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House of Sans

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You wake up to the television blaring from downstairs. You groan and sit up, grabbing your phone to check the time. Six AM!? Who the hell is up at six?!

“LET’S GO! JUMP IN! YOU CAN LEAD THE WA-AY! HEY! HEY!” Of course, who else? D-D-D-D-D-DORA, D-D-D-D-D-DORA, D-D-D-D-D-DORA, D-D-D-D-D-DORA! SWIPER NO SWIPING, SWIPER NO SWIPING! *aww man!* DORA THE EXPLORER!”

You can’t help but laugh as you get yourself ready for the day. It seems that Alphys had taken the liberty of getting a few things for whoever was to get the job, including MTT brand makeup and hair accessories, as well as a brush and a hair dryer. That was nice of her! Or perhaps she was just doing product placement? Eh, who cares? You get free shit!

You leave the vanity alone for the time being though, leaving the cosmetics and other things untouched for the most part and head over to the closet. Inside there were several white sweaters of different sizes, along with a couple of jogging pants that also varied in size. Jeez, was Alphys really so worried about making a good impression?

You skim through the sweaters until you find one that’s your size and slip it on, it was very cozy, felt kind of like wearing a blanket. Finding jogging pants that fit was a much easier task as they stretched fairly well and were nearly a one size fits all kind of deal, or at least the ones you usually wore were anyway. You grab a black pair and slip them on. Great, now you were dressed and you were at least ready to go out of your room for the morning.

You quickly put on the bunny slippers and put your phone in your pocket before going out of your room.

“IT’S BEHIND YOU!” “I don’t see it. Do you Boots?” “COME ON DORA THE MAGNIFICENT SANS BELIEVES IN YOU!” “Oh, there it is!” “I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!”

You giggle at Blueberry even though at the moment you couldn’t see him, it was still funny as hell. “Gah! Blueberry, shut the fuck up! People are tryin’ to sleep up ‘ere!” Screeches Red from a doorway just above the staircase. Blueberry makes a huff sound and chastises Red saying, “LANGUAGE!”

“I’ll show ya language ya little runt-” Red stops his tirade as his pupils catch sight of you down the hall. “Well, mornin’ sweetcheeks.” His demeanor shifts completely as he leans against his open door. He is well aware that in order to get down the stairs you need to pass him, and his smug face says he won’t let you go that easily.

“Yeah, I have a name bonehead,’ you say rolling your eyes.

“-----, yeah, I know it sweetheart. I just don’t think it does ya any justice,” he says with a wink.

Oho, he wants to flirt, huh? Okay, let’s flirt. “Really there big boy?” You ask getting closer, a sultry look in your eyes and a sway to your hips. Because you know sweaters are the ultimate in seduction clothing. “You think you could come up with a better one?”

He nearly loses his balance from the initial shock, but he quickly recovers looking smugger than ever. “Maybe,” he replies pupils following the rhythm your hips created as you sauntered ever close.

You were right up on him now, you could see the sweat running down the side of his skull as he tried to keep his composure, and you could see the blush forming on his cheekbones. You looked into his eye sockets and at his pupils with the lustiest stare you could manage before trailing a hand along his cheek, down his jacket, and just barely brushing against his member through his cloths. “Someone’s excited,” you purr before leaning in close to his face, lips only centimeters away from his teeth.

“You want all this, big boy?” You ask rubbing against him. He’s panting now, and you are having way too much fun. He nods fervently and you grin deviously. “Good.” You pull away and he whimpers at the loss of contact. “Then earn it.”

You don’t give him time to recover before you head down the stairs. Blueberry’s head turns to see you and he smiles brightly. “HUMAN! GOOD MORNING! I’VE BEEN WATCHING THE HUMAN DORA AND HER SENTIENT MONKEY COMPANION BOOTS!” He exclaims excitedly.

You giggle at his explanation of Dora the Explorer and head over to sit next to him. He has dry cereal in a bowl, it appears to be Cheerios, and is munching away on it like popcorn. “WANT SOME?” He asks moving the bowl your way. There has to be at least a full box in there.

You shrug and reply, “sure, why not?”

