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Of Leaves and Stars

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Prongs,                
As requested, you are my first official Text Message. I just hope I have the code number correct. Right after this I'm trying Evans because there are too many damned buttons on this thing, why do they have to be so complicated??? Really rude of her to help you before helping me, to be honest. Contact me at your earliest convenience.
~Padfoot

I have just so many questions, I don't even know where to start.

Prongs,                
What?               
~Padfoot

Padfoot,              
I'm afraid you've failed your friend, you've got the wrong number.             
~RJL

Not Prongs,                  
No! I was so careful, I copied it exactly, I thought. I blame him. I don't know how yet, but I do. Sorry, thanks for your time, RJL.                  
~Padfoot

Please if you could just answer these, I really feel like I need to know.
1.This is your first text massage? Like not just the first on a new phone, first, first?
2.How old are you??
3.Why do you have a phone with buttons, how old are you??
4.Why do you insist on signing every single text?
5.˝Contact me at your earliest convenience.˝? Who talks like that, how old are you??
6.Are those nicknames, please say yes

RJL,                    
1. This is my first mobile phone, yes. 2. Old enough. 3. I have the phone Evans told me to get, she didn't seem to think I was ready for the flashy flat thing she has. I'm old enough. 4. Well I'll just stop that now then. 5. I talk like that. Old enough. 6. Yes they are.

Addressing the person at the beginning isn't necessary either, they know you mean them, you're texting their number. If you manage to get the right number, of course.

Okay, thank you.

You're welcome. Good luck.

Oh that's it, then? I don't get to ask any questions?

I suppose it would be only fair, go ahead.

 1. RJL?? Are you a fiction novelist or a mysterious benefactor of some kind? Who refers to themselves like that?
 2. How old are YOU?
 3. Why are you still talking to me?

1.I didn't want to give you my name and I don't have a nickname, so initials were the only options. And I don't like how just 'R' looks, so I went for 'RJL'
2.Old enough
3.You amuse me

 1. If you'd called yourself R there would have been pirate jokes.  
 2. Alright. Are you old enough to drink?
 3. I'm so glad.

Thank god I didn't, then. I am.

Between 18 and 40?

I was 19 last month

Oh happy birthday!

Thank you, it was wild.

Oh was it??

You've no idea.

Give me an idea.

It was such a beautiful night, I stayed up til morning, but then when I woke up I barely remembered a thing. Plenty of evidence though about what went down. Truly a killer night.

You are being far too vague, I must know everything.

Nah, it wasn't really all that special, I just had another party a few days back and it was basically the same.

I haven't been to a decent party since graduation.

Which was when

Nearly a year ago.

High school or uni?

High school.

So you're my age

and you didn't have a phone until now

I never had a need!

How have you never had a need for a phone, are you a witch

What no

Okay then if you're not a master of psychokinesis, how did you communicate with your friends all these years?

I talked to them.

With my face.

Okay but outside of school and hanging out, when you were at home

Well living with Prongs that's pretty much not a problem, and Wormtail is over all the time anyway.

Okay I'm just gonna drop it

If you so choose.

So you were never lying awake at night not able to sleep and wishing you could call a friend?

You were just like, eh, no problem waiting til morning

Yes, exactly.

Ughhhh fine. Dropped.

Good luck.

You're frustrating

I take back my amusement

Oi

I am plenty amusing.

 

 

I'm so unamusing that you just stopped texting me???

Is this proper messaging etiquette???

 

 

yes

Oh hello.

We determined why I keep texting back, but why do you?

We did not, you claim to be unamused and yet???

Well now I'm curious

Because I'm interesting.

Sure, let's go with that

Are you always this rude?

Pretty much, yeah

Charming.

Charming is my speciality

Oh is it?

Always has been

Let me tell you, it's not going well.

It's not my job to try to impress you, if you have a problem, just stop replying

Maybe I don't want to.

Well then at least tell me more about yourself

Oh no no no

You already know more about me than I do about you.

You tell me something.

I'm tall

You're tall.

yes

How tall is tall?

Tall enough

Tall enough toooooo???

To reach the top shelf

This is terrible.

Now I have this horrifying faceless tall image of you. Are you as creepy in real life as you are in my imagination?

Even more

I, too, am tall.

How tall

Tall enough.

Tall enough toooooooooo???

Reach a shelf.

Oh, so you're short

I said I am tall enough.

Aha

Shut up, nobody asked you.

Awww you're tiny aren't you

I could kick your arse is what you need be concerned about

Sure you could

I will climb you like the unnatural tree you are, tall person, and fight you face to face.

I much prefer kissing people when I'm face to face with them

Soooo charming

I'm trying to challenge you to a duel here.

Oh, I've never been in a duel!

You know what I mean!

Fight me.

Nah

See, I could take you.

Out to dinner? You'll have to work a bit harder for that

You are infuriating.

Yet you keep replying

Because I'm bored.

Well don't I feel special

Special and charming.

Mhm.

Tell me another thing.

 

I hate my father

Wow.

Okay.

Too dark?

Let me try again

I have green eyes

Oh no no let's go back.

Hate is a strong word.

And also me too.

Wait forward for a second. What kind of green?

I know it is, and I don't use it lightly

I don't know, just green

I dislike my father. I hate my mother.

You're going to need to give me more than that. Maple leaf green, or sage leaf green, or ginko leaf green?

Just green

No more on father?

Tell me to drop it if I should drop it.

 

He hates my entire existence, there's really not much to say.

Uhm

One thing at a time.

"Just green". How can you describe that as "Just green"???

And how can you send pictures?

And I try not to over-empathize, usually, because it seems insensitive, but I think I really do know exactly what you're talking about.

Fine, there's some brown and yellow in there too, it's not just green

I was asking for leaves, you've got the whole forest.

Hello, did you leave?

How do I send pictures??

Oh, right

Well I don't know your phone, probably easiest for you to go to pictures and select it from there and then share it

Yay for great parents

It says I don't have any.

Well did you take any?

I'll cheer to that for my adoptive parents.

No.

I'll cheer for my mum

Well that would explain it, wouldn't it

Tell me about her?

And how do I take pictures?

She's wonderful. Always supportive, even of things she maybe doesn't understand too well. And she makes the best scones.

How do you not

Never mind

Select the camera icon and then try pressing the middle button

She sounds wonderful.

Okay hold on.



no

No?

those can't be your eyes

Well it's one of them

It's too pretty

I can't stop looking at it

Awww thank you.

Fuck

Still with me, Tall Person?

Remus

Excuse me?

My name

Oh!!

Hello, Remus.

Hi, pretty eyes

Sirius

Hi, Sirius

Um

Pronouns?

Yes.

She/her is good right now, that will change.

And you?

Okay, you'll let me know, yeah?

If you’d like.

I would.

He/him

They/them if you must, I'm fine with it

But he/him.

He/him will be just fine then.

Thanks.

Of course.

Listen, I have to go to class soon

But I'd like to talk more later

Yeah?

If you don't find me too infuriating.

Only in a good way.

Have an enjoyable class.

Thank you. I have a feeling I'm going to have a hard time focusing today.

Good luck.

Be sure to sit in the back so the other people can see.

Bit bitter, are we, little star?

Fghjkmmikl

Sorry.

I'm sorry.

I dropped the phone.

It's fine.

Sturdy.

I'm not bitter.

No worries, it happens.

And of course you're not.

Being seated behind tall people is the worst.

But sitting in the front isn't cool enough?

Is that a question?

Your struggle is real.

So real.

Go suffer somewhere else for a few hours.

I'll be here when you get out.

ttyl

What???

Did you drop yours too?

Nope

Consider that your homework

What the hell???

;)

Are you having a stroke?

Turn your phone 90 degrees right

I don't understand.

lmao

????????

 

Chapter Text

O ok

Idk wat u were saying

Lol lol

Jk

I c it now

U said ud brb

R u still n class?

I'm gonna need you to stop and get back to normal words

Y

This s a-ok

No.

Yyyyyyyyyyyyy

It's annoying

U r

Well, okay then. Bye

Nooooo come back I'll stop

Promise

I promise!

Okay, I'll stay.

Thank you

So you looked things up?

I'd be hard pressed to find a book with the definition of "ttyl" in it, I think

Nah, Prongs shared some newly acquired wisdom

I meant more if you googled it, but okay

They as bad as you?

Ah no, I didn’t search with the internet. I will consider that next time

Whatever I am, he's worse, I assure you

I don't knoooow

He did know all those things you didn't

Oh shush

Talk, don't talk, go away, don't go, shush,

Which one will it be?

Ummmn yes.

Do you not know how questions work?

Ummm yes.

Okay..

The answer is talk, please, and don't go away

Tell me more about you and I'll consider it

Well you already know I live with Prongs, you know how I feel about my parents

I have twelve piercings.

Where

Hmmmm

Nah

Next?

Nah???

Tell me

I need to know

Noooope

Why not

Are they all in your ears and you're afraid I'll think you're not cool enough?

How dare you?

That's totally it

You're trying to goad me and it's not going to work

If you say so

Just know that that's what I'm gonna believe until you prove me otherwise

4 in one ear, three in the other. That's it for ears.

How many others on your face?

Nooope

None? The rest are all imaginary, you say? Well okay

Tell me something about you

I don't have any piercings, but I have a few tattoos

Oh

Oh?

Mmmhm

What?

Hmmm

Nah

Next?

I at least told you how many in my ears, you have to give me something

Four of them are animals

Four

How many total???

10ish

Ish?

It's complicated

Definitely explain

Maybe one day

Fiiiiiine

What class were you in earlier?

Creative writing

Wow

Is that something you do?

Write? Yeah, sometimes

Is it just one class or are you in uni?

Uni

English and history

Oh so you're a nerd

Yeah, gonna stuff me in a locker now?

Maybe

Great, a popular kid

Um

No.

Just believe nerds should be made fun of?

Also not what I said

If I shove you in a locker it's because it's you, not because you're a nerd

oh that's better then

I'm far too punk for popularity

true punks don't say they're punk

Impossible logic, because I just did

poser

Only for cute photos

awww, a cute punk

I'll allow it

Do you have any siblings?

1ish

Definitely explain

Well does one technically have ANY blood related family once they've been officially disinherited?

That depends on how you feel about them

Well it also depends on how they feel about me, so there you go

Okay. I'm sorry.

It's fine.

My father's awful, and did some really shitty stuff, but he never kicked me out

I know it's all because of mum, but still

Well, to be fair I ran away first

The notice of legal detachment came later

Wow

How lovely of them

It was

The best thing that ever happened for me

You mentioned adoptive parents?

I've lived with Prongs ever since, first with his parents, then a few months ago we got our own place

He's your...

Best mate

So what do you do?

I'm a starving artist, minus the starving

Hah

You any good?

Wouldn't you like to know

You paint?

Sketch mostly

People? Nature? Bowls of fruit?

Whatever comes to mind

How many bowls of fruit have you drawn in your life?

Zero

Do you do commissions?

The goal is to someday

How much for a bowl of fruit?

What

How much would I have to pay you for a sketch of a bowl of fruit?

But I would have no way to give it to you

Have you ever heard of post?

True

Well there you go

Okay

A bowl of fruit then

Yes, but I'm going to need at least the estimate price first, please

What do you think is fair?

I can't possibly say

I don't know how good you are

Also I don't know anything about art

Then we'll see what's fair when it's done

Alright, it’s a deal.

 

***

 

rise and shine, little star

I'm up

you're already up???

w h y

it's so early no one should be up yet

You're up

yes but i'm being forced into it

By whom?

an alleged friend

Why?

shopping

Ooooh fun, for what?

no

no fun

clothes

Probably fun

What kind?

idk, just clothes

Is it for an occasion?

no

that i could forgive

i don't understand why we have to go so early nothing's even open at this ungodly hour

So Forest Eyes is not a morning person, noted

very much no

Nor is he a shopping person, also noted

very very much no

What is something you do like?

sleeping

Remus

dog star

Tell me something you really really like

chocolate fr

chocolate.

Chocolate what?

uh

frappes

Frappes

You're a frappe drinker

Omg

yep, that's me, love frappes

What are you hiding, wolf child?

my hate for people who call me that

Also noted, I'm sorry

What are you hiding concerning chocolate frappes?

nothing of importance

Tell meeeeeeeeeeee

nope, i think you've learned plenty of new me information, time to share a bit yourself

Ask me anything

why are you awake

I'm always awake early

gross

Prongs wakes up to run everyday at 5 and I've never been able to sleep through his alarm. Though at this point is just habit, I think

at 5

he goes to run

to run

at 5

run at 5

in the morning

Oh yes

what the fuck

It's

Unfortunate

does he hate himself

Oh on the contrary

ugh that's even worse then

He's the worst

is he like

healthy

Unnervingly so

is he annoying about it

Oh my sweet tall tree friend, I have two words for you

Kale Juice.

okay well that's it for this, then

we can't be friends, i'm sorry

Not me!

Him!

Don't be friends with him!

well you're best friends, so being friends with you is still too close to kale

I won't ever make you drink kale, I promise

promise on something you care about

I promise on my bike, I will never make you drink the awful green stuff Prongs leaves lying around all the time

you have a bike?

Well no but I will

It's a work in progress

you can’t promise on a bike you haven’t even bought yet

I’m not buying it, I’m building it

you’re

okay

so you're promising on scraps of metal?

I’m promising on the one thing in my life I have full confidence I will manage to see through

okay.

Okay?

yes, okay, i accept your promise, we can continue this friendship

Oh, excellent

is it okay to call it that?

Well I've sent twice as many messages to you as I have to Prongs, so I'd say it's valid

okay

my friend thinks it's a bit strange

They do?

yeah, but she doesn't really trust technology, so i'm ignoring her opinion

What's she like?

cheerful

Oh I bet you're loving that

she always wants to Do stuff

Like what?

like go out, or write a song, or bake, or skip down the street

I vote you do all of these things

ugh, you would.

I do

your vote doesn't count

Rude!

What's rude is you stealing Remus' attention when he should be paying all of it to me and how I look in this dress. He'll talk to you later, bye

What

Oh

Okay, bye

Ttyl!!!!

Chapter Text

Is that on a hanger?

Are you

Are you trying on a corny jumper?

Maybe.

You don't Try On corny jumpers

You do when you don't have any intention on buying them but you lost a bet.

What was the bet???

Not important.

Nothing has ever been more important, what was the bet???

Really, nothing?

In all of history, nothing has ever been more important than you knowing what the bet was?

Sincerely nothing ever

My friend thought that the cashier was checking me out, and I told her it's their job to check out everything, and then she said if she can get their number for me in under thirty seconds I have to try on a jumper of her choice.

And you got the number?

I got the number.

Well with eyes like those

I was never even close enough for them to see my eyes.

Well that's the only thing I have to go on, unless you verbally abused them but in a flirtatious way. You'd probably be good at that

Mmm probably

Are you going to use the number?

No

Awww why not?

Oh are you seeing someone?

Are you Aro?

I didn't mean to ask if it was a dumb question

I'm not seeing anyone and I don't plan to. Not aro either

Okay

Gotta ask it, feel free to ignore it

Why?

God, where to even start

Anywhere you'd like

I don't do romantic relationships because there are things about me I'd have to keep hidden from the other person, and that doesn't seem right. And if they knew about them, they'd leave, and I wouldn't blame them, no one deserves to be with someone like me. No, I can't explain further. And I don't do sexual relationships because I don't like how I look and am not comfortable in my body, and that's for several other reason than me being trans. And that's just my side of things, without taking into account that no one would ever want to be with me anyway.

Wow

Okay

I'm sorry

You asked.

Not sorry I asked, sorry if I brought bad things up unnecessarily

Thanks, though

It's okay.

So did you leave with the kitten jumper?

Maybe.

You diiiiid

It was really soft on the inside okay shut up

Oh you didn't have to admit you LIKED it

Ugggghhhh

Could've stuck with "I lost a bet" but sure

I already told you buying wasn't part of the bet

True enough

Was that the only thing you got?

Yes and I regret it already

I'm sure you're adorable in it

Not the point

So your friend

She's pretty scary

She can be.

Did you have any fun at all?

Oh, loads

Really. She's great

Good, then

You'll find out I complain a lot and am fairly grumpy especially in the morning, but I do also know how to have fun and enjoy things.

Oh

Oh

Oh

So what you're saying is

You're a POSER

That is not what I'm saying.

That is what you said.

I just enjoy things more than I let on

Isn't that technically the opposite of a poser

No you're posing as a grumpy, jade, cat jumper wearing nerd

I am grumpy.

Sure sure

And I'm getting grumpier by the second.

Are you pouting?

No.

I don't pout.

Oh you definitely pout

Who asked you

You

My mistake

I can hear the pour in your texts

Fine, so I'm maybe pouting a bit, whatever

I'll have you know I'm very cute when I pout.

That I believe

Ugh

You can't win

That's fine, I'm used to it.

Noooooo don't just accept it like that, that's sad

And that's how you win by not winning.

Oh my god

Just saying.

You're a professional

Winner? Yes.

I'm in awe

As is right.

 

 ***

 

I spent today purchasing fruit

Excuse me?

Oh!

Oh oh oh! For my commission??

Yes

What did you get?

Like everything

The flat is covered in fruit

Did Prongs see it yet, does he think he's died and gone to heaven?

Oh he's not allowed to touch any of it until I'm done

He's in hell

You're cruel.

I like it.

I'm going to stretch this out as long as I can

Wait, are there oranges?

Yes, of course, why?

I would like to request that they not be included.

Okay, no oranges

Thank you.

Is the reason for this to remain a mystery?

They're disgusting, everyone knows that

Everyone

Everyone knows that oranges are disgusting

Everyone

Well if they don't, they should

I'm pretty sure

Pretty sure

There are more people who enjoy oranges than people who don't

Those people are wrong

You're wrong

There is nothing good about oranges

They smell nice

Not nice enough to forgive their other flaws

What are their flaws exactly?

A) It's impossible to eat them without your fingers getting all sticky and orange and it doesn't go away for the longest time. B) Peeling them is a nightmare, tbh all fruits that require a knife to be eaten should be eliminated from this world. C) The gross white bits. D) They don't taste good at all. E) Some even have the seeds still in them. F) Their name is completely unoriginal. G) All their glory comes from orange juice, which is for some reason widely considered as the default juice, which is terribly unfair to all other juices, especially the pumpkin juice, aka The Best Juice. H) They forced their way into chocolate, resulting in the world's grossest combination. I) They think of themselves as the most common citrus next to lemons (which are at least useful for seasoning, but somehow still receive more criticism), and get the most attention even though there are so many other and better citruses around that no one pays attention to or even knows the name of. Basically they're The Straights of the fruit world.

Wow

Fight me.

How do you fight this insanity?

"The name is completely unoriginal"

Well it is.

"All their glory comes from Orange juice"

Fact.

A+ on the pumpkin juice though, I'll give you that

THANK YOU

"They think of themselves as"

I don't think oranges have the capacity for concrete thought

Oh don't get picky about the phrasing, that's not the point

Your defense of lemons is inspiring

Feel free to include as many as you want in your work

I shall

I'm happy about how serious you're taking this whole thing

I appreciate you not making that into a Sirius pun.

I figured you got tired of those at least a decade ago

Something like that

Except when I do it. Then it's okay and hilarious

Oh, obviously, yes

Obviously

Do the star comments bother you?

Hah no

Those are at least creative

Okay, making sure

Thanks

 

Is that

My shoulder? Why yes, yes it is

You have a STAR tattoo???

Oh is that what that is?

Huh

Yeah, I guess I do

You have a star tattoo

I have a star tattoo

Wow

Take all the time you need to process this

It'll be a minute

I'll wait

I think I'm okay

You sure?

Nope

✮✮✮

What

What?

Oh you have a shite phone, I forgot

It's star emojis

Star what?

Emojis

Christ. Like little pictures?

If you say so

God, you're worse than Alice

Alice would be the technology-hating, shopping-loving friend who scolded me?

Yes

I think I'd like Alice

Yeeeah, you probably would

Seems I texted the wrong wrong number

Ouch

Nahhh you know you're my favourite

Am I?

Of course

I don't see any proof

Stillllll texting you aren't I?

That hardly proves I'm your favourite

I'm not texting anyone else with regularity

Me neither, but that's only because I don't have friends

You have Alice

Yeah, but she hates phones

Then I am special

Of course you're special, Sirius.

And you've never tried to make me drink kale, or put a rat in my shoes, so you're basically my favorite person

Someone. Put a rat. In your shoe. ???

That'd be Wormtail

What did you do to them??

Why do you assume I started it?!

No one just decides to put a rat into an innocent person's shoe.

Oh god, was it alive or dead?

Wait no

I don’t want to know, don’t tell me

Either way, no one would do that for no reason

Wormy would

Would, not did.

I may or may not have lit all of his pants on fire

Theeeere we go

I put the fire out!

You want me to applaud you for putting out a fire you started?

Yes

Well done.

Aww thanks!

Unbelievable.

So flattering

 

So how's my drawing coming along?

Drawing

Drawing?

I thought

It's a painting.

Omg

You said you mostly sketch??

But you asked if I painted!

And then you told me you sketched!

And I said draw me a bowl of fruit!

Oh my god I'm getting a painting??

Yes

Oh god

You do not have to pay me for this

I mean you never did, obviously, but I need you to know

Yes I do, I commissioned you

You do not have to pay for a painting you didn't order

Noooo

Yes

Noooo

Yes, I want to have the first official piece of the famous Sirius [middle name] [last name] - ˝Padfoot˝

You will

Yes, but you said your goal was commissions, and I want to be the start of that

Ugh

You can frame one of the notes and everything

 

The only note, more like

We said we'd talk about the price when it's finished

Yes but I feel awful

Please don't?

Well not awful

But like I've coerced you somehow

You haven't

Okay

And if it turns out you're shite at painting,

Nah, who am I kidding, I'd still buy it

Your faith in me is inspiring

Use it and go work, then

But then I’d have to stop texting you to hold brushes and things

˝And things˝

I see you’re a true professional

And I’m going to bed anyway

Oh

Alright then, that works

Goodnight, Forest Eyes.

Night, little star

Chapter Text

Rise and shine Remus.J.L.!

No

Good MORNING MOONSHINE

Sorry you can't be sunshine because the sun is a star and I have a monopoly on those

Go away

Make me

 

Did you fall back asleep or am I receiving a silent treatment?

 

Remuuuuuuuuuus

 

You're bluffing

You're asleep

I'm not

Aha!

Go back to sleep

No thanks

Fine then just leave me to sleep

But you're not sleeping

Because someone keeps annoying me

Is it Alice?

Want me to fight her?

I'm putting you on silent

You can't ignore me

You can try

But you can't ignore me

Watch me.

You can't, I'm special

 

Stoooooooop

 

Please

I don't like being ignored

How do you take your tea?

Depends on the tea

Well what kind and with what would you enjoy right now?

Hmmm

Earl Grey, one sugar, bit of milk

Okay, I can live with that

You?

Whatever the other person's having

As long as it's not in a tea bag

What a strange combination of nonchalance and snobbery

Tea bags are a crime

Do you see me disagreeing?

No, but you never know with one sugar people

I changed your order to two, one is just ridiculous

Changed

Are you having my tea right now?

I am

Awwwwwwwwwww

Except you ruined it with too much sugar

Did not. It's perfect now.

Ew

You can't even taste just one sugar!

Exactly????

It's wasteful

If you don't want to taste it, just don’t put any at all in

Sugar is so very not there to be tasted???

It's a flavour enhancer

To highlight otherwise subtle notes in the tea

If you want to taste the sugar, skip the tea and drink sugar water

Whateveeeeer

Brilliant counter argument

Well I am sitting on a counter

Of course you are

Where is this counter?

In the kitchen?

What kitchen?

Oh, that. I'm still at home

You know asking you questions is like physically painful?

What is home? Home is with parents? Home is at Uni? Home is the side of the road with a conveniently placed kitchen counter?

˝Still at home˝ in this context usually means still living with your parents

Thank you for clarifying

I wasn't actually trying to be difficult this time.

It's a natural talent

A really great one to have

I can see how you'd find it useful

Mhm

No class today?

Later

What class?

Poetry, language and society, nations and empires

Sounds interesting?

I enjoy all of them

Right, because nerd

Yes, I enjoy learning, how very uncool of me

Who ever said that nerd = uncool?

You're giving that kind of vibe

Well I assure you I don't mean to

Okay

What do you do besides class and shopping?

Text cute boys

Oooooh

You should introduce me to them

No

Why noooot?

They'd all stop talking to me

Wow mean

Mean is you wanting to talk to other boys

Am I not interesting enough?

Never said that

I read and write and sometimes I bake

What do you bake?

Chocolate chip cookies

Yummmm

It's the only thing I can make, but I can make them really really well

What's your secret?

Magic

Ha ha

Old family recipe

So just chocolate chip cookies then?

Yeah

I tried making mum's scones, but that didn't end well

Wow

Nothing deadly

That so does not reassure me???

Let's just say you're not the only one who can start a fire

When I do it I MEAN to do it

Irrelevant

Kinda relevant!!

Nah

I'm afraid for you

Nonsense

So afraid

Trust me, cooking won't be the thing that kills me

Intriguing

Don't worry too much about it

Well now I have to

Really, you don't

No choice

Suit yourself

What do you read?

If I just say books, are you gonna get mad again about how frustrating it is to ask me questions?

Yes.

I read books.

Reeeeeemuuuuuuuus

I don't like crime or murder mystery novels. Also not a huge fan of sci-fi or fantasy, though when I'm having a really bad day I like to curl up with a horrifyingly bad young adult novel about vampires or werewolves. Anything else goes, and yes, I am a nerd and have read all the classics. Multiple times.

N

E

R

D

Yes, we’ve been through this already

I'm revisiting the locker shoving idea right about now

Most people agree I should be locked up

Top five favourite books of all time, right now, go

Pass

You may not

It's an impossible question

Answer it

No

Do it

Give me the option of a different question, and then I'll answer one

Okay

Either answer that question or show me something you've written

You can ask me anything, and that's what you want?

Hmmm yes

In no order: les mis, the illiad, the little prince, the bell jar, the princess bride

Is there a Nerd emonji?

Because you need a Nerd emonji

There's glasses emoji, is that stereotypical enough for you?

Sure, I suppose

□□□ - glasses, heart, book

I approve

Oh do you?

I'm so relieved

I live for your approval

Well you may rest easy, you've earned it

So what about you?

I have all of my approval at all times

Hilarious

Favourite books?

Uh

Mostly things you've probably never heard of

Try me

Well

I'm not really a read-for-pleasure kind of person I guess

What do you do for pleasure then?

I'm more hands-on

I draw or I work on the bike

I keep this place in order because James is an utter mess, to be honest

Is that Prongs?

Oh yes

James and Peter, Prongs and Wormy

Do I want to know the stories?

Maybe someday

Alright

But I get both of them tonight

Peter coming over?

Yes

And also Lily, James's far superior girlfriend

You're so nice to your best friend

Oi

I am

So far you've called him inferior, a mess, shamed him for his healthy lifestyle and refused him fruit

None of this is untrue

Are you one of those people who can't say nice things about his friend and is uncomfortable with any loving feelings?

Um

Ummm

No.

Okay...

Thing is

Here's the thing

The thing is that

You know you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to, right?

No this needs to be said

If you know anything about me at all you need to know this

Alright

I can say all of the things I want to about Prongs because he is everything to me.  He's all of the family I never had.  He and his family took me in when I was a dumb kid with exactly nowhere to go and by that time we were already closer than any siblings I've ever seen.  I know his thoughts before he thinks them and he knows mine.  We grew up together.  With the exception of a few summer holidays a long time ago, we've shared a bedroom since we were eleven.  I can lean on James for anything.  If you never know a single other thing about me, know that I love my friend and he knows I love him because I tell him all the time.  No, I am not one of those people who can't say nice things and who's uncomfortable with loving feelings.

Okay.

It just seemed to me like you have the kind of friendship where you jokingly insult and tease each other a lot and I'm all for that, but I just wanted to make sure there's the other things too, because I find it that if those things aren't said as well, you can kind of forget or start doubting things, or worse, start taking the jokes too much to heart, and that can really suck.

But you don't seem to have a problem with that, so I'm glad.

No, there's too much between us for that nonsense

Good

What about Alice?

What about her

Well you pout about shopping and how she doesn't have a phone

She means a lot to me and I tell her that plenty

Okay

We haven't been friends for that long, less than a year

How did you meet?

At a hospital

Oh

?

She's studying h

Sorry, phone slipped

She's studying to be a doctor

Oh nice

Yeah, she's really loving it

And she's good at it too

But how did you MEET?

She kind of sort of maybe saved my life

She did???

Possibly

Were you a patient?

Or did you somehow manage to set a waiting room on fire whilst visiting a sick grandmother and she put it out?

Funny.

Probably not for the grandmother

Yes, I was a patient. My doctor was an arsehole and switched my meds and Alice spotted it. It's possible I would've been fine, but she's sticking to her story

And you've been friends since??

Well she insisted on it

???

I don't really

Do friends

You have to do SOME friends

There are a few people I'm semi-friendly with at uni

That's good

We nod hello and they borrow my notes

That's

That's not friendly

Well it's not unfriendly

I guess?

It is what it is

Well there's me, I'm friendly

Well you don't really know me

I'm trying to but you answer questions like a criminal evading charges

Fine, ask me something and I'll answer completely honestly

Do you do the hospital thing a lot?

Monthly

Okay

It's usually just a check-up, but sometimes there are complications and I have to stay there for a few days

Sounds like lots of fun

It's been better for the last two years since I've been of age, it used to be worse

I'm glad it's better

Yeah

My father used to make all the decisions and we didn't exactly agree on them.

From what you've said I wouldn't imagine he would

Yeah

Are you okay?

I'm okay

Maybe just hoped for a lighter question

What do you write?

You don't have to show me

Short stories mostly. Sometimes a poem creeps in.

Ooooooh he's a poet

Yes, add it to your "Why Lupin is a nerd" list

Lupin?

Remus J Lupin?

Ughhhhh

Yes

Your fault, you handed it to me

Yeah yeah

Tell me it was on purpose

It has to have been on purpose

I don't know what you're talking about

You know exactly what I'm talking about but I already promised I wouldn't say it

Yes, it was on purpose

Mine too very much

My middle name is Orion

Wow

Your biological parents were really committed to this stars thing, huh

It's a Thing

My brother's name is Regulus Arcturus

It's not really fair that they named you after the brightest star but didn't let you shine.

I'm shining now

Good.

James calls it my self fulfilling prophecy

Ooh, I like that

Me too

My middle name's

Nah, not gonna tell you

What why not?!

You know enough

I don't know your favourite colour

It used to be yellow, but I think now it might be grey

Oh

Interesting

Mhm

Grey though

So boring

You see, I used to think so too, but I've been proven oh so very wrong

Oh yeah?

Yep.

 

I made you something.

You made me something.

Mhm

Do I get to know what it is?

Mhm

I would like to return it.

It is yours

Do I get the physical copy?

It will be in with the painting

That you don't get to see until it arrives

Would you rather I shred it, or use our more common destruction method and burn it?

Please shred it, I don't trust you with fire

I can handle fire perfectly fine, thank you

Sure

 

So do you have a favourite colour?

Yes

All of them

Thought as much

Allll of them

Except grey

That's fine, I can like it enough for the both of us

Good

I guess someone has to

What about animal?

I'm a bit of a dog person

Have one?

Nope

Any other pets?

Just Prongs

I don't have any either, animals tend to be afraid of me

Afraid of you?

Is it because you're a tree?

Possibly, it definitely seems like they can sense I'm not fully human

Hah hah

I used to have a bunny when I was really little

Awww

His name, of course, was Bunny

It's only logical

I sure thought so

What was Bunny's fate?

We had to give him away when I was 5

I'm sorry

It's fine, I got over it

Okay


Lily says hi

Pete says hi

James says "I've told you to say hi at least six times and I'm pretty positive you never have, but why not?  Let's try one last time - 'Hello Mysterious Phone Friend'."

Hi Lily hi Pete hello James

I'm not going to tell him you said hello

But you'll tell Lily and Pete?

Yes

They're pleased

But you want James to hate me?

No I just want this to drive him mental

Oh that's okay then

Thank you

 

So are you all just hanging out or

Yes

It's Wormy's turn to cook, so we're mostly watching that catastrophe unfold

What's he making?

*What's he trying to make?

Some sort of a casserole thing

My kind of person, just throwing stuff in a pot

Oh no not you too

Even cooking???

Baking, okay, fine, baking requires some skill I suppose, but cooking???

Are you saying cooking doesn't require skill?

Like barely

I'd get my mum on the phone if she were at home, she'd tell you what she thinks of that

Don't make your mum yell at me!

Oh she wouldn't yell, it'd be much worse than that

Oh no

Oh yes

Does she cook?

She's a chef

Oh my god

I'm so sorry

Mmmhm.

I fucked up so bad

Oh no, she loves people who think her job could be done by anyone

Nooooo

I'll make sure to tell her when she gets home, don't worry

Dooooooooooon't!

Why not, she always appreciates nice comments after long dinner shifts

I'm soooooooooo sorry

Sure you are

I am!

˝Like barely˝

What have I doooooone

I won't tell.

Really?

Really.

Thank you

Not right away, at least

I'll wait until one day you come visit and she cooks and you compliment her food. And then just before dessert, I'll tell her all about this conversation.

So I'm coming to visit, am I?

Sure, focus on that to hide your dread

By the time we get to dessert I will have charmed her so completely she won't even believe you

I'll save the conversation, obviously

SO COMPLETELY SHE WON'T EVEN BELIEVE YOU

This "conversation" never happened

I'd like to see you try

Oh I will

Right, sure

Watch me

 

Okay I have a question for YOU.  When a PERSON says HELLO it is POLITE to say HELLO BACK.  particularly when one says HELLO TO EVERYONE ELSE IN THE ROOM.  So my question is: WHAT DID I DO

You've got some false information there.

I said 'hi' to everyone else in the room.

Padfoot said you were VERY SPECIFIC

Let me point something out to you: Padfoot said.

Excuse me while I hurt your friend, please

 

YOU JUST LET HIM

I thought you had my back!

did he h

hurt you?

He tugged my hair

i'm sorry

My hair is sacred Remus

i'm sorry

Sacred

i'm sorry

I forgive you

you're okay?

Once I achieve retribution I will be perfectly fine

Are you worried?

yeah

Nooo don't be, I'm fine, I am

James would never hurt me

He would mess up my hair which hurts my soul but he would never Hurt me

okay

Now help me plot revenge

yeah, no, of course he wouldn't, friends don't

do that, friends don't hurt each other

i have to go for a bit

talk later

tomorrow probably

sorry

Okay

Chapter Text

I'm sorry

I'm still not quite sure what I said but I'm sorry for it and if you tell me I want to fix it

Or at least apologize properly for it

 

Not talking to you so suddenly feels wrong

 

I'm sorry.

It wasn't your fault.

What was it? Can I do anything to make it better?

You can't

But it's fine, I'm fine, I'm okay

Okay

I'm sorry

Please don't be

I just

I can't really explain

I'm afraid of hurting people

You don't have to explain

I didn't mean to upset you

I overreacted

No??

Idk

If it bothers you it bothers you, it wasn't an overreaction

I guess

Do you want me to drop it?

I can't explain properly, so might as well, yeah

But you know if you need to talk or want to talk you have someone to do that with, yeah?

It's not that simple

Oh I understand that

Wish it wasn't a thing, but I understand it

 

Did you have a good rest of the evening?

Oh yes!

We had leftovers.

The casserole did not go well.

And then Lily introduced us to karaoke

Which was eventful

What did you sing?

Well I TRIED to sing Bohemian Rhapsody myself, but wound up requiring assistance, which was quickly granted

It's not like anyone can resist singing along anyway

Exactly

Thank you

 

Hey is you hair long?

I've been imagining it long

You have an accurate imagination

And dark?

Bordering on creepy imagination

I just thought it'd go best with your eyes

My hair goes with everything

I'm sure it does

It is Important.

Sacred, I've heard

See, you understand

But of course

It was my first big Fuck You to my mother

She hated my hair long

What was the second?

Purchasing my own clothing

I know that feeling

When did you do that?

Well, I. Hm. I didn't so much purchase my own clothes as I did turn what I had into what I wanted

Ooooh that's even better

Do you sew then?

Uhh sure, I guess you could call it that

What would you call it?

TRANSfiguration

Ohmygod

Perfect

But hair was the first step for me too, just that I cut mine off

Awwww

How short?

Very very short

I was trying to make a point

And now?

Now it would still classify as short, but not nearly that short, I really didn’t like it then at all

Might get an undercut again though

Undercut

Again?

Yeah, had one when I was...16, I think

What colour?

Ehhhh

Sort of light brownish

Huh.

What

Nothing

You huh'd

Huh isn't nothing

Huh is huh

And means...?

You have green eyes and shoulder freckles and you're going to have an undercut

How do you

Oh christ, the picture

I have freckles everywhere, if you must know

You have freckles everywhere

Pretty much, yeah

You

Okay

Problem?

No.

No I do not have a problem with your eyes or your hair or your freckles

Good to know

I do have a problem with your height.

Yeah, but that's just because you're short and bitter, I'm not taking that personally

Well you should

Nah, don’t think I will

Okay good

6'2

Nooooooo

Too tall

Sorry

5'something

Tiny

You don't know!

Small

I could probably reach you in heels

To throttle you

Do

Uh

Do you wear those a lot?

Frequently

Boots

Okkay

Okay?

Mhm

Fuck

Nice, yeah?

Sure yeah uh huh sure nice nice could be a way to describe them yup

I regret telling you how to take photos

I have 216

You've only had the phone for a few days

Correct

And you have 216

What are they of??

Dunno, things I see

Can I get some examples?

Oh

I meant just to tell me, but that works too, that works better

Oh, oops

Descriptions and stories behind them, please

Roses from this garden I pass on the way to the shop sometimes and they smelled even better than they looked

Sheets in the morning, I just like how crinkley sheets look

Your hand?

Yes my hand

Prongs and Lily are deer, this is just a fact, so those are just portraits of them

Uh, sure, alright

All of my painting stuff is out right now because of fruit, so those are just some aesthetically pleasing brushes

The shelf with James' and my records, we share custody

Pretty

Thank you

It's rather cute that you do that

What?

Take pictures like that

I want to draw all the things I take pictures of

The drawings, too?

Hah hah

Sounds like a nice project

Well it's not poetry

I don't write that much

I've read one today though that reminded me of you a bit

Of me??????

Yeah

I'm a muse

What poem?

I don't mean to presume anything, it just talks about how the person's favourite colour is all of them, so my mind just went to you

Tell me iiiiiiit

Google 'Colour wheel' by Stella Seibert

Okay

 

Remus

Yeah?

I don't know what to say

You don't have to say anything

Okay

Sorry if I

I don't know

No.

It's beautiful

It's everything

Okay

Thank you

You're welcome

You can do that.

Do what?

Send me things like that

Poems and nice words

Oh. Alright.

If you want to, I mean

I want to.

Okay

And you can send me pictures of things you see and really like.

That sounds good

It's a deal, then.

Good

And if you happen to stumble upon some nice words yourself, I wouldn't say no to those either.

If you do with pictures

I think I can do that

I should go

Sleep

Shopping in the morrow

Ew

Have fun

I will

Dream of colours

 

 ***

 

 

Remus!

Sirius!

Oh that's me

That's you, little star

I

Have a job

Doing what?

I have a job

I got a job

I am employed

Oh! You just got it??

Yes!

I thought you said you were going shopping

Yes.

Yes, but you also had a job interview?

No

You just bought a few shirts and then picked up a job as well?

I didn't buy any shirts

You know how you call me difficult when it comes to questions?

Well, that.

What happened, how did you get a job, where did you get a job?

I am now a proud employee of Lush

Oh that's just fucking great

I really needed to add ˝smells incredible˝ to my mental image of you

I went in for shampoo and they said they were having a party, so I thought, "yay, a party", turns out it was a "hiring party".  Well I was minding my own business and I just mentioned to someone else why the ingredients in one of the shampoos would be really good for keeping in moisture and they asked if I wanted a job

My hair smelling great upsets you?

Yes it does

They just asked you if you wanted a job.

Why???

Yes

Well the one girl did, and then asked me all the other questions

Because.

When do you start?

Tomorrow

Congrats

It's my first job

And you didn't even know you wanted it

Exciting stuff

Well

I am

I'd imagine so

Okay

Is this stupid?

What?

This

Us talking?

No.

Because I talk to you

Like I really talk to you

And I guess it really isn't reasonable to have expectations. I dunno. I feel like I know you, but at the same time I don't. I can't predict your reactions or guess what you'll say.

Well of course you can't, we're just getting to know each other, we've been friends for less than a week

Yeah

I don't think it's stupid.

At all.

Sorry. I'm just pretty excited about this and you're the first person I told, and I'm starting to think maybe I shouldn't be excited about it and I hate that calm-after-the-excitement feeling

No!

No, Sirius, you definitely should be excited about it. It's gonna be great, you seem like the kind of person who'd fit well in there.

And I'm honoured you told me first.

Okay

Is it something you wanted, a job?

It won't interfere with your art?

I didn't think I'd ever be able to get one? I have no experience and no credentials.  James and I have been living off an allowance from his parents while he goes to school and I

Well I do whatever it is that I do

But now that I consider it, it feels like the next big leap of independence

I'm happy for you. Honestly.

Thank you

You'll do great

A job, I have a job, oh wow

Did they tell you what you'll have to do?

Just that I'll be working with people, which is good, I'm best with people.  I'm not so good on my own.

That's good, then

I think it is

I'm sensing a transition into the nervous stage, go back to excitement, you've got nothing to worry about

I can't be trusted with a job, Remus!

Of course you can!

I am not that responsible

So you'll learn to be

You're always up ridiculously early anyway, so you know you'll never be late, that's a good start

Yeah

Enjoy this now, and if it goes bad tomorrow, WHICH IT WON'T, you can worry about it then

Okay?

Okay

Okay okay okay

Thank you

No problem

So which shampoo did you get?

Seanik

I

Don't know why I asked, I have no idea what that is

It smells like clean freshness and has bits of seaweed in it

Mum got me a bath bomb from there for Hanukkah, that's my entire knowledge of lush

Which one?

Uhh

It had moon and stars on it?

Awww Twilight

See, you'll be great, you know stuff

I'm studying

NERD

Looking at a catalogue full of pretty things is not nerdy!

Is if you're studying it

Well you would know all of the technical qualifications

Should I leave you to it?

I suppose

Alright

 

I can't do this

What's causing you trouble?

There's so much to remember

You don't have to know everything

Don't I???

No? They won't just leave you to do the job alone at first, a more experienced employee will be with you to help and train you

Do you think they will?

I'm sure of it

Okay

You will be.

Okay

Thank you

What did James say when you told him?

"You weren't already working there?"

But he's ecstatic, he thinks I'm going to buy him things

Well you do get a discount now

I do?

I would assume so, most stores have the employee discount

I'm sure they'll tell you everything tomorrow when you talk salary and benefits and vacation time and the likes

Ookay

Don't start panicking again

It's a lot

I know, but you can do this.

I can

I can

Okay

Oh

Thank you

Mhm

A lot

You're welcome.

I needed this

I'm here anytime

James is at Lily's tonight

Well I finished all the work I had for uni while you were studying like the nerd you are, so I'm free to spend the whole evening with you through texts

Awww yay

If you want

I can also leave you alone if you'd prefer

Um no?

Please don't?

Alright.

Just checking.

What did you have to do for Uni?

Read a few chapters for history, finish an essay for lit.

Good essay?

Yeah, it was fun

Fun

Yes, fun, shut up

What was it about?

The values of the Homeric hero

Oh wow

Look, I managed to work in how Achilles and Patroclus were totally boyfriends, what more could you want from an essay

!!!!!!!

Well they were

Obviously

Oh I got in so much trouble for inquiring about that to my tutor when I was little

You had a tutor?

A few times a week until I went away to public school, then just over the summers

I was supposed to go to boarding school

Didn't work out

Why not?

If that's an okay question

The nice explanation is that they had no way of ensuring my safety in regards to my medical condition

Oh

I'm sorry

It's alright, I got over it

Did you go to state then?

Home-schooled until high school

I would have died

I used to love those few hours a day at the beginning. They were the only time it seemed like my father actually cared about me. Because he thought maybe I had some potential after all. And I'd study and practice so so hard, so that I'd be good even at the things that I wasn't a natural at, just to impress him. Realized after a few years that I'll never be good enough for him no matter what I did, so I stopped trying for long enough for him to give up on me and agree I can go to m

my local school instead.

And you still live with him?

Yeah

I'm sorry

I'll get out eventually

You will.

Yeah

There's always an out.

So they say.

There is

Can we change the subject, please?

Yes

Which do you like better, fruity scents or earthy scents?

Earthy

Noted

You?

Depends

I'm particular about my fruity scents

How so?

Nothing artificial, or overly sweet, citrus things are yes by themselves but not mixed with other fruits, better when they're the light, floral kind of fruity

Noted

Favourite ice cream flavour?

Vanilla

Ew

THANK YOU

What??

Vanilla is a pointless ice cream flavour

My favourite is chocolate chip

More acceptable, okay

Vanilla is only okay if you're using the ice cream as a vehicle for some more important flavour

I can tolerate it on a side of a stack of waffles

Is that a thing???

What, waffles?

And ice cream

I must try this

Okay but the waffles have to be chocolate

Oh wow

It's the only right way

I'm writing it down

Good.

Is this something your mum would make?

If I ask nice enough

Awww

Making toast is the height of my breakfast food abilities

Remuuuus

I don't like eggs so I never tried making those, and pancakes require way too much work for the morning

You don't like eggs? You don't like what kind of eggs?

Any

You can't just blank out not like eggs, there's too many ways to eat them

I can survive scrambled

You astound me

Thank you

Wowwwww

Whaaat

You

I'm amazing, I know

Not arguing with that

Ughhh you can't just agree

Oh but I do

It's fine, you'll change your mind soon enough

Try me

I'd rather not

Probably wouldn't work anyway

I hate being here alone.

Too quiet?

Yes

I have music on but it's still too

I dunno

Lifeless

What are you listening to?

Turn it to side 2

Oh?

1 is scratched and doesn't play properly

Oh

You

You're listening???

Well I'm about to

Ahhhh

I just

I listen to music sometimes and I wonder if there's anyone who's listening to that very same song at the same time, and what they're like and what they're thinking about. And I guess the chances of there being someone are pretty high, but you can never really know for sure

And I just thought maybe you could.

Know for sure.

Tell me when to start

Count to 10

Okay

And you're really listening?

I'm really listening.

That's

Really nice

I know it doesn't really help

How?

How?

How could anyone construe this as not helping?

This is the least lonely I've ever felt on my own

Oh

I don't know. I guess I was just afraid you'd find it silly

No

I like this

Okay

I do too

Can't believe you have this

I've acquired a pretty decent record collection through the years, the shop I go to has a £1 bin for really old (though unfortunately also more often than not damaged) ones

Ohhh nice

Mhm

How many?

Enough that if I had just been more patient I could've saved up for the few new ones that I actually really wanted

I am suddenly embarrassed by my little shelf

Which is only half mine in the first place

No! Don't be

The bottom shelf are my mum's, and a lot of the others are practically useless or just have really bad music in the first place

It's a great looking collection

Thanks

I'm gonna get up on this table and sing now

You're

Well okay

I'll continue lying on the floor not singing

Come on you have to sing along just a little

Do not

Come oooon

Okay, I'll hum

Just a liiiiiittle singing

Fine, but very quietly, it's late

Yessss

Be careful

I am being chhjjkkllm

Sirius???

I'm okay

I think I'm okay

Did you fall?

Maybe

Siriuuuuus

I'm fine!

Do not climb back up there

So

I should climb back down?

Christ

Yes, and go to bed

But that's less fun

Beds can be plenty fun

Not when they're empty and cold

It's not empty if you're in it

Feels empty

I know.

But my eyes keep closing and I don't want to fall asleep first, because I don't want to leave you alone

Okay okay

Thanks for keeping me company tonight

Anytime.

Good night, Nerd

Goodnight, clumsy

I am not??? I fell once!

Shhhhh

Sleep

I am not clumsy

Sure you're not

I am fucking graceful

I'm certain

You don't know!

Getting real defensive here

 

See and now you fell asleep before presenting any evidence to support your claim, so I really have no other choice than to keep believing that

 

Sleep well, Sirius.

And good luck tomorrow.

Chapter Text

No! You have no evidence to support the accusation in the first place! I fell one time. Clumsy people don't wear the heels I wear, so there's your evidence

You weren't wearing heels when you were singing on the table

Beside the point

Is it?

Yes

I think it's a rather relevant piece of information

I was barefoot

See if you at least had socks on, then I'd understand, because those can be slippery. But now there's really no excuse for your clumsiness

Ughhhhhhh I'm not clumsy!

I guess we'll never know

We do know, we know right now!

It's gonna be a mystery forever

You're awful

Good morning to you too.

Yeah yeah yeah good morning

Ready for your first day?

Not at all

Trying to figure out what to wear

Comfy shoes because you'll probably be on your feet all day

Ummm okay

You do own some normal shoes, right?

Define normal

Flats

I have flats I can do flats

Great, do that then

Hate these days.

Thursdays?

Those too

Days when what I want to wear and what I want to look like aren't the same things.

Ah.

I'm sorry

It's fine.  It's whatever

Would it help if you told me what you want to wear, or would that make it worse?

Well when I imagined it yesterday when she was telling me the guidelines for dressing, I had this leather skirt all picked out in my head. But it's not a Skirt Day. But I was excited about wearing it, so everything else looks marginally unappealing.

Just try and think about how great it's gonna feel when it will be Skirt Day.

Yeah

And I'm sure you'll look great in whatever you do end up wearing today

So you're a nerd AND a kiss arse

I definitely don't think I'd say no to kissing a nice arse

Oh my god

Just saying

Changing your contact name to Dirty Nerd now

You're the one who brought it up

You know very well how I meant it

And you knew I was only trying to be nice and make you feel better

Worked

Good.

Thank you

Anytime

I'll let you know how this goes as soon as it's over

Have a good day

 

You were right!

About what!

They explained a lot more today

Oooh, good!

It is

So much fun

I love it there

Tell me more

Everything smells fantastic??? James always does all of the shopping because he understands

Well he's the one with all the money

And he only uses shampoo he can get for under a pound for Personal Reasons, but he started getting me things from this place around Christmas and he's been getting me things there ever since and I always love them, but I've never been around them all at once before and it's like overwhelming in the best way

Everything is so colorful and smells so good, it's my favourite place

You're cute

What

You're cute when you're excited

You don't even

Shush

I bet you have one of those huge grins on that just won't go away

So what if I do? I had a good day

So I'm happy for you

Oh

Congrats on your first successful work day, really.

Well I learned about a few of the different ingredients and selling points, and the girl said I can use the labels to help me explain so that will be easier than I thought. And everything is so fun and interesting and I wish you could feel my hands right now they're so soft and they smell so good

What do they smell like?

Like gardenia and shea mostly

Just say flowers next time

I smell like flowers.

Working again tomorrow?

Yesss

You just can't wait, can you

I have a prospective outfit and two back-ups

Good, smart.

I will probably go in a different direction entirely but oh well

Good to be at least a little prepared, very responsible

Ew gross

You're responisibleeeee

Am not, you take that back

R e s p o n s i b l e

I'm going to do something irresponsible to counteract this

Planning on being irresponsible on purpose is so not punk rock

It is if I do it

Suuure

Hmph

You probably can't even remember anything to do, that's how responsible you've become

Shut uuuup

I'll think of something

Um

Okay I know this shouldn't really be a big deal, and it's just one of those things people say, and it's not exactly fair of me to ask this, because I say it too, but do you think you could maybe not tell me to shut up?

Oh

Yes, I'm sorry

Thanks for telling me

I waited too long with Alice and then it was a Thing, and I don't want it to be a Thing

It doesn't have to be

Is it the being silenced or the words themselves?

The first, kind of. I can brush off the words most of the time, it often doesn't even register, but then sometimes it's just...really bad. Alice told me once jokingly to ˝never speak to her again˝, and, well. Not exactly the best two weeks of my life.

Remus

I know, I know

Please don't ever shut up

Oh

Um. Okay.

Good. Thank you

Thank you

I really like

You not shutting up

If you could maybe mention that every now and then that would help a lot

I can do that.

Thanks.

Two weeks?

Yeah.

I just thought she had enough of me, that that was it.

And then I sent her an

a package with a few things she left at my house, because she forgets things everywhere all the time

And she showed up at my house right away all confused as to what was going on

And we talked, and she was sorry, and I was embarrassed, and she was kind, and I was sorry, and it was all okay.

This was recent

You said you've only known her a little while

It

Yeah.

It was last month

We talked a few days after my birthday.

I'm sorry

It's all good

I'm glad it is now

Me too

Alice sounds great

She is. She's a genuinely kind person. Maybe doesn't quite understand certain things sometimes, but she's learned not to push.

That's the important thing

Yeah

I'm friendship spoiled

James too perfect?

Yes

And Lily and Pete

Tell me about them?

Pete's been with me as long as James has. We met our first night at boarding school, they made the mistake of putting the three of us in a dorm together. James and I were friends instantly, before we even got to our sleeping arrangements, and then a few days later he started talking to Pete regularly and inviting him into our conversations and he's just been with us since. Not living with him since being out of school is weird, but he comes over as much as he can. He's got his own issues going on at home, though. And then Lily. The light of all of our lives. James had this embarrassing crush on her for years and years in school, real persistent, never got anywhere with it until he stepped back and proved he was a person, not an obsessed nutter. But she was my friend before that. Bought me my first eyeliner, let me spend time in the girl's dorms when she could see I was struggling. Outright fought a kid who made a nasty comment about my alternating use of boys'/girls' toilets. I don't know who I'd be without Lily. Or any of them. I was an unpleasant child, I think. I think sometimes I still am an unpleasant child. But they all helped me grow better and they all had a hand in getting me out of that house and having an identity of my own. It's a deeper than friendship bond with all three, I'd die for any one of them.

Wow

I can't even begin to imagine that

But they all sound wonderful

The whole thing sounds wonderful.

It is, it's the very best part of my life

May I ask where you’re living this life?

Bit outside of London

Okay. Just wanted to have an image in my head of where to place you

I'm in the middle of Nowhere, Wales

How did I manage to mess the phone number up so badly as to message someone in Wales???

How exactly do you think phone numbers work? There's no area codes for cell phones other than the country one

Soooooo they don't like

Go in order?

In what kind of order exactly would you like them to go?

Well I don't know, I'm not a phone expert!

Clearly

Do you like Wales?

Not particularly

It's fine, I guess

Okay

When I was little we used to live in Cardiff, where my mum's from, but then we had to move more out to the country.

Had to?

It was best I was kept away from people

What?

Never mind, doesn't matter

I quite like London, though

Ookay

Yeah?

Yeah, I usually walk around a bit if I'm feeling well enough after my hospital visits, and the couple of times I let Alice drag me out the people were more welcoming and open than what I'm normally used to.

Well we try

Have you always lived around there?

Other than school, just about

Where was school?

The boarding one that I was supposed to go to was in Scotland. My father's from there and went there too, so when I didn't that was a nice cherry on top of all the other disappointments.

You were going to go to boarding school in Scotland?

Yes?

I think you would have liked it there

Yours was there?

Yes.

Nice

I loved it

Maybe not tell me more about it

Okay

I'd like to know, just maybe not right now

That's okay, really. I don't need to talk about it

Okay

 

Help me study?

Sure, what can I do?

What is your skin like?

Uhh...a bit dry?

Might I suggest some Skin Drink moisturizer?

And an Oatifix face mask a few times a week?

And how exactly will those help?

The oats and mushy banana gunk in the Oatifix should combat dry skin overall

And there's avocado in the Skin Drink for moisture, and also aloe vera and rose which are veeery soothing to the skin

Mhm mhm, and what would you suggest for my hair, which sometimes has the opposite problem?

How so?

Well in general it's really curly and pretty soft and nice, but then sometimes I can't really be bothered to wash it for...a longer period of time, and it gets a bit...less nice.

 

This is a pretty long time not to answer a question, I think if I were a real customer I would have left by now

I'm

Thinking.

Oookay

Would a picture help?

No

M

God

...?

Um

Maybe

Wait

I'm waiting

Maybe curly wurly

For the

Those curls

Or I Love Juicy to get all the oils out

But you said you prefer earthy scents and that one is definitely definitely fruity

Alright, well, thank you very much for your help, kind salesperson.

Mmhm

You okay there?

Yeah

Yes

Yep

Okay..

You should get that undercut.

Yeah, you think?

Yes.

Okay, I think I will

Yeah???

Yeah, why not

Wow

Wow?

Gonna be wow

My hair's gonna be wow?

Yes.

You like curls.

They're alright.

You're totally into them.

I like them just fine

Mhm

I'm gonna leave you to study a bit more while I go wash them

Get them nice and clean for the hairdresser's

Uh huh

Do that

I will

Oh, and my shampoo smells of tea tree.

Just thought you might like to know

Since that's your profession now and everything

Thanks

You're welcome.

Mmhm

 

I feel very refreshed but at the same time also very sleepy

Sounds like the perfect level of comfortable for sleep

But it's not that late yet

Does that matter?

I guess not

Do you usually go to bed late?

Sometime between midnight and 2

Oh wow

Well my classes are mostly in the afternoon and I'm not a fan of waking up ridiculously early like some people

It would make your life easier

How

You'd be more awake when I'm awake

And you make my life easier?

It would make my life easier

You don't need me

You've already got great friends

Whoa no

What is that?

The truth

No?

I

I don't need any of my friends any less just because I have other ones. There isn't a friend quota I'm trying to fill.

i shouldn't even count as one

you've only just met me, and maybe i'm new and mildly interesting and entertaining right now, but that won't last

you have friends that you'd die for. i could never fit into something like that.

Where is this even

Okay, I'm probably going to explain so badly, but I'm going to try

just forget it okay

i'm sorry

No

Please

i should just go to bed

don't bother, okay, it doesn't matter

Just

Have sweet dreams, okay?

sure

you too

Chapter Text

Okay look. When James isn't around, I miss him. There's a James-shaped hole there.  And ALSO there's loneliness. And I can combat the loneliness by inviting Pete over or, like last night, talking to you. And that makes me less LONELY but it doesn't make James there and it doesn't make his absence filled. And when I'm getting ready these past few mornings waiting for you to wake up, I can talk to someone, I can talk to James, but it doesn't make me any less excited when you do text. I do consider you a friend, and maybe that's incredibly stupid but I already asked if it was and you already said it wasn't. I like talking to you. I do have other friends, but you're the only one of my friends who's Remus. I need that.

 

okay

Okay?

i don't really know what to say

Okay

i just feel

I feel like you're becoming friends with this censured version of me. Because there are things about me I can't tell you, at least not yet, and they're not all pretty. And I know you're a good person, but I can't expect you to still want me in your life after you find out the truth, nor can I blame you for that. But fuck, it's gonna hurt. I already like you so much that I'm genuinely upset about going to sleep early because it means I have to stop talking to you, and I'm afraid to even think about what it's going to be like later on, what this is gonna grow into. How you're gonna get hurt too. How it's gonna be my fault.

Do you want to stop talking to me?

No.

No, I really, really don't.

Then

Tell me something. Trade me something. It doesn't have to be your worst, but tell me something you're afraid to tell me and I'll tell you something in return.

I have scars. I can't tell you how I got them, but they're all over my body; on my chest, on my arms, on my back, on my legs. Across my face. They're not pretty to look at or feel nice to touch, and I've tried to cover the worst of them with tattoos, but that doesn't really do much else than draw even more attention to them.

Okay

You have scars

Okay

Take your time to process

No?

I'm done processing, no need. You have scars. Okay. That is okay with me. I am not offended by your scars.

Easy to say over text

I cannot imagine liking you any less because of a physical deformity or abnormality.

Okay

Your turn, then.

I think I was once a tormenter

In what way?

We, James, Pete and I, we used to give this one kid a really bad time in school. And I mean, he was a right arse, slimy little bigot, and he gave us as good as he got, but he's not the point. I am. It was wrong and awful what we did but we did it.

What's the worst thing that you did to him?

We humiliated him

In front of a lot of people

He'd called Lily a name and we

It was bad

Okay

It wasn't, and it happened.

Can you still be friends with a person like that?

I can

Really?

So you have scars and I'm a bully

And we're still talking

Really. Because I know what I was like when I was younger, and if I had the friends you have and someone had  been a jerk to them... I don't think I'd do anything that drastic, but I definitely wouldn't stop you from doing it, and that's just as bad.

We're still talking.

He didn't always start it

I got that. And I'm not trying to excuse your actions, and I definitely think you should feel bad about it. But that's just it, you feel bad about it, and for the right reasons, which makes me believe you've grown and you wouldn't do things like that anymore.

Of course I wouldn't

Well then I can accept that for what it is, a part of your past.

Yeah

So I have scars and you were a bully.

And we're still talking.

We are

I really don't want to hurt you, Sirius. I don't want to be that person.

Then don't

It's not that simple.

How could you hurt me?

Be as non specific as you need to, but what are you worried is going to happen?

There's no way to be unspecific about it

And you really really can't be specific?

I can't, I'm sorry

I just want to ease your worry

I know

I won't let you hurt me

It doesn't really all depend on you

No.

I control me. If I say I won't get hurt I won't.

You know that's not how it works

Don't.

I'm an adult. I can take care of myself and I don't need people to protect me from my own decisions.

That's not how I meant it, that's not what this is about

It feels like it is

I know we're still talking, but it still feels like you're going to pull away at any minute and say it's for my own good

It probably would be

But I won't.

I don't want to and I won't.

Swear?

I promise.

Thank you

I've never felt this selfish before

You're not

I am

I don't want you to feel selfish

I'll work on it

There's nothing you can tell me?

I'm sorry

I'll stop asking. I am too

I

I'm not a bad person, I'm not, I just

You don't have to explain yourself to me

I already believe you're not a bad person

Okay

And I will tell you. Just not yet.

You will?

Yes.

Okay

Thank you.

Good morning, by the way

Good morning. Tea?

Are you offering???

Asking what you'd like so that I know what to have

Something herbal

Hibiscus, chamomile, elderberry, or mint?

This morning, hibiscus

Good choice

Thank you, thank you

You on your way to work?

On my way out the door now

Text me when you're done?

Believe me, I will

Okay. Good.

Have a nice day


I diiiiiiiiiid

Hands smell as nice as yesterday?

Almost

I played with less of the lotion

Played with other things instead?

Colours

They let me play with colours

Was it magical

It was magical.

Well I'm glad one of us had a good day

Oh no what happened?

How about rather than me bringing your mood down, you bring mine up by telling me something nicer instead?

I practiced on myself and so there's two shades of blue on my eyes and shimmery purple on my lips, I think that's nice

That definitely counts as nice

Right?

I'm vibrant

Would love to see it

Oh I bet

It would really cheer me up

fuck

So now you know one more piercing

Uh huh I did not miss that

Already added it to my list

So observant

Mock me all you want I don't care my heart fucking stopped when I opened that

Oh?

I didn't really expect you to send anything at all, let alone that

You said it would cheer you up, of course I sent it

Of course you did

Did it work?

Very much so.

Thank you

Anytime

 

Oh yummy

I decided I deserved it

I agree, you do

It may already be my second one

Does it look larger in the picture than it is in real life?

No?

It's like half a pint

Wow

It's not that much

Enjoy it

Eh

Only eh?

It's delicious, it's just hard to enjoy food alone

Ahh I get that

Yeah

Well now you're having it with me

I asked for another straw, but they wouldn't give it to me, so we'll have to share mine

I don't have any communicable diseases, I promise

All good then

Thank you

For what?

Sharing, obviously

Anytime

You're the best

No, I'm pretty sure that's you

Switch that around a bit. Be sure I'm the prettiest.

Oh I already am

Good

Your observation skills are on point today

Weren't earlier

??

I sat next to a jerk in class, and I knew he was a jerk before, but I wasn't paying attention because I was late and I just took the first free seat I saw

And he was polite and left you alone?

Not exactly

Want to talk about it?

He's not exactly original with his insults, so I managed to ignore him for a good long while. But when he started purposely misgendering me and I kindly asked him to leave me alone and take it up with my socks if he has a problem, things turned a bit ugly.

Well, uglier.

Fuuuck that

Take it up with your socks

You are made from the extra special star dust, Remus

What happened then?

Yes, well

Ohmywow

Then I got kicked out of class.

He did too, yes?

Nope

You're kidding

I'm not

That

No.

That is some phobic

What is his name?

Not important

I want to know.

Why

I want to make a call

You want to make a call.

Yes.

And say what?

I don't know yet

Let this be my something irresponsible

No

Please

I'm not going to

I won't be mean

No.

I hate letting it go.

It's not your battle to fight.

So?

I want it, I'm asking for it, I formally request this battle

No.

I don't need you defending me

It's not like that

I can handle it myself

Oh I'm aware of that

You and your socks

Screw you

What no

No, I meant that

I'm sure

Remus no

I just needed you to listen

I needed you to listen and agree that it fucking sucked and that it wasn't fair, and then talk about something else. Because I've already thought about this enough and I don't want my whole day to be about this, I don't want a few bigoted comments from a phobic arsehole to affect my entire mood. He doesn't get to have that. And you don't get to come in and save the day and make yourself feel better and use my situation to do your 'something irresponsible'. Because you're not the one who'll still have to sit in class with him three times a week and suffer the consequences. I told you no, I told you no a few times, and no means no and I need you to listen to that. Listen to it, and hear it, and respect it.

Okay

I'm sorry

I get where you were coming from, and I appreciate it, I do. I just don't like people pushing me aside and handling my problems in the way they see fit without taking into consideration what I want or even entertaining the idea that maybe I know what's best for me, not them.

I never meant it like that

I never intended to defend you or whatever

I hate letting people like that just go about their lives

Because you CAN defend yourself but the next kid they do it to might not be able to. And it's not your responsibility to defend yourself on behalf of that next kid, but I can't stand knowing about it and just sitting on it

And what exactly would you have me do

Nothing

I don't know

You said no and I pushed and I'm really really damn sorry

It's fine

Doesn't feel okay

Doesn't on this side either

I'm sorry you had a bad day

I'm sorry I made it worse when I meant to make it better

I'm sorry I ruined your good one

You didn't

Thank you for wanting to help

Thank you for putting up with me and all of my issues

It doesn't feel like putting-up-with

Thank you for that too

When do you have that class again?

Monday

Wear good socks

1, I always wear good socks

2, I'm not going to that class

Skiving? A nerd like you?

Don't worry, we'll come back to the sock comment

I have better things to do for those 90 minutes

Like?

Like covering a car with post-it notes

What?

I'm going to put post-it notes over the entirety of his car

That's

One way of doing it

There's a slight twist to it, but you can't know about that part

What why??

Technically because it's illegal

Then I must know

Iiiiii really cannot tell you

Will I get to know afterwards?

Also no

So I just live in suspense forever???

Pretty much, yes

That's awful

Maybe I'll tell you one day

Comforting

Sorry

You can have another 100% honest question if you want, to make up for that

Hmmmm okay

Tell me something that always makes you smile

Blowing bubbles

Awww

Like with gum or with soap?

Soap

I don't like gum

Noted

What about you?

Dunno

Lots of stuff

Okay, what was the last one?

Finishing a painting.

I imagine that's very satisfying

It is

It also means I need an address

Oh!

You finished my painting!

Yes I did

Okay well there's no way for this to end badly

7 Willow Road
SA11 5NJ Ystradfellte
Wales

Excellent thank you!

I'll see you in ten minutes.

Cool, I'll put the kettle on

Chamomile please

You got it

Mmm

Are you happy with how it turned out?

I think

I am

Good

Maybe

Don't go doubting yourself now

I'm not, I'm not

Good. I'm sure it's great.

Now, how much?

You'll tell me when you get it

This won't end well

Probably not

So can you just tell me

No

Because I don't want you to pay at all

Well that's not gonna happen

Exactly, so I see no other way

So now I get to decide between making you feel guilty by paying too much, or offending you by paying too little. Excellent.

How much money is in your pocket right this very instant?

25 pounds and a few k

coins

Right. Well whatever that adds up to, that's a million pounds right there. Adjust to scale as you see fit for the piece.

I should think of my 25 pounds as a million pounds?

