellULater: we had this planned for a long time we were gonna wait till O’s 21st birthday because you know the way we all got our first tattoos when me and Raven were 16 and Clarke was 15 and O was an iddy baby 14 year old so we were like hey lets wait until you're an Official Adult!!
ThatsSoRaven: Cute logic even though you both have several tattoos already
ThatsSoRaven: I love matching tattoos the four of us should get one since we’ve been friends for like two decades
SexyLexy: I can't get over me and Clarke both having infinity tattoos before we even met
SexyLexy: Like we already have matching tattoos!!
ChillingGriffin: I know if that doesn't mean we’re soulmates what else does??
ThatsSoRaven: Having matching infinity tattoos doesn't mean you're soulmates it means you're both white
PresidentBaeLincoln: DRAG THEMMMMMM
ThatsSoRaven: I reckon my soulmate is simply a girl who drinks too much vodka at the beginning of every night out and ends up dancing on the bar counter in just her bra and then has a reheated mcdonalds big mac for breakfast washed down with a jäger bomb
ChillingGriffin: You can't be your own soulmate Raven
ThatsSoRaven: Yes I can have you seen me? No one is worthy of me
ThatsSoRaven: In other news I’ve pulled an all nighter in the library and if this line in starbucks doesn't hurry up I'm seriously gonna kill someone I need caffeine pronto
BellULater: Ahh that explains it
ThatsSoRaven: Explains what?
BellULater: Why you weren't home last night
OctaviaTheYounger: In other news Bellamy and I broke your wardrobe door and I dislocated my shoulder while doing it
ThatsSoRaven: I’m too tired and wired on sugar to feel anger I just want an explanation
OctaviaTheYounger: It’s technically Bellamys fault
BellULater: Thanks kid
OctaviaTheYounger: we were slow dancing around the apartment to our rave playlist
SexyLexy: There's a sentence I’d never thought I’d read
OctaviaTheYounger: And Bellamy accidentally walked me into Ravens open wardorbe door and, well it broke and I dislocated my shoulder
OctaviaTheYounger: But don't worry Lincoln will fix it!
PresidentBaeLincoln: Will I?
ThatsSoRaven: No it's okay I need something to do with my hands I have a lecture in two hours and if I go home and sleep I’ll just ruin my life
ThatsSoRaven: Guess we’re even now after the time I used your hair straighteners to light a joint huh? Xxx
OctaviaTheYounger: I mean I still have the smell of weed in my hair every time I straighten it but I guess this wasn't the first and it wont be the last time we’ve fucked each other lives up.
ChillingGriffin: I love hearing Raven and Octavia’s weekly roommate adventure stories
ChillingGriffin: We literally are the friends tv show come to life
PresidentBaeLincoln: Friends was made up of a bunch of straight, cis white people but okay
BellULater: I guess I missed the episode were Ross had to take Monica into the emergency room at 3 am with a dislocated shoulder and a bag full of alcohol
ThatsSoRaven: Tell me you two didn't keep drinking when you were at the hospital
OctaviaTheYounger: It was for the pain xx
ThatsSoRaven: That's it I'm coming out with you two on Friday night
ChillingGriffin: Octavia and Bellamy spend every Friday night with us Raven I'm hurt
ThatsSoRaven: Well they didn't last week!!
ChillingGriffin: Last week you ended up having a threesome with an actor from the cw and and a dallas cowboys cheerleader don't you cheek me young lady
ThatsSoRaven: I know I miss them
ChillingGriffin: Not that I care or anything but… was my mom at the hospital last night?
OctaviaTheYounger: We didn't see her. We got that Doctor Becca again, you know the one who fixed Lexa’s ankle and stitched up Millers face that time after the fridge incident
SexyLexy: We have got to drink less
OctaviaTheYounger: Yeah she recognised us, she asked what we did this this time as soon as she saw us, she thought the wardrobe story was funny, especially when we played the rave playlist for her while she was putting my shoulder back in place
SexyLexy: Oh we have got to drink less
ThatsSoRaven: Catch Lexa tomorrow night buying us all shots as soon as we set foot in the Dropship
SexyLexy: That's were all my money goes buying you fuckers shots every week
BellULater: I cannot wait to go home to nap this hangover off
BellULater: Do you think I could get a class of 16 year olds to colour in while I quietly die on my desk?
ChillingGriffin: Oh it's such a power trip when someone else is hungover and you wake up funky fresh
OctaviaTheYounger: Yes congrats on not being hungover on a Thursday you are truly a person who has their shit together
ChillingGriffin: Hello Alcoholics Anonymous
BellULater: I put on a youtube video about Stalin and his victims I think it’ll wake them up
ThatsSoRaven: Unpopular opinion but I would fuck Stalin
ThatsSoRaven: Like that moustache!!! Omg daddy
ThatsSoRaven: He murdered 20 million people and I want my puthy to be the next victim
ChillingGriffin: That's it I'm kinkshaming
PresidentBaeLincoln: I had a sex dream about Bernie Sanders
ThatsSoRaven: aw without me?? ;);)
ChillingGriffin: why are we friends
PresidentBaeLincoln: He kept saying don't worry you won't have to pay for college after this and I kept trying to tell him I graduated three years ago but he wouldn't listen
ThatsSoRaven: omg did you have a sex dream about Bernie Sanders being ur sugar daddy
SexyLexy: He’s so old that isn't even daddy that’s granddaddy
ChillingGriffin: I’d fuck Bernie for money idc
PresidentBaeLincoln: Nah I mean I was always gonna vote for him but now I feel more connected to him, it's about more than money, we genuinely cared for each other it was sweet sweet love making
SexyLexy: How could y’all even consider that I’m so glad I'm gay
ChillingGriffin: I’m in it for the coin
PresidentBaeLincoln: I'm in it for the love
ThatsSoRaven: I'm in it to assassinate Trump
OctaviaTheYounger: The reheat pizza button on the microwave changed my life
OctaviaTheYounger: I'm a new woman
OctaviaTheYounger: The girl you knew before today is a distant memory
BellULater: One time in college when I was doing my midterms and wired out on redbull and coffee and a substantial amount of weed I had a dream George Washington crept in through my window and stroked my face while singing Ghetto Gospel to me. Which I thought was a bit weird but it was always said he was a people person right?
PresidentBaeLincoln: Lexa what were our lives like before they were infiltrated by a group of trainwrecks
ChillingGriffin: You spent your days watching Friends on Netflix not realising that your own group of friends was travelling your way
SexyLexy: We spent a lot more time eating salads and a lot less time at pie eating contests that's for damn sure
ThatsSoRaven: I'm proud to be third consecutive winner of Mrs Bettys All You Can Eat Pie Contest thank you very much
PresidentBaeLincoln: And I had a lot more money
ChillingGriffin: Hey we went splitties on that 20 foot life size Tyrannosaurus Rex don't you forget
SexyLexy: And my hair wasn't shot to smithereens because it wasn't dyed every colour of the rainbow
BellULater: Please we looked so good in every colour, you suited green so much especially with your eyes. Anyway Clarke jumped your bones every time I dyed your hair a new colour so your welcome for that by the way.