The two of you continue eating cereal and watching Dora, with a few interruptions from Blueberry giving encouragement and advice to the make-believe cartoon girl. You smile and giggle at times, man Blueberry is like a little brother.

Eventually, the rest of the tenants come down to have coffee and breakfast. You end up making chocolate chip pancakes at the request of a certain cinnamon roll and your new job starts with cleaning the kitchen. Little blueberry helped though by putting the dishes away after they were clean and dry, and he even helped sweep and mop. He may just be your favorite!

“HUMAN I HAVE GOTTEN RID OF THE WASTE WATER AND CLEANED THE BUCKET AND MOP-BROOM! WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW?”He asks eagerly eyes shining brightly.

You can’t help but smile at the little guy. “Nothing bud. We’re done for right now, but tell you what, why don’t you go pick out one of those Disney movies you like so much and I’ll make us some popcorn as a treat for being so helpful, huh?” You say gently patting his skull.

“OH BOY! THANK YOU NEW HUMAN FRIEND! I KNOW JUST WHAT TO PICK!” He squees before running out of the room.

You wonder briefly what movie he’ll pick, but it doesn’t really matter because you like all the Disney films. As you head to the kitchen and get  the popcorn out and into the microwave you can’t shake the feeling of being watched. Maybe you were being paranoid? You were in a new house with a lot of new people.

“Hey kid, thanks for being so nice to Blueberry,” Blue suddenly said. When the hell had he come into the kitchen!?

You jump back and clutch at your chest, your heart feeling like it might pound out if it wasn’t forced to stay inside. “What the hell Blue?!” You say almost angrily. “You almost gave me a heart attack!”

“Jeez kid, didn’t mean to rattle your bones like that. I was just thanking ya for being so nice to Blueberry. He’s been having a really difficult time making friends here. People… well they don’t understand his… enthusiasm. He acts fine and all, but he gets really lonely, especially now since he’s here without his brother. All of us, whether we want to admit it or not, are really close to our brothers, and that goes even more so for him… his brother basically cared for him since he was a baby bones and losing that? It’s real hard on a person, human or monster, but he seems to have taken a real likin’ to ya and so far you’ve been nothin’ but nice to the guy. So I only feel it fair to warn ya…. Kid…. if you ever hurt him…. Y o u ‘ r e  g o n n a  h a v e  a  b a d  t i m e.” Holy shit.

Everything went black and Blue vanished. Fuck that’s spooky, scary! Man, never get on his bad side!

The popcorn finishes with a DING and you quickly pour into a bowl. You really needed some chill time with Blueberry to forget everything that just happened. Grabbing the bowl in both hands you hurry into the living room where Blueberry sits waiting for you.

“HUMAN FINALLY YOU’RE HERE! I WAS BEGINNING TO GET WORRIED!” He says as you pop a squat next to him.

“Nah, I’m tough as nails. Popcorn was just taking its time,” you reply with a wink.

He blushes as he pushes the play button on the remote. As it started you immediately recognized the film, The Great Mouse Detective. Huh, you thought maybe Blueberry would be more of a Robin Hood type or Mulan or even Hercules. You could see how he would like The Great Mouse Detective, the heroes are small and have to use their wit as opposed to brute strength to get out of problems.

“Oooh, are you two watching that moving picture film with that one detective mouse!?” Science Sans asks trying to hide his excitement, clearly this is also a favorite of his as well.

MMMMMHMMM, YOU SHOULD WATCH WITH US! WE HAVE POPCORN!” Blueberry chimed happily shaking the bowl.

S. S. made his way downstairs and sat on the other side of you. “While I will have to decline your, generous offer of the popped corn, I will most definitely come and watch the film with you! I absolutely am infatuated with the protagonist and his intelligence as well as ingenuity! Oh, but I’ll hush now, wouldn’t want to talk through the whole thing would I?” He chuckles settling in and fixating his gaze on the television.

“Yo, what’re you nerds doin’?” Red questioned from the stairs.

It had just gotten to the part where Basil shows up dressed in his disguise too! “WE’RE NOT NERDS! AND WE ARE WATCHING THE GREAT MOUSE DETECTIVE!” Blueberry huffs indignantly before pulling a one-eighty and asking. “WANNA JOIN?”

