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The Groupchat

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You have entered the group: We Dem Boyz


ChillingGriffin: Why in the name of Van Gogh’s right ear did you guys let me get an ART DEGREE


SexyLexy: I mean you were weeks away from graduating when we started dating, I couldn't find an appropriate time to tell my extremely new girlfriend to change her degree, sorry guess that's on me :L


ChillingGriffin: No babe as always you are the only constant, pure thing in my life


ChillingGriffin: it's the OTHER evil constants in my life who I’m asking


ChillingGriffin: Raven and Bellamy, my supposed childhood best friends, the ‘smart ones’ the ‘teachers’ and the ‘future engineers’


ChillingGriffin: where are you guys I’m having a Crisis™ and you've left me for dead


ThatsSoRaven: griffin u are so not chillin


ThatsSoRaven: BINCH what do you mean ‘history teacher’ ‘future engineer’ we ARE those things go graffiti a wall or something get the anger out


ThatsSoRaven: be Banksy he's a passive aggressive dick


SexyLexy: omg did u guys hear about the guy in England he spray painted dicks on potholes so the government was forced to fix them


ChillingGriffin: amazing the hero we never knew we needed


SexyLexy: they called him Wanksy


ChillingGriffin: AMAZING


ThatsSoRaven: clarke is wanksy


SexyLexy: dam… i mean have u ever seen Clarke and Wanksy in the same room?? Suspicious….


ChillingGriffin: I hear wanksy is shredded… I hear wanksy has an eight pack


BellULater: oh my god


BellULater: I was subbing for the english teacher whose away on a field trip right


BellULater: n i was like to the kids okay do whatever the fuck u want just chill do homework live ur lives


ChillingGriffin: tbh tho i dont wanna hear the rest of this story bc if you had a free class then u have no excuse to not text us back


ThatsSoRaven: you missed clarke confessing that she was an english graffiti artist who rebels against the government by spray painting dicks


BellULater: anyway??


BellULater: so this kid decides to put his head on the desk and go to sleep #me


BellULater: and his friends decide to superglue his shoes to the ground bc when u leave teenage boys alone somethings getting superglued, so when the bell rings the kid is startled awake tries to stand up and then discovers he is FUCKING GLUED TO THE GROUND WITH NO HOPE OF MOVING


ChillingGriffin: LMAO MEEEE


ThatsSoRaven: amazing!!!! 10/10


SexyLexy: your school is so wild like I couldn’t imagine pulling that shit back in military school


ThatsSoRaven: two key words there lex ‘military school’


BellULater: but his little face the entire class was laughing while he was just STUCK there in a half standing position n he just turned to me really sadly and said ‘bellamy?’ in this wavering tone n ofc I caught the whole thing and didn’t know whether to laugh or hug him


BellULater: janitor had to scrape the shoes off the floor with a knife the kid was 20 mins late to class I wrote the teacher a note explaining what happened


ThatsSoRaven: what it say?? ‘lmao this fucking kid got punked and had his nikes glued to the ground by his fuck boi friends u shoulda seen it check my snapchat story I caught the whole fucking thing on video’


BellULater: ……. i mean ur not wrong


BellULater: pity I didn’t video it we coulda played it at his graduation :(


ThatsSoRaven: omg im stealing the superglue idea and doing it to that dickhead in my engineering class


ChillingGriffin: u say theyre all dickheads babe be a bit more specific


ThatsSoRaven: kyle fucking wick the racist MENISIST


BellULater: tbh im still not over the shock of us finding his twitter


BellULater: like one minute we were all teasing you about hooking up with him ((which I mean…yikes.. but u didn’t know he was trash its not ur fault)) and deciding to look him up and then the next minute we’re all staring at the screen


ThatsSoRaven: iknow…. It was such a slap in the face


ThatsSoRaven: and such a slap in the puthy too, first Finn, then Wick… why do I always hook up with evil


SexyLexy: okay but u hooked up with bellamy like u two are tru kings and queen


BellULater: awwwwww


ThatsSoRaven: but I mean I actually considered dating wick whereas bell is just friends with benefits


BellULater: is that all I am to u?? ur whore??? Someone convenient to use while you go off and find the love of your life while im stuck at home waiting for your call???