Yes

You're ridiculous

Okay

So I've been told

In the best way

That I've been told less

Well you should be told more

Starting now is good enough for me

You signed it, right?

Sort of

Sort of?

I left my mark

Well that's okay then, as long as you leave the same one on all your future works

Yes

Can't believe you actually did it

Welllll of course I did

Of course you did

Yeah

I'm amazed by you as a person

I'm pretty fascinating

Oh yeah? Tell me more

I am brilliantly modest. Possibly the most humble person in the entire world.

Uh huh

Wanna see a cool trick?

Sure, blow me away

:-)

Turn your phone sideways

That's

That's your cool trick?

James figured it out

There's a bunch

;-)

:-D

:-(

James figured it out. James discovered smiley faces.

Clever little phone smiley faces!

I hate to break your spirit, little star, but James did not invent smiley faces

What do you mean?

I mean everyone already knows about this

Everyone?

Well apparently it's possible that some people don't

But yes, everyone

Okay but what about this one

<3

It's a little heart!

Everyone knows that one too

Damnit

Sorry

I thought they were so cute

Oh you have so much to learn

Teach me

Nah, this is way more entertaining for me

Nooooooo

Yes

So mean

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

WHOA WHAT

There's a long way ahead of you, young padawan

Oookay

Seriously though, what did they teach you in school

You learned phone smilies in school?

No...

Well neither did I

Right, but you

Never mind

I what?

Nothing, I already said I won't question your lack of this kind of knowledge

Thank you

I didn't know certain things before I got to high school either, so. Yeah.

Like what?

Like social cues

Funny

Had those railed into me by the time I made it to age 5

So not really funny at all.

Really not.

I'm sorry

Me too

I want to tell you social cues are overrated anyway, but I get the feeling you have a very different perspective on that

Yeah. Thanks, though.

I'm sorry

It's alright

It's kind of one of the reasons I like talking to you

What is?

Well it's not like there aren't social cues in texting. Like you don't use formal salutations, for instance, which you quickly taught me. But the cues are completely different than anything I was forced to learn as a kid. I like learning these, I like figuring out how to communicate more clearly with you. It's just so different than the things I've spent so many years trying to unlearn.

You're a fast learner

Thanks

I really like talking to you.

It's

It comes unusually easy most of the time. Not really used to that.

It does

I don't talk to anyone else this much.

I definitely don't text anyone else this much

Should probably go to bed

Probably

I don't want to

Me neither

Tell me something else about you

Like?

Like when did you start drawing

Third year in school

Never knew I could before, no one ever let me, let alone showed me how. Until James and Peter and I needed someone to draw something and it came out really good

What was it?

Our best kept secret.

Oookay

Sorry

That's alright

Thanks

Yeah, of course

Secrets are secrets

Your turn, tell me one thing before sleep

Like?

When was the last time you blew bubbles?

I

Hm.

I don't remember

Must've been last summer or something

Was it nice?

I don't have any memories of it not being nice

Fair enough

Goodnight, Sirius

Goodnight, Remus



***

 

Good morning, Sirius

Good morning, Dirty Nerd

Tea?

Well I never got that chamomile

Hmm okay

Thank you

That doesn't make much sense

True.

How long have you been up for?

Two hours

Are you at least still in bed?

Would you feel better about it if I said yes?

Yes

Then sure

And what are you actually doing?

Laundry

...I'm going back to sleep

Noooooo

You're being gross

It's clean laundry! How is that gross???

You're doing it voluntarily at 8am in the morning.

Would you rather I do it after lunch?

Yes

Okay

Okay?

Okay I'll stop

I'm no longer doing laundry

You

You don't have to do that

Well it seemed to bother you

Well I definitely don't approve of it, but that's hardly a reason to stop

That's all the reasons

You're being ridiculous again

I do that sometimes

Pretty often

It's my specialty

I quite like it

Why thank you

Mhm

So should I assume you have not left bed?

Well I got up to make tea, but I'm back now, yes

Do you do that a lot?

Pretty much every day

How?

What do you mean how

How do you just stay in bed?

Tell me if it's an insensitive question

How do you not??

I'd go mad

It's nice and warm and cosy

So lonely though, and too quiet

Beats the rest of the house

I suppose

You have your best friend living with you. I have a father who hates me and works from home most of the time.

I know

I mean I don't

But I'm sorry

I just

I feel the most safe and comfortable in my room so that's where I spend most of my time.

That's good

Yeah

And kind of cute

Cute?

Yes

How is that cute?

Sleepy Remus, cozy Remus

I do have my softest pyjamas on

How soft?

Very very soft

Sounds nice

It is

M

What even

Those socks

Are also very soft, yes

And warm

I'd probably stay in bed too

Nah, you've got a job to get to

Not today I don't

How come?

Wait

What day is it

Saturday

I haven't been trained for weekends yet

Saturday

It's Saturday

Yes?

...I'm going back to sleep

Really???

Yeah, go finish doing your laundry

Wait really really??????

Yes

 

Ughhhhh waiting is agony

 

Are you still sleeping?

I'll take that as a yes

 

How about now?

 

How about now?

 

Remuuuuuus

 

Wake uuuuup

Wake up wake up wake up

 

Remus it is NOON

What are you DOING????

 

You're wasting all of your awake time

I'm growing older awaiting your return

 

I miss youuuu

 

Wake up

 

You'd be growing older anyway, that's just how time works

Yes but now I'm growing old with you! Awwww so nice

Hi

How was ALL the sleep?

Hi, it was wonderful, thanks for asking

Good

So what did you do during ALL this time?

Finished laundry went for a walk got lunch

Oh that's not that much, I can catch up

You can catch up?

I can have lunch and think about what it would be like to take a walk

You're fascinating

Rather boring, actually

Well that's a matter of opinion

I suppose

What are you imagining when you imagine taking a walk?

Walking to the nearest pretty tree and sitting down with a book

Even in your taking a walk fantasies you're sitting down

It's my second favourite position to be in

Second favourite?

Yeah, lying is obviously the best?

And they say I'm ridiculous

Because you are

You too

Never denied it

This place never ceases to amaze me

I'm missing some information here

I'm just sitting at this cafe watching the people

And...?

And they're all just going about their days

And that's amazing?

Yes

May I ask why you find this so very amazing?

Dunno, the way they all do things

Different than how I grew up

Ahh, okay

Yeah

Pick one and make up a story about their life

Ooooh yes

 

...and share it with me

Oh

Okay

I mean you don't have to if you don't want to

Okay so there's a woman who hasn't put her mobile down the entire time she's been in here and I saw the barista give her a Look, like she was being rude

But what HE doesn't know is that she's on the phone with her father, who's just come out of a fifteen year coma, and her airplane flight to see him doesn't leave until tonight and she doesn't want to stop talking to him until she absolutely has to, so she's going to stay on that phone until the last second.

Awww

Why was he in a coma?

He fell out a window.

Fell or was pushed??

Oh heavens, was he pushed?? Do you know something about this????

Maybe

What happened?????

He was mistaken for his twin brother, who's a crime lord

Whoa

I know

Should I tell her??

I think you should. She deserves to know.

I'm going to tell her

Do it.

 

He'd agreed to pose as his brother that day, to protect him. The brother went to a safe house and started a new life but is slowly edging back to the life of crime. We're worried it's all going to have been for naught.

Oh nooo

Also she and I are getting dinner later tonight, she's really sweet

Oh

Nice

Very

And it turns out she was talking to her sister, but I think we were close

Glad she found you charming instead of creepy

Oi

I'm always charming

If you say so

I am

I have very endearing eyes

Like I need to be reminded of your eyes

My eyes are just fine, don't be mean

Your eyes are not ˝just fine˝

They are too

They're not an entire topographical map of an enchanted forest, but they're alright

That is so far from what I was getting at

Hmph

Your eyes are fucking gorgeous, Sirius

Don't act like you don't know that

No my eyes are grey

I'M gorgeous and it shows in my eyes, but the eyes themselves are just grey.

What, no??

I mean, yes, they’re grey, but they’re not ˝just grey˝. They're beautiful.

Eh

They're the prettiest I've ever seen. And please note that I haven't seen the rest of you, with the exception of your lips, which I refuse to give further comments on.

You refuse?

Yes.

Why?

Because.

Fine, I'll ask this nice lady

You do that. And have fun tonight. I have some school work to get to now.

Oh

Okay

Enjoy that, nerd

Chapter Text

So how did the date go?

And good morning

Date?

Good morning

Dinner

Oh!

That was very much not a date?

It wasn't?

It was really nice though, we spent most of the night playing your game and making up stories about the people around us.

Definitely definitely no

Oh

Well I'm glad it was nice.

I don't date much

And I've never tried dating a girl

May I ask why not?

I just don't tend to find myself romantically attracted to women, I suppose

I meant why you don't date

Oh that

Uh dunno

I just think I'm a lot

And I'm unwilling to do the coy mysterious thing I think most people do when they start dating, where they hide all their quirks and bad habits and pretend to be normal

I don't think you're a lot.

To be fair, there is that whole never-met-me-physically thing. I've never seen your scars and you've never had to put up with what James kindly explains as me "being passionate about everything"

I'm aware of that

It's just a lot for most guys, I think

Won't be for the right one

Hah sure

Want me to drop it?

Oh I don't mind talking about it, it's just talking about it never makes me any more hopeful

I'd rather drop it then

That's fine

Tea?

Black

Earl grey, lady grey, or darjeeling?

Lady grey

The only edible thing with oranges in it

You're so prejudiced against oranges!

I am, I admit it

And unwilling to change

Tut tut

Yep

The worst

I'm the worst?

The best worst but yes

I'll take it

Good

Oh M

My god

Ughhhhh

...my mum says hi.

What???

Hi mum!

What???

We're having breakfast and she said to either put my phone away or tell her who I'm talking to so I told her and she said I have to tell you hi.

Tell her it's really nice to meet her

No

You're not doing this

You're not gonna bond with my mum

Remus, you tell her, you tell her right now

Will not

Remus!

Sirius!

I have not yet been to the post office, I will hold your fruit bowl hostage until you exchange my pleasantries with your mother!

Fine fine fine

Pronouns today?

Yaaaay

He, today please

"Sirius says hi back. He also wants you to know he thinks your profession is a joke."

NO

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

I don't think her profession is a jooooke

"No, wait, I got it wrong, sorry. He doesn't think your profession is a joke, he thinks it shouldn't even be classified as a profession."

That is not what I said ever!

"Yes, I agree, that is rather rude of him."

I'm going to write her a letter.

˝He says he's gonna start stalking you now.˝

Stop ruining my chances!

Your chances for what exactly?

My check list

Your check list?

Yes my check list of people that have to like me

So far it's your mum and Alice and if this doesn't go well that gives me AT MOST a 50% success rate

Oh, Alice already doesn't like you

But I haven't actually tried to win her over yet

Good luck with that

I'll have them both in time

˝Mum he doesn't actually care about you, he just wants you as some kind of a trophy...yes I don't understand either.˝

Stop helping!

Why is it important that they like you anyway?

Because

It's important

Why?

Because they're important to you

She likes you, you can calm down

Does sheeee?

Well she said so

Personally I don't get it

Oi

I like you too, Sirius.

Good okay

I have to go now, Sundays are kind of our days, but I'll text you before bed?

Okay

Enjoy your Sunday

You too.

I will


How did you spend it?

At Wormy's

You?

Gardening

You garden?

*Keeping mum company while she gardened

Of course she gardens, she's a gardening chef

Your mum is the stuff of fairytales

What does she grow?

Everything

Eeeeverything?

Everything. It's a huge garden.

Cacti

Yes

?????

Bananas.

Yes

How???!

Magic

Hahaha

Cannabis

Not anymore

Beautiful

What did you four (?) do?

Two, James had practice and Lily was with friends

We watched films

Sounds nice. Practice?

Sports

Yeah, I figured that much, but which sport?

Foot ball.

I'm not sure there's an answer to that which I'd find acceptable, but football is especially bad

But don't tell him I said that

After your mum this morning?! Of course I'm going to tell him!

Noooo

You just wait until he gets home, young man

That's not fair!

It's exactly fair!

Is not!

How so?

Mum saw all my texts, she knew what was really being said

You showed people our private conversations?!?!!?

No, I just let mum read over my shoulder this morning

That's the same thing!

Would you rather that I'd have just let her believe you were saying all those things?

No

Well then

Still telling James

Fine

:-P

That one has a little tongue

Thank you for explaining

You're welcome

It's so hard to make fun of you when you're genuinely excited about learning new things

How do you mean?

I mean I'm finding you explaining this very cute

Your thank you was sarcastic, wasn't it?

Yes

Damnit

Question before sleep?

Yes

Best birthday?

Easy, first one at

The school I went to

I never found out how they figured out when it was and they won't tell me to this day. My family wasn't very big on birthdays so it didn't occur to me to be excited about them, or really even acknowledge them. But my first birthday at school Peter and James threw me a huge party, well it seemed huge to an eleven year old with no basis for comparison, with presents and a cake they'd stolen and everything

They stole a cake?

From the kitchens yes

That's...sweet

It was

And the kitchen staff was very accommodating, it wasn't real thievery

When is it?

November

I don't get the exact date? Do I have to somehow figure it out on my own like James and Peter did?

Hmmmm yup

Good thing I still have months to do it

True

And you?

You already know it's March

Yes but what was your best birthday?

Oh

11th

Why?

I'm not telling you, you're just gonna call me a nerd again

Pleeeeaaaaase

I got an acceptance letter from the school.

And a really good chocolate cake

That is

I don't know what to say

Most people would probably go for 'extremely pathetic' or 'kind of sad', but I vote you stick with the nerd thing

You're an incredible nerd

Mhm

I'm switching your contact name again

To incredible nerd?

Yes

You've been incredible far more frequently than you've been dirty

I should work on that

You probably should

Maybe I'll have a dirty dream

I wish you all the dirty dreams

Thank you

And some sweet ones too

A combination would be nice

Mm true

Goodnight, incredible nerd

Night, pretty eyes

 

***

 

So I didn't have any dirty dreams, but I did get off in the shower

W

Excuse

F what

The water pressure in my shower head is excellent

I

I'm glad

Mhm, me too. Tea?

What

Tea, what kind?

Um

Hibiscus?

Mmmkay

Okay

Shouldn't you be on your way to work by now?

Oh

Fuck

Right

I'll text you later

Looking forward to it


I survived my first day of not actual training

Congrats!! Tell me more while I finish this up

What are you finishing?

???????

oh m

You did not

I did

Originally the plan was to make a rainbow, but then I really really liked all the colourful post-its which I never normally buy, so I decided to keep them for myself and he can have the plain ones. Doesn't deserve colours anyway to be honest

Really he doesn't

I'm so

So impressed

And you don't even get to know the really good part

Why won't you tell me??!?

Can't

I'm so curious it hurts

Sorryyyy

Whyyyyyyy

Shhh here he comes

That makes no sense!

Shhhh

.....

okay

He's so confused

Okay now he's getting angry

Take one off take one off take one off

Yessssss

Take another take another take another

Oh this is beautiful to watch

I am so happy this is happening

He's so pissed, I love it

Muttering to himself

And more and more confused

Oh, now he's yelling, okay

What did you do???

˝Who the fuck is Mr Moony?!˝ oh M

my god

The thing is he's a jerk to so many people, anyone could've done this and it would make sense

Oh beautiful

Other people are gathering around

Someone tried to help and took one off and said ˝oh what a charming note˝ I'm dying

But what do they say???

Weeeell that all depends on who's reading them

But you saw them, they're blank

Sort of

What does that mean???

Like I said, maybe I'll tell you one day

Hmph

Tell me about your day, grumpy

Well my very first customer was this older woman who loved my hair and wanted a tour of the entire store. So that happened for an hour

Wow, okay

She was wonderful

I'm glad

I hope she comes back

I'm sure she will

Well she bought enough stuff that she really doesn't need to for quite a while

She'll be back

You're so sure?

Yes

Well I trust your judgement

Good

Oh! James is home

You're in trouuuuublllllllle

Ughhh I thought you told him last night

Trollop he is he never came home

Why did he have to now

Cause he misses me when he's away

Well shite, what am I supposed to say when you answer like that

"Or maybe he just needs his tooth brush"

Okay, good one, but no, that sounds too much like that arsehole part of your brain trying to convince you people don't actually care.

I would agree if it were anyone but James

Tell me more about you two

That's too broad, I need questions

I don't know what to ask, I don't know what it's like to have someone like that

Well

I don't know what it's like to not

I think we have abnormal boundaries? Or an abnormal lack thereof? It's just what's natural for us, and then every once in awhile we get an off look or someone says something and I have to remember that that's not necessarily typical behaviour of best friends

Example?

Like if we're in a room and he's sitting on the sofa and I have the option of sitting a) next to him, b) across the sofa, or c) in a chair somewhere else in the room, 10/10 times I will sit in his lap.

Hah

That's wonderful

It's fine when we're home, but we get curious looks in public for things like that and the kissing and everything.

Those are just the normal "Oh, a queer couple" looks though

People love assuming things.

Oh how they do

Sorry that I did

The other day, about the dinner

Oh no, don't worry about it

It wasn't offensive or anything

Still

No, really

It didn't even have a twinge of bad feeling in it

Okay.

Ooooooh he's maaaad

Nooo

He wants to taaaalk to youuu

M

God, okay

Answer me some questions

Ask away

1. How DARE you?
2. Did you actually say that or is he using you as a cover?
3. HOW dare YOU

I've thought about it and I stand by what I said.

You did say it?!

Yes, football is a terrible sport.

Football

Right, yes, football, football is my life, how can you say that???

What do YOU like, then?

Maybe qu

questions like that should be avoided

I’m not a big sports person.

I am personally offended

Explain to me what's so good about football

Well

You know

The

I can't, it's my life, I'm too close to the subject

Well you've convinced me, I see what a wonderful thing it is now

Have you ever played a team sport?

Not voluntarily

Half of it is the fun of the game, sure, but half of it is the team. Spending several hours a day, several days a week getting to know people who you could honestly consider friends, celebrating wins together, commiserating losses, supporting each other. And even if you're all completely different people, you have this one thing in common, one point you all agree on, and there's never a loss for what to talk about and nobody judges you for your passion, in fact they embrace it and encourage it.

Okay

Okay I hear what you're saying

But

The point you agree on is getting a ball into a net.

I mean we agree on football in general, supporting teams outside our little one, being passionate about the sport itself

It's just such a boring sport??

"It's boring" is not a valid argument against someone who enjoys something so genuinely

Alright, that's fair.

Aha

I'm not judging you for liking it, but I'm going to continue thinking it's the worst

Ugh fine

Here, have your boyfriend back

What

Ignore him he's rude

Sorry

Did he rail you about the importance of statistics? Because I get that speech once a week or so

Nope, it was all about passion and love

He's rude and gross

I agree

Just facts

Give him back for a second?

Oh fine

Did I change your mind???

Yes, I love football now

Good you should

...anyway,

Sirius would really really really like for you to make him a nice, big, kale smoothie. Not sure why he's doesn't want to ask you himself, but he went on and on about how good they are earlier. I think he just doesn't want to admit to you that he likes them after denying it for so long.

I fucking knew it

Don't go telling him about it, okay?

Be the bigger person.

They keep disappearing when I leave the flat, I KNEW he was drinking them

He loves them.

Thank you for telling me

You're welcome, I thought you deserved to know.

I do.

Want him back?

Yes, please.

Did you tell him you like football? He's smirking like an idiot now

I told him I love it

Kiss arse

Don't say it.

I won't say it

Though I'm sure he has a nice one what with all that running around

It's fine

Fine or fiiiiiine

It's

Fine, fine, he has a great arse, but mine's still cuter okay? Okay.

If you say sooo

It is okay???

Okaaay

It is and it's all me, I don't spend every hour of free time playing qfootball, this tone is all Sirius

Mmmhm

Ask anybody

Fine, give me James again

Really????

You said to ask anyone and he's the only one who's available to give his opinion right now

So, yes, really

He's spent most of this evening with my phone

Heeeeeere

I haven't said anything, I swear

I believe you

I just have a quick question

Yes?

Sirius claims to have the better arse between the two of you, is this true?

Oh please

I'll take that as a no

Well I guess it depends on what you're looking for in an arse

We were just discussing which one would be better to kiss

Well mine is muscley and probably delicious, because let's be honest, I'm delicious

Would your girlfriend be willing to confirm this?

I should hope so

Hmm okay. But Sirius' is definitely also very cute, right?

His is only better if you prefer soft and curvy

Sounds comfy

Comfy, yes, but the important thing is kissability

Well we'll just have to wait and see about that later

I beg pardon??

Don't go around calling people boyfriends if you're not ready for comments like that

Who even are you???

I'm Remus, nice to meet you

So do you kiss lots of arses, Remus or just your boyfriends', if that's the case?

Nah, I can't say I do

Then what is your basis if comparison?

Don't have one, that's why I'll withhold my judgement for now

Hmmmmm

Hey, um

This is fun and all, but could you possibly put Sirius back on?

Please

As long as you realize I am going to refer to you exclusively as "the boyfriend" for the rest of forever.

Even once Sirius gets one?

Probably more then

It'll be confusing and great

You sure know how to have good fun

I'm great

So I've heard

Awwwww does he talk about me

Okay okay okay

He's getting antsy you take him

Did he tell you about how kissable my arse is?

Does he like me?

I get what you meant yesterday now, about needing people I like to like you.

I don't think he likes me.

Oh he does, he's James, he likes everyone

That's not exactly reassuring

Well he's really into your conversations when he's HOGGING MY PHONE TO TEXT YOU

Just

Okay.

Just?

Just who even am I

What?

He asked who even am I, and my first thought was ˝no one˝

And I know we've talked about this, and you've said we're friends and stuff, but I just don't get it

You're there with him right now and you're wasting your time texting me? Why

You are very much not no one

And I'm wasting both of yours

I'm not wasting anything on you, it's well spent

It doesn't make sense

Is the only reason you're bothering with me that you have no one else to talk to?

What

No

If you had friends that were always around would you not?

Of course I would

But that's different

How?

Because you're you and I'm me

That doesn't make sense

You wanting to talk to me doesn't

But I like talking to you

Why

Because you're

I dunno

Engaging. Interesting. Snarky and funny and cute and incredibly nerdy

i'm not

i shouldn't have friends

i'm dangerous

i don't deserve friends

You what?

Remus where does that thought even come from?

it's true

How?

How are you dangerous?

i cant tell you

Okay so you're dangerous

Am I in danger right now? Talking to you? Is something bad going to happen to me because I'm talking to you?

no

Then I want to be your friend

And you don't not deserve that

i dont

Why do you think that?

im a monster

Not to be presumptuous, I know I don't know your whole life, but you're not a monster

You're a fuzzy socks wearing, post-it-note bombarding, freckley nerd who just wants someone to listen. And I know that's not all you are, but it is part of who you are and none of that is monstrous

Whatever you may be, you are not all monster.

you'll change your mind

I won't

im not worth it

Let me decide that for myself

Please

i already promised that

You did

But it seems like you're trying to convince me again

I like you. I'm not trying to dismiss your faults, I just genuinely like you and I want to be allowed to like you

okay

Is it?

i'm sorry

i'm sorry i get like this all the time

Hey no

Don't apologize

i don't actually own that many fuzzy socks

You own at least two great pairs of socks

no, they'll all great, i know that

there's just not that many fuzzy ones

Well excuse me

Oh m y god

Those are adorable

thanks

I love them

thank you

For everything

No need for that

I might try going to sleep

If you must

Questions first

Oh!

You go first this time

I went first yesterday

Exactly, you're clever

Who's the arse kisser now

I like kisses, can't argue that

Tell me about your first one?

Oh boring, that was Prongs

Should've known

Just tell me about A kiss then, a really good one

Or

You could tell me

I was 16. He was perfect. We ditched gym class. It was still too cold to be lying in the grass, but we did anyway. Looked at the clouds, making shapes. And he took my hand, and I turned to face him, and he nodded, and I kissed him.

Wow

That sounds so nice

It was

I want that

Me too.

I haven't had a lot of really good kisses

That was my only one

But it sounds like a really nice one

Yeah

What is it like?

I've heard from Prongs but that's just Lily

For me it was like time stopped for a while. Everything else too, none of it mattered, just our lips.

Mmm pretty

I'll let that be the end of the story.

Is there more of it?

Just the sad part

You don't have to say

Okay.

Goodnight, then

Oh

Okay

Goodnight

Chapter Text

Okay it's 5am, you can't possibly be awake right now, right?

Good morning

Jesus fucking christ

No, it's not morning yet, it's the middle of the night

It's been the morning for several hours

No that's not how it works

Not how you work

I don't work at all at this time, I just got up to go to the loo

Goodnight

Nooooo come back

 

Come baaaack

 

Hmph.

 

I'm back

Oh hiiiiiiiiii

Thank you for gracing us with your presence FINALLY

Hello

Good morning, sleeping beauty-full freckles

Uh huh sure

I'll think of something better later

Maybe more accurate

Oh that was plenty accurate

Tea?

Hmmmmm

Have earl?

I do

Let's go with that

Okay

What are you putting in it?

Uhh nothing, I can't be bothered

Just plain earl grey?

Yeah

Remus Shoulder Freckles Lupin, you need to get your life together

No thanks

What does today look like?

Like hell

Why?

Group project

Ooooh fun!

No.

But fun

??? No

Group things are great, you get to only do part of the work and collaborating is fun

You're one of those people.

Oh noooo you're the kid that asks the professor if they can work alone, aren't you?

Well I guess this is it then, we really can't be friends.

No

Because when the professor says "no, go find a group" I'm the girl that comes over and sits with you and tries to make it as unstressful of an experience as possible for you

Yeah?

Yes

There's an alternate universe out there somewhere where we meet via group project

And you actually do your work and do it well and on time?

Group projects only work in the fun way if everyone actually does what they're supposed to

I have yet to experience that

Maybe this time

Ew, an optimist

Ugh a pessimist

Not really, though

Good

You've got work?

Yesssss

Mgod, you're such a puppy

I like it!

I can see that!

Are you making fun of me?

Just a tiny bit, and not in a bad way. Your excitement is terribly endearing

Hmmmmm

I really never mean it in a bad way.

Oh I know

Couldn't bring me down anyway

Good.

i

okay

just a minute please

Oh okay, take your time

So

I see it's a skirt day.

It is!

I'm really really really glad to see that

I mean I like not-skirt days just as much as skirt days, I was just really looking forward to this

It looks fantastic

Why thank you

You're so very welcome

Tell me all about your group project while I'm gone

Well I don't know anything yet but sure, I can keep you posted



 

"No, Ms Lupin, find a group." Great start.

 

Okay some girls who borrow notes from me sometimes took pity on me

They're nice, so that's good, but they also don't tend to take things seriously

 

Ughhh we don't even get to pick our own theme

 

Oh sweet Merlin and Agrippa

"The History of Witchcraft"

This should be fun.

 

 

You have to do a group project about the history of witchcraft?

Correct.

That's

Interesting

Mhm

What are you going to do exactly?

You know, I think I might take a back seat on this one, actually

Really?

Really????

You? The Nerd nerd?

Yep

I already know a lot on the subject, the research wouldn't be all that interesting

So I might just sit back and have fun watching what the others will come up with

That sounds like it could get so offensive so fast

I'll go over everything at the end and fix it

Thank you

Thank me?

Yeah

Why?

It's important

I agree

That means more to me than I could say

Sirius

Yeah?

Are you

What?

Did you have a good day at work?

Oh yes!

It's all starting to become less new-fascinating more familiar-fascinating

How many compliments on your outfit?

Remus

Yeah?

I felt good about it. More times than I felt bad about it.

So many compliments

That's wonderful

It is

You definitely deserve them

Awww thank you

Yours are best

I don't know about that, but they are sincere

Exactly




You still up?

Yeah

You okay?

Not particularly

Can I ask?

Just a headache

Ouch, I'm sorry

It's alright, it’ll go away eventually

Is that all?

Is that not enough?

It is, I didn't mean it like that

I know, I'm sorry

Don't be

If texting is making it worse, I'll understand

No

It's not, no.

Okay

You stopped for awhile, so I wasn't sure

Sorry

Again, nothing to be sorry about, I just want to know you're alright

I will be

Okay

It's always okay to text you?

Yes

Okay

Always always

Okay okay

Good good

Thank you thank you

I don't know about you, but I don't think my attention span can keep that up

Tell me about the rest of your day then

Well I did get upset with this one guy for being a condescending prick

I'm listening

I was at a little nearby cafe on break and the guy behind me was going on and on about "kids being impulsive because they feel invincible"

It was gross

Did you accidentally spill coffee on him

Tea.

...really??

And not by accident

Didn't bother at all making it look like an accident

Well, you couldn't really help it, it was an impulsive decision, you felt invincible

No, I made it very clear that it wasn't

I don't remember exactly what I said while I was pouring Earl Grey onto his shoes, but it was something like "Please be clear that this is not a decision that comes as a result of feeling invincible. I have thought through this action very carefully. My impulsivity comes from the knowledge that everything is impermanent, including me, and I could be gone tomorrow, so I can't waste an opportunity today. Right now that opportunity is making sure you don't forget this moment ten minutes from now. They've been calling your order for the last two minutes, you should probably go fetch that." And then I offered to clean the floor but the girl at the counter wouldn't let me. And she said my next Earl is on her.

I love everything about that

I probably missed some things but that's the gist

Did he say anything back?

Oh he did not. He got his whatever-he'd-ordered and left

Good

I thought of you.

Of me?

Yes

What would Incredibly Dirty Nerd do?

That's your name in my phone, by the way

I tried to think of what the post-it-note equivalent act of passive aggression would be for the situation

I'm flattered

Though I'm not sure I can agree with the name

How so?

The shower is a very clean space

Oh good, we're talking about it again

Well you keep bringing it up

I do not!

I just told you what your name was in my mobile!

Do you know, I couldn't say the word "shower" without losing my train of thought the whole day yesterday?

I WORK IN A SHOP THAT NEARLY EXCLUSIVELY SELLS SHOWER PRODUCTS, REMUS

Awww you thought about me

That's not the point

I think it is

It's not

It so is though

When you said you

Oh m never mind

It's late it's getting so late, when did it get so late?

It's not that late, little star

Well you know me, always tucking in early

Mhm, okay then, have a good night

And maybe since you've thought about me so much, next time I'll think of you

Jjkmnm

Sweet dreams ;)

That one's winking

Ii see that

Thanks

Wait

Wait

Yes?

We didn't do questions

Oh!

Well go ahead

Oh I had one

I know I had one

Take your time

Okay

Oh!

Who is Mr. Moony?

It was among a lot of the other things you said that didn't make sense about the post-it event

Oh

Well I didn't exactly want to sign my name

Whose name did you sign?

It's just something I made up

So you named yourself Mr. Moony

No, it's far worse than that

What???

When I was little and there was a

When I got scared

I'd sometimes pretend I wasn't me

Because if I wasn't me, nothing bad could happen

Oh

So I was Moony

What was Moony like?

Brave

Would it

Do you mind if I change your contact name to that?

You want to start calling me Moony?

Well

Yes

I think it worked, Remus, I think you grew up to be Moony

It suits you. You are brave.

I'm

Okay

Are you sure?

If it's not, that's fine, too

No, it is, it's okay

It's not the first time I've used it

Then you are hereby Moony, Incredibly Dirty Nerd.

We can't just go with Moony?

Your contact is just Moony, but the subtext remains in my brain.

That seems fair

I think so

Your question?

Waffles or pancakes?

Waffles.

Correct

Awww

And yum

No judgement that I'm eating waffles at half eleven?

I'm learning not to underestimate your strangeness

Appreciated.

Is this late dinner or early breakfast?

It's a midnight snack

You

Nope

Nope

I said I wasn't going to underestimate you

Just be proud of me that I made them without burning the house down

Both proud and grateful

Sleep now?

Oh

Sure

Yes

Okay

Goodnight Moony

Goodnight

Chapter Text

Mum picked the tea today, green 

It'll do

She's not letting me put any sugar in it

Good????

Why would you try?????

Because it's 276% better that way

Absolutely not

Midnight waffles I will accept. Sugar in green tea I can't abide.

Ughhh you two are the worst

Oh no, Pumpkin, we're not the worst. The one trying to put sugar in his perfectly good green tea is definitely the worst.

Pumpkin?

Like the juice

Hm

I don't hate it

I'm on a roll with these

I have a whole host of names to call you that you don't hate now

And I don't even know your last name

But you know my middle one

True

It's Black.

Hm

Black. Most Ancient and Noble.

I hate it.

I'll stick to just Sirius, Orion Black doesn’t suit you at all

That's sweet of you to say

It's true

Sorry I brought it up

Don't be, I'm fine

Okay.

Class today?

Just one

Oh good

I mean

Yeah, sure

Not good?

Just means coming home earlier

Is your mom still going to be there?

No

What would happen if you just didn't go home?

There's nowhere else to go

You could find a tree

The weather is shite

And I don't like just hanging round at uni because there's too many people, and the library isn't any good either

No book shops to linger in for your blessed nerdy heart?

The staff hates me because I so rarely buy anything

Could you see if Alice is free?

And just flo

fly to London?

Well if you could do that then

Then there would certainly be a lot more options for you in the first place

I could go not buy anything in lush

Yeah, that

And you'd just be okay with that?

I'd be lots of things with that

Maybe I'll do that then

Maybe you should

Maybe one day

One day soon

Maybe warn me, okay?

I won't just show up, I wouldn't do that

Okay

Because pretty people are really pretty and I really like pretty people but I'm not sure how I'd handle curls and green eyes and freckles and scars just walking right on into the shop

It would probably end up with me being unconscious and then I could take a nice visit to your hospital

I'm not pretty

That remains to be seen

You'd really want that?

Would you?

Yeah

Me too

Okay

I mean, it seems ridiculous right?

To feel connected to a person and to be physically close to them and NOT want to close the gap?

Not where I thought you were going with that

But I agree

Where did you think I was going?

The other way

How?

That it's ridiculous that we want to

Is that what you think?

No, I was just afraid you did

I don't

How soon is too soon


Is too soon a thing?


I'm not sure I'm ready yet


Then it's too soon


But it isn't for you?


Doesn't matter, if it's not unanimous it doesn't happen


I know, I'm just asking where you stand


I stand on I'd-Really-Like-to-Meet-You Boulevard.


Alright


But also there's absolutely no pressure, okay?


Okay.


Still wish you could come to London to avoid your house today though


Yeah, me too


I'm sorry


Who knows, maybe he won't be home


That would be nice


We'll see


I wish you luck


Thank you


I'll text you once I'm done here


Have a fun day


You too, Pumpkin

 


Your luck worked

Sort of


He was here, but he left soon after I got home


So now I've just been sitting around, enjoying the peace, waiting for you to get off work


That doesn't sound pathetic at all

Ugh, okay


I'll go do something for another hour

 


That's excellent!

What did you find to occupy yourself with?


Not telling


What why?


You have enough items on your nerd list already


I have so much room left to add to it


I'm knitting


You knit


Yes, I knit


Oh sweet m


You knit


What are you knitting?


I'm knitting you socks


I mean


Socks


I'm knitting socks.


Me


You said you're knitting me socks


You're knitting me socks???


No


Maybe


Shut up


You're knitting me sooooocks


What kind of socks?


Ughhhhh


Warm ones


Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!


Ughhhhh


Don't ugh, don't ruin this for me, this is the nicest I've ever felt



Oh My god


I tried to make them your favourite colour


You


I need a minute


Oh okay


Thank you

You're welcome


I love everything about this


I didn't really plan on telling you about it


I was just gonna steal your address from your package and send them to you


That would have been nice too but I really love knowing


Now you know.


Thank you


You said that already


I mean it a lot more


It's just socks


Mhm


I hope they'll fit


Are they very big?


There's still probably gonna be some wiggle room, but no, not that big


I figured you had tiny feet


I have normal feet!


Uh huh


They fit in smaller socks but I assure you they are normal feet


Normal small feet, yes


Yes.


Emphasis on small


I am normal size.


For a short person


FOR A REGULAR PERSON


Sure, sure


Stupid inbreeding


????


It's a family tradition


I blame it for my grey eyes and my perfectly normal height


You're serious


I have never been more horribly serious


Oookay


Was that too much sharing?


No


I'm just not entirely sure what to say


Oh you don't have to say anything


What do you do while you knit? Do you listen to music or watch television? Or do you just sit in a dark room with needles and wool?


Yes, the latter. I sit in a dark room so that I can't see what I'm doing.


Seems right


Mostly music. Sometimes tv if I'm making something that doesn't really require much attention. And yeah, sometimes I just sit and do that, but when it's sunny and I can be outside.


What did you do today?


Music


Anything good?


The Clash


Are you still?


Yeah


London Calling, side 3


Give me


Twenty minutes


Okay


Okay

Okay


Where are we?


I put side 1 back on


Okay I'm with you


Should I catch up? Or count from ten?


Count


Okay



Feels nice.

Are you singing? I'm singing


I may be singing a little bit


A little bit?


Yes


Juuuuuust a little bit?


Okay maaaaybe a bit more than a little bit


There it is


Don't look so smug


You don't even know


I know


Hmph


So what did you have to do in those 20 minutes?


Hm?


When you said to give you 20 minutes, I assumed you were doing something and had to finish before you could put on the record?


Oh, yeah, right, I was just finishing doing something


Right. Okay.


No big deal


Ok


What?


Nothing


It wasn't anything bad, I promise


Okay


It suddenly seems not okay


No, it is, I'm sorry.


I'm just not used to you not telling me things. Which is completely unfair, because you've been nothing but honest with me this whole time, and I'm hiding so much.


I was at the record shop a few streets over.


You


You were at the record shop a few streets over.


You went to buy the record?


Well I didn't have it


You went to buy the record.


Yes


So you could listen with me.


Yes


Sirius


Yes


You're incredible


What's incredible is that they had it, I called Lily first and she said she didn't and that they probably wouldn't either but they did


I'm really glad they did.


Me too, I like doing this


Why didn't you want to tell me?


It's less spontaneous if I had to go out of my way


I don't like it any less


Yeah?


I love that you did that


You do?


I do


Okay


Good


Now, let me try this singing on a table thing


Yes!


Join me!


Do I have to fall as well, is that part of the experience?


Oi


Because I'd really rather not


If you're going to be mean then I'm not going to dance with you


Who said anything about dancing


I did


You can't just stand on a table and not dance, you'll look ridiculous


Pretty sure I look ridiculous already


Pretty positive you look great


K i s s a r s e

See

I'd like to say something witty and clever here that stops you in your tracks like you stop me sometimes, but I can't think of anything, that's your job.


So tell me, what witty clever thing should I say?


I'm not giving you my lines


Come onnnnn I need something!


Nope


Fine fine fine give me a minute


I'll think of something


Take all the time you need


Oh oh oh!!!

Okay say it again


Compliment me again


I bet when you dance your curls bounce and I'd really like to see that


They do


That's how I know you look great


A fair assumption


You're making this impossible


I know


I give up


Nooo

Come on, start over

I can't


It's exhausting


I'm no match for you


You win


I am defeated

Noo, come on, you were doing so well

You're too good for me


Nonsense, you're wonderful, and terribly smart


No I'm just going to lie here face down on this table until the scavengers come for me


To steal your star dust?

That will already have floated away

So all that's going to be left is your beautiful soul?


Kiss arse


You wish


See????


Like that.


It comes naturally with the Dirty title


Bravo


Thank you thank you


Do you have a list saved somewhere?


Of things to say? No


Damn


That would make you easier to believe

You're way more unbelievable than I am

How's that?


From what I can tell you've been through a lot, and you just keep being positive, and everything excites you. You went to buy shampoo and landed a job, one that you love going to. And you're an artist, and you spill tea on jerks and offer to clean up, and you buy records so you can listen to them at the same time as some bloke in Wales who you've always got kind words for even when he's being difficult


Oh


And so that you can use your line: you're also a kissarse


Oh!


Ahem:


Well, if you're offering


Ahh, a classic


I like me how you describe me


It's how I see you


I like me how you see me


I like you too.


James is home and I think he'd like t

Hi James

Hi Remus


My Sirius appears to be malfunctioning, what did you do?


What's a Moony?


What


Malfunctioning how


Well for starters her arse is where my food goes


Let's not touch how not okay that is


I come home and she's just politely sitting on a table smiling at her phone


Oh for the love of


And I'm not allowed to touch the turn table


And she hasn't touched any of the smoothies in the fridge I inconspicuously left for her


Only most of those things are my fault


Oh good


I'll take credit for the smiling and the blame for the music


Mmmmmmmmhm


I also don't see what the problem with her sitting on a table is?


Food's for eating, arses are for eating...


Oh Mmary and Joseph


I have no intention of doing that tonight thank you very much


But maybe some other night?


That's not the


Between the two of you how does anything ever get done?


Or do you save all of the vulgarity for my benefit?


Nah, we're plenty vulgar ourselves too


I mean I try to behave, but what am I supposed to do, when she just offers me her arse


How????


Outside of Worms, Lily, and myself, she's always so Delicate about that stuff


"Offers you her arse" oh wow


She never said it makes her uncomfortable, if it does, I'll stop


That's not mine to discuss, probably shouldn't have said that much. Now about the smoothies


I just keep leaving them unattended and coming home and they're still here


I guess it's just not been a smoothie kind of day


Every day is a smoothie day, Remus.


You should put that on a shirt


I should


Definitely make one for Sirius as well


I would if she'd just admit it


Give her time


Yeah yeah


Okay have your girlfriend back, take care of yourself


You too


I texted Lily from his phone while he had you


He's about to be in trouble


What did you tell her?


That Clapton is a severely overrated guitarist


Well that won't end well


I'm looking forward to it


Keep me updated


Oh I will


Thank you


Nooooo he's going into the kitchen, but I'm so committed to this sitting on the table thing now


Nooo, follow him, the table can wait


But the principle of leaving my arse on it for the rest of the evening!


Not worth it


You are a man of no morals


When it's between a sore arse and witnessing your friend's struggles, the choice is pretty clear


Well


No you're right okay


Yesssss


His phone is vibrating a lot now


Well it's an important matter


"What I didn't even say that?"


Oh


That took no time at all


Gotta run


He's gonna catch you??

He runs every day??

Good luck

 


Should I be worried?

No! No worries


The chase took to the streets for awhile but we got distracted and went for Chinese


Beautiful.


It was pleasant


I'm glad


I maintain that he never would have caught me if I hadn't smelled food


Uh huh sure


And if I'd had on shoes


You went out without shoes??


I didn't have time to grab them, he was CHASING me!


I'd taken them off before getting on the table


So I didn't fall


Like last time


Why did you run outtttt


It was the only way left to run


You got caught anyway!


Because food and no shoes!


I give up


Do anything interesting while I was gone?


Dad came back, so no.


Aww damn


He wanted to talk and everything


Oh no what about?


Not even anything important. Just chat.


That could be either much better or much worse


I can't even decide myself


Want to talk about it or not think about it?


Not think about it


Okay think about what kind of bath I should take, instead. This is an important set of decisions.


What are the options?


I have enough in the Rose category to do an all rose bath. Bubble bar, bubbleroon and bath bomb. Or I could do this bath melt that smells all lemony with this brilliant blue bath bomb which is also shimmery


Or I could mix and match


The hell is a bubbleroon


It's a bubbleroon!



Crumble it into the running water and BUBBLES


Sure. That totally needs a separate name for itself.


It does!


It's different than the bubble bar, it's not just a bar


Aha


Use that then


That and what?


Just that?


Really???

Well I don't know!

If you say so


This isn't the easiest of tasks you know


Kind of hard to care about other things that'll be in the bath when I can't even get over the image of you in the bath


Of course I know, that's why I shoved it off on you

Oh

Well now you'll just have to get over the image of me in a pink bath with lots of bubbles, won't you


Apparently so.


And smelling amazing, even more amazing than usual and that's difficult


Mhm


Sleepy?


Just imagining


Don't hurt yourself


Thanks
.

On a scale of Okay to Sirius, No, how bad of an idea is it to take a phone into a bath?


Considering your clumsiness, maybe don't?


Well I won't be wearing heels


God, you fall off one table one time


I don't want to not be able to talk to you if you drown your phone.


Fiiiiine


Don't fall asleep before I get out


I won't.


Enjoy your bath.

 


I did

I'm glad


I feel all melty and soft now


Sounds nice


Mhmmmn


Maybe I'll try it once


You have to, you'll feel amazing


I'm very close to sleep so if you want questions...


Ohh you really waited up for me, you didn't have to do that


You go first


I wanted to.


That's really nice


Who's your favourite painter?


Kind of a big question


The kinds of painters I learned about from my tutor when I was younger aren't people with names anyone would know


I've only just started getting to know more popularly known artists since school


I like Warhol's colours? Is that answer enough?


It is.


Okay


Do you go to galleries a lot? Are you one of those people who sit there and sketch all day?


I would like to


Never have, but I think I'd like it if I did


You should go then


Never had an excuse to


Wanting to is excuse enough


I guess


Your turn


Is there a place in or near London you really enjoy being?


Alice's dad's ice cream shop


Though it's sadly located on a street I really don't like


What's it called?


Can't tell you that, you have to find it yourself or it's not as magical


You want me to try every ice cream shop in London???


Even for you this is unreasonable


That or be patient and let me take you there one day


Oh


Okay


That one


Okay


I like that a lot


Yeah?


Definitely


Good


Sleepy?


Mhm


Go dream about what ice cream you're going to order me


Mmmkay


Gnight


Good night, Moony

 

***


I'd let you pick the flavour yourself.

Nope


If I'm experiencing your favourite place I'm experiencing it your way


But if I pick, I'll just end up stealing all of it from you


I'm really good at sharing


Everyone says that and then they get mad after


No, I am


Really I am


Okay.


I'll pick for you.


Yessssss


Yeah, yeah


Pick the tea


Tell me which herbal you have again?


So many


Ginger, hibiscus, jasmine, rosehip, mint, chamomile...


Jasmine


Mmm okay


I have to see if they have any at the shop by work


They have to


It's a really little place, but I hope so


Fingers crossed


I appreciate it


Talk after?


Yes


Tell me about class in the meantime


I like when my phone vibrates even if I can't read it right then


Okay


Considering jumping out of the window so I don't have to see my dad

Well that's no good


Oi!


Go work and leave me to my reckless decisions


Hmph


Shoo


I left through the front door.

And then I had to go back. Because I forgot my book.


So that was fun.

 


One class down, three to go

Or not, okay


Apparently they all got cancelled


Guess I'll go b


Huh.

Some people are going to get lunch together and they asked me to come


 

It wasn't horrible. Wasn't great, and I guess I'm not getting any new records this month, but it wasn't that bad.


You went to lunch with people?

I did


I'm so proud! Anyone cool?


The waitress


What was she like?


Rude


Rude isn't cool


But the good rude


Oh so she was like you


Basically, yeah


Did you get her number?


If there's one thing I'm glad for, it's having a good-rude-cool person’s telephone number


I did not


Damn


Can't just get people's numbers


Why not?


That one girl gave hers to me pretty readily


Completely different


Why?


She was working.


So?


So she didn't have a real choice whether she wanted to communicate with me or not, and is also more than likely sick of customers asking for her number and bothering her.


I guesssssss


Mmhm


But the people you were out with?


Were alright in a I-wouldn't-say-no-to-lunch-once-every-three-months way


I'll take it


How was work?


Fun


Mostly I was stocking but still


How are people there?


James is out late, I have Lily


Oh, I meant what are your coworkers like, but okay, hi Lily


Oh, they're nice! Really helpful. Not necessarily people I'd offer a key to the flat to, but nice enough to spend hours at a time with


Lily's mouth is full but she is waving hello frantically


Full of what


Leftover Chinese


And yours?


The fork fulls I can manage to snatch from her plate


Not as big on sharing as you claim to be?


I don't know how? She's eating MY food


And how often do you eat hers?


That's not the point


Mhm.


Hmph


Everybody takes her side


Aww are you pouting?


Nooo


Awwww


You don't know


Bet it's cute


Bet your face is cute


Of course it is, I have freckles, remember?


My point exactly


Doesn't change the fact that you're pouting


Well now I am!


Adorable


I'm always that


I can't pout for very long, I get distracted by the ring


I did not have to be reminded of that.


Oh terribly sorry


Aha


Do they bother you?


What?


My piercings, do they bother you?


I don't think they do, but I've been wrong about more obvious things before


They very very much do not bother me.


Okay


I'm quite happy about their existence


And think about them a lot


And have theories where the remaining four are


Let's hear them


Eyebrow, tongue, septum, navel


You've put a lot of thought into this


I have.


One or more of those are correct.


Okay


Okay okay okay


Are you?


Mhm


You may inquire about one, I will tell you if it is correct or incorrect.


Okay


How do I pick


Ughhhh okay ok ok


Septum


Good choice


Correct


Nice


Thank you



Is that

Yes?

That


Is beautiful


Thank you


I really


Really really like that one


I do too


Thank you


You're welcome, all in the spirit of sharing




ookay


If I get to see your thigh, it's only fair I think


You didn't have to, but thank you.


Oh well, if I didn't have to, then I take it back


Too late


Oh well


I know they aren't what this picture is supposed to be about, but I'm finding myself unable to look away from your lips again


Says the one with the legs


You have legs too


Yeah but yours are on my phone now


And your lips are on mine


Twice


Why don't you have any, if you like them?


I have lips


Piercings, Moony


Yeah, yeah, I know


Can't because of my condition


I'd have to keep taking them out every month and that's just too much effort for me


Oh


Okay


I'm sorry


Nah, it's alright


I still get to enjoy seeing them on pretty people, I can't complain


Are you uncomfortable talking about your condition?


It's not my favourite subject


Okay


Don't have to


I just want you to know that whatever it is, I would never judge you negatively for it. It wouldn’t colour my opinion of you. I wouldn't let it.


That's all, though, no more talking about it.


Lily has moved onto the drinking-all-of-my-wine portion of the evening. Apparently eating-all-of-my-food wasn't enough


Unless I'll want to?


Hm?


Oh!


Yes, of course


You can, always, whenever.


Okay.


Thank you.


Now, how much wine are we talking about here?


Anything.


Well, we had three open bottles, which were at least halfway empty each. Those are about to be gone.


And James has agreed to stop off somewhere on his way home


Turning into a party


Oh we surely know how to party


Records and wine and then by the end of the night they're in James's room doing that gross kissing thing they do and I'm still with the records and wine, alone as ever


It's a great time for everyone


Well I'll be having a late night reading for school, so you can at least text me


Small comfort, I know, but still


Not that small


Can't offer you any gross kissing


Pshh


Who wants all that grossness anyway


Your friends, apparently


That's because they're disgusting


Clearly


Me

I want it


Me too


Text you in a bit?


Alright

 


Im sorry i thin k texting yuo right niw is a probabably a badd idea. Jamie say to tell yoi gnight

So gniight


Oh


Okay


Goodnight

 


You still up ?

Mhm


Are you? Or are you saying that?


Both, technically


Works for me


Switched to water after they took my phone. Wasn't worth it


Had fun though?


Yes, I think so


You think so?


Not what I wanted from my evening


When you said you'd be up, that sounded nice. Wine and these dorks and you. Just not how it happened


Yeah


I'm sorry


Not your fault


Stupid James got to keep his stupid phone


I don't really understand why you couldn't, if I'm being honest.


Lily's rule about mixing alcohol and communication


Right, but that just goes for you?


I'm the only one who regularly talks to someone


And I tend to over-speak under the influence


Ok


How has studying been?


Fine


Read anything interesting?


Yep, plenty


Liiiiike?


Like everything about ancient Greece


Oooooh


Nerd


Goodnight.


Nooooooo come back


Yes?


I only mean nerd in the very very best of ways


Mhm okay


I doooooo


Well I'm going to bed either way

Fiiiine

Questions.

Are you uncomfortable when we talk about sex things?


W


Uncomfortable how?


I don't know. James was surprised that you're okay with it, and I just want to make sure you really are.


I am very much okay with it.


You don't say things like they're


I dunno


I don't like the way other people talk about things like that with me. But you've never made it uncomfortable.


Okay. You'll tell me if I do?


I will


But you won't


We're past the point where I think you could


Alright.

Thank you

Not necessary


Kind of is


What is your favourite outfit?


I don't have a favourite outfit


Anything then


That you wear that makes you feel nice


My red jumper


Why?


It's really soft and warm and it. I don't know. Helps me remember the important parts of me. My mum made it for me when I was little, and then when I outgrew it, she made me another one from the same wool. And another, and another, and another. And I wear it a lot, but it's also what I always wear when I get out of the hospital.


That sounds very you


I kept all the old ones


Of course you did


Where are they?


In my closet


That's really nice, I like the red jumpers


I like sleep


Can't believe I drank a bottle and a half of wine, and YOU'RE the sleepy one


It's half two


It is?


Oh


It is


Gross, I'll be up in like three hours


Or you could sleep until you have to leave for work??


Would like to


Can't


Why


Just can't


Body won't let me


I’m sorry,
that sounds awful

It will be


Should probably sleep while I can


Yeah


Goodnight, Sirius


Goodnight


For real this time

Chapter Text

Tell me you somehow managed to get more than three hours of sleep?

Gooooood morning sunshine

Been up four hours

Oh, ew, you're cheery

Wasn't when I first woke up

That makes me feel better

Should I be offended by that?

No, I'm just not sure how I'd deal with that level of cheerfulness

Wake up in the MORNING sometime and find out

How is 9 not morning??

This is like pre-noon, not morning

It's morning.

Barely

morning: noun, morn·ing, \ˈmȯr-niŋ\
1) the early part of the day: the time of day from sunrise until noon
2) the part of the day between midnight and noon

Oh, be nerdier, I beg you

Okay just give me a sec to find my glasses

You do not

Y

No

I need you to do me a favour

Name it

Never wear those in front of me

I...can try?

I sort of need them sometimes.

To see.

Oh My god why, why

Feel free to blame my father

This may be the one thing I thank your father for

You have the strangest taste

I have fine taste, thank you very much

Uh huh

Nerds in glasses is a perfectly normal thing to make a person stop breathing for brief periods of time

If you say so

It is

James wears glasses but he's not a nerd, so that doesn't count

Sure he's not

Not the cute kind

Unlike me?

Unlike you

You haven't even seen me yet

That's what's awful, I don't even have to

I'm

No, nothing

???

I'm afraid you're building up this image of me in your head and then you're going to be disappointed. And all the compliments that I'd maybe get used to by then or even start believing would stop, and I'd feel like an idiot for ever hoping they were real

I have no expectations for you outside of what you've given me. I can't help it if everything you've given me is endearing

What's something about you you think I won't like?

All of it

Give me something

Try me

I don't want to

Okay

If you don't want to, don't

But realize that I like talking to you and that has nothing to do with however you look.

There's nothing you could tell me about your physical appearance that could make me like you less

Okay

I'm a lot

Like maybe too intense

I'm worried if

When

I'm worried you'll realize I'm only tolerable in small doses

Like texting

I really don't think that's going to happen

I can't imagine it

Your energy is a lot, yes

But it's not

It fuels me. It's not overwhelming. It's not too much.

Because we're texting

I don't think it will make a difference

Because even if it's a day where we talk a lot, I always want more

I don't get tired of you, and I don't see how I could

You've never had to listen to my voice relentlessly at hours of the morning you'd rather be sleeping. Or dealt with me when I can't talk without yelling things, which happens, you know. Or had to be the one to tell me I need to back off when you can't take anymore of my clinginess. I dunno. I just know I'm too much sometimes, and it's not that I think you don't have patience for it, I just think you shouldn't have to try.

This works, this thing with us, I like it. But I think it's contingent upon you not "really" knowing me.

But I want to know you. And I don't see it like that, I'm not saying I have a lot of patience therefore I could try to tolerate you, no, I'm saying I don't think you require that much of it. Liking you isn't a project or a challenge, and I don't know who's giving you the idea that you're too much, but I kindly need them to fuck off

Thank you, Remus

That being said, if you don't let me sleep in the morning, I will throw stuff at your head

I have a very thick skull, I'm not worried about it

All good then

Precisely

Glad you agree.

A perfect pair

Mhm

Plans today?

Green

I mean class

I have class today, that's my plan

What?

Nothing

What was green?

Nothing

Your occasional mysteriousness kills me slowly, just so you know

I read your text wrong okay shhh just let me go hide now

What? What did you think I'd texted?

Nothing

Not important

Tell meeeee please

Please

Please

Please

Please

Ughhhhhhhh

Pants

Oh

Ohhhhhh

Green

I was just getting dressed okay and it somehow made sense in my head that you'd ask

You answered

Oh My god you thought I asked and you just answered

Well

Yeah.

Noted

So green, huh?

Yes, to match my forest eyes

Like your eyes? Or like a different green?

Yes, that, thank you

Moony Moony Moony, the tall forest tree with the brilliant forest eyes and the forest green pants

Don't forget the cat socks

That's not terribly woodland of you

Oh, I'm sorry, I'll go change my adorable socks to fit the theme

I would appreciate it, thank you

Will these do?

They will

Thank you for your approval

Graciously given

Aha

How many pairs of socks do you own?

Never counted

Do it

56

Plus the ones I’m wearing

And there's some in the washing as well

That

Is a whole lot of socks

It's not that many

You have to be joking

It's not

And they're all different?

Why would I have same pairs of socks?

Oh I dunno, if you were normal maybe

But I didn't really expect that

Sounds dreadfully boring

Most of mine are the same

Do you at least mismatch them?

Am I supposed to?

No, but I like to with the more plain ones

Doesn't that feel off though?

As long as it's a similar material, no

I feel like I'd be able to feel even the colour difference

Maybe better not do it, then

We'll see

Work today?

Yesssss

Is there anything you don't like about it?

Hmmmm

Not terribly

What do you like the most?

It's clever. The shop has this feeling of embracing weirdness and everything there is so cleverly thought out. It feels like a little bit of magic in a row of regular shops. So I guess the atmosphere

I've never actually been

You muuuuuust

I will I will

Good good

Are there any around there?

There should be one in Cardiff

Gooooo

I'll go today after class

Oh wow soon

Yes!

Well it seems Important

And it's gonna be easier to imagine where you spend eight hours a day

True, true

You're running late

Oh!

Thankyoutalktoyoulater

Have a good day

 

 

Today was the beeeeest

Tell me all about it while I browse

You're there??????!

YES

Smells nice

That's how I smell right now

Shhh tell me about your day

Well James came into the shop with some of the guys from the team and I got to show them things and help them try things and it was so much fun

Ohhh nice

It was so great

Fabian left with green winged eyeliner on, James had his entire face done

Tell me what to buy

Pick a category

Hair, body, face, bath

I think maybe I'd like another bath bomb

Colourful or scenty?

Colourful

Experimenter

Oh so that can still be called a bomb even though it's not round? That doesn't get its own name?

It's what it does, not what it's shaped like

Sure, sure

I refuse, pick me a round one

Seriously???

Yes.

Incredible

Intergalactic

Uuu that sounds fun

I really shouldn't

But I will

Yeah?

Yes.

Yessssss

I'm so excited for you

I'm excited for me too

When???

Um right when I get home, obviously?

Excellent choice

Not really one to keep things for long

I understand the need for instant gratification

Trying not to feel guilty about it

No!

The whole point of these things is that you GET to think about you and what feels nice for you for a few minutes at a time

I suppose

Trust me, I'm a professional

Hah

Okay

You need candles, you need soft music, you need something to rest your neck on.

Wine and a book is optional

I can't have soft music, I'll fall asleep

But the rest I can do

Awwww

Okay

 

I’m doing it

I’m about to throw it in

I threw it in

Yessss

Pretty right?

So so so pretty

You unbelievable dork

Do you use nerd and dork interchangeably

Yes, except when I use dork to mean 'whale penis' as it was intended.

You use that a lot, do you?

When it's appropriate

So yes

This is so beautiful

I hope you're talking about the bath and not whale penises? But I mean, you do you, pumpkin, I don't know your life

Yes I'm talking about the bath, you arse.

Just look at it, look at all the stars

Just remember the brightest one is Sirius

Your music choice, though

Could never forget that

Yes?

What about it

I approve

Good.

Except

Are you in that bath?

Isn't that the whole point? That I am IN the bath?

Right yes got it okay

Was so excited about you doing the bath thing it didn't occur to me

So you're just

Sending videos of you in a bath

That's neat

That's cool

...aha

I'm gonna leave you now and enjoy this and not drop my phone in the water

Talk later?

Right

Yes

Good

I have to go

Do stuff anyway

Talk to you later

Enjoy your

Stuff

Mhm enjoy your bath

Mmm I am

Tell me when you've finished then

Mhm

 

I'm out, did you finish?

Oh hi

Yes

What?

Dishes. Finished those. Done with that.

Glad to hear it

Nice bath?

The best.

I saved a bit of it

Thanks for your recommendation

You saved a bit of it?

You're very welcome

Yes


 

Awwww that's so beautiful

Just seemed like a waste

To let it all go down the drain

So pretty

I also smell nice and am very soft

Toooold you

Yeah yeah you were right

You'll find I always am about these things

Well, like you said, you are a professional

Exactly!

This was really really nice

I might take a nap now

Ughhhhhhh fine

Just so comfy

Hmph

Wish y

me sweet dreams, and stop being grumpy

Have sweet dreams please

 

You still up?

Mhm

Did I wake you?

Nno

Im still up

Are you okay?

Mhm

Sleep well?

Really great

Mmm good

Just way longer than I thought I would

Is late

Questions and sleep?

Mhm mhm

You sure you're alright?

Maybe was sleeping

Go back to sleep, sleepy star

Nooo

Questions

Gotta

Okay okay

Do you wear your hair up a lot?

Yeah

Gets in the way lots

If I don't

Ponytail or bun?

Bunn

Always

Ponytail tickles

Sensitive neck

Good to know

Do you ever braid it?

Can't reach

So it comes out bad and

Hmph

Someone else could do it for you?

Dont really let people

Touch

Oh, okay

Lily probbly would

If I asked

Okay

You gonna ask me?

Oh

Mhm

Do you

Hmmmm

Think we'd be friends if we met

Another way

I'd like to think so

Mmm

Me too

Yeah?

Mhm

Sleep tight, Padfoot

Night night moon moon

 

***

 

It's 5, so I'm gonna assume you're awake?

Just getting up

What are you doing awake?

Haven't gone to bed yet

What.

Remus no

Remus yes

Remus no!

Remus yes!

Whyyyyy

Not tired

It is the morning.

It's night

No!!?

Oh hey, but now at last I get to say this

Um, yeah

Good morning, Moony

The sun's not up yet, I don't accept it

That's not what morning is

Should be

Does this mean you're going to sleep all day?

Possibly

Well that's no fun

Sorry

It's just as well, I'll be at James's match for awhile

Tell him good luck

Do I have to?

Yes

Ugh

Did you do it

Unfortunately

Thank you

That's what he says

What a polite exchange

He says so loudly and a lot.

That must be pleasant at this hour

I can tell you it's not

Poor you

Your sympathy will be taken without all the sarcasm

Aww thank you

You're so very welcome  ❤❤

What

<3 <3

Oh sure

:)

;)

What's for breakfast?

Here? Toast and bacon

Which James is eating all of

And he needs to STOP

No smoothies?

I do not consider that food.

Not even the unhealthy ones?

I would if we had any

And I refuse to call those green things he makes "healthy"

How can something "healthy" make you want to vomit so much? Doesn't sound healthy to me.

You should start making your own

Delicious fruit ones

Add some sugar

Start a smoothies war

I'm afraid the little machine thingy tastes like green and will just make everything unholy

Ew, good point

I'd need my own and that seems like a commitment

Yeahhh, not worth it

Hmph

Bacon sounds so good though

Doesn't it?

Wish I HAD SOME

I'm gonna go make some

Don't you have to go to bed?????

Not before I have some dinner

I'm horrified

Why is it wrong that I'm eating right now but not you two?

Because you're calling it dinner.

Well it is.

Your best friend is a nurse, does she know you live like this??

My friend is studying to be a doctor.

And yes, she does.

Is she horrified?

Not in the slightest

How

She's the same

Good, now I'm worried about both of you

Awww

Don't awww me, sir

AWWW

Insubordination

So sweet that you worry

Yeah yeah yeah

The bacon is delicious, did you manage to get some yet?

No

I'll have some of yours, thank you

Sure, I'll share

I've a better chance getting it from you than him

Pretty rude of him

I mean I get that he needs all the energy he can get for the match

But you need it too, to cheer him on

Right??

Yes.

I'm just going to cheer on everyone except for him

Even the players on the bench

Yes.

Is this sufficient revenge for bacon stealing, Mr Moony?

Hmmm yes, I think so

Glad to have your approval

It's not that easily earned

Then I'm properly honoured

Good, good

Wish me goodnight

Sweet dreams

Keep me updated on the game

I will when we're out, I don't get service at the place


Guess you're still not out.

 

I'm having more bacon for breakfast

While mum's making lunch

 

Both were delicious

 

Do you go to all of his games?

How are you not bored?


Alice showed up!!

We're gonna go out for a walk before she starts arguing with my dad

It was a bitter defeat

He'll be sulking for the rest of the week

Yes I go to all of his games, some of his practices, too

I never liked playing much, but I like watching alright

By both do you mean that you ate breakfast AND lunch just then??

My love to Alice

Hmmm okay

Yes, that is what I meant by both

Alice says go away

Don't go away.

And my condolences to James about the match

I'd say that's what you get when you don't want to share food with your best friend, but that might be a bit mean even for me

Oh harsh

Would a flower crown make him feel better?

And harsh from Alice, too

I'm making one for Alice

Alice is just jealous

Um, when would a flower crown NOT make someone feel better?

Jealous?

Because she sees how quick I am to reply to you, whereas I take my sweet time sometimes with her letters

Oh she writes letters?

That's pretty!

Thank you. Yes, she does, long ones

And they say no one writes anymore!

I want a flower crown

Well then you'll get one

Yeah??

Yeah, sure

Nice

I like keeping my hands busy

Bet you have nice hands

They're alright I guess?

Long fingers

Always get told I should play the piano

Or asked if I do

Of course.

Of course?

Couldn't really tell in the picture, but I thought they might be

Right. Well, they are

Oooooof course

Also my nails are currently painted black, if you want a clearer image of what they look like

Oh

Alice's handiwork

She has good taste

She likes you better now

Oh points!

You still have a long way to go

Don't rain on my victory, Moony

Just saying

Hmph

We passed a rose bush earlier, would you rather your crown be made of roses, or will daisies do?

Hmmmm

Surprise me

Okay

 

The rain surprised us before I could surprise you

But I promise I'll make you one

Maybe sometime when you'll actually be able to wear it

It's really sweet whenever you get to it

It's no big deal

Mhm

We're gonna go get something to eat, text later?

Please make healthy choices

Ha

One. Just one single healthy choice for the day

We'll see

For me

I'm not making any promises

Hmph


I ate aloo palak instead of my usual order of chicken curry and it had spinach in it, does that count or do I have to go eat a carrot or something?

I guess that counts

There was a lot of green

I'm so proud

I can't believe I'M lecturing someone on health value. James would be so proud. I hope he never finds out.

Oh I'll definitely tell him

Do not!

You don't have his number, hah hah

You don't know that

What

No you totally don't. He would have said!

Would he

Maybe

But you would have wished him luck yourself

Maybe I did and just didn't want you to know so I wished it again through you

Why are you trying to make me paranoid???

Would it be that bad if I had his number?

Only if

No

It's James, he wouldn't say bad things about me anyway

I guess not

I don't have it

But

Could you maybe give him mine? Just in case of emergency

Oh

Yeah, sure

Just

I dunno

You don't have to

I gave yours to Al, because

I don't know

So if something were to happen, she could let you know and you wouldn't have to worry.

Oh that's really nice

Yeah

No of course I'll give it to him

Tell me what you're worried about?

Just. James is a really really really great guy.

He listens and he shares and he's great to talk to for hours and hours and hours

He's the best friend. Not just My best friend, I mean he's the best at being a friend

I like you.

Still

No

I wouldn't be able to blame you

Or him

Sirius

That would never happen

It's

Yeah, okay

No, don't say okay when it's not, don't not say things, don't just keep them in

Sorry

It's what happened with Lily. But not in any kind of bad way, I don't mean it like that. I love that she's always here, and she is here even when he's not, and there's never been an ounce of jealousy, I swear. But it's a precedent. It's something I know can happen. A person can like me and be friends with me but also just want to spend more time with James, he's better to spend time with. I know it's different, and I think this is coming out all wrong. It's really not like there was ever an unfair dynamic or anything and it's not like Lily ever made me feel lesser. And James has never made me feel inferior. It's just I feel like it could happen.