Red laughed, making you want to punch him in the face so much more than you already did, this was quality adult entertainment damnit! “Eh, why not? Got nothin’ else ta do until Alphys shows up with the new guys,” he says, oh yeah that was today, “Besides, I like that Vincent Price guy as the rat.”

You were almost shocked that Red was cultured enough to know who Vincent Price was, let alone the roles he played. Perhaps he wasn’t as simple as everyone thought he was? Then he sits on the couch and grabs some popcorn from Blueberry, proceeding to attempt to throw a piece down your shirt. Nope, he was just a jerk.

You made it nearly to the villain song ‘The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind’, before another interruption, fuck you wish you had a bell that summoned a skeleton eating beast right around now!

“Hey, what’s everyone doin’ sittin’ by the tv?” G asks descending the stairs, his long legs allowing him to skip one or two and quicken his pace.

“Oh, hey G just watching The Great Mouse Detective, wanna come watch with?” You ask not nearly as annoyed, something about his smooth tone calming you.

G Sans shrugs and comes on over, due to his height he chooses to sit behind you, that way he can see and still be close to you (as both sides of you were currently occupied by S.S. and Blueberry). “Never argue over gettin’ to spend more time with you doll,” he whispers once he is seated so that only you can hear.

Is it healthy to want to fuck a skeleton? Because right now your body was desperately craving that very odd sin. The only thing that saved you was Blueberry’s humming to the song, it was just too damn adorable for you to be aroused. You’d have to find a way to thank him later.

The remainder of the movie went on as intended, Blueberry gasping when Ratigan kidnapped Olivia, even though he’d clearly seen it before, and cheering when Basil saved her at Big Ben. Then leaning on you for comfort when Ratigan transforms into what he truly is on the inside, and all of the sophistication and finesse vanishing as the clothing gets ripped off by the clock’s interior mechanism. You didn’t giggle or laugh at his reaction, he was acting just like a little kid who was seeing something scary for the first time (again even though he’d seen it before it didn’t really matter) , and that you could relate to, after all you were young once, and frightened once.

So as he gently shook you held him and stroked his skull gently. The other Sans’s were too interested in the climax to notice Blueberry, and you wonder if before you come here, did he have to suffer alone? He still watched the movie, he was still clearly interested in what was happening, but he had gotten so immersed he genuinely felt like Basil was in danger and that Ratigan was a real threat. Poor thing. As soon as they both fell of the clockface he went stiff, oh god, don’t cry. Luckily before he could start the ‘big reveal’ happened and Basil arose through the smoke using the zeppelins propeller and a bicycle’s pedals as a makeshift helicopter.

Blueberry pulls back and cheers, you act like nothing happened. After the movie ends, you go take the, now empty, popcorn bowl into the kitchen and drop it in the sink. You’d clean it up later….maybe.

You hear scuffling behind you and turn to see Blueberry standing in the entranceway to the kitchen shifting from foot to foot uncomfortably. “Oh hey, Blueberry, what’s the matter?” You ask concerned.

He looks around the room then at you. “WH-WHY ARE YOU BEING SO NICE TO ME?” He asks with a blue jelly-like substance gathering at the sides of his eye sockets. Oh shit, is he crying!?

“Wh-What do you mean? Blueberry, y-you’re my friend, of course I’m nice to you,” you reply.

He violently shakes his head. “N-NO I MEAN Y-YOU’RE REALLY NICE! NICER THAN ANY OTHER HUMAN I’VE MET BESIDES FRISK! EVERYBODY ELSE WHO’S BEEN NICE WANTED SOMETHING!” He is full on crying now. You wonder if Sans (Blue) is going to come kill you now, but that’s not what’s important, what’s important is calming Blueberry.

“No Blueberry. I would never do something like that,” you say sweetly.

He doesn’t seem to hear you or notice you as you get closer to him. His magic is swirling around him in blue wisps and his right eye has gone devoid of light, his left has a single fiery blue pupil. “T-THEY WANTED THE NOVELTY OF BEING F-FRIENDS WITH A MON-MONSTER OR TO LOOK C-COOL IN FRONT OF THEIR R-R-REAL FRIENDS OR JUST BEEN NICE TO DO SOMETHING MEAN AND LAUGH AT ME LATER!” God, who had tortured this poor innocent soul?