BellULater: jk ur young n beautiful you should be living life and sleeping with every hot guy n gal thatpasses you fuck dating!!!!


ChillingGriffin: the superglue story cleansed my soul tbh


SexyLexy: u know the way we say every time monty laughs an angel gets his wings?? Every time clarke feels stressed a teenage boy gets his shoes superglued to the ground


BellULater: job search not going well babe??


ChillingGriffin: no one wants to hire a person with an art degree?? Tbh who wouldve thought???


ThatsSoRaven: I know!! all our lives we were told if you study art you are guaranteed a job idk what changed… puzzling


ChillingGriffin: no offence but y u r evil


ThatsSoRaven: had to sell my soul to the devil to get looks this good xxx


ThatsSoRaven: okay im soz im in my last year of college and I am Full Of Fear


ThatsSoRaven: hey Bell remember in high school me n clarke tied your shoes together when u were sitting down at lunch and fox the girl u were crushing on couldn’t find a seat so you jumped up like a tru gentleman and YELLED ‘fox im done u can have my seat!!’ even tho u werent done eating, and when she came over to sit down you started walking to her and TRIPPED AND U BODY SLAMMED HER TO THE GROUND AND HER TRAY WENT FUCKING FLYING ACROSS THE CAFETERIA SPAGHETTI ALL UP IN THE AIR 


BellULater: did that happen?? :) tbh I can't remember :)


ChillingGriffin: WE remember I doubt Fox remembers since you knocked her out


BellULater: I didn’t come here to be disrespected???




SexyLexy: like I can just imagine baby Bellamy calling Fox over and Raven and Clarke giggling wearing devil horns and then in slow motion you crash into her and the spaghetti flies through the air while Ave Maria plays


BellULater: lexa it was awful tbh it still haunts me


BellULater: I cant look at spaghetti without having flashbacks


BellULater: im sweatin


ChillingGriffin: his palms are sweaty knees weak arms are heavy


ChillingGriffin: theres vomit on his sweater already


ChillingGriffin: moms spaghetti


ThatsSoRaven: I wonder where fox is now


BellULater: the one that got away :(


SexyLexy: I wonder where katy perry is now


ThatsSoRaven: hell where she belongs


BellULater: prob busy planning what other cultures she can appropriate so she can be Quirky


SexyLexy: omg drag me but teenage dreams is such a tune


SexyLexy: reminds me of clarke xx it was the song playing on the radio when I picked her up for our first date xx


ChillingGriffin: don’t you hate it when your nipples fly out of your bra


SexyLexy: anyways


BellULater: ano ffs that happens to me all the time I need a better bra


ThatsSoRaven: tbh lexa ur lucky if katy perry was playing when someone picked me up for the first date id prob turn the car around myself and drive home


ThatsSoRaven: after ripping the radio out of course xx


BellULater: someone stole my car radio and now I just sit in silence


SexyLexy: STTOPPP??


ChillingGriffin: … anyways


ThatsSoRaven: lmao remember when we had to convince clarke not get a twenty one pilots tattoo


ChillingGriffin: stop!!!!!!!!


ChillingGriffin: ur all fake?? We all liked them once upon a time


BellULater: vessel >>>> over blurryface


ChillingGriffin: End This


ChillingGriffin: tgif gang whats the plan for tonight??