I like you. I believe you that James is a great and wonderful person, and I definitely wouldn't complain if he'd want to be my friend. But I like YOU. I like talking to YOU, I think about YOU, I want to spend time with YOU, I want to get to know YOU better. And James comes with that, because he's your best friend, and a huge part of your life, but I only wanted him to have my number so he could contact me in regards to YOU. You're the one I want to text all the time, you're to one I want to listen to records with, you're the one I want to knit socks for. That's not going to change, Sirius.

Wow

I'm s

No, I'm not

I mean all of that

Thankyou

No need.

And no need for that sorry earlier, either

Okay

That all

I mean that. Thank you.

You're welcome

He has your number

Okay. Thank you.

What are you and Alice up to?

Oh, she left after food

Aww

It's alright

It was a nice surprise that she came in the first place

That was really nice

And quick? For a day trip?

How did she travel, that's she's just willing to do that in a day?

Broom

What m

Hah hah hah

It's not the fastest, but she doesn't really get to fly a lot in London, and starts to miss it a lot every now and then

Well, what with all the regulations, it's probably difficult

Exactly, it's less of a hassle to just go on the tube

I can imagine.

Personally I don't really see the appeal in flying

Dunno

Wind in your hair and all that

Like falling, but safe

Cold.

Wear a jacket

What about when it rains and you're all wet and visibility is shite

Then don't fly then

What if it starts raining while you're already up there

You live with it, you walk in the rain, don't you?

See, clearly, flying is not for you. And here I was going to get you a racing broom for Christmas.

Shame, you'll just have to think of something else now

I'll just go with the basket of delicately arranged  oranges

I'll just have to squeeze them into juice and pour it over your head

Make your hair nice and sticky

Don't even say that!

Don't talk about oranges

Fiiiiine

What are you up to?

Consoling

How's that going?

About as well as could be expected

Which is to say not

Was it an important game?

Who knows?

Well I assumed you would, but I guess not

He treats all of them like the World Cup

So yes, it was an important game

To him yes, not sure about the team

Oh, just a sec

Okay?

Sorry, just wanted to write something down

So is consoling James a special process, or are you just giving him pats on the shoulder and saying 'there, there'?

What were you writing?

We're watching Lily's favorite movies and being abnormally quiet

Just a poem I remembered earlier and then forgot again and now remembered again

Which are her favourite movies?

Poem?

Don't try to distract

I'm not? It's just a short thing, I don't even know where I know it from

Oh I know you weren't actually trying to distract

What is it?

That's

Beautiful and sad

Yeah

I like it

Me too

<3

Oh

The

It's the little heart one

I can see that

Just making sure

Thank you

We're watching Sixteen Candles

Oooh!

Good choice.

Yeah?

It's just starting

Can

You don't have to, but give me five minutes?

!!!!????!!!!!

I'll stall

thanksi'llhurry

Tell me when

Okay I'm all set

Tell me when to count

10, yeah?

Yes

Now

Okay

I like this movie

I like most 80s movies

I trust your judgement

You and Lils both

You're gonna like it too, I think

Hmmm why?

Just will

You'll see

Okayyyy

I might fall asleep at some point, just a warning

I'm all wrapped up in warm blankets with my binder off and pyjamas on and after I finish this cocoa too, there's no saying what will happen

That sounds so so nice

Incredibly Dirty But Also Very Cute Moony

Your title is getting too long

Your own fault, you keep adding to it

Well you keep

Being Moony

So just stick to Moony

I do

Shhh pay attention to the movie now

Yes yes yes alright

 

So?

I am

Having a lot of emotions right now

Mhm mhm good

I'm in love

Told you

You did, I believed you

Is this the first John Hughes film you saw?

What?

He was a director, made a bunch of good ones

Oh

Then yes, this is my first

Definitely watch the rest.

What else is there?

Pretty in pink and The breakfast club are a must

I'll put them on the list

They're already on the list

Tell Lily I like her

Do I have to?

Yes

Ugh fine

Thank you

She says she likes you too and then some stuff about me that I won't repeat

What no tell me

Nah

But I want to know :(

Sorry

You are not

Not terribly

Hmph

Questions?

Okay

What is your very favourite movie?

The princess bride

I'll put it

It's already there.

It should be moved to the top

I'll see if Wormy will watch it with me tomorrow

Another Peter Sunday?

For the first half of the day. Then dinner with mum and dad

Oh, nice

Yes definitely

Do you do those a lot?

Family dinners? A few times a month. Depends on everyone's schedules

And they're nice?

They're amazing

Good, good

Honestly, they're the very best people

Tell me about them?

They're so kind and generous and they have just so much love to give

They sound great

I'll tell you more about them when I'm with them

Okay

Easier that way. But they really are the best

I believe you

Good

I have more helping mum with gardening to look forward to tomorrow

Is it always gardening?

Nah, it's different things, we just haven't finished everything we wanted to do last week

What else do you have to do?

Plant a few more things and paint the fence

And possibly the shed too

Awww

How is that awww?

Painting with your mum sounds

Dunno, like something fictional

It's a chore

But a really fun one

It's not the worst, I'll give you that

I'll take it

Was the thing about my parents your question for the evening?

No, that was just talking

What's your favourite flower?

Do I have to say one? Because it's kind of like the colour question

Pick one that I can plant outside

Maybe gardenia? What they lack in vibrancy of colour they name up for in scent.

That's the little white ones?

Mhm

Either white or a really pretty creamy colour

Okay

Which I suppose is also white but still

Okay

I'm impressed you stayed up this long

I slept through half of the movie

You did?!

Yeaaah, sorry

Hmph

Sorry.

Oh no, not really

You sounded so comfy and warm and comfy

I was

Just not exactly fair to make you wait and then fall asleep

I

Don't think it was any less nice

No?

Nah

Lily fell asleep too, in James's lap, and that's nothing but sweet. If it's like you're here watching it with us, then I can't imagine it being any less nice

I don't think I'd fall asleep if I'd been there

Would have to watch your face for reactions

I'd be pretty distracted by your face if you were here, too

People often are

Ohhh I bet

Yup.

Forest eyes

Sure, that's why.

Oh, I know the whole face is worth gazing at, but I'd probably get stuck on your eyes

Already have

You

Actually mean that, don't you

Yes

Is there a reason I shouldn't?

You're something else

Sweet dreams, little star

Goodnight, Moony

Chapter Text

I wonder if you keep the volume up on your phone while you sleep

And I also wonder if you're a light sleeper

So like

If I

Keep texting you

Will you

Wake up

?

?

?

Good morning

Good morning Moony

Good morning

Go away

Good morning!

Not yet

Hmph

Need another

Hour

Or four

Four?????

Mhn

You're killing me

Go be with Peter

Ugh fiiiiiine



We're watching your movie now

 

If you don't like it, don't tell me

We'll see

Okay

I'm not nervous or anything

It's a movie, why are you nervous?

I don't know, but I am

I want you to like it

It shouldn't really matter, it's just a movie, I know

But ughhh

I liked the one last night, I trust you that if you say this is so important I'll like it too

Maybe, maybe not

Shall I tell you when it's over so that I can pay strict attention?

Yes.

Okay

Have a nice "morning"

Thank you

 

We're watching it again from the beginning.

Because...

Because I'm having feelings and I'm not ready to leave these characters and this place yet

There's a book.

There is?

Yes, you should read it

If you want

It's it as good as this?

Yes

Better

Better.

Than this???

Yes, trust me

You get more background about Fezzik and Inigo and the whole thing is just

Better

Okay.

I want it.

Get it.

I'll see if Lily has it

Then you can read it in the mornings while you wait for me to wake up

Oh

That's true, isn't it

Mhm

Texting her now

I'm really happy that you like it

I love it

Thank you

Happy to share

Still nervous?

Just a tiny bit

There's one more thing I need to know your opinion on

Yes?

Westley's moustache.

Shhhhhhhh

We're not talking about that, Moony.

All of his everything else is so pretty, whyyyyyy

Why the moustache?

Oh

I'm sorry

Are you a fan of the horrible little moustache?

I hate it with every fiber of my being

Oh thank goodness

I think that's the only thing I don't like about it

That, and the almost slap, which is also the only thing that's worse in the book

Worse in the book.

Worse than him raising a hand to her just before claiming he loves her???

Yeah

He doesn't.

He does

No.

I'm sorry

And you want me to read this?

I

I know that hitting her is unforgivable and if I could change anything in any book, it would be that. And I'm conflicted about still liking their relationship so much, but I got attached long before I knew better, and I need to keep this story as a good thing. I blacked out that line and I know pretending it doesn't exist and looking the other way is right under actually doing it on the list of horrible things, but I need it, I need this story to stay good in my mind.

You don't have to read it

But what does she do? When it happens?

She starts saying that she spoke the truth, but then stops when she sees him raising his hand again

Again

It's bad, I know

I'm allowed to pretend that that's not something that happens?

I think. I think when something is bad in fiction and you know it, and you're critical about it, and you talk about it, and you acknowledge it, and you'd know to do better in real life, you should be allowed to not let it ruin it for you.

I don't want to excuse his character for it, I just want his character to be able to exist without it for me. It's literature, it's interpretive, right?

I want to read it so bad, but if it's going to be

Like that

I don't want to spend time with him

That's how I dealt with it, reimagining the character. I don't like Westley despite what he does, I like him because my Westley never does that

And he definitely doesn't have any facial hair

Does the book mention the moustache?

It does not

Okay then

You don't have to read it

I could just tell you more about the story

Or

Or I could read it to you one day and skip all the bad things, and you'd never have to know.

Oh

Just a thought

I want both.

I want to read it in the mornings before you wake up so I have a piece of you while I'm waiting for you. But also, I want you to read it to me someday.

Okay

I have your word?

You have my word.

Good

I want to.

It sounds like it could be really nice.

Lily doesn't have it, so Wormy and I are going to stop off at a place he knows before I have to head to dinner

Mm bookshop

Mm nerd

Nerd who has to go now

Tell your mum I say hello

Nah

You are under obligation, I told James good luck from you and I wanted no part of that

Fine fine fine I'll tell her

Yesssss thank you

Ugh



 

My hands are all painty

What colour?

Mostly brown

I love that feeling

Of being dirty?

Of being art

You sound like you're always art to me

Real art, the kind that means you did something

Painting a fence isn't art

It is if you do it right. But that's not important. The important bit is the long, paint covered fingers

Those are the art

Fingers that created and were created upon

It's the best art

I've just realized something

Hmm?

You're a nerd too

Am not, you take that back

You so are

I am not!

Are too

No, that's you

You too though

Not

Totally are

Hmph

Ha!

Hmmmmph

Not that grades are a good indicator of anything, but you totally got straight A’s in school, didn't you

A’s aren’t that good

Ohhh excuse me, A+ then

O’

Oh

No

I mean

Yeah okay but I never studied or anything

Yeah you seem like the type

The type?

The type who never studies and barely seems to even care but still gets better grades than people who actually try

That's never sounded more like an insult

Well I'm grumpy about it

I'm sorry

Equally impressed

I wasn't an arse about it

Well I was but I could have been much worse about it

What was your favourite subject?

That's

Tricky

One of my best subjects was like

Chemistry

But was that the one you liked best?

Hard to explain, the classes were really specific to the school

But it was like, this practical and theoretical self defense class. Not a traditional subject, I suppose

It's good that they taught that

I always thought I would do something with that

But they suggested things like law enforcement and that's not me

Officer Sirius

No thanks

Very not you

Right?

What's your favourite subject?

Definitely not chemistry

Awww, I could've helped you

I would've been forever grateful

Alas

Not sure what I could offer in return

Well obviously you'd read to me

Ohh, of course

And the rest we could work on together

I can't tell if I like working alone or if that's just what I'm used to

Moony

Padfoot

Wish I'd known you eight years ago

In an alternate universe, maybe

Oh well

I'm gonna go shower and wash all this paint off

Enjoy

Sure

Tell me when you're out?

Will do



I'm out

Well it's about damn time

I wasn't gone that long!

It felt like foreeeeeverrrrr

Aren't you at dinner?

Yes but we're not allowed in the kitchen so I'm just sitting here

Are the others not there yet?

Oh it's just James and me and his parents

Lily comes sometimes but not every time

Ah, okay

He's an only child

Well

I mean, they're basically your parents too?

Mm yeah

Do I get to know more about them now?

Yes

So Dad's family's lived in England for the last seven billion generations or something like that. His dad was a chemist for a beauty product company and he chose to rebel against that at all costs - James gets that from him. They both keep more hair than they will ever bother to manage. He likes modern jazz and do not get near him when he's got something in the record player because you WILL be swept into dancing. He's quite a good dancer, though, so no one ever really complains. He inherited an estate and comforts from his dad, but he's worked his whole life anyway. A government job. He smiles too big when you walk in the door, like he's spent every minute you were away waiting for you to come back, and he laughs at his own terrible puns. I get that from him.
Mum grew up in Bengaluru in what she calls a "modest home", but James once spent a summer with his extended family there in Karnataka and from what he says there was nothing modest about it. But she's the most REAL person you'll ever meet. We talk with her and she just gets swept into the conversation like she's one of us. She's the best cook in the entire world and I grew up with servants, so forgive me but my taste is refined. There's warm in everything she makes and I don't mean heat. She's in there now making bisi bele bhath, which is not even one of my favourites and my mouth is watering with the smell. And I should stop talking about it now because it smells soooooo good and I'm soooo hungry I'm going to bite James in a minute

They sound absolutely wonderful

They are

When did you start living with them?

I was sixteen when I got my own bed

I'd already been spending most of the holidays at James's, but it was official when

Well there was a messy exit from The House of Black, and then I never looked back

I'm really glad you got away

And had a place to go

Really really me too

But your brother stayed?

You don't have to answer anything if it's too personal

It's fine

It's you, so it's fine

I

Tried

To get him to come with me

The Potters would have taken him in, too, I know they would have

But he wouldn't come

So I left him there

Okay

I almost told you that when we were trading bad things that time

It keeps me awake a lot. It's the thing I want to take back.

Okay but you know it wasn't on you, right?

No.

Sirius

I don't think I want to talk about it anymore

Alright.

Sorry

Really don't be, you never have to talk about something you don't want to

Okay

I don't talk about him much

Ever really

Regulus, right?

Yeah.

He's younger, right, so still in school?

Yeah

Sorry, I'll stop

Thanks

My mum says hello back by the way

Awww thank you

And some other stuff about me I won't tell you

Pleeeeaaase

Nope, you didn't tell me what Lily said, I'm not gonna tell you what my mum said

If I tell you?

Maybe

Hmmmm

Probably

Hmmmmmmmmmm

Definitely

She said something about me having good taste

My mum said she likes how I smile when I talk about you

Do you do that?

Smile?

Yes

Yes

When you talk about me

Yes

Thank you

For telling me that

Mhm

Lily's also been calling you that thing James calls you. That's what she was implying I had good taste in.

Do you agree?

Well I know I have good taste in friend friends.

Obviously

But not in boyfriend friends?

No

Had a lot?

There was a period of time where I went out with a lot of guys, but I don't think I'd call any of them my boyfriends. So maybe I've never had one to complain about, anyway.

I think I have excellent taste

Yeah?

Well I've never dated anyone, but all the people I've liked were wonderful

Tell me about one?

There was this one girl about two years ago. I was in a bookshop trying to decide between two books, and she came up to me and offered her opinion, because she had read both of them. I ended up buying a third one and asking her to let me borrow the other two from her. So we agreed to both come back there next week, and then the next, and the next. It was about three months of book exchanges, and we'd leave notes in them for each other. She was incredibly bright and kind and warm and positive.

Wow

Yeah

That's

I'm waiting for that

I'm waiting for that to end with the other person liking me back

It's always me, I'm always the problem

Why

How

I'm always the one who can't manage to like the person back

Maybe they just weren't likeable

Apparently

You'll find someone

Oh that phrase

I know how it sounds, I just honestly believe it in your case

Yeah

Eating yet?

Setting the table now

I have a bag of crisps

Yum, dinner

It'll do

Not really???

It'll have to

No dinner dinner?

Nah

Well maybe mum's gonna bring something back from work, but that won't be for hours

Are they good crisps?

Ehh

Enjoy them

I'll try

You enjoy your dinner

And company

Talk soon

I'll be here.



 

Are you?

I am

Sorry it was long

It's alright

What were you up to?

Studying

As always

Exams are starting, forgive me for having to actually study unlike some people

Can I help?

No

Hmph

You can help me figure out how to convince a professor to let me take one of the exams on a different day

Oh? Why?

Can't make it next Friday

Something more important than an exam?

Hospital.

Oh okay

Sorry that was a poor question

It's fine

And you can't just tell your professor that?

They never understand why I can't just reschedule the check-up

Um???? How about your health is much much much more important???

"Then maybe this course isn't for you, Mr Lupin."

I don't even know where to begin with that

The exact quote doesn't have 'Mr' either

Okay. Now I know where to start with it.

Don't tell them. Have Alice write you a note on behalf of the hospital. Does your school have official guidelines about "emergencies"?

Can't do that

Why?

The hospital isn't

It's just not possible.

Okay

What are you going to do?

Fail

But you’re studying so hard for it, that's not fair

Life isn't fair

It's fine, it's just 30% of the final grade

No

I hate that

That's not right

It's how it is

I'm sorry

Me too

And it's not like all of them are arseholes, some are understanding

And the ones that aren't just make me want to b

I shouldn't tell you this

I want you to

This one's for the top of your nerd list

???

Just make me want to become a teacher that much more.

Go ahead, let's hear it

Do it.

Do it?

Do it, become a teacher.

I plan to

Good.

Kids need someone who understands, or is willing to try to

I think you'd be good at it

Yeah?

Yes, definitely

Thanks

I like that

That you want to change it from the inside, not dismiss it as a whole

I just want to help. And be a person I wish I had in my life

You're the best kind of person

What I am is a sleepy person

Questions?

You go first

Has it occurred to you that you'll be like. Here. In a few days?

12 isn't a few

Seems like a few

Yes it has

It's just weird

Weird.

Sorry

Didn't mean anything by it

Nothing to be sorry about, I'd just like you to explain more

Explain?

The weird feeling

Like I'll want to still be texting you, but texting you so close seems

I dunno, it shouldn't be difficult. I texted James from the kitchen while he was in the bedroom the other day

It's just different

If it's any consolation, I won't be able to text most of the day

That is the least consoling thing I've ever heard

But I kind of assumed as much

Would you rather date a werewolf or a vampire?

Give me a werewolf any day

Well most days, I guess

But that's the point, werewolves are only wolfy one day a month, right? Supposedly?

Vampires are vampires always. Then there's the whole depressing eternity thing

Werewolves are werewolves always too. They just only transform into a more clear image of the monster once a month

Suppose it depends on the lure you follow

I guess

You're a vampire fan, aren't you?

Wouldn't say I'm a fan, but at least they're human

More human than werewolves???

I will fight you

Who would you rather curl up with at the end of a long day? The frigid undead? Or a person who's maybe a bit canine most days?

They're not frigid, that's just a myth.

Many vampire friends?

Nah, just met a few once

Met any werewolves?

Have you?

Can't say I have

But you'd have no problem dating one?

Nope

Like I said, I'm a bit of a dog person anyway

I might go out and find myself a super cool werewolf boyfriend now to spite you

They're not dogs.

No, but I think I could translate my love of dogs to their wild ancestors. And thus their human counterparts.

I mean, the bottom line is I'd date either if I thought they were right for me, but superficially werewolves seem more attractive than vampires.

Okay

So your answer would be vampire?

No

????

My answer would be werewolf

Good

Then would you rather date a werewolf or a witch?

They're not mutually exclusive, you know

But witch

If you say so

I do say so

You're just saying that because of the project you're not working on in school

Why would I not want to date a witch?

Warts and child eating?

Well obviously I'd find a good witch

Obviously

Would you date a wizard?

I might

There's conditions?

Well I try to avoid doing things my birth family would approve of

They'd see that kind of magic as power

But not doing something you want just because they might approve of it, means they're still shaping your life

Whether it's an act of defence against them or an act of defence against defying them, my life is shaped by them. There's no avoiding it.

They don't have any power over you anymore

Oh don't they?

They're still in all of my decisions, her words and her voice is still in my head when I'm struggling.

They're there when someone leaves dirty dishes out and I cringe or when someone touches my hair without warning

They're all of the unfortunate parts of me, but they're parts of me nonetheless

I'm sorry.

It's fine

I only meant

I don't know what I meant

I know they're there and you've been hurt by them and I know that won't go away. But they don't matter. Your feelings do, and they're valid, but they don't.

I promise if I ever meet a worthwhile wizard, I won't let my family's opinion get in the way

Maybe he'll also be a werewolf, they couldn't possibly approve of that

You know, I somehow think that would definitely be something they wouldn't approve of

Perfect, I'll have my fingers crossed that you fall in love with a wizard werewolf then

Me too

Goodnight, Sirius

Sweet dreams

Chapter Text

I dreamt of you

What?

I had a dream and you were in it

I was?

What was the dream?

It started with just me lying on the floor listening to records. Had a really bad day. And I texted you, but you weren't replying, so I closed my eyes and just tried to focus on the music. And then when I opened my eyes again, you were there.

That could potentially be a nice dream

It was.

Did we just listen to music together?

Uh

Yeah

Yeah?

Just

Really close

That also sounds nice

It was.

I'm taking it

Anyway, good morning

Good morning to you too

Tea?

Chamomile

Mm okay

Yesss

I

Shite

It's here

What?

Your painting

Your painting's here

Oh!!!

Yay!!!

Oh

The painting that you made, your painting, is just lying in my kitchen

Oh oh oh oh oh

Okay

Ooookay

Are you?

Sure

Right, okay, so I'm just gonna

Open it now

Yeah

Okay, do it

Oh

??????????????

It's a good oh

It's an oh wow

Oh, okay

Not what I expected

Not?

When I think of a painting of fruit, I'm imagining something from the renaissance

This is

So much better

Yeah??

It's beautiful, Sirius

You like it?

I love it

The figs are my favourite

The figs, of all of it?

Yeah

They remind me of two young greek boys in love

Young Greek boys?

Oh! You mean my loves, Achilles and Patroclus? I still can't believe anyone in the world but me CARES about those two.

Lots of people care

Have you not read the book?

Oh yeah, I read The Iliad. Homer was a

Was one of the authors my birth parents approved of

No, yeah, obviously you've read the iliad, I meant the book that makes most people actually care, the song of achilles?

No?

Youuuuuu really really really really should

Dunno

I promise you it's worth it. It doesn't ruin anything, it's just a retelling of the story from Patroclus' point of view, and it's all about their love and it's beautiful and heartbreaking and real.

ABOUT their love? Like it acknowledges it in text?

It does a lot more than just acknowledges it, it's the whole point of it

There is a whole book, just about Achilles and Patroclus being in love?

That is what I'm trying to tell you, yes.

Do they kiss???

Tell me they kiss

Tell me there is a book out there that exists in the world in which Achilles and Patroclus actually, without a doubt, definitely kiss.

There is a book out there that exists in the world in which Achilles and Patroclus actually, without a doubt, definitely kiss. A lot more than just once.

OhMygod

Would you like me to send you my copy with the socks?

There's still room in the box

Yes please.

I'll mail it today

No rush

But wow

Wow wow wow

You'll love it

And nobody slaps people they supposedly love?

No

I mean plenty of really awful things still happen

Well, yes, there's war and whatnot

And the ending keeps to the legends?

It ends in the afterlife.

Ooookay

You'll probably cry a lot

Just a warning

Looking forward to it

I'm excited for you

I'm excited to read it

Are you excited for work which you're late for?

F

Yes yes I am thank you bye

Have fun

 

So

I just put the painting up

Up?

Up on my wall

And I saw your note tucked in the back

And I don't really know what to say

Figure it out while I'm still here, I'm not supposed to be on my phone

Was surprised you replied, figured you were maybe on your break

I've been trying to figure it out for half an hour

I think thank you is as close as I'll get

 

Then you're welcome

Hi

Hi

I'm really really glad you like it

I really really do

And I decided against ruining the oranges drawing

Oh you did?

Yes

It's on my wall as well

There are ORANGES? On YOUR wall???

Yes

That is quite flattering

Aha, don't let it get to your head

Am I right to assume that the dog paw in the corner of the painting is your signature?

Yessss

I was expecting a star, but I suppose this works just as well

It's my thing

If you say so, Padfoot

I do

I quite like it

Thank you

Work was good?

Oh yes!

Bit of trouble concentrating, I was still worried you didn't really like the fruit

I told you I did.

Yeah I know

And I don't usually get so nervous like this, I don't know what's wrong with me

Well it is your first commission

True

I really do like it.

Okay

Okay

I think I want to paint more

Good

You should, you’re talented

I've been putting off putting everything away since I did that and I think I just won't

You're an artist, you need your things

Well usually my things don't take up so much space

You're allowed to take up space

Oh

Will you show me what you've painted once you do?

Sure

Only if you'll want to

I'll want to

Okay

Thank you for saying that

You're welcome

What else did you do while I was there?

Studied like the nerd I am

Of course, I should've guessed

Went to the post office

Helped an old lady carry her groceries home

Had a fight with my dad

Ate an apple, I think your painting inspired me to be more healthy

Ate two bars of chocolate and some gummy worms, so I guess not really

Called Alice, but she didn't pick up

Aaand that's about it.

Of course you carried groceries for someone, you're like a nerd superhero.

Sorry about your dad

It’s fine

If my painting inspired you to eat something that grew out of the ground, then it was well worth the effort.

I don't even want to approach the other things you ate

Boo Alice

I'll tell her

Wait no

Too late

Nooooooooo!

Your own fault

It's too late to start monitoring what I say to you

Good, don't

Hmph

There's only about 17,3% chance that she'll actually read the text anyway

Why does she never text? These things are great

Just prefers other methods of communication, I guess

Oh well

Have any grand plans for today?

Oh yes, spa night

Spa night?

I brought home fun things for Lily and I to play with

Oh, nice

Yesss

Enjoy

We willlll

 

Sirius?

Hey!

Did I miss anything?

I don't mean to bother you and interrupt your night

But Alice is still not picking up and

I dunno

Okay

Okay, what can I do?

I just need one nice thing

Just tell me one nice thing

Anything

How about this happy, rescued lion?

There were thirty three of them, circus lions, and they've just been freed and taken to their very own preserve so that they can be taken care of because they're not used to the wild, but they still have all this space to live and thrive and be happy.

Thank you

Was that alright?

Yes

I've always liked lions

Me too

It's being called the largest air lift of lions in history. From south America to south Africa. I've never met a lion in person, can you imagine meeting 33 of them??

I cannot

Let's do that someday. I want to meet a lion.

At least one. Doesn't have to be 33

I'll stand very far away

Nuh uhh, you're gonna pet that lion with me

I told you, animals don't like me

That's not a real thing, Moony, surely

I'm gonna go now

Thank you for this

Okay?

Sorry

Don't be sorry just

If you have to go it's okay

Will I talk to you before bed?

Have your question ready

Alright

 

Hi

Did I say something wrong earlier?

I mean hi

But did I?

I feel like I did, but I don't know if you don't tell me, and if I don't know I'll only wind up saying it again

Or am I being really narcissistic right now, and you just really had to go?

It's been eating me.

I'm sorry.

I wanted to be alone, I just needed to know a nice thing that I could focus on instead of all the bad thoughts. And the way that conversation was heading it would have ended up just being another bad thought

Okay

We don't have to meet any lions

I want you to meet lions

We'll see

Bed soon?

Yeah

For the record, I dislike days where the talking is less

Yeah. Me too.

Questions

Yes, go ahead

You first, tonight

Okay

If I hadn't found the note, would you have told me it's there?

I want to say no. The plan was not to. But I'm me, so that would probably last about a day

I put it back there

I've since got up about four times to reread it, but I always put it back

You did not

I did. I don't know why. I think I just like knowing that those words are written there when I look at the painting.

Well they're all yours

Mine, from you, and you meant them

Yes.

I wrote you a note too

You did?

Is it in the mail??

It's in the mail

Oh that needs to get here now.

Should be there tomorrow or the next day, I paid for the fast delivery because of the

Not telling.

Because of the ??????

Not telling.

I want to knowww

You'll know when you get it

That could be ages!

It won't be ages

Could be

Won't be

Hmph

Question?

What ever happened with the book girl?

I told her I liked her, she said she didn't feel the same way. I asked if we can continue being friends, and she said she'd rather not.

Well fuck that

It's okay, she was kind about it. Had her reasons. And I got over it.

Still think it was an incredibly dumb decision on her part.

You'd stay friends with me?

Yeah

Yes.

Good to know

Would you?

With a friend. Be able to just go back to normal?

Yes.

Her loss

She's better off without me

Everyone is

Remus

It's true

I don't give as much as I take

So I'm just a burden

You're not a burden, you're a person. You're a very important person.

Sure

What is it that you take?

Everything

You don't take from me

I'm just not worth being in anyone's life

I make it worse

Again, I guess I can only speak for myself, but you have yet to make anything worse for me

Yeah

You've been a really positive influence in my life

You too

I'm only grateful that I get to know you

You're a really great person

Remus, are you okay?

No

Can I help?

Can you

No, nothing, sorry

Please

Please finish that first sentence

Can you call me?

And not say anything

Because I don't think I could handle hearing your voice right now

Just be on the line for a bit

Yes

I can stay with you until we fall asleep?

Please, yes

Okay

 

***

 

Thank you for last night.

Thank you too

I didn't do anything

Well

?

This morning

We were still on when I woke up

Oh

You talk in your sleep, I don't know if you know

Yeah, I

I know

What did I say?

Not really sure, I think the phone must have been a bit away from your mouth, and you were mumbling. You didn't like something, I got that much

I don't remember any dreams

Probably best, it didn't sound like a very nice dream

So you're thanking me for my distressed mumbling?

Well, I'd have preferred if it were more pleasant for you but

You have a really

Really good sleepy voice

Oh

Yeah

I still don't think a thank you is necessary

Made my day a lot easier to start

Okay, okay. You're welcome then

Is it alright that I heard?

Yeah, it's alright

Okay good

Because I liked falling asleep like that

Me too.

Soooo

It can maybe happen again?

Definitely

Excellent

Tea, please?

Green

Something peaceful

Okay but mum's not here to stop me from putting sugar in it

Is my seething disapproval not enough?

Nope

Gross

Sweet and yummy

It's green tea

Sweet and yummy is not

Whatever

Be gross, see if I care

Sweet.

And.

Yummy.

Ugh

What did you have for breakfast then?

Toast and a delicious, yummy, sweet, tangy, juicy orange

Gross

Very satisfying

I'd rather eat kale

You take that back

Will not

How dare you

Easy

Anything is better than kale

Nope

Oranges are delicious, I pity you

Are not

Yummmmmm

Ew

Go drink your way too sweet tea

Oh I am

Bleh

Mmm

I'll get green tea on my break and have it The Way The Gods Intended to make up to the universe for your transgression

Enjoy, I suppose

Talk later Moony

If I don't reply right away when you'll be out of work it's because I'm in an exam

Oh!

Good luck!!!!!

You'll be great

Thanks

<3

For good luck

Oh

Thank you


Are you out yet are you out yet are you out yet?

 

Now I am

Yaaaay

How'd it go?

Great, I'm happy with it

Good!!!!

Yesss

Work as good as ever?

Yes, starting to get exhausting, because they've realized I'm good at stocking. Is that a thing a person can be good at? Anyway, I'm doing a lot of that

That's not working with people

I still do, it just means putting things on shelves while I talk to them

Hm okay

I'm okay with it

Well as long as you're not too exhausted to talk to me, I'm okay with it too

Never too exhausted for that

Well accept that time I fell asleep

I'm in no position to blame anyone for sleeping

Very very true

You don't have to be so quick to agree

Oh sorry

Let me think on that a bit

Hmmmm

Yes

You sleep too much

I sleep just the right amount of time

Well it seems like forever

That's because you sleep too little

Not my fault

Didn't say it is

Hmph

I win again

Are you keeping score?

No, though now that you've mentioned it, it's not such a bad idea

Oooof course

I won't count this one yet, to make it more fair

Oh thank you

I'm nothing if not kind

You're lots of things, and also kind

What other things am I?

You're fun, and sweet, and funny, and sarcastic, and rude, and cute, and sharp, and lots of things

Momentarily happy, almost blushing, going to London for the weekend,

What?

Alice called back and said I should come

Take a little break between all the studying

That's great!

Yesss

I'm spending this weekend with Pete's parents

Nooo

I mean, how nice, tell me more

Nooo? I'm sorry

They're in Leeds, we visit them, the three of us, every few months

That's really sweet, that you all go

It's not so bad. Really we go for Wormy. It's hard for him sometimes

May I ask why?

They're under care they're. They were at a facility here in London for a while, but when it was determined that there was no "better" only "consistent", they were moved out so that his aunt could take care of them in the comfort of a family home. She wanted him to go too, but it's hard for him to see them like that. So he maintains their old place here and we just visit sometimes.

I'm sorry it's like that

It is what it is

When are you back?

Sunday afternoon sometime, I think

Some other time, then

Some other time, then what?

Some other time, then what???

Then I buy you some tea

Next time, lie to me and tell me it wouldn't have happened anyway

It probably wouldn't.

Thank you

Not lying.

I know

I don't think I'm ready yet

I think I'm less ready than I was

I think those are nerves

I guess

Or not I don't know

Do you

Do you still want to?

Yes.

Okay.

You're more important every day

It would have been easy a week ago

There's weight to it now

Sorry

What??

I dunno

It's not a bad thing

Sure

You feel that you being important to me is a bad thing?

It's bad for you

It very much is not

Not weight, like a burden. Weight, like it matters. It's tangible and real.

Okay

It's only a positive feeling

Okay

What are you and Alice going to get up to?

She wants to go out

What does that entail?

Me drinking in a corner while she dances

You don't dance?

Um

No

But you'll go with her anyway

Well

Yeah, of course?

Because you're a good friend

Yeah

And what will you be drinking while she's dancing?

Whatever she'll buy me

So principled

Probably whiskey

Good answer

Glad you approve

You have my blessing

How incredibly kind you are

You have to tell me where you go once you've been

Have to?

Want you to

Maybe

I'll take it

I have to go study now

Talk before bed?

Yes please


One thing that made you smile today?

James told me he'd miss me before he left and reminded me I can text him

Aww

It was nice

Sounds it.

Do you think I'm dependant?

How do you mean?

I dunno

Nevermind

No, tell me

Please?

I don't know how to put it. I think I need people more than they need me?

There's nothing wrong with needing people.

Yeah

There isn't.

I think you are, in a way. I think you need people around you and you don't like being alone and you need someone to reassure you that you're not. Or that they'll always be there for you, that you can call them, that they'll come back, that you can lean on them. That you're loved. You could live without that, you could survive on your own, no doubt about it. You're strong, and you're brave. But why would you put yourself through that if you don't have to? And maybe James finds it easier to spend time on his own, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't need you. And even if he wouldn't, he still wants you, he still chooses you. And I think that matters more.

Oh

I like that

Just how I see it.

I like the being chosen

Only an idiot wouldn't choose you

Do consider yourself an intelligent person?

Quite

Mmm

Goodnight, little star

Goodnight Moony

 

***

 

Mornings are the worst

Are not

Good morning

I demand a different greeting

GOOD MORROW, PUMPKIN!

No

Morning Moony

Hmm okay

Bad night's sleep?

Yeah

Kept waking up

Could have messaged me

Didn't wanna ruin your sleep too

I wouldn't have minded

Checked the mail yet?

Not yet, do you think it could be here???

I'm going

Well they said one day or two, and it's been two

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is it there?

Yes

It is it is it is

Ohhhkay suddenly I'm nervous

Oh please

I'm not claiming it makes sense

Moonyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Whaaat

<3<3<3<3<3

Money's in one of the socks

Oh

Oh the socks are so perfect

Yeah?

So

Wow

Glad you like them

I love them

And the note

Good, good, okay

This is

Remus, we agreed on a scale

This is way too much

No it's not

It is

I can't

It's not.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

This is a lot

Just sit down and eat a scone

Okay

Oh wow

Mum insisted, she saw me with the box

Your mum is the best

The best

I'll tell her

Yes tell her that

I'll go tell her right now

What tea would you like with those scones?

I'd love something herbal with these

Hmm okay

Yessss

M

Christ

What??

I told her

Good

And?

And she's singing 'simply the best'

Awwwwww!

You're both the worst

Ssh, don't interrupt me Moony, I'm singing with your mother

Tell me you're not

I can't lie to you

Incredible

Thanks

No not really!

I accept your compliment

No take-backsies

Who says that

Me

I can't believe I like a person who says take-backsies

Awww I like you too

Mhm

And your mum

Yeah yeah she likes you too

Yessssss

I'm leaving the room so that this can stop now

Noooooo

No?

Fine

Talk to her then

What

Hello, dear. How long do you think it's going to take our Remus to remember that I have an infinite supply of embarrassing stories about him I could tell, and giving me his phone was a very foolish idea?

Long enough for you to get a good head start

Hello, by the way, it is exceptionally nice to meet you

Nice to meet you too, I'm Hope, I've heard so many nice things about you! And I saw your painting, you are a very very talented young person.

Oh thank you! Your scones are amazing.

You can get more anytime. Okay now, let's see. Did Remus tell you much about when he was little? He was such a lively kid, he used to keep the whole street up all night with his singing, he'd do little duets with Bunny, put up a whole show.

When he was five he saw a movie where the kids sold lemonade, so he got it into his head that he needs a stand as well, so Lyall put one together for Remus and all his friends.

And it all would have been alright, if Remus wouldn't have suddenly decided that he dislikes lemons and oranges, and tried making a lemonade out of tomatoes and strawberries instead, so it ended up looking like he was selling jugs of blood.

The first time that he ever sjfkdhgjjjk

I dislike you both very much.

Put my new best friend back on the phone Moony! She wasn't done!

I will do no such thing

It's not very nice to interrupt people in the middle of a very stimulating conversation!

I never claimed to be a nice person

Hmph!

Wish me good luck for today's exam

Good luck!!!

<3

Thankyou

You're going to do great, Moony, you've studied, you've got this

Thanks. Have a nice day at work

Thank you

 

 

You were right, I did great

 

Yeah??!?

Knew you would!

Got good questions

Sure, it was the questions

No, it was me. I'm not saying I got easy questions, I'm saying I liked them

Good

What were the ones you liked?

All about ancient greece and rome and also all the french revolutions

Eclectic

You wonderful nerd

Can't bring me down today

I would never ever dream of trying to bring you down

Help keep me up, tell me about your day

I taught today

What does that mean

It means it was a slow day, and some of my colleagues didn't quite know WHY certain ingredients do certain things, so I kind of gave an unofficial retraining

Know it all

I thought everyone did though

Well now they do

True, true

Professor Sirius

Not as catchy as Professor Lupin

Oh

It's nice, right?

I like it

Rolls off the tongue

Well, I guess you can't hear it rolling off my tongue, but trust me, it sounds great

You said it out loud?

Still saying it out loud

Okay I'm gonna try

Yessss

Hm. Not bad

I quite like it

Professor Lupin

Professor Moony

Professor Moony Lupin

Professor R.J. Moony

Okay maybe I really like it

Me too

I think I'm going to start tutor again

Yeah???

Yeah.

What will you tutor?

Whatever anyone needs

Except chemistry

Of course

Because that's the worst

YOUR worst, maybe

THE worst

Who hurt you

Do you want the whole list?

That would be a hit list, better not

Wouldn't want to make you a murderer

I can't go to prison, Moony. Imagine what it would do to my hair. They don't have Lush in prison.

So spoiled

Yes, I need to be

You should be

Not to a bratty degree, not anymore

Anymore?

Oh I used to be a right terror. When I first got to school, it was so bad. Posh as The Queen's hat, entitled and an outright brat. James and Peter saw that right out of me

Thank god for them

I do

Tell me more about school, I think I'm ready to hear about it now

Oh

Well I don't really know what to say. It was the three of us and two other boys in the dorm. And they were great, we got along well enough. But James and Pete and I were inseparable. It was my Place. I hated summers and holidays. I just wanted to exist there forever.

Describe one day

We'd wake up and get dressed, inevitably help Wormy find all the pieces of his uniform, which managed to wind up in spectacular places for reasons we never determined. Head to breakfast, which was satisfactory every day. Really, bordering on lavish, but like I said, by the time I got there, I was over spoiled in that manner. We had a few classes each day. Most weren't ordinary classes, skill classes, I guess you could say. Lunch and dinner just as extravagant as breakfast. I always took it for granted, living with my birth parents and then living with James'. I'm missing it now. We'd go for walks a lot. A lot. We had our long term project, mapping out the school. And it was in a castle, so that meant lots of secrets. We probably didn't find all of them, but we found more than enough. We went on cartography excursions after hours, usually a few times a week.

Wow

We were pretty great

You mapped out the school. Was that when you started drawing?

It was, actually

That sounds really cool

Mapped out an entire castle

Fuck, I'd love that

You'd have fit right in with us

Yeah

Could've kept us on track, that's for sure. We had a tendency to tangent for weeks at a time

Of course you did

We'd get stuck on the idea that there MUST be a secret passageway RIGHT THERE, and we'd fixate on it until we had to concede that even if there was, we weren't getting in. But once we had the idea that it was THERE it was so hard to move on

Oh yeah, I could do that, I could keep you moving

Yeah?

Pretty sure of it

Would've been great

Still was for you

It was

Tell me something completely unrelated to all of that now

Like what?

Like

Like how do you eat chips

With my mouth

Har har

Prongs eats them with vinegar and Wormy has them with ketchup and I think they're both gross

So just salt??

And not too much of that

So boring

The word you're looking for is 'refined'

Whateveeeer

How do you?

Salt and vinegar and then either ketchup or barbeque sauce

Or both

Oh sweet wonders, what does both mean?

What do you mean both?

Oh no

Both means both

Whyyyy

Because it's tasty

I do not believe you

Try

No, because then I'd have to imagine it

Oh, you don't believe me that I eat them like that?

I don't want to

Well

Tough

Because I do and it's delicious

If you say so

I do say so

Gross

Is not

Peter puts peanut butter on his chocolate chip cookies

Good man

Ugh

The crunchy kind though, yeah?

He refuses to see the merits of crunchy peanut butter

Crunchy is the only acceptable kind??

Thank you. He's always whining because that's all James and I keep around

Well you could keep the normal one around for him

Sometimes we do

Good

We're not heartless

Oh I know that

As long as you know

I do, I do

How much longer do I have you for?

All evening

How would you feel about extended questions? Just back and forth until I'm okay to sleep?

I'd be okay with that

It's too quiet here, even with the music

What are you listening to?

Kinks

Mind if I join you?

Please

Favourite song from it?

You have to promise not to be mean about it.

Why would I be mean about it?

Is it prince of the punks?

That's a close second

And the first is?

Lola

Ah, the most obvious one

Yes, but I didn't know that when I first heard it

When did you hear it first?

I was fifteen and I listened to the whole album without knowing it was even a Thing

Okay, I suppose that's okay then

And the first few times I heard it I didn't even hear the lyrics, I just thought it was catchy. And then it clicked. And I had a lot of feelings about it.

Understandable.

Your favourite?

Where have all the good times gone

Well they're right here, Moony

Took their sweet time getting here

So impatient

I can be

Can we sync up?

Side two in 10?

Yes

Okay, count

Okay

Are you doing anything else, or just listening?

Taking off nail polish. Highly interesting stuff

I can never be bothered

I just let it get chipped off

I envy you

I love how it looks when it's like that

But you can't stand it on yourself?

Nope

Sometimes, I rebel, and let a little bit chip off. But then I wind up here, on this couch, with cotton swabs and acetone.

Alice is the same

Has she tried acrylics?

I don't know what that means

The ones that are not real nails that they put on your nails

Yeah, I don't think she'd do well with those either

Same

Oh well

I'm trying to reorganize my bookshelf

How are you organizing?

I have no idea

Right now I'm just staring at it

I'll probably give up before I really start

Noooo don't give up

This happens at least once a week, don't worry about it

I'll try

It's not like it actually needs to be organized that badly, it's in a pretty okay state

How is it organized now?

Isn't

How do you find anything?

I just ac

I just do

I like that shelf

Me too

It started with just the short one in the middle

And then I kept adding to it

I love that

And I appreciate the courtesy ladder for people who aren't trees

I'm not that tall

Aren't youuuuu

No

You're just exceptionally short

You're just exceptionally rude

I've been told that before

By me, at least

Yeeeah, I'm gonna give up now

Boooo

Don't boo me

Hiss

Are you hissing at me?

Maybe?

Maybe don't hiss at a person with a snake tattoo?

You have a snake one?

Yeah

A small one on my back

How small? Where?

Like two and a half inches maybe

Bottom of the right shoulder blade, under the eagle

Do you have a lot of animals?

Four

So there's

The lion

The snake

The eagle

And one more, yes

Why those?

Because.

Because

Yes, because.

You're not going to tell me

I'm not

Why not??

Because I don't want to

Because it's pathetic

Because you'd call me a nerd

Hey, when I call you that do you think it's a bad thing?

What, no

Good.

I won't think you're pathetic

I'd really rather not talk about it

Then you don't have to

But I wouldn't ever think that

Okay

Questions?

How many blankets do you sleep with?

One, and a sheet. But I kick them off sometimes

What about in the winter?

Then I don't kick them off as much

And you're not cold?

I overheat in my sleep

I have five

Five.

I get cold

Five?????

And my feet are still cold

Switch with meeeee

Take my body heat

What if I just borrowed it for a bit

That would be okay

Deal.

Where is your favourite place in your house that's not your room?

Kitchen

Why?

It has the food

Ooooof course

Whaaat

I was going to say "And 'because that's where the food is' is not an answer"

It's warm

Not in the temperature way

Well, that too, usually, but

Yeah

You do not have to defend your answer

But I like that one too

What's your favourite holiday?

Halloween

Why?

The vibrance. The festivity. The excuse to dress extravagantly

What is your favourite costume you've ever worn?

A few years ago, I had this outfit that

Well I could change out with just a quick motion

I was duly Christine Daae and The Phantom.

Ohhh nice

It was soooo good

Tell me more?

James went as Raoul and spent the evening fighting me and wooing me in turns. There's a chance we were a bit on the dramatic side

A 100% chance

A really good chance

Who did Pete go as?

He didn't

That was the year

He was away suddenly, earlier that fall. He wrote the whole time he was gone, but he didn't tell us what had happened until he got back

That's how I wound up with both parts

Do you always do group costumes?

Yes

Nice

My next favourite was the year we went as each other

Ooof course you did that

It was fantastic

I bet

I was a better Pete than Pete

But there's no way James was a better Sirius

There is much dispute on this matter

I'd expect so

I maintain I made a better Peter

How was he as James?

He had the easy job, it doesn't count

That's not fair

Yeah yeah yeah

I'm gonna take his side on this one

Hmph

More questions, or are you going to bed?

Do those have to be mutually exclusive?

*To sleep

I've been in bed for a while

Me too

What does your pillow smell like?

Like a mix of washing detergent, my shampoo, and

Me? I suppose

Mmm okay

Yours?

Mostly like Lush things and damp cotton

And you

And me

But I don't really know how to describe that

Whatever it's like I'm sure it's nice

I trust your judgement

What are you pyjamas like?

You're assuming I wear pyjamas

Please tell me you do

I'm home alone, I have no need to

Ughhhhhhh

They're soft, thin material. Like silk but not silk. Not sure what it is, but it feels nice and cool

Colour?

Black

Okay I was gonna say they sound posh before, but now they really do

How is black posh?

Other than the obvious answer

Pjs are supposed to be fun

They are supposed to be for sleep???

Yes, but fun

Are yours fun?

When I'm wearing them, yes

That I do not doubt

Nooot how I meant it

;)

Some days my skin feels too

I don’t know

I just can't stand anything

Okay

So what do they feel like then?

Just wear a tshirt

Oh

What's the t-shirt?

A really old, really worn band one

What band?

The smiths

Sounds comfy

It's the best option

What do you want to dream about?

You

W

Okay

What about me?

Anything

That's a dangerous vagueness

Something nice

A bit better

What do you want to dream about then?

Being not alone in this stupid way-too-big bed in this way-too-quiet flat

Call me

Yes.

Chapter Text

Good morning

And to you as well

Sleep okay?

Very.

You?

I actually did

Good

You sounded like you were dreaming much nicer things this time

Yeah?

I think so

Better sounding mumbling?

Precisely

Don't remember anything today either

Do you usually?

Lots of times, yeah

Tell me about a really good, recent one?

A couple of days back I dreamt that Alice and I went on a road trip around Europe

Ohh that sounds fun

It was

I'm in, when you do it

Oh, you're just going to invite yourself along, huh?

Someone needs to keep you warm, and I don't trust a car's heater to do an adequate job

Good point

Plus, if the stereo breaks, I'll sing really horribly to fill the silence, so there's entertainment too

I'm multi-talented

Can you also fix it if it breaks down?

Oh, I can! Hey that's a genuine skill I could provide

Okay, you're in

I guess we're gonna need a car that fits six people

Six?

Me and you, Alice, James because I doubt you two could live without each other for that long, Lily so that James doesn't whine, and Peter.

Remus

What?

Okay. Six person vehicle.

Okay.

Nothing

Yes, I know it's not very likely that it will ever actually happen

That's not what I was going to say

Okay

Class?

Just meeting the group today to go over what everyone did for the project

Oh good luck

Yeeeah we'll see

Maybe they'll pleasantly surprise you

Let's hope so

Have a good day at work

Thank you

Don't strangle classmates



Not all of it was completely horrible. I did my best to fix it

 

That's good, all things considered

Yeah

Presentation tomorrow

You'll do great

I'm not too worried about it

Good

Work was good?

Yes

Played more with colours

Home now?

Yes, lying on the table

Lying on the table.

It's comfy

Comfier than the bed or the sofa?

Right now yes

Well alright then, to each their own I suppose

I just came up here to stretch out but then it was comfy

When does James get home?

Maybe tomorrow

Oh, alright

Then clearly you have to take advantage of all this uninterrupted table sitting

Exactlyyyy

Any big plans for this afternoon/evening?

Nope

What's your favourite place in London?

A place I'd like to take you

Your second favourite, then

Queen Mary’s garden

Okay, go there

And just be there for a while

What, now?

Yes, you have no plans and you don't like being home alone. Go and exist there for a bit

And then on Sunday when Alice is gonna be hungover and sleep even longer than I do, I can go and exist there for a bit

Well

Okay

Good

This is weird

Why?

Doesn't feel like I'm going alone

Oh

Yeah

Well. Good.

Bad service here, text you in a bit

Enjoy the roses


Moony

Yes?

Why

Didn't I bring anything to draw with

????

I don't know, but it was a very poor decision on your part

Soooooo poor

This is hell

Right, but you're still you

And there must be other people there

Surely someone has some paper and a pencil

Okay so we're just gonna do this, okay

Yes.

1

2

4

What happened to 3?

There were two very sweet girls who said no at the same time

5

6

7 will say yes

!!!!!!!

No paper

But we have a canvas

Sure, sure, they just gave you a whole canvas

And we're sharing oil paint

Enjoy creating

I will


 

You're art

I'm art

I like it

Thank you

Must be some painting

Maybe

I expect a full critique upon arrival

Upon ar

What??

Arrival

When it gets there

Once you receive it

You're sending me the painting

You're sending me the painting??

Yes

I mean, can I? Is that okay?

Yes!

Yes, that's very okay

Okay

It'll be on its way tomorrow

I'll make room for it on my wall

It's a bit smaller than the last

Oh, then I have a perfect spot for it

Where?

Above the bedside table

Excellent

That is, if it's pretty

Oh

I think so

I'm certain it is, Sirius

We'll see

I'll see, you already know

We'll see if you like it

I'm sure I will

What did you do, meanwhile

Take a wild guess

Studying like a nerrrrrrd

Ding ding ding

In your nerdy room with your nerdy bookshelf and your nerdy glasses going over your nerdy notes

Yes

Yes?

Yes that's all correct

Oookay

What?

You ever imagine something too hard? And then you have to spend a few minutes reorienting yourself to reality?

Lots of times

I'm experiencing a bit of that

I just have two more pages to read and then I'm all yours

Fh)hjjl

Sorry, caught it

Okay

Take your time

...alright

Going to get changed in the meantime

Don't tell me that when I'm trying to focus??

What? I'M being distracting???

Go read your two pages

Fine, but I'll think of your naked arse the entire time

M

Whatever helps you remember the information, Pumpkin

 

Okay I'm done, are you decent?

Do you promise not to look if I'm not?

I do not

Rude

I maintain that as long as we're just texting, you have no idea what state of dress my arse is in, ever

When I'm home anyway

Neither do you

Right well

That's

Something.

Mmmhm

Well. I tried. Oh well

Moony 1, Padfoot 0

Moony 3, Padfoot 0

When did I miss two of my wins?

Don't worry about it. Moony 3, Padfoot 0

Hmm okay

So you're all mine now, then?

Yup

That's unfortunate

Why is that unfortunate?

Because I wish I were less tired in order to enjoy that

Want to do questions before you accidentally fall asleep way too early?

Yes

Hmph

You first

What's your absolute favourite thing your mum makes?

Stew

What kind?

Vegetable

But it has dumplings, so that's something

I'll have to be the judge of that someday

I used to pick all the vegetables out of the chicken one she often made, but then this one time I just couldn't stand the idea of eating meat for like half a year, and this was the best best best thing

That's nice, then, I can accept this

What's your favourite dessert?

Your mum's scones

Kissarse

Come up with a good line for me in your head

Mmm good one, you're quite clever

I'm so clever

The most clever

Do I get to know what I said?

Nope

Course not

You almost asleep?

I think so

Would you like to call me?

Yes yes please

Okay


"Um...Sirius?"

"..."

"Okay, you're asleep. I don't want to hang up, but my battery is dying, so..."

"..."

"Goodnight, little star."

 

***

 

Good morning

My battery died last night, I didn't just hang up on you.

Oh okay

I thought I must've rolled over the end call button

Nah

That's okay

Too warm to get up and find the charger

Sure, sure

Is it going to be alive today?

Yes, there's plenty of time for it to charge before I have to go to uni

Okay good

Did you sleep well?

Also, tea?

Very well

I never sleep this well when I have the flat to myself

Hibiscus

Mm okay

Yes please

Hibiscus and scones

Perfeeeect

Quite

I want

Come here and get it

You're taunting me with scones, I'm ready to hop on a train

They're fresh out of the oven

Still warm

Mmmm

Very

Someday

Someday what?

I'm going have those scones fresh out of the oven.

Oh is that so?

Yes

Well okay

For now, you enjoy them

Oh I am

Good

Oh My gosh

These are the ones I had to change out of because they weren't foresty enough for your highness

Well you should have said they were so adorable

I mentioned cats, you could have assumed

Don't assume I assume

It was heavily implied they were adorable

Well I hereby approve of the cat socks

I'm glad they finally have your blessing

You're welcome

Mhm

And what are they being paired with today?

˝Paired with˝, sure

I'm wearing jeans and a cardigan

Cute

Sure

What are you wearing?

An old t-shirt which I'm hoping comes off as artfully torn up and these faux leather trousers

I'm never asking you that again

Well rude

You sound too hot for your own good

So I've been told

Oh great, so it's true

I wouldn't know

That's a bit hard to believe

Eh

But it's a little different when you say it

Would you rather I not?

No, it's better when you say it

It's more like when James and Pete say it

I used to get it a lot, too much. When I didn't want it. From people I didn't want it from. It lost its meaning.

Okay.

Pick a lip colour

Blue

Perfect

I hope the compliments you'll get will feel nice

I'm working on letting them be

Good, you deserve to enjoy them

Hey Moony?

Yeah?

You, and your cat socks and your cardigan, also sound way too hot for your own good

Don't forget my skinny jeans

Uh huh uh huh okay sure uh huh

You left that detail out before

Saying jeans is not saying skinny jeans.

I didn't think it mattered

How

How can it not have mattered???

It's just jeans

No apparently they're not

They're SKINNY jeans

As in SKIN tight

As in allllll that leg

Says the person wearing leather

Oh you can probably see the dimples in my arse cheeks in these, that's beside the point.

Allllll that leeeeeeg

That is

Not beside the point

See???? See why these details are important???

Yeah yeah alright, you’ve made your point

I've changed my mind, you're not too hot for your own good

You're too hot for my good

Have you considered I'm not hot at all?

Considered and dismissed

There's too much evidence

And it's for me to decide

Well as long as it was considered

Think about me while I'm working

Oh I will



Presentation went well

 

Tell me about it!

Well it didn't go THAT well

Many inaccurate things were still said, but oh well I guess

Ughhh okay

How was work?

Alright

What happened?

I'm not special and new anymore, my hours are being cut along with everyone else's

I'm sorry

I don't agree with the not special comment though

I find you more special the less new you get

 

Sirius?

Did I say something wrong?

Try to think of it as having more time to paint now

I mean that's your main goal, anyway, isn't it?

You're an artist.

And a damn good one at that.

You didn't say anything wrong

Okay

I'm sorry, I should have told you to give me a minute

I just wanted that to stay there on the screen for a while

Oh

Well then I'm sorry I sent all of that so that you now have to scroll to get back to it

Here

The more I know you, the more special you are to me.

Thank you

I like that

Just the truth

I'm okay with the hours loss, really. I can work more on the bike, which I've been neglecting

So many bright sides to this

Yeah

More bike time, more painting time, more Moony time

Ohhh, I like that one

Thought you might

Definitely

 

What does one wear when going out?

I'm trying to pack a little for tomorrow, and Alice is always mean about my clothing choices

Those skinny jeans.

And?

A shirt that's not a cardigan, probably

Yes, cardigans and jumpers are apparently problematic

Well I think that's very rude

But you could try a t-shirt that you feel fits nicely

And a jumper.

Do you have any you won't get in trouble for?

There's one she'd probably approve of, but it's itchy

Then not that one

What about a shirt shirt

And I could roll up the sleeves a bit

Depends on what kind

If you'd wear it to church, put it aside

Bit tight for church

Okay keep talking.

It's dark blue

Mhm

I'll take it with me but I'll also take the jumper and decide tomorrow

Okay good

Hmm okay I guess that's that then

Remind me to pack the toothbrush in the morning

I will try

Thanks

No problem

How are you feeling?

Okay

Okay

Very mellow

James not back yet?

Says he'll be back soon, Lily too

That's good

Yeah

Oh

You're packed

I have to pack

Somehow I have a feeling your packing is gonna take a bit longer

If I start now, I should be done by midnight

That's

Long

Not terribly

Hours.

How long were you doing it?

Twenty minutes

For the whole thing?

Yes

Okay

Twenty minutes

Yeah

I could do that

I could totally pack in twenty minutes

I'm gonna do it

It's only one day

 

There. Done. Nineteen minutes and thirty-four seconds.

Congratulations

Now what did you forget?

Everything.

It's all wrong.

I'm starting over.

Good luck

Thanks

<3

Oh

For luck

Thank you!

You're welcome

I can't decide whether I want to take all of it, or none of it

All of it

That's going to be so heavy

I'll have to put a

I'll have to use a different suitcase

Better than regretting not bringing it

True, true

Are you driving there?

We're taking a train and his aunt is picking us up

Oh, nice

Should be

I like riding trains, they're good for taking naps

I can never sleep, I'm afraid I'll miss something outside if I do

Grass and trees and sheep

Pretty and pretty and pretty

The first time, maybe

But what if lightning strikes the ground right in front of you? What if, instead of sheep, there's a herd of great, majestic elephants? You'll never know, you'll be asleep!

What a shame

Can't take that chance

I can

Hmph

Packed yet?

Almost

So nowhere close to done?

Not really, no

Don't let it stress you out too much

Suuuuure

Did you make a list?

I don't need to

It might help

Nahh

I have one, it's in my head

Alright

Also, the losers are home now

Hello losers

They say "hi nerd"

Well Lily does, James is trying to take my pphone

not going to happen

Take your phone so that you stop talking to me or so that he can?

Doesn't matter

not happening

Okay

I'm in hiding

Where are you hiding?

My room

Okay

But

You've waited days for them to come back, wouldn't you rather be with them?

Oh I will, once he stops whining for the phone

What if it's important

Then he'd say "this is important"

And you'd believe him?

It's James, I know when it's for real

Must be nice

It is

Go be with him

I'm gonna go take a shower

Okay but I'm hiding the phone until you get out



Moons?

yeah

Just checking to see if you were there

im here

Have a nice shower?

long

That can be nice

can be yea

It was long enough for me to finish packing

congrats

Thank you very much

mhm

Did you want some space?

no

Okay

Just, I was waiting for you to say you were out and you didn't, so maybe I shouldn't have

Dunno

no

i'm sorry i

i've just been sitting here i didn't

i didn't think

Hey, that's okay

Is something wrong?

yes

no

idk

What can I do?

nothing

i'll be fine

i just need to get up off this cold wet floor

Are you on the bathroom floor?

yeah

Okay, we've moved into worry, what's going on?

nothing

Remus

Okay you don't have to tell me what's wrong. But can you answer indirect questions for me?

yeah

Are you safe?

yes

Did you choose to be on the floor?

didn't fall

That wasn't the question

i just

i was in the shower and the water got really cold or it's been cold for a while i don't know i lost track of time so i got out and wrapped myself in a towel and sat down and now i'm sitting here

Please get dressed?

Or at least into bed?

Somewhere that's warm and dry

ok

Thank you

Thank you

 

in pjs in bed

I wish you'd tell me

Sorry. Of course you don't have to.

I just want to be here for you

nothing's wrong, not like that

Something isn't right

me

No

clearly yes

Not clear to me.

i'm going to try to sleep

B

Okay

can we still do questions

Yes

you go first

When was the first time you saw The Princess Bride?

i was five. it was on tv and we just caught the ending. then dad went and bought it and we all watched the whole thing the next day, and then again next week, and the next, and the next. we'd do other things, like play games and things, but it was always on in the background

That's really nice

was

have you started either of the books yet?

James just brought over this one, I forgot it in his car when he drove me home from mum and dad’s

I wanted to read it before The Song, since I promised it first

okay

I'll start it first thing in the morning

as you wish

Your turn?

is there a book you really like that i could read?

Dunno

I've always loved stories, but my tutors beat the love of reading out of me before I could do much of it

sorry

I had a book of Aesop's Fables when I was little. Regulus and I would take turns reading a random one to each other, but never really reading it. We'd take the story and make it into something outrageous, something with characters and adventures. I liked that book.

I remember some of those

Which?

The boy who cried wolf, the lion in love, the deer without a heart, the dog and the wolf, the walnut tree.. Probably some others, too

Pick one

The dog and the wolf

There once was a well respected businessman named Mr. Dog. He had a comfortable office in a comfortable building where he could comfortably do his work every day. One night he'd been working late and it was raining, and he was driving home when he passed a lonely soul on the road. It was quite a far walk to the next point of civilization in the direction the man was walking, so Mr. Dog pulled over and asked him to get in. "How do I know you're not an ax murderer?" The man asked, standing on the other side of the open window.  He had wild hair, which the rain ran off of in rivulets, and sharp features, but kind eyes. Mr. Dog retorted, "How do I know YOU'RE not?" They appraised each other for a moment before the drenched stranger finally pulled the door handle to let himself into the car. He introduced himself as Mr. Wolf. They talked while they drove. Mr. Dog figured he could safely drop Mr. Wolf off at the next gas station or something. But he found himself mesmerized by all of the things Mr. Wolf had to say. He talked about his travels as a wandering musician. "But you have no instruments with you, how can you make music?"  Mr. Wolf explained that he makes the music out of whatever he sees around him. Sometimes it's trash bin lids, sometimes it's a makeshift string instrument made out of recycled materials, sometimes it's just his own voice. Mr. Dog asked if Mr. Wolf would sing him something. He did. And Mr. Wolf had the most beautiful voice Mr. Dog has ever heard. Before he knew it, Mr. Dog had driven all the way home. "You can stay here the night, unless you had somewhere else to be." But Mr. Wolf never had anywhere to be. Mr. Dog made them both dinner, and Mr. Wolf howled and raved about how amazing it tasted. "I haven't had a home cooked meal in years!" And then Mr. Dog set up a bed for Mr. Wolf on the sofa, and Mr. Wolf laid down -in the spare pyjamas provided by Mr. Dog- and sighed in deep comfort. "I can't remember the last time I slept with a proper blanket." Both of the men slept very well that night. The next morning, Mr. Dog was waiting for Mr. Wolf in the kitchen with fresh coffee. "This is the best coffee I've ever tasted in my life." Mr. Dog sat Mr. Wolf down. He'd spent the morning really thinking hard. He said to Mr. Wolf, "You know this doesn't have to be such an anomaly. You can have this all the time." Mr. Wolf was astonished and demanded to know how. "Come work with me in my office. We have an opening and I'm in charge of hiring, I can give you the job." Mr. Wolf was so grateful for Mr. Dog's generosity. He accepted at once, and left that morning for work with Mr. Dog. He spent the day in training, learning to work the office's system. But when his legs itched to wander, he was told to mind the clock and wait for his lunch break. And when he began singing, as he always did in times of toil, a woman told him to "shush". When it was time to leave that night, he threw his arms around Mr. Dog in a heartfelt hug. "Thank you, Mr. Dog, for this opportunity. But this is not the life I was meant to live. I need to be where I can explore, and roam, and be musical. There's no place for me here." Mr. Dog was upset. He really liked Mr. Wolf, and had been looking forward to his company. But he understood that anything that made Mr. Wolf less himself was not something he would like Mr. Wolf to do. And so they parted, but they remained good friends. When Mr. Wolf was away, he always sent post cards with long messages about his travels. Mr. Dog hung every one on his refrigerator with magnets. And when Mr. Wolf was in the area, they went out for brunch every weekend to catch up, and maybe so that Mr. Wolf could sing some of his newest creations to Mr. Dog.

I like that they stayed friends.

They always stay friends in my versions

Thank you.

Anytime, Moony

Not just for the story

Well 'anytime' for any of it

I don't want to go to sleep anymore

Yeah?

Yeah

I'm up with you

Yeah?

Yes

I'm excited about tomorrow

Yes! That's great! Tomorrow is going to be great. No dad, no stuck in the house, just Alice and doing fun stuff in London

Yes.

What else are you going to do besides go out?

She said she'd just like to hang out

What does that entail?

Walking around and talking

That sounds even nicer

Should be

It's going to be a good time

Yeah

I'm looking forward to making Wormy's aunt as uncomfortable as possible without being overly rude about it

Explain

She's a bit stuffy and disapproving. Not in an evil way like my parents, but in a "no shoes on the carpets, keep your flamboyance to yourself" way

Well I agree with no shoes on the carpets, but that's because it's way nicer to be barefoot

Yeah but once it's a rule, nothing seems more comfortable than shoes

I guess

Ah well

Tell me more about Pete

Pete is the best

He's our evil genius. He's got the best knack for causing maximum damage with minimal cost, came in handy so much in school. He's one of the smartest people I know, he just somehow managed to not prove that to any test he ever met. I think he's working at a department store right now, he's kind of got a new job every week. He's ace. He gives the warmest hugs. He can't cook for shite but he always pays for the takeout after he tries.

You have a good group

We really really really do

I hope you're kind to outsiders

How so?

For example if I hung out with you all, would I feel welcome?

Well apart from the fact that you'd fit right in anyway, of course you'd be welcome

We're people people

We'd do everything we can to make you feel comfortable with us

And not in the way that it's painfully obvious you're trying to?

I didn't say we'd try

Okay

We would, under no circumstances, be condescending or intentionally kind. It's just how it would be

Okay. Good.

Everyone already likes you and can't wait to meet you

That's a bit hard to believe

To be fair they're mostly spending time trying to decide how best to embarrass me when they do

Oooh that I like

Don't I give you enough of that already??

Nope, there can never be too much

Rude Moony!

Am not

So are

Nu uh

Yuh huh

Nu uh

Can I ask you something?

Yes

Even though I'm not exactly alone in the flat tonight, could I call you anyway?

Yes

Now okay?

Yes

 

"Sirius?"

"..."

"Thank you for tonight. Sleep tight."


***


Moonpie!

When do you leave?

Half an hour ago

Oh

Safe travels

I would've texted, but I had to run to catch the train. Now I'm gonna nap so bye for a few hours

Fiiine sleep well

Thank you, little star

Text when you're up


Mup

Sure you are

I am I am

How's the ride?