PresidentBaeLincoln: And I wasn't banned from every 7/11 in the state
ThatsSoRaven: How was I suppose to know the slushie machine was explode from overuse?? It was a heatwave
SexyLexy: Yeah Lincoln our life was so much easier a year ago
PresidentBaeLincoln: Maybe a little too easy
BellULater: squad goals
ThatsSoRaven: That’s so sweet
OctaviaTheYounger: I just threw up a mixture of pizza and vodka vomit onto the cat
ThatsSoRaven: And the moment is over
ThatsSoRaven: Wait we don't have a cat?!?!
BellULater: In other news the Blake siblings passed by an animal shelter this morning
OctaviaTheYounger: She’s called Mary Jane Reyes-Blake and we love her
BellULater: Well we think it's a she
OctaviaTheYounger: She’s very shaggy for a cat
ThatsSoRaven: Oh great shedding the furniture!!
ThatsSoRaven: Well I'm running home right now and they/them better be on it’s way home
OctaviaTheYounger: oh haha Raven thank you I needed that laugh they/them are going to be here forever!!!!!!
OctaviaTheYounger: But do hurry home because MJ is covered in vomit and leaping around the apartment
ThatsSoRaven: Oh I am going to kill you
ChillingGriffin: Since I'm currently jobless Bellamy is it okay if I paint you and Millers apartment? I’m thinking of a disney/space theme running across the walls
BellULater: Go for it kid, you got the spare key?
ChillingGriffin: I’ve been here since you left for work, hope you like having Rapunzel and Mulan fighting aliens on your front door!!
PresidentBaeLincoln: I'm so glad I met you guys
You are now leaving the group: Let's get down to business, to defeat the huns
Thoughts? Opinions? Love it? Hate it?
I was reading through the story earlier and I noticed there's a recurring theme involving alcohol and hangovers, sorry I guess that's just where I'm at with my life right now.
Alot of this fic is based on shit that happened my friends and I, for example last weekend my friends broke my other friends wardrobe door and I dislocated my shoulder and we all ended up getting even more turnt at the hospital because we are the scum of the earth.
Hope you enjoyed and please shoot me a comment! Even one as simple as 'this is trash delete bitch,' or 'wow amazing where's the Pulitzer?' Gotta have some feedback!!
Chapter 4: Ross and Rachel were on a break but that doesn't justify him sleeping with someone else 3 hours later. He did essentially cheat on her. Especially since they got back together the very next morning. I don't blame Rachel for breaking up with him.
The gang discuss the Olsen twins, Lana Del Rey and Scooby Doo themed kinks
Hey ya'll it's been a while, I'd exams to do and now that's done and dusted I wanna focus more on fanfic, if you'll have me of course. I'm not confident with this but because it's been a while it took me a little while to get into the groove of things, it's not the best or the funniest but enjoy it! This chapter requires basic knowledge of; rap, the Olsen twins, Lana Del Rey, Game of Thrones, and Scooby Doo.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
You are now entering the group: Ross and Rachel were on a break but that doesn't justify him sleeping with someone else 3 hours later. He did essentially cheat on her. Especially since they got back together the very next morning. I don't blame Rachel for breaking up with him. I mean the trust is GONE! What would happen if they got into another fight? Would he cheat again? - thoughts going through Rachels head. Also the incident was made even worse because the only reason they had The Break was because Ross thought she would cheat on him with Mark! It was so hypocritical and highlights how much of a child Ross is. Their situation brings to mind a quote by Lao Tzu - "He who does not trust enough will not be trusted." In summary Ross is an asshole and Rachel should have ran to Paris and never looked back.
ThatsSoRaven: [Snoop Dogg voice] Greetings loved ones, let's take a journey.
OctaviaTheYounger: A journey to where?
BellULater: The shadow realm
OctaviaTheYounger: Do I need a passport to get there?
ThatsSoRaven: I think Kanye would smell really nice
OctaviaTheYounger: I honestly believe Drake cries after sex like there's no other way. Also you know he a cuddly bitch
BellULater: I just want Tupac back :(
BellULater: He was the first guy I was ever attracted to, even now I can't listen to Hail Mary without getting a boner
ChillingGriffin: Pull up in the monster automobile gangster, with a bad bitch that came from Sri Lanka, yeah I’m in that Tonka, colour of Willy Wonka, you could be the King but watch the Queen conquer
SexyLexy: I always felt I was Snoop Doggs love child
ThatsSoRaven: You would be incorrect about that Lexa considering you're the whitest girl I know. I've seen pigeons with more rhythm than you.
SexyLexy: Go fuck yourself with the pointy end of a fork Reyes
OctaviaTheYounger: Forks have points on both ends genius
BellULater: Clarke is the whitest girl ever
BellULater: She thought her chapstick was too spicy once
ChillingGriffin: I was sick that day honestly let! me! live!
BellULater: I don't think I will :)
OctaviaTheYounger: Offer up your hopes and prayers that I'll have enough money to buy chinese food for dinner
ThatsSoRaven: I'm an atheist sorry
OctaviaTheYounger: Raven, my darling, my wife, my roommate, you think I'm so heartless I wouldn't buy you dinner? I'm hurt.
OctaviaTheYounger: Bitch you better start praying because I'm fairly confident that I barely have enough money for a singular prawn cracker and I don't have to share with an ungrateful cheeky person I just happen to live with.
ThatsSoRaven: @God @Allah @Satan @Buddha @Beyonce please guide this young beautiful girl to a warm sanctuary, filled with warmth, light, and chinese takeaway boxes.
ThatsSoRaven: Hey... what do you think the Olsen twins are doing right now?
SexyLexy: it's getting dark outside so they're probably coming out of their coffins to enjoy the moonlight.
OctaviaTheYounger: I fucking j'adore the Olsen Twins. I love how you can always tell the difference between them because one did more coke than the other and it shows
BellULater: They're so weird and everyone just accepts it. Like if I walking down an alleyway and heard a noise, and upon investigating it discovered Mary Kate crouched down drinking from a cats neck while Ashley stared at me, while they both wore those long ass dresses and cardigans they always wear, I wouldn't even be surprised, I'd just be like, 'hey Ashley,' 'Hey Mary Kate.'
ThatsSoRaven: 'If I was walking down an alley and heard a noise, and upon investigating it,' Bellamy that's such a white people thing to do, and you're better than that.
SexyLexy: Right Bell?? I like how they went from being famous teenage girls to being grandmothers overnight and everyone just ??? Accepted it???
ThatsSoRaven: Lexa you're ¼ grandmother of course you would like that they went from being teenagers to grandmothers over night, you're probably jealous you don't know their secret
SexyLexy: How dare you. I'm 1/4 of the Cheetah Girls
OctaviaTheYounger: Can the four of us start a Cheetah Girls cover band
ThatsSoRaven: Can we call it the Cheeto Girls
ChillingGriffin: We are the Cheeto Girls, we are the Cheeto girls, I think it works.