His magic was getting worse, things were beginning to levitate and vibrate, but still you got closer. You needed to hold him, to assure him that you weren’t like that and you were NOT going anywhere. “MY PAPYRUS AND ALPHYS CAN ONLY VISIT SO OFTEN AND EVEN THEN IT GETS HARDER AND HARDER TO HIDE HOW MUCH I WANT TO GO HOME! THE OTHER SANS’S DON’T LIKE ME! SOMETIMES I DON’T EVEN LIKE MYSELF AND I- HUH?” He stops mid sentence, his magic still heavy in the air, as you embrace him tightly.

He doesn’t do anything, he stops talking altogether and goes limp in your arms letting his tears flow, falling onto you, but you couldn’t care less. “Shhhhh, it’s okay,” you murmur, much like a mother would comforting their child. “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

He sobs a bit and clutches onto you like a lifeline. “I promise, all I want is to be your friend, not because of what you are, but because of who. You are The Magnificent Sans, the bestest best friend anybody could ever have! People are just jealous because they can’t come close!” You encourage.

He continues sobbing before you pull back and take his chin in your palm. “Listen to me Blueberry. There is nobody in the entire world who is more special or unique than you,” you say softly before giving the top of his skull a kiss.

He blushes and you smile and wipe his tears away. “Now, what do you say you turn off the magic and let’s make some hot chocolate while we wait for Alphys to get here with the new guys, huh?”

He nods carefully setting down the levitating objects and extinguishing the remaining magic in the air. His other pupil returned and it was like this never happened, he even helped you make the hot chocolate. You could’ve done the normal packets, but you preferred heating milk in a pot with chopped up chocolate and some cinnamon, it just tasted better to you.

Blueberry cleaned up the pot and you got your mugs and sat on the couch. Maybe these new guys wouldn’t be so bad? Things seemed pretty chill around here for the most part and you think you could handle a couple more guys.

Blueberry sits beside you and grabs his mug. He takes a big gulp of it and you giggle. “Don’t do that! You’ll burn your tongue!” You chastise half-heartedly.

“NUH-UH! I DON’T EVEN HAVE A TONGUE UNLESS I MAKE ONE!” He teases.

“How do you taste without a tongue?” You inquire taking a sip of your own cocoa.

He smiles and wiggles his fingers mysteriously as he replies, “MAGIC!”

So things cool down between you two as you finish your drink. Mostly, you just talk and laugh at each other’s jokes and antics. You're about to finish your coca when the front door bursts open, causing you to drop your mug. You brace for impact, but luckily Blueberry has caught it with his magic and quick thinking.

“Sk-Sk-Skullface, I t-told you not to do that!” You hear Alphys complain behind a Sans in a black pinstripe suit with matching hat and tie, the stripes being blue, you are sensing a theme here with most Sans’s.

“Heh, sorry Al. Got a little carried away, won’t happen again,” the one in the suit, probably Skullface, replied.

His voice is different from the others and has somewhat of an italian spin on it, though not enough to be noticeable if you weren’t listening closely. Alphys sighs as they all step in. Skullface stands in the corner of the room, eyeing you intently. Creepy fuck.

Another Sans in a blue hoodie, black sweatpants with white stripes, blue tennis shoes, and black fingerless gloves comes in after Alphys, his hood up and looking around nervously. The one behind him however, well, there was NOTHING shy about that one.

He had a black crop top with a blue heart in the center that only covered his ribcage, leaving a large portion of his spine completely revealed, his jacket was sleeveless and a dark purple color with a neon blue fur lined collar, he even had his own black fingerless gloves, he wore tight black leather pants, and light blue boots. His eyes were dark purple hearts and everything about him just screamed ‘fuck me’. When he caught sight of you the first thing he did was come over and lean over the couch in such a sexual way you were red as a beet and you didn’t even do anything.

“So Alyphys you goin’ to introduce us to this little cutie pie here or are we just supposed to stand around here all day lookin’ at her?” He purred.

You weren’t sure if it was going to be you who was doing the teasing anymore.