Almost over

Mine's just started

Better stop texting and start staring out the window, you wouldn't want to miss any elephant herds and lightnings

I can multitask

Works for me

I will definitely tell you if I see elephants

I would hope so

You excited?

Yesss

What are you doing first?

Brunch

The finest meal of the day

Hardly

Brunch is the best of two worlds, what are you talking about?

Which two worlds?

Breakfast and meals that don't happen quickly on your way out of the house

Eh

Don't you "eh" brunch

They just don't offer that much food-wise

Depends on where you are

Alright, describe a good brunch

It's all the pastry you want from breakfast with all the meats and cheeses you want from lunch

Detailed description

When we do it, it's assorted miniature muffins and croissants, or waffles, if Lily's cooking, with eggs however you'd like them, sausage, bacon, ham and other sandwich meats, sliced extra thin for me, and a salad, or salad fixings with an array of dressing choices.

Those are the basics, it's some variation of that, usually

I still think I prefer lunch and dinner

Noted.

Good, it's a useful note

That's why it's noted

Good.

What's your favourite kind of food?

Warm things you can eat with a spoon

So soup and stew.

Basically, yes

Soup is the thing that comes before the real food

Don't insult soup

I love soup

As a starter

Fine fine

I prefer meat and potatoes to pasta

Slightly better

So not Italian then

I still like it a lot, it's just not at the top of my list

Hmmm okay

Also noted

As for desserts, you can't miss with chocolate

Chocolate anything?

Yes

Cake, mousse, ganache, ice cream, anything

Covered oranges

No.

:)

No.

;)

No.

No kiss goodnight for people who buy me dinner that includes oranges

Okay

Noted.

Good.

No elephants so far, but I haven't lost hope

You should never lose hope

Alice is demanding my full attention, talk to you later?

Yes

Give her my love

She says "Hi star boy, bye star boy."

Always with the hello/goodbyes, this Alice

Have a good rest of the ride<3

Thank you

Chapter Text

Got there alright?

Well no, but everything is okay

What happened?

Unexpected delay. We spent an extra hour waiting, we can only assume, for a repair of some sort

That's trains for you

o

Oh that's really pretty

Who had the honour of braiding it?

A combined effort by James and Peter

They did a fine job

I think so

Hurts a bit from the tugging but I really really like it

It's lovely

Thank youuuu

I decided to go with the jumper

Excellent choice

Tell that to Alice

I would

TELL ME WHAT

Hello there

YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL ME?

Are you yelling at me or do you just have the capitalization button on?

I NEVER YELL

Okay, thank you

HOW DO I oh okay

Better. Hello, star boy, what do you have to tell me?

So which sounds preferable, Remus 1, who is dressed hot as hell but spends the entire evening wishing he couldn't be seen, not talking much, keeping his limbs tucked in and trying to hide himself, orrrrr Remus 2, who wears the jumper and feels comfortable enough to be himself and isn't preoccupied with when he can go change into something else and is still hot as hell, because let's be real, it's Remus?

I like you.

Oh

Thank you

I like you too

And Remus

Well it's good you like Remus, you're his friend and all

You like Remus.

I do like Remus

Which is good, because I'm his friend and all

You're good for him

That's high praise

Thank you

I'm not going to threaten you, because that would be insulting to both of you, but I do hope it continues in this manner.

Me too

And thanks for that too

He's getting grumpy, you can have him back. Bye

Thank you!

What did you tell her?

I thanked her way too much, I think I said "Thank you" like ninety times

She said a hundred

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh

She also said she likes you, so I think you're good

Yeah?

Okay

I like her too

Yes, relax

Trying

You are very well liked all around, Sirius

It's you that matters

Well I like you a lot, I think that's pretty obvious

We're here, I'll talk to you when we're settled?

Okay

 

How was brunch?

Tasty

As it should be

Still hungry

How much did you eat

Some brioche and a banana and three muffins and some grapes and four croissants

I'm sorry

I think I read those numbers wrong

Oh and I stole one of Alice's sausages

Did you say you were still hungry??? Or that you were going to be ill?

Okay maybe not hungry, but I could eat

How

I mean that as a scientific question. Physically. How could you possibly eat more?

I dunno

Remarkable

Thank you

We're at Pete's aunt's now

He's with his parents already

But not you?

Nah, we'll visit for a bit later, but people are sometimes overwhelming

Okay

We're here for the moral support of Wormy

You're good friends

It's the only thing to do

Thinking that is what makes you so great

Well

Thanks

You're welcome

What's on the agenda now, after brunch?

Walking around the market

Fun?

Well it's Camden, so yes

Excellent

I'm trying to sneak away to the food

Of course you are

It smells so goooood

What is it?

Eeeeeverything

How specific

Shhh

If you say so

Well, no

Good, because I wouldn't have been able to

Alice's not letting me eat

Well that's not nice

Right!

I don't think she's wrong, but still

Rude!

Also true

Fiiiiiine I won't eat

Well that sounds awful, I don't want that

I'll survive

Well I hope so

But I won't be happy about it

Tough

Wow, so mean today

Well I need you to, so I'd RATHER you were happy about it, but either way it's necessary

You need me to?

To survive? Yes, yes I do

I'll try my best

Thank you

Mhm

That

You're wearing my socks.

Am a bit

Okay

Okay

These are without contest, the comfiest socks I own

Yeah?

Absolutely

So you really like them?

So much, I love them

Well they do look good on your feet

They're so colorful, they were never not going to look great

Wasn't sure you'd actually want to wear them

??????

I don't know

They're perfect in every way??

Didn't know if they'd fit with your wardrobe

Don't underestimate me, I can pull off anything

Anything?

Anything

I bet you can't

Bet I can, try me

A fedora.

I could rock a fedora.

I'm not sure I'd be comfortable being attracted to someone wearing it

The key is to make you look anywhere but the fedora

Right, because it's impossible to pull it off

The point is, I'd be wearing a fedora, and it would still be perfectly valid to be attracted to me

You'd lose all attractiveness points by wearing it

Dare you to say that to my face

Please never wear one

Oh, god no, I would never. I'm just saying, I could

Okay, good

Could.

We'll never know

Hmph

Another win for me

That's not a win for you

Yes it is

We established that I wouldn't do it, not that I wouldn't still be attractive

We established that we'll never know for sure

Concede.

Concede or I'll do it.

You won't

You're already winning by too much, I will, I'll have to.

You'll feel gross for the rest of your life if you do

True, so concede

To save you from yourself?

Yes

Okay, I concede

So this is a win for me?

No

But if it's not a win for youuu

No, it's a draw

Hmph.

No need to pout

I'll win one someday

Sure you will

Don't be meeeaaan

You might

Closer

There were already a few close calls

Yeah?

Yep, don't give up, Dimples

Oh I won't

Alice is insisting on more alone time

Fine fine fine. But don't leave there without something that smells tasty

No chance

 

It is. So. So loud in here.

Where???

We are at a club

A very loud club

A club, you and Alice and your jumper are at a club

I am blessed with imagination

I told you she'd want to go dancing

Yes but it's really happening, this is momentous

Yes, it's really happening.

And there are no empty tables in dark corners for me to hide, so I'm sitting by the bar

Oh that is such a bad idea

It's that or dancing

Again. I am blessed.

Ughhh

Tell me how many times you get hit on

That's not going to happen??

Oh it is, it so is

Is not

It will. I bet it will

Name the stakes

I need another set of socks with which to mismatch these

Oh, you want to try mismatching?

Yes, but they have to be just like these

Warm and colourful?

Yes

Different colourful, but colourful

And if I win?

Pick: free painting, or I have to try green tea with sugar

Painting please

Thank you.

But I get to decide of what

Absolutely

It's a deal.

Well

Fuck.

Yes???

Yeah yeah, more knitting for me

!!!!

What happened???

Got asked to dance

Mhm mhm I need details

A guy came up to me and said 'hey u r hot' (Yes, u r. It sounded like it would be typed u r.) I said that my jumper is indeed keeping me sufficiently warm, to which he replied with 'well if u take dat off & come dance w/ me, I can charm ur pants off'

Oh

Oh honeyyyyy

Oh that's so bad

Poor fellow

No?? Poor me?

But u r hot

Poor him, because he's got to go home with himself

And wake up with himself tomorrow

And generally just live with being that person

So sad

So your pants are still sufficiently on, then?

Yes, he left me alone when I asked him which magic school he learned that spell in

Whichever one it was, I'm sure I went to a better one

So you think you could charm my pants off too, and do it better?

Mhm

Though I'd let you keep them on

And I was just about to say that I might not mind them being charmed off if you’d be the one to do it

Well

Huh

;)

And what magic school did you learn charms in?

I'm self-taught, learned everything I know from books

Yeah but you're studious like that

I am

I hate sitting at the bar like that in places like those

I imagine you can't get a minute alone

Not my idea of fun

What is your idea of fun?

I'd much rather be drinking and dancing with just the people I like

Don't get me wrong, I like people. Just not in those settings

Trust me, I understand

What are you drinking?

Strawberry juice

Yum?

Quite delicious, yes

Good, enjoy

I mentioned to Alice earlier that Lily and James didn't let you text when you were drunk, and of course she, too, thought that was a smart idea

Friends are awful like that

They really are

So

You're just not drinking then?

Nope

Okay

Well she said I'm allowed two drinks, but I'm saving those for later, when I really won't be able to stand this place anymore

Smart thinking

That makes this really awful. I have to leave for a bit, going to go say hi to the Pettigrews

You'll let me know when you'll be back?

Of course I will

Thank you

 

That took longer than I thought it would, I'm sorry. You still around?

Dimples!!!!

Hiiiiiii

Yes im still around but I was weak shhhhh don't tell Al

Hey pumpkin, is that a name that's catching on then?

Does your face have them too

Not very prominent ones. Little ones sometimes

Cute

Are you enjoying yourself?

When Alice comes to rest for bits at a time yes

Is she dancing with people?

yeppp

Is she having fun?

Tons

That's good

It's why we're heeere

That makes sense, I suppose

She does a lot for me,, I can do this one thing

Do something that will make you smile

You make me smile

Well then

Oh

Keep texting me then

Will until Al notices

Good

Ooooh

What?

i got a drink

It has an umbrella!

Sounds like something sweet

It issss omg heaven

Did you just say "omg heaven"?

Its deliciousss

Is this one alcoholic?

Yes and it's the fifth so like i said shhhhhhhh

Fifth

Ooookay

Told you i was weak this place got to me I couldn't not anymore and they have good whiskey

Just be safe, okay?

I am i am i am

Ohhh crap

What?

The person the drink was from is delicious too

Oh

That's fun

That sounds fun

Looks

They look delicious is all im sayin

They bought you a drink?

Yes with an umbrella

I said that already didn't i

But it's a really pretty umbrella if you were here I'd tuck it into your hair

Mmm what colour?

Purple

That would match

Three of my current body rings

Ooh

And my socks

Tell me one more

Pleasep please pleas

Do you know about the navel?

fu c k

Can't tell if that's a yes or a no

thats a no i didn't know and i let out a whimper that scared the sweet drink bloke away

A whimper?

Yes a very embarrraasing one cause you just keep getting hotter an d hotter and it is so not fair

Technically I'm the same amount of hot

ughhhh

That's one of the purple ones right now

Mmmhm mhm mhm

It's got a little charm thingy hanging off that moves when I wiggle

Well I suppose you can't see, but I'm doing it anyway

Kind of tickles

Are you torturing me on purpose is what i'd like to know

Torturing you?

Not intentionally. I like when you tell me things about you, I'm reciprocating

I have flowerss on my left side

What kind?

They dont really look like any real ones and they grow and theyre different colours and also there're thorns

They grow? Like you get things added on? That's really nice

How big on your side?

What kinds of colours?

Uh yeah yeah like that

They're getting pretty big I think they might go round the back and over my shoulder i dunno we'll see

M

Wow

Okay

mostly yellow and orange and red

mhm i quite like them

I do too.

You havent even seeeeen them yet

Ohhhh but I can imagine

Hm ok

I want to

You want toooooo??

See them, yes

oh,, well

one day

I also want to buy you a drink

Something with an umbrella

I would allow that

Good

But i'd would want to buy you one back

I would definitely allow that

Goodgoodgood

How much longer do you think you'll be out?

Not long hopeopefully

Because James and Pete have been out cold for an hour now, and I think I should join them

Okok but questions!!

You first

Did any pick up line ever work on you?

N

Maybe

Tell me

God, it's awful, it wouldn't have worked on any sensible person

But I'm me. I thought it was a challenge, I have to take challenges, I have no filter for them. Didn't then more than I don't now

Tell me tell metell me

He

Asked me to rate how good at kissing I thought I was and then told me to prove it

And you said 10 and then snogged the life out of him?

I had to defend my honour!

Sure sure sure

I'd still give myself a 10.

Him I'd give a 3.

Harsh

No, you don't understand how generous that 3 is

Oh god that bad huh

He just stood there

And when I told him "3" he got all defensive, said he was too stunned by me and to give him another crack at it.

Tell me you didn't

I did not. He was a 3 at best and he'll always have been a 3 at best.

Good

It was dreadful

Sounds it

And im totally not laughing

Rude!

can i tell alice

Yeah sure, sure

Yessssss

Hmph

Hahahahahhha

shes not laughing eithther

fuckityfuck she's on to me ask yours quick

What??

Ask mine your question she wants to take youu away

Noooo

Okay okay

Ummmm

Are you really going to get that undercut?

????

You were talking about it, but are you really going to?

i did??? ? I got it like the day after yiu said i should/??

The day aft

You got it?

You have it?

You're just walking around with that?

You're in a club with that?

you said i should, I agreed, i did

Fucking

Okay

Whattt

Nothing nothing

did yiu not mean it ?k??

Oh, no. I meant it. I sure as hell meant it

How do you like it?

its alrightht

Alright? Just alright?

it s still just hair

How dare

waht

You

Forest eyes, face, scars, curls, undercut, jumper, growing flowers, star, animals, so tall

freckles an d cute socks

You are not helping

I am weak

Youuuu think im cuuuute

Fuck yes I think you're cute

i think yhdkslsllkk

alic

sweetdreams

But

Okay

Have fun Moony

I'll just

Be here. Lying awake. Undercut.

 

***

 

Good morning?

I'm just going to bed

Good m

Oh wow

We left the club soon after she took my phone, got some food on the way, and then just chatted in her kitchen for hours

Aww that sounds really nice

It was.

So is this goodnight then?

Mhm

Sweet dreams

Thank you

Oh, and

I think you're cute too

Cute?

Yep

You think I'm cute

Mhm

Thank you.

Go sleep, Moons

Mkay

Text me when you're up

 

I'm up

Sort of

Sort of?

Well I'm awake

That's up enough for me

How are you, how's everything?

Things are good

Really good

Which is bad

Because you'll have to leave?

Yes

It's always harder to leave when they seem okay

Yeah, I get that

We'll get him through it

don't doubt that

We're going to try to come for longer next time

Hope you make it

How's Alice?

Still passed out

How long do you have?

Hours

Excellent

Just writing her a note, then I'm gonna head out

Out?

Yes, to Regent's park

Just because?

No, because you were there

Oh

I told you I'd go

You did

So now I'm going

Okay

Okay good

Enjoy yourself

I will

I'm going to find James and Pete for now

Tell them hi

I will

 

I'm here

And??

And it's beautiful and I can so easily imagine you here

Perfect

I think I'm just gonna sit here and read for a bit, while the weather still holds

That sounds nice, do that

What are you reading?

I'd rather not say, it will ruin the moment for you

Oh no, what are you reading?

A textbook

Remuuuuuus

I have two more exams!!

Remuuuuuuuuuuuuuus

Yeah yeah

Which class?

Nations and Empires

People fought. Some of them won. The end.

Well, then

I guess I'll just sit and watch the flowers

Excellent

You're a terrible influence

I've been told this before

Somehow that doesn't surprise me

You can study if you must. If you're going to do it anywhere it should be there

Talk later?

Let me know when

 

Back at Alice's. She's still asleep.

Still???

How are there two of you in the world?

She did a lot of dancing. A lot. And she only gets to sleep in on the weekends.

Fair, fair

I'm gonna sit on her now and wake her up

Yesss that always works

It worked

How grumpy is she?

Incredibly

Oh noooo

At least she's too weak to chase me

There's a silver lining

Also I brought lunch, so

So she can't even be that upset

Exactly

What did you bring?

Thai

Yummm

Yesss

Enjoy

We've got a train to catch soon

We will, thank you

Text me if you see any elephants

I wi

Hi, Remus, it's James. I'm officially confiscating Sirius's phone

Oh. Thanks for letting me know, I suppose?

She'll miss you very much and she'll talk to you just as soon as we're back home

You're quite welcome

Okay. I'll miss her too.

Awww I'll tell her you said so

Have a safe trip

Thank you!

 

I'm just gonna text you anyway.

The food was absolutely delicious. Ice cream now.

 

Lying in bed listening to music and talking

 

...we might have both fallen asleep a bit.

And now it's almost time for me to leave, and a part of me really really doesn't want to, but the other part had enough of socializing.

And I'll see her on Friday anyway, so

 

At the station now

Sometimes I purposely come a bit early and just sit and watch people, play the story game, but there’s no time for that today, train in about five minutes

I’ll probably nap again, so if you

“Jaaaaaaaames give it back, you said I could have it back once we get off the train, give it back give it back give it back!”  

Through the din of noisy travelers around him, Remus heard this shout like someone had called his name. His heart started beating incredibly fast while his eyes searched the crowd. He didn’t even have a clear image in his head as to what he might be looking for, but his eyes came to rest on a dark skinned young man, possibly about his age, holding a chunky, century’s old mobile phone up in the air over the heads of the people around him. He had black hair that either looked painstakingly styled into a mess, or like a brush had never attempted to sort it in all his life, and thick, rectangular rimmed glasses.

A boy only just a bit smaller in height put his hand on his shoulder and leaned in to say something, at which the dark boy laughed. This one had fair hair, round cheeks, a small nose, and bright, keen eyes.  

Remus knew. He knew without a single doubt, without knowing at all. James and Peter . Which meant that the small person leaping and throwing her body against the Indian boy’s in an attempt to snatch the mobile out of the air could only be-

“Sirius!” He yelled it without his brain giving his mouth permission, and startled the octogenarian a few paces in front of him. “Sorry,” he muttered hastily, and checked the time on his phone screen. 4 minutes to departure. “Fuck it all.” He ran to the ticket barrier as fast as his legs could carry him without plowing down the two dozen people on the way.

“Sirius!” he hollered again.

The trio was moving away from him. They were right there, they were this close and it was going to be over because Remus wasn’t yelling loud enough.

“Oi! Arse Dimples!”

Fuck. FUck.

She wasn’t jumping anymore. She was frozen where she stood, eyes locked onto Remus’, and he saw her lips form his name. And then she was running.  

For one strange moment, every romantic comedy he’d ever seen played over in his mind, and he could see every heroine jumping into the arms of every hero on every train platform in the history of cinema. But Sirius stopped on the other side of the ticket barrier.  

She might as well have undressed him there.

Her eyes were everywhere, drinking him in, memorizing him. They kept coming to rest on his own, and every time they did, the corners of her mouth quirked. Every time they did his heart leapt. He watched her eyes - grey, so light they could almost be mistaken for blue - travel over his face, the place next to his left eye that was all hardened tissue and the several by his jaw that were nearly always angry pink. She took in his scars with the same wonder she took in his eyes. Her eyebrows didn’t do the hardening, tensing thing he’d come to expect from people meeting him for the first time. Not once.  

Lightning bolted through him when it occurred to him that she was not just seeing him. He was seeing her. Fuck , he thought again. Her hair was still in braids pinned around her head. Stray fly-aways fuzzed at the edges, probably from leaning back on them during her train ride. It was dark, nearly as dark as James’; it was long; it was soft. It probably felt like silk to touch. Merlin, he wanted to touch.

Her skin was unrealistically smooth, and he wondered if it was a product of makeup, constant use of Lush products, or genetics. He quickly concluded that he didn’t care. He counted four earrings in the ear he had best access to, one of which was indeed purple. Her lips he’d seen before, but that did not prepare him in the slightest.  

Her over-sized t-shirt was hanging off of one delicately carved shoulder. The creamy smoothness of her skin extended at least this far. On her legs she wore only a set of tight black leggings that left no shape to Remus’ imagination. He had to remind himself to look back at her face, but then the process only started over again.  

“I um- I just, I heard you and I- hi.” He was going to ruin this. He was going to ruin weeks of effortless communication in one moment of being a blithering idiot.

But her mouth only spread in an impossibly wide grin. She’d undersold the dimples and joyful little lines creased her cheeks; her eyes sparkled with it. It seemed to take a long time for the words to get out of Sirius. “H-hey, Pumpkin.”

Remus was melting. Or maybe burning. Either way, his insides felt like goo and his cheeks felt hot. Hot, he thought so, so, so hot.  

The commotion behind him reminded him he was supposed to be boarding a train. “Shitefuck, I have to go, my train is going to-”

“Yeah.” But she wasn’t watching the people around him boarding, her eyes were darting between his own, still examining. The tip of her tongue peaked between her lips to press down on the silver hoop of her lip ring. It seemed an involuntary, habitual motion. Remus committed it to memory.  

“I love the braid.” He gripped the frayed sleeves of his jumper to keep from reaching out to touch it.

She almost seemed to choke on the word, “Curly,” and her eyes left his to rake through his hair, which he had neglected to think about at all that day until that moment.  

“Oh, yeah, definitely cute,” Remus murmured to himself, but Sirius’ whole face lit with the word, like there was no word she’d rather be associated with.

The noise behind him was dying down. He pointed behind himself, “I really have to-”

“Go on, don’t miss it. Text me.”

“Well, obviously,” Remus laughed. He couldn’t imagine not texting her now.  He stepped backwards a few paces, reluctant to turn his back to her.

She smiled extra wide one last time before she turned around to rejoin Peter and James, who looked well beyond amused. Remus was glad she did it first. Getting onto the train would have been much more difficult if she’d still been standing there. He watched her walk away while the doors shut.

Arse dimples .” The old woman he’d disturbed earlier shook her head at him as he passed her to find a seat.  

that

that happened

that was you

fuck

holy shit fuck

Sirius

Sirius

I need James to give you your phone back like now

Now please

Shite

I'm here

Hi

Again

Hi.

Hi.

Ooookay so now I know what you sound like saying that

Mhm

You're still talking to me

You're still talking to me.

Yes

Yes I am still talking to you

Yes

I most definitely don't want to stop

I can't believe

That was really you

It was

It was you

Yeah

Thank god you told me about the haircut last night

I was so very not ready for your

Everything

Oh

You know all my piercings, now

I do

I was right about all of them

Do I get a prize?

Sure

I can't think of anything more I could possibly want right now

Shame, because I'm wont to give you absolutely anything right now

My heart is beating really fast still

Yeah I'm

Still trying to breathe

Was it okay

That I did that

Okay that you

What

Got my attention???

Yes??????

Just checking

It seemed right in the moment, but it wasn't planned, so I wasn't sure anymore now

It was so okay

Nothing has ever been more okay

You saw me

Oh yes I did

Right.

Okay.

Okay.

Oh I just

I have so much

Every time I've wanted to tell you how hot you are, but couldn't because I "technically didn't know"

Well I bloody know now

You're one to talk

Remus

Yes?

I'm incredibly glad I know you

Oh

I'm really glad to know you too

How

Um

How's the train?

Fine

Moving

That's what they're supposed to do

Mhm

They made me get into the car now

What were you doing before?

Leaning against a wall

You okay?

Nothing. Has ever. Been this. Okay.

I don't know how to describe the feeling, but that seems close

I'm glad it happened this way

When neither of us was ready but we were both not unready

Does that make sense?

Yeah, yeah it does

And we still don't have to be ready if you're not

I have no idea anymore

That's okay

Can we talk about it after next week?

Whenever you want to, no pressure, okay?

Okay.

Alright

Soon.

Also alright

Okay.

M

God

Sometimes I remember how green your forest eyes are

Sometimes I remember your smile and I'm glad I'm sitting down

Incredible

You are, yes

Oh, I'm still stuck on your eyes

Yes, they're green

And also brown

And this

Magical sandy colour under the brown

Weird yellow, yeah

No

Gold perfection, Remus

Sure

I can't get them out of my head

Try thinking of something else

Okay okay

So your nose then

Really, nose?

Everything, Moony.

Yeah, well

You too

What a day

The most perfect end to my trip

Best welcome home

Do you feel different?

Different how?

I dunno, I just feel really really good

I don't know

About me

Or like it's more real now

Because I don't, I wouldn't put it like that. It was just as real before

I can just imagine you better now

Yes. You were always real. The only difference is I have an exact face to picture when I think of you. And voice to read your words in.

We didn't really say a lot

Why. Why didn't we fill every moment. I wasted so much time being dumbfounded I should have said

I dunno

Everything

Next time.

Next time

Yes. Because that's a thing that is going to happen. We'll see each other again. And have hours and hours to talk

That sounds

I'm really looking forward to that

Me too

I liked your jumper

Thanks

And your everything

I liked your shoes

And your everything

Thank you

Mhm

I think I'm calm now

I'm not

It's a lot

So glad it happened, though

Me too

Reception's not great here, I'll text you when I get home?

Please

 

Home, in bed

Mhmsame

You waited up

Course Idid

Do you want to do questions, or would you just like to call and we can save those for the morning?

Questionsss

Okay, you go first

Hmmmmm

Ok

Next time

Think I maybe could hug you?

Sirius

Of course

Yeah?

Absolutely.

Mmm good

What did James and Peter say?

They said cuuute

An they liked the name you called me

I yelled your name twice but you didn't hear

Oh

Don't respond to it in public

Think it's people saying serious

I'll remember for the future

They said that I'm done for

Are you?

Mhm

Me too.

I can call?

Yes.

Just quiet?

Whatever you want

Okay

 

"Pads?"

"..."

"Dream of a forest."

Chapter Text

Good morning.

Good morning!

Slept well?

Really well, you?

Also great

That's good!

I feel good

I'm so happy to hear that

Tea?

Something black

Okay

With milk and sugar

Oooof course

Only two

Only. Only two. Well it's something

Yeah, it's a smaller mug today because I don't have that much time

I worry for your teeth

My teeth are perfectly fine, thank you

Oh I'm aware

But I'm worried about them later

Once all that sugar finally hits you

Won't

If you say so

I do

Enjoy

I am

Do you have work today?

Yes today, not tomorrow

Works for me

When is that exam?

One today, one tomorrow

Did you sort out the Friday one?

No

Oh. I'm sorry

It's fine

Ready for the one today?

Yes.

Good!

I should probably get going

Good luck, I know you'll do great

<3

Thank you, have a good day at work

I will



It wasn't perfect, but I think I did well enough

Gonna study now for tomorrow until you get out


Good enough!

What are you going to do with yourself when there's no more studying to be done?

Take some summer classes

Really???

Yes?

Do you ever relax?

I don't want to spend the whole summer in this house

Fair enough

Maybe I'll go stay with Alice for a while

That would be nice

She offered

She did??

Yeah, she has a spare room

That's really nice of her

Do you think you'd do it?

If it'd stop feeling like charity, yeah

But she's your friend

So?

So it would be just as fun for her as it would be good for you

She gets to spend that time with you

Sure

No, really

I don't think she asked you out of pity, I think it's a way she'd like to spend her summer

Maybe

Think on it?

Already promised her I will

Okay

Do you have any plans?

Well my plan for tomorrow is to work on the bike, so I'm going to assess what I still need tonight

How much more do you have to do?

Well I'm about to find out

When was the last time you worked on it?

A few weeks, I think

When did you start?

Last year when school ended

Does it have a name?

Not until it's done

Or at least rideable. I don't think "done" is something it's ever going to be

Okay, that makes sense

You can name it when it's rideable

I can name it.

Yes

You would let me name your bike.

Sure, why not?

Because it's YOUR bike?

So?

So you should be the one to name it?

I like the idea of a friend naming it

And you’re saying I could be that friend

Yes

Okay

Thank you

But I'll have to meet it first

Obviously

Otherwise it would just be random

Exactly

Glad you agree

It would probably also be wise that I'd get a ride on it

The better you know it, the easier naming it will be. It's only logical

Exactly, exactly

You'd want to?

Yeah, of course

Brilliant

So you'll take me?

Please, yes

Better go figure out what needs doing then

Yeah

And I'll go back to my books

Enjoy yourself, nerd

I will


My hands are different art now

I spilled ink on mine

Heyyy I bet we match

Not for long

Rude

Awww I bet we do! Friendship stains! Yay!

Go wash your hands, killjoy

They smell really nice now

Like what?

Lavender

Mmm soothing

Mhm

I'm going to leave mine gross for awhile

Not gross, art

That too

What should I make for dinner?

For just you? Or for your parents as well?

All of us

You should make risotto

Ha ha 

Sure

I'm going to

Yeah, but you can cook

Risotto isn't so hard

Just takes patience

Okay, I have patience. Do I get a step by step?

Yessss

Right, so, what do I need?

Well the basics for mine are water, arborio rice, butter, chicken/vegetable broth, white wine, parmesan cheese. I'm doing mine with chopped onion and asparagus, but that's your call

You want me to first make a broth??

You don't just have some??? We always have

Is that not a mu

Is that not a thing people just have??

Just a broth lying around at all times? No

I don't suppose you have bouillon?

We do, but don't tell my mum

Why????

The same reason she can't know we have hot pockets in the freezer

What in the freezer?

Pizza pockets

Those aren't words that go together

Yes they are

No.

I

I don't want to know

They're like tiny delicious calzones, what are you talking about!

I do not

Want

To know

I should just have those

Focus Moony

I'll just make some to eat while I make dinner

While you

Moony

Remus

That is not

Nooooo

Yesss

Good god, okay, can you make a makeshift broth out of the bouillon, and do you have everything else?

Yes, minus asparagus

That'll do

Okay so...?

So put a bit over a litre of the not-broth up to boil. Technically it’s a litre, but I always need a bit more, so just have it handy.

Got it

You have onions?

I have onions

Dice them

I do one and a half, small dice

Knew you were gonna make me cry eventually

Just returning the favour

Once that's done, melt 50g of butter in a pan and toss the onions in

Returning the favour?

50g, right, so like a knob?

W

No

Like 50g

A knob is not a unit of measurement

I melted a knob-ish, now what

Ugh

Did you toss in the onions?

Yes, what did you mean by returning the favour

Cook them down until they start browning at the edges

Sirius

What?

When did I make you cry?

It was nothing

When?

That day you were on the floor in a towel

I'm sorry

You're sorry?

Yes

I really really would like you to not be sorry about it

I was just

Very worried

I

They're brown

400g of the rice and 50g more of the butter, into the pan with the onions

And also asparagus for me

Another knob of butter and some rice, got it

And my water started boiling, when yours does, turn the heat down low and let it simmer, you just need it to be ready to boil soon.

SOME RICE????

That is not what I said

Some, enough, whatever was left in the box

But

Consistency

How do you even live with your mother in the same house?

She shakes her head at me a lot

Oh I am, too

Just keep the rice moving around in the pan, get everything coated in the butter and keep it moving around

Yes, I know how to stir, I'm not completely incompetent

My confidence in assuming what you may know dwindles every moment

Concerned with meal making, anyway

My mother is a chef, I picked things up

Okay, genius, then Stir The Rice

Until it gets all translucent

I'm stirring I'm stirring

Gently

Yeah yeah

I just had this mental image of you aggressively mixing

I try not to be aggressive when I can help it

Shhhhhh

Mostly I'm enjoying having a mental image of you and knowing how close to correct it is

Are you picturing me in an apron?

Should I be???

Depends, how accurate do you want your image to be?

As accurate as possible.

Imagine a light yellow apron with red polka dots and 'I believe I can fry' written across the chest

I need to sit down.

No time for that, you have to stir, remember

I still am, just from the counter

I believe I can fry.

Amazing.

And a picture of an owl with a wooden spoon

Oh My god

Now what do I do

Pour in 100ml of the wine

100ml.

A few splashes of wine

Is that what I said???

It's what I did

Just

Stir

Stirring

This is where the patience comes in. It's just stirring and stirring forever

I don't mind, as long as there's no rule about how many stirs clock- and anticlockwise

You're making a rice dish, not a

You don't have to be concerned with how many and which way

If you say so

I do

Now what

All absorbed?

Yep

Hmm, fast, turn the heat down a bit

And turn it up on your stock so it boils again, that should only take a second

Wait my pizza pockets are done

Wait.

Are you telling ME to wait? Or the risotto you're going to burn?

When we're done I'm going to look up what a hot pocket is and it had better be a miracle of god

It won't burn

Becaaaaause you asked it nicely?

Because the heat is down and I put a bit more wine in

You

Please tell your mother I am not responsible for whatever comes out of this on your end

Yes, don’t worry, I'll tell her I followed all of your directions to the dot

You would lie to your mother like that??????

Without a grain of guilt

She'll never believe you

We'll see

She knows you

And I don't know what to do next?

Add

A Bit

Of the broth

I'm adding about a quarter of what's in this pot

How many ml?

Oh NOW YOU WANT THE ML

Now I can tell my mum that when I tried asking you about the exact measurements you just yelled at me

You know what, figure the rest out yourself, I give up

Nooooo I'm sorry please help me

Like I would ever just stop

Try about 250 to start

Well I don't know

Added.

I wouldn't.

Stir stir stir

It's stirring

It's?

Are you not a part of this activity?

Mhm, now what?

Wait for it to absorb and add a bit more

And again and again and again

Until it's all gone?

Yes

Okay

Take your time with it, don't expect to be done for another twenty minutes or so

I'm not in a hurry

Good

So do you cook a lot?

I do now

I never used to

Then living with James' parents, I'd help mum in the kitchen a bit. And when we moved out here. Well James's could happily eat takeout and raw foods for the rest of his life. I cannot, so I've adapted.

And you'd say you cook well?

I would say so

Would other people confirm?

I think they would

No one ever complains

Have you ever cooked for someone?

I'm thinking you don't mean Prongs

No, I mean a date

I haven't

I've never been out with someone who believed me when I said I could

I'll just have to be the first then

The first

Like

Like the first date will go so well that you'll say 'Hey how about next time you come to mine and I’ll cook?'

We're

There's a first

Date?

That's really up to you, but I have a strong suspicion I'll ask sooner or later

Do you think on the third one we could cook together?

Definitely

Perfect

My broth's all gone

Shite

Okay okay

Move it off the stove

Either onto another burner or into the counter or something

And add in 25g of the parmesan

And mix until it's all creamy and delightful

Off, grind all the cheese you've got, stir. Got it

Your translations are heinous

No one has time to measure

Everyone. Everyone who has time to make risotto has time to measure

Technically I don't have time to make risotto, I should be studying

Yet you just did

I did, without measuring, and it looks fine

Does it?

Yes

Now taste it so you know how heavily to salt it

Oh I already seasoned it

Oh my apologies

Are you saying you've been cooking for over an hour and never once tried it?

Well

Yeah

Oookay

I don't want to upset the balance of anything

Alright

Dunno

Mine tastes delicious

Good!

Enjoy

We're going to

Thank you

Talk to you after?

Definitely.


Mum liked it okay

Yeah?

Would have preferred less cheese, but whateveeeer

Oh there's a really easy way to avoid that next time

It was the perfect amount

Clearly not

It was for me

And when you're making out for just you, feel free to add a whole block of cheese

I just might

Nice

Cheese is excellent

Yes, in appropriate quantities

The more the better

Gross

No

And now James is on cleanup duty and I am free to take a shower

From your grossness

Enjoy

Thank youuuu


I wish you could smell me right now, I smell delightful

I

wish that too

Like violets and lemon

Mmm

Quite

Excuse me while I roll around on this bed to make it also smell lovely

Of course

Thank you for earlier

For what?

I like cooking not alone

I enjoyed it

Me too

I always enjoy things with you

I took you away from studying

I've studied enough

Sure?

I'm sure

Okay

You'll be brilliant as always

Keep your fingers crossed tomorrow anyway

Positive thoughts to you always

Thank you

Remus.

Sirius

I have just researched pizza pockets.

And?

That

That's not food

You put that in your body???

You can't judge them until you've tried them

I am not putting that in MY body

More for me

I grow more worried about you by the minute

Whatever

My body's completely fucked up anyway, I'll eat what I want

Uggghhhhh

 

Moons?

What

I'm sorry

It's fine

I didn't mean to imply that your body wasn't yours to do with as you wish

I know

I'm sorry

It's fine

Okay

Really, it is. You're allowed to be grossed out by my eating habits

I still think the pizza pockets look gross

But I don't think you're gross in any way

Little tiny pockets of joy

But none of the ingredients look like food things

Shhhh tiny pockets of joy

You were making a real, homemade meal at the time!

So?

So nothing

Exactly

Hmph

What's the score?

5, 0

Nice

I'll have you yet

You'll have me, huh?

Yes

I mean best you, pull one over on you, something

Mmmhm

Didn't mean I'd have you like I

M

That

Would you like to change the subject, you adorable star?

Maybe questions?

Okay

What's your favourite dish to cook?

That's

Impossible

Anything where I can bake

I like baking

Okay then what do you think you make best?

I make an awfully good meringue

Isn't that just egg whites?

It's not too many steps but it's easy to mess up, so when it comes out just right it's very satisfying

Hmm alright

You like lavender, right?

I do

Have you ever had lavender crème brûlée? Because I'm also not bad at that

I have not

Then maybe I'll make you that, since meringue is "just egg whites"

Sounds better

I'm making you both to prove a point.

I definitely won't say no to two desserts

Didn't imagine you'd complain

Well I still might complain, I didn't say that

What could you possibly have to complain about while I'm making you assorted baked goods?

Quantity

Really????

Well if I'll only get one creme brulee...

Oh sweet holiness

Several servings of the crème brûlée and the meringue will be atop an entire pie

What kind of pie?

For meringue, the best would be lemon

But for you I'm going to make a strictly orange filling

I thought the goal was for me to not have any complaints?

Now the goal is punishment

Guess you're not getting that goodnight kiss then

I only accept orange flavoured goodnight kisses

Seems like this just isn't meant to be

Ah well, at least we figured it out early

Good thing we talk so much

Well that's good no matter what

True

Is it my turn?

Yes

What’s your f

Actually, no

Can you explain what you meant by 'cute'?

Because I keep thinking about it and I keep thinking about your voice saying it and it's important for Reasons, I need to know what you meant by it

For Reasons?

I meant you're cute. You look cute. You seemed cute in our texts, and seeing you in person only confirmed the cuteness.

I mean, you didn't mean it in place of some other word?

No?

Just cute.

Sorry, are you offended? Obviously you're freaking gorgeous and beautiful and pretty and hot, and there's nothing 'just' about the cute, but yeah, that's the first and main word that comes to mind when I think of you, and it was the first when I saw you jumping around James trying to grab your phone. Cute.

I'm

Really really not offended

Okay?

I like it

People I like don't usually call me things that aren't "hot" or "sexy". I dunno, I like cute. Like you're seeing something different.

I should stop talking

You don't have to stop talking.

And I'm not going to lie to you, I won't say that I don't think you're hot too, because wow. But if I only had to use one word to describe you, I'd always go for cute

Thank you

I think you're cute too

And also hot and wow

I think you're half asleep and don't know what you're saying anymore

Mmhm

Goodnight, sleepy

Moony?

Yeah, Pads?

Call?

Okay


 

˝Sirius?˝

˝...˝

˝I'm sorry some people don't treat you as well as you deserve to be treated, or only see one side of you. There are so so many sides to you, you're such an amazing person. And so fucking cute. I mean, Merlin, even your breathing sounds cute.˝

˝...˝

˝I hope you're dreaming about nice things. Goodnight.˝

Chapter Text

Are you eeeeeeever going to wake up?

no

Well hmph


I'm awake

Are you sure?

Yes, but I can't promise I won't fall back asleep

How! It's been daaaaays

It's only half ten

It's already half ten

My exam isn't until way later

How much later?

3

Hmmm okay

 

If you're too busy to talk, I understand.  If you fell back asleep WAKE UP


I'm awake

Were you?

No

Moony Moony Moony Moony Moony

I was up late

Studying?

That too

What else?

Read a bit

Thought about you a lot

Daydreamed

Drank tea, black, that was a mistake

Read some more

Tried to fall asleep and listened to your steady breathing, it has a very calming effect

Tried not to feel too creepy about doing that

Well you were busy

I don't think it's creepy

do that when I wake up and you're still sleeping

I know, I kept telling myself that

And I think I'm creepier because I spend time trying to figure out what you're saying

I make sure you're asleep and then I wish you goodnight

You wish me goodnight?

Yeah

Out loud?

Out loud

With my voice

Yes

Oh

Is that okay?

How many times?

All but the first two

Oh

Is it okay?

Yes.

Are you sure?

Very sure

Okay.

I'm a bit envious of my unconscious self

At least you know now what my voice sounds like

Oh yes, all the more to imagine

I really like yours, have I said that?

You don't have to say that

Um okay

I don't hate it or anything, it's just a voice

Nothing special

Right, well, I like it

Sorry

Just, that's a first

Well let's be real, how often do people compliment each other's voices?

You've never spent time with Lily

She does that?

No, she gets that

Does she sing?

Oh yes, but very poorly

She just has a very lovely voice, it's impossible not to notice. And a great laugh

To match James'

Have I sai

Oh

You heard it

I heard it.

Wow

That didn't occur to me

You saw Peter and James as much as they saw you

Oh

They saw me

Yes

Right, of course they did. It makes sense. I just hadn't thought about it

They like you, you know

So you've said

I'm not sure you believe it yet

I don't

You'll see

I like them too

I can think of no reason why you shouldn't

Well they don't let you text sometimes

And there's the smoothies

As long as I'm not forced to drink the green ones, I'm alright with them

They're all green

I'll make my own and bring it with. A purple one

Sounds yummy

Strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries

Oh that sounds perfect right now

Risk it tasting a bit green and make it

I think I will once I've finished here

Working on the bike?

Yessss

Nice

Had to make some unforeseen adjustments

Oh?

Mhm, had some functions I had added months ago that I needed to un-add

Okay..

No worries, just took some figuring out

Alright

Should be finished for the day in the next hour or so

I'll stop distracting you

Impossible

*I'll go take a shower while you have something else to do

Enjoy yourself

I'll think of you

Think of me fondly


Well that was lovely

Good!

Thanks for letting me think of you

Well I was thinking of you, so it's only fair

Do you do that a lot?

Think of you?

Frequently

Mostly good things, I hope

Mostly

I'll take it

Entirely

Impossible

Try me

I'm making myself a sandwich for breakfast/lunch that consists of butter, peanut butter, nutella, and a banana

Butter. As a separate ingredient from the peanut kind.

Yes

Obviously?

Butter is a base, peanut butter is a spread that goes over it

Oh dear

Nope, nope, still only positive thoughts about you. Bet you taste great.

It

Bet it tastes great.

I bet the sandwich

Tastes great.

I taste amazing, the sandwich is alright

Good to know

Mmmhm

Making me hungry

Go eat

Haven't since breakfast

Go eeeeeat

I don't have nutella anyway. I'm looking forward to that smoothie though

Who doesn't have nutella??

People who ate it all

That's why you always need to have a spare jar

No broth, but emergency jars of nutella. Sure.

My priorities make perfect sense

Fascinating

I am that

Okay

I think I'm done out here

Smoothie time

Yes!!

My thoughts exactly

Are you gonna make one for James?

If he asks nicely

He always makes them for you..

I would much rather be ASKED so I'm leading by example

Right, right, okay

Yeah, he'll want it though, so I'm making a bunch

After I clean up

And I should probably get dressed and leave soon. Enjoy your snack

Good luck on your exam!

No heart today?

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Thank you

Not that you need any of it

I know, but it's still nice

<3

Thank you.



Done

How was it???

I'm almost offended by how easy it was

Good!

Feels good to be done with the whole semester

!!!!!!!!!

We have to celebrate!

I'm gonna celebrate with chocolate cake and sleep

Fair enough

Do you have any better ideas?

Just to do something you wouldn't normally do

Like what

I don't know, go somewhere, do something, let yourself have something you usually don't

Maybe some other day

Well you've got all the days to do it

Next week, when I'm feeling better

Are you alright?

Nothing to worry about

Okay

Smoothie was good?

Peeeerfect

Refreshing and filling

THAT, I could have every day for breakfast

Do it

Fight for the blender rights

I will.

Good

I'm getting up extra early tomorrow for it

Extra early.

As in earlier than 5.

Yup

No

A bit, yes

No

Yesssss

It's important

Just hide the blender??

That is so much less subtle???

He can be mad if I hide the blender, he can't be mad if I just already happen to be using it

But getting up early sounds so terrible

And not worth it

I'll be fine

Do you have work tomorrow?

Yessss

You won't be fine

I will be

Okay

Promise

Okay

So are you going to make the chocolate cake?

Ha

No

Where is it coming from?

Mum's bringing it from work

Ohh yum

Yesss

That's going to be good

Always is

Excellent

I'm gonna take a nap now

Yeahhhh that's the sleep part, isn't it?

Mhm

Sleep well Moony

 


That looks unholy

Half gone

Whyyyyyy

It looks so good

Don't just wolf it down, enjoooy it

Savor it

i

I am

Mhmmmmm

Whatever, chocolate fights l

illness

Chocolate fights illness?

Yes

It makes you feel better

Fact.

Okay, true, true

Moony 6, Padfoot 0

What happens when you hit ten?

...eleven

There's no prize for ten???

What do you have to offer?

Well

Suddenly, nothing

Think of something and get back to me

I'm on it

Great

How was sleep, by the way?

Not as good as the cake

Ah well

Will try again soon

How soon?

Few hours

Hmmmm

Okay

Why?

Sometimes I'm spoiled by an abundance of Moony, and sometimes that makes the long gaps seem even longer

Well I'm all yours until you go to sleep

A

Okay

Will these do?

Wh

My socks!!!

Yes!

Good, because this is already the second one

Ahhhh yes!!!!

I'll mail them tomorrow

Tomorrow!!!!!!!!

Yeah, mum already said she'll make scones

I have never been so happy

Overreacting much?

Nope.

Okay, if you say so

I do

So what are you up to?

Doing Lily's nails

What colour?

Ruby red

Nice

Hi Lily

She s

She waves Hi and MESSES UP HER NAILS IN THE PROCESS

Oops

Ughhhh

Sorry

What for

Well it's kind of my fault

I'm blaming her alone

Tell her it wasn't for nothing, I waved back

Awww

No don't make her wave again!

Oops

She is impossible

I like her

Don't encourage her

Wave, Lily, wave!

Ignore him he's cranky

Oh hi

Hi! Nice to meet you

Likewise

I've been trying to say hi myself for weeks

How are you? What are you up to?

I've been better. Knitting at the moment

Aww I'm sorry to catch you at a less than fantastic time

Knitting is good!

Yeah. Almost done

I heard screaming about socks?

I lost a bet to Sirius, so now I have to make him another pair

You lost a bet to Sirius? How do you lose a bet to Sirius? He's a terrible gambler

He's better than me, apparently

That's terrible news

I'll just try to avoid bets with all of you from now on

Probably for the best

Especially Peter, never make a bet with Peter. You wake up with no money and no school ties

He always gives everything back, but still, it's the principle of the thing

I have neither of those things, so I should be quite safe

Oh good then

Sooooo James says you're cute, when do I get to meet you??? I feel left out

James needs a new prescription for his glasses. Umm soon?

He has several other opinions to back this up

Soon is good enough for me

I don't know

You don't have to know

Okay

I'm trying to think of embarrassing Sirius stories to tell you

Oh please do

Has he told you about how he tried to take one of our professors out on a date?

He what

To a tea shop in a village near the school where all the kids used to go to snog and stuff

Of course he did

Approximately twelve times

Jesus

Per term

Christ.

You have no idea

He almost confused her into it one time

I need so many more details

I think he still talks to her sometimes

I'm not even surprised anymore

Very wise

Hey, um, Lily?

Yes?

I believe you're responsible for Sirius procuring a phone?

Oh! Yes I am. It was about time

Thank you.

Thank me?

Yes

You're very welcome

Also I like your taste in movies

Yesssss talk to me, what are we making him watch next?

Hmmm

The rocky horror picture show

Ohhhhhh

Do you think I should just show them that though? That's an experience waiting to happen

We could take them to a showing?

You could take them to a showing

We could definitely take them to a showing. That should be their First Time, yeah?

Yes

Dibs on Columbia if you're taking me with

Can I be your Magenta????

You most definitely can

Yeeeeeeees

Excellent

Just that we still haven't figured out which movie you should show them next

Ugh, right

So what else, what else?

Dirty dancing?

Oh I can certainly move that up on the list

Maybe you should ask someone else, I just keep rewatching the same few movies over and over again

Which ones exactly?

All the good 80s ones, all good musicals, all good queer ones

And classics like Mean girls

Give me one of each of those categories and how. How. Did I not make them watch Mean Girls yet?

Lily!! You have to! I'm disappointed by you

Me too, me too

I think that needs to be tonight

The breakfast club, Chicago, But I'm a cheerleader

Yesss watch it

Thank you!

Oh, you're welcome

Peter can't be mad at me for influencing his film-progeny if it was TECHNICALLY you that suggested he watch it

What kind of movies does he like?

A lot of the same ones but he knows a lot more sci-fi classics than I do

Ah.

Oh! One question before I give you back

Yes?

Do you want me to tell James to shut up calling you his boyfriend?

It's in good fun, but if it's not good fun for everyone then it stops

Oh

Um

I don't

I don't mind

Oh good, here's your boyfriend then

Ookay

Was she as mean to you as she is to me?

No, she was delightful

Well that's very rude of her

How is she being mean to you?

She was deliberately messing up her nails so I had to keep doing them for one.  Do that she could talk to you longer.

Well surely you can understand her, you know how nice it is to talk to me

Hmmm true, okay

7 - 0, have you thought of something you can offer me yet?

Chocolate.

Deal.

Excellent

But it has to be good

Would I give you shite chocolate???

Better not

I will not

Good

We're going to watch a movie

Yeah, I've already got it set up

What?

Are we not watching mean girls?

We

We're watching Mean Girls

Great, tell me when to start

Count and play

Okay

Playing?

Yes

Yessss


Moooooooony

 

Moony?

Moonyyyy

 

Remus?

 

shite

Yes, hi, sorry

I fell asleep

Tell me you're still up?

I'm still up

How did you like the movie?

That was art

It's a classic

I can see why

Except James just got over excited and called me a fugly slut, so now I have to go kill him, please excuse me

ok

 

Kill him, sit on him, either way I win.

Thank you for watching with us

Saw maybe a third

Good enough

Can we do questions before I fall back asleep?

Yes

You really don't mind me watching with you when it's not just you?

I know it technically doesn't make any difference to you there, but it still feels like I'm kind of intruding

Not at all. I like

Feeling like I have someone

They always cuddle while we watch things, and sometimes I do too, but sometimes it's lonely. It's good. Feeling less like I'm alone.

I know it's not the same

But it's less lonely

Okay

My turn?

Y eah

Do you think your mum would give me her scone recipe?

Only if you'll let her try one when you make them

Oh, so no pressure then

None at all

Deal.

I'll ask her to write it down

You have my undying admiration

Aww

Can we

Do the thing?

Mhm

You call?

Mhm


"I fell asleep before you, so this is a middle of the night 'Hope you're dreaming pretty things' message. Well, middle of the night for me, you're probably gonna wake up in like an hour."

"..."

"Okay. I'm gonna try to sleep more, I only woke up to throw up the entirety of my insides. Gotta love the moon."

"..."

"Good luck with your breakfast smoothie."

Chapter Text

"Moony?"

"..."

"Moony you up?"

"..."

"Ahhh, this is weird."

"..."

"I don't even know what to say, I just wanted to say... Something."

"..."

"Good morning"

"..."

"It's really early. Even for me. You'd be outraged. The sun's not even threatening to come up yet. But I'm... Walking to the kitchen now. Gonna make this before James' alarm goes off. I should hang up before I start the blender, that'll be loud and might wake you for real. Don't want that. I think something's going on with you and I don't know what it is but I think it has to do with you going to the hospital. Well coming to the hospital, I guess, because it's here in London. Anyway you clearly need to sleep so I think I'll let you do that without the screaming of this damn electronic machine."


morning

Good morning Moonshine

did you win the smoothie battle

Well

Kind of.

?

I maybe woke up too early

And was finished making the smoothie and cleaning up by the time he came in to use it

So I did get my smoothie!

But it was less victorious, more polite sharing

amazing

I tried

was it good

Nearly as good as yesterday's

good

Maybe I'll do it again tomorrow

tea?

never mind

mum already made it

Rude!

or, you know, really kind

but i can tell her you think she's rude, i'm sure she'd never give you a wrong recipe

That too, I suppose

Dooooooon't that recipe is sacred

yeah yeah, it's already in the box, she's gonna mail it on her way to work

thank you

Thank her

mhm

Hey, Moony?

yeah?

I dunno

Nevermind

So what are you doing with your day, now that you don't have to study?

no, don't do that

I need to right now

Please

I'll try to put it into words later

okay

when you'll go to work i'll take a bath and then i'm gonna go back to bed

and then maybe i'll try to read a little

Just don't fall asleep in the bath and drown, please

i won't

promise

Thank you

and it's herbal, by the way

the tea

some mix of wildflowers

Oh

I was going to ask for herbal anyway

great minds and all that

Something like that

oh

wow

What?

your roses

Oh????

it's beautiful

Yeah?

i feel like i'm there

Well

You were

i was.

and you were

and now i have this

Yes.

i'll go put it up right away

Yessss

thank you

You are very welcome

i love it

Enjoy it

i will.

I'll talk to you in a bit?

have a good day

Have a good bath

;)


It was nice

It wasn't a winky face kind of nice, but it was still nice

I feel less achy

Not that that's gonna last very long, but still

And I smell lemony

 

I had to turn the other way so I could read, I kept glancing up at your painting and getting distracted



Mmm sounds nice

I'm glad you're less achy

And that you smell like lemon

You match my bed sheets

I feel like I'd like your bed

 

It's here for impromptu Moony naps when you're here

Will you provide warmth?

You need the body heat, don't you?

It would be much appreciated

And it's my bed, so really, it all just makes sense

It's settled then

Sounds really comfy

Mm it does

Are you a Cuddler, or a Cuddled?

Both

I always start out one way and end up the other

I also alternate between little spoon and big spoon

Exactly

Perfect

I told you, it's too big for one person anyway

Sometimes I kick

That's okay, I'm

I don't mind

You're?

No, it was going to come out really wrong. You kicking me accidentally in your sleep isn't nearly the same thing as other stuff

Sirius

See? It was going to come out wrong.

Like earlier, when you threatened

But you weren't threatening.

That's the point, that's why I didn't want to say it

It was just a bad moment and it was over in the space of half a second.

I just need to think before I speak

Or text

It's just so easy talking to you, reminding myself to think is harder

But it's good if you tell me

Then I can know and not cause bad moments in the future

But you don't, you don't cause bad moments

Even if it's just a few seconds, I don't want that, I don't want to hurt you

Things that hurt me one day don't hurt me the next. And things that were fine a minute ago are triggers in the next minute.

I get that, I really do. But if you tell me and I know I can watch out for that. I'm not saying I'll censor everything I say and treat you like you're made of glass if you don't want that, but I'll know better how to react when it happens. I'll know what I did wrong and not just wonder and worry, and I'll try to fix it and reassure you that's not how I meant it. Even if you know it the next minute, it still helps to hear it.

It does for me at least

Okay

I think I don't like when it seems like people liking me is contingent upon me behaving in some way. Not people I care about, anyway

Okay

I don't know

I'm uncomfortable sometimes when you and James talk about hurting each other so casually

I'm sorry

No, don't

We’re just talking

But you've said before, and I said that thing yesterday

And it was a bad second, and then it was okay

I love him. I would never hurt him no matter what he called me and he would never call me anything that would upset me. I know that's not the point, I understand. Thank you for telling me

And I like you for you and so does my mum

Okay

You don't have to try to impress anyone or act like something you're not

I don't with you

Maybe that's when it's bad

When I'm definitely being me and I can't blame it on anything else

I've never not liked you

We'll see

What do you think I won't like?

Dunno

There's a bunch

It's been almost a month and I can't think of a thing

Has it already?

Mhm

Wow

Yeah

Feels longer and not long enough

For me too

There's still plenty of time, though

All the time we want

For you to find something wrong

No

We'll see

Look I'm sure there are some things about you that I won't like. Like maybe you dog-ear your books, or you're late to things, or you're early and complain about others being late too much. But those are just little things that don't really matter. I like you for who you are at your core, and I don't see that changing

Okay

I do not dog ear books.

That's good to hear

I simply rip out all of the pages I've read, so the first page is always where I left off

I know you're joking but reading that still felt like someone stabbed me in the heart

Noooo, how do I unstab?

Tell me something nice

So in 1972, Colin met Sally. She was a bartender and he was a patron of the social club where she worked. They got to talking and fell madly in love.

They had a complicated start, previous relationships and children made everything just a bit more challenging than they would have liked. But love prevailed.

They never made the decision to not get married, they just didn't have the time. There was always something in the way.

Until 2016.

When they just decided "fuck it".

And after 44 years of life together

They lived happily ever after

Where do you find these things?

I have sources

Do you just sit around and google 'happy stories'

No, but I should start

That seems like a worthwhile pastime

My favourite pastime is napping

I'm gonna do a bit of that now

To further recover from your stab wound

Colin and Sally's lifetime of love wasn't enough????

They fixed my heart a bit, but other things hurt too

Okay, then sleep

Thank you

Feel better


still up?

I'm here

hi

Good evening

how official

Good evening, Sir

good evening,

pronouns?

Also Sir

good evening, sir

how do you do

Well

Really really good now

Thank you.

been up to much while i was passed out?

Reading

And not ripping pages out

i'm fine if you never mention that again

As you wish

what page are you on?

I'm at the part with the sharks

how do you like it so far

I was very confused at first

oh yeah, should've warned you

I still can't tell whether he was being serious or not?

all made up

The stuff about his son?

he has two daughters in real life

Thank you

i always skips those parts when i'm rereading

You can do that?

yeah i just read the story bit

I'm really enjoying that

i'm gjkhjh

glad, i'm glad

sorry

Everything okay?

yeah

fell

Are

Yes you said you're okay. Okay.

and i really am

promise

Okay

You have too much limb for casual falling. Seems dangerous.

used to it

That's not better

you're clumsy, why can't i be

Again, there's so much more limb

true, you're super short

Oi, that's not the point

tiny

Nooooooot the pooooooint

cute

Distracting

it's a nicer subject

Fair

tell me what you're wearing?

Well

My fuzziest bath robe

And because it's fuzzy that means it's Lily's, but shhhh

colour?

White

your hair down?

Up with my

Pencil

oh, sure

Sure?

totally normal

Yes?

no not really??

It's comfy

if you say so

I do it often, that's where I usually keep my pencils.

sounds cute

Feels nice

i'm gonna fall back asleep soon

Hmm

Okay

sorry

Don't be sorry

Please

okay

Will this be it for the night?

probably

Do you want to questions?

We can do it later if you're too sleepy

no now is okay, go ahead

How well do you sleep when you're here, with Alice?

better than when i'm alone usually

Yeah?

mhm

nice to have someone close

I understand that

never slept with anyone i liked romantically

No?

no

Me neither

my turn?

Yes

will that answer change once i'm added to the list?

I

Yes

mine too

Really?

??

yes

You're not just saying it because I said it and you're sleepy and whatever else?

I'm saying it because I mean it.

Okay

do you want to call or is it too early and you're still doing things?

No I want to call

I'm just going to read for a bit

okay

 

***

"Remus"

"Remus?"

"Remus wake up"

"Remus please"

"Remus!"

"Please!"

"Remus what's going on?"

"Remus!"

"Please stop please please be okay, Remus, please"

˝Wh- Fuck. Fuck shite fu-˝

"Remus, are you awake? Please, please stop screaming, Remus, please"

˝Where t-the hell's the ph-˝

Remus

ssorry

im sorry

No

Fuck Remus what was that?

i'm s

What's going on

Please

im ok

please dont worry

Don't worry?

You were screaming

A lot

And not just

That was screaming screaming

I am worried

shouldnt have heard im sorry im sor

sorry

Please

Please don't be sorry

I just

What happened?

Why?

nothing nothing happened

Okay

Okay you won't tell me

Just

it's just how it is

This thing. You still don't have to talk about it. But what

What kind of bad is it

it hurts and i sscream what more is tthere

It

I'm sorry

I'm sorry

i am

Okkay then they cancel each other out and no one can be sorry

never shouldve

the fuck wwas i thinking

What

Never should've what?

 

Remus

 

Are you

Maybe not okay. Obviously. But are you there?

 

I don't like this.

I have to go to work now. I wish I knew

Anything.


On break, checking in.

Hi


Okay

 

I miss you

 

I don't know what to do. I've never come home from work and not talked to you.

 

I'm sorry

Dad found me throwing up in the bathroom and he gave me a p

pill for the pain and it put me to sleep. Sorry. I'm feeling a bit better at the moment.

Good!

That's really good

Yeah. It helps a little but I hate taking it, because he always throws in my face later how expensive it is

F

Just. Do what feels better, please

I can't talk for long

Maybe another half hour

I'm not ignoring you, okay? When I don't reply. Just won't be able to.

I know that. I wasn't feeling ignored before. I was worried and fixating. I'm sorry. I know you just couldn't. It'll be better this time with some warning.

Remus?

Yeah?

This gets worse before it gets better, doesn't it?

Yeah.

Okay

I

I'm here

Thank you

I wish I could do anything at all. But I'm here. I can be that. I'm here caring about you through it.

i don't deserve that

What?

Of course you do

how was work?

It was fine

I was distracted, I don't really remember much of it

sorry

No more sorry

okay

Said bye to James for the night

he's staying at lily's?

Yeah

what's peter doing?

I

Dunno

i don't want you to be alone

I can be alone

not saying you can't

I'll call him when you

In a little while

okay

Are you wearing something comfy?

the smiths tshirt

Good, that's good

yeah

Can you listen to something?

no

Okay

i'll be alright

always am in the end

more or less

I'm

Going to try to view that as positive

i'm sorry i scared you tthis morning

I was only scared for you

I knew it couldn't be pleasant, but I didn't know

How much pain

it's not t

that bad

Okay

i

i have to go now

Okay

I'm

Here

 

I'm spending the night at Pete's

Thank you


We're going to read TPB together. Pass it back and forth.

That and a bottle of wine

 

New rule: whoever doesn't have the book has the bottle

 

This denegrated

Degenereted

Degenerated

Very quick quick

Gonna watch instead

The moviei

Dont have to read thos pesky worrds

Pete say I have a

Schockingly

Low tolerence

 

I think thisis my favourite part

 

Nope this my favourit

 

I feels so close to these cara

Charict

These people



I'm worrying again. We fell asleep before the end, it's been a few hours, I just woke up. I know it's because you can't, but that doesn't make me less worried.

Good luck Moony

<3

 

***

 

ok

 

i'm okay. dad taking me to the hospital now

can't have the phone there so have a good day alright?

Okay. I'll talk to you when you can.

Don't think you get out of questions so easy. Double round next time

okk

Heal well, Remus

t hanks

I'm thinking of you the whole time

 

 

Hey, star person. I'm on my lunch break and Remus asked me to take his phone and update you; he's doing alright, all patched up. Will probably be sore for the next day or two, but he has some medicine and with some rest and sleep it should all be okay soon. He doesn't have to stay overnight, so he'll text you in the evening when he gets home.

It's over? The bad part's over?

And

I mean, hi, Alice, it's really good to hear from you

No need for pleasantries. Yes, the bad part is over.

But it is good to hear from you

Thank you.

No problem

He's really okay?

He's really okay.

Okay

Thanks

How are you?

Oh, I'm fine. I'm good, really

Hm. Okay.

Can I ask you something?

You can ask, but I can't promise I'll answer.

I don't want details. I don't want to know anything he wouldn't tell me.

Just

Is it

Like

Is it a terminal thing?

It's not going to kill him, but he won't get better. There's no cure. There's some work being done that would make living with it easier, but very little. Not a lot of people care or sympathise with his condition.

Okk

Thanks

I have to get back now

Yea

Ok

Hhave a good shift

Take care.

I will



 

i'm back home

Hi! Hey, how are you?

i've been better

I'm sure of that

i'll be okay

just gonna take a shower and go to bed

Okay

Thank you. For texting me. You must be exhausted

wanted you to know i was alright

That means a lot

you mean a lot

Oh

You do. And I'm really relieved you're okay.

The worst is over for now?

yeah. just need rest

Okay

Then rest

i miss talking to you

M

God, me too

i'll be better tomorrow

Take your time. I know you're okay, I can be better now

sorry

Definitely don't be that

ruined your day

That's not

You didn't.

My day was unimportant

no

You're important

cause more harm than good

No

This, right now, talking to you

It's worth everything. You're worth worrying about.

You didn't cause me harm.

ookay

Thank you

have a good night

Y

Okay

Have nice rest


I told myself I'd let you text first. We see how well that's going.

I'm heading out of Pete's now

Going home but I'll be okay, I promise

 

call me if you're still up?

I'm up

Calling

 

"Remus?"

"..."

"Remus."

"..."

"Goodnight."

 

***

Good morning.

Good morning

How was sleep?

The second part was okay

Okay, good enough, I suppose

I feel okay

That's even better news

I'm gonna go take that shower I never got last night. Ten minutes and I'm back.

Holding you to it

Promise I'll hurry

 

See?

Oh, I smell breakfast

Yessss, mum made waffles

Love having ice cream for breakfast

Tea?

 

Sirius?

I went with a fruity one


Should I be worried?


This isn't fun

Quite frankly, it sucks

And I don't really have a right to complain, because you've just been on the other side of this

And I can't be sure if you're okay or not, you could be perfectly fine, but you knew I wasn't and still couldn't do anything

I'm sorry


A thought went through my mind that maybe you're doing this on purpose so that I'd see what it's like, and I'm sorry for that, because I know you'd never do that.

I hope everything's okay.


I'm in bed now but I'm not going to sleep until I hear from you and know that you're okay

I don't think I could, even if I wanted to.

 

I'm sorry

I'm so sorry

Are you still awake?

I'm up, are you okay?

I'm

I'm okay

Yes I'm okay

I have a visitor

Oh

I

You should sleep

And I'll tell you everything tomorrow

We owe each other so many questions, I'm counting every one

Alright.

I am okay, I promise. And not hearing from you was awful and I never meant to do that to you. I lost track of everything today, I'm sorry

That's alright. Just really glad to hear you're okay.

I am

I have

Everything

Reg is here. In my flat. In my home.

Reg. As in Regulus?

Yes

And everything's good?

Things are

Yes

Tomorrow

Everything tomorrow

Okay.

Goodnight<3

Thank you

Don't know what for, but you're welcome.

Chapter Text

Okay. So you went to shower and I was clearing some stuff in the kitchen and there was a tiny tiny knock on the door. I wasn't even sure it was real. And I went and it was them. It was Reg. And I was in shock, I think, because I didn't really. Do anything.

And they asked if they could

Oh

They.

They're agender, going by they/them now

So anyway, they asked if they could come in and I said okay and I made tea and we sat in the kitchen

And they had a bit of a breakdown. Well another one. Because they had one at school and that's why they came to find me.

But they're realizing they'll be leaving school soon and starting real life and they've just made all of the wrong choices.

I agree with them there

And they don't know what to do. Enter older sibling.

So yesterday I just let them get everything out, and I told them a bit of what I've been up to.

I'm worried. I'm worried either you or James is going to tell me to wake up and not trust them or something. I don't want that. Remus, I'm so happy. Having them. They're here. They're in my room. They're in my home. They're in my life. They're safe. I'm fucking vibrating with relief. I don't want to be told I can't have this.

 

No one's gonna tell you that. I'm not gonna tell you that. If you trust them, that's good enough for me.

Good morning

Good morning

I think it's great that they came to you for help.

I really

Don't have words for it

It's unbelievable

They're still sleeping and I'm just

Happy?

I'm so happy

I'm happy for you

Gonna go make a smoothie since I have the blender to myself and hope I don't wake them

Good luck

<3

I like those

I'm glad

What did you do yesterday?

Rested. It was all very exciting.

How are you feeling now?