OctaviaTheYounger: I can smell the grammy
ChillingGriffin: I love Lana Del Rey so much
ChillingGriffin: will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful
ThatsSoRaven: I love Lana she makes me wanna roll around in front of a fireplace, naked wearing a fur coat while smoking one of those long cigarettes and playing with the diamonds my elderly sugar daddy bought me
BellULater: would you not get super hot in front of a fire wearing a fur coat
ThatsSoRaven: I'm already super hot, so I don't understand the question and I won't respond to it
ThatsSoRaven: Dear Lord when I get to heaven please let me take my man
ThatsSoRaven: like bitch tf that line is so extra and so fucking crazy and obsessed bitch THAT’S ME
ChillingGriffin: Not too be dramatic but the National Anthem music video was a cinematic masterpiece and deserves 10 oscars and 25 golden globes.
ChillingGriffin: I wanna meet whoever made the decision to have ASAP Rocky star in that video. I wanna shake his/her hand, give him/her the keys to my car and say go home and fuck my wife good person
ChillingGriffin: If I appeared in a Lana Del Rey music video that would be my life complete I could get shot the very next day and I wouldn't care I'd die happy
BellULater: ASAP Rocky is the daddy of all daddies
ChillingGriffin: I wanna have a threesome with Rocky and Lana I love being bi
BellULater: I want daddy Rocky to **** me and ***** **** ****** in ***** while I'm in a jacuzzi in Spain
OctaviaTheYounger: ASAP Rocky is the ever shortening thread that connects me to any possibility of heterosexuality.
SexyLexy: O, this morning you were tweeting names for you and Lincolns future children.
SexyLexy: btw if you call your child Xena I'm stealing it in the night and putting it up for adoption.
OctaviaTheYounger: for some reason Lexa I don't think you would kidnap my child
OctaviaTheYounger: Speaking of, where is my husband?
ChillingGriffin: I'm right here babe
PresidentBaeLincoln: why did I just wake up right this instant
OctaviaTheYounger: Because you felt your soulmate calling out to you through the digital world
PresidentBaeLincoln: Actually mother nature was calling out to me via my bladder and you can't ignore that call
SexyLexy: Mother Nature's a bitch
ChillingGriffin: Mother Nature is no bitch! She is kind and sweet and my friend. I Trust Her
PresidentBaeLincoln: Mother Nature grows the flowers and makes it rain
BellULater: Do you mean makes it rain as in; she controls the weather, or makes it rain as in; going to the club
SexyLexy: Well considering as you're all best friends with her, could you ask Mother Nature to stop the torrential downpour outside so I can go get a smoothie?
OctaviaTheYounger: Oh my God no I love the sound of rain hitting the windows
PresidentBaeLincoln: I love the sound of my dick hitting your face
SexyLexy: Oh dear!
ChillingGriffin: I'm kinkshaming
OctaviaTheYounger: You always hear about Mother Nature but what about DADDY NATURE? HMM? Explain that feminazis
BellULater: Oh Daddy Nature definitely makes it rain at the club
PresidentBaeLincoln: Daddy Nature goes up to the birds and the bee's and gives them money while saying, 'here you go baby go buy yourself something nice before hibernation.'
ChillingGriffin: I'M KINKSHAMING
BellULater: (sugar) daddy nature if you will
SexyLexy: Daddy Nature seems like kind of a fuck boy to be honest
OctaviaTheYounger: Don't you dare insult Daddy Nature! Not in my house young lady!
PresidentBaeLincoln: Why am I so tired
SexyLexy: Were you taking a nap?
PresidentBaeLincoln: Nope I just woke up
SexyLexy: it's 8 pm....
PresidentBaeLincoln: Believe me no one hates me more than I hate me right now
OctaviaTheYounger: That is incorrect
OctaviaTheYounger: So you didn't text me back ALL DAY because you were sleeping? Disrespectful
PresidentBaeLincoln: I'm sorry my queen, how can I make it up to you?
OctaviaTheYounger: Purchase me a tangerine
SexyLexy: I want a smoothie :(
SexyLexy: smoothie boothie bo boothie banana naana no boothie fi fi mo movie, smoothie
SexyLexy: this is were you offer to go get me a smoothie
ChillingGriffin: fuck off??
SexyLexy: Please sugar mama
ChillingGriffin: Go suck a double jointed didlo Lexa there's no way I'm going out in that rain for a cup of blended fruit that isn't even for me
SexyLexy: um??? Smoothies are so much more than 'blended fruit' how fucking dare you
SexyLexy: pleeeease it's not even raining that much
ChillingGriffin: Then go get a smoothie yourself??
SexyLexy: … no
ChillingGriffin: The only reason I'm getting wet for you is if we're getting naked, no more no less
ThatsSoRaven: YOUR LITTLE SISTER HAS CROSSED A LINE
BellULater: What did she do now?
ThatsSoRaven: She hugged me while I was in the shower
ChillingGriffin: That doesn't sound so bad
SexyLexy: Yeah I thought you were gonna say she bought a bunch of 19 century umbrellas again
PresidentBaeLincoln: That was such a dark day..
ThatsSoRaven: She ripped the curtain back so suddenly I almost pissed myself
ThatsSoRaven: I felt like I was in a bad lesbian porn version of Pyscho
PresidentBaeLincoln: I would watch that porn
OctaviaTheYounger: It's Britney bitch
ThatsSoRaven: You are a bitch
OctaviaTheYounger: Hey lover
ThatsSoRaven: I'm gonna pluck out all of your eyelashes individually with my tweezer that you stole from me
OctaviaTheYounger: Oh haha did Raven tell you guys I walked in on her masturbating in the shower?
ChillingGriffin: aw without me? :(
BellULater: Um no O, she didn't
ThatsSoRaven: I was just getting to that part :)
ThatsSoRaven: fuck off Octavia you little weasel
OctaviaTheYounger: I've seen you naked and walked in on you jerkin it hundred of times, what's the big deal
ChillingGriffin: aw without me? :(
OctaviaTheYounger: Griffin take the advice of your user name and CHILL
ThatsSoRaven: The big DEAL is that you RIPPED back the curtain MADE me SCREAM my LUNGS OUT. THEN you LOOKED at me NAKED, DRIPPING WET, WITH MY FINGER UP MY VAGINA, 'JERKIN IT' GAVE ME A LECHEROUS GRIN THEN HUGGED ME WHILE MY HAND WAS STILL DOWN THERE
OctaviaTheYounger: Oh are you annoyed because I turned you on?
SexyLexy: Wait so was Octavia clothed or naked when she did this?
OctaviaTheYounger: I was dressed Lexa jesus if I gave her a naked shower hug while she was getting herself off and screaming it probably would've been seen as assault
ThatsSoRaven: I was kidding about it being bad porn Lexa you weirdo lesbian
SexyLexy: I know!! I was just trying to get a clearer picture haha!
SexyLexy: (͡ ͡° ͜ つ ͡͡°)
OctaviaTheYounger: ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)
BellULater: ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з= ( ▀ ͜͞ʖ▀) =ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿
ChillingGriffin: wait so O was clothed when she shower hugged you?
ThatsSoRaven: Jesus yes what kind of kinky shit are you and your girlfriend in to?