ThatsSoRaven: the same thing we do ever Friday night pinkie… pregame in Bellamys living room, get high and listen to the smiths while talking about world events and mature conversations like what would our role be in a post apocalyptic world and them after 3 hours of getting Turnt we all stumble to the dropship bar where shenanigans ensue and someone ends up on the roof


SexyLexy: Im still annoyed u all laughed at me when I said id be a leader of a whole warrior army in a post apocalyptic world fuck a fake friends where ur real friends at


ChillingGriffin: youre too diplomatic to be a leader idk I think thered be a lot of compromises if you were in charge


BellULater: I think thered be a lot of compromises if lexa was in charge of the bedroom ;;;;)


BellULater: bc we all know lexas is the most bottoms of bottoms






SexyLexy has removed BellULater from the group: ‘We Dem Boyz’


ThatsSoRaven: what the fuck how dare you treat my husband like this?????


ThatsSoRaven has added BellULater to the group: ‘We Dem Boyz’


BellULater: I will fight ur lil gay ass Woods don’t fuckin test me u may be ripped but youre exactly 3 feet tall


ChillingGriffin: um?????? Me lexa and raven are ALL 5’5 we could take you down u big fucking tree


BellULater: is that a man in a trenchcoat or just clarke lexa and raven sitting on each others shoulders trying to sneak into an r rated movie


ThatsSoRaven: who would win in a fight bellamy armed with the superglued shoes or us in a trench coat


SexyLexy: bellamy could run at us with his head down like a bull and we would topple right over I don’t think we'd be very stable :(


ChillingGriffin: that’s such a mental image im laffin


ChillingGriffin: Bellamy The Bull


ChillingGriffin: but srs tho plans for tonight?? Bellamys then drop ship??


BellULater: ACTUALLY ya boy has a date for the evening!!! You can still go to my place and pre game with miller obvs n Ill prob swing by the dropship around midnight and join you xox


ThatsSoRaven: a date???? Before marriage??


SexyLexy: who!!


ChillingGriffin: whats their name??


BellULater: her name is gina…


SexyLexy: where does she work??


BellULater: library…


BellULater: she helped me locate a book about the roman empire


ChillingGriffin:  nerd


ThatsSoRaven: do we have any mutual friends with her??


BellULater: END THIS


BellULater: why do you guys always facebook stalk everyone I ever meet


ThatsSoRaven: bc youre weirdly popular and have more friends with us and we are all ridiculously co-dependent we have to know everything about each other lives


BellULater: ye I know??? When I started working at the highschool you knew ever single teacher who worked there before i did!! Weirdos!!


ChillingGriffin: hey you Facebook stalked lexa when we went on our first date


SexyLexy: ???!!!!


BellULater: that’s because you had serious heart eyes for her and at the time she was considered our Enemy I was just looking out for my girl


SexyLexy: aw heart eyes clarke??


ChillingGriffin: I said I love you after our third date u know I had heart eyes binch


SexyLexy: I know but I love knowing you liked me as much as I liked you


ChillingGriffin:  from the moment I laid eyes on you I was head over heels


ThatsSoRaven: this is cute… but also so fucking gay?? Stop it


ThatsSoRaven: whats gina like?? She cute??


BellULater: very cute you would like her I think


SexyLexy: do she got the booty




ThatsSoRaven: I hate you??? I hate you more than murphy and finn and wick put together??


BellULater: I don’t understand why you use memes from fucking 2012!!!!!! Why?????


BellULater: like you don’t even mean to do it you are literally incapable of using a meme from this month??


ThatsSoRaven: its disgusting??


BellULater: it's disgraceful??


ThatsSoRaven: in this day and age of meme culture??


SexyLexy: I don’t understand meme culture!!!!!


SexyLexy: back in my day we had things called ‘inside jokes’ which always stayed alive and never had a time limit


BellULater: ‘back in my day’ I swear to god I think youre actually an 100 year old woman reincarnated as a 21 one year old girl who doesn’t understand the young uns of the day


ThatsSoRaven: it would explain why youre so bad with technology


BellULater: ur insta be popping tho I cant believe ur insta famous and clarke is vine famous what sort of couple GOALS


ThatsSoRaven: kim and kanye who??