Good

I'm

So relieved to hear that

I told you I'd be fine

I believed you

Sort of

Tea?

Chamomile?

Perfect

Sounds soothing right now

Not if you spill it on yourself

Well

Then don't?

Too late

Moonyyyyyy

I'm fine, I'm fine

Please be

I am, I promise

Thank you

New mug and fresh muffins

Moony.

Moony.

More important things

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

More important than muffins?

I doubt that

Yes.

Socks

Socks and scones

Oh, they got there?

They diiiiiid

I love these

Oh wow they're perfect I love them

I'll tell her

What

Oh!

I'm sure they are too, go right ahead

But I meant the socks

Oh

Glad you like them

I love them

Glad you love them, weirdo

Who opens a package and doesn't immediately go for food

What???

Normal people???

Comfyyy

The scones are also perfect, thanks to your mum

She says you're welcome

Amazing as ever

Oh oh wait

Waiting

Two opinions on the scones, Reg says they're perfect also

And they like my socks, too

They don't love them? Rude

Mostly I think they're confused

Do they not know what socks are?

They didn't understand why they were So Special

Well they are just socks

They are not

They're soft and colorful and perfect and they smell nice

Okay okay

Thank you

This! Fiend!

Is trying to take all my scones!

You have the recipe now, you can make more for yourself

Oh you know they'll never be quite the same

Let the starved child eat

Starved??? They've been at

At school

They probably haven't been eating though, you're right

Yeah, that.

Wait

School.

In Scotland.

They came to you to London from Scotland??

Yes

Without calling first or anything? When they didn't even know if you were gonna answer the door?

Yes

So it was really really bad.

Yes

Are they better now?

Well they're EATING all my SCONES, they seem PRETTY HAPPY to me

They're okay.

We have to talk about what comes next though.

How much of school do they still have left?

Exams are coming up. Just a few weeks, really

Do they think they could manage that?

We're about to find out

Okay

Am I asking too many questions?

You can just tell me it's none of my business

What? No

They're good questions

Okay

You're helping me focus, it's good

Okay. Is it safe? If they go back

I think so. I think.

Are they going to get in trouble for leaving?

No.

I'm writing to a professor I'm still in contact with.

The one you tried to take out on dates?

What?????

Who told you that????

Irrelevant

It's really not???

We have a very special bond, yes.

I would imagine that after asking her out twelve times per term you'd develop one, yes

It wasn't twelve!

That's not what I heard

You heard wrong, they're spreading rumors, whichever one it was

So tell me how it really was

She is the light of my life, we had something special

Wow

In a very platonic not creepy teacher/student way

Okay good

I didn't get that feeling, but thanks for making it clear

She was there for me a lot. A lot a lot. More than I deserved, when I was having trouble with my family. I acted out in classes and racked up a bunch of detentions and since she was my head of house she was in charge of punishment. So I'd be in her office at least once a week for a while and while I did whatever mundane thing I had to do we'd talk. And talk and talk and talk.

Okay, now I understand.

She sounds great.

So she's Regulus' head of bourse too?

Well no

But she'll sort it out

Oh

I just thought

Okay

Different houses

Okay

They're going to stay here a few days until they've calmed down and sorted themselves out enough to be sturdy against their "friends" before they go back to school

That sounds like a good plan.

I think so

Oh

I should tell James

Probably, yes.

Probably before he gets home

Wait, he doesn't know they're here at all?

Um

No

Call him.

I am I am

Good


Okay he knows

What did he say?

We talked for awhile

He's coming home now to talk to Reg and let them know he supports them too

That's good

Yes.

You doing alright?

I am

I will be

Do their parents know where they are?

No.

Good.

I need it to stay that way

Then that's how it will stay.

I think so

We're talking

They're coming back after school ends

Reg, back to yours?

Yes

Are they going to uni in the fall?

Probably not

Have any other plans?

Well they did

Now they don't

Alright

They need time

That's perfectly okay

That's what I keep telling them

Coming to you was a great first step

You think I can do this?

Help your sibling? Yes.

Without a doubt.

I can

Barely take care of myself

You don't have to take care of them. Just help and be there.

Yeah

Yeah okay

And you're not alone.

I'm not

You have a bunch of amazing people around you, and I'm sure they'll all help

I know

And you

And me. Whatever you need.

Thank you

You're welcome, Pads

James just got here, I'll text you after the family meeting?

I'll be here.

Okay


You here?

I'm here

We're settling

Everything okay?

Yes

It's going to be really hard on them

But I know they can do it

You can't tell me more about it, can you?

Just

I can't right now

Okay

I'm sorry

No, it's okay, really

Yeah?

Yes

I need you to know it's not a trust thing, I just can't say

I know. I understand.

Okay

Thanks

Tell me something that you can

Like are they also super short?

They're normal size, yes

We look a bit alike, their hair is shorter and less straight

Their eyes are darker

They're quieter

When was the last time you spoke?

Three years?

That's a lot

Yeah

There's a lot to say

You've got time now

We do, don't we?

You do

Wow

I

I really thought

Good thing you're not always right

Yeah

They're in your life.

They are

I'm talking to them

They're here

They don't

Hate me

Of course they don't hate you, Sirius

They did

I think they did

Well they were wrong to

Well

Dunno about that

But it doesn't matter now

Do you want me to stop talking about it?

Not necessarily. Just. I think convincing me otherwise just gives my brain an excuse to think of counterarguments

Okay, won't do that then

Thanks

You know how you said I should go do something special because I'm done with my exams?

I know you probably had something more extravagant in mind, but

Oh

Ohhhhhhhh wow

Bubbles

Perfect

No, that's perfect, Moony

It's really nice

I'm smiling

That's the best thing I've heard

It's pretty and relaxing

I can imagine

What are you doing?

Lying on the table waiting for them to get ready

We're going to go for a long walk

In my professional opinion as a person who's outside right now, that's a really good idea

Well I trust you, so okay

Fresh air and whatnot

Yeah yeah all that

So I guess I'll hear from you later?

I guess

There isn't enough Moony in these days, for the record I do not endorse this

Me neither

We could do all the questions tonight if you'll have time?

Please

Okay.

Enjoy your bubbles, cutie

i

I will


I should not

Have worn

A skirt

Why not?

Because owwwwwwww

How do people walk places in skirts?  How?

The same as they walk in trousers?

No

Not the same as trousers

My thighs don't burn like hellfire in trousers

Oooh, that

Yes that

Alice always wears cut up leggings underneath

Or just uses some deodorant if the weather's too warm

But

Oh

Okay maybe that

I like the whooshy skirt feeling

Let the record show I buried my face into the pillow because that's too cute

Awwww!

Yes, exactly

Let the record show same, but I didn't have a pillow so it was this wall

Yours was probably comfier

Probably

Oh well

Good walk otherwise?

Yes

We talked a lot

Cried a bit

Mostly talked

That's good

Yes

Just

Make sure you get some time for yourself.

To just breathe.

Because this all sounds like a lot.

Oh

Yeah

Yeah

Also maybe drink some tea

Okay

What kind?

Oh

I'm never on the other side of this

Something herbal

Hmmmm okay

Maybe lavender if you have it

Or chamomile, you pick that a lot

It's my favourite

But lavender sounds perfect right now

I think I'll have one too

Ooooh join me

That's the plan

Mmmm thank you

But mine's gonna have sugar in it

Gross

Isn't

Probably is though

Nope

Mmmmmmhm

Well I like it

Enjoy it

As much as one can enjoy drinking tea alone

But it's not alone

Okay, true

I know, though

Oh well

Sure wish I had a scone with this

All gone??

Long gone

There were so many!

I

Am

Aware.

I am impressed.

You would be

Reg sounds like my sort of person

Hmph

That was a lot of food even for me

Well maybe not a lot

But a good amount

Hmphhhhh

I still have muffins from this morning

Mmm

So good

Well now that's just rude

You're the worst

Thank you!

I want

You can't have

Hmph

Are you pouting?

No

Awww, you are

I am not

Aren't you tho

Noo

Cute

I know you are

Oh don't try to turn this around

Too late now I'm thinking about how cute you are, can't stop me

Aha, so cute

Like, say, a muffin

Hmph

I'm sure you can find something else that's good to eat

Eh

Snacks before dinner are important

Oh sure

Almost as important as snacks after dinner

Is there some time of day you're not eating?

Well you know I sleep a lot

Of course

It's not my fault food tastes good

Judging on the way you make risotto, I'd say it's a safe bet that when food tastes good, it really isn't your fault

Ouch

;)

For your information, I'm a natural at seasoning. So if I manage not to burn it before, which, admittedly, isn't very often, the food tastes not just good, but great because of me

Oh you'll have to prove that

Won’t be a problem

Good

I get it from mum

Cute

Sure

Hey

Questions?

Oh, sure

How many are we behind?

Three to make up, one for tonight

Okay, so three before dinner and one before sleep?

Yes

You go first

Did Alice tell you what we talked about?

Yes

Is that okay?

I should have waited to talk to you, I've felt guilty about having a conversation about you without you there ever since, especially when it's not necessarily something you wanted to share. I was in a bad place. I was worried. A lot. I just. There isn't a good excuse for it. I'm sorry. Was it okay?

It was okay, Sirius, don't feel bad about it

Yeah?

No part of me was upset because of it

Are you sure?

I'm sure.

Okay

Do you think

Occasionally.

Funny.

Do I think?

Once I tell you, and you freak out, do you think you could give me a chance to try to explain a bit more?

What do you mean?

The illness?

Yeah, the

Whole thing

I promise. You will have a chance to explain everything. You'll have all the chances.

Okay.

Thank you.

You are very welcome.

My turn?

Yeah

Will I be able to ask questions about it?

Yes. However many you'll want.

Okay

What Alice told you, does it change things for you?

No.

Okay

I've thought it through, there's nothing it could be that would make me change my mind about you. Because nothing you could """""""have"""""""" could negate the conversations we've had and that's the you I

I really really like

Okay

I'll try to believe that

Please believe that

If anyone, I'll believe you

That's something

Why don't you want to tell me?

Just why. Not "What".

Because there are other things I'd have to tell you before that. Some that I can't yet, and some that I'm not ready to talk about. And because I'm scared.

Okay

I'm sorry

Don't be sorry, please

Does it feel like I'm lying to you?

Not in the slightest.

You've been as honest with me as you can be and I appreciate all of it.

Okay

Your turn

Oh

I lost track of what we count as questions and what are just sub-questions

I had to go back and recount

We could

Just count that as one each, since it was all in the same area

Okay, that works

And technically makes it your turn

How do you take your toast?

Talk about a change of subject

Butter and jam

Well I dunno

And?

I'm not complaining

And more butter?

I don't like beans on toast

No I meant

Jam and butter? Not jam OR butter?

James does that, it just seems so excessive

What, of course jam AND butter

You can't just have one without the other??

Excessive

Is not

But like, you can't even taste the butter under the jam. What's the point?

It needs to be there, it makes the toast all buttery

Uggggh

Do you smoke?

No

I tried.

To tick my mum off

James would've decked me if I hadn't hated it anyway

Made everything smell unpleasant. I cannot abide that.

Your lungs and my tongue are grateful

You

What

Hm?

I prefer my kisses to taste of nicer things

Uh huh

You don't think so?

Oh I think so

Oranges, remember?

Right.

Mhm

Your turn

Do you think about that?

About what

About the

That part

Happening

It crosses my mind

Like

How?

How?

How

When it crosses your mind

Just like a kiss.

Like a nice, hypothetical future kiss

But it's nice?

The nicest

The nicest

Yes

What if it's not?

Then it won't be

And we're left with two options

Yeah?

We either decide kissing isn't for us, or we practice more

And either way is okay

Oh

We

If we decide it isn't for us, does that mean

Would we just

We would just not kiss

Nothing else has to change

It wouldn't for me.

For me, this isn't

It's not all leading up to that.

It's just one way it could go

Admittedly, a way I'd really like

But still

If it won't, it won't be the end of anything

Would I still be allowed to like you like this?

I don't see why not

Okay

Okay

I like the other bit

The other bit?

The part about practicing

Oh

Your turn?

When we decide to meet, can that not be a date?

Yes

No, I mean. I mean it won't be a date.

I'd like to meet you properly

Okay, good.

Me too.

I never thought it would be, but then Alice made some comments, so I thought I'd ask and make it clear

You know that's

It's like that for me too?

I just want to keep talking to you, whatever capacity it's in.

Yeah?

Yes

Okay

Um

Mum's been calling me to dinner for the last ten minutes, talk after?

Yeah


Hi?

I'm here

Hey

I didn't plan to be gone that long, sorry

No sorry

I am, because I'd rather be here

You're here now

I am

How are things there?

Quiet

Reg took my bed, they've been asleep for a bit now

You with James?

Yup yup

I sort of want to ask to speak with him and ask him if you're doing okay, but I don't want it to seem like I don't trust that you're okay when you tell me you're okay, because I do.

Oh, a request to speak to me? To what do I owe this honour?

Oh

Hi

Is Sirius doing okay?

Hey

Ah

She's doing okay, all things considered. She'll probably express all of it when they leave, but I don't think she realizes she's suppressing anything. So I'm worried about later, but she's alright right now. Talking about her family is never a positive experience and that's almost exclusively what's been going on.

Is there anything I can do?

You seem to be taking her focus off of the bad stuff pretty well on your own

What did she say to you before dinner? She won't say but she was freaking out and not about her sibling

I don't feel like I'm doing enough. Freaking out how?

No idea. Distracted, kept dropping things

In a bad way or in a kind of cute way?

Oh lord it's both of you

Cute way

Okay then I can't tell you anything

Wait what if I said in the bad way???

You'll never know

Damnit

This is a good thing, right? With Reg.

It's huge. And having known about everything from the start, I'm still processing it myself. But I think this is the best thing that could have happened to her

Okay. Good.

That's good

Thank you.

No problem

Can I have her back please?

I suppose

Did I get a good report?

Thank you

Well???

It was satisfactory

Hmmm okay

Heard you were being cute

Probably heard right

Are you

Okay about everything?

Yes

Okay

Do you want me to not call tonight?

Because James will be here too?

You'd still want to?

I want to

But I understand if it's uncomfortable

I think I'd be okay with it

Really???

Does he snore?

Oh

Not terribly.

But we talk

If you don't mind me hearing..

I

Don't

You don't sound too sure

No I really don't

It won't be that much anyway

Okay then

Okay

But questions first, yeah?

Oh yes, obviously

Okay

You?

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Well

I think right here.

Yeah?

I love it here. I'm close to all the things and people I want to be close to

Sounds nice

Yeah

Your turn

What's your favourite holiday?

Hanukkah

Okay, why?

Latkes

I have a horrified sort of respect for your relationship with food

I've never had a latke

Well, you'll just have to come round here in December

Deal

Great

Should I call?

My record's still playing, so I can't guarantee perfect silence, but I am pretty close to sleep, yes

Mm okay

Goodnight

Tell me after I fall asleep

Okay

Perfect

Calling

 

"You're both such nerds."

"GoodNight, Prongs."

"Goodnight nerds."

 

"Pads, are you still awake. Pads. Padfoot! Oh good, you are."

"Mnnnnn. Am now, you prat. Okay?"

"Don't you think it's sad that pigeons can't watch movies? I just learned that today. From a movie. Which they couldn't watch! Isn't that sad?"

"Why can't pigeons watch movies?"

"They eyes are too good, the pictures move too slow."

"Their eyes are too good? Do you think that's why you really like movies now? 'Cause your eyes are shite?"

"Oi!"

"I don't really think people make movies pigeons would be interested in anyway."

"What kind of movies do you think would interest pigeons? You don't know. They could like romantic comedies."

"Pigeons are so emotionally far beyond trivial human interactions like in romantic comedies. They have better things to worry about."

"Like who next to shite on."

"Carefully planned bird shite. They know what they're doing."

"I still think it's sad."

"I don't disagree. I just think we're more sad about it than the pigeons are."

"Ughhhh of course we are, because we're looking at it from our perspective and thinking about us as pigeons when really we have no idea what it's like to be a pigeon. Their values are different, but that's hard to imagine, because people suck and we think ours are the only right ones and those of other beings are lesser. Why do we suck so much, Pads?"

"That's what I was trying to say. It's just in our nature. Humans are more narcissistic than pigeons."

"Ugh."

"You wanna go feed some pigeons and ask them about their day tomorrow?"

"Probably, yeah, wanna come?"

"Yes. Wait, is it condescending to feed them? Or helpful?"

"Oh, crap... I don't know. Let's think about that in the morning."

"Okay."

 

"Uhhh stop poking me."

"I'm not poking you. I'm nosing you."

"What d'you want?"

"..."

"..."

"Are you awake?"

"Mhm."

"If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?"

"I CAN live anywhere in the world and I'm here, so here."

"That's what I said."

"Boyfriend asked you?"

"Mhm."

"I wouldn't mind being somewhere that's a bit more green, but I'd have to move you all with me."

"Green like back to Scotland? Or green like deep rainforest?"

"Nah, somewhere with more sun."

"Ugh what is it with you and this sun fetish?"

"I like happiness?"

"You're gross."

"Shut up."

"Fine. Gimme your arm."

"Take it yourself."

"You're so laaaazy."

"Only when I sleep."

"Go back to sleep, lazy."

"Mmmhm."

 

"Hey, Sirius?"

"Mmmmmm."

"Love you."

"Love you too."


"Sirius?"

"..."

"You two are... I don't even know. I really like what you two have, I really like your friendship. Just. Yeah. I don't know. Goodnight. Sweet dreams to both of you."

"Goodnight, Remus."

"Oh."

"Sleep well."

"Thanks, James. You too."

Chapter Text

Good morning

Good morrow

Do you have work today? Because if not I'm going back to bed

Rude!

I could feign work just so you have to stay awake with me

But no, I don't

If you did that you'd get me for an hour and then have to not text for eight. This way you just have to let me sleep for three more, so I'd say that's a better deal

Well when you logic like that

Sweet dreams Moonpie

Mm



I had a dream that I was Hansel from Hansel and Gretel. So there was some sweetness, but I also almost died.

Who?

Is that a movie?

It's a children's story?

Oh

Okay

They're brother and sister and after their parents leave them in the woods, they find a house made of gingerbread and candy, and they start eating it

That sounds like you

But then the witch who lives there almost eats them

Oh

It's an evil witch story?

Aren't they all evil in mu

most stories?

My problem exactly

Yeah, it's not really right.

I don't like it

Me neither. But it's not like

Like?

Nothing

You didn't die in the dream though?

No, it followed the story

That's not very original, I give this a 6/10

Sorry to disappoint

There's always tomorrow

Or just later today

Hmph

Or that

Tea?

Green

Okay

I beg you to leave the sugar where it is

No thanks

I'm gonna call Alice, she won't judge me

Then I'm judging her too

If that's how you want to waste your energy

I really do not

 

Alice sends her love

I send mine back

How are things?

Okay

We're going to a park to commune with pigeons

Oh, you were serious about that

I don't know why I'm surprised

You heard that?

Yeah

Oh

Oops

Yeah we were serious

I wish you the best of luck

Wait! What do you think. Is feeding them condescending?

Hmm

No

No?

Nah

Your logic?

They seem pretty happy when people do it

That's true

And they can always refuse if they don't want it

Also true, I guess

Okay, we'll bring stuff

Have fun

Thank you!




We have fed and named every pigeon in the city

Really. Every single one.

I do believe so, yes

Let me hear them

My favourite was Buttercup. They landed on my shoulder. And Helga and Row tried to follow James home. Most of their names were really just sounds, though, like "Bloop" and "Skra"

Helga and Row.

They just took a liking to him

Of course they did, who doesn't like James

Exactly

So you fed the pigeons, did you feed yourself too?

I had nibbles of the bread I guess

That doesn't count

I'll eat

Okay

They did earlier

Did James try to feed Reg kale yet?

Reg very politely drank an entire glass

Oh god, ew

I admire them a bit, but. What a fool.

Hah

Yeah

Now they'll have to drink it all the time

There's no escape

I think I'm going to talk to James about it

Okay, that might be an escape, good luck with it

Thank you

<3

What did you do?

Worked

Worked?

Yeah. Dad talked to me yesterday after dinner, that's why I got back so late. About how much I cost him. So now I'm doing his paperwork.

That

Sure. Okay.

It's fine, it's fair

No. Call it what you want but not fair. Please.

I'm of age, it's his house, he could kick me out if he wanted to, it's his good will that he helps pay for the medical bills, I should be grateful, bla bla bla

Yeah that. None of that is fair.

Maybe not, but it's true

His good will?

No?

Don't care if you're a legal adult, you're still his kid

He barely thinks so

Yeah

Whatever

How is the paperwork?

Dusty

20 year old files

Ew

Yeah

Are you still doing that?

Yeah

Have funnnnnn

<3

No don't

Don't leave

I'm not

I wasn't going to

Ookay

Hey are you alright?

Mhm

Moony?

I'm fine

Okay

Just not the most fun thing to do

Sounds about right

It's

It's about what I have

My dad used to... do research on it.

Before I had it.

What do you

Oh

Oh okay

Like he researched it when you were

Dunno, diagnosed?

Like he was an expert in the field and fought for all infected to be... removed from society, for a lack of a better explanation. And when he almost managed to put one guy, admittedly a very bad person, in jail, the guy thought it would be a fun revenge to infect his kid.

What

Remus

What

That was a lot

Sorry

No, that's not what I mean

I'm over it

I'm

Not

I need time with that.

Removed from society?

I knew your dad was an arse I didn't know he was

Like mine

I don't just hate him for no reason

I didn't think you did but

Yeah, well

I'm sorry

Me too

You were

It was intentional

Yeah

I don't know what to say

You don't have to say anything

I don't

Think any differently of you with this information, you know.

Okay

I just want that to be very clear

Okay

How long do you have to do that for?

Until I get everything done

How can I help make it easier?

I think I'll stop for the day

Okay

I am

Thank you

It's not pleasant going through all of it, but it's nothing I don't already know. So I'm okay, you don't have to worry. But I'd appreciate your company while I'm doing it.

I'm here

That's all I need

Okay

I'm gonna go take a walk.

Give you some time with this.

Oh

Alright

Would you rather I not?

I don't need time with it. There's nothing to process. I'm angry with your father. I'm frustrated that I can't, I dunno, give you a hug or something. It's awful, but it changes nothing

Alright

I'm still gonna take a walk, but I'll take you with me

Thank you

If you were an animal, which animal would you be?

Dog. Easy. Next question.

If you were a plant, which plant would you be?

Maybe a succulent

I just think they're neat

Neat

Sure

If you were a fruit, which fruit would you be?

I am a fruit.

Quince

I have no idea what that is

It's

A sort of ambiguous fruit

It looks like a pear, it's used like pears and apples and kind of tastes like them but it's neither of them, it's a quince

I like that.

Thank you

If you were a vegetable, which vegetable would you be?

Broccoli.

Ew

It's floral and also delicious

So you're saying you're delicious?

Well if that's how you interpret it

If you were an item of clothing, which item of clothing would you be?

That's too hard

Depends on too many things

Okay. If you were a musical instrument, which musical instrument would you be?

An oboe

Is there a reasoning?

No not particularly

Alright. If you were

Nah, I'm all out

If you were a flavour of hard candy, what would you be?

Butterscotch

Yummy

Mhm

If you were a type of blanket, what would you be?

A really shitty one. I'm cold all the time, I doubt I could make anyone warm.

So like

Loose knit, made of polyester

Yeah, that. A boring brown with lots of holes

That sounds like a cute shawl though

Great, so I'm not even a blanket

If you're better off as not a blanket, don't try to be a blanket. Play to your strengths

Well aren't you inspirational

I'm very deep.

I can see that

It's true

Which arm is your

Are you right or left handed?

Right

Lame

I'll take that as you're left handed and argue that that's not lame at all, it's actually perfect

State your argument

It would make it very easy for both of us to do things while also holding hands

Oh

Good argument?

Yes

Moony 8, Padfoot 1

I got one?

Yep

When?

Don't worry about it

I am worried about it!

I need to know how to replicate it

Nope, not telling

Hmph

Do you

Like holding hands?

I crave hands for holding

I like playing with fingers

Okay

Good to know

It soothes me

I like it too

I like doing the thumb thing

The little circles thing????

Yeah

I like the little circles thing

If you'll play with my fingers you're not allowed to make any comments about pianos

I won't make any comments about pianos.

Good

If you could pick the thing people notice first about you when they meet you, what would you want them to notice?

You mean appearance wise?

First thing you'd want a person to notice about you.

I don't know

That I'm kind?

That's a good thing to notice

What would you want?

Dunno

Anything really

Anything that's me

I want them to notice Me

Do you feel like I noticed You?

Yes.

I'm not confident that I would if I'd have just seen you on the street

Oh

Just trying to be honest. I think I'd be overwhelmed by all the cute to see other things right away.

Yeah

But I'm also confident that if I had a chance to talk to you for five minutes, or even just watch you be, I'd notice.

Yeah??

Without a doubt. You're so many things, I couldn't not.

I think you would

Do you think you would see past my

Everything?

No

I think I'd see and appreciate your everything as a part of you.

That was a shitty place to break a sentence

I didn't mean to break it

Tell me I'm cute so I can recover

Remus, you're really cute

I don't want to look past parts of you, I want to be allowed to like all of it. Because you're cute

I'll allow it

Thank you

It's not anyone's place to tell you what you can and can't like

Oh. Yeah

But would it be okay with you?

Yes

Then thank you

You're welcome

How is your walk?

I'm lying in the grass

How far did you actually walk?

Maybe a mile

I'll accept it

This is a well deserved rest

Enjoy it then

I am, I am

Reg and I are playing a game we used to when we were kids

Yeah, which?

It's a marbles game

How do you play?

I'll teach you sometime

It sort of defies explanation

Hah, okay

It's nice though

That's good. Have fun?

You don't have to go anywhere, we've been playing for a while

Unless your cute self wanted to relax in the grass

No, I'm okay.

I'm never sure if you still want to talk when you've got something else going on

Remus, if I have proper service and use of at least one hand, I want to be talking to you.

Okay.

And that doesn't mean you need to feel the same. If there are times you need space or your attention has to be elsewhere, that's perfectly fine

Okay

That's definitely not the case right now

Okay good

Should have brought bubbles

Next time

I could just

Yeah, next time

Going to walk all the way home to get bubbles and come back?

Hmm no

Didn't think so

Not because I'm lazy

Didn't say that

But did you think it?

No

I still have the image of you in the grass in my head and it just seems very comfortable

I wouldn't want you to leave

Won't until the sun goes down

Good

Peaceful

Mmm very good

Warm

You're going to fall asleep, aren't you?

Mhm

Enjoy that too

Thankyou

Sweet dreams



Why didn't you wake me uuuuup

Me???? I'm being blamed for this????

Who else knew I was asleep??

How was I supposed to do it?

I don't know, but you could've at least tried

Okay, my apologies, next time I will

I forgive you

How was it though?

Nice until I woke up

Oh

Sorry

Wet grass and a clear sky

That sounds nice?

No

The clear sky does

Not a fan

You prefer clouds?

I prefer day

But the stars

Are barely visible when the moon's this bright

Put your hand out in front of it and block out the light

Not exactly how it works

It helps a bit

I see you

You see me?

Sirius

Ye

Oh

Me

You see me

Mhm

The brightest

I can see

It's the only thing my parents gave me that I like

It suits you

Thank you

You're welcome

I won while you were sleeping

Oh, yay!

Congratulations

Thank youuu

Did you gloat?

Of course I gloated

Of course you did

Reg is not a movie person

This distresses me

How very not a movie person?

They fell asleep

They weren't even tired

Which movie?

TPB?????

I'm not sure I can like them now

Me too.

Shame

Oh well

You're watching it a lot

Because

Sometimes I don't have the attention for the book but I want to exist in it

You say that, but I know the real reason

Because it's amazing?

Because you can't get enough of Westley's moustache

How dare you

I don't hear you denying it

I deny it! I officially and formally deny it!

A bit late

No?????

I'm afraid so

No!

Yes

How long would you be able to date Westley before you shaved it off in his sleep?

Maybe a week

I think that's more than fair

It's just so

Awful

So awful

Are you still watching?

It's on, but I'm reading

Oh, double tpb

Exactly

Sounds nice

It's perfect

Nah

Close to it

Closeness is the missing element, yeah

Well

Yeah.

I hate this

What

I hate missing things I never even had

Oh?

How can you even feel like that

I dunno

But I get it

I don't hate it, that was a too strong of a word. I don't hate anything about what we have. The distance just sucks sometimes.

Okay

Thank you for that

And there's no getting around it. It sucks.

Yeah

Promise we'll do this?

Yes.

Okay

And that offer to read to you still stands

Don't think I've forgotten

Okay

I'm counting on it

Okay

Are you back home yet?

Just trying to slip upstairs unnoticed

Oh okay, I'll be extra quiet

I appreciate it

No problem

Success!

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you, thank you

Woo!!!!!!

That's a bit much

Just being loud now that I don't have to be extra quiet

Right, of course

Seemed appropriate

Are you going to sleep soon?

We're heading in that direction now

Questions?

Yes please

How do you paint? Do you need to be alone, does it have to be quiet, do you listen to music...?

I listen to music. And I don't have to be alone bit I have to be completely comfortable. So anyone who's there has to be someone I'm comfortable with.

Do

Okay

Yes?

Would I qualify as that?

I think you would.

I'd love to see you create.

You would?

Very much so

I want to try

Then try you will

And if I can't?

Then I'll just enjoy your paintings once they're done

You wouldn't be offended or disappointed?

I probably wouldn't completely love the feeling, but no, I wouldn't hold it against you

Okkay

Don't have to try at all if you'd rather not

No I meant it, I want to try

I just never Ever want to be the cause of you feeling

Dunno

Like that

We can wait until you're very comfortable around me in general and try then. Give me higher chances

Okay

I've done it while talking to you before

So no matter what, if it turns out that I can't, it's not You

I'm already flattered you'd want to try, my feelings are all good

Okay

Your turn

What's something you're weirdly good at?

Like something most people don't know because it's totally random but you're secretly proud of?

Untangling headphones

Really?

No, but I wish I were

Struggling?

Have been the entire walk home, and they're still a mess

That sounds dreadful

I guess I'm condemned to silence

Nooooo

Yep

I'm sorry

Eh, it's fine

I'm still waiting

On what?

Oh

I haven't actually answered

Ummm

Mhmm

I can fold paper airplanes really well?

And fast

Ohhh that's useful

It's come in handy a few times

Like when?

Diversions for pranks

Yessss

Thought you'd approve

I definitely approve

Sadly I don't have the greatest aim

You and James should team up

And prank you? Well, okay. Just remember that it was your own idea

Um no???

Is that not what you meant?

Oh well

Too late now

No?????????

Yes

I already came up with a perfect plan

Moonyyyyyyyyyy

Padfoot

Hmph

I won't, I won’t.

Probably

HMPH

Do you want to call?

Please?

Whenever

Okay

"Why yes of course you can borrow my pjs, thank you so much for asking!"

"You're welcome."

"Unbelievable."

"Awww, no, YOU'RE unbelievable."

"Just get your arse under here and stop letting in the cold air."

"Fiiiiine fine. But I look really cute in these, yeah?"

"You know you do."

"Soooo?"

"You look really cute, Pads."

"Why thank you!"

"Mhm. Shh now."

"You ssh now, you're the one being all loud."

"Unbelievable."

"Why are your feet so cold?"

"Shhh!"

"Okay okay okay."

 

"Hey, Sirius?"

"Hmm?"

"No, nothing, never mind."

"Tell me?"

"Lily and I have been talking."

"That's good."

"About living together."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well, you practically do. I really don't think you need to be worried about the normal things couples are worried about with that. You know you can stand each other four days and weeks and months on end. You'll be perfect, you two always are."

"Not worried about that."

"Good. James, this is fantastic news, what ARE you worried about?"

"Well... How would you feel about it?"

"I'd feel like my best mate's making good decisions for himself concerning the rest of his life."

"Yes, but this would affect you too."

"I realize that. I'll be okay."

"You're fine with her moving in?"

"Moving in, moving in here?"

"Well where else would she move in?"

"But I thought... I thought you meant you'd move out."

"What, no! No. She'd move in."

"Okay. Okay. Okay."

"You thought I'd move out, why would I move out, we've been here less than a year, I love it here, I love living with you... I'd just love living with Lils too."

"Because the way you said it like you thought I'd be upset. I thought you must be trying to say that."

"No. No, I'm sorry, I should've worded it differently, it just didn't cross my mind that you'd think that because doing that never crossed mine... Come here. I love you too freaking much to just move out. I just thought you might be upset because we've talked about sharing a flat since year one, and this wasn't part of the plan."

"No. We are sharing a flat. I love Lily, I love her being here all the time, her being here All The Time would only be better. And then you wouldn't be away so much to stay at her place. So really, this is even better for me."

"Yeah?"

"I would have supported you and been happy for you even if you'd decided to move out. But this, I'm just outright excited about. Do you want me to talk to her?"

"I can see that you're dying to, so yes."

"You can't see anything, it's dark and your glasses are on the table behind me."

"Aha."

"And I love you, too."

"Well, duh."

"Shhhhh."

"I can't shh, I'm too happy."

"I am too but I'm doing it quietly."

"You're no fun."

"You take that back, I'm the most fun."

"No fun."

"Am too!"

"Nu uh!"

"I'm the funnest!"

"That's not even a word!"

"I made it up, that's how fun I am."

"Amazing."

"I know I am."

"Go back to sleep, Sirius."

"Hmph."

"Goodnight."

"Night night."



"Sirius? James?"

"..."

"..."

"I feel a bit weird listening to your conversations. They seem too private and I don't think I have a right to them. But I can also never bring myself to not listen, or to hang up. They're just... You're really nice to listen to. Sweet dreams."



"Sirius, hey! Sirius! Wake up!"

"Wh-"

"Heyheyhey it's okay, it was just a dream. Just a dream."

"Yyeah. Yeah. No."

"Shhh it's okay. It's okay."

"Not, not, not, not."

"Breathe. Sirius! Look at me. Look at me. I've got you. Breathe."

"Mhm. Mhm."

"Good, that's good. Can you tell me what happened?"

"R-Remus."

"Remus? What did he do?"

"No! No he didn't- he didn't do anything, he was just..."

"He's okay. Remus is okay. He's sleeping. Nothing bad happened to him."

"It did, it happened, something happened."

"He's okay, listen, you can hear him breathe, he's okay."

"Yyeah. Yeah. Okay."

"Just breathe, Pads, yeah? It's all okay."

"Okay. Okay. Sorry."

"Oi! Rule 6, we don't apologize for nightmares. Do you want me to go get you a glass of water?"

"Mostly I'm sorry for kicking you. Yes, please."

"I'm fine. Be right back, okay, you just keep on breathing."

"Thanks."

"Here you go."

"..."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"He told me some stuff about his past that's really bad and, I dunno, he didn't go into detail, but now I'm imagining."

"Bad how?"

"Something bad. The thing that puts him in the hospital every month. He didn't say exactly and I won't ever make him."

"Oh, Pads."

"Yeah."

"Come here."

"Mmhm."



"Prongs? Hey, Prongs?"

"'M up."

"If Lily lives here, I could just borrow from her closet any time of day."

"'M not up anymore."

"And if Lily lives here, you could just... Live with her. Like she'd always be here, and you know those times when you're all 'I really miss Lily right now'? There just wouldn't be any more of those."

"Mmm yeah."

"I can't wait."

"How does next week sound?"

"Really?"

"She has her last exam on Friday, and she doesn't really have a strong desire to move back home for the summer."

"It sounds perfect."

"I'll let you tell her tomorrow, she's coming over for breakfast."

"Yeeeeeees thankyou!"

"Mhm, can I sleep now?"

"If you must."

"Wanna."

"Fine, fine."

"G'night."

"Goodnight."

"Be spoon."

"Mmhm."

"Mm thank you."

"Much better."

"Agreed."

Chapter Text

Good morning

Good morning!

Oh, cheery

It's a good day

Any specific reason?

Some reasons

Any you can share?

I could use a good day

I have work today and Reg is coming with me. They'll spend the day between the shop and the shops around it if they get bored.

And I get to ask Lily to move in with us officially today

Shouldn't that be James' job?

Nope, it's mine

How are you going to do it?

That's what I'm trying to decide now

My money's on you blurting it out before you follow through with the plan you'll come up with

That's not helpful!

I could be wrong

She could read it off of your face before you manage to get out a single word

Moony!

Sorry, did you want me to be more supportive?

Please

Nah, this is more fun

Hmph

When you write that, do you actually make the sound? Because I imagine you making the sound.

Oh

Maybe

Maybe?

Maybe.

Hmm okay

Rude

What is?

You is!

I is?

You is.

I strongly disagree.

You distracted me while I was pouting at you

Ha!

See? Do you see this very rude behavior?

Nope

Try it with your glasses, then

I'm wearing them

You are?

Yeah, I'm reading

Oh

Waiting for dad to leave before I venture into the kitchen

Okay

Anything good in there?

In the kitchen or in the book?

Sure, both

I want a particular boy
in slack jeans and a dirty shirt,
pulling that smile from his caution
that lights up everything, like a flare;
a flare that soars then collapses
till its brightness penetrates the water's cold
and the same blackness hasn't gone
although there's someone searching there
and the rescuer and the rescued are as one
in that the tragedy or heroism of it all
is not decided, in that we're both at sea
hoping to find another human being
who will reclaim meaning from the shocked void.

And there should be some toast.

Ohkay

Raspberry jam today I think

Don't forget the butter

I never do

Enjoy

Soon, hopefully

My fingers are crossed for you

Thank you

Anytime

So Lily's moving in?

Yessssssss

I'd ask how you feel about it, but I heard you

Oh, you did

You did

How long were you awake last night?

Not sure what time it was. I was up for maybe half an hour more after that

Okay

I should've hung up. Sorry

What? No

Of course not

It's my responsibility to hang up if I think there's something private

Okay

Was that the last thing you heard?

Your very adorable 'night night'

Okay

I think I was a little selfish later in the night

Had a nightmare I should've made sure you didn't have to be a part of

But you were breathing so steady and real and it was comforting

It didn't even occur to me I should hang up

If it helped, I'm glad you didn't

It helped

Do you want to talk about it?

I don't think so. I just want to be completely honest with you

Okay.

I don't know if it's the right call, because the very last thing I want is for you to feel responsible or guilty. But I had a bad dream about what you told me yesterday.

About what I told you yesterday.

About me?

Yeah

Ok

I shouldn't have said anything

No, I'm glad you did

I shouldn't have told you

No

Please

I'm so grateful you told me

Yeah, what good did it do?

I know. There's a bit less I don't know. You trusted me and that

That is good.

But you having nightmares isn't. You being hurt isn't.

And it's only going to get worse, the whole thing is so much worse

I'm not hurt, I'm fine. It was a bad dream, there's no harm in it

I've had worse, believe me

That's not

It was a bad dream. I'm not bothered by it

Fine

I'm sorry

Why, you're not bothered by it

I'm bothered by this

I don't want to hurt you, even if it is just in a dream

You didn't

Yet

Hey

What

It's true

If you're having nightmares about this, then

One, I had one stupid nightmare that shouldn't even have been worth mentioning

So far

Remus

What

I used to get nightmares a lot. Bad ones. Verging on night terrors. Some were memories, some were not. It was back when I first started school and I was beginning to recognize how bad things with my family were. James and Pete helped me through them and occasionally the school nurse had to as well. And then they all came true and my life got a whole lot better. But the point is, this is just how I process negative information. It's always been like this. It's just a dream. It's not worth this.

But what happens when I tell you more and you dream about that and then wonder when that will come true?

Remus

Nothing is going to change this.

You can have things in your life, in your past, in your future, that are bad, I just want to be there for you though them.

It's not about me being hurt, it's about me hurting you

You’re not hurting me

That's not hurting me

I don't

I don't want you to be scared of me

I'm not sc

What

No

Why would I be scared of you?

I'm not going to be. What could make me scared of you?

I can't

Don't

You don't have to say anything

But that's not going to happen.

You don't know that

I do, I have control over my own opinions.

Opinions can change

I'm sure they will. But never for fear or hate or disgust or whatever else you're worried about me thinking.

You're late for work

No I'm at work

You'll get in trouble

I told the manager it was something important, she told me just to be discrete

But it's not

It is to me

We're fine

I don't feel fine

Neither do I, but I don't know what you want me to say

I just want to be given a chance

I feel like you've written me off as the same as everyone else and I don't want to be that

I haven't. I'm just trying to prepare for the worst, because having expectations and things not turning out that way is getting too much

I don't want you to prepare for the worst from me?

I'm not expecting you to react the worst, but I need to consider it

But it seems like that's all you're considering

I'm not

I'm just afraid

Please remember I'm me? Let that factor in?

It's hard sometimes

Okay

It's not about you, it's not about me not believing you, it's about everyone else and my head convincing me otherwise

I know. I understand it. I just hate it.

I'm sorry

There's nothing to be sorry for

Thank you for talking to me about it

You too

I'll talk to you soon?

I'll be here

Sorry for ruining your good day

You didn't

Making it less good, then

Still nope

Less fun

I still have all the same things to be happy about

Okay

Thank your manager for me

I will

<3

Have a nice day<3


I still don't feel too good about it, but since you said I shouldn't be sorry, I'm just going to say I'm grateful for how patient you are with me.

And we were out of raspberry jam, so I had blueberry


Blueberry will do, I suppose

It was alright. Hi.

Hey

My boss says no problem as long as I don't take advantage

Doesn't seem like something you'd do

I wouldn't

Though if there was one thing that could tempt me it's the prospect of extra time talking to you

I'd refuse to reply

You wouldn't

If you were neglecting your job because of me? I would

I make decisions for me

And I make mine for me

I don't like that though, I don't like when people do what's "best for me" if it's not what I want

It doesn't matter. I won't do it anyway though.

I wouldn't do it because it would be best for you, I'd do it because it would be best for me, because I'd feel guilty if you got fired because of me

I guess

 

I don't like this

 

Remus please

 

Remus I'm really really hating this.

If you're just away and you're busy it'll be fine but I really wish you'd come back and tell me

Please

I don't like being ignored

 

I'm sorry

I'm sorry

I diddn't mean to upset you

I wasn't tthinking outside of myself

I'm sorry

 

Sirius?

I’m sorry

I didn't mean to upset, can you please reply?

These aren't sending why aren't these sending

Wh

Fuck

No, Sirius, what, why are you sorry, I'm not upset

I only just got all your messages

I wasn't upset, I'm sorry

Dad was working on something and he put

He blocked the signal, I didn't know

I wasn't ignoring you, you told me you hate that, I wouldn't do that

O oh

Trying not to be hurt that you think I would

I tthought I'd really fucked up

And it was too   much finally

But we were just talking

I know.I know.  I don't know

I'm sorry

Don't have to be

Not your fault

You're not too much

Okk

What can I do, how can I help?

You did

You are

I'm fine

I'm sorry I freaked out

Don't apologize, please

Okay

Are you?

I am

Yes

Okay

Are you?

No

Can I help?

You can help me decide with how much anger I should approach dad

I would like you to approach him with all the anger

But I also don't want him to take you away again

He won't. All the anger it is.

He won't?

I promise

Okay

I

That was weird

He just said "Sorry, I'll tell you before I do it next time."

What?

Oh

Okay

I don't know how to deal with him when he's being nice

It sounds strange

It happens sometimes. It's like he forgets for a moment that he's supposed to hate me. And it just makes it so much worse, because I get these glimpses of how it could all be different, that he's capable of being like that, but he chooses not to be towards me

Remus

What

I'm sorry

It is what it is

Unfair

Yeah

I'm glad he'll tell you next time though

Me too

That'll be better

I'd never purposely not reply. If I needed to not, I'd tell you.

Okay

I know you would

I panicked

I know, it's okay. Just wanted to say it again, so you really know

Thank you

It would fall under hurting you, and I think we've discussed plenty how very much I don't want to do that

It's just

I'd been thinking while I was at work. That it's kind of nice that we can talk and be unhappy but not be worried that the talking is going to stop. But then after, the talking turned unhappy again I started doubting and then

Just bad timing

Really bad timing.

But I agree, that is nice

Yeah

Do you have anyone around?

No

Waiting for Lily but she shouldn't be here for awhile

Where's Reg?

Oh, exploring!

We support this

I was

Not doing well earlier and I didn't want them to worry

But then they said they wanted to walk back to a bakery we'd passed the other day and I think them taking initiative is really good

That's really great, and I'm a big supporter of bakeries, but I need someone to give you a hug

I'll tell them or Lily, whoever gets here first

And for now I can hug myself

That's a strange mix of sad and adorable

That's me

Do you want to listen to a record?

Yeah

Yes

Okay

What do you have?

What do you feel like?

The Smiths, so we should listen to something very different

I have Zeppelin in front of me now

That would work, which album?

I have IV

Of course you do. Okay. Tell me when to count

Okaaaaay

Count

I'm just going to assume that the first song is your favourite one on here

I can't tell if you're being mean about it or not, I'm just enjoying feeling like you know me well enough to guess

Only being a bit mean

Well you're right and I don't care

Mine's the obvious one this time, so you can be mean about that back

Could, but I won't

I'll just listen to Stairway extra loud

Me too, so that I won't hear myself sing

Awww

I want to hear you sing

Sorry, that's level 12 friendship, and the scale only goes up to 10

Hmph!

I don't make the rules

You very much do???

Oh, that's right, I do!

Oh well

It's still a no

Hmph

Aww, you're doing the sound again

You don't know!

Doesn't stop me from imagining it

Fiiiine

Cute

You are

Sometimes

All the time

Definitely not all the time

Far as I'm concerned it's all the time

Can we settle for most of the time?

Sure

Thank you

Mmhm

Evening plans?

Propose to Lily

Got a plan?

Nope

Gonna wing it?

That's the plan

Ha, so you do have a plan!

Amazing

I am a bit

Quite, actually

Do you at least have a key ready for her?

Oh

Sure

Yes

Other than the spare one?

I'll get another spare

At least put a nice key chain on it

Okay

Key chain

Okay

And maybe empty some shelves for her in the shared spaces

But she's already got three shelves and a drawer

Empty more

It's about the gesture

Okay

And you should throw her a moving in party once she's all settled in

Oooooh yes!

And invite me to it.

You'd come?

I'd hate to miss it

You won't

Yeah?

Yes.

Okay.

You sure?

I'm sure

Okay

Okay

Are you sure?

I'm so sure

Okay

Okay

I'm excited

I am

Really

Oh wow

Yeah

Soon?

I suppose it depends on Lily, really

James says there's no reason she should have to move back home for the summer, and her last exam is Friday. And I really can't envision a world where she says "no".

So the weekend after?

Probably something like that but if you need me to stall I will

I don't

Are you sure? Because I'd be very clever and subtle about it.

Oh I'm sure you would be

I'd walk up to Lily and say "I really want to invite Moony to your moving-in party but I'm not sure we're quite ready yet so do you think we could push it back a week?" And she'd say "yes of course, that's fine, it'll give me time to unpack things anyway LIKE ALL MY RECORDS", OH MY GOD IF SHE'S MOVING IN SHE'S PROBABLY BRINGING ALL HER RECORDS WITH HER

I'd say definitely

She has a lot?

Yes

Lucky you

But anyway, the point is, she'd understand

I think I’m okay with ten days

Ten days

Okay

We have a date

Like a date on the calendar I mean not a date date

I'll write it down

Okay

Not because I wouldn't remember, but because it's a really nice thing to put on a calendar

That is

The best way of thinking I've ever heard

We'll meet before, right?

I want time with you before time with you and everyone else

Before

Oh!

Yes. That's not even a question

No way I'm meeting you at a party

Not when I know how good you look on a train platform. I can pick you up from there? And then we can spend the day together before the party? Or Alice can pick you up and I guess you could spend time with her before if you want to, just as long as I get you with plenty of time before the party.

I think she might murder me if she finds out I was in London and didn't come to see her. How about I go to hers on Thursday and sleep over? That way I can be well rested and we can meet for breakfast if you won't have work, and spend the whole day together

Okay

Breakfast, okay

Or is that too much?

No, that's just enough

Okay

Okay. Breakfast in ten days.

I'll see you then.

Yeah. See you.

Again.

I'll see you in ten days.

Again.

Shite

Lily's home

Home home

I've got to go do the thing

Go go go!

I'll talk later see you in ten days okay

Okay

Good luck<3

Thankyou


She said yes!

I mean, of course she did, but it's official!

Tell me everything

Well I cleared off a bunch of shelves and moved some furniture around and just started telling her where things of hers could go if she wanted them to and at first she was confused and then she asked if I was asking her to move in and I said yes and gave her the spare with the little cush-ball keychain and she said yes!

Ahhh that's wonderful

The first thing Pete did when we called him was ask when the party is going to be.

I told him ten days

Pete's got his priorities straight

Pete has never been called straight in any capacity before, I'll let him know you said so

No!

Oh yeah "Idk what his problem is but Moony seems to insist you're straight" he'll love that

Noooo!!

I would never

Thank you.

Reg and I are going to go to his tomorrow

Any special plans?

More movies, hopefully we'll just keep showing Reg movies until they stop falling asleep through them

Alternatively, you could do something they like

But they like boring things

Like what?

Like chess

Which they and Pete will almost certainly be playing at some point tomorrow

Oh I love chess!

I never get to play with anyone

You all sicken me

It's fun!

It soooooo is not

Yes it is

Gross

You're gross

Am not

Neither is chess

But it takes foreverrrrrrrr

So the fun lasts longerrrrr

Ughhhhhh

I like b

it

Tell Pete and Reg I support them

Hmph

Do you pout after making the sound?

I'm imagining you pouting

Still pouting

Awww

Reg is back now

With most of the contents of that bakery

A full list, please

Is this like porn for you, listed baked goods?

Already got a hand down my pants

That's

One of every type of muffin and danish in the shop, three croissants and a bear claw

Oooh, don't stop, don't stop!

Um

I think they said they had a kouign amann on the way back

M-more!

Um

Cupcakes

Cupcakes?!

I don't know?! I ran out of things they actually bought and I can't think right now?!

You are terrible at bringing a guy off

Like at least give a good description

I

Could

Not

Think

Very

Clearly

There weren't actually any hands down my pants???

I'm aware of that realistically

But you put the words there

You brought it up

I said the word "bakery"!

You asked if baked goods were my porn!

It was a rhetorical question!

Or at least not a very serious one

Not the point, the point is you started it

Ugh

Moony 100,000 Padfoot 1

Now I get chocolate!!

Oh

So you do

I promise I won't masturbate to it

Okay

Good to know

It still better be good

Oh it will be

I'll be the judge of that, thank you very much

Yeah yeah yeah

I will be expecting it eagerly

Any preferences I should know about?

You seem very confident that you'll pick a good one, so no, you don't get any clues

Okay

Got it

I hope you do

I won't let you down

I believe in you

Thank you

So were the baked goods good?

So far yes

Eat some for me, I'm starving

I shall

Thank you

Cranberry muffin in your honour

Mm that sounds good, I approve

I warmed it up and everything

Now you're just teasing

So good

Is this revenge for the muffins?

You bet your arse it is

:(

Well no, no sad

:(

Noooooo

:(

Noooo please no sad

Okay

Better

Yes, well, I've got food now

Oh good, what?

You don't want to know

Oh no

It's delicious, that's all that matters

If you say so

I do

As long as you're eating

You say that now, but then you'll complain again if I ever stop

Absolutely

Hmph

Hey, are you doing the pouting thing?

Thought I'd try it out

You're right, it's really cute

No, that's just when you do it

Definitely not

Yes

You don't have to agree for it to be true

Hmph

See?????

No

I do

Fiiine, think I'm cute, see if I care

Good

I will

Fine

Fine

I'm not gonna do it again

Damnit

Moony 1, Padfoot 0

I don't get to keep mine?????

Of course not??

Whatever, I got a Moony pout, that's worth at least three

Fine, I'll give you three

Yes!!!

I'll catch up in no time

I'd like to see you try

I never try, it just happens

Rude

Me? Never

Hah!

Mean

Me? Never

Mhm

:)

Oh, right

:*

Star face?

The star's a kiss

A kiss? I get a kiss face???

You get a face blowing you a kiss, yes

*:

Okay

Are you upside down?

No, my little face is facing your little face

Oh

So they can blow kisses at each other

Aha

I got it

:**:

Well, more like

:*             *:

First one was fine, too

Oh okay

Or

:*° °    

On the cheek

You have cute cheeks

Awww

Do you think that would be okay?

Definitely

Okay

Would it?

Yes

Good

Okay

I'm gonna go read for a while, questions later?

Yes

Perfect. Have a nice evening

You too


Sirius?

I'm here

Can you tell me something nice?

Are you okay?

I'm okay, I just need something happier than the ending of that book was

Oh no

Yeeeah

Well

I'm nearly done with This book

Oh!!

Oh

Don't read the ending to that one either

What?

Just don't read the last two pages

What, why??

Trust me, just stop at 'And they lived happily ever after.'

I don't know if I can do that?

Ughhh okay

How do you just not read the last two pages?

I don't know, I read them, I just regretted it after

Oooooookay

Just a warning

But it's so gooood whyyyyy

Because life is pain?

Sure okay

I ignore the ending

Like you ignore the other thing?

Yes

Alright

Questions

You go

Have you seen any other movies with Cary Elwes?

With?

The actor who plays Westley

Oh

No?

Thought so. He made some other bad decisions regarding his facial hair

Nooooooooo

I'm afraid so

Like what?

Let me down easy

More moustache

Oh nooooooooooooooo

Oh yes

That's terrible news

I'm so sorry to be the bearer of it

What kind of mustache?

Slightly less lame

Hmmmmmmm

It's thicker and there's a bit of beard, but only on his chin. It's still bad, but it's not as cringeworthy as Westley's

What movie?

Robin Hood

What is it?

What do you mean

What is the movie about?

It's about... Robin Hood

Well okay

You've never heard of him in general? Steal from the rich, give to the poor?

Oh robin hood, sure

I'm not judging, I'm just a bit surprised

I asked Lily

Okay. You should add it to your list, and the disney one

There's two kinds?

There's got to be at least fifty different movies about him

He's a folklore hero, there have been poems about him since the 14th century

Oh

Oops

Your turn, Marian

Who?

She's the love interest

Oh

When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Like little little, the first thing I remember?

Yes

A firefighter

Like

Fighting fires

Yeah

See, brave Moony

I was 3. All of my reasons came from thinking the fire trucks on my pyjamas looked cool.

Awww!!!

Not the point!

Kinda the point

Is not

It's what I got out of it

Not me saving kittens from trees?

Oh wow

Just saying

Gosh

And on that note, I bid you goodnight

Best thing to leave on

Good night Moony

Night, Pads

Chapter Text

Morning

Good morning

Did you sleep well today?

Noooo

Sorry to hear that

Kept getting pushed out of bed

That the only reason?

Yes

No bad dreams, I promise

Okay. Bed not quite big enough for three?

Nope

Too big for one, definitely not big enough for three

Maybe SOMEONE should've taken the sofa

Yeah, James probably

Exactly who I meant

Oh good, it's unanimous, I'll tell him

It's what makes sense

Tea?

Green please

Okay

Yesss

Oh no

What?

We're out of sugar

Oh thank goodness

Oh, I know! I'll just add honey

Noooooooo

Yesssss

Two spoons

I'm begging you to just not

I'm not gonna drink gross tea

That's what I'm trying to save you from

Too late

Ughhhh

Yum

Gross

YUM

YUCK

YUMM

I'm going to go have an orange.

You're gross

It's retribution

Can't believe you're gonna eat an orange just so that I'd be grossed out by you. That's some weird flirting tactic you’ve got there.

As opposed to all of my other, very effective flirting tactics

Yes

Moony I have zero flirting tactics

Yet you still do it all the time

I do not!

You never flirt with me?

I don't try to

Okay

I would

You would..?

If I knew how and were any good at it I would so flirt with you

Oh

Everything is different with you

I used to hate the idea. There was a while where I got accused of being flirtatious, but I wasn't doing anything???

I really wasn't trying, and I started actively trying not to

Now it's you and

Dunno

I don't want to try not to

Okay. That works for me

Ugh this is so bad

I'm exhausted and I'm supposed to be at Pete's for movies in a few hours.

I can't fall asleep while we're watching, I've complained too much about Reg doing that already

So sleep now

I don't know if I can

What if I go back to sleep and you call me and you can pretend it's night?

You'd

Really?

Yeah

I think that was part of the problem last night

I've gotten used to the calls

I have too

I'm ready

Call

 

"Sirius?"

"..."

"I'm glad this worked. You sleep way too little. If we ever-"

"Um, Sirius? When are we- Oh, you're. Okay. I'll just...come wake you up a bit later."

"..."

"..."

"Well Reg sounds adorably awkward. I'll follow their suit and let you sleep in peace. Sweet dreams."

 

 

Moony?

Hi, sleepy

I hung up when I woke up and went to shower

Oh, good

Nice shower?

Nothing special

Oh well

Feel rested?

Much better

Good

Definitely

Did Reg wake you up?

Yes, because we're supposed to be leaving

Heard them earlier

Oh

You did?

Mhm

What did you hear?

Oh, I think they just came in to ask you when you'll be going over to Pete's

They saw you were asleep so they left

Okay

Is it?

Yes, I was worried they'd be upset because I was in my bed, which is temporarily their bed

They didn't sound upset

Okay

Thanks

So you're heading out now?

Yes

Okay

Have fun

Thank you

What are you up to?

Paperwork

Oh, I'm here for that

Yeah?

Yes

Thank you

I said I would be

I know

How is it?

Still not fun

Understandably so

But I have more tea, so that's good

Oh good

Don't talk to me about honey

It doesn't have honey in it

Okay good

I procured some sugar

How did you manage that?

Well you see there are these things called grocery shops

How long was I asleep?

Long enough

Oops

Not that long. I can be quick when I care about something

Sure

I can be!

I believe you

Good

I wouldn't doubt you

I wouldn't lie

Pete says he has that Robin Hood movie you were talking about

You should watch it

If you're in the mood for terrible facial hair, that is

We're going to

Enjoy, I suppose

I'm not going to stop talking, you know

I know. Just doubting your enjoyment

Is it not good?

Moustache, Sirius, moustache

Other than the moustache

I'll let you judge for yourself

Okayyyyy

I don't like influencing people's opinions too much

But Your opinion is kind of very important to me

Kind of

It's very important to me.

Well then you can get it after

Okay

You have snacks, right?

Pete always has snacks

I like Pete

He says he likes you too

Aww

Hmph

You can't possibly be pouting over your friends liking each other

Nooo

So what then?

Maybe

But I like that you like each other

But you're still going to pout about it?

Maybe

Amazing

Reg has bet households chores that they won't fall asleep this time

Oh so now we're hoping they do?

Honestly, no, they've never washed dishes before, I don't think that would end too well

Never?

Never

Never ever

Nope

Wow

I hadn't until I started living with James

I forget sometimes how you grew up

Lucky

I

Sorry

I didn't mean it harshly

Sorry

I just meant you don't act like a pretentious posh wanker

Thank you

Well you don't

It's a concerted effort

I need a break from this

Oh

Alright

We're just going to watch now anyway

I guess

Take your time

What

No

No, I meant the work

Oh

Oh!

I'm sorry

I thought you meant

Okay

Sirius, if I needed some time for myself, I can guarantee you I wouldn't word it like that.

How might you?

Ideally, it would be something like 'Hey, do you think we could continue this conversation later? I'm not upset/angry/etc, I just need to be alone with my thoughts for a bit/put my phone away for a while/etc. I don't expect I'll be longer than _____, but if I will need more time, I promise I'll let you know. <3'

That's perfect

Thank you

No problem

I didn't mean to jump to conc

Moustache.

Beard.

Initial reaction?

I'm into it

Gross, no you're not

Oh I am, I am soooo into it

Are not, say that you're not

He's even sexier now

Ew

Just

Imagine leaning in to kiss

All that

No thank you

Mhm mhm

So good

I repeat, ew

Yum

Fine, you go ahead and enjoy him, I'll take Marian

Pleasedon'tleavemewithhisfacialhair

What's that, I can't hear you, I'm riding off into the sunset with a moustache-less companion

Noooo come back

Byeee, enjoy your hairy kisses

I do not want them!

But you said they're yum!

I was lying!

Remus this is awful!

Don't you mean sexy? I'm pretty sure you said sexy before

Liiiiiiiies

Well that's what happens when you lie, you get stuck with moustache kisses

Don't want

Tough

:(

:{*

Nooooooo

Yes

Hmph

You pout abnormally often

No I don't

Yes you do

Well maybe you're mean abnormally often

I know I am

Well then that's why

Hmph

Your fault

Ok

Moony, you know not really, right?

No

Not really.

Okay

If I'm pouting it's because I'm not upset enough to feel actually bad about it. It's playful

Yeah, no, I know

I would try to tell you if you really upset me

Thank you

I'm enjoying this

Yeah?

The movie, yes

Good

I'm glad

I didn't get it at first but I think I do now

It's not to be taken seriously

Yes, I was not warned

Oops

Yeah oops

Rude

We've established my rudeness already

Just making sure you still know

I do, I do

Good

Back to work

Ew

I think I'd rather walk around with that moustache for a month than do this

That would be a shame

No kisses?

Exactly

Okay, I'll suffer through this

Anything for kisses

I'd endure the moustache for it

Awww

It's awful, don't get me wrong

And I'd never stand for it if I had to kiss Cary Elwes

But he's no Remus

What about Cary Elwes with no moustache, would I still win over him?

Yes

Sweet

I'll let you judge that

Oh

Too much?

No

Okay

There's a pretty high chance it will indeed be sweet, though

What with all the sugar I consume

I'll endure that too

Bet you'll like it

Yeah? What's your bet?

If I win you have to drink tea made by me

My punishment for enjoying your kisses is gross tea????

I never said it will be gross

Hmmmm okay

And what if I REALLY like it, so I win?

Because I know we made contingency plans for if the kissing is not so good, but I'm not willing to bet on it.

Wait what

You don't win if you like it, you win if you don't

No no. You win if I like it, I win if I REALLY like it.

No?? Because you're doubting that sweet can be good

Though to be honest, I think we both win if you like it

Only if you do too

I cannot, in good conscience, place a bet AGAINST me enjoying sweet kisses from you.

Then I guess no bet

Right, so then just kissing and then you make me tea

Deal

Does this count?

Count as what

The flirting thing

It feels like that but it also feels like just talking

Oh

I think it counts, yes

Nice

How am I doing?

Well I'm positively swooning

Yeah yeah, alright

I'll try harder next time

;)

Mmmmhm

Good luck

<3

Thank you

Mhm

Reg is still awake

Congratulations to them

Yesss

And to you, for getting to do the dishes yourself

I'll look at it as a win

Tell me to stop doing this

Remus, stop doing that.

But I have to

Can you take another break?

I mean I can, yeah. But then I'd have to go back to it

But if it's too much right now please take a moment to breathe?

Yeah

Yeah, okay

Thank you

Pretty sure that's my line

I'll share it with you

That works

Are you alright?

Not really

Do you want to talk about it?

I thought I'd sort out some less dusty papers today, and they're about my case. And I don't think I'd even be that bothered to be honest, I know all about it. But my dead name's all over them.

Oh

Fuck I'm sorry, Remus

It's alright

It's messed up that you should even have to go near those

Yyeah

I'm sorry

It's okay I'm okay

Alright

Just need to breathe a bit

Like you said

Okay

Walk away?

Mhm

That's good

Mhm

Can I help?

You are

Okay

Distract me?

How can I do that?

I don't know

Maybe with some of the many pictures you take?

Oooh okay

I know we agreed I'd do that but I didn't know if you'd forgotten

Waited for them, just didn't want to say

Yours?

Yes

And your legs

Those too

Nice shoes

Thank you!

What are the yellow bath bombs

I believe that one would be Fizzbanger

Apple and spice

Okay

More?

Stories

The first was just in the parking lot outside of work, the oil on the asphalt just struck me as really pretty

The Experimenter is just one of my favourite bath bombs because it's so colourful

The rainbow oil isn't the first one

It's not?

No

Which was?

Lips.

Oh, they sent differently than they appear on mine

That's a spare bit of paper I just found on Wormy's dining table

Just

Yeah, just now

Ohkay

Are you?

No, but it's a very different kind of no than before

Consider that me trying harder

When you started sending them, I didn't really think I'd want to change my background picture every two minutes

And now?

And now I can't pick

<3 good luck

Aha thank you

My pleasure

But really. Thank you.

It's just pictures

You know it's not

You're welcome

I'm sitting on the roof eating ice cream

That sounds much nicer

Bit cold

Even in whichever jumper I know you have on?

It's windy

Damn

And you're wrong

I'm wrong?

I'm not wearing a jumper

You're not??

I'm devastated

Cardigan

Colour?

Brown

With what under it?

Just a tshirt

And the wind is blowing those curls around isn't it?

It did before I put a hat on

Oh no there's a hat?

Just a beanie

A beanie

Sure

Yeah, yeah, it's too warm to wear a hat, bla bla bla

Yup that's what I was going to say.

Just can you do me a favour?

Depends on what it is

I need you to tell me every last strand of hair is tucked into that beanie

Uhh

Not exactly

Whyyyyy

Sorry?

I cannot forgive you

I think I can live with that

Good

Please continue to live, windswept and beanie clad

I will

Until I run out if ice cream

Wow

...then I'll continue to live inside, with no wind and no hat

That's good too, I suppose

I promise I'll still look cute

I believe you

Still plenty of roof time, though

Enjoy it

Trying

Good

So do you kiss pieces of paper often?

Only when there's no one around to kiss who won't whine about never getting the colour off

It's a nice shade, they'd be lucky to have it on their person

My point exactly

I can usually kiss Wormy, but only if there's no colour

To have the luxury to refuse Sirius kisses because you know there'll be more...

Oh

Never thought about it like that

Is Reg not a fan of pretty colours either? Or are you not at the kisses stage yet?

Not at kisses yet

We've hugged a few times

I'm still just happy enough to be at the talking stage

Thought so.

And hey, hugs are really good!

They are

I'm glad it's going well

Me too

Have you discussed yet when they'll go back?

Yeah, before the weekend

They have an appointment with the professor you've heard so much about to discuss things on Saturday

Okay, that sounds reasonable

And I have not heard that much

You should have, she's amazing

Weeeeeell

She's one of the smartest people in the entire world, I think

High praise

It's true, she always has the best answer for everything

Even to your provocations?

Especially

I require at least two examples

One time, we were upset with her over a particularly nasty detention, and in retribution we sort of rearranged the classroom so that everything was, well, lifted well off of the ground very precariously. For that, she dismissed the rest of the class but we had to sit through her lecture in the desks we'd manipulated. She never would have let us get hurt, it was just immensely uncomfortable. Except for James, he really enjoyed himself.
Then there was the time I don't know what happened. When I think of her it's the thing I think of first. My first year, after I was put into the House that was my House, with James and Peter, instead of the House my parents had been in - and their parents and their parents and all my aunts, uncles, and cousins, and Reg. We're divided based on a sort of psychological evaluation. So they came to the school themselves. They said there must have been a mistake and demanded I be removed at once. I just know there was a lot of yelling and threatening in front of and at me. But she calmly asked them into her office and talked to them for what felt like hours. And they came out and mum wouldn't look at me but they just left. They didn't yell at me more and I never had to switch houses and the professor just winked at me. That's when I decided she must be the smartest person in the world.

She sounds absolutely amazing

She is

I want to be that kind of teacher

You can be

It's a good goal

Already mastered step number one

Which is?

Be someone Sirius Black wants to take out

That is a requirement

One I'm very glad I fulfill

Hopefully I have better luck this time

We'll see

You should meet her someday

So she can see who you settled for?

So we're settling now?

Well you clearly are, she's "the light of your life"

True

I'm okay with it

Can't believe I have a type

Ha!

Can't believe your the same type as her!

*you're, Mr Black

This is bad, I don't know whether to be annoyed or very attracted to you

I vote for the latter

Unanimous then

Excellent

Still pretty annoyed though

Oh well, can't have everything

Hmph

If you get points for pouting, do I do as well?

No

Why not?

I'd be buying you too much chocolate, you'd be sick

There is no such thing as too much chocolate

This is why I worry

I have never in my life been sick from chocolate

And I don't want to be your first

Fiiiine

You concede?

Doesn't look like I have much of a choice

Hah! One more for Padfoot

Do you also want chocolate if you win?