ChillingGriffin: I'm just asking because if she's already wet that means she can go get Lexa her smoothie
SexyLexy: Ooh yes yes!
OctaviaTheYounger: Lexa babe
SexyLexy: Octavia darling
OctaviaTheYounger: I ain't going out in that weather to get you a fucking smoothie
SexyLexy: but you're already wet!
ThatsSoRaven: yeah you know she was wet after I was through with her I know how to treat my women
PresidentBaeLincoln: I'm glad someone was man enough to do what I couldn't, Raven, I always knew it would be you
ThatsSoRaven: thanks Lincoln
ThatsSoRaven: She was ur bitch until she seen me in the shower
OctaviaTheYounger: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
ThatsSoRaven: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
PresidentBaeLincoln: ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )
SexyLexy: I want a smoothie
OctaviaTheYounger: I obviously changed out of my wet clothes
ChillingGriffin: aw without me :(
OctaviaTheYounger: You just crossed the fucking line bitch
ThatsSoRaven: Wait O so you're dry now?
ThatsSoRaven: You're wearing dry clothes??
OctaviaTheYounger: Yes Lexa the second I'm wearing dry clothes do you want me to send a picture?
ThatsSoRaven: That won't be necessary
ThatsSoRaven: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
ChillingGriffin: send in nudes instead xxx
SexyLexy: I will send nudes in exchange for smoothie
OctaviaTheYounger: Enough with the smoothie talk or I'm gonna stick your ass in a blender and make you one myself
ChillingGriffin: I'd drink that smoothie
SexyLexy: That's okay when one Blake fails we always have the other one to fall back on
SexyLexy: Bellamy the Elder?
SexyLexy: Will you go purchase me a smoothie and deliver it to me?
ThatsSoRaven: Didn't think so
ChillingGriffin: How ya doing young lady
BellULater: why do you want a smoothie so badly
SexyLexy: idk I just have a craving for them
SexyLexy: please Bellamy I'm pregnant
SexyLexy: It's yours
BellULater: omg with your bone structure and my smile this kid could be unstoppable
SexyLexy: yes and baby moma needs her smoothie
SexyLexy: What will we call it?
BellULater: Julius, if it's a boy or a girl
SexyLexy: … I've changed my mind it's not yours in fact I've aborted it already
ThatsSoRaven: Bell ur such a nerd
SexyLexy: You want our fictional child to be named after a guy who got killed and betrayed by all his friends? Do you want our child to have no friends?
OctaviaTheYounger: Hey Jon Snow got Julius Caesar'd and everyone likes him
BellULater: Caesar and Jon Snow are nothing alike but I appreciate the support
ChillingGriffin: omg if my best friend and girlfriend had a baby together we would be just like Greys Anatomy!
ChillingGriffin: Callie and Arizona who? Clarke and Lexa are coming thru
OctaviaTheYounger: Legends only
SexyLexy: There's that small issue of my total uninterest in men and dick in general
ChillingGriffin: Oh yeah that
OctaviaTheYounger: Clarke could carry the baby instead!
ChillingGriffin: oh shit waddup!
BellULater: Didn't we have this conversation before about me being the father of Clarke and Lexa's children?
ThatsSoRaven: Yes so if you and I got married and had kids, and Octavia had kids, they would all be related
ChillingGriffin: I love my squad
BellULater: I don't have a squad...
BellULater: I have a family
OctaviaTheYounger: Ha gaaaaaaaaaay
ThatsSoRaven: I would but I don't want to
PresidentBaeLincoln: I was taking out the trash and I ran into my neighbours kid and he was like, 'wow you're in your pajamas already?' And his dad came out and was like 'guess you're in for an early night huh?' And I just smiled and nodded instead telling them I was the human equivalent of a trash can that had been sleeping all day.
PresidentBaeLincoln: I haven't really been in my pajamas all day seeing as I've only been up for thirty minutes. That doesn't count, right?
ChillingGriffin: Lincoln, I haven't had a job in months, I spend my day lying on the coach, smoking weed and stuffing my hateful little face full of food while wearing 3 week old leggings and a sports bra to try to make myself feel active, which doesn't even work because I just wrap myself up in a blanket and watch netflix all day. Until all of you get out of work/class and I can finally start my day. So believe me, one day of you sleeping, does not count.
ThatsSoRaven: Don't put yourself down Clarke you don't just watch netflix all day, don't forget about your flourishing rap career you've started for yourself on youtube!
OctaviaTheYounger: Clarke getting drunk and snarling verses about the illumanati and lord of the rings into her laptop microphone is not a flourishing rap career
PresidentBaeLincoln: aw Clarke you'll find a job soon! Just don't give up hope.
ChillingGriffin: Hope?? I don't know her
PresidentBaeLincoln: Clarke, I really believe you're a winner, you can achieve anything you set your mind too. You're a hard worker and anyone who wants to hire you will realise that, you just have to wait for the opportunity to come up
ChillingGriffin: I don't know if I'm crying because I'm so high, or if it's because you're so sweet but I love you Lincoln
ChillingGriffin: You must be such a good personal trainer, it's truly your calling
PresidentBaeLincoln: You should come down to the gym some day and see for yourself
ChillingGriffin: First of all I'm still banned from the gym after The Thing
PresidentBaeLincoln: O is banned from the gym too and she comes down all the time
OctaviaTheYounger: That's cause I'm punk rock
ChillingGriffin: That's cause O pretends to be punk rock
OctaviaTheYounger: Um.... false..... I am VERY punk rock I have a certificate that proves it
ChillingGriffin: I've given up on being a functioning adult for a while
BellULater: ew we're not adults
PresidentBaeLincoln: Bellamy you're a high school teacher, if someone has to be an adult, it's you
ChillingGriffin: I haven't shaved in so long I can braid my leg hair
SexyLexy: It's true, it's like making love to Chewbacca
OctaviaTheYounger: That's literally my dream come true
OctaviaTheYounger: Lincoln can you get a Chewbacca costume and wear it during foreplay
PresidentBaeLincoln: I will strongly consider it, Chewbacca is daddy
SexyLexy: Unpopular Opinion
ChillingGriffin: Go for it
SexyLexy: I don't understand daddy culture, why would you call someone daddy while having sex with them
ThatsSoRaven: Its cause ur gay
ThatsSoRaven: You should call Clarke mommy
ChillingGriffin: I'd really rather you didn't
ChillingGriffin: I have enough mommy issues of my own without adding my girlfriend into it
SexyLexy: I just don't understand the appeal of it
OctaviaTheYounger: Well I call Lincoln daddy
ChillingGriffin: we know we were all there that time you were in line in Mcdonalds
ThatsSoRaven: I call Lincoln daddy too
ThatsSoRaven: in a way isn't he the father that none of us had?
BellULater: I'm with you Lexa I'm not overly a fan of daddy culture either
SexyLexy: You see! Bellamy always having my back
BellULater: I do like being called something else in bed tho
ChillingGriffin: Master? Captain? Pilot?