ChillingGriffin: we both have a couple 100 thousands followers we’re not famous


ThatsSoRaven: ‘couple 100 thousand followers’ oh yeah same who doesn’t lmao


ChillingGriffin: back to dragging lexa about memes tho…


SexyLexy: klorke why


ChillingGriffin:  it's embarrassing??


ThatsSoRaven: hold the fuck up!!!!!


BellULater: clarke is that you???


ThatsSoRaven: what happened to the Lexa Outdated Meme Defence Squad???


BellULater: of which there was only one member, you, bc everyone is sick of lexas shit??


ChillingGriffin: yes well….


ChillingGriffin: she started singing what does the fox say yesterday…


BellULater: I Am Disgusted




BellULater: is that song a meme tho


BellULater: actually its outdated as fuck I’ll let it pass


SexyLexy: thank u judge blake


ChillingGriffin: ….


ChillingGriffin: she started singing it while she was going down on me




SexyLexy: they don’t call me sexy lexy for nuthin I know what a woman wants


ThatsSoRaven: OH MY GOD


ThatsSoRaven: I AM SCREAMING!!!!!!!




ThatsSoRaven: omg details like did she sing the words ‘what does the fox say’ and then start doing the fucking demonic yapping into ya puthy??


BellULater: delete this tbh????


ChillingGriffin: yes I was STARTLED


SexyLexy: it was in my head!! I just started singing


ChillingGriffin:  ……. U had me lying in bed naked as the day I was born, about to eat me like a buffet dinner…. And the fucking fox song was in ur head???


BellULater: ur lucky u don’t have a dick that’s a boner killer right there my man


ThatsSoRaven: really??? Hmmm better test it out next time we hook up


ThatsSoRaven: next time ur getting a blow job ur getting a reyes remix of gangnam style


ThatsSoRaven: use ya dick like a microphone


SexyLexy: ur so talented


SexyLexy: when does ur mixtape drop??


SexyLexy: come to brazil


ChillingGriffin: no but bellamy I dried up like the savannah desert


SexyLexy: u liar it was like the titanic had just been hit by an iceberg and we were the only two without a life boat it was wet™


ThatsSoRaven: and cold??


BellULater: people died lexa


ChillingGriffin: rip jack and rose


ThatsSoRaven: they couldve both fit on that fucking board of wood??


SexyLexy: we are NOT having this debate again


ChillingGriffin: it hurts too much


BellULater: are these kids in my class kidding they know I can clearly see them cheating?? Amateurs


ThatsSoRaven: we were the kings and queens of cheating back in the day


ChillingGriffin: remember during my biology test I had the textbook beside me the entire time and I still failed?? How??


ThatsSoRaven: I still cant believe Dr Singh CAUGHT you cheating and didn’t do anything


SexyLexy: maybe that’s why u failed


ChillingGriffin: ur honestly not wrong babe


BellULater: g2g a kid just straight up fainted off her chair onto the ground ttyl xoxxooxox


ThatsSoRaven: omg hope shes okay xx I gotta blast too guys ive an exam I sadly cant cheat on


SexyLexy: good luck both of u xox


ChillingGriffin: deuces


BellULater and ThatsSoRaven have left the group ‘We Dem Boyz’


ChillingGriffin: and then there was two :)


SexyLexy: I have a class that I could very potentially skip to go make my fave girl feel better ;)


ChillingGriffin: you know that’s what I like to hear


SexyLexy: oh I know what you like to hear


SexyLexy sent an audio recording into the group ‘We Dem Boyz’


ChillingGriffin: I honestly don’t know what I expected


ChillingGriffin: but you singing what does the fox say complete with animal noises while walking through a crowded area wasn’t one of them


SexyLexy: Im walking through campus, everyones looking at me, jealous of my talent I expect


ChillingGriffin: what else could it be


SexyLexy: so….. are you onboard the titanic right now or stranded in the desert


ChillingGriffin: why don’t you come find out ;)


ChillingGriffin has left the group ‘We Dem Boyz’