Oh no, I already know where to get the best

Doubt it, but okay

Trust me

What do you want, then?

That's for you to decide

No??

I decided the chocolate

Yes, but I'm easier to decide for

I don't mean to be difficult

That's not what I'm saying. I'll just knit you something, I've got plenty of time

That definitely works for me

Okay

Thank you

It's still not likely that you'll win

I'm winning so far

Enjoy it while it lasts

I'm basking in it

I'm basking in the sun that finally got the message that it's spring

Mmm good

Means all my curls are free again

Yesssss, my formal petition worked

Oh, there was a petition?

Mhm, I signed it a thousand times

I'm not impressed

All those detentions, you're bound to be great at writing lines

I hardly ever wrote likes

My Love was far more creative than that

Are you saying you didn't get detentions in other classes? Because that's a bit hard to believe

Oh I did, but she was using responsible for assigning punishment

By third year professors stopped giving us detentions at all, they just sent us to her so she could take care of it

Oh she must've loved you

Of course she did

Of course

James and Lily are on their way here

Oh, nice

Yesss

We almost never all come here

Why not?

It's less convenient

Not for Peter

And it's good to get Wormy out of here when we can

Is it not a nice place?

It is, but it's filled with not his stuff

He gets moody when he's here too long, but he won't move any of it out

Okay

I dunno if I'm explaining right

His parents' things are in boxes all around. And I know he looks at things when we're not here and it brings him down.

You explained okay

Alright

I still think it'd be good if you came around his more. That way when he's alone there, the nice and fresh memories of the place can fight the sad old ones.

We try

He also needs his space more

I'm not dismissing anything you're saying. I know you're right. There's just reasons why we sometimes don't.

I didn't doubt there were. I'm not trying to tell you how to do anything

I'm not exactly an authority on friendship

I know

You do friendship just fine

Yeah

Are you content with your sun while I go figure out a meal out of the odds and ends in Wormy's refrigerator?

I'll be okay, yes

I'll talk soon

Good luck<3

Thank you

 

The answer was nothing, we had to go get things

Now we're playing a m

A game

What game?

Scribble

Scrabble?

Sure that

I predict Lily's going to win

You can't know that!

Wooo go Lily!!

Moony!

Yes, Padfoot?

How are you not on my team, you're only talking to me???

Yeah, sure, but I like Lily better

Moonyyyyyyy

Padfoooooot

Hmph

Fine

James'll support me

Boo James

Don't boo James, I'm rooting for James

Boooo James

How dare you!

Wormy is also hoping James wins, Lily has money on Worms. No one else is betting money, just her.

Is no one hoping they'll win themselves?

Ummmm

No

Wow, losers

Pretty much

Who's Reg rooting for?

They haven't said but their last word was three points, so I hope it's not them

I'm also secretly hoping they win

You're all too good

Not at the game, at heart

We might be good at the game, it's too soon to tell!

Keep holding onto that quixotic idea

That's not a word

It is

Not a real one

It's in the dictionary

Oh

Did you look it up?

I did

So little faith in me

Have I mentioned how attractive you are?

Is kwim a word?

You might’ve implied it

And no, no it is not

Damn

How about kwis?

Still no

This is terrible

How's Lily doing?

None of your business!

Reg is definitely on her side. Every time she puts a word down they mutter "brilliant", I can hear them

Go Lily, go Reg!!

Them too before me???

It goes Lily, Reg, Pete, you, James

James is last????? How is James last???

I have a feeling he wins a lot at other things

Fair

Plus he has you as a cheerleader, he doesn't need anyone else

I'm louder, yes

Well you don't know that

Right now I am

What if I'm yelling really loud?

We can't hear it, so as far as we know you're silent

Way to make a guy feel important

You could always call and yell all you want

I think I'll pass

The offer stands

But just for yelling?

No

Okay

Always

Thanks

Moony I am losing

No!

I am though

No!

Then help me!

Hmm no

Pleeeeease?

Which letters do you have?

W I S N N I P

Is there an E anywhere?

Yes?

Three spaces below, six above

Penis

Wow

What

I

Am definitely crediting you

As you should.

No one believes me?????

What?

That it's yours????

That it's my penis?

Oh m

Not how I meant that

That it was your word

Give someone the phone

Remus!

Hello, person who isn't Sirius

James

I'm winning if you don't count Lily

Oh but I do count Lily

Yeahh I count her twice

Awww

Why were you thrown at me?

Not complaining, though

I wanted to talk to someone about Sirius telling you I told him to play a certain word?

Ahhh yes?

Yes, that is false information.

Oh I know

Okay, good. Just wanted to make it clear. Not sure what he's been telling you about my penis, but since I don't have one, you should just disregard anything he says.

I usually do

Always putting his penis places. Can't take him anywhere

Aww and then poor guy has to settle for someone he met through texts

Settle! Sure! Like he isn't impossibly choosy

Yes, we just discovered today that he definitely has a type

His type is "anybody Prongs didn't set him up with"

What kind of awful people are you setting him up with?

Nice people! I have a very careful screening process!

Which is?

I need to definitely trust them

That's it? That's your "very careful" screening process?

I'm very careful with it?

How many people have you set him up with?

Ever?

Yes

A dozen? Two?

And you completely trusted all of them?

I thought I did

Okay

I just want him to be happy and safe

I

Yeah

Can you give the phone back?

Yes

Why does it seem like I didn't win that?

I need some time. I'll be okay. I'll definitely text you before bed.

Oh

Okay

Sorry

Don't be sorry

Talk to me when you can

Ok


hi

Hey

How are you

okay

Missed you

you too

Lily won of course

congrats to her

We're laying out blankets now to all stay here tonight

that sounds really nice

It is

What are you up to?

nothing

Could also be nice

isn't

I'm sorry

it's okay

Are you going to bed then?

yeah

Questions?

mhm

When things are bad, is it better for a person to be around you? Or do you need space then?

space

Okay

Noted

same question

Not space.

okay

noted.

I'm not enough company for me on a good day

you're enough for me

That's a really good thing to hear

it's true.

goodnight

Okay

Goodnight Moony

 

Hey

Can't sleep

Hope you're sleeping nice and having good dreams

This is weird

Not the sleeping on the floor bit, we do this sometimes

But Reg is next to me

Reg hasn't slept next to me in

Too many years

Their sleepy face is the same as ever

They look so small

I feel small

Pete's also snoring, which is nice

Used to help me sleep

Sleeping without the noise over the summers was always the worst

I'm tired, I want to sleep

There's just too much

Dunno

Too much static

I'll try again

Goodnight

 

did you succeed?

 

i keep waking up

which i suppose isn't really bad, because nightmares

but i'm tired too

my eyes hurt

im here

did i wake you

Nah

half awake anyway

can you call?

Yesplease

"Hi."

"Oh, hi, Moony, hi."

"..."

"We don't have to say anything. That was nice. Thank you."

"T-thanks. Goodnight."

"Sweet dreams."

 

***

 

Morning

Good morning

Just morning

Okay

Glad it's good for you

Just nice

James and Lily are making waffles

Okay

Smells good

Of course it does, it's waffles

Yesss

Do you have ice cream?

It's Wormy's, of course we have ice cream

I don't know you, I don't know what's normal.

What's not normal is ice cream with breakfast

And take that back

Ice cream is a perfectly valid breakfast food.

*I don't know all of you that well.

Hmmm good enough

Add a 'yet'

No it is not, but I'm going to do it anyway

Much better

Good.

Did you have breakfast?

I'm still in bed

Never had breakfast in bed?

Used to a lot

I do in James's bed sometimes, it's always nice

I always forgot to take the dishes back downstairs, so they just kept piling up. So I stopped

You should do it, just one day

Like today?

Yes

Okay

Yes??

Yeah, sure

Yes!

Should I make it all fancy, put it on a little tray with a little flower

Awwww yes

No

Breakfast tease

It's four slices of toast with nutella on a chipped plate

Close enough

Sure

At least there's nutella

Yes, well, unlike some people, I make sure there's always nutella

Yeah yeah yeah

Ughhh I see your plan now

Hmmm?

Making me not want to take any naps because my bed's full of crumbs

It's a solid plan, why do you think I only ever do it in James's bed?

I'll just go sleep on the sofa

Rude Moony

Goodniiiight

Night

 

I’m off to work now

Sleep well


s

Remus?

cant just hi so you wont worry

Okay

??

will be

Okay. Thank you



Hi. How was work and the rest of your day?

Oh hi

Work was good

Really good, I had fun

Worried about you later though. Tried not to be because you said not to, but I was

That's good about work

And I'm okay.

Okay

What did you do all day? You don't have to say if you don't want to

Felt bad about myself, cried, fought with my dad

In reverse order

Moony

That's me

Can I do something?

You can do anything you want

Can I do anything to help improve your day?

You're talking to me and there's no chance you'd call me the wrong name, so just keep that up and I'll be okay

I would never, even if I knew how to

I know

What are you up to now, then?

Sitting in my crumbs covered bed, finally being calm enough to text you

That's okay with me

You're not busy?

No I'm not

Okay

Was reading, almost done

Enjoying it?

I don't want to leave

That's what rereading and rewatching is for

It's not the same

I know

I'm loving it, thank you

You're welcome

I was going to ask a question about your day, should I not do that?

You can

Was it a bad fight?

Yeah

Do you not want to talk about it?

He woke me up and asked/yelled if I've done all his work yet and I said no, and I tried to tell him that it was hard for me but he wouldn't listen. So I went to do it and it got really bad again, and after having a cup of tea and calming down a bit, I went to ask him if I could at least skip the files that are about me, and he said no, that he doesn't understand why I couldn't do them too. And I tried to explain, but when I mentioned the name thing he got really upset and started yelling about how he gave me that name and did I not even consider his feelings when I stopped going by it, and he just kept saying it over and over again. I tried to leave the room, because I couldn't take it anymore, but he wouldn't let me. And he said some more things about that and about my condition that I'd rather not repeat. And then we sort of got into a fight.

Oh

Yeah

I'm so sorry

This is one of those times I feel useless because I want to be there for you, physically be there, and I'm not

Sorry

Remus, no

I'm sorry. I'm sorry you have to live with that and that this just happens to you because you don't deserve this. You are good and real and valid and I love knowing you, and I'm really really sorry that there are people in your life that don't feel the exact same way as I do, it seems impossible to me. It's not right.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't tell you about your life.

Sorry

No

No, I was just trying to think of what to say

I don't know what to say

You don't have to

Okay

Just know that even while that's happening, people care about you

Thank you

Sorry I wasn't around

Please don't feel bad about it

Alright

I smell delightful. You'd hate it.

Ewww why would you

But pretty oranges, not just regular oranges. Like oranges but sweet and floral

Still ew

Hmph

I smell great

Do not

Bet you'd still like it

Would not

We'll probably never find out

Would not love iiiiit

Well I'm not going to chance it, so

You're going to give up oranges for me?

I'm not going to risk you not wanting to smell me?????? No fruit is worth that????

So the list goes: smell, fruit, kisses

Interesting

Well the kisses are optional. If you can't stand how I smell you won't want to even be around me. That's important.

What if kisses will be really good, will they move above fruit?

Definitely

Okay

And I'm still going to eat them when you're not around

Oh, of course. I wouldn't ask that of you

Okay, good

But I'm still going to complain

I would expect nothing less

Good

How do you just talk about it so casually?

I take it you don't mean oranges

I don't mean oranges

I don't know. I suppose it used to be easy because I didn't think there was any chance of it happening anyway. And then it just became normal

Don't think I've forgotten the things you said before it became real

Oh? What have I said?

Things

Things.

Yes

Do you think about things a lot?

More than I should

Why do you say that?

They're distracting thoughts

Nothing really wrong with that

Really really nothing wrong

Well then

No matter how sweet I know you are, you'll always be Dirty Nerd to me

I'm okay with that

Good

Would you rather we talk about it less?

No, it's not bad

Usually with guys it us and it makes me uncomfortable. But it's not like that with you. Not uncomfortable, just effective

Ok

Is it?

Yea

It's not, what did I say?

It is, it's okay. I'm glad you're not uncomfortable.

There's a negative part I'm still missing

You're not. Just my head twisting words to mean what they don't mean.

What did I say

Nothing

I can't know what to be aware of if you don't tell me

Okay. I'm making it about me. I didn't mean to do that.

You didn't do anything wrong, okay

Just drop it

Okay

Sorry

No need to be

Okay

<3

<3

Thank you for saying hi last night

Missed your voice

Yours too

Again tonight?

I'd really like that

Me too

We never have to if you're not completely comfortable

I know

I just need to establish that now

Thank you

You too

It goes for everything

Agreed

I like this

This?

This thing that we have

I really like it too

Also you

I really like you too

Do you want to see a herd of elephants?

Yes?

Oh

Oh oh oh oh oh

I was not prepared for that cuteness

There are little hearts on them, too

Of course there are

Those are adorable

Thank you

Where do you find these?

Around

Beautiful

I think so

Definitely makes up for the disappointing lack of them on the train ride

I'm glad I could provide a satisfactory alternative

Thank you

You're very welcome

Oh no

What?

It's perfect

What's on the last two pages?

Nothing

They don't exist

Leave them

Close the book

Get James and tell him to rip them out

Did YOU just tell me to have pages ripped from a book?

Yes, so you know how strongly I feel about this.

Okay

Okay what

Okay, I won't read them

Really?

I trusted you enough to read the book when you said I should, I'll trust you to not read the part you think I won't like

That

Okay

What?

Not used to it

Trust?

Yeah

I trust you

Means a lot

It's just true

Yeah

Okay, if I have this in here I'm going to be tempted, I'm going to pass it onto Reg, I think

That's a good idea

Maybe THEN they'll sit through the movie

Or maybe they won't make it past ten pages

Oh no, I forgot about the beginning

Suggest skipping it

Okay

I just think it's a shame to miss out on the story

I agree

But I guess I can also understand that it's not for everyone

No

No?

It should be for everyone

Not everyone can like the same things

Hmph

What's something you don't like?

How do you mean?

Just anything

Well you know the big things

Being ignored, people touching my hair, being alone, being hit, chess

Something smaller than that

Facial hair, kale smoothies

Closer. Now something I don't know yet

The feeling of anything between my toes

There you go

Can't stand it

And for me it's not something that ever even crossed my mind

How???

I'm just not bothered by it I guess?

Ughhhhh

Everybody's always talking about sand between their toes being a pleasant feeling and I just

Nooooooooo

Ohh I like that

Gross

It's lovely

It's agitating

So I guess sex on the beach is out

What

That's

That's not

Actually, I'd be far more worried about getting sand other places than my toes in that case???

No? Because the toes would bother you so much it'd never get to the point where others thing could?

Speaking of, that should count as a point to Moony

What should??

You got all flustered

Moony if I give you a point every time you fluster me

I may as well send your next box of chocolate now

I'd be okay with that

Nooooooo

Fine, but I'm still counting the points whenever it's extra obvious and cute

Fine, I'll be less obvious

Noooo

Mhm next time I'll just stop talking to compose myself

I don't approve of that plan

Tough

:(

Nooo don't be sad

But I like flustered Padfoot and you're threatening to take

Pronouns?

Her

Threatening to take her away!

Oh well

:(

Didn't say I'd be terribly successful at it

Forgive me for hoping you wouldn't be

I forgive you

Oh how kind of you

Very.

Aha

One day. One day I will have the effect on you that you do on me. Just you wait.

Good thing I'm very patient

I'm not

Just gonna have to stick to that try harder plan then

Mhm

Questions?

Yes

You go first

What's the easiest way to go about all that?

All what?

Flustering you

I'm not going to help you with that??

It's the question!

That I won't answer

Hmph

Well I tried.

What would be a perfect day for you?

A good book, an endless supply of chocolate, and good company

That's not so difficult

I'm a simple guy

Sure you are

You don't agree?

No

I'm quite enjoying getting to know all of your layers, thank you

You're welcome

Mmhm

What worries you the most about us meeting?

Oh, that you'll finally realize I'm Too Much and not worth the effort

Okay, that's not going to happen, what's the second thing?

It might

That something will get in the way and it won't happen

You're not too much, it won't. You've been yourself this whole time, meeting you in person won't change my feelings. And I really hope nothing gets in the way

Me too

Like seriously, that would suck

Exactly why I worry about it

I didn't until now

Oh no, I'm sorry

I didn't mean to put that out there

I asked

What are

Well what WERE you worried about most?

That I'd ruin it somehow

How do you think you'd do that?

Dunno

Well you won't

I promise you won't

I might

Won't let you

Okay

We don't have to feign social cues. If I think you're starting to get self destructive, I could ask you if you'd like to take a moment to breathe before we say anything else.

Okay

Promise we won't pretend?

Promise.

Thank you

You too

Thank me next week

Right. Next week.

Yeah

Call?

Calling

"I'm excited."

"About next week?"

"Yeah."

"Me too."

"Do you know a good breakfast place?"

"I could find one."

"Nah, that's okay. We can find one together so that we're both to blame if it won't be good."

"Oh, I like that."

"Then what?"

"We could walk around Regent's if it's nice?"

"We could sit and talk in Regent's too."

"Sure, less walking, got it."

"There can be some walking."

"Well, there'll have to be at least a bit. But sitting and talking sounds nice, too."

"Mmm."

"What if it's not nice out?"

"In. Tea. Or gallery."

"Oh, gallery! We could go to a gallery, yes, we could."

"Mmhm."

"We could find a piece we really like and just sit there like we would in Regent's anyway."

"Myes that sounds nice."

"We could go to the market that smelled really good to you for lunch."

"Mhm keep talking."

"And I can't promise I won't be horrified by the amount of food you consume, but I won't prevent you from doing so."

"'Preciate it."

"We'll get a whole bunch of things and share them. Widen the variety."

"..."

"Moony?"

"..."

"Moony did you fall asleep?"

"..."

"I don't care what we do next week. I'll be there, and you'll be there, and there won't be a barrier between us."

"..."

"It's going to be really nice. And you're not going to mess it up. And I'm… You're not going to hate me."

"Mh mnever hate you."

"Oh. I'm sorry, Moons, didn't mean to wake you."

"'S okay. Like your voice."

"I like yours, too. I liked this."

"Mm me too."

"Go sleep, have nice dreams."

"You too."

"I will. Goodnight."

"Night."

"Are you two done being nerds now?"

"Not even close."

"Good."

"Night James."

"Nighty night, Remus."

"No Lily?"

"She's in full revision mode. Not to be disturbed until after her exam tomorrow."

"'Kay."

"Goodnight, nerd."

"Shhh."

"Okay, we'll be quiet."

"No."

"Okay, we won't be quiet. Padfoot, your boyfriend is so bossy."

"Maybe that's how I like them."

"..."

"Shut up!"

"Only if you do."

"Won't, Moony likes my voice."

"Well then he's stuck with mine too."

"Stop brushing your perfect teeth and get in bed already, I need to be cuddled."

"Brushing my teeth is how they stay perfect."

"But you've been at it for hooooours."

"Two minutes! Which side do you want tonight?"

"Hmmmmmm left."

"Then move over."

"Just watch the mobile charger cable."

"Oh hell. One second too late."

"Get up and plug it back into the electricity!"

"Noooo I'm comfy now."

"Proooongs!"

"Okay, okay, I'm going."

"Thank You."

"Better?"

"Yes."

"Now give me your body heat."

"Take iiiit."

"Alright?"

"Perfect."

"Good. Night, Pads."

"Night."

 

"Padfoot."

"Hm?"

"Are you up?"

"No."

"Yes you are."

"'M not."

"Yes you are, you're talking."

"What d’you want?"

"Do you ever think about colours?"

"Oh! Oh oh oh! All the time!"

"Dumb question, I know you do. But I mean do you think about what if people see colours differently?"

"You mean like you see a different yellow than me?"

"Yes, but we both call it yellow, so we'd never know."

"No."

"Why?"

"Slightly different shades, sure. But not more. I dunno, ask Lils about the sciency part of it, but to me it's the same description people give of colours that convince me they see the same. Not the "grass is green" and "sky is blue", but the feelings."

"Ohhh, that's nice."

"Yeah."

"But what if the feelings come from your perception of the colour? So yellow makes people happy but what if that's only because they associate it with sunshine?"

"No because most eyes are the same and colour comes from light and light is the same."

"I accept the combination of these things."

"Plus remember the cones thing we read about when I freaked out when I couldn't see red and green as Padfoot."

"Oooooh, there is that."

"Mhm."

"That makes me feel better."

"You barely see anything, anyway."

"Will that ever not make you laugh?"

"Your shite eye sight? Probably not."

"You arse."

"Your arse."

"My arse, yes."

"Love you."

"Love you, too."

 

"James?"

"..."

"James."

"Mmn."

"How do I say goodbye to Reg?"

"You don't."

"But what do I do?"

"You hug them and tell them you'll see them soon and then you see them soon."

"What if they don't come back?"

"Sirius, they're coming back. It's all worked out."

"What if something happens, what if they don't? I'm just sending them back, I don't know if it's really safe for them. What if They find out about all of this?"

"The people who need to know, know.  You did all the right things. They're going to be safe. They're basically just taking exams and they'll be right back here. With us. Also safe."

"Don't want to lose them again."

"You won't. You have them, they're here and they're going to stay."

"Y-yeah."

"You'll write them the whole time they're gone."

"That'd be much easier if we were muggles."

"Yeah. We'll get them a mobile first thing when they come back."

"Soon. Not that long. And they'll be okay."

"They will be."

"Tighter."

"I've got you."

"Thankyou."

"You're okay. They're okay and you're okay."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Are mum and dad free for lunch this weekend?"

"Think that's the plan."

"Good. Need that."

"Need food."

"Food too."

"I'm deprived."

"Eat less kale."

"Eating less kale will not mean I'm eating more of mum's food."

"No, but I'd be less grossed out."

"Mmmmmhm, so you say."

"Yes, because it's true."

"Oh yes, you hate my kale smoothies, mhm."

"Strongly dislike."

"Suuuure."

"What? Yes?"

"Not what your boyfriend says."

"...What."

"Damnit, I wasn't supposed to say."

"What did he tell you?!"

"That you liiiiike them."

"He... Is that why you've been leaving them around more?"

"You HAVE noticed!"

"Of course I noticed! Merlin, you're an idiot."

"I'M an idiot?"

"Yes, Prongs, you’re an idiot."

"How am I the idiot?"

"I don't like your smoothies, James, I never have."

"Ouch."

"Don't ouch me, you've always known this."

"And I'm wounded every time, why did he say that then?"

"My guess would be to mess with us, and you fell for it, Merlin, how did you fall for that?"

"Could ask you the same thing right now."

"No you couldn't."

"Mhm."

"I didn't fall for anything!"

"He's YOUR boyfriend!"

"FINE, so I fell for HIM, but not his-"

"Ohmygod!"

"I- shut up. Shut up shut up shut up!"

"Merlin, you said it, you said it you said it you said it!"

"I hate you."

"Doesn't matter, you've FALLEN for him, hate me all you want."

"Ughhhhhhhh."

"Padfoot, Padfoot. Tell me honestly, though. Do you think you really have?"

"...Yeah."

"Siriusssssssssss come here!"

"Ughhhh."

"Don't ugh this, you're ruining my moment."

"YOUR moment?!"

"Yes, my moment, I'm so happy right now!"

"Ughhhhhh."

"Sirius!"

"Get offfff!"

"I will not! Talk to me about this, this is huge!"

"Ughhhhhhhhh."

"Siriuuuuus."

"He's just really...y'know. Everything."

"No, I don't know, tell me."

"He... Ughh. I don't know! I just have all these feelings that I've never had before and I want to talk to him always and I think about him all the time and I want him to be okay and I want to make him smile and I want to touch his hair."

"So happy, I'm so so happy right now."

"Stop bouncing!"

"I cannot!"

"..."

"Siriusssssss."

"What."

"I'm really happy for you."

"You're happy for everyone, always."

"But this is a really good reason to be happy."

"Not if he doesn't feel the same it's not."

"How could he not feel the same? It's you."

"Exactly."

"You're incredibly lovable. You're the most lovable. And he's not an idiot. You'll see."

"I dunno. Even if he does like me, he told me he doesn't date ages ago. But then again he also wants to kiss me, so-"

"He said he wants to kiss you?"

"Yeah."

"He said that? With words?"

"Yes, with words! Is it really that hard to believe?"

"Yes! It is hard to believe that you are worried about him not feeling the same if he's talked about how much he wants to kiss you?"

"Yeah, well, lots of people have wanted to kiss me without actually liking Me."

"Do you think he's like that?"

"No."

"Neither do I."

"But I'm still me, I'm still Too Much."

"You are not and have never been Too Much."

"Feel like it."

"Other people haven't been enough, you've never been too much."

"I really like him, James."

"I've been waiting so long for you to say that. He likes you too, I know he does."

"Don't jinx it."

"Okay okay... So what exactly does he say about kissing?"

"Nu uh, we're not doing this, you already know too much."

"How have we not done this already?!"

"Because you get way too excited."

"If I calm down and climb off will you tell me?"

"Maybe."

"Okay."

"Goodnight, James."

"Heeeeey."

"I'll tell you in the morning if you'll make me breakfast."

"Fiiiiine."

"Big or little?"

"Hmmmm little spoon."

"Okay. Sweet dreams."

"You too. Dream about kissing boys."

"No, just Moony."

"Dream about kissing Moony."

"Mmkay."

Chapter Text

Good morning

And to you too

Why thank you

Good sleep?

Very

Excellent

You?

Also very

Also excellent

What are you up to today?

Not up yet

Okay

When we said we'd meet for breakfast next week, in exactly a week, seven (7) days, what time did you have in mind?

Because I'd get up early for you, but not super early

It just needs to be early enough that I'll be hungry by lunch time with you

Sooo

So ten is pushing it, but I'll deal

Okay, 9.30

Are you sure?

I'm sure.

Okay

Seven days

Seven days!

One week

One week!

That means this time next week we're going to be together

I am very aware of that

Wow

Yeah.

I just realized how impossibly long seven days is

It's not that long

It's so long

I have to wait a whole week

Just. Just a week

Seven days. That's a day and then another day and then another and another and another and another and another

Seven questions

Ughhh

So many

Only seven!

That's more than I can fit on my hand

That's more than the six fingered man can fit on his hand!

That's why you have two

Hmph

Seven days.

Seven

I'm excited

Me too

More excited than nervous?

Yes.

Good

You too?

Definitely

Okay

On a less utterly spectacular note, Reg leaves tonight

I remember. Any special plans for today?

We're about to play a game

Which?

The gross one

Chess???

YOU're gonna play chess?

Yes I'M going to play chess

Mmm chess for breakfast

We had leftover muffins

I think I have fresh scones

I dislike you

Lie

Yes

I do! They're delicious. Tea?

Ugh

Which fruity ones do I have to choose from?

Cherry, apple, peach, plum

Peach

Okay

Sounds sweet enough for you

I never have sugar in fruity ones

Really????

Really

Oh thank

you

You're welcome?

Fruity teas are sweet enough

I agree

That's relieving to know

Judging me a bit less now?

A bit

I'll take it

I lost

That was quick

I don't even know how, but I definitely lost

You're gonna play more, right?

Unfortunately

Go focus on the game

Doubt it'll help but okay

Good luck<3

Thank you

 

I lost three more times

That's... not that bad

They started letting me win the third one but I got upset about that so they just beat the life out of me instead

Congrats to them

Hmph

Tell them

Must I?

Yes

Hmph

Did you do it?

They're celebrating

How does that look?

An extremely nerdy little dance

Oh that's wonderful

It really is, actually

How do they feel about going back to school?

They're nervous

I'm nervous

But they're going to be okay

And it's only for a few weeks, right?

Yes

They'll be back in no time

More weeks than one

It's gonna pass quickly

One is forever

So you've known me for five forevers?

Feels about right

Somehow that doesn't sound like a good thing

It doesn't?

No, it does. Just how I read 'Feels about right' doesn't.

Would it help if you knew I was smiling at my phone when I wrote it?

That would help immensely

The lip bitey kind

Even better

They should make flavoured lip rings, because this is boring

Oh no, are you playing with it?

Well I was

Am

Maybe

You're killing me

I'm sorry?

Definitely not.

I'm not sorry

M

Oh my god

Do you play with it when you pout??

Dunno

Yeah

Why?

Killing me

I didn't do anything?

You're being hot and cute at the same time, that's not allowed

Probably be hotter if you were the one doing the biting

i

I agree

Holy shit

Point to Padfoot please

You can have ten

Really??

Yes, I choked on my tea

Oh nooo

I'm okay

Okay

Good

Ten points for Padfoot, nice

I guess I better get to knitting

You'd better start now

I'll go buy yarn right away

Good

Any colour preferences?

Colours.

Hmm okay

Yesssss

I'll see what I can do

Thank you

You've earned it

Thank you

You're welcome

Pick a colour for my next one

Okay, options?

Silver and black go with everything, but I have other colours too

Do you have blue?

Also what material are they made of?

I do

Surgical steel

Okay. Blue.

Why?

Why the material question, not why blue. Okay, blue.

Just curious

Okay

Talk to you later?

Oh, sure

Yarn shopping

Oh! Yes, okay. I'll talk to you when you get back

Stay cute

I'll do my best


Hi

Welcome back

Thank you thank you

Buy me lots of yarn?

So much yarn

Yessssss

I'll start after lunch

What's lunch?

Pizza

Toppings?

Don't know yet

<3

Usually it's everything I can find in the fridge

Oh are you making it?

Kind of

What does that mean?

It means I bought the dough

Does your mother know?

Nope

Ooooooooooooo

You can't use this as blackmail

Oh

I wasn't going to, but now I might

Nooo

Hmmmmmm

Noo

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

No

I wouldn't

I would

Let me correct myself

I would, but never against you

Hmm. I would against you too

Rude?!

Oops

Hmph

Ketchup, tomatoes, ham, cheese, bacon, cheese, pineapple, cheese, garlic, oregano

Eliminate half of those things

No thank you

You're not really putting all that on there

Yes I am

Please, please no

It's really not that bad?

All of it together???

Yeah, it sounds good

You're so lucky you’re cute

I knew you only liked me because of that

See, I want to keep messing with you, but I can't with this

Probably for the best

I like you for lots of reasons, you being cute is just a pleasant side-fact

Right back at you

Enjoy your pizza

Oh I will

Ugh

Good

Don't ugh my pizza

I'm ughing your pizza

:(

Reg is packing

Oh

Ugh that instead of my pizza

I am

I don't really know what to do with myself

Make pizza

Oh

Yeah okay

Yesss

But with less things on it than yours

Boring

Yeah yeah yeah

At least make your own dough

I am, I am

Good, because it's a crime not to

You're a criminal

Wow! Such accusations!

Mmmmhm

It's still pizza

Mmmmmmmmmhm

It is

If you say so

I do

James is skiving off practice tonight

Good.

Told him he didn't have to, he told me to shut it

Good.

Where are you in your pizza making?

In the oven

Wow okay

I just had to throw stuff on

True

But I did it very neatly

Oh good

I didn't actually

Do you not know me?

Damnit, Remus, I really thought

Haa

I'm still on dough

<3

Sometimes I forget that's "good luck"

Maybe sometimes it's not

Okkay

;)

Thanks, you made me rip a hole in the dough

Moony 1, Padfoot 0

Sure sure

For now

Well obviously I don't plan to stay on just one

There's a plan?

To get to ten, yes

Solid plan

I think so

I'm cheesing

You're what

Putting cheese on

Cheesing

Yes

The verb form of cheese.

Not a word

Is now

Not how it works

Is if I say so

Nope

Yuh huh

Nu uh

Look at me just cheesing away

No

Yup

Nope

Now I'm prosciuttoing

What

That one doesn't work as well, does it?

Well now I'm ovening anyway

No, I mean who puts prosciutto on after cheese??

Well there's more cheese on top, but most of it is on the bottom

You're pizzaing wrong

Says the one with store bought dough

Come here and fight me

7 days

You think you're going to waste my Moony time fighting me?

It looks like it's what you want

Nope, separate special fighting visit

You want us to meet once just to fight?

Yes

Well I want you to come here on the pretence of fighting and then we can just not fight

Why fight when we can kiss

Yyea

That

Moony 2

Fair.

I am cheesing, i.e. grinning widely

I am

Changing the blue ring because it's too small to play with properly

I vote black

Yeah? I have this one for now

 

Padfoot 1.

There you are

Here I am

Thought we'd lost you

Well I needed a moment and then I almost burned pizza and had to deal with that

Oh lovely

Your fault

Not??????

100%

You never answered whether I should switch to black or not, so I left this one in

It's good

That one's good

Very

Very good

No need to switch

I still think that flavoured ones would be ingenious

Oh, absolutely

I'd buy a thousand

A thousand

A thousand

All different flavours?

Obviously

Which

Give me options

No, you said you'd buy a thousand different flavours, I wanna know which thousand

Moonyyyyy

Yes?

Ugggghhhh

Ten

Maybe

Chocolate, mint, strawberry, lemon, peach, raspberry, vanilla, cinnamon, banana, bubble gum

Good choices

Oh you actually approve?

Yes

Would lick 10/10 during kissing

That's the idea

Yum

Moony 2

3

Yes that

Pizza is yum too, just so you know

Good! Gross but yum

What were your boring toppings?

Prosciutto and leftover caramelized onions

That's it??

Yes, we're reasonable, you see

The standard garlic and fresh basil, but I don't count those as toppings

I guess that's slightly better

It smells fantastic

Okay shhh you're making me hungry

Are you not PRESENTLY eating pizza???

So?

You make no sense

Sense is greatly overrated

Fair enough

Reg done packing?

Yeah

You okay?

Not terribly

Can I do anything to help?

Nah, I'll be alright

It's not about me

Is a bit, though

Shouldn't be

It's about both of you

Right now it's about them being strong

Yes...and you.

Can't think about that now

Okay.

An hour before they go

So they still get to eat your boring but delicious pizza!

Yes, exactly

That's good

And it's not boring, it's delicious

It's both

Hmph

Enjoy it

Thank you

<3

I'll text you in a bit? Want to spend time with them before

Of course.

Thanks


They're gone

They'll be back.

Maybe

No, not maybe. Definitely.

I guess

You made a plan. It's all gonna go according to plan.

Yeah

Your Love and Light of your life will help them, and they'll just take their exams and be right back.

She can't be there all the time

She won't be there when They're harassing them

The "friends"?

Yes

They can handle them

They can

Yes.

What if

Dunno

So many things could happen

But they won't

Something will

And it that something will be something bad, they'll know what to do. They know that they have you to turn to.

I think so

It's gonna be okay

Yeah

I miss them

They'll be back in no time. And you can still talk in the meantime, I'm sure they'll call

They

Yeah

And the professor will keep an eye on them

Yeah

Do you need some time?

Maybe

No

Don't want

Are you sure?

Yyeah

Want to talk about something else?

Mhm

Okay

Um

Guess what's on my socks

Pineapples

Gimme a moment

Okay

Correct!

You're kidding

Clearly not

Why do you happen to have pineapple socks???

I have lots of fruity socks

Of course you do

Not more than I have animals, but still a lot

I love it

My favourite are still the ones with fries, though

Fries?

You have socks with fries?

Yes

And ones with burgers and ones with hot dogs and donuts

Ooooof course


Adorable

Thank you!

They're very you

Does that mean I'm adorable?

It's logic, yes

I'll take it

Good

You too

Sure

Well you would be in my socks

Oh but I have been

You wore my socks!

I did, the other day

Comfy?

Sooooo comfy

Good

Thank you

You won them fair and square

True, I did. Just like my next pair

I'll have a collection as big as yours in no time

Next pair?

Yes, the one you just bought yarn for?

I never said I'd knit you socks

Oh

I thought

Not socks?

Nope

Oh

What then?

Not telling

Why?????

I want to see your face when you see it

It'll be done by Friday?

I have a whole week to do nothing but that

You should do it out of the house

I will if the weather will be good

Good

Yeah

Thank you

Sure

Ice cream

Yes, please?

Need it

Don't have it

Want it

Go get it

I don't want to go out

Have James go get it

Well

He is. But now I'm alone

Pick a record

Your turn to pick

Do you have Abbey Road?

Oh

I do

Can you play it and call me?

Mine's broken

Yes

Yes I can call you, yes

"Hi."

"Hithankyou."

"No problem."

"This is better. I didn't even think of it."

"I...did."

"Thank you."

"Anything."

"Ready?"

"Ready."


"Okay, so I got strawberry, lemon, hazelnut, chocolate, and pistachio."

"M- How many people will be eating this?"

"Hi James! You make good choices, I approve."

"Oh, hi Remus! Thank you! And just you, Pads, I've got myself a frozen yoghurt."

"Ewww, I take it back, you make the worst choices."

"This is why you like me better."

"You can save the chocolate one for me if it's too much."

"It's yours. I'm starting on the pistachio."

"See how much easier mine is to scoop?"

"Nobody wants your yoghurt, Prongs."

"Thanks. I'll, um... leave you to it, then."

"Oh, okay. If you'd prefer."

"I- I don't know, I mean..."

"Stay, nerd. Help me keep this one's mind busy."

"It's really a four person job, but I have faith you two can manage it."

"..."

"..."

"Wow, or not."

"What can we do, then?"

"Well Remus is doing enough by just being here, but you could definitely try harder."

"Oi!"

"Hah-hah."

"I got you ice cream!"

"Yeah, and then what? Just sitting there."

"Ungrateful much??"

"...You know I'm not."

"I know that. What kind of bad is it, how can I help?"

"Could hold me. It's the empty kind."

"Wanna maybe move off the floor then?"

"No."

"Okay. Can I at least get some pillows?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

"Remus?"

"Still here."

"Don't mean to leave you out of it."

"You're not, I'm enjoying listening."

"Okay."

"Are you?"

"No."

"Care to say exactly what's on your mind?"

"No."

"Want us to talk about something else entirely?"

"Yeah."

"I know what we could talk about. We could talk about why MOONY is a great big LIAR! You said he LIKED my smoothies."

"Did I? I said that? I don't recall."

"You said!"

"Hmm. Don't remember that."

"You're the worst."

"Your smoothies are the worst."

"They are not!"

"Are too."

"You wouldn't know, you don't drink them!"

"And I never will."

"Your loss, then."

"Sirius, do you agree that it's a loss?"

"Not in the slightest. I think it's for your protection."

"Betrayal!"

"They're vile, James."

"They're healthy!"

"Exactly."

"Healthy does not decry deliciousness."

"Hmph."

"Ooooh, Moony, he's pouting."

"Awww."

"So cute."

"I bet."

"It's okay, I'll make him pout again next week so you can see."

"Aww, thanks!"

"Can you two stop??"

"No."

"No."

"Thank you, both of you."

"You're welcome, Prongs."

"No problem, James."

"What even."

"Can you go put another record on? Music helps."

"On it. Requests?"

"Moony?"

"I'm okay with whatever."

"Your choice then, James. M- God help us."

"Prepare yourself for Abba."

"Can't dance today."

"I'll dance for you."

"No, you have to keep holding me."

"Moony it's gonna have to be you."

"Okay. To all but 'Dancing Queen.'"

"I accept these terms."

"Then it is law. Prepare to dance, Moony!"

"I'm ready."

"So the aversion to Dancing Queen?"

"School dance trauma."

"Too painful to share?"

"Because I'm dying for you to share!"

"You want me to dance AND tell you stories?"

"Yes."

"Yes."

"No."

"Okay, then when it comes on and you're not dancing will you tell us?"

"Maybe."

"Close enough, I'll take it."

"It's the second song."

"Yes, precisely."

"Did you think I was suddenly going to be patient?"

"Ughhhh. Fine. We had a dance and attendance was mandatory so I volunteered to be in charge of drinks and stuff so that I wouldn't have to stand awkwardly on the dance floor all evening, I could stand awkwardly behind a table full of food all evening. Somehow that also meant that before the dance, I had the job of blowing up balloons. So naturally, I filled them with glitter. I had a plan that when they'd fall from the ceiling I'd c- I'd do a thing that would make them pop and cover everyone in glitter. But then against all odds, I was asked to dance. By a girl who proclaimed herself queen of the dance or whatever, even though we didn't do that. She wore a tiara. She gave me a crown. With all eyes on us, refusing wasn't really an option. Plus she was pretty, so. We danced. To 'Dancing Queen'. Balloons fell down. My plan was forgotten. One popped on my crown. The only one covered in glitter was me. It didn't come off for a week. The end. I hate you both."

"Moonyyy- Stop laughing, this boy's in pain! Poor shiny Moony."

"Ughhhh."

"Oh sure, act like you don't think it's adorable. It's two of your favourite things: Remus and glitter."

"I'm sorry that happened to you, Moony, PLEASE ignore our friend, he's clearly hysterical."

"Should've just spiked the punch."

"You would’ve wound up roped into a drinking contest and gotten plastered off your arse or something."

"Ugh, with my luck, probably, yeah. Can you stop??"

"I'm trying so hard."

"I can make him stop, want me to make him stop?"

"Nah, leave him be."

"Ugh fine. I'm just going to lie here then until he stops."

"King Moony, Dancing King, Human Disco Ball."

"It's hard to pull off elaborate pranks alone. But I can still put glitter in your shampoo, so watch it."

"Aha! Oh that full stop, that was brilliant!"

"Hey!"

"Thank you, thank you."

"Can we keep him?"

"Hmph."

"Can we can we can we?"

"Hmph!"

"Why don't you want me, James?"

"Because you're going to glitter my shampoo!"

"Hahaaa!"

"Only maybe."

"We can keep him, but I'm hiding the bath products."

"Don't touch my stuff, Prongs, I have a system!"

"MY bath things, then. I couldn't carry all of yours if I had four arms and a trolley."

"You have my permission to put glitter in my body wash. Please and thank you."

"Hmm glittery Sirius."

"That's what you have that powder for."

"That doesn't really glitter, though, it shimmers."

"Shimmering Sirius sounds nice too."

"I'm always nice."

"Hah hah."

"I so am?! Moony, tell him I'm always nice!"

"I've known you to be nice once or twice before."

"Remuuuuuus."

"Yes, Sirius, you're very nice."

"Hmph."

"There he goes with the lies again."

"Do you two basically just take turns pouting all day?"

"How dare you!"

"It's mostly just Sirius, I barely get a chance."

"That sounds about right."

"I thought the plan was to make me feel better, not to gang up on me."

"The plan was to get you to not feel bad about that anymore. Now you feel bad about something else, so we're doing just fine, you're welcome."

"Okay, we can definitely keep him."

"You hush and keep braiding. You're all very mean."

"There's braiding going on?"

"Has been for a few minutes."

"Mmm."

"That's my line. Mmm."

"The strangest things make you happy."

"You two make me happy."

"Are you calling us strange?"

"Are you calling us things?"

"I'm taking it back."

"Aw, Moony, he doesn't love us anymore, whatever will we do?"

"Wait for him to change his mind again."

"Stoooooop."

"Okay."

"Whiny."

"That's not stopping."

"Okay, okay."

"Thank you."

"Hair tie?"

"Right here."

"Thank you."

"No, you."

"You're welcome, Pads."

"I'm pretty, now, in case you were wondering."

"You're always pretty."

"True."

"Get a room."

"We had one, you walked into it."

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No."

"No."

"Wouldn't anyway. No offence, Moony, but he needs someone physically here right now."

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here."

"Didn't mean to talk about you like you're not here. I only meant to address Moony."

"I know. But Moony, you're important even if you're there and we're here."

"I know."

"Sorry."

"No?"

"We were laughing, I didn't mean for it to get bad so suddenly."

"I don't think it's bad."

"Okay."

"Still don't want to talk about it?"

"Just don't want to be told the comforting things."

"Okay."

"Just want to lie here."

"More ice cream?"

"Strawberry please."

"I want strawberry cheesecake. I wonder if mum's in a baking mood."

"Oooohhhh, James, I want strawberry cheesecake!"

"Do you know how to make it?"

"I do I do."

"Well then."

"But only if Remus's mum is in a baking mood."

"I won't mind if you have it and I don't."

"I would."

"I'll go ask."

"Hey, Prongs."

"Hm?"

"He 'mmm's pretty, doesn't he?"

"Wow."

"He doooes."

"You are SO gone for him."

"Shut it, I'm fine."

"Aha, I'll shut it when you stop grinning like an idiot."

"Don't wanna."

"Good, it's a good look on you."

"Now I just owe you six years of being insufferable about it."

"I wasn't that bad."

"Am I?"

"I love seeing you like this."

"Hmm, love you too."

"You're not insufferable. You're cute."

"Yeahh, you weren't either."

"He wasn't what?"

"Oh. Um. Insufferable. Over Lily, back in school."

"And who's the other not insufferable person?"

"Me, because I'm insufferable all the time."

"He's not."

"You're not."

"So they say."

"Who says that?"

"I'll fight them."

"I'll help."

"Fight me."

"Well, okay."

"H-"

"Um."

"Moonyyyyy make him get oooooff!"

"James, can you get off of Sirius?"

"Nope!"

"Okay. Sorry, Sirius. I tried."

"B-Betrayal!"

"Hah!"

"Mum said she can make the cheesecake, but I have to help. James, promise you won't hurt him?"

"He would never hurt me."

"I promise."

"Good. Carry on."

"Oi!"

"I'll stop if you go make cheesecake."

"I said I would, did I not?"

"I’ll just g-"

"Moony, Moony wait! Tell your mum I say hi! Ow-"

"You okay?"

"Hit my shin on the table. Ohhh that's going to bruise."

"I didn't even hear it, how hard was it?"

"We may have to amputate."  

"Better call Lily then."

"I'll tell her. Um. Text you later?"

"Talk to you later, Moony!"

"Bye, Remus!"

"Bye."


Mum says hi back, and a bunch of other things as well. Our cheesecake is in the oven.

What other things?

We're only a bit behind

Oh, good!

I see you avoiding

Should I drop it?

She hopes you're well and she's wondering when she'll get to meet you and have you tried making her scones yet and are you sure you don't need any help with the cheesecake and where did you get your strawberries because she knows a good produce guy in London

She's wonderful

She agrees.

James will never forgive me if I don't get her produce guy's name

Oh Mgod

What???

You're all bonding, it's gross

This is what we do, Moony. We soak into your life until you can never detach us ever.

Never ever?

Never ever

She'll find his number

Thank you

No problem

Ours is in

I really really like it when we do the same things

Mm so do I

We should cook together again sometime

Yes.

Oooh

Once this is out of the oven, Prongs and I are going for a run

I don't understand

Running. But as

It's different. We haven't done it much since leaving school and I miss it.

Not easy in London

Running.

The cake will be out of the oven and you'll go running.

Yes, while it cools.

But

Okay

It's a fun thing

No

It iiiiis

Wormy is going to come with us it's going to be perfect

Sure it is

It will be

I'm just gonna continue not believing you, but okay

Hmph

Running for fun. Jesus Christ.

For fun, not fitness, there's an important distinction to me

Yeah, fitness makes more sense

And we know how important making sense is to me

There's just so many other things a person can do for fun

One day I will explain and you will know

Okay

Why must these things take forever?

I actually really like the time between putting something in the oven and it being done

No, that's the time when so much can go wrong and I have no control over it, that's the worst.

You control the temperature

Uh huh

It gives you time to rest

Gross

My mum agrees with me, but she likes it because it gives you time to clean everything and then you can enjoy what you made in a nice environment

I guess

Oh, of course, that "you guess". My reason is gross but this one that really is isn't?

Hers is logical

Aha

Are you cleaning up then?

Yeah

Are you??? I'm impressed

Well I'm not about to let mum do it alone after I begged her to make it

That's good, then

Mhm, keep being impressed

I am

Good

James and Lily are STILL on the phone, how should I disturb them?

Oh, how did her exam go?

By the sounds of it, very well

Okay, disturb them by stealing the phone and telling her congratulations from me

That's not disturbing???

No, but can you please tell her anyway?

Ughhhhhhh fine

Thank youuu

She says thank you

Does at least she agree with me that running is awful?

Oh yes, but she gets why we do it

Because you're awful as well

Rude

But true

Hmph

Oh wow

Unfair

I cut the strawberries

Beautiful

I think I did my fair share

Looks like you did great

Thank you, thank you

Of course

Think about how I'll be eating it while you're running

Think about your mouth while I'm running, got it.

You can think about other parts too

Eyes, yes please

And hands

Yeah

Good hands

Mhm

Probably shouldn't think about them while I'm running, actually

Wouldn't want to run into a tree

Yyeah

Or fall into a hole

Yeah that

Long fingers holding a fork full of that cheesecake, bringing it to my mouth

Mhm

And my tongue licking the spoon

Y

Wait, it's a spoon now?

Um

Yes, because I'll have tea with the cake and after I'll stir the tea I'll forget to switch back to fork

Sure sure

It could happen!

I believe you, I just need to get the story straight so I know what to think about while I'm lying in the hole after I've hit the tree and I'm waiting for an ambulance to arrive

Forget the cutlery then, just imagine me licking my lips

Rright, got it

Tell me later if I got another point

You got another point

I don't know how, with cheesecake, but you definitely did

Sweet

Mhm

4 - 1

Not even fair

I think it is

Uh huh

Speaking of, is my chocolate on the way?

Yes, I've been waiting for it to arrive

Excellent

It is

Good

You'll see

That I will

Ours is out now

So is this goodbye?

Well

It's talk to you later?

How late do you think you'll be up?

I'll wait.

It's usually really late

Well I sleep long in the morning

Very true

Okay

Talk to you later.

Soon



Are you still up?

mhm

Oh good. But also what are you still doing awake??

havent done questions yet

Moony

hm ?

Nothing

You go first

dyou think youll ever be comfy enough with me that i that youd let me braid your hair

I can't say for sure right now because I've only has limited experience with your physical presence. But from where I'm sitting right now, yes, absolutely.

do you hope so cuz i hope so

I really really hope so

Long fingers

mmm kay

What aren't you scared of, meeting me? What are you sure is going to be okay?

you

Oh

Well

That's good

even if i ruin it i still think youll be nice about it

You won't do that

might, but you wont call it that thats what im saying

Okay

and i dont mean this not ruin this

just moments

You could never ruin this.

Moments are okay. Moments can be bad without ruining anything

yeah

We're going to be just fine

mmm we

Mhm. We

im sleep

Go sleep, Moony

gnight

Good night

 

Hey Moony?

mhm?

Can I call?

mhm

Thank you

Chapter Text

Good morning

Good morning!

Sleep well?

Yes

And had cake for breakfast

Oh! Oh oh good idea!

Somehow, when YOU say it, I worry

Double standards much??

Oops

Aha

Tea?

Chocolate!!

You got it?????

Yessss

Yeeeeesssss

Hm

Hm?????

It's alright

Alright

It's alright?

Yeah

Not glorious?? Not the best???

Definitely not the best

I'm trying again.

Trying what?

Trying different chocolate, I WILL find the best chocolate

You're gonna send me more chocolate??

Yes

I am very very okay with that

I didn't think you'd protest

You got the quantity part almost right

I'll do better next time

Still a good weekly supply, thank you

A week

Oh wow

What?

I thought that was a lot

Not for a Moony

My mistake

You'll learn

I am as I go

It goes well with the cake

You never picked the tea

Yummmm

Green

Okay

Lily is here

Hi Lily!

So are all of her things

Hi all of Lily's things!

Hi indeed

She says hello by the way

Are you helping her unpack?

Yes

Should you be focusing on that?

We're all kind of multitasking

Okay

Once we start moving furniture around I may concentrate harder on it

Okay

Hey hey hey

You'll like this

No sugar in my tea

!!!!!

I'm so proud!

Thank you thank you

Have enough with the cake and chocolate?

Yes

Good thinking

So your cake was good?

Soooo good

Good

Ours is all gone

Is it just the three of you?

Yes?

But we ate most of it yesterday already

Fair, I suppose

Oh, how was running?

Fucking perfect

Sooooo nice

Aha

It was amazing

Aha

It was

Sure

Hmph

I'm glad you enjoyed it

I really really did

Good.

What did you do the rest of the night?

Watched tv with mum

That's nice

It was

Watch anything good?

Just whatever was on, mostly we talked through everything

Definitely nice

Yes

Good

You came up a lot

I did?

Mhm

What about me?

Mostly good things

Mostly

Well there was that whole debacle when you insulted her profession

Ughhhhhhhhh

<3

Uh huh

:(

Tell me nice things

Um

Your chocolate wasn't the only mail I got, that's nice

Oh?

But that's more nice for me, not nice for you

The knitting's going well

That's good

I hope you'll like it

I think you will

I'm positive I will

I'm not good at this like you are, I don't just have a supply of nice stories

I only meant nice things that came up about me with your mum

But I love that you're trying

Oh. Dunno. Just told her bits and pieces because she kept teasing me about checking my phone all the time.

Liiiiiiike?

Like how cute you are

Fair conversation topic

And how talented you are and how sweet and how you nag me about sugar and how unfair your piercings are

You told her my piercings are unfair?

Yes

Because they are

Amazing

They're that, too

You are

Nah

Yes definitely

Maybe a little

Excuse me while I bask in the nice things

You are excused

Thank you

You're welcome

Okay I'm good for now

Quick basking

It happens in spurts

Just so you know, at some point in the future you'll have to paint her something, because she compliments your paintings every time she walks into my room

Awwww

I will

I don't think you really have a choice

Well alright

You do.

Don't need one

Okay

That's really pretty.

Going to try not sending things in bulk, just pretty things when I see them

I'd like that

Then it's like you're experiencing them with me

That's why I'd like it

I like that better

Me too

Pick a record for us

Something fun for unpacking

Like disco

We have a library to choose from now

Something by the trammps

Classic, sure

Would you prefer bee gees

I always prefer the Bee Gees, but we've landed on Trammps

I literally shuddered, just so you know

There was a solid month where whenever James and I disagreed I'd sing You Win Again at him in school. It was a lot.

M

Christ

Take that as a warning

Oh no

Mmmmmmmhm

I shuddered in my mind

Are you disagreeing with me, Moony?

No

Are you sure??? Are you sure you're not disagreeing with me???? Because we gotta level before we go and tear this love apart, Moony

I'm sure I'm sure please stop

There's no fight you can't fight

Byeee

 

Pick up the phone, Moony

 

I need to serenade you

 

You don't need to say anything

 

Just pick up

No thank you I'm alright without it stuck in my head

THIS BATTLE OF LOVE WITH ME

YOU WIN AGAIN

DO LITTLE TIME WE DO NOTHING BUT COMPETE

I'm turning my phone off

THERE'S NO LIFE ON EARTH

NO OTHER COULD SEE ME THROUGH

YOU WIN AGAIN

it'll be here when you get back

SOME NEVER TRY BUT IF ANYBODY CAN WE CAAAN

Are you done

Hmmmmmmm

Nope

AND I'LL BE

I'LL BE

FOLLOWING YOU

Bit stalkerish

Better then the next part which always seemed more like assault than anything else

Yeah, don't sing that

I never do

Good

Can't believe you didn't answer my calls

Believe it

What if it had been an emergency?

What if I'd been dying?

You'd say 'pick up, it's an emergency/I'm dying'

But I am dying. I'm dying having to listen to Disco Inferno like it isn't the most generic song in the history of music

Burn baby burn

When I'm dead, yes, maybe

It's not that bad

Says you

Well it's not

Mmmhm

If I sang it, would you listen?

Yes.

Then it's not that bad.

It still is, I just really want to hear you sing

Not gonna happen

Hmph

 

Moons?

Sorry, was getting dressed

Oh okay

Alice is coming over soon

That'll be really nice

Should be

Good

She'll probably want some alone time

Oh?

With me minus my phone

Oh that

Okay

Yeah

Tell her hi from me

I will

Thanks

Of course

Talk to you later?

Oh okay


She says hi back

Thank youuu

Also that I can definitely stay at hers next week

That's very good news

Also that you're lucky that even if she wouldn't be busy otherwise (still trying to get her to tell me with what) she'd have another party to go to, so she forgives you for not inviting her

Oh! She could have come!

She says too little, too late

:(

She doesn't believe your sadness

It's real sadness

She's not convinced

I'm feeling loss that I won't be meeting her as well and I didn't even know that was something I really wanted to do

Some other time

Okay

She's not too happy about it either

I'm sorry

I'm not

I'm not sorry I get that time with you instead, in any case

So much time. Whole day

Yes

In less than a week

Yes

We'll see each other

Yes

Again

Yes

Properly

Yes

Aaaaa!!!

I mean we don't have to do the whole day if you don't want to, we could meet for breakfast and talk and things and then you could take a break from me and we could meet back up for the party

If you want

I don't want a break from you

You might

Do you not want to do this?

I want to more than anything

Then can we just stick to the plan?

I'm not going to stop being afraid of you hating me until you're here, I think

I'm not going to hate you

Yeah

I'm sorry. I'm so excited about it, I don't want it to seem like I'm not

Is there anything I can do or say that will make you less afraid?

I don't know

I just need to remember that I get to see you, as much as you get to see me

I forget everything else when I remember that

You get to see me

And your face

And my face

What do you think you're going to wear?

I don't think, I know

What are you going to wear????

Hmmm should I really tell you

Yes.

Hmmm

Tell meeeeeee

It's not like it's that hard to guess

Which jumper???

Iiiii can't tell you that

It's gonna be a new one

Probably

New???

So fancy

Well it's a special occasion

Does that mean I get to buy something new for it too???

Well

I'm not going to stop you

Yesssss I'm telling Lily

Does she get to go shopping with you?

That's why I'm telling her

She likes it too?

To a point. She likes the having cute things more than the getting new cute things

See, this is why I like her better

Do not

Nah. It'd be pretty hard to like someone more

Mmm better

Alice wants me to herself again

I'm envious, but I understand the feeling

My love to her, go have fun

You too


Hi. That was longer than I thought we'd be. You still up?

I'm up

Hi

How was it?

Really good

Good

Did she stay?

Yeah, she's just in the shower

Good

You okay?

Yes

Yes I'm okay, sorry

Questions?

Okay

You first?

Well mostly I'd just like to know about your day. Pick one moment and describe it in detail

That's not a question

But okay

Can you describe one moment in your day?

There

So the first night James and I moved in we didn't have most of our furniture here yet. So the four of us ate Chinese takeout on the floor where the dining table would be once it got there. The layout of the flat, you'll see it. It would make more sense if the table was where the sofa is and the sofa was where the table is, but something about that night made that the official eating area. And moving everything in and around today felt a lot like that first day, so we moved the table and chairs and rolled up the rug that's there and the four of us ate Chinese on the floor like we did then. And if it were anyone else, it'd seem really stupid to get nostalgic over something that happened a few months ago, but Wormy and I both tend to get nostalgic for things immediately after they've happened.

That sounds really nice.

It felt really nice

I'm glad

I didn't mean to not talk to you before questions. I'm

Dunno

It's okay, you don't have to

Okay

My turn?

But you can if you want to.

Yeah

Do you think about me when you're not texting me?

All the time

Really?

I always wonder what you're doing, and when you're at work I'm hoping you're having fun, and if you're gone for long I get a bit worried. And sometimes I just daydream

You daydream about me?

I

Yeah

That sounds nice

It is.

Thank you

For what?

Not sure

Lots of things

You're welcome.

I suppose we're not calling tonight?

I can call when Alice falls asleep and if you'll still be awake you can pick up?

Okay

She's pretty tired, I'd give her 15 minutes tops

I'll keep my fingers crossed

Just in case: goodnight.

I'm going to wait.

Okay.

Call me when you're ready

 

"..."

"Hi?"

"Hiii."

"All okay?"

"Mhmmm."

"Goodnight, cutie."

"Mmmmnight."

 

***

 

Morning

Good morning

How are you?

I'm with my roomies, I'm great

I'm trapped

Trapped?

Half of Alice is sleeping on me

That could be nice

It is

That's good then

Does she smell nice?

Like my shampoo

What should I draw on her face?

Mmm tea tree

Freckles and a flower with a winding stem

You're too nice

No one has ever said that

I just did

Thank you

What are you up to?

Carefully preening through Lily's clothes as we put them away

Looking for things to steal

Of course

I don't care if we're completely different sizes, I'm going to look great in these

Oh I don't doubt that

Good

I assume you'll decide what to wear on Friday that morning?

I have six potential outfits lined up

Six

Yes, so far

Do I get to know what they are?

Are you kidding?

No?

No.

Okay

Some of them even show a bit of ankle

I'm wild like that

Oh, my!

Think you'll be able to handle it?

Doubt it

Then I'll be sure to at least cover the wrists

I can't make that promise

Why Moony!

I, too, am wild.

In that case, I'll only cover my wrists

Only your wrist and nothing else?? That is wild

Precisely

How about hair?

I do have some, yes

You know what I meaaaaan

What about it?

Is there more chance of it being up or down

That depends on lots of things

Yeahhh I know, just trying to imagine

Don't know yet

How is it now

Now it's down

And you're wearing

Pretty sure you don't want me to answer that

I really really do though

Torn up denims and a grey shirt that used to be a Don Henley shirt but has been repurposed into a crop top

Dark denims or light?

Light

How high is the waist?

Not

Not?

Not high

Okay

Okay

Okay okay okay

Otherwise you couldn't see this thing

Oh fuck

Don't do it

It's there whether you can see it or not

Ughhhhhh I forgot about it I was already dead before

Do it

Nope too late

What, nooooo

Lost your navel privileges

So sad

But I wanna see

Soooo sad

Siriuuuus

o kay

Is it?

You were right, I shouldn't have asked what you were wearing

Told you

Let the record show the hair is going up

Let the record show you got a point

Yesssssss

Not fair

You asked, you literally asked, several times throughout

Should've saved this for Friday

So I'd die??

Well nooo

Well how would you expect me to handle that if I doubt I'll even handle wrists and ankles

Okay, so nothing that reveals all piercings at once?

That narrows it to three clothing options

Yes, murder me gradually

As you wish

Aha

Your turn

Ookay

I

Meant what are you wearing but

That too yes that definitely too

Oh, oops

No

Not oops

Still in my pjs

Which are?

Soft

How soft?

Very

Cotton soft or fuzzy soft?

Fuzzy

Shirt?

Um. Tank top, but I'm gonna change soon when we'll go downstairs

Okay

Probably just into a plain tshirt

Possibly scarlet, Alice insists I look good in red

Mhm mhm how soft will that be?

I bet you do

Also very soft, but cottony

Perfect

Lots of hugs from Alice guaranteed

Tell her to give an extra one for me

Will do

Thank you both

You're welcome

I get to do that soon

You do

That's

Something

That's something?

Yes

Is there a word for "exciting" and "deeply comforting" at the same time?

I know what you mean

So something

I am very much looking forward to that something

Me too

Tea?

Oh never mind

Alice is taking over

Hmph

I promise you can pick again tomorrow

Okay

How many clothes so far?

All of them

My wardrobe basically just doubled in size

Do you steal James' clothes as well?

Other than pyjamas

Is it stealing if we basically share anyway?

Does he see it as sharing?

We do the laundry together and put clothes in whichever closet they land in, so yes

Then no, it's not stealing

He generally doesn't borrow any of my lace or leather and I usually don't touch anything with a team logo on it of his, but we meet in the middle on band shirts and things

Sounds like a good arrangement

It works well for me

We're going back to bed

You're both impossible

Shhh

Hmph

dreams

Thank you<3

<3

 

Moony, I'm going to practice with Prongs. If I'm not around when you wake up that's where I am

 

Hi?

 

No?

Okay

Boo

 

We're going to mum's work for lunch. Hope you're having fun...watching James run around?

 

Are you around?

Practice was really good, Lily and I cheered them on and ate sandwiches

 

This is starting to suck

Shite, hi

Hi

We were in the kitchen and it was loud and busy, I didn't hear the first two

It's okay

Sorry. Were the sandwiches good?

Don't be

They were alright

It was too hot to enjoy them fully

Were you still in your crop top?

Well yeah

Still hot though

Rain here

That sounds so welcome right now

Cold. No more fuzzy pjs.

Noooooo

No more hugs

Unacceptable.

I agree

I want to talk to Alice

Hello?

Why aren't you hugging him???

Excuse me?

He said the hugs stopped and that doesn't make any sense at all, someone should always be hugging him at all times, always

When he wants them, anyway

He could've said.

Would you say?

Yes.

Does he usually say?

Sometimes he nudges me.

That's a thing he does?

Yeah, he just sits or stands there with all of his lanky limbs, looking all awkward, and he nudges me with his elbow and gives me this nervous/pleading look.

Right

That's

Possibly the most endearing thing I've ever heard

I'll hug him, do you want me to say it's from you?

Mhm please

Thank you, you didn't have to do that

But I want to and I can't, so

Thank you.

What are you two up to now?

Just walking around, waiting for mum to finish work so we can all go back together

Oh that's nice

And it will continue to be as long as we stay away from the streets with shops

Booooooring

Pleasant

Hmph

As pleasant as it can be in the rain

Extra pleasant

Cold.

That's what you need me around for

But you're not

No, I'm not

Change of subject to something nicer?

Ohhhh yummmmm

Yesss

Well now we need to go find a bakery

Oops

Aha

Your mum doesn't have anything suitable?

Nah, we stole too much already

Ah, fair

Yeah

Find something yummy

We'll try

<3

Thank you

Meanwhile I'll have a chocolate one for you

Tease

I

I know you didn't mean that to be

Anything

But could we avoid that in future?

Yes.

Sorry

It's not the word, the word is fine, it's the accusation

Which I know it wasn't

We're talking about pastries, I know

Nothing to be sorry for, as long as you know it wasn't that. It'd never be that.

I do know

Then it's all okay and I'll avoid that

Thank you

Thank you for telling me

We said we would

I know. Still

It didn't feel bad to say it

That's really good

I think so

Yessss

All four chocolate eclairs are mine

All four

Wow

Two are for later, stop judging

Mmmmhm

They are!

I believe you

Mhm

I think I'm going to draw for a bit

Enjoy.

Thank you


I didn't draw

What did you do?

Paint. Been doing that a lot more lately

What did you paint?

And more importantly, are your hands art?

My hands are art

Mmm

I love that

Me too

I'm guessinggggg

Sea

You'll see

Oh

Oh I will!

I'll see more of your art!

You will

This just keeps getting better and better

I have a feeling we can't even imagine how good is going to be yet

Yeah

Less than a week

Less than a week.

What did you do while I was doing that?

Drove home, had dinner

Now we're back in bed

Of course you are

It's appropriate time for bed

For normal people maybe

It's cozy and warm

Good

And fuzzy pjs are back

This I definitely support

And cuddles

I definitely definitely support that

Me too

I want cuddles now

Go get them

Imma do it

Yesss

I have them.

Yes!

All of them

All of them?

Well both, but that's also all

Are you in a cuddle sandwich? I'm imagining you in a sandwich

I aaaaaaaaammmmmm

Enjoy it

I am.

Good

They had the cuddles all ready and rudely forgot to invite me

Mean!

That's what I said!

They should make it up to you

Good point, I'll tell them

b

Y

Yes bu t

T hey'rre

Kissi n g

Me

Awww

C a ll and

Save

M e

Nah

Call! !!!

Nah, I'll just let you drown in kisses

Moony!

"Oh now they stop."

"I don't know what his problem is, we've been perfectly polite the whole time."

"Padfoot, did you lie about kisses so that I'd call you?"

"No! Though that's not a half bad idea for future."

"'I miss your voice' would work just as well."

"Awww!"

"Wow, nerds."

"Noted."

"I have to get back to Al. James, Lily, carry on. Sirius, text me later."

"See how bossy he is, Lily?"  

"I like him."

"Me too??? I like him too!"

"Oh we know that."

"Bye, Remus, it was really nice hearing you."

"You too, Lily, you're my favourite."

"Hey!"

"Oi!"

Take it back!

You're my favourite, Sirius.

THIS IS JAMES

I AM SO HURT RIGHT NOW

Oh hi James

You're ranked after Peter

WHAT

You're just not that loveable, what can I say

MOONY

I am incredibly lovable, ask Sirius

I just don't see it??

Well of course you don't see it, this is not visual communication!

Paint me a picture then, tell me what about you I should love so much

Um because I'm amazing and you don't need more proof than that????

But what makes you amazing?

Born with it?

Sure, sure, take the easy way out

Hmph

Have your boyfriend, you seem to like him better for some reason

He's all pouty now

Nooo no no no tell him I didn't mean it

He says it's too late

Why does he believe things so easilyyy

James trusts his friends as blindly as, well, James

Please tell him I like him and am not in the business of ranking friends

He's blowing kisses, I'm almost sure they're for you

I'm...not blowing them back, but I appreciate his

Good enough

Sorry I hung up so fast, Alice really doesn't like phones, I went to the bathroom to talk.