SexyLexy: Maybe you don't have my back after all
ChillingGriffin: you like to be called Daphne in bed
ThatsSoRaven: It's true I've said the name myself
ThatsSoRaven: It's hot
ChillingGriffin: I'll take your word for it
ThatsSoRaven: don't knock it till you try it!
OctaviaTheYounger: I could totally see you as a Daphne bro
PresidentBaeLincoln: Why the name Daphne?
BellULater: The heart wants what the heart wants
PresidentBaeLincoln: I like Barbara
OctaviaTheYounger: You wanna be called Barbara in bed?
PresidentBaeLincoln: sure why not?
OctaviaTheYounger: Okay then
SexyLexy: Jinkies is Clarke and I's safe word
PresidentBaeLincoln: oh... word?
BellULater: why was I forced to read this with my own two eyes
ThatsSoRaven: WHITE PEOPLE
SexyLexy: Okay when Bellamy shares his thing he gets love and support and 'oh I'll try it! It's Barbara bitch!' But when I share mine it's weird? This is a scandal! A homophobic and misogynistic scandal!
ChillingGriffin: calm down Hilary Clinton
OctaviaTheYounger: Hilarity Cliton
SexyLexy: Claaaaarke you're supposed to have my side
ChillingGriffin: Its not a big deal we don't need sides babe
BellULater: Do ya thing girls no judgement here
ThatsSoRaven: lmao at 'love and support' what were we supposed to say? Oh I'll go use Zoinks as my safeword?
ChillingGriffin: Zoinks is also our safeword
ThatsSoRaven: exsqueeze me?
Chilling Griffin: Zoinks=slow down. Jinkies= stop
OctaviaTheYounger: I would just like to know when our sex lives suddenly began to revolve around Scooby Doo
OctaviaTheYounger: Calling ourselves Daphne in bed, using character catchphrases as safewords, when did this happen
PresidentBaeLincoln: Atleast we're safe from the Scooby Doo sexcapades babe
SexyLexy: Um I just googled....
SexyLexy: Joseph Roland "Joe" BARBERA was an American animator, director, producer, storyboard artist, ... business, producing programs such as The Flintstones, Yogi Bear, and SCOOBY DOO
ChillingGriffin: I'M SCREAMING
ThatsSoRaven: lmaaaaaaoooooo what are the chances
PresidentBaeLincoln: THIS IS NOT A CONCIDENCE
PresidentBaeLincoln: NOWHERE IS SAFE
PresidentBaeLincoln: SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES HAVE BEEN ENGRAINED IN US SINCE CHILDHOOD SO WE CAN NEVER FORGET SCOOBY DOO
OctaviaTheYounger: Oh my God Lincoln calm down this isn't a conspiracy theory about Scooby Doo
BellULater: Every day we stray further from Gods light
ThatsSoRaven: Hold up
ThatsSoRaven: why do you two need TWO safewords?
ChillingGriffin: what you thought we were vanilla??
ThatsSoRaven: HAHA I KNEW you two were into some kinky shit!! What is it? Ya'll furries?
SexyLexy: Raven do I even need to point out how disturbing it is that your mind immediately went to furries?
ThatsSoRaven: You can point it out but I'll just ignore it
OctaviaTheYounger: Yeah come on tell us!!!
BellULater: Tell us!!!
PresidentBaeLincoln: Tell us!!!
ChillingGriffin: No judgement okay??
ThatsSoRaven: This is a no judgement zone
PresidentBaeLincoln: get ur freak on
BellULater: This is the hot mess group chat, no judging here
SexyLexy: sometimes we....
BellULater: ooh suspense
OctaviaTheYounger: I'm bout to pee myself in excitement
ChillingGriffin: we roleplay
OctaviaTheYounger: Lots of people roleplay! me and Lincoln roleplay!
OctaviaTheYounger: Lately we’ve been doing Game of Thrones, isn't that right Mr Lannister?
PresidentBaeLincoln: You are correct Miss Lannister
ThatsSoRaven: Why am I not surprised you two would pretend to be the incest twins when ya'll have sex
ThatsSoRaven: Me and Bellamy roleplay
ChillingGriffin: Naughty student and teacher?
BellULater: I teach high school students Clarke if I started exploring fantasies about having sex with Raven as a school girl I think it would be the beginning of a dark and disturbing path that I have no desire to go on
ChillingGriffin: Fair enough
OctaviaTheYounger: Who do you and Lexa roleplay? I'm genuinely curious I can't imagine stoic Lexa busting out the acting chops
SexyLexy: Well I won't be up for any awards if our sex tape leaks, but we do all right
ChillingGriffin: Okay THIS is where the no judgement clause comes into play
SexyLexy: we roleplay as you guys
OctaviaTheYounger: wait what?
ChillingGriffin: we pretend to be you guys, or people we know, while we have sex
ThatsSoRaven: ahhhh, well we're in the no judgement zone so idk what to say about that other than you do you
ChillingGriffin: it's very therapeutic
PresidentBaeLincoln: I bet
ChillingGriffin: Raven remember that time we had the fight over the vanilla yoghurt and I told you to 'go fuck yourself' well, technically I fucked Lexa-as-you
ChillingGriffin: got all the aggression out
ThatsSoRaven: Wait so you angry fucked your girlfriend pretending she was me? That is WILD LMAO
ThatsSoRaven: Honestly when you guys said that I was judging but now I'm like nah ya'll do what ya'll want atleast it's interesting, the opposite of vanilla, chocolatey even
OctaviaTheYounger: it is very important that I find out who plays me
SexyLexy: Both of us
PresidentBaeLincoln: send me the footage and I'll confirm if you're doing her right
ChillingGriffin: oh we do her right all right
OctaviaTheYounger: I am very okay with this, I think that may just be my vanity talking tho
BellULater: Do you do couples
ChillingGriffin: Nope we do everyone and mix and match, Lincoln and Octavia, Raven and Bellamy, Octavia and Raven, Lincoln and Bellamy, Bellamy and Octavia, Lincoln and Raven
OctaviaTheYounger: what was that second to the last one there?
SexyLexy: nothing :)
ChillingGriffin: made a typo :)
SexyLexy: we’re gonna have to work the Daphne thing into our Bellamy skit now
ThatsSoRaven: like I said don't knock it till you try it
ThatsSoRaven: That's right baby say my name
OctaviaTheYounger: SHE JUST CAME UP BEHIND ME ON THE COACH AND NAKED HUGGED ME WHILE SOAKING WET
ChillingGriffin: how are you still wet? Do you guys not possess towels?
ThatsSoRaven: I've just got out of the shower
BellULater: You were in the shower this entire time??
ThatsSoRaven: Yep had to shave
ThatsSoRaven: despite what the razor advertisements suggest, shaving is a long, horrible time-consuming activity
ChillingGriffin: which is exactly why I quit, I'm too lazy
SexyLexy: But you were texting us the whole time??
ThatsSoRaven: yep, one handed shaving, that's why it took so long
OctaviaTheYounger: I am soaked and I just put on my comfy jammies
ThatsSoRaven: hope you're failing sick bitch cause you just got a taste of your own medicine
OctaviaTheYounger: okay Raven is wet, naked and has one functioning leg, I can take her and possibly kill her
BellULater: Octavia what have we said about beating up the disabled
OctaviaTheYounger: It doesn’t count when Raven is involved?