It's okay. I didn't mean to cut into her time

I did miss your voice

I missed yours too.

She's letting me text because she's afraid you won't like her if she keeps being the one taking me away.

Nooooo

Of course I'll still like her

And I definitely can't blame her for wanting your attention

That's what I told her, but she still thinks you'll associate her with a bad thing too much

I won't. I'm going to go cuddle these losers because they look cold and lonely trying to do it on their own. Amateurs. Enjoy your time with her.

Thank you <3

 

Hi?

Hi

Cuddles were good?

Yes, but the bed still isn't made for three, sadly

No room for a bigger one?

No, we tried to e

Tried fitting one and it didn't quite work

Too bad

Yeahhh

Questions?

Yes

You first

How open are you with Alice?

She knows everything, but she knew everything before she knew me, so it's not really comparable. I don't know how much and how soon I'd tell her otherwise. But it also says a lot that she knew the bad and still gave me a chance, so in general I don't hide things from her.

Okay

Took a while to get more personal, but she can be very persistent when she wants to be

I like her

She likes you too

Thank you

You're welcome

Your turn?

Have you heard from Reg? How are they? Is it okay to ask about them?

It is very okay to ask about them

They're resilient. My cousins are already giving them a hard time though

Hard time how?

They're not buying the illness story, they want to know where they were

Is telling them to fuck off not an option?

No

We're lucky if they haven't alerted my parents to their strange behavior already

Is there anything they'd approve of that could work as a cover?

They've already gone with violent illness, they sort of have to stick with that

Well they could say that was a cover

Oh

I don't know

But what for

Preferably something that they could also ask their cousins not tell their parents.

Okay.

Just a few weeks.

Yes

Alice is snoring, wanna hear?

Yes

"..."

"..."

"Beautiful."

"Shhh whisper."

"Okay. Beauuutifullll."

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"Nothing, just...haven't heard you whisper before. It's nice."

"Oh. Thank you?"

"You're welcome. Goodnight?"

"Goodnight, Moons."

 

"Mmmoony."

"Hmm?"

"..."

"Pads?"

"..."

"Hope it's a nice dream."

"Mmm."

"That’s a nice sound, so I’m gonna assume it is."

"..."

"I think..."

"..."

"I think I'd really like sleeping with you."

"..."

"If nothing else you'd keep me warm. It'd be really nice to have someone to keep me warm."

"..."

"I'm letting myself hope. I know it's probably not a good idea. I know it probably won't end well. I know someone like me isn't likely to be loved. But I just... I like you too much not to try."

"..."

"Remus?"

"Oh fuck, sorry.  Did I wake you?"

"Yeah, you okay?"

"Mhm, just talking."

"To yourself?"

"Well- kind of. No. Phone."

"Oh, that."

"Yeah, sorry, I'll stop."

"No, it's okay. Do you do this a lot?"

"Which part of it?"

"Talk at him while he's asleep?"

"Yeah, sometimes."

"Weird. Kinda cute, but weird."

"Sounds about right."

"So you really really like him, huh?"

"That's not what I said, was it?"

"But you do."

"I- yeah, I do."

"Youuu have a cruuuuush."

"Ughhhhh must you?"

"Yes."

"Can you do it quietly so you don't wake him?"

"If I go to sleep do you promise to give me details in the morning before I leave?"

"I promise. You don't mind the call still running?"

"Nah, you do your thing."

"Goodnight."

"Night, weirdo."

 

"Goodnight, Sirius."

"Mmm."

"Mmm indeed."

Chapter Text

Moony Moony Moony wake uuuup

too early

Hmph

important?

Noooo guess not

ok then shhh

<3

Fiiiiine

 

Okay, what?

Nothing, just missed you

Oh

Yeah

Well I'm here now

Yesssss

Hi

Hi, good morning

Sleep okay?

Yes, very

You?

Alright

Okay

Know what I have?

A bad hair day? A pony? A magic wand?

Well

A smoothie. But close?

Please tell me it's not one of James'

Ew gross, no

Okay good

But also not good, because now I'm envious

Make one

Um, no

Whyyy

The blender's super annoying to clean

Sooooooo?

Smoothie

Eh

Might as well just eat fruit

That's a level of laziness I have never encountered

Until now

Until now

You're welcome

Thank you so much

Tea?

Fruity

Hmm. Okay.

If you won't have a smoothie

Yeah, right. You're just trying to keep me away from sugar

Is it working?

Maybe

Yessss

Hmph

I believe that's one point for Padfoot

Maybe half a point

Hmph

So quick to pout

Well I can't see winning the argument for the other half

How do you feel about lemon in tea?

Strategically useful

Wow

What?

Nothing

No lemon it is

Fair

And an apple

You know those grow on trees, right?

I am aware, yes

The freshness won't make your skin itch???

I'm used to that

Okay

Might have a banana as well

Impressive

But I'm having it will nutella

That makes more sense

Apple was... not the worst

Progress!

Yeah yeah

Victory for me, now go eat a banana

Go to work

I am, I am

Have a good day

You too


 

Still there?

Still here

Hi there!

Hello

What have I missed?

Um

I just woke up

What

I woke up Alice and we talked for a while and then she left and I went back to bed

But

What?

But it’s nearly evening

It's 5

Yes

So still hours before it even gets dark

Remember we were talking about proper times to be in bed?

This is not one of them

Well I'm up now so

That part works for me, I won't complain about that

Out of bed and everything

I'm proud

As is right

Do you stretch when you get out of bed?

Like when you yawn and stretch kind of stretch?

Yes

Yes

Noted

Do you?

I do before I get up

Arms really up?

No, across

Okay

I starfish

You starfish

Uh huh

Noted

So what are you going to do with this whole entire wide open day you have ahead of you now?

Write ads for offering tutoring

Oh!

That's excellent

Yes.

I think so, at least

That's perfect

Been putting it off for a while

You're going to be so good at this

Maybe

So definitely

You can't know

I do know

You can't know

But I do

How

Because I know you

I know me too and I don't know

You're too close, I see you and I know this is going to be good

Okay

But I'm blaming you if it's not

That's fine, do it, because it will be

Yeah, yeah, I'm doing it

Good

And your plans?

Lily time

Meeting her to go shopping

I need three replacement outfit-options for the ones with too much midriff

Noo

Oh yes

Noo

No such thing as too much midriff

But you said you'd die! I would really like you to be alive for this!

I'd manage!

Hmmmmmm

I would, I'd survive, I promise

We'll see, still shopping though

Ew, have fun

We willlllll


Hellooooo

Hi

Making progress on ads?

All done

I want to seeeee

No

What why??

Just. No

:(

Don't

Okay

Sorry

No???

Okay

But are you pleased with how they came out?

Yeah, I think so

Good!

Yeah

Not having second thoughts?

No.

Okay good

Did you buy anything nice?

Of course

What

Hmmmm can't say, you might see

Hmph okay

These are new, you can see these

thank you

Anytime

You can have that other half of the point

Nice!

Your legs are

They serve their purpose

Aha.

Did Lily buy anything?

She diiiiiiid

Things you'll wear too, I see

You know me too well

Getting there

Hmph

Is that a bad thing?

Well I don't think it is

So you're pouting because...?

Kinda seemed like you were denying it

No

Kinda

I wasn't

Alright

Feel really happy that you think so, actually

Okay

Is it, are you, are we?

Yes, yes, definitely

Okay

Sorry

No?

I just want to be home. I want to be home several minutes ago. It hit me all at once that I just want to not be out here anymore.

Go home<3

We're on our way

Good

I'll text you in a bit?

Okay

 

 

Still around?

Yes

I'm sorry about earlier

Why?

I think I would have been better if I'd just kept talking to you

Then I'm sorry that you didn't

Better now?

A bit. Calmer at least

Is there anything I can do?

Just talking is good

Okay

What are you up to?

If I admit to being back in bed, will you be horrified again?

Yes but not really

I'm back in bed, reading

Something good?

Just started, haven't decided yet

What is it?

Just some novel

Okay

It's about werewolves, I doubt it'll be any good

You tell me if you find me a sufficient boyfriend in there

Hmm no

I've not given up hope on finding an incredible werewolf boyfriend to live happily ever after with just to prove you wrong about werewolves.

I think I've helped you enough with that already

What have you done 'already'????

I help by just existing

Well yes, in most matters, but this one not so much

You don't know

Been taking my picture round to all the popular werewolf bars, then?

Sure, sure. Made a collage of all the bits you sent

Well that explains why I haven't gotten any calls yet

Oh well

Guess you'll just have to settle for me

Settle for

You

As

I mean

You

Well I do call you all the time

You do

Well, to be fair, you call me more

I've been meaning to say something about that

Are you okay with that?

With

With you calling more often than I do

Oh

Yes, it's never bothered me

I just

My phone bill's gotten really high and I can't

But if mine has so has yours, so

Don't know if that's a problem for you or not

It's not

I'll do the calling from now on

That's not really fair

You can still ask. The wanting to be called is still nice. But the bill is completely insignificant to me and it's not to you, so why not?

Okay

Thank you

No problem

Oh you did the different pair thing

Those are cute!

Thank you

Is that a dog?

Yeah, Snoopy

Sure sure

He's a beagle from a comic book

Got it

Thank you

Too boring on its own so I had to mismatch

I love the polka dots

I have other colours too

I'm waiting

I'm not getting up just to show you the same socks in different colours

Aren't you though?

Nope

Aren't youuuuuu

No

It was worth a shot

I'd say I'll wear a pair on Friday, but I've already got a different pair picked out

Ohhhh special socks?

Just for you

Awwww

☆☆☆ 

???

You'll see

Ughhh okay

It's stars

Oh

Oh!

Awww!

Stars

For me

I'm a star

You’re a star.

And they glow in the dark

Ooooooh

Mhm

I want to see!!

That's what Friday is for

Friday is for lots of things

Mmmhm

By which I totally mean my friend's moving-in-party

Oh, that, yeah, of course

Yes, not like I only just remembered that's why you're coming

No, no, of course not

Not at all

Nope

Oops

What should I bring her?

Oh you don't have to do that

But what if I want to?

Then she likes music and movies she seems to think are classics and fiction books

Okay

If I give her one of my used books would she mind?

She'd prefer it if it's already got love in it

What an incredibly sappy way of putting it

I'm great

That you are

What book?

Going to pass on the werewolf one?

No, haven't put any love into that one

I'll think about it

Okay

It's between me and Lily anyway, you don't get to know

Well rude

You talk in your sleep as well, can't have you spilling secrets

I talk in my sleep?

Well you did last night

I did?

Just a little

What did I say?

Just my name

I mean

Moony

You said Moony

Oh

Yeah

I think I remember the dream

I didn't say anything else?

No

Just 'mmm'

Okay

Okay

What was the dream?

Nothing

Doesn't matter

Yes it does

I was telling you something

It was something really personal

And then

Doesn't matter

But it was a good dream

Okay

Which I think I'm going to do again soon

Questions, then?

Okay

You first

What was the best part of your weekend with Alice?

The talk we had this morning

Good talk?

Mhm, very

What about?

Me

And you

I'm quite popular in your conversations

Yep

Nice things?

Feelings things

Oh

Or maybe, oh?

Still all nice

Okay

Good

My turn?

Yes

Without any pressure or expectations, what would your feelings be if I asked you out at some point in the future?

Well

There would be a lot of them

Do you think they'd be mostly positive?

Yes.

Okay

I'll do the calling if you'll do the asking?

Deal.

Deal

"Hi."

"Hello."

"Was it okay that I asked that? I know it's soon and I know it's just a pre-question and I know things may change after you learn more about me, but that's exactly why I don't want to pretend and hide what I'm feeling, because I'm hiding enough already. And Alice said I should."

"Thank Alice for me, please."

"She'll be glad she got all the credit."

"It's very okay. And I don't want you to hide things from me you don't really feel you need to. And I know it's soon and it's a weird situation. And I don't really care that much about that."

"Me neither. I really like you."

"I really like you, too."

"That's a nice thought to fall asleep with."

"Feels warm."

"Mmm."

"You do that pretty."

"Hm?"

"Noises."

"Oh."

"Mhm."

"Thank you."

"Welcome."

"Definitely haven't heard that one before."

"Until now."

"Until now."

"Mm sleepy."

"Goodnight."

"Night night."

 

***

 

"Moons?"

"..."

"Good morning. Hope you're sleeping as nicely as I was."

"..."

"You're really good for dreams."

"..."

"Text me when you wake up. Obviously."

 

Good morning

Good morning

Any nice dreams?

Yes

I'll share if you share

You first

I was walking through a forest and for some reason decided to swim in a river I came across. And of course I was cold after, so I went home, just that it didn't really look like home, but my bed was still the same. And I climbed in and texted you and you thought it was unacceptable that I was so cold, so you came to warm me up.

I'm very utilitarian like that. Did I do a good job?

Very

Mmm good

It really was

I dreamed I was back at school, only you were there. And Reg didn't hate me. And you and me, we kept sneaking off to all my old favourite hiding spots in order to plot harmless pranks against Peter and James.

Did we succeed in any?

We never carried any out

Maybe in the next dream, then

Or, you know, real life

Ooooh true

Anything we could pull off?

What

Did we come up with any pranks in the dream that we could realistically do?

Oh. If I remember any of them clear enough, I'll let you know.

Okay

I don't trust my sleeping brain to have come up with anything too clever though

That's what your awake brain is for

We'll see

Tea?

Chamomile

Okay

Plans?

Gonna go put up the ads on campus and the library, maybe the high school one as well

Very good

Possibly

It will be

Maybe

Definitely

You have work?

Yes

Do you know yet if you can get Friday off?

Oh yes, Friday is clear

I switched with someone, that's why I'm working today

Okay, good

If not, I was going to call in sick

Hm

Yeah yeah

Worth it.

Okay. Have a nice day then

I will!



 

How did it go?

Great, will tell you more later

Oh okay

Good!

 

Sorry, I was at a late lunch with my former English teacher

I ran into her when I was trying to find someone who could tell me if it's okay to put my ad on their notice boards, and she wanted to catch up

They wouldn't let me pin them up at the library at first, but then someone working there recognized me and said it was fine

And no problems on campus, and someone already called me

Only to ask if I could help them cheat, but still, it's a start

 

It is! That's really good

Yesss

How was the English teacher?

Oh, wonderful

Yeah?

Yeah. It's really not that hard to get a date with a teacher, I don't know how you managed to fail at it so many times

What no

That was lunch it wasn't a date

Lunches can be dates

And I was still her student at the time, it's ninety times easier with a former teacher

Sure sure

Late lunch with a former teacher isn't a date.

Try going on one then

Was it nice like a date?

It was very nice

That's so great

Though I wouldn't mind skipping over having to hear all about her grandchildren

Grandchildren?

She has six. Two sons. Has been happily not married but living with her partner for more than forty years now

Oh, that's nice

Really nice

Mhm

So not a date

Not a date, no

Okay

You think I'd go on a date?

Well

I dunno

Sirius

Would you?

No.

Why?

Because I just asked last night if I could ask you? Why would I want to go out with someone else?

Dunno

I don't.

Okay

Also teachers are your type, not mine

Well that's true

Aha

I would've been supportive, though

I would've tried

And people say you're not nice

Who?????

James

That's rude of him

I agree

Hmph

Work was good?

Oh, fantastic!

I talked an older man into mascara and blue lipstick and he seemed really excited about it

Aww, nice!

It was it was

I'm glad

And now party planning

Ohhh, fun

Fun?

Fun!

Good!

What might you want to drink?

Juice?

Kind?

Any but orange

Orange with extra pulp, got it

For me to dip your hair in, okay

No orange, got it

Thank you

No problem

Are you the president of the party committee?

I suppose, yes. Co-president at least

Are there gonna be balloons?

There are, is that alright?

Very

Bubbles' cousins

Yessssss

Semi-permanent bubbles

Exactly

It's going to be good

Yesss

Lots of reasons

Yes.

Other requests?

Snacks?

Yes, what?

Just a lot

Noted

I'm not picky

You say that now

I'm nooot

Mmmmmhm

I'm not!

Not when it comes to snacks

Fair enough, alright

How many people will there be?

Around a dozen

Okay

And the bedrooms are out of party bounds, so if you need space for a while, you can always just duck into one of those

Thank you

No problem. I want you to feel safe and okay

Thank you

You're very very welcome

 

Moony?

Yes

Okay?

Yes, sorry, someone else called about the tutoring

Oh good!

How'd it go?

Meeting her tomorrow

Aaaah it worked!

It worked

Congratulations!!!!!!!

Save it for after I see if I can actually be of any help

You will be, I already know this

Okay okay

Yesssssssssss

Professor Lupin: the journey begins

Wow

Yes.

Sure

Yes.

Shouldn't my journey begin with me realizing I wanted to teach?

No.

Why not?

Because I said so?

Sure, okay

Yes.

She needs help with history, so it shouldn't be a problem

Perfect, she needs help with history, you're a giant nerd. Perfect.

Hey

True though

Hmph

Pouting won't make you not a giant nerd

Shush

Okay but I won't though

Good

I'm kinda proud of you

Oh

Thanks

No need, I just am

Not really 'kind of' either

So what do I say if not thank you?

You could tell me which colour balloons to buy most of

Lighter colours, they last longer

They do?

Darker absorb more heat and pop faster

Oh

Oh you're a SUPER nerd

Shuuuuush

Huge nerd. Oh wow wow wow. Such nerd.

Ughhh

Great nerd

Fantastic

Light colours it is, then, nerdy nerd

Mhm

Thank you

You're welcome

Pastel balloon party

Sounds nice

Hope so

It's gonna be great

I'm not worried about it

Good

Too worried about the other stuff

Nooo

Not worried

Jittery?

Jittery is acceptable

Okay

Me too

It's going to be good

I should be running around doing things for now, I'll talk to you in a bit?

Congratulations again though

Thank you, go run around

Yesss


The running has ceased

Did everything?

I believe so

Did everything right?

Probably not

Did everything not horribly wrong?

I think so

All good then

Close enough

I prepared a bit for tomorrow in the meantime

Good!

Yes

Feel ready?

Yes

Really??

Yes?

Excellent

Yes

You'll be great

Yes

Are you okay?

No

Talk to me?

I don't know

You're good at this, Remus

You're going to do it well

Yeah

I believe it.

I know you do

I'll tell you I told you so tomorrow

I don't doubt that

It's going to be good

Yeah

What's the subject? What kind of history?

Everything

Everything.

Yes

Primordial to modern government.

Probably just to ww2

Better

And nothing too in depth

Much better

I'm not worried about not knowing how to help, I'm worried about not being liked

Which, wow, sounds pathetic

Not pathetic, just unlikely

You're the most likable person I know

And that's saying a lot, I have very likable friends

That can't be true

It is though

Okay

Just be your nerdy self

Not sure I know how to be anything else

Then she'll like you

Just need her to be okay with me teaching her

She will be

Hopefully

Will be

I'm sorry we keep talking about this

I'm not???

I feel annoying. You've reassured me a thousand times already

And I'll do it a thousand more if it helps

Thanks

Anything

Yesssss

I'm still saving you the chocolate here

Mmm good

Fear not

I won't

Tell me something interesting

Hmm

12% of sighted people dream only in black and white

What???? Why is that a thing???

I'd guess exposure to black and white media? Though I think it's often that it's not that it's black and white, but the colour of something just isn't specified because it's not important

That is fascinating

Well you wanted something interesting

You delivered

Your turn

The skin on the back of your elbows is one of the least sensitive areas on your body, and because of where it is, if you were to stand being someone and very carefully lick their elbow, they frequently will not notice until something else brings it to their attention.

Have you tested this?

Frequently

Whenever James is distracted and my face is at his elbow level

Wormy and I had a competition one year to see who could to it to him more

Did you win

By the OFFICIAL RULES yes

Ahh, you lost

No?????

But yes, right?

No!

Aha..

The rules clearly stated JAMES' elbows

Suuure

They did. But Wormy had to get crafty and they let him have the extra points for creativity

And so you lost

In the eyes of some people.

All but you?

Yes.

Aww, I'll take your side

Really???

No

Hmph

Yes, really. Pouty.

Well I wasn't about to go putting my tongue on anyone else

Wormy got six hundred points for the headmaster's elbow

Oh wow

Yup

I'm still on your side, but I'd give him some points too

H m p h

What was the score before that?

I SHOULD HAVE won by twelve

Not my question, I want to know how many times James had his elbow licked

Oh, upwards of sixty, and that's just the ones he didn't catch

Amazing

His elbow is the official Most Licked part of his body.

Wow

We're good friends

Clearly

We know

Good

Know what's weird?

What?

That living with Lily isn't weird.

I didn't expect it to be, but I expected to have to adjust at least a little bit, but no

You know what's weird?

What?

That you answer my questions before I ask them. I was about to send 'Did you expect it to be?'

It's a good weird

Well it

Just seemed like you wouldn't just let it sit, you'd want to know

I would

Made sense

Mhm

Because you know me

I feel like I do

Better than most

I like it

Me too

Did you eat yet?

No, ice cream was just a pre-dinner dessert

Oooof course

Why?

We're just doing that now

Making or eating?

About to eat

What?

A rice thing Lily made

Enjoy

It smells like I will

Good

When are we going to cook again?

Do you have work tomorrow?

I do not

We could make lunch

Oooh okay, what?

Something easy

I picked last time

Not really, you were already making it

Still

Lasagna?

Yeeeeees

Okay, I can do that

Yes yes yes

Okay. Lasagna.

Tomorrow

I'll text you when I get home?

Yes

Okay



Sirius?

Nooooo

My 'going to eat dinner' text never went through

Oh okay. I was getting worried

I'm sorry

It's okay

Okay

Got caught up talking

Anything nice?

Mhm

I don't get to know?

You came up

Oh?

Mhm a bit

Tell me?

We just talked a lot about Friday and you being here and ways to make you comfortable

Okay

James has stopped calling you Boyfriend and has begin calling you HIS best friend

"Where are you meeting my best friend when he gets here?" "Did you ask my best friend about snack preferences?" "Do you think my best friend would like this?"

Ummm I don't know what he's talking about, I didn't get any friendship bracelets from him

If I tell him that, there will certainly be one here waiting for you by Friday

There better be

You've got it

Is there a reason you got demoted?

Dunno

Hm

I asked him to not call you the other thing anymore, so I think he just needed a new name that still conveys your importance to us.

Oh

Okay

Yeah

The rice thing was good?

Soooooo good

She won't tell me what was in it, so I live in fear, but it was good

Good

You?

Had pasta

Good?

Very.

Lots of parmesan

Could you still taste the pasta under it?

A little

I'll allow it

How kind

You're welcome

Questions?

Yes

Why did you ask James that?

Ask him what, not to call you that?

Yeah

I dunno

Okay

It didn't bother me until recently

It's James, I know he doesn't mean to do it with any kind of mean spirit, but it started to feel kind of mocking

Okay

Okay?

Yeah, okay

It didn't bother you at all?

No

Okay

But then again I didn't hear it that often

True

I overreacted, I think

No. If it didn't feel okay, it was good that you said something

Dunno

I do

My turn?

Yes

Do you prefer stripes or polka dots?

Polka dots

Noted

Collecting info to know how to best kiss my arse?

I'm calling it seduction, but sure

Okay, go ahead and woo me with polka dots

Maybe I will

Maybe you should

Maybe I'll try

Cute

Is there such thing as a cute seductress?

Well clearly there is

True

Do you want to call?

Yes

"..."

"Do you want to stay quiet tonight? Say nothing if 'yes'."

"Thought I did, but now I'm not sure."

"We can if you still do. I just thought of a question I should have asked."

"Yes?"

"That time I told you you don't make me feel the way other boys make me feel?"

"...Yeah?"

"I need you to know that I meant it the way I mean James feels different and Peter feels different when they say things like that about me. It's different because it means something different coming from You. Not because you are separate from the boy category in my mind."

"..."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up, maybe this was just pointless insult, I don't know. Forget I said it, I'm sorry."

"No just give me a moment."

"Okay."

"..."

"..."

"Sorry. Lump in throat."

"Oh fuck me, I really am sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

"No... Thank you for saying it.'

"It was bad then?"

"Wasn't great. I mean I knew that's not what you- but it still… I don't know."

"I'm sorry I wasn't clear about it. I didn't even think about it until later. But then I thought, and I know what hearing that would make me think and-  I would never mean anything like that. My question is, can I try it again?"

"Yeah. Yes."

"Okay. Okay. Moony. Most of my experiences have led me to feel uncomfortable whenever someone speaks to or about me in any sexual manner. The few exceptions are my friends and I am pleasantly surprised at how quickly and completely you fit into that group for me."

"It's a good group."

"I'm very picky."

"It's nice to be picked."

"I really like feeling comfortable with you."

"I'm glad you do."

"Thanks for letting me explain."

"Of course."

"And for talking."

"I think it's my favourite thing."

"Oh?"

"Not in general. To you."

"Even like this?"

"Yeah."

"Mine too."

"Hey, Sirius?"

"Mhm?"

"Two and a half days."

"Shi-..."

"Sirius?"

"Ow, hit wall, phone fell, much ouch."

"Well that was silly."

"I knew that. It shouldn't be surprising."

"You alright?"

"Yes. Very."

"You sure?"

"Yes. Two and a half."

"Two and a half."

"And then..."

"And then breakfast."

"It's about time."

"...Right."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Did I say something else?"

"I wasn't ready before."

"Oh I didn't- Okay. Okay. I wasn't either. And I wasn't sitting here waiting for you to be ready. But now that I think we both are? It seems like a long time coming. I've seen your face once and I miss it."

"Soon."

"Two and a half days."

"Yeah."

"Do you think you are?"

"What, ready? Yes. So ready."

"Okay. That's very good."

"It is."

"Should we sleep?"

"Probably."

"Good plan."

"Goodnight."

"Sweet dreams."

"You too."

"Okay."

"Do you need to have the last word?"

"No."

"Okay."

"Just don't want to stop."

"Then you keep talking and I'm gonna sleep."

"But that's not the part I like."

"Need sleep."

"Yeah, I know."

"We can talk while we cook."

"Oh, we can?"

"Don't see why not."

"Okay. Only if you want to, you can still change your mind."

"That's always."

"Always always."

"I know."

"Okay. G'night Moony."

"Goodnight, Padfoot."

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"I just like it."

"Wasn't sure if it was okay at the start, but you never said anything."

"It's incredibly okay. It's the most okay."

"Okay. Good. Goodnight, Padfoot."

"Goodnight, Moony. For real this time."

Chapter Text

ewww why is it so early

Because you woke up in the morning?

no thank you

Then why are you awake?

 

Rude

 

Good morning

Good afternoon to you too

It's not!

Nearly

Nu uh

Pretty close

Still almost an hour!

That is not helping your case

I'm pretty sure it is? It's not afternoon

I demand a different greeting

Alright.

Good gracious, you're getting up late, are you ill???

Hey!!

Good morning, how are you?

Well rested.

Very good

How are you?

Well

Just got back from shopping for ingredients

Oh, a productive morning, gross

More than that, James and I went running really early and I feel so good from that

Why do I like you

Because the running is about being free and alive and nothing else

No, that's why you like running

Well you tell me then

I guesssssss it's because you're amazing

True enough

Tea?

Give me my options? I need an update

Green, black, black with peaches, peach, cherry, apple, chamomile, mint, cranberry, plum, elderflower, etc, etc

Plum

Hmm okay

Yesss

Hmm

Why hmm?

Not sure plum is sweet enough

Cherry, then?

Nah, it's fine

Cherry tomorrow

Okay

Enjoy

Thank you

But of course

Hmmm

Now what???

Wondering what I should have on toast

Calves liver

What

Just pick a jam

Ok

Which are you going with?

Plum

Matching, I like it

Mhm

I approve

It's good

Good!

Mhm

And then?

Don't want to think about that yet

Okay

We're supposed to meet at 1

Oh?

Yeah

Okay, not thinking about it, got it

Thank you

No problem

I'm going to keep working on that painting from the other day

Oooh, good

Yesss

Is it gonna be finished by Friday, two days from now, the day we see each other?

In approximately forty seven hours, two terrestrial turns around the sun, on the day which we will meet, it should probably be finished. Yes.

Will I get to see it?

Maybe

Okay

If it is done, yes

And I still don't get to know what it is?

I don't think so

Okay

Is it?

It is.

Okay

Thank you

You never have to show or tell me anything you don't want to (yet), for whatever reason

Okay

I mean I know, but it's good to know it again

I get it

Okay, I know polka dots over stripes

What about cotton or silk?

Cotton

Crispy or mushy?

Depends on what

Hmph

Sparkly or iridescent?

Iridescent

Fluffy or furry?

Fluffy.

Aquatic or astronomical?

Aquatic

Woodland or seaside?

Seaside

Classical or jazz?

Jazz

Gold or silver?

Gold.

Word games or strategy games?

Strategy

Mystery or romance?

Romance

Spikes or horns?

Uh. Horns, I guess?

Castle or cottage?

Cottage

Fire or frost?

Fire

Obviously

For you

Straight or curly?

Curly

Boxers or briefs?

Boxer briefs

Cheat

Spaghetti or penne?

Spaghetti

Oak or maple?

Oak

Tuesdays or Thursdays?

Thursdays

Petals or leaves?

I'm offended you'd even ask that

Answerrrr

Ugh

Leaves

Sunrise or sunset?

Sunrise.

Wrists or necks?

Necks

Saxophone or trumpet?

Saxophone

Okay thank you

You're welcome

Your test results will be posted in three to six weeks

That late??

Yes, there's a thorough analysis for it to go through

Damn

What can you do

Bribe the person analysing it?

This is possibly true

Too bad I don’t have anything of value to bribe you with

Tell me you'll come visit me in two days

I'll come visit you in two days

Oh look, your test results are in

Looks like you're Very Cute

Was there a higher possible score?

Nope you aced it

Sweet

Mhm you may claim your prize on Friday

Oh, oh, what's my prize??

I can't just tell you

Yes you can

Noooooooo

Yeees

Nope

:(

Oh no, no sad face

:(

Noooooooo

:(

You win the painting if it's finished

Oh

Is that an okay prize?

That is very okay

I was expecting like a cookie or something

Well I don't have any cookies right now but I do have this

I suppose I'll accept that then

Okay

Thank you

No need for thanks, you passed the test

Okay

How about thanks for distracting me?

Oh, that I'll take credit for, sure

You're welcome

I should be going. I'll tell you when I'm back so that we can cook?

Yes!

This is all very domestic

Oh

Have a good time at tutoring, Darling, don't forget to stay hydrated. I've made you a sandwich for lunch but since you're not here I'm probably just going to eat it. You're going to do just fine. I'll be here waiting for you to cook with me when you get home. Off you go

Thank you, honey

Kisses


 

Hi

How'd it go???????

Okay once I stopped thinking about your kisses

Oh?

We're meeting again tomorrow before I leave

That's good!

Yes

And you were able to help?

I was

Can I do it?

Do what?

Say the thing

Ughhh, yes, you can say the thing

I TOOOOOOOLD YOU SOOOOO

Yeah yeah

I'm very happy I was right

Me too. I really enjoyed it.

That's really really great

Yes

What is the person like?

Nice. Chatty. With a shite memory

That's where you come in

Yep

To save the day

Sure

Yes

I'm hungry

Eat?

...

Well it'll be awhile before our food is ready

… Are you saying I should eat while I cook lunch?

Before. I will wait.

No no don't try to get out of it now, you're supporting pre-lunch

I will mock your weird and horrifying food habits until I die, but I will never be comfortable with you going hungry because of that.

That's almost nice

Sounds about right

Okay okay, per your request, I will eat

You're so gracious

I know I know

What are you having?

Grilled cheese

Yum

I highly recommend

I'm saving myself

For marriage?

For lasagna, but close

We can start if you want

I'm ready when you are

Putting water on to boil as we speak

Okay, same

Do you want to call?

Yes

"..."

"Not talking?"

"Sorry, was still chewing. How do you imagine we'd cook without talking?"

"Well I would still talk. I'd just boss you around the whole time."

"Like I'd listen."

"I'd keep an ear out for your quiet scoffing."

"I choose to scoff louder today."

"Then I'll start with this: control yourself with the cheese, will you?"

"Never."

"Let the record show I tried."

"The record doesn't care."

"That's really rude!"

"Oops."

"Hmph."

"Thank you, now I can imagine it better when you text it."

"...I'm sticking my tongue out at you."

"Mmm."

"No not 'mmm'."

"Sounds 'mmm'."

"You sound 'mmm'. Is your water boiling yet?"

"About to."

"Mine’s going in."

"Nooo, wait for me!"

"Waiting, waiting!"

"Thank you."

"No problem, just tell me when."

"Now."

"Okay."

"And now we...?"

"Prep everything else. What are you using for sauce?"

"Um."

"Yes?"

"I don't know?"

"Oooookay. Please tell me what ingredients you have out in front of you."

"Mince and cheese."

"Remus. Your plan was to make lasagna with beef, cheese, and pasta sheets?"

"Say my name again."

"Say your name again?"

"Yeah."

"Remus."

"Thank you. And no, my plan was for you to tell me what to do."

"You're quite welcome. Okay, what tomato product do you have in the house?"

"There's tomatoes in the garden."

"You're going to make fresh tomato sauce out of tomatoes you haven't picked yet, and we started with boiling water for pasta?"

"Yes?"

"Oh M- okay. Aaaaalright. Please go pluck your tomatoes while I sit here and pray you AT LEAST have garlic and some fresh herbs."

"We always have garlic and herbs."

"Don't say things like they're obvious right now, are you getting the tomatoes?"

"..."

"Moony?"

"..."

"Remus, please?"

"..."

"Okay. He went to get the tomatoes or something, he's still there. Shite."

"..."

"Please come back, please come back."

"I got six, is that enough?"

"Fuck."

"Um."

"S-stir your pasta before it sticks. Six should be f-fine."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing I'm-m fine."

"Sirius."

"I am. I am. You- I knew you were just... In the garden or whatever. You weren't even gone that long. But you didn't say."

"Oh, shite. Sorry, I just- You said to get tomatoes, so I did, and I figured I'd need both hands to carry them."

"I know, I know, I know."

"Sorry."

"Please don't be, you didn't do anything wrong at all."

"I stirred the pasta."

"Okay. Chop up a few cloves of garlic and some of those herbs. Basil, thyme, rosemary, parsley, whatever."

"It's- okay."

"What?"

"Seasoning is not whatever. Putting you on speaker, can you still hear me okay?"

"Yes I can. I'm trying to do this in Remus-speak, without measurements."

"Awww, so considerate."

"I know I am, drain your pasta if it's ready, mine is."

"So much woooork."

"You've not even gotten to blanching the tomatoes yet, just wait."

"What are you using?"

"Sauce Lily made a while ago."

"Unfair!"

"Very fair, who tries to make lasagna without a prepared sauce?"

"How was I supposed to know?!"

"What did you think was going to happen?!"

"Lasagna."

"Yours will be better anyway, with fresh sauce."

"My plan all along."

"You're so clever."

"I know."

"Good. Tell me when everything's chopped."

"..."

"Well, you don't have to stop talking until then."

"I'm focusing."

"Okay, you can do that."

"..."

"Should I be quiet too?"

"No."

"Okay, then I'm just going to talk about things. Pete's going back to visit his parents soon. Not sure whether we're going or not. We always want to go with him, but he said he'd like to go himself one day soon, so this might be that."

"Oh, okay."

"I don't like it. He's comfortable on his own like that, that's why he chose not to live with us. Maybe it's just because I'm SO dependent, but it worries me."

"If he thinks he'll be okay..."

"Yeah. Yeah, we won't stop him. We'll support him from here. Just doesn't feel like enough."

"I get that."

"James is even worse than I am about it, though. Pretty sure he won't sleep the entire time Pete's away."

"Well that's not good."

"That's James."

"All chopped."

"Okay, you can reuse the pot from the pasta if you want, but you need to get more water boiling for your tomatoes

"Can't I just sort of...mash them up?"

"If you want tomatoe skin in your sauce."

"Sure, that sounds fine."

"You're unbelievable."

"I'm gonna mash them."

"You do you, Moons."

"How thick should it be?"

"Thick enough to be tomato sauce, not juice, but thin enough to spread over the pasta easily."

"Helpful."

"NOW you want precise instructions?"

Shhh, now what?"

"Sauce pan, olive oil, garlic, herbs, medium heat, go."

"Going."

"Hey Remus?"

"Yeah?"

"I still really like you."

"I still really like you, too, Sirius."

"Okay, just making sure."

"I'm gonna add the tomatoes now?"

"Yes, and water."

"Let me guess, then I have to stir?"

"So clever."

"I'm gonna continue to ignore that tone."

"Go right ahead, Pumpkin."

"Can I do anything else while it's stirring?"

"The next thing is that the mince has to go in."

"How much?"

"Does it matter how much I say?"

"I like to know what the recommended amount is, so I know by how much I don't follow it."

"Try a litre."

"I need grams."

"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you? A thousand."

"So would you say a kilo?"

"Yes. Yes, I would. I am seconds away from hanging up on you."

"You wouldn't."

"No, I wouldn't."

"Hey I think we boiled the pasta too soon, though."

"MOONY!"

"Bad planning, Pads."

"Why. Why do I like you so damn much?"

"No idea, I'm trying not to question it."

"Probably for the best."

"Mm. How long is this gonna take?"

"Get it to a boil and let it sit for a few minutes, then add the mince."

"Hmm okay, still enough time to go to the bathroom then. Be right back."

"Be quick."

"..."

"Out here in the fields, I fight for my meals, I get my back into my living, I don't need to fight, to prove I'm right, I don't need to be-"

"Forgiven."

"Welcome back."

"Thank you, thank you."

"Not boiling yet?"

"Just adding the meat."

"Oh, I'll do that too then."

"To your unfair sauce."

"My better-thought-out sauce, yes."

"Not even yours."

"I consider it delegated."

"Mmhm."

"I'm talented like that."

"Hah."

"I am now very carefully pulling my pasta sheets apart to make sure they don't stick permanently."

"Didn't you put oil in your water?"

"Yes, but still, they've been sitting for awhile."

"Again, don't know why you thought it was a good idea to cook them that early."

"You're the worst."

"Awww, I love you too."

"That-t that's beside the point."

"Is the first layer pasta or sauce?"

"Pasta."

"Oops."

"Okay sure, sauce, then. That. Makes sense."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm taking it out."

"Your upside down lasagna would probably be delicious."

"Most likely."

"Your messy one will be too."

"Who says it's gonna be messy?!"

Were you going to wash the dish after you're done scraping the sauce out? Or just start laying noodles?

"Start laying pasta, obviously."

"Messy Moony."

"Never denied it."

"Uh huh."

"It smells delicious, just so you know."

"Mmm, good."

"Mhm."

"Does here too, but very likely less. Nothing like the fresh garlic in oil smell."

"Well."

"Yes yes, I know, I'm cheating."

"Oh, I was gonna fight you that there's better smells than that, but yes, that too."

"Oh, go on then."

"Onions in oil, cookies just out of the oven, forest strawberries."

"Mhmm, all good smells."

"All better smells."

"You forgot my hair."

"Haven't had the pleasure yet."

"But you will."

"Looking forward to it. Should I preheat the oven?"

"Oh yes, do that."

"Pretty lousy instructions today."

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be distracted today."

"Hey, no. Just joking. I'll stop."

"I didn't even remember to preheat mine."

"Good, means they can go in at the same time."

"Okay. Next time would you like my carefully prepared and measured instructions again?"

"I'd love to ignore them."

"Of course."

"It's cute that you try."

"How does your mother live in the same house with you?"

"She gave up on me long ago."

"Tragically I still have hope you'll turn out okay."

"You'll lose it soon, don't worry."

"I dunno, I'm dreadfully optimistic."

"Cheese cheese cheese cheese."

"Aaaaaaand I've lost you."

"Cheese cheese cheese."

"Gone from this world."

"Cheesy cheese."

"Try to be more adorable, I bet you can't."

"Cheeeeese."

"Uh huh. Save some for the next layer."

"Oh."

"Remuuuuuuus."

"I didn't know it could be put between layers?? I just put it all on top!"

"Oh, love."

"WELL HOW WAS I- ...supposed to know."

"Even if you've never made it before, you have EATEN lasagna before, haven't you?"

"Yes, but I didn't pay attention to it."

"So what does yours look like now?"

"Like a pile of pasta and cheese."

"Did you put sauce on?"

"I'm not a complete disaster."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Hey!"

"Well?!"

"Yes I'm sure!"

"Alright, alright."

"No faith in me."

"You know that's not true."

"Do I?"

"You should."

"Mine's going in."

"Mine too."

"Excellent."

"And now we wait."

"And now we wait."

"And hopefully clean."

"Ughhhh."

"Yes, there's that."

"Later."

"Because you're so busy now?"

"Yes."

"Doing???"

"Sitting down and talking to you."

"Well I'm multitasking."

"Making me look bad."

"Impossible."

"Debatable."

"I'll take that debate, and I will win it."

"Present your case."

"You are adorable and quite hot and no amount of anything I could do would ever be enough to make you look bad."

"Nonsense."

"Great argument."

"Hard to argue when you call me quite hot."

"You ARE quite hot."

"Sure, sure."

"But it's better that you don't argue it anyway."

"Yeah, yeah. How long is this gonna take?"

"Check it in half an hour. It'll probably be longer, but check it then."

"Ughhhhhh that's so looooong."

"Just enough time for you to tell me a really good story."

"I don't have any good stories."

"An interesting one then."

"Also no."

"Make something uuuuup."

"There once was a star named Sirius, and- pronouns today?"

"He."

"There once was a star named Sirius, and he failed to inform his friend that lasagnas take long to cook, and his friend starved to death. The end."

"To death?! You just ate a grilled cheese!"

"That was ages ago."

"That was like half an hour ago."

"Aaaaages."

"Amazing."

"It doesn't even make any sense that it takes that long, it's all basically cooked already."

"You need to let the magic happen."

"Sure, sure, magic."

"Mhmm, how else do you explain all those ingredients becoming delicious lasagna?"

"My work plus heat plus time."

"Cooking is as close to magic as most people get."

"I'm not most people."

"And what do you think is magic?"

"Witchcraft and wizardry."

"Oh. Well. H-hard to argue with that."

"What do you think it is?"

"Lasagna."

"Which is stiiiiiill not done."

"Summer or winter?"

"Spring."

"Was that one of the options?!"

"Spriiiiing."

"Great, so when I ask 'spring or autumn' later, you'd better answer 'summer' or 'aquamarine' or something ELSE THAT WASN'T AN OPTION!"

"You won't know until you ask."

"You're impossible. You know that?"

"I do."

"Good."

"So, spring or winter?"

"Winter."

"Booo."

"You're not allowed to 'boo' my choices!"

"Booo!"

"You don't scare me, ghost boy."

"Why winter?"

"It's cozy."

"It's cold."

"Not if you have someone to make you not cold."

"I don't."

"It's not winter."

"No, it's spring."

"Mhm. And that means there's two whole seasons until winter. So much could happen by then."

"And if it does, maybe my opinion will change. But based on experience I have so far, it's ranked last."

"Hmph. Summer is last for me."

"I know, you said."

"Apples or bananas?"

"Hmmm. Bananas."

"Because they're so versatile like apples, sure."

"Go better with chocolate."

"Sound reasoning, alright."

"Peaches or nectarines?"

"Nectarines."

"Correct."

"Oh good, what do I win?"

"A peach."

"So mean."

"Me?? Never!"

"Nearly always."

"You can't see, but my face is sad."

"Oh. Okay but no, I want to make it happy."

"I'm not stopping you from trying."

"Less than two days."

"Just today, and tomorrow, and then-"

"And then that."

"And then that."

"Remus Remus Remus."

"Yes?"

"I'm really looking forward to meeting you."

"Me too."

"Just thought you should know."

"Really really?"

"Really really really."

"Day after tomorrow."

"Which is like no time at all."

"Very little."

"You'll be busy with tutoring and travelling."

"And you'll be busy with work and...?"

"Party organization."

"That works!"

"Exactly, so tomorrow isn't really even a day."

"Works for me."

"Me too."

"How do I know that it's done?"

"It will be all golden brown on top

"It is at the sides, I'm just gonna pretend it's done."

"Tell your mum I wasn't involved in that creation."

"Yeah yeah yeah, all on me."

"Yes please."

"It smells so gooooood."

"Hope it tastes as good."

"Me too me too me too."

"Go enjoy it, Nerd."

"Thank youuuu."

"Talk to you later."

"I really liked this."

"Me too."

"Okay. Bye. For two seconds until I text you."

"Two seconds."

"Yes."

Is your done yet?

No because I'm waiting for it to actually be done

Whateveeer

Mmmmmhm

Hey that doesn't look too bad

Stop being surprised!

You don't exactly advertise your food very well!

I told you it smelled great!

Yeah yeah yeah

Mmm

Mmmmmm

So good

Soooo good

Go make love to your lasagna in private

No thank you

Hmph

Ok

I'm glad it's good

Yep

Yep?

Yes

Okay

Do you want me to leave you alone?

No??? Should I?

No

Are you alright?

Yeah

Did I say something again?

No

Do you want Me to leave You alone for a bit?

Please dont

I will not

thanks

What happened between then and now?

dad came home

How can I be distracting?

dunno

Do you want to talk about whatever he said?

no

I'm taking mine out of the oven

golden and crispy?

Yes

i left mine

Okay

not hungry anymore

I get it

do you want to see my socks

Yes I do please

they arent fun or anything

but i made them

They look so cozy

they are

Mmm good

yea

What else?

um

i found my favourite tea filter

it's got a tiny mug on the end

Awwwww

That sounds cute

It is, it's adorable

mhm

What's your favourite way to eat chocolate?

Like ice cream or cake or just chocolate in bar form?

bar

One square at a time?

at least 2

At least?

at least two squares at a time

You never cease to amaze

At least you don't just bite in I suppose

sometimes

No

Yes

Noooooooo

mhm

I need to reevaluate our entire friendship

ok

Moony

yeah

I'm very much kidding about that

can you not do that right now?

Yes

I'm sorry

it's okay

What colour should I do my nails?

what are the options

Yes.

green

Shade?

yes

Fair enough

the one that reminds you most of forest leaves

Mmm

Okay

can you call and just be on the line while you're doing that?

Yes

"..."

"..."

 

"Pads, have you seen my wa-"

"Ssh sh sh sh sh. Quiet Moony time."

"Ohhh okay. Hello Moony, my Best Friend."

"Quiet? Moony? Time?"

"Well you're talking too!"

"Shhhhhhh!"

"Okay, but have you seen it though?"

"On the arm of the sofa."

"Thank youuu- No don't shush me, it doesn't count if it's whispering!"

"It counts!"

"Well then shhhh!"

"..."

"Can I just say one more thing?"

"Whaaaaaaaaat?"

"Okay, a few things actually; that colour looks really nice on you; you're super cute today; I don't know why it's quiet time, but Moony I love you; also I'm working on your bracelet."

"Don't touch my nails but come hug me."

"..."

"..."

"I'll come get you when it'll be time to leave."

"Thank you."

 

"Sirius?"

"Oh. Yeah Moons?"

"Thank you."

"What for?"

"All of it."

"If you say so. You're welcome."

"I'm assuming 'sorry' would go over even worse?"

"What in the world could you possibly want to apologize for?"

"Dunno. All of it."

"I will accept your thanks, save your apology for when you actually need it."

"Okay."

"How are you feeling now?"

"Heard the front door close and it got easier to breathe."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah."

"Does your mum know how bad it is?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Never told her."

"She doesn't see?"

"... Don't do that."

"Sorry."

"I have to go."

"Remus, I'm sorry."

"I'll talk to you later."

"I'm- yeah."

I won't ask anything like that again.

 

Think I'll ever stop fucking up?

Probably not

James says I don't know when to stop helping

Didn't say it like that, but that's basically what it is

Just bad timing

It's not just bad timing

I knew

I should have just stopped

You're not me.

I wanted someone to ask me questions like that so bad when I was little and no one did

But you're not me and you're not waiting for someone to save you and I'm sorry I keep treating you like that. I'm going to do better.

She can't see, because he's fine when she's around, and I don't want her to see. I want her to be happy. And he makes her happy. It's probably not fair to her, and in her place I'd want to know, but I could never bring myself to say anything. At first I was scared that she'd take his side. Then I thought he was right; if he was a good person to everyone but me, then it was clearly me who was the bad one. Now I've learned how to handle it, kind of, and I've ruined enough of her life, I'm not ruining this as well. It doesn't make sense sometimes, but they're happy together. I don't know. It's not that simple. Or maybe I'm still hoping he'll change.

I understand

None of it is her fault.

I know it's not

I don't blame her for anything and I don't want you to

[I don't, that's not what I meant by it at all

It's how it sounded

I was just trying to understand

She seems to know you so well

Haven't you noticed how I'm great at hiding things

Are you?

Have to be

You deserve something else

Do I?

Yes

You should have a place where you have no secrets, nothing to worry about hiding

Sure

I'll stop

Thank you for talking to me about it

Sorry I left

You're allowed to do that

I don't like it

Then don't, unless you have to

Don't know how to deal with it sometimes

You can try whatever you need to

But I don't know what I need sometimes

And I don't want to fight because I'm scared so I leave and then all I want to do right away is come back but I don't know how again

We should have a code word for 'it's too much and I want out but I don't want to leave'

Okay, what

What's a really random word we'd probably never use in conversation?

Rawky

What the hell

Means foggy and cold

Well now that I know that maybe I'll use it

You pick then

Nah, I like Rawky

Okay

If you do have to walk away still, though, I'll understand

Thanks

I'm not unused to it

I don't need to because of you

I need to because of me

And I'll always come back

I don't mean that in a way that should make you feel guilty, I just, I'm not being deprecating when I say I'm a lot. It includes things like that, like over-helping and pushing and things. I'm trying.

I know you'll come back

I don't want you to try to not be you

I'm still me, I'm just trying to be a me people don't need to take breaks from

I just need space sometimes. From everyone

I know

I'm okay with it

Okay

I'm at mum and dad's

I was wondering where you were going

Oh and can you tell James thank you as well?

Yes I can

Thank you.

I'm not allowed to tell you the colours of the bracelet but it's cute

Yeah?

Yes

Can't quite believe he actually made it

He's James, of course he made it

Of course

Pete and I are waiting until he's done with yours before we act all hurt he didn't make us any

Does that mean that once he makes them for you too, we'll all be matching?

Yes

That's the idea

I like it

Me too

I mean it's very lame and nerdy and uncool

But I like it

How dare you

Well it is

It's the coolest, we're the coolest

Aha, sure

We are!

Uh huh

You're one of us now, watch it

The lamest

Rude!

But true

Hmph

<3

H

M

P

H

Fiiine, pout away, I'll keep the hearts for myself next time

Noooo

I like it

<3 <3 <3

Thank you

Are you having dinner?

Will be shortly

Okay

You'd know

I'd know?

Well I'm going to tell you before I have to put the phone away temporarily

Thank you

No problem

What's for dinner?

Something that smells fantastic

Ah, food, okay

Probably, yes

Enjoy

I'm going to

I'm gonna microwave the lasagna

Yum

Should be okay

I'm going to do that now

Enjoy, I'll talk to you soon?

Yes please

Promise



 

Still around?

It got so late, we're staying here the night

I'm here

How was it?

The lasagna? Good once I put on extra cheese

Where did you even find more cheese?? I thought you must've used all of the cheese in the house

There's always more cheese

Wow

Shhh it was delicious

Good

I'm still hungry though

Of course you are

Well it's been hours

Sorry about that

It's alright, I kept busy

With?

Making exercise sheets

For tutoring?

Yeah

Professor

Tutor

Professorrrrrr

Fine, professor, whatever turns you on more

Well, definitely Professor

I'm gonna make sausages

Sure, we can pretend that's normal

It's the only thing I can find that will be quick

Sure sure

Maybe I'll just stop telling you when I eat

But then where will my healthy daily dose of shock and horror come from?

Fair point, can't have that

Thank you very much

I do what I can

Beautiful and horrifying

That's me

Hmmm partly

Yeah, just horrifying

Nope

Enjoy, if you can

I am

Gross

No??

Just sausage and ketchup?

Well we're out of bread

Your mother is a

You know what, I give up at this point

Weren't you just telling me today how you're not gonna do that?

I'm not allowed to tease, even if I don't mean it???

You didn't mean that you wouldn't give up on me? :(

Oh you are so stuck with me

I'm not giving up on you ever

That means you're stuck with my food

Fair trade

If you say so

I'll take it

Questions?

Yes

You first

Are you sleeping in your old room?

Yessss

What's it like?

Big

Basically the size of our flat

A lot of our stuff is still here

Name three that best represent early teens Sirius

Hmmm

My old school bag, my first pair of boots, long over worn and outgrown, and any of the posters on the wall that aren't of football teams or players. Okay one of them is mine.

Hmm okay, I’ll forgive that one poster

I like it here

I can imagine why

Mhmmm

Lots of red

How come?

Just lots of it

Bed, wall trim, rug, everything

Okay

It's how our dorm was as well

And you call me a nerd.

Takes one to know one

Your turn, nerd

Same question but about your room?

It's an attic room. Not that small, lots of empty floor space, just that it's mostly not empty but a mess. Teen Moony things would probably be an old typewriter that I found on the street and fixed, a now broken walkman, and a box of bookmarks.

You fixed a typewriter

And you have a whole box of bookmarks

Yes and yes

You're so

Remus

Thank you?

It's definitely a compliment

Hey, Sirius?

Yes?

I still really really like you

Oh good

I still really really like you too

Do you want to call today or not?

I want to

But I understand if you don't

As ever

I do

Okay

"Hi."

"Good evening."

"Official."

"Well I was going to say 'good night' but that seems too synonymous with 'goodbye'."

"James already asleep?"

"Right here, Best Friend."

"Yes, I think he definitely is."

"Ah, too bad."

"What!"

"I know right?"

"And I was really hoping to hear his voice again."

"It's right here!"

"Such a shame."

"Oh well."

"Well since he's definitely asleep, what are you wearing?"

"Dark blue boxers."

"Mhm mhm and? Ow!"

"Promise I didn't really hurt him. And he can't feel it anyway, he's sleeping."

"And that's it."

"Oh."

"Me- Christ."

"Backfired on you a bit?"

"Shut up, you're unconscious."

"Are your beds together or are you just in one?"

"It's a really, really big one."

"She says like she's not on top of me anyway."

"Comfy?"

"Yes."

"Very."

"You left Lily at home?"

"Yeah, no malicious reason, she just felt like staying in."

"Didn't think there was."

"Well tell that to mum then!"

"She thinks you're keeping her away on purpose?"

"Not really, but I did get an earful about not bringing her and how much they miss her."

"Awww."

"They miss her more than us."

"Doubt that's true."

"Well I miss her."

"Tell me about her."

"She's the smartest-"

"Most sarcastic."

"Purest, funniest person in the whole world."

"She's fast. Too fast. Brain fast. It's dizzying."

"Everything about her is dizzying."

"You've been with her for years, maybe you should just be checked for vertigo if she's still making you dizzy."

"She's perfect, Moony, you're going to love her."

"I don't doubt it, she's already my favourite."

"She's not making you a friendship bracelet!"

"Or talking to you every second of every day!"

"I am outraged."

"Scandalized."

"Hmph."

"You two are something else."

"Why thank you."

"We love you, too."

"Mhm. Goodnight?"

"Goodnight!"

"Okay. Sweet dreams, Pumpkin."

"You too, Sugar Plum."

"Sugar Plum???"

"Shhhhhh bedtime James, shut your face."

"Sugar Plum???"

"She insists I call her that. That or Cupcake."

"This is lies!"

"Shhh, Cupcake, sleepy time."

"Hmph."

"Hihi, Cupcake."

"Shut iiiiiiiit."

"Okay, okay."

"I mean don't, but you know what I mean."

"Night, love."

"Kiss please."

"..."

"Night night."

 

"James?"

"Mmhm?"

"Friday is really close."

"Friday is... Tomorrow."

"What, no! Is it? No. No, right? Thursday, tomorrow's Thursday."

"Nah, mate. Five after twelve. It's officially Thursday already."

"Ughhh I hate you, don't scare me like that."

"That was a fun thirty seconds though, you should see you."

"No it wasn't! And it's dark, you couldn't see me either."

"I could feel how your face looked, it was priceless, trust me."

"Not funny, James."

"You have a whole day still, relax."

"I can't relax. What if he doesn't like me?"

"Hey. Hey. Focus. There is literally nothing about you he shouldn't like. Sure, lots of things could go wrong. Him not liking you is not one of them."

"What could go wrong?!"

"Shhhhh, come back here. Nothing bad. Little things. His train could be delayed, it could rain you out of your plans, just setbacks, nothing that won't turn out for the best anyway. I promise."

"What if-"

"No. Whatever happens, you'll turn it into something good. Things will happen, it's not going to be exactly as it is in your head, but that doesn't mean it's not going to be spectacular. And you're Sirius. You can do anything. You can do this."

"I really like him."

"Oh, I know. But I also know he really likes you too."

"It's never been like this before."

"I know. Tell me about it."

"Dunno. He just feels right."

"How?"

"In every way. I don't know how to describe it... He fits."

"Feels like he does."

"I'll have to tell him soon."

"Worry about one thing at a time."

"I'm not that worried about it."

"What are you, about it?"

"A bit wary, still. You know what the law's like. But also a bit excited."

"You think he'll take it well?"

"Yeah. I do. I think he'll be a complete nerd about it."

"Think he'll want to know more than we can tell him because everything Binns ever said went in one ear and out the other?"

"Prongs. Prongs. He studies History. He'll definitely want to know everything we were supposed to learn from Binns."

"Well you're fucked there. Hah! You're going to have to learn it for him. You are going to be stuck studying for that class forever, you're doomed to it."

"Nu uh!! I'll just give him my old textbooks... If I can find them."

"You think it's endearing, don't you?"

"So very much."

"And you're not worried he'll react badly?"

"I mean yeah, there's always that chance, isn't there? But I'm more worried about him feeling like I've been lying than him not accepting magic."

"Hey Padfoot?"

"Yeah?"

"You know what that means, right?"

"No?"

"You know him."

"Oh."

"Mhm. You can confidently predict his reaction and everything. You know him."

"I like knowing him."

"It's really good."

"Feels good."

"Now tell me. Putting the fact that you're Sirius aside, do you think that the Remus you know is going to like Sirius?"

"...Yes."

"So do I."

"Thanks, Jamie."

"Anytime, love."

 

***

 

"Sirius?"

"Yea?"

"Oh. Coming back to bed?"

"No."

"What's wrong?"

"Can't sleep anymore, can't stay still."

"What are you doing?"

"Dunno. Wanna go fly again?"

"Now? Yeah, okay."

"You're the best."

"You're just lucky we're here and have the field."

"Mhm. Moony, good morning. Text me when you wake up."

 

Good morning

Oh Mgod that says 6 not 9, never mind

Nooooo come back to me

When did you get up

You don't want to know

All okay?

Yeah. Too much energy

Why don't you go running

We

Did

This morning

Nooo I was joking

And what do you mean this morning, it's morning now!

Early. Like early for me

And it was good!

Ughhhh you're impossible

I'm glad it was good I guess

Thank youu

Good morning, by the way

So. Early.

Go back to sleep?

But you said to stay

You did. I'm calm now. I can do another few hours

Okay

2

Sleep nice

 

I slept nice

Good!

Mmhm

Feel better?

I still think it's too early, but yes

What time are you tutoring?

12

And then I have a train at 3

A train here

Yes

To where I am

Close

Mhm

And then tomorrow to exactly where you are

To me

To you

Wow

Yeah.

Nervous?

More excited

Me too

The weather's supposed to be nice

Oh! Oh good, I didn't think to check

Mum just said

Thank her for me

She says you're welcome and good choice on cherry

My pleasure

Mhm

How is it?

Still brewing

Enjoy

Ughhhhh

She wants you to say you'll look after me tomorrow, because apparently I'm four years old

I'm going to look after you.

Ughhhhh

And the party's gonna be safe

I can give her the contact information of everyone attending if she'd like

It's at our flat and it's only trusted friends, minimal drinking, no other substances. It's about as safe as it can get.

Don't give her ideas

Sure, now she's calmer, like I haven't told her this before

Does she have my number at least?

She does

And the address

She can use it anytime she's anxious

No. She can use it in emergencies. Or if I don't come home for a week.

Ooh a week

Are you thinking of all that you could do with me if you kidnapped me for a week?

Yes

Care to share?

Just all of the places we could go

We could have time at the flat without there being a party to worry about

We could talk and talk and talk

You could get tired of me the second day and spend the next five wishing you were home

Mum says you sound more innocent than a puppy

I could meet Alice

Why??? I'm innocently kidnapping her only son????

Innocently, yes

Am not

Can't even be called a kidnapping

I'm Moony napping

I feel like that would happen a lot over the course of a week, Moony napping

Very likely

That wouldn't be so bad

Oh so if I'm with you I'm allowed to nap?

Yes.

Good incentive

I think so

So are you back home?

Yes, now we are

But you're gonna leave me for work soon?

Yeah, getting changed for it

Hmph

I'm sorry

Oh, no, definitely don't feel bad about it

Okay

Hate the hours I'm not talking to you though

Me too

Let's petition for less of them

Should've picked a better day for that. I'll probably still be on the train when you get out.

That's

Unwelcome

Yeah

And I should NOT skip work becaaaaause

Because it will be 40 minutes tops, and you can wait that much

Can I?

Yes

Hmph

Remember that you love your job

And that I'll be yours all day tomorrow

In person

Ok

<3

You too

Travel safe please

I will. Have fun at work.

Thank you


 

Tutoring went well. Meeting her again on Monday, and someone else called if I could help their sons with maths, so that's gonna happen. Gonna go grab some lunch now before I have to leave.

 

Lunch was sandwiches, they were alright. About to board the train now. Might nap. Hope your day's going well.



I'm so happy that everything went well!  And you have another gig!  And that you're coming now!

 

Here

Welcome!

Thank you, thank you

Hi Alice!

Alice, rudely, did not come to pick me up

Um, never mind Alice

Still alone then?

Yes

Hmph

It's alright

Don't like it

I'm used to it

That's not better

I don't mind

Is it? Do you like it better?

No

Then I repeat. Hmph.

I'll be there soon

Okay

Hey, about tomorrow, can we meet at South Kensington station?

Oh, sure?

Just closest for me

South Kensington, then

Tomorrow

Tomorrow morning

9.30

Okay.

Sirius?

Yes?

I'm here, I'm in London, this is gonna happen

If you still want it to, yes.

I want it to so badly

Me too

Tomorrow

One more sleep

Less than 16 hours

I get to hug you?

Yes

With my arms

Yes

In real life

In person.

It's so far away.

It's so close.

Not close enough

Closer than ever before

Want it to be now

Sorry

Hmph

Alice says hi back

Oh good

How is she?

Just got here

Nervous

About Alice?

No, Alice is nervous about her date tomorrow

Ooooooh good luck! She's amazing, she'll be fine, I just hope the other person's alright

She won't tell me anything about them

Well that's rude

Why???

Probably revenge for me not telling her your name

Rude. Why that also?

Didn't right away and then it became a thing

What do you call me then?

Well she calls you star boy/girl

Oh

Close enough, alright

Is it?

Yes

Okay

You don't want her to know me?

What, no

Of course I want her to know you

Okay

I never shut up about you

Yeah

Sirius.

Yeah

You are so so important to me. And I really want you two to meet. And if you want, I'll tell her right now. It's really funny when she's trying to guess, but it's definitely not worth you being upset.

No

It's fine, really. I know it's not like how it sounded in my head.

I promise it's not.

I know

Sorry

Nothing to be sorry for

Other than nervous, how is she?

A bit tired from work, but good

Good

Not too tired for hugs, so that's good

So just the right amount of tired

For a quiet night in, yes

Good?

The best

Excellent

Your party planning going well?

Too well, there's nothing left to do

Great, you can just relax then

How, with all this energy?

Have a pre-party

Go on.

You, James, Lily, Peter. Dance off.

But then who will judge????

I'll judge based on your descriptions

Hmmm okay

Yesss

 

Are you doing it?

Yes

James is first

I'd describe it as jerky but rhythmic

Song?

We're Not Gonna Take It

Hmm okay

Now Pete

Wooo Pete

Firth of Fifth, interpretive dance

Please tell me more

Honestly, I think you should see for yourself tomorrow

Ohhh okay

It's quite something

I can imagine

Me me me my turn

Good luck<3

Thank youuuu

You'll be in my pocket

The only way I'd want to dance

Heartbreaker

Me or the song?

Oh, yes both

Hmph

;)

Shush and dance

Yesss

 

Well??

Table dance and I think I should get bonus points for creative use of props and making James angry for my arse being on the table again

I'll consider it

Thank you thank you

Mhm

And Lily

Go Lily!!

Rude?????

You're the judge, you can't just ?????

Go Lilyyyy!!

HMPH

I Can See For Miles

Hair and hips

Mmm

????????????????

I think you're right, I can't judge properly

Clearly

Hmph

4 points, 3 points, 2 points, 1 point. Who would you give them to and why? Then pass the phone to the next person

4 points to Lily for not falling down while she was doing the hair swooshy thing. 3 points to Pete, for innovation. 2 to James for nearly breaking a hip.

Thank you, your vote has been noted

Hi Remus;
4 to me because mine was Definitely the most creative. 3 to Lily because she managed to be graceful and hardcore at the same time. 2 to James because, I dunno, he can keep time? 1 to Sirius for blatant sinfulness.

Best Friend, Moony, it's too hard I can't.

Have a longer think about it and give me back to Pete

Yes?

Hi, how are you?

Splendid, how are you?

I'm alright.

Was something wrong with my assessment?

Oh no, not at all, I like it a lot, I would actually like to know more about it

Which bits?

Well I find myself especially intrigued by 'blatant sinfulness'

You would, wouldn't you

I really would

You're both gross

Ok

=D

James made up his mind yet?

Maybe

Okay okay. Let's try.  

Sirius 4 because Damn. Lily 3 because DAMN. Peter 2 because wow and me 1 because everyone else deserves 4.

Thank you, I can see this was hard for you. Go treat yourself to a nice vegetable.

Thank you

You're welcome

Peter - 4, he used the space best, Sirius - 3, he stood on a table and danced like a stripper, what's not to love, I guess me - 2 and James definitely 1. Great body, terrible dancing.

Do you want to do the honours of revealing the scores?

Oooh yes!

Aww I'm a lightbulb

Thank you!!!!

Well I've been told you're really smart, and you seem like you'd light up the whole room

Awwwwwwww you're the sweetest

Getting very mixed assessments today

Sounds right, from this group

Oh they're pouting

Here have your

Sirius

Thank you

We're going to make a blanket fort in James's room and they're not allowed in.

Am I allowed in?

Yes but you have to come here

Can't, working

Working?

As Alice's fashion adviser

She's trying on outfits for tomorrow

Oooooh

Yes

Enjoy!

You enjoy pouting in your fort

I will, we're bringing snacks

Normal people snacks or James snacks?

I listed them as a positive, didn't I?

Okay, good, just checking

Yessss

Have fun

Talk to you soon?

Yes

Okay

 

We let them into the fort

Got bored without the winners?

Felt bad for them

Joke's on them anyway, we changed the password to "James and Sirius REALLY won the dance off no take backsies"

So they had to say it to get in

Wow. Mature.

Maturity is overrated

True enough

Did you pick an outfit?

Yes, a sundress

Aww cute

Very

And you?

I'm sticking with the jumper

Mhm but what kind?

Really soft

Mmm

Mhm

I'm gonna hug it

Yes you are

And you

And me

Soon

So soon

Few hours

Few hours

I should probably go to sleep

Probably should

And when I'll wake up it'll be you day

It's actually going to happen

It is.

Thank you.

Why?

I believe you.

Good.

Questions?

Yes

What's one thing you want from tomorrow that we haven't said yet?

I'm really looking forward to seeing your flat. Especially your room. It'll make imagining you better, or at least more realistic.

That will definitely happen

Promise?

I promise

Okay. Same question.

Same answer.

I'd really like to be able to picture you in my flat and in my bedroom.

It will definitely happen

I'm counting on it

Goodnight?

Don't want to call?

Alice's not sleeping yet

Okay

I'll

I will see you tomorrow

Yes. See you tomorrow.

Okay

Sweet dreams

You too

 

I can't sleep

Me neither

More nervous or more excited?

Excited. All of it is excitement

Me too

It’s so close

I know

I've tried everything, I just can't be sleepy

Wanna try listening to me breathe and Alice snore?

Yes.

Call

Chapter Text

Did you get any sleep?

I did

Your breathing is very relaxing

Yours too

Remus

I know

Mhm

It's too early, but I feel really awake

It's actual morning

It is

Is Alice up?

Not yet

Go through her things

Why?

Dunno, why not?

Respecting privacy?

Overrated

I already know everything she's got?

Damn

You have my permission to assume I need no privacy

Thank you, I'll keep that in mind

Welcome

Oh!

Yes

I love those

I've always liked them, but I like them even more now

They're me socks

So you can step on me and whatnot

I'll be gentle in my steps

I appreciate it

Tea?

Is there enough time for tea?

What does she have?

Black and green and mint

Mint

Okay

Yum

Sirius

Yes

One hour

Oooooookay

Still all excited?

Entirely.

Dressed?

Getting

Put it off as long as possible to make sure I don't have to change before I go

Smart

I have my moments

I'm gonna wake up Alice to say bye

Okay. Okay okay okay okay okay. And then. Okay. Oookay.

Yes.

Hey

Yes?

I'm really glad I texted the wrong number

Me too.

Okay. I'm going to go, I'll talk to you later, I'm meeting someone for breakfast

Fucking h

My heart just sank before I realized it’s me, you're meeting me, me me me

Remus!

Shhhh I knooooow

I will see YOU in just a bit, okay?

Okay

Yes.

Okay.

Okay



Sirius waited out in front of South Kensington Station, coaxing his hair into a messy bun and desperately trying not to check his phone every two seconds. When it vibrated he nearly threw it at a nearby pillar.

I’m here

I see you

He looked around until he spotted the curls above the other heads moving in his direction. By the time he could see Remus’s eyes and nervous smile, Sirius’s legs were shaking. By the time he had to look up in order to see his face properly, Sirius had lost most of the feeling to all of his limbs.

“Oh, so you’re still cute, then,” Remus smirked at him.

“And you’re still quite hot,” Sirius nodded.

Remus shook his head, but he never stopped smiling. He was wearing light trousers that were too big around the hips but a bit too short above the ankle, and what was possibly the most comfortable looking jumper Sirius had ever seen. Grey with flecks of colours throughout.

“About that hugging thing?”

“Yes?”

If Remus was about to request that they not hug, Sirius’s heart was about to break. He would of course do nothing that might make Remus uncomfortable, but he’d been thinking about those impossibly long arms all week.

“I would like it now, if you would.”

Sirius did not need telling twice. His arms were around Remus’s middle almost instantly. After half a second, Remus’s closed around Sirius as well.

There was hesitancy in both of them that Sirius wished he could dissolve by simply remembering how important they already were to each other. But there was also warmth. And the smell of tea-tree and wool, and something unidentifiable that vaguely reminded him of Padfoot. He decided that even with the newness, it was in the top ten hugs he’d received in his life.

When they finally pulled away and began walking, Remus asked, “So what’s for breakfast, then?”

Sirius shrugged. “I figured we’d walk around and let your nose decide. You’re the pastry-connoisseur.”

Remus was looking at Sirius as frequently as his coordination would allow him to. Sirius knew this because every time he looked up, Remus was already looking at him. “Maybe, but I trust your judgment where smell is concerned, you’re a professional with aromas, now.”

Sirius practically snorted. “Kissarse.”

Remus’s grin widened and he made sure he had Sirius’s eye before he winked .

Sirius nearly fell face first into the pavement.

He would have, if Remus’s hand hadn’t caught his wrist and pulled him upright before he could finish falling.

He righted himself, but Remus’s hand didn’t return to his side. So Sirius moved his arm back until their hands slid together and their fingers found spaces between each other.

Is this happening, is this real?

“Is this okay?” Remus asked, like he’d done it himself.

“Very okay.”

 

Sirius was adamant about keeping his fingers laced through Remus’s. He knew that partly this was because it felt good to be holding hands with someone, and good to know that there was something more in holding that hand than platonic friendship. But more than that, feeling Remus’s knuckles against his fingertips felt grounding. He could believe that Remus existed like this. Looking at him was still a bit much. A bit surreal. But he could feel him in his hands. He was real.

Whenever they passed a shop window Sirius invariably glanced over to check how they looked together and it startled him every time. He came up to not quite the full height of Remus’s shoulder. Their hands looked about as good together as they felt. Sirius’s skin seemed terribly pale against Remus’s, darker and spattered with freckles that brought Sirius’s mind clear away every time he caught sight of them. They looked like they fit. They looked natural. In the intermittent bits of reflection Sirius could spot, they looked established. Like Sirius never went walking down any street without this tall, beautiful person attached to him by the hand.

“That smells like absolute heaven,” Remus groaned when someone twenty paces ahead opened the door to a small shop and the scent of fresh baked bread wafted out with them. Sirius was momentarily caught off guard by the longing in Remus’s voice.

“Smells like breakfast?” He asked. Remus didn’t answer, he just made a beeline for the bakery door, pulling Sirius along with him.

Yes , Sirius thought at every person they passed, we’re holding hands, we’re together, me and this Remus of mine. Physically together. Look how good we look together. It was probable that no one was staring or even looking at them, but- Sirius glanced up at Remus, who happened to be licking his lips- they really should have been.

“What’ll it be?” The girl behind the counter asked.

Remus looked at him expectantly.

“Oh, I’ll just have a croissant,” he requested and reluctantly let go of Remus’s hand to slip his muggle wallet out of his bag.

“And I’ll have four.”

Sirius stared at him. “Four?!”

“I’m only peckish, really it just smells so good,” Remus shrugged.

“Four because you’re peckish?” Sirius asked, incredulous, as the girl collected five croissants into a bag and handed it to Remus.

“You think I should get a few more for later?”

“Moony.”

“Fine, fine, just the four, then.” Remus began digging around in his pocket.

“No, don’t you dare.” Sirius grabbed his fingers up before he could complete his search. “This one’s mine.”

Sirius took Remus’s hand and placed it around his waist for safe keeping while he paid the girl for the croissants. This seemed to sufficiently distract Remus for a moment.

“I’ll get lunch?” He asked, unmoving.

“Probably not, no.”

It was the wrong thing to say. Remus removed his hand and Sirius immediately felt the loss and cursed himself for it. Figuratively.

“Sirius.” Remus’s tone was almost warning.

“No, look. It’s just money. It means a hell of a lot less to me, so why not? I’m not measuring our friendship in fiscal value, are you?”

“No, but-”

“Please. It’s the same as with the phone bill. Please. Repay me all you want in socks or something. For M- For goodness sake, you’re here. You came to London for me. Let me throw money I don’t care about at food for you. Deal?”

After a moment, Remus’s eyes softened -green, green, green and brown and green green green- but he didn’t put his hand back on Sirius’s waist. He did find Sirius’s fingers again, though, now that they were unoccupied.

They sat at a table overlooking the storefront window to watch the passers by. Remus’s legs took up so much room. They slotted between Sirius’s under the table, much to his distraction. Every so often one of Remus’s knees would brush against one of his and he felt himself begin speaking louder whenever it did, to compensate for the fact that he could no longer think of whatever he’d been trying to say. They sat for awhile and invented stories about the passing pedestrians.

“So, about Regent’s,” Remus started, “Seems a bit far, right now, doesn’t it?”

Sirius shrugged. “We could take the tube?” No part of him wanted to take the tube, but he would probably light himself on fire if it meant he could accommodate Remus.

Remus’s fingers fidgeted between Sirius’s. “I dunno. That seems like a lot of people?” He said it like a question. “In a small space?”

“Alright, scratch Regent’s, then. Hyde?” Privately, Sirius was relieved. The idea of attempting to handle all those muggle machines again without Lily, whilst trying to blend in, seemed too overwhelming. She’d given him an Oyster card, but he was pretty sure it still sat on the end table next to the sofa where she’d first handed it to him. Anywhere he needed to be, he could walk, and if it was close enough, he could apparate. Apparition made Sirius quite violently ill; he could stand it if it wasn’t too terribly far, but the squeezing feeling always got to him. Usually a combination of walking and apparating got him wherever he needed to go. Who could remember to carry that little bit of plastic with them anyway, especially when one changed outfit five times a day and had a different handbag for every mood.

They agreed on Hyde Park as they left the bakery.

 

“This is perfect, you’ll see. You say animals don’t like you much? Well these are the friendliest squirrels in the world, right here, they’re going to love you.”

“They’re not, though.”

“They are.”

The squirrels did not love Remus.

They scattered from him like he had a permanent dungbomb stuck to his shoe that only squirrels could smell. Sirius seemed distressed by this.

He spotted a small group of the critters at the base of a tree and skipped over to them. Remus kept their previous walking pace steady to allow him to get closer before they scurried away. Additionally, it gave him the opportunity to ogle a bit. Why, oh why, out of all the outfits Sirius went on about choosing from, did he have to pick the one with the leather trousers? Or perhaps they all had some variation of leather trousers and Remus was doomed no matter what. He watched the curve of Sirius’s arse as he moved ahead. Remus got the feeling that Sirius could have worn a burlap sack with a hole for his head and looked just as incredible.

He caught up with Sirius at the tree.

“Know what’d be brilliant right now?” Sirius asked.

Remus folded his arms and awaited the response.

“To be a dog. Chasing squirrels, is there anything more fun for a dog? I’ll save you the trouble. No, there is not.” Sirius was eyeing the group of rodents that had slipped away into the grass.

It was one of the strangest sentiments he’d ever heard. But, he reminded himself, this was the same person who had debated the sentience of pigeons not too long ago. “You do realize you don’t actually need to be a dog to chase squirrels, correct?”

Sirius considered this. “Huh. You’re right.” And he was off. Running top speed at the squirrels, who darted in all directions around them. Remus thought he heard him growl.

Remus watched him launch himself into the grass, in his leather trousers, with his loose-fitted t-shirt bunching up around his abdomen, barking quite convincingly, and thought why do I like this nerd? But as Sirius stood and smiled at him and his heart tumbled over itself, he couldn’t for a second deny that he did.

Sirius caught back up with him and slipped his hand back into Remus’s. He tapped their fingers together playfully before slotting them through each other so smoothly, Remus had trouble remembering they’d been parted at all.

They walked and chatted. Sirius made note that he didn’t know what he should be doing with his hands now that they weren’t occupied with his mobile for the day. Remus squeezed his fingertips and told him he thought his hands were doing just fine.

When they came to the statue of Peter Pan Remus smiled and moved closer for further examination.

“Do you know him?” Sirius asked. Remus laughed, though Sirius’s tone was completely earnest.

“It’s a statue of Peter Pan,” he stated needlessly. Sirius’s expression remained blank. “No? No Robin Hood, no Snoopy, I don’t really know why I expected you to know Peter Pan. Come here.”

He led them over to the grass behind the statue and they sat, sprawled out and looking up at it while Remus told him the story as best as he could from memory. Sirius wasn’t just listening the entire time. He was engaged. He hung on every word Remus said and gasped and “oooh”-ed in all the right places, and asked questions when he didn’t understand.

When the story ended, Sirius applauded and pulled out his mobile. “I have to- do you mind? I want to call Wormy real quick and tell him this.”

“You have to call Wormtail to tell him the story of Peter Pan?”

Peter Pan, Remus, yes.”

Remus shrugged and smiled. “It’s fine with me, go right ahead.”

He watched Sirius fiddle with the press-buttons on his impossibly old phone. He scrolled through the contacts one at a time. How was this person even real?

The call to Peter took only a few moments, as Sirius was promptly laughed off the line.

“Well how was I supposed to know he already knew the story?” Sirius pouted. Remus was prepared to join Wormtail in the laughing, but Sirius’s bottom lip was puckered and the lip ring he’d been eyeing was between Sirius’s teeth. The sight was terribly distracting.

“I think it’s sweet that you called him to tell him, either way,” he said, instead of you seem to be having trouble biting your lip, can I help you with that?

They sat there in the grass and talked and talked. Sirius was the first to eventually sprawl out on his back and use his arms as a cushion to look up at the sky. Remus joined him rather quickly.

They kept talking, elbows brushing elbows. Sometimes on accident, sometimes not.

The sky was a rare, beautiful blue. The sun felt warm on his face, even if the air was on the chillier side. He closed his eyes and sank into the rhythms of Sirius’s voice, going on about the people that would be at the party that night. It came in waves of excited chatter and long, soothing prose. Ebbing and flowing.

“Oh, no you don’t.” Sirius swatted his stomach and his eyes jerked open with a start.

“What, what’d I do?”

A warm body was suddenly beside him, so close he could feel the heat, and then a head came down to rest on his upper arm, the part not tucked under his own.

“You’re falling asleep.”

“I’m comfortable. It’s what I do.”

“Not today, you don’t. Today you are mine, you can sleep when you’re dead.” The words today you are mine rolled around in Remus’s head and made him dizzy. Everyday , he thought at them.

Remus turned his head to face Sirius. He’d overestimated the distance. Sirius’s small, slightly upturned nose was mere inches from his.

“You were talking about Hestia, then?” He prompted.

Sirius looked mildly taken aback. “Oh, you were listening.”

“Of course I was listening, you were talking.”

Sirius seemed to want to say something else on the matter, but thought better of it and went back to singing all of Hestia’s praises.

 

“Does the Market seem too far away to you today, too?” Sirius asked, cutting himself off in his own conversation.

“For walking, yes. But we could take a bus, right?”

Sirius seemed not to have considered this option. “Oh, yes. Alright, a bus. About ready to go, then?”

He sat up and pulled a reluctant Remus up with him. “Yes, but only because food.”

“The great motivator, I know,” Sirius got to his feet, smiling.

“My one and only.”

Sirius’s eyes narrowed, but he didn’t disagree.

 

The first bus turned out to be unsatisfactory.

“What was wrong with that one?!” Remus asked incredulous as Sirius refused to get on the second one that came by.

“It’s not open roof!” He said it like it was obvious and logical and not at all insane. “What would even be the point?”

When a sufficiently open-air double decker finally arrived, Sirius led the way up and sat in the very first row. Bouncing with excitement. Remus couldn’t take his eyes off of him.

“I just love how the wind feels in my hair up here,” he explained, though Remus really didn’t need an excuse to enjoy Sirius’s carefree smile.

If ever he’d been worried that he wasn’t head over heels crushing on this person, he wasn’t anymore.

When the bus began moving Sirius closed his eyes and his lips fell into a perfectly peaceful smile. The moving air caught in Remus’s curls and tickled his scalp. It did feel pleasant.

“Oh! Wait,” Sirius sat upright, clearly having had an epiphany. Remus watched transfixed as Sirius tugged the tie out of his hair and let it fall around his face, down his neck, over his shoulders. He watched him sweep it all back so that it caught in the wind. There was nothing small about his smile anymore.

If Remus made it through the day alive, he’d be impressed with himself.

 

Sirius came off of the bus looking windswept and flushed. Remus was suddenly very aware that this was The Most Beautiful Person in London, and he was holding his hand. They’d switched sides because Remus’s fingers were beginning to numb on the other.

Remus’s stomach felt as empty as it had before he’d eaten all the croissants. He could smell the food from there, potent in his sensitive nose. His mouth was watering already. “Let’s goooooo,” he pulled Sirius along. He didn’t seem to mind.

Sirius got side tracked on the way to food. There was too much colour and fabric for him not to be. He had to touch everything, pulling sleeves and skirts over his wrists to check contrast and softness, occasionally commenting on one or the other.

“What do you think of this one?” He asked, pulling a sundress- bright yellow and orange tie-dye- against the lines of his body, modeling it for Remus. Remus’s throat went dry.

“I think you should get that,” he managed to choke out.

Sirius beamed and handed money to the vendor.

This occurred several times, until Sirius had two new dresses, a pair of flats, a shirt with liquid-like flowing fabric, and a bag to carry it all in. Remus was feeling weak in the knees by the end of it. He tried to attribute it to hunger, but he was beginning to be conditioned to salivate whenever Sirius asked “Does this look alright?” like one of Pavlov’s dogs.

 

When Sirius had had enough of the clothes, it seemed like food was definitely next. But then they came to a book shop. Remus stopped. He looked left to the food market and back to the shop.

“Go on, then,” Sirius sounded amused.

“I’ll only be a minute,” he promised.

 

“Forty seven minutes and thirty eight seconds.”

Remus glanced up from the table of contents he'd been skimming through in a book of poetry. Last time he’d looked up, Sirius was still leafing through a book with a vibrant pink cover and large, block lettering. “Pardon?”

“You have been browsing for forty seven minutes and, well, now it's forty six seconds.”

Guilt washed through Remus. “I'm so sorry. Has it really been that long?”

“It has, but you need to take back that apology this instant.” Sirius folded his arms stubbornly. His eyebrows were set, the skin around the piercings there dimpling.

“No, I'm wasting our time, I am sorry.” He made a mental note about the book for some other time when he had the money before closing it.

“Oh yes, because watching Moony in his natural habitat has been a real hardship for me. I may never recover from the trauma.”

Remus smiled and Sirius linked his arm through his. “Please continue.”

But Remus put the book down. “No, we can go.”

“You're not going to get anything? All that and you're not going to get anything?” Sirius asked.

“Nope. I was just browsing, really.”

Sirius looked at the book Remus was tucking back into the shelf. “If you say so.” He seemed unsatisfied by this, but they left the shop together regardless.

 

“Now food?” Remus asked on the way out.

“Yes, yes, let’s feed you. Actually, I’m a bit peckish now, too.”

They made their way to where the smell of food was coming from. How had Remus resisted this when he was here with Alice only weeks ago?

“We’re still doing the thing where we get a bunch and share?” Remus asked. Looking at the options he’d never be able to pick only a few things.

Sirius was nodding when a by-passer nearly plowed him over in his hurry. He halted immediately.

“Pardon, Sir,” the man steadied himself and apologized, “Terribly sorry about that. Sir. Sir?”

Remus had caught Sirius by the hand when he’d stumbled back. He seemed okay, but the way his eyes met Remus’s made his chest tight. There was an emptiness in them he knew very well. A forced ghost of a smile that had no place on a face that wanted to be crying.

Remus addressed the man, who had yet to walk away. “She’s alright, I’ve got her.”

The man walked away, but Remus barely noticed. His eyes were locked to Sirius’s, who was looking at him like he’d just rescued her from drowning. Her fingers squeezed his, tight but by no means uncomfortable, and she broke eye contact to continue walking.

 

They selected three items each and made their way to the canal to sit back on the ground as they had at Hyde. While they ate, they talked about Remus’s mum. Her job, her wit, her unnatural obsession with completely useless trivia facts. And they talked about Mrs. Potter and Mr. Potter, and how they were both retired and yet somehow still busy all of the time. They talked long beyond the end of all the food. Remus had at some point obtained Sirius’s hand and was tracing over the lines of her palm with his fingertips.

“Do we have to go anywhere else?” Sirius asked it like anywhere else they could go would be considered a chore.

“Not if we don’t want to.”

“Can we just stay here? This is nice.”

No part of Remus could disagree with that. “Yes, we can just stay here.” He wondered what it would be like to kiss the soft skin of Sirius’s palm.

“Wait,” Sirius stood suddenly, taking her hand with her. “Wait here.”

Remus whined internally but made no outward protest.

She ran back in the direction of the shops and he watched her go, all too aware of the way her hair bounced and swung around her, and exactly how the trousers moved around her arse while she walked.

She didn’t return for several minutes, but when she did, she carried with her a small bag. From it, as she approached, she pulled the poetry book Remus had been looking through before they’d ventured outside.

“Sirius you didn’t-”

“It’s not for you, it’s for me. Read to me.” She pushed it into his hands.

“Excuse me?”

“Please read to me.”

Remus sat up and rested his back against the wall behind him, facing the canal. He dug in the deep pocket of his trousers for his reading glasses and slid them on. Sirius made a loud coughing sound that wasn’t quite a cough.

“Alright?” He asked.

“Fine, fine,” she waved him on, breathless. “But you didn’t have those on in the shop?”

He shrugged. “These? Well, I was only browsing, then.”

She said nothing but her cheeks had gone an entertaining shade of pink.

He flipped through the book past the forward to the first poem. Sirius maneuvered herself so that she was right beside him. If she uncrossed her legs their thighs might press together.

By the second poem, her head was pressed against his upper arm and her eyes were closed.

By the fifth, her legs were stretched out in front of her. He’d been right about their thighs.

By the seventh, her phone was ringing.

She murmured an apology and pressed her forehead against his arm. It felt warm and affectionate.

“Prongs, on your life this had better be important,” she said by way of greeting.

Sirius kept her call volume at full blast. Remus could hear James as though he were on speaker phone. “I know I said I wouldn’t bother you, but pleeeeease can you come help with the party stuff? Nothing’s ready yet, getting rid of things took longer than I thought.” He vaguely wondered what the stressed ‘things’ might be, but it wasn’t so pressing that he’d push for details. While James was talking, Sirius’s fingers were tracing a scar on his arm much the same way he’d been tracing the lines on her hand earlier.

Sirius chewed her lip ring and looked up at Remus. “Would you mind heading to the flat a bit early?”

“Not at all.”

They stood together and he stretched while Sirius finished on the call with James.

 

“It’s not much,” Sirius warned before she turned the key to let them into the flat, “But welcome to home.”

The very first notable thing about the flat was that everything was littered with pastel balloons. The floor and ceiling alike were covered in them. The door opened into a single room that looked like it was trying to be a lot of rooms all at once. Off to the right there was a seating area, the sofa crammed just a bit too close to the television. There were two end tables and a chair that looked like it had never been sat in off to the side at an angle that would never let an inhabitant see the TV. It was instead piled high with what appeared to be patchwork quilts and hand-crocheted blankets.

To the left, much closer, was a bookshelf overflowing with records on the bottom four shelves, but with several ostentatiously blank spaces between books on the upper three. It made no sort of logical sense to Remus. The record player sat on an end table that matched the two in what he supposed he should call the sitting room.

Further down that way was the dining area. A round table that should seat maybe five people at most had eight chairs jammed around it. The walls were as peculiar as anything else. In some spots, there were photographs and paintings squished so close together they overlapped in a few places, but in other spots they were completely bare. It felt like things had been removed hastily. Maybe when Lily moved in, Remus reconciled, but this didn’t sit quite right either.

An archway behind the ‘sitting room’ appeared to lead to the kitchen. Remus could see a counter top littered with groceries - a decent looking amount of snacks, from what he could tell.

Two doors broke up the plain wall at the end of the room directly opposite of where Remus stood, beyond the dining room table. Remus assumed those were the bedrooms.

“Loo is through the kitchen there,” Sirius pointed as she spoke. “My room’s stage right, James’ is on the left there.”

Remus took it all in. All of the things that didn’t make sense and all of the things that made perfect sense when factoring Sirius, Lily, and James into it. He found he loved it. He walked over to the nearest painting. Something abstract but brilliantly colourful. It screamed of Sirius.

“Like I said, it’s not much. But neither of us really wanted something lavish, we’d had enough of all that, and we still do when we go home to mum and dad. And we don’t really need much space, we live on top of each other anyway. And we like the area. There’s a bakery not far from here I think you’d like, it’s the one I told you Reg went to that time-”

Remus put a hand on Sirius’s shoulder to quiet her. It worked instantly. “Padfoot, I love it, don’t worry.”

Sirius’s entire face lit up. “Okay. Well, I’m going to set up some trays in the kitchen, make yourself comfortable wherever. You can put on a record for us if you’d like.”

“If we have a little while before the party I think I’d like to take the binder off for a bit?” He didn’t ordinarily spend more than a few hours at a time out of the house, he wasn’t terribly used to wearing it for so long, and it wasn’t the correct size in the first place; he’d bought it second hand. It was starting to feel too compressive. “Your room’s on the right, you said?”

“Yes!” Sirius hurried over to the door in question and led the way inside. She immediately flopped down onto the bed to allow Remus space to register the new environment.

The bed was really most of the room. The only other furniture of note was the ornate, antique looking wardrobe and the very official looking drafting table and accompanying stool. The walls were the same there as in the rest of the flat- bare where they shouldn’t be, and overcrowded in other places. Stacks of canvasses and rolls of what must have been other drawings surrounded the table. Still, it felt like it wasn’t quite as lived in as it should have been.

“Did you hide all of the embarrassing things or something?” He asked, mostly joking.

Sirius sat up at once. “What? No? I’m not hiding anything.”

She was definitely hiding something.

“Relax, I was kidding. Can I?” He moved toward the desk but waited for Sirius to nod affirmation before he began looking through the pieces.

They were incredible. Some looked like finished work, blooming with colour and bustling with meaning. Others seemed perhaps abandoned or maybe just put off for later. There were sketches of Peter, as he remembered him from the station, and James as well. A person with Sirius’s features on a wider face with shorter hair that he assumed must be Reg. Flowers and flowers and flowers. On top of the desk there was a painting. It felt finished in an unfinished sort of way. It was just a pair of green eyes over an indiscriminate blue background that wasn’t quite finished. There was realism to them that he couldn’t explain for their abstract style.

“This is what you said I’d see?” He asked. “This is the one that’s mine for passing that test?”

She didn’t respond out loud, but when he turned around she was nodding.

“It’s beautiful.” He wanted to touch it in the worst way, but that seemed disrespectful. Instead he turned to the wardrobe. “This wasn’t what I was expecting, to be perfectly honest. All your clothes fit in here?”

Sirius cocked her head. “No? That’s just shoes and bags and things. Accessories. The walk-in’s through there.” She pointed to a door he hadn’t noticed before. He pulled it open to reveal a closet that looked about four times too large for a flat like this. It didn’t make sense. It was nearly the size of the damn bedroom.

He stepped inside and was immediately overcome with aromas. Jasmine and violet and rose, and lemon and apple and honey. It smelled like the inside of the Lush Remus had visited.

All of the clothing was organized not by type, but by colour. He pushed aside hangers, looking through some of them. New scents puffed from them with each shift. Remus thought he could quite happily live, die, and be eternally buried in this closet.

“I’ll let you keep snooping, then. I’ll be in the kitchen, come find me when you’re done.” Sirius got up off the bed and left the room with a wave.

“I’ll be right out,” Remus assured her, but kept poking through the endless apparel.

Once he felt he’d been through everything sufficiently - sufficiently enough to be able to imagine Sirius in a number of things he almost wished he hadn’t seen for the sake of his sanity - he ridded himself of his binder from under the t-shirt jumper combination he was wearing, and hung it in between two jackets in the leather subsection of the black area. Quietly, he was hoping a few hours there would make it smell like Sirius. Like leather and Lush and clean.

He ventured back into the main room and made his way to the bookshelf with all of the records on them.

The Disco Inferno album was too easy to find. It had obviously only recently been tucked back into the shelf. He arranged it carefully and waited.

Just as the first few peppy notes of Body Contact Contract blared through the flat, there was a loud, drawn out, “Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?” from the kitchen.

Remus laughed and went to join her.

Despite her protestations she, too, was laughing when he walked in. She had busied herself with putting the numerous snacks into bowls and arranging the drinks on the counter closest to the refrigerator.

“Can I help?” He asked.

She nodded to the snack bowls. “You could set those out on the table, if you’d like.”

He grabbed several bowls and did just that, but not before stuffing a fist full of crisps into his mouth.

“Charming,” she murmured as he walked away, but the effect was ruined by her smile.

It was only a few moments later that the door to the flat opened and in walked James and a stack of pizza boxes. “Home, love?” He called before he caught sight of Remus.

“Kitchen, say hi, we have company!” Sirius yelled from the other room. James looked around wildly until finally his eyes landed on Remus, who waved.

Instantly the pizza was on the sofa and James was right there in front of him.

“Best Friend! Remus! Remus Moony Lupin, welcome to London, welcome to our flat! It’s so incredible to have you here, can I hug you?”

Remus felt more than a little exposed without his binder on, but James was such a warm and comforting presence that he nodded ‘yes’ anyway and even hugged him back as the other boy’s arms engulfed him.

James Potter hugged for approximately three times the normal time length allotted to a casual embrace between acquaintances. But he’s not just an acquaintance, is he? , Remus thought.

“It really is, I’m so glad you’re here. Have you had a pleasant day so far? Has Padfoot embarrassed himself enough yet, or should I start helping?”

Remus tried to keep up. James was moving the pizza boxes from the sofa to the table, still smiling radiantly. “It’s been a wonderful day. She hasn’t embarrassed herself nearly enough, though, you should definitely help her out with that.”

“Oh, that I can do. Did she tell you she hid all the paintings she wasn’t completely proud of so that you wouldn’t see her mediocrity?”

“She did not.”

“Thanks a lot, Prongs,” Sirius hollered from the kitchen bitterly.

James hung an arm around Remus - an awkward angle as he was a bit shorter - and walked them both toward the back wall with the bedroom doors, instead of the kitchen as he’d expected. “I have something for you, is that alright?” He asked while they walked. Remus nodded. Relaxing at his side was almost too easy. It felt as though they’d been friends all their lives.

James pushed open the only visible door Remus had not explored.

James’s room was probably the exact same size and shape as Sirius’s, but his bed was pressed against a wall, and most of the area on the other side of the room was taken by indiscriminate trophies.  

Remus had expected to see football posters, or at least some football memorabilia, but here, too, there was a strange emptiness.

James plucked something off of the nightstand by his dresser. “Wrist please, Remus.” He held out his left arm. James tied a bit of braided strings around his wrist. It was red and gold and just the right size.

When he was finished putting it on, James hugged Remus once more. “Thank you for coming tonight.” He led them back out of his bedroom and into the kitchen, back to Sirius. Remus couldn’t stop feeling the light grip of the bracelet; it was snug in a very comforting way.

Sirius was taking still more snacks out of the refrigerator while sipping something from a plastic cup.

“What else should I tell him, Pads?” James asked and snatched Sirius’s drink away from her to take a few gulps of whatever she’d been drinking.

“Good things, nice things. You’re the worst wingman ever,” Sirius huffed.

“Wing man, are you trying to pick up Moony? I’m not sure I approve of this. Moony, remember your integrity. Don’t go home with strange women. Except this is the strangest one I know and you’re already in her flat, so you’ve failed all of this already, haven’t you? Are you feeling woo-ed?”

Remus blinked at both of them. “Not particularly?”

“Try harder, Padfoot,” James instructed.

“I have no idea how to do that.” Sirius grabbed her cup back from him. “Are you going to stand there, then? Remember how I came home from a lovely time at the canal to help you with this?”

“Right, right, right,” James sighed and set to helping.

While they worked, Remus stood against one of the counters and alternated between listening and yelling along with them.

About an hour into this, there was a sound at the door, and a “Knocking is for squares, I’m here!” And a few seconds later, Peter was standing in the doorway to the kitchen as well.

“I was told to bring the extra set of speakers, they’re in the other roo- Remus! You’re actually here!”

“It’s good to meet-”

“Are you a hugger, or a shaker, or a fist-bumper? Or I could just wave at you really hard from here, if you’d prefer?”

Remus considered the options and held up his arms. Peter walked into them. He had one of the most comfortable bodies Remus had ever been so close to.

“I’m not always a hugger, but you’re basically family, aren’t you?” He asked and set to helping Sirius slice vegetables.

“I suppose I am,” Remus’s face felt warm. Sirius smiled too widely at her carrots.

The four of them talked and joked and sang off-key for the next forty five minutes. Peter briefly left the room to set up the additional speakers and to change the music to “SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T MAKE ME QUITE AS NAUSEOUS” (at which point James reminded him who had purchased that record in the first place). Every once in awhile, Remus just closed his eyes and allowed himself to enjoy being in the space he was in. Feeling at ease in an environment with people who thought of him as a friend, and who he thought were his friends. Whenever James nudged his arm it felt fraternal; when Peter drew him into a topic of discussion he had yet to weigh in on, it felt inclusive. When he caught Sirius looking at him when she should have been counting skewers, it felt warm and tingly.

He thought about Sirius’s sentiment from past conversations, that he’d fit right in with them. She’d been more correct than he had believed at that point. In this kitchen, with these persons, he felt like he belonged.

Less than an hour after Peter had arrived, Lily announced her presence. Apparently shouting greetings from the doorway was a ritual.

“I have cupcakes! Mostly because I don’t trust either of you to have gotten a dessert that’s not a fruit, is Peter here?” She asked on her way to the kitchen.

“I like her,” Remus said, accidentally out loud, at the notion of cupcakes. So far there was a lot of vegetation and a lot of starchy snacks, but he had yet to see a proper sweet go out to the dining room table.

“We think she’s alright,” Peter said somberly, but he was first to hug her when she entered the room. Which was saying something, considering how quickly James was at her side once she was there.

Lily’s voice was lovely, as Sirius had forewarned, and it suited her perfectly. She had hair that was almost legitimately red, rather than the ginger one might call ‘red hair’. It was vibrant and long, and did not appear to be colour treated, though Remus really couldn’t claim to be an expert on that. She had broad shoulders and thick curves. Remus thought, eyes coming to rest on her brilliant green eyes, she seemed almost ethereal. No one should be able to radiate confidence and beauty like that just by standing there existing.

“Would you be Remus?!” She asked when no one introduced them.

Remus nodded and hugged her without thinking twice about it.

“It’s so wonderful to have a face to go with all of the stories. Sirius has tried to describe you about a hundred times but-”

“But she always winds up getting sidetracked and going on and on about curls and undercuts and then she never finishes explaining,” Peter finished for her. Everyone else, including Sirius, just nodded in the affirmative.

“Congratulations on the move-in, by the way. I have something for you, but I didn’t really have anywhere to put it today, so I was thinking I’d mail it,” he explained.

“Oh, thank you! You didn’t have to get me anything, though, really.”

“But you did? You had to bring the cupcakes to your own party?” Remus said as she hopped up on the counter next to him. He half turned so that he could speak to her.

“I had to if I wanted anything sweet at all. Pete is best for salty snacks, James is under the impression that a fruit salad is a respectable dessert option, and Sirius thinks that unsweetened tea fulfills the sweet requirement in a meal.” She swung her legs while she spoke until James insinuated himself between them, back against the counter. She put her arms around his chest over his shoulder and kissed the top of his head.

“You could’ve asked Moony to stop at a bakery,” Sirius offered, “But he’d probably have eaten all of it on the way home.”

Remus folded his arms. “I ordered as much as I knew I’d eat.”

“Four!”

“And how many did I eat?”

“FOUR!”

 

Sirius warned Remus when there were only a few minutes left until people were expected to arrive so that he could go slip his binder back on.

As he was coming back out of her bedroom, she ambushed him and hooked his arm with hers to drag him back in and shut the door behind them. They’d been alone together in this room earlier, not three hours ago. Yet this felt different. She was standing very close and she only released his arm to press the tips of their fingers together- his right hand, her left.

“Just want to check in with you, doing okay?” She asked.

Her eyes were searching his, looking for discomfort. His chest felt warm. “I’m very okay. Your friends are lovely.”

She shrugged. “They’re yours now, too. They are the best, though.”

“I’m really comfortable here. I am,” he assured her.

There was something else she wanted to ask, he could tell. She was worrying at the lip ring again and her eyes were too alive, burning with something. But she didn’t voice it. She slipped her fingers through his and let her forehead come to rest on his arm for a second, before she stood upright. “Okay. I’m going to get changed before people get here. Will you be alright out there for a few minutes? You can always just stay in here and I can get changed in the closet.”

The fact that this was a perfectly reasonable solution - that her closet was in fact big enough to just casually get dressed in - did not escape Remus. But he shook his head. “No, I’ll be fine. I want to ask Peter something, anyway.”

She checked his eyes for validity again before dropping his fingers. His mouth actually opened to protest the loss. But he closed it and found the handle to the door without looking away from her. His last glimpse of her before he slipped out was a lip bitten smile.

 

The ‘party’ turned out to be the most relaxed group event Remus had ever seen. Over the course of only ten minutes, in strolled Gideon, Fabian, Dorcas, Mary, Emmeline, Kingsley, Marlene, and Benjy. He supposed he should have expected that anyone who could be friends with the group that was Sirius, James, Peter, and Lily, should automatically qualify as Good People, but for whatever reason, each person’s individual kindness or sense of humor or calming presence struck him anew.

About half of them seemed to still be in school. The first part of the evening was mostly just people milling around catching up. Remus tried to follow about eight conversations all at once.

“Was the term really so bad?”

“The classes were fine, but the commute was the worst. Back and forth, back and forth all the time, and you know I hate ap-”

“MARY, HOW ARE YOUR PARENTS?”

Lily had yelled it from behind Remus, making him jump about twice his height in surprise.

In fact that happened several times throughout the night, and it wasn’t always Lily. There seemed to be certain conversation topics that Lily, James, Peter, and Sirius had deemed off limits. Remus just couldn’t find the correlation between any of them.

It happened when Marlene was listing her favourite bands, and when Kingsley was telling a story about when they were all in school together, and when Benjy started to talk about something that sounded an awful lot like the word ‘Quidditch’. It wasn’t the first, or even the second time he thought he’d heard it, either.

James was the one to yell that time, and Remus was about to ask Benjy to repeat themself when he caught his first really good glimpse of Sirius for the first time that evening. She’d kept the off the shoulder band-t, but had replaced the trousers with a mid-thigh length skirt and torn fishnets. There was also a noticeable addition of eyeliner that made her grey irises so intense they wiped away all memory of asking Benjy anything.

Fuck , he thought on his third once over of the person he’d been speaking to for the last month and a half, Fuck, fuck fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

“Do you have a drink?” Sirius asked.

It took him a few moments of more internal blustering to respond. “I haven’t yet.”

Sirius took his hand and led him into the somewhat quieter kitchen.

“So you’ve met everybody?” She asked, grabbing a cup and writing ‘Moony’ on it before pouring pumpkin juice. “I mean, not everybody. Two of our usual aren’t here because they finally got their lives together enough to realize they’ve been pining over each other for years. But you’ve met everyone that’s here, I mea-”

“Everyone is great.” He watched her nod and her shoulders sag a bit in relief. “Really, Sirius, relax. I really like everyone and the party is really nice.”

“It’s not too much?” She asked, handing him his cup.

“It’s really not.” She nodded again, so he added, “I do prefer this, though.”

She looked up at him and her eyes were just so grey . “This?”

“You. Just us talking. Everyone is fantastic, don’t get me wrong. Especially James and Peter and Lily. But this is what I’m here for.”

She smiled with abandon.

When they returned to the main room(s?), dancing had begun. James had paired off with the twin he was pretty sure was Gideon, Lily had the other one. Benjy and Peter were dancing about a foot apart but still having what looked like a fantastic time. Emmeline and Dorcas were taking turns twirling Mary around until she was falling from dizziness and giggling like a child.

Kingsley approached them in the doorway. “Do you dance?” He asked. Remus’s whole body tensed. He shook his head. Kingsley gave one of the warmest smiles he’d ever been granted and went to dance by himself.

“Oi, I do!” Sirius put her cup on the floor along the wall and ran off to join him.

Remus migrated toward the sofa. Marlene moved over to give him some space. “Not a dancer?” She asked without looking at him.

“Not really, no.” He turned his body toward her.

“Did you really come all this way just to see Sirius?” She was blunt. He was a bit offended by the question, but he didn’t think she meant it unkindly.

He responded with that in mind, even though she still wouldn’t look at him. “Yes, I did.”

She pulled her legs up onto the sofa and tucked them beneath her. “That’s sweet.”

“Thank you,” He tried not to stare. Clearly maintaining eye contact was not among her favourite activities.

“Didn’t mean it as a compliment.”

He couldn’t really tell what to make of Marlene.

He turned his attention back to the dancing. Lily and Probably-Fabian had ducked off to the side to stand back against a wall and chat. Her hair looked especially red next to his orange. Emmeline was pulling Mary and Dorcas off of the ‘dance floor’. She knocked the blankets off of the chair near Marlene. Remus was just wondering how she planned on fitting all three of them onto one armchair when they collapsed into a very natural, very comfortable looking cuddle pile. They made for quite a distinctive aesthetic. Emmeline with her dark skin and everywhere-locks, kissed Mary, fingers in her long, pin straight, black hair, while Mary’s fingers linked with Dorcas’s long, unnaturally pale ones. It felt almost intrusive, somehow, just to be in the presence of so much love.

“You do know we’re all still here, right?” Marlene called to them. Dorcas flipped her off and kissed Emmeline’s cheek.

Without warning, a body hopped onto the arm of the sofa right next to Remus, and two legs crossed nearly at eye level for him. Sirius pulled her skirt down around herself while she settled into her new perch.

“Would you like us to move over? There’s plenty of room.” Even as he said it he imagined simply pulling her into his lap, the way it was so easy for the girls on the chair to do.

“Nah, this is my spot anyway. And Marls likes her space.” Sirius tossed a small pillow at her. She didn’t smile, but she did give an encouraging thumbs-up.

The dancing happened sporadically throughout the rest of the night. As did most things. There were moments when there was no one at the snack table and moments where all of them were gathered around it all at once. Music had shifted from the record player to make use of Peter’s speakers, and everyone took turns picking songs. Mostly everyone talked. Sometimes coupled off, sometimes in small groups, sometimes everyone spoke all at once.

Sirius stayed close to Remus the entire time. The exceptions were two lav breaks and one failed attempt at knocking Lily off her feet while they were toasting her official welcome home.

Remus got the chance to briefly talk to everyone at least once, which would probably have been easy no matter what - everyone there was strangely easy to warm to - but was made almost effortless by Sirius’s assistance. Anytime Remus didn’t quite know how to react to something, she was already there filling the silence and bridging the conversation.

 

As per usual, people didn’t start talking about leaving until late and they didn’t actually do it for another hour or two after that. Sirius was well aware that if they hadn’t begun hinting that they should start clearing up, it wouldn’t have occurred to anyone in the first place.

Marlene hadn’t moved from her spot since the last gathering around the snack table. Peter began whining at her as the others slowly gathered their things and said their goodbyes.

“You’re in my bed, mooooooooooooove.” He laid out on the couch beside her as close as he could without touching her.

Sirius watched Peter try to get Remus to help him physically remove her. Remus refused, laughing along with Pete like they’d been friends for years. All night Remus had looked so natural there, in her home, among her friends. Everyone seemed to love him right away. How could they not?

James helped her bring in the remnants of the food into the kitchen. “Careful!” She hissed at him when he vanished several bowls of crisps and other things.

He tucked his wand away quickly. “He’s out there, we’re n-Remus!”

Remus was in the doorway. Judging on the fact that he wasn’t staring in horror or confusion, Sirius took it that he hadn’t seen the small display of magic.

“Wow, you’re quick on cleanup,” he commented.

“Comes from years of Sirius doling punishment for stray socks in the dormitory,” James explained and set to stacking bowls neatly together.

“That makes sense,” Remus shook his head.

“Everything alright?” Sirius asked. Remus looked like he had something to say that wasn’t coming out of his mouth.

Remus took a breath and didn’t meet Sirius’s eye. “Yeah, just, I think I should be going, too. Everyone else is, it’s getting late.”

Sirius’s heart sank and her breath left her lungs. Of course Remus would be leaving. That’s what one did at the end of a day visit. He’d be going back to Alice’s for the night and home in the morning. And Sirius wouldn’t be able to look at him or touch his fingers or hear his laugh, clean and clear and right there, for Merlin knew how long. “Oh. Right. Of course.”

“I’ve got this, go on,” James nodded her out of the kitchen.

By the time they got to the door, Lily and Peter were walking Marlene and Kingsley out to wish them goodnight; nearly everything in the flat had been put back in order, and the lump in Sirius’s throat was causing her actual pain.

She pulled Remus’s fingers between hers once more.

“Thank you for everything today,” Remus started to say, but Sirius shook her head.

“Please don’t. No goodbyes, okay? I’ll talk to you as soon as you’re out the door. I want to call you tonight.” She stopped. Her chest felt heavy.

“Okay. No goodbyes,” Remus agreed. “But one more hug?”

That morning, she had hugged Remus with a head still fuzzy with seeing his face again. That morning her arms had rested on his warm jumper and only rested. That morning, she’d kept a bit of herself reserved.

This was different.

Her arms moved up around his neck. She had to stand on the tips of her toes to manage it, and even then he had to lean forward a bit, but once his arms were around the small of her back, it didn’t matter. He had so much arm. Locked around her they felt safe and warm and secure. His hands moved over her back and pulled her in closer. Her cheek rested against the hook of his jaw. She could feel the rise and fall of his chest against her own; smell the precise scent of his shampoo. Nothing had ever felt as good as being held by Remus.

Also unlike the hug from earlier, this one did not end unsatisfyingly early. They stood in front of the door for several long moments. Sirius was very vaguely aware of James still bustling about in the kitchen, and Lily and Peter still outside chatting with the stragglers. Every so often, Remus’s hands would draw up and down her back and she’d have to desperately convince her body not to shiver. In turn, her fingers found his curls and waded through them. He made a soft noise directly into her ear that she immediately mentally cataloged for later pondering.

When they finally did pull apart, neither of them so much as took a step back.

“I’ll talk to you soon?”

“Soon as I’m out of the building,” he assured her.

“Okay. And you owe me a knitted something next time.” She did step aside now so that he could get to the door knob.

Remus’s face lit up. “Oh, no I don’t! Here-”

He proceeded to pull the jumper he was wearing off of his person. The t-shirt underneath pulled up with it and his hip and stomach were briefly exposed. Not briefly enough to prevent Sirius from losing her mind, however. Her face felt incredibly warm and her heart fluttered. She filed that image away next to the noise he’d made a minute prior.

Then he was handing her the jumper.

“What?” She asked, taking it from him and running her fingers over the soft wool.

“That’s your prize, you won it.”

She carefully touched the puffy little details of the fabric. “You mean you made this?”

He nodded. “For you. It’s yours.”

“You made this for me. Thinking about me. With me on your mind. Me.” Sirius managed to say everything like it was both a statement and a skeptical interrogation.

“Yes. For you.”

Sirius hugged the jumper tight to her body. It smelled like Remus.

“Okay, I’ll text you in a minute, then.” Remus made for the door.

“Wait!”

He did. Sirius hadn’t actually gotten as far as finding an actual excuse yet. “It’s chilly out,” she invented.

Remus glanced at the door. “It is, I suppose. So?”

“So,” Sirius stalled, “So what kind of friend would I be if I just let you out there like that? No jumper. Knowing how cold you get at night. I couldn’t. Not in good conscience.”

Remus raised an eyebrow, amused. “And what do you suggest alternatively?”

“Well- if you wanted, of course - you could just stay here the night. And leave in the morning.’ Sirius bit her lip.

“I can stay here?” He clarified.

“Yes. If you want to.”

“Oh, I want to.”

“So you’ll stay?”

He considered this for about half of a second. “Yes. Just let me text Alice.”

He took out his phone, and the deep sadness that had been weighing on Sirius like a physical thing, lifted completely.

A moment later, it was settled.

 

Less than twenty minutes after that, they had said their ‘good night’s to Peter, James, and Lily, and were very much alone in Sirius’s room getting ready for bed.

Remus had borrowed a set of pyjamas from Sirius, who was wearing the same set in a different pattern. Sirius watched as he crossed the room to look over the picture of the eyes once again.

“I’ll send it to you once it’s finished,” Sirius promised.

Sirius’s pyjamas were about seventy sizes too small for Remus. There were several inches of bare ankle showing, and he kept pulling at the sleeves, though he never quite got them to cover his wrists. Sirius couldn’t decide if she preferred this over the sweater paws she’d been subjected to all day; they were both the cutest things she’d ever seen.

She spread out over her bed and stretched, her muscles all protesting from a day of walking and dancing and being generally excited.

“Like a starfish,” Remus murmured, and came to kneel beside her. The mattress dipped with his weight, and then all coherent thought was gone from Sirius, because his body was in her bed, right along the length of hers, and his face was barely a knut’s distance from her face. If she so much as shifted, their noses could touch. If she just leaned forward…

“This is the most comfortable bed I’ve ever been in,” he proclaimed, and pulled the blanket up over himself.

“M-mhm.” Sirius didn’t trust herself to respond with words. She occupied herself with turning the light off behind her, but when she rolled back over, he was just as close as before. With the lights off, unable to see him very well, some other sense overwhelmed her. It was like a physical thing - like magic rolling off of Remus and enveloping her. Or electricity, the kind in lightening, not the knock-off muggle stuff. It vibrated between them. She wondered if he felt it too.

“Sirius?” He asked. All she could think about was the spot in the dark where she knew his lips were.

“Mhm?” Words were still dangerous.

“Questions?”

Sirius’s heart leapt. He wanted to do questions with her. Even though nothing was normal, and they weren’t texting, and they were in the same bed. “Yes,” she responded before he could retract it. But he didn’t try.

“Was today as great of a day for you as it was for me?” He asked without further prompting.

“Today was possibly the best day ever. It was amazing,” Sirius sighed into her pillow. Remus’s breath on her face, making fine hairs around her temples and ears tickle her skin, was doing a good job of distracting her.

“Mmm, good. Your turn.” Remus’s voice was lower, quieter, preparing for sleep. Sirius had possibly never heard something so enticing.

“Are you still worried about messing it up?”

He thought, or maybe he’d begun settling into sleep. She pressed the tips of her toes to his bare ankle.

Remus Lupin is in my bed and I can feel him here , her heart was beating faster than it had when she’d been dancing with Kingsley.

“I’m not worried about today anymore,” he skirted her question. “There’s still plenty for me to fuck up later. But I think I didn’t do it today.”

Sirius nodded, forgetting he couldn’t see her. “Fair enough. Pick a spoon.”

“A spoon?”

“Big spoon or little spoon.” It had been a question asked by and of Sirius thousands of times by one of her friends, she hadn’t thought of it as a strange thing to ask.

“Hmm.” Again, Remus considered. “Big spoon.”

“Okay,” Sirius murmured and glanced at the space she knew was occupied by his mouth one last time before she turned over and tucked the dorsal length of her body against the front of his.

The perfection of it was almost immediate. Their bodies met so flawlessly it was like they’d been designed as negatives of one another. All of her angles fit against his angles in the most comfortable way. A long arm came around her middle. She put her own alongside it, hugging it to her.

She had never felt so at peace.  

Chapter Text

Sirius woke up to golden sunlight. This was not something that had occurred in years.

“Mwh,” she groaned and everything came slamming back into her. Remus. All day, yesterday. All day. Even bed. The brilliant comforting warmth in front of her was-

“Awake?” He asked.

“Mmm. Time is it?” She stretched as best as she could without moving her position too much. Remus’s arm was still draped over her body, but at some point in the night, she’d turned over to face him again.

“Eight o’clock.”

Her eyes flew open uncomfortably quickly. “What? How? How did I sleep that late?”

Remus just smirked.

“Go on, say it, I know you want to say it,” she sighed.

But Remus didn’t say anything snarky or sarcastic. He did something much worse instead.

“Good morning, Sleepy.” And he bent his neck down to kiss her on the cheek. Without another word, he sat up, grabbed his messy pile of yesterday’s clothes, and left the room, probably to change in the loo.

Sirius was left with an open mouth, and a burning patch of skin where his lips had touched her.

 

Peter was setting a large plate of waffles on the table when Sirius finally came out of the bedroom in dark denim trousers and a long-sleeved crop top he’d purchased with Lily earlier in the week. The waffles were definitely of her creation. They smelled too good to be made by anyone else.

“Well it’s about time,” Peter scolded, “We thought you were dead in there.”

“And yet nobody came to mourn. Or check,” she noted.

“Whoever found the body would have had to clean you up. Nobody wants that, really,” James admitted, following Lily out of the kitchen to sit at the table with Peter.

Sirius folded her arms and stuck her bottom lip out until she could feel the ring against her philtrum.

Remus came out of the kitchen, presumably from the bathroom, at that moment, took one look at Sirius, nodded to himself, and crossed the room back to Sirius’s bedroom door. “Right. Too early for all that. I’m going back to bed.”

“What?! No!” Sirius followed him back into her room. By the time she got there, Remus was laying face down, limbs spread over her entire mattress.

“Yes,” his voice was muffled by her pillow, “I do not have enough functioning brain cells at this hour to process-” Without looking up he waved in Sirius’s direction, “That.”

“If I stop pouting will you come back for breakfast?” She hopped onto the bed and settled for curling up next to his hip.

He murmured something unintelligible into the pillow.

“Didn’t catch that.”

“I said, ‘will I still be able to see that bit of sparkle on your navel?” He’d lifted his face just enough off of the pillow for him to be able to speak clearly.

“Not if I cover it up?”

Remus sat up immediately. “Nodon’tdothat!”

“Come have breakfast with us?” Sirius asked. Remus didn’t look up from her stomach until she stood up for him to follow her back into the other room.

The others had started serving themselves, but before Remus and Sirius even sat down, there were two nearly full plates in front of two of the empty seats.

Sirius flopped into the one next to James. “Thank youuu,” she said to the room at large before tucking in.

“Of course.” Even though James had a full plate of waffles in front of him, he was still sipping on his glass of green grossness. “Oh, and don't forget, Remus has a container of chocolate ice cream in the freezer with his name on it. Literally.”

Remus's face lit up. “You still have that?”

Sirius nodded, “I said it was yours.”

“Excellent.” Remus stood quickly and darted into the kitchen.

James’s eyes widened. “He's not…”

Remus came back into the room with the ice cream and a spoon and set it beside his plate.

“Oh, he is,” Sirius sighed, but she couldn't bring herself to poke fun at Remus when he looked so unabashedly delighted.

Apart from ice cream, Remus had four waffles. Nobody could figure out where he was putting it all. Through breakfast they talked about the party - how nice everyone looked, what everyone was doing these days, whether they’d all had a good time.

It was too soon when it was over. It was too soon when Remus frowned at the clock on his phone. It was too soon when he looked up and met Sirius’s eyes. Reluctance and sadness.

Sirius couldn’t keep the ache from her chest, but the separation didn’t threaten to overwhelm her as it had the previous night.

“Can I walk you there?” She asked.

A smile broke over his face, relieved and pure. She committed it to memory for later.

 

Standing at the gate where she’d seen Remus for the very first time, saying goodbye once again, was a bit surreal. But they were on the same side, now, her hands tucked securely into his.

“This isn’t forever, you know,” he assured her. “We’re going to see each other again. Soon.”

Sirius tried not to choke on her own heart, pounding in her chest. She couldn’t seem to convince herself that he wasn’t leaving her forever. She nodded.

“And I’m going to text you in about two minutes, once I’m settled into a seat.” She felt like he could read her rising anxiety on her face, and he knew just what to say.

“Promise?” She asked, uncharacteristically quiet.

“Sirius, come here.” He pulled her into a hug that felt like a calming potion. It was impossible to be worried with his arms around her. “I promise.”

She took a deep breath and pulled away. “Okay, no goodbyes, though.”

“No goodbyes. I’ll talk to you soon.” He began to walk toward his train and stopped. “I have a question...”

She folded her arms over her bare middle. “Mhm?”

He considered her and shook his head. “Nah, I’ll save it for tonight.”

“Mooooooonyyyyyyyy!” She yelled as he turned around and his long legs carried him away.

“Have a nice day, Padfooooot!”

He boarded without another word.

She shook her head at the train long after he’d disappeared.

 

Are you waving me goodbye?

Yes

But not really goodbye

Not goodbye

Okay

There's a next time

This wasn't all there is

Just a really nice start

It was, wasn't it?

It really really was

So, you made it through the whole thing. Do you think you ruined anything?

I don't

I definitely don't either

And you were definitely not too much

You can tell me if I was, though.

You really really weren't. Promise.

Okay

This time

But I'm still really relieved I wasn't, if only this time

I still can't imagine it

Sounds really stupid now, but I'm going to say it anyway

Thank you for coming

Thank you for inviting me

And meeting everyone was okay?

Yes

They're all wonderful

Well I know that

Well now you know that I agree

Should I let you be for awhile?

Only if you want

I want to keep talking

But I am on the train, so it's highly likely I'll fall asleep

That's the only reason I figured talking might not happen

It's cozy

I'm coziness spoiled for today, I can't imagine a train seat being tempting

I made it cozy

You're good at that

Mm true

Which I know now. For a fact. From personal experience.

You do

What movie should we watch? Quick before Lily and Pete kill each other

Dirty dancing

Is that what it sounds like?

No

Okay, they agree on Dirty Dancing

Enjoy

If you, Lily, and Wormy all agree on it, I can't see how I won't


Moony Moony Moony Moony Moony

 

Moooooooooooony

 

Hmph



Padfoot

Hi

Hi

How was it?

Really nice, but I'm sleepy now

You didn't sleep on the train?

I did

Oh right, you're Moony, I must've forgot

Have you never woken up after sleeping more sleepy than you were before?

Yeahhh mostly I just get grumpy

Well I'm not that now

Going to rest more?

Don't want to

Wanna fight it

I support this

Good, I need all the support I can get

How did you like the movie?

Oh!!!!

Yes?

YES

Favourite scene?

Um

A lot

I want to do the lift

Well you're tiny, and James seems strong, so

One moment please

Mhm

 

Everything hurts

Did you not pay attention to the movie?

It takes time and practice

I need a lake

And several h

Ice packs

How hard did you fall, are you okay?

I'm okay

Suddenly wishing we hadn't gone outside to try it though

Why?

Because everything hurts

And it wouldn't inside?

Well there's less concrete inside

Why. Why would you try it on concrete

Well I didn't think I was going to fall!

ookay

And in those shoes. Sure, sure

Think the shoes were the problem?

I can switch shoes

Oh god

At least put down some cushions

Hmmmmm okay

Don't want you even more hurt

I'm okay, I promise

Okay

I think I'm gonna leave the knee as is

For aesthetic, sure

Mhm

 

Did you lose the battle with sleep?

 

I just hate the not knowing so much


Moony

Shite, I'm sorry

Fell asleep

Didn't even make it to bed

Where did you land?

Armchair downstairs

Oops

Good nap?

Was alright, yeah

Any more injuries?

No lasting ones

Hm okay

Just the broken heart from missing you

I'm sorry

I survived it and I forgive you

Okay

How are you now, more sleepy? Or revitalized?

Hungry

You have two settings.

Basically, yeah

What's for food then?

Hmm, chips, maybe?

Yum

If I make two batches, that should be enough, right?

For three?

Uh

Yeah, it'll POSSIBLY be enough for just you

I haven't had anything since breakfast, okay

Stop judging

Yes but you had like six breakfasts

Did not

Pretty much

I ate what you gave me

You amaze me

Thank you

Uhhh huh

Hmph

Pouty

Shhh

Don't want to shhh

Never shhh

You'll regret that later

I won't

Might

Do you have time to call? I have a poem I want to read you

" 'do you remember the first time you were called annoying?

how your breath stopped short in your chest

the way the light drained from your eyes, though you knew your cheeks were ablaze

the way your throat tightened as you tried to form an argument that got lost on your tongue?

your eyes never left the floor that day.

you were 13.

 

you’re 20 now, and i still see the light fade from your eyes when you talk about your interests for “too long,”

apologies littering every other sentence,

words trailing off a cliff you haven’t jumped from in 7 years.

i could listen to you forever, though i know speaking for more than 3 uninterrupted minutes makes you anxious.

all i want you to know is that you deserve to be heard

for 3 minutes

for 10 minutes

for 2 hours

forever.

 

there will be people who cannot handle your grace, your beauty, your wisdom, your heart;

mostly because they can’t handle their own. but you will never be

and have never been

“too much.”' "

"..."

"Sirius?"

"Mhm."

"Alright?"

"Mnn."

"Would you like to hang up? Or just not talk for a bit?"

"Ccould you say it again?"

"I could listen to you forever; you deserve to be heard -  for 5 minutes, for 20 minutes, for 6 hours, for forever. There'll be people, arseholes, who won't be able to handle your brain, or your wisdom, or your beauty, or your talent, or your grace, or your heart, but to me, you've never been and never will be 'too much'."

"Thankyou."

"I know they're not my words, but I mean them just the same."

"That... Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"What is that?"

"Poem by Tyler Ford; read it in a poetry magazine once."

"I like it."

"Me too."

"Thank you."

"You said that already."

"Want to again."

"You're welcome."

"Did, um. Do you have your chips?"

"Haven't started making them yet."

"Do that."

"Okay."

"Can I stay on?"

"For as long as you want."

"Th- okay."

"Talking or no talking?"

"I don't care if you speak in tongues, I just want to keep hearing your voice."

"Okay then. Walking down the stairs."

"So there's stairs."

"Six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen."

"At least you take stairs one at a time?"

"When walking down, yes. One, two, three-"

"Many stairs."

"Well I was up in my room. Ten, eleven."

"Mhmmmm."

"Okay. Potatoes, potatoes, potatoes. Putting you on speaker."

"Hello Moony's house."

"..."

"It doesn't answer, it's a very rude house, Moony."

"It's where I got it from."

"It had to be somewhere and it wasn't your lovely mum."

"Potatoes are peeling."

"How are you going to do them?"

"I'll throw them in oil?"

"How big do you cut them?"

"Big enough that they're chips not fries."

"Noted."

"Cutting."

"Carefully."

"Yes."

"Good."

"Oh, should probably put the oil on."

"That would help the cooking, yes."

"Frying, smartarse."

"Oh yeah, I'M the smartarse."

"Well-"

"Anyone home?"

"In the kitchen, mum!"

"Oh Moony-mum!"

"Oh boy."

"Hi, love."

"Hey, mum. Sirius is on the phone, so shhh."

"Don't shhh, please don't shhh!"

"Oh, hello Sirius, how are you, dear?"

"Ughhhh."

"Even better now, how are you, Mrs. Lupin?"

"Oh, please, it's Hope."

"I'll try it, how are you, Hope?"

"Completely exhausted, but in a good way."

"You know what would help that, mum? If you go lie down. On the sofa. Away from here."

"You're being rude like your house, Remus. Was it a particularly rough day, Hope?"

"Our house is rude? Just terribly long, and- Remus, do you have to do that?"

"It's easier this way! And quicker."

"What is he doing? Please stop him."

"I can't watch this. Have a pleasant evening, Sirius, I hope to meet you soon in person as well."

"I hope so too! It was nice speaking with you!"

"You too, sweetie. And you come find me when you're done to tell me all about your trip, alright?"

"You know I will. Oh, hey, want me to make some for you too?"

"Thank you, love, but I already ate at work."

"Okaaay."

"Try not to start any fires."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Okay, what are you doing that's so horrifying?"

"Nothing!"

"Tell meee."

"She just doesn't like how I cut things."

"Oh no, which is?"

"Just...in a special way."

"Oh nooooo."

"It's perfectly safe."

"Doesn't sound it."

"Well it is."

"If you say so."

"I do. And in they go."

"Nice."

"Yesss."

"That sounds nice."

"The sizzling?"

"Mhmm yes."

"Very much agreed."

"Smell nice?"

"Amazing."

"Mmm good "

"Now to wait."

"I'm begging you to let them cool first, too."

"Just for like a minute."

"...Good enough."

"Hmm salt, ketchup, ketchup, barbeque sauce, mayonnaise...what am I missing?"

"One ketchup is not enough?"

"One's spicy."

"Aha."

"Oh! Vinegar!"

"One condiment per chip."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"I'd say the same to you, but I don't think you know how not to."

"Mean much? How's your knee?"

"Clean and healing, unfortunately."

"Aww, not gonna look tough."

"Exactly. Jamie made me clean it. I'm bitter."

"Thank him for me."

"Hmph!"

"I'm not gonna feel sorry for you for your wound healing nicely."

"Hmph."

"..."

"Would've done it eventually."

"Mhm."

"Hey, you know I don't mean to make light of that, right?"

"Yeah."

"I just like when being messy feels okay. Sometimes it doesn't, still. Like with my nails and sometimes with my hair. Get anxious when I'm not... In order. But then sometimes it's good, like when I'm working on the bike and I get all gross, or when I'm painting, or when I'm running with James. Those messes feel like mine and they feel okay."

"Thank you."

"Why?"

"For explaining. And sharing."

"Well, it's you."

"Still doesn't mean you have to if you ever don't want to."

"No, but mostly it means I want to."

"I'm still glad it's healing."

"But it stings."

"Get James to kiss it better. I'd do it, but I'm too far."

"Oh."

"They're doooone!"

"Noooo, let them cool!"

"Yeah yeah yeah."

"Thank you."

"You've got one minute, tell me something."

"Ummmm, okay... James has agreed to practice with me until we actually get the lift."

"Nice!"

"Yes! We're going to do it the proper way."

"Good luck."

"Thank you!"

"I'm sure you'll succeed eventually. Talk later?"

"Yes, go enjoy."

"Thank you."

"Talk later."

"Yes."



Still up?

I am

Hi

Hello again

How are things?

Sleepy

Questions?

Yes

You first

What's your favourite part of Dirty Dancing?

You can't pick one but I have to??

You've seen it more, you've had time to have feelings more than once

'I carried a watermelon.'

When

Oh, the beginning?

Of their thing, yeah, sure

Okay, I accept this

And the lake and the Sylvia and Mickey scene and when they're practising and it really tickles her and the final scene and how Emily Gilmore is so proud

Oh oh and when they practice together with Penny, when they all dance together

Yes those I like all of those

Emily Gilmore?

Oh, the actress who plays the mom, used to her from a show, and that's her character's name

Oh okay

I've narrowed my favourites down to the practicing, the love is strange part, and the last scene

Good choices

Going to have to watch this one like I've been watching The Princess Bride

Glad you like it

Very much

Okay your turn

Okay

My turn

Okay.

Yes

Would you like to go out on a date with me sometime?

What

Date

You

With me

A real one

The kind where we both are there for that reason.

Yes

A date date

Yes.

You can say no, or you can think about it, or we can pretend this never happened and I'll ask another question

I don't want to say no and I definitely don't want to pretend that it never happened.

Yes

Really really

Really yes

Yes what

Yes, I would like to go on a date with you

Can I ask you another question?

Yes

Do you ever just can't stop smiling?

Yes

I know that feeling

My heart's beating really fast as well

Mhm mhm

Maybe it's from smiling so hard

Maybe

Can I tell James

Of course

Okay thank you hang on

Hanging

 

Ok he said 'congratulations' and also 'finally' and also 'haven't you been dating for like a year?'

Slightly mean

He got meaner the longer he hugged me, right?

I don't care

He's really happy

And I'm really really happy

Are you supposed to tell that to the person who just asked you out?

Remus, I've never been asked on a date and been so, so happy about it

I'm really really happy too

I know we've talked about it, we've planned the first few, but I think I still thought you were mostly joking, or that things would be different now that we've met and maybe you wouldn't want to

I thought you might still say no. Or yes out of

Because you're too nice

I am saying yes because I really really want to go on a date with you.

We're going on a date.

We are

Oh My god, the outfit choosing process is going to be one for the records.

I might probably will definitely try, will possibly get to hold your hand

Again

Definitely.

And whatever you wear will look wonderful, as long as you'll feel comfortable

I liked doing that

A whole lot

I will

I liked it so so much

You have really nice hands

You have really nice everything

Your everything is perfect

that

I felt that in my chest

I really really like you

I really really like you too

And that's why we're going on a date

Because we like each other

Yes

You like me

You don't like my ___

You like me

I like YOU

And it feels good and safe and not like I should be careful

When

Well, operating under the assumption that it's you coming here again, I'd say that's up to you

Saturday?

This Saturday

???

Is a week too soon?

No.

Saturday.

Yes Saturday.

Please.

Okay. Saturday.

How am I supposed to sleep now?

Not sleepy anymore?

Way too excited now

Well you could call me

Yes

"Hi."

"Hello again."

"We're still talking."

"Did you think we wouldn't be?"

"Just happy it's the same."

"This is the most important to me. Is that okay? I mean even if the other stuff isn't... I still need this and want this."

"Yes. Absolutely. Definitely."

"Thank you. But Remus?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm strangely not worried that the other stuff is going to be anything but amazing."

"Sirius?"

"Yes?"

"This morning..."

"Yeah?"

"Was that okay?"

"Which part?"

"The one after you woke up."

"...I can still feel it. When I think about it. Which is a lot."

"I do too."

"It was very okay."

"You were just so..."

"Yeah?"

"So...Sirius? Warm, and soft, and sleepy, and pretty, and you were there, you were just there, next to me."

"Waking up with you was... I want to do it again."

"Well of course you do, I make you get a proper amount of sleep."

"I can't believe I slept that late