BellULater: Oh shit that's right
OctaviaTheYounger: I'm a gorgeous girl with big cans that has sex with all the fishermen
OctaviaTheYounger: @ Lincoln ur dumped, I'm going to live my life fucking my brother Bellamy, he is the Jaime to my Cersei
OctaviaTheYounger: Clarke, I slept with Lexa, she prefers brunettes
ChillingGriffin: Raven you can stop we knew it was you from the first text, 'I'm a gorgeous girl with big cans' gorgeous? Yes. Big cans? Octavia? No
OctaviaTheYounger: I'm currently sitting on top of Octavia
OctaviaTheYounger: She thought she could take me, ha! She's gonna be pissing blood for a week after I'm through with her, of course that'll mostly because her period is due but whatever
OctaviaTheYounger: Bellamy, permission to shave your little sisters hair off with my razor?
BellULater: Permission granted
ChillingGriffin: Her jawline will help her pull off the skin head look
ChillingGriffin: Oh shit the bottle of coke I just got from the store and it is all over my kitchen floor
ChillingGriffin: and I don't even have a map because Lexa snapped it last week when she was trying to do warrior moves with it
PresidentBaeLincoln: Just use your art degree to clean it up, then it'll have some use
ChillingGriffin: RUDE. ASS. BITCH.
PresidentBaeLincoln: Hey you said I was a good trainor, well I am, this is called tough love baby
ChillingGriffin: Just because your arms are the size of tree trunks doesn't mean I will not take you to the carpet!!
PresidentBaeLincoln: I'm not Octavia Clarke, I can put up a fight honey
ChillingGriffin: Well sadly I'm not Raven either, I can't shave your head as IT'S ALREADY BALD
PresidentBaeLincoln: FOR THE LAST TIME I AM NOT GOING BALD I SHAVE MY HEAD BECAUSE I WANT TOO
BellULater: ah everyones fighting but us, feels good, right Lex?
SexyLexy: Siri, tell Daphne to go fuck himself
BellULater: Go fuck yourself on one of Clarkes paintbrushes Lexa you fucking sea witch
SexyLexy: Um, been there, done that, painted the tshirt that I wore afterwards
BellULater: …. Jinkies
You are now leaving the group: Ross and Rachel were on a break but that doesn't justify him sleeping with someone else 3 hours later. He did essentially cheat on her . Especially since they got back together the very next morning. I don't blame Rachel for breaking up with him. I mean the trust is GONE! What would happen if they got into another fight? Would he cheat again? - thoughts going through Rachels head. Also the incident was made even worse because the only reason they had The Break was beca use Ross thought she would cheat on him with Mark! It was so hypocritical and highlights how much of a child Ross is. Their situation brings to mind a quote by Lao Tzu - "He who does not trust enough will not be trusted." In summary Ross is an asshole and Rachel should have ran to Paris and never looked back.
Thoughts? Opinions? Too much kink? Not enough conversation? I'm really not confident in this chapter and I myself don't find it very funny. Inspiration for Lexa and Clarkes roleplay was taking by my two friends, who role play as me and the rest of my squad occasionally. They're both gay and both strongly resemble Clexa so that character development goes out to them! Also my friends and I usually use a lot of emojis and reaction pictures when we're texting which makes the conversation 10 times funnier, can't do that here so I borrowed the tumblr emojis. Comment please! I need your opinions! xx
Chapter 5: Two bro's chilling in a hot tub, five feet apart cuz they're not gay
Let's text about weed and baby animals
asdfghjkl I started this story an entire year ago that's so hard to believe. ANYWAYS long time no see, it's been sooo long since i updated this I'm sorry!! I was reading back over the previous chapters and some of them are kinda yikes so official disclaimer that this story discusses; sex, drugs and alcohol I'm sorry if that's not ya thing and if you're uncomfortable reading about it feel free to move on, no judgement here.
When I originally started this story I had an entire plot designed and charachters such as Wells and Anya would be introduced but then I didn't update for 8 months so that story has turned to mush in my head.
I'm VERY rusty so sorry if this chapter is trash, but I hope you enjoy! xx
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
You have entered the group: Two bro's chilling in a hot tub, five feet apart cuz they're not gay
OctaviaTheYounger: I want to talk about two things, and two things only
OctaviaTheYounger: It happened earlier this evening
OctaviaTheYounger: Haha this sounds like the start of a book
OctaviaTheYounger: Okay, Chapter one:
OctaviaTheYounger: Harper and I spent the whole evening looking for people we knew so we could steal 3 dollars off them to buy Chinese food because we are extrememly poor students and this is the life we lead
OctaviaTheYounger: I mean we looked EVERYWHERE we searched the entire city looking for handouts
OctaviaTheYounger: We walked into the grounder cafe and Monty and the entire gang was in there
OctaviaTheYounger: Monty was in the middle of telling a story and I interrupted him and asked him if I could look through his bag to see if he had a dollar or something he'd lost in there
OctaviaTheYounger: He was like... weird request but okay
OctaviaTheYounger: I rifled through his bag for TEN MINUTES until I found 75 cents in change, victory
OctaviaTheYounger: After a while Harper texted her mom to come meet us and give us three dollars in change, because we are extremely poor students and this is the life we lead
OctaviaTheYounger: So we waited outside the chinese and I was standing in the street looking up at the sky and I said to Harper 'you know, I think your mom was lying about saying she was coming down to give us money, what a little snake.'
OctaviaTheYounger: you know, clearly just messing around
OctaviaTheYounger: I turned around and THERE WAS HARPERS MOM HANDING HER MONEY
SexyLexy: haha oh my god
SexyLexy: did she say anything?
OctaviaTheYounger: She stared directly at me like she definitely heard me talking shit
OctaviaTheYounger: I mean this woman really left her house at 9pm on a Thursday night, to drive down to give her daughter and her good for nothing friend money for food, and I, in turn slandered her
OctaviaTheYounger: I felt a bit of my soul die
OctaviaTheYounger: So I just said to her 'Oh there you are! Haha!'
OctaviaTheYounger: Awkward as fuck I scurried on into the Chinese and left Harper and her mom in the street, Harper was probably holding her mom back from decking me
OctaviaTheYounger: I ordered my usual, a gravy chip with crackers, which I always get, as you know all know I practically live in the Chinese
PresidentBaeLincoln: I know you're so unhealthy it genuinely stresses me out
PresidentBaeLincoln: ur bones are probably made from noodles
OctaviaTheYounger: I watched the guy make my food and SEEN with my OWN TWO EYES him pour CURRY into my chip INSTEAD OF GRAVY
OctaviaTheYounger: when he handed me my food I was like... 'are you sure there's gravy in here?' and he smiled and said 'yep!' so happy, so confident, the monster
OctaviaTheYounger: I knew he didn't put gravy on my chip, he knew he didn't put gravy on my chip, but I grabbed my food and two forks and went outside
OctaviaTheYounger: i mean he works hard and I'm always in there, they usually give me a perfect order, everyone makes mistakes
OctaviaTheYounger: Not 5 seconds later I was outside eating A CURRY CHIP!!
ThatsSoRaven: wow a scandal
ChillingGriffin: There are people dying, Kim
SexyLexy: If this book doesn't end with you murdering the chinese chef after discovering not only did he sabotage your food, but that was also the man responsible for murdering your wife and children 10 years ago, then colour me disappointed
PresidentBaeLincoln: Maybe the curry is his calling card, he leaves it for his victims whenever he strikes
OctaviaTheYounger: I'm so irked why why why I always get food from that chinese why did they betray me like that
BellULater: maybe they wanted to get rid of you because they were sick of seeing you constantly
OctaviaTheYounger: that is very possible
SexyLexy: Maybe they were worried about your gravy intake
OctaviaTheYounger: that is also possible
OctaviaTheYounger: So end of chapter 1, beginning of chapter 2
OctaviaTheYounger: I joined Harper in the street and leaned against her mothers car which was directly infront of us
OctaviaTheYounger: 'Harper will I get in the front seat or back seat.' '... Octavia that's not my car.'
OctaviaTheYounger: I got into Harpers moms CORRECT car which infact was down the street and tried to make conversation with Harpers mom after talking shit about her
OctaviaTheYounger: she just kept hitting me with, 'uh huh, yeah' so I felt a little defeated
OctaviaTheYounger: not that I blame her
OctaviaTheYounger: So wrong food, awkward car ride, to top it off when she left me home she drove up the wrong street thinking that's where my building was
OctaviaTheYounger: I didn't say anything, she was like 'you live up here right?' and I was like 'yep the building on the left!'
OctaviaTheYounger: So she stopped outside the building, I knew it wasn't where I lived, Harper knew it wasn't where I lived and finally, Harpers mom said, 'I don't think you live here, do you?'
OctaviaTheYounger: I just went, 'oh it's fine I'm in the next street I can just hop over the fence. Thanks so much for the food and the ride!
OctaviaTheYounger: The fence ended up being three times bigger than I was so I had to crouch hidden behind a car, that was probably owned by someone who actually lived in the apartment building, until Harper and her mom drove away
ChillingGriffin: you're so brave, thanks for sharing your story
SexyLexy: lmao what a disaster
BellULater: Where are you now?
OctaviaTheYounger: Walking down the street, heading for home
PresidentBaeLincoln: good stay safe
OctaviaTheYounger: Actually I'm sitting in someones little garden eating my chinese at the bottom of my street
BellULater: smh youre a mess
OctaviaTheYounger: god I'm so hungry
OctaviaTheYounger: ugh Jesus curry chip every bite I take I get more upset
OctaviaTheYounger: I just realised what's wrong with me
PresidentBaeLincoln: what's that
OctaviaTheYounger: I am in fact, extremely high
PresidentBaeLincoln: i could've guessed
OctaviaTheYounger: Raven is that really Danny Devito in your snapchat story?
ThatsSoRaven: Danny Dorito? yeah thats the man himself, he stopped by Millers and Bellamys apartment earlier we're all pals
SexyLexy: danny dorito
OctaviaTheYounger: no way!!! thats so wild whats he like?
ThatsSoRaven: Octavia that is a cut out figure of Danny Devito propped against a wall HOW did you think that was real
OctaviaTheYounger: it's very life like I admire the craftsmanship
ThatsSoRaven: you're not allowed to get this high without inviting me ever again I'm missing out
Chilling Griffin: this isn't even about being high Octavia is sooo gullible she probably would've believed that that was really Danny Dorito in your story if she wasn't high
SexyLexy: danny dorito
OctaviaTheYounger: Pot kettle black
Chilling Griffin: Scuse me?
OctaviaTheYounger: What about that guy we met who told us he painted the faces on legos? We believed him, we went along with it, we googled it later and found out that the making of lego faces is in fact done by a machine.'
Chilling Griffin: Yeah he really got us didn't he
BellULater: it's 4/20 somewhere
OctaviaTheYounger: probably Austrailia
SexyLexy: I'm pretty sure Austrailia is 24 hours ahead of us
OctaviaTheYounger: you're so wise
SexyLexy: it's amazing what you learn when you actually GO TO CLASS
OctaviaTheYounger: going to class?? ... never heard of that.... don't know about that... don't respect that
ThatsSoRaven: the chances of me and O going to class??
ThatsSoRaven: this bitch empty YEET
OctaviaTheYounger: hey, am I the only one who finds it strange how much knowledge Bellamy, Clarke and Lexa have on Austrailia?
OctaviaTheYounger: it's like ya'll lived there or something
OctaviaTheYounger: maybe in another life
PresidentBaeLincoln: oh my god you're so high please get home safe
OctaviaTheYounger: I'm walking up the stairs of my building as we text
PresidentBaeLincoln: call me as soon as you get into your apartment
OctaviaTheYounger: aye aye captain
OctaviaTheYounger: weed is the combo of we and need. so we need weed
PresidentBaeLincoln: oh my god
ThatsSoRaven: You know the guy in our building who owns the pregnant goat
ChillingGriffin: How could we forget
ThatsSoRaven: You will all be pleased to know she had her baby!
ChillingGriffin: ahhhh!! omg exciting
OctaviaTheYounger: aw the baby is an Aries!!
OctaviaTheYounger: oh my god RAM
SexyLexy: It's more likely than you think
ThatsSoRaven: He was gonna call it Raven if it was a boy but sadly it's a Male
OctaviaTheYounger: This is amazing I can't believe we're getting a baby goat the next building party is gonna be LIT I tell you that
PresidentBaeLincoln: uhh you're acting as if your last building party wasn't literally lit, you're Landlord juggled swords that were set on fire as part of the early entertainment for the evening
OctaviaTheYounger: i love that man
ThatsSoRaven: he has a passion for sword juggling! i respect it
OctaviaTheYounger: Can the baby goat trot about yet
ThatsSoRaven: I think so it was born like an hour ago
OctaviaTheYounger: He's learning
BellULater: the fire alarm went off, the entire school stood outside for over 20 minutes while it was being investigated and it turned out that the drama department was fucking around with a smoke machine and set off all of the alarms in the school
BellULater: thank God it's a half day so I can get the fuck out of this hell hole
ThatsSoRaven: wow good thing you chose teaching as a profession and have to work in schools for the rest of your life
BellULater: I'm cold and today hasn't been a good day :(
ChillingGriffin: Bell do you want to meet me and go on an adventure??
BellULater: YES my mother thank you
PresidentBaeLincoln: Speaking of baby animals
PresidentBaeLincoln: Guess where I am
SexyLexy: A meat market
PresidentBaeLincoln: wtf no
PresidentBaeLincoln: A CAT SANCTUARY
PresidentBaeLincoln: Look at this one!!
PresidentBaeLincoln sent in two photos
ThatsSoRaven: omg look at the little kitty!!
BellULater: what it name
PresidentBaeLincoln: "Pedro is a friendly boy who loves attention"
OctaviaTheYounger: omg I'm jealous
PresidentBaeLincoln: There's another girl called Mittens but she doesn't like other cats or dogs smh
SexyLexy: I'm mittens
PresidentBaeLincoln: there's a fat boy called Elliot I love him
PresidentBaeLincoln: I wanna adopt them all :(
ChillingGriffin: are you gonna get one?
PresidentBaeLincoln: nah it wouldn't be fair to get a cat I'm barely in my apartment
OctaviaTheYounger: you can co parent Mary Jane with Raven and I
PresidentBaeLincoln: There's another one called Kiwi and she's diabetic what a goof
SexyLexy: I've always wanted a lizard
SexyLexy: I'm about to say it
OctaviaTheYounger: say it
SexyLexy: I'm gay
ChillingGriffin: speaking of cats
ChillingGriffin: I'm pretty sure my neighbours cat is suicidal
ChillingGriffin: I was driving up my street and she just came out and sat in the middle of it so I couldn't get past unless I, y'know ran her over
ChillingGriffin: that when I was trying to park she came over and do that thing animals do where they move about really close to the tires so you think you're gonna hit them but you never do
SexyLexy: animals are so weird I hate them, give me a nice cold lizard any day of the week
BellULater: lexa do u wanna hear a gag
BellULater: When we were growing up, the mailman on our block used to carry around these cookies that he would throw to any dogs he came across, to distract them when he had to deliver the mail to the house that they where at
BellULater: me and Octavia thought this was the bee's knees and came up with a plan to scam our way into procuring some free cookies
ThatsSoRaven: this story is so embarrassing asdfghjkl
BellULater: so me and O would haul all of our doggie teddy bears out into the garden and then we would hide behind the hedge and start barking like crazy to try to convince the mailman we were dogs
ThatsSoRaven: Lexa ask if it worked
SexyLexy: did it work?
BellULater: no there was no denying that we were humans trying to steal cookies from some poor man trying his best not to get mauled to death by someones poodle
ChillingGriffin: The REAL gag is that ya'll had those bullshit ass cookies in ya own home but decided to act like dogs for reasons unknown
BellULater: everything is better when it's stolen this is fact
BellULater: Although we did sucessfully convince Clarke and Raven that the mailman did think we were dogs and gave us cookies so they joined in too
SexyLexy: I don't what to say
SexyLexy: how old were ya'll
ChillingGriffin: asdfghjkl we weren't even that young we were like 11/12/13 that's the worst thing about it
ThatsSoRaven: Octavia and I skipped class today and went and got bagels is that not the most boujiest thing you've ever heard
PresidentBaeLincoln: Ya'll skipped class??? Well I never skip leg day
OctaviaTheYounger: I'm breaking up with you
OctaviaTheYounger: anyways it was such a good day I went home early now I'm snug as a bug in a rug on the sofa I love life
ThatsSoRaven: and I'm stuck rotting in class I hate life
OctaviaTheYounger: I love pineapple so much I just wolfed down an entire tub of it
SexyLexy: Aren't you allergic to pineapple
OctaviaTheYounger: yes, what's your point
OctaviaTheYounger: My lips are reacting to it and starting to swell
OctaviaTheYounger: they're so big omg lip fillers where??
ThatsSoRaven: kylie jenner has been found dead in her home
OctaviaTheYounger: I really might invest in lip filters I look just like a doll I'm so cute
OctaviaTheYounger: omg Raven when you get home we can re enact bratz scenes we'll look exactly like them
ThatsSoRaven: now THAT is a motherfucking concept
OctaviaTheYounger: Yasmine and Jade ❤️
ThatsSoRaven: Chloe and Yasmine??
OctaviaTheYounger: Why Chloe??
ThatsSoRaven: Jade is Asian
OctaviaTheYounger: Jades not Asian?
ThatsSoRaven: She firmly is
SexyLexy: She was in the movies
ThatsSoRaven: Yasmine's Latina, so she can hola at me
OctaviaTheYounger:... Are you sure??
ThatsSoRaven: boi if you think I dont know the Bratz dolls ethnitices then you must be out of your gottdamn mind this is important and necessary info that takes up more space in my mind than all that useless enginering nerd shit
OctaviaTheYounger:I'm not sure Jade is Asian
ThatsSoRaven: you don't want a poc to be included in a franchise? thats qwhite interesting
OctaviaTheYounger:Let me bring Google into this mess
SexyLexy: Yes Google the Bratz ethnicities as if our conversations can't get anymore silly
OctaviaTheYounger: wow Jade IS Asian
ThatsSoRaven: I love being right and besting you in every single thing it honestly nourishes me
OctaviaTheYounger: Here I was thinking Yasmine was the Bratz token poc
ChillingGriffin: ?? Sasha exists
OctaviaTheYounger: oh yeah
OctaviaTheYounger: A latina, a black girl and an Asian girl wow Bratz really did THAT with the diversity. Barbie could never
ThatsSoRaven: tammi lahren is shaking
SexyLexy: I'm watching titanic
SexyLexy: I like that Rose is called Rose and she has red lips and red hair
ChillingGriffin: Stop looking at other girls
ChillingGriffin: I just threw up after Bellamy dared me to eat 20 chicken nuggets in under five minutes but I have no regrets
BellULater: Queen of the nuggets
BellULater: I'm drinking peach schnapps in the park and the cops just drove by, #fuckdapolice
ThatsSoRaven: everyone loves a bad boy xx
OctaviaTheYounger: I HIT MY SIDE OFF THE EDGE OF A TABLE I AM DHINYNFJFJ KM BLLEEONG
SexyLexy: I thought that said side off the egg and was like why didnt you just get a bowl
OctaviaTheYounger: I PUT A DORA THE EXPLORTER BANDAID IN JMC RHKN
PresidentBaeLincoln: Aw I love Indra from the Grounder cafe she's so sweet
SexyLexy: That woman would murder us all for a cookie
SexyLexy: and I respect that
OctaviaTheYounger: Lincoln are you ignoring me im in pain
PresidentBaeLincoln: If Dora can't help you, no one can
ChillingGriffin: gang it's time for me to start taking my youtube career seriously
SexyLexy: your... your youtube career?
ChillingGriffin: I just purchased a 25 dollar vlogging camera so I'm ready to get that youtube money
PresidentBaeLincoln: wow that's awesome
ChillingGriffin: really? you think? thank you Lincoln
PresidentBaeLincoln: yes! you could really make a difference in the community, now that the world is so full of hate and anger, your videos could offer an illuminating light on a world where diversity such as gender, sexualities and race are all celebrated :)
ChillingGriffin: ughhh this is awkward because I kinda already filmed my first vlog and it's called 'my friend Bellamy gets drunk off peach schnaphs and let's me convince him to get his bellybutton pierced.'
ChillingGriffin: but I LOVE where you're going with this, this youtube shtickit could be really something
OctaviaTheYounger: wait you convinced Bellamy to do what?
BellULater: ow ow ow
You are now leaving the group: Two bro's chilling in a hot tub, five feet apart cuz they're not gay
What did you think? Thoughts? Opinions? Didn't understand it? Didn't find it funny? tell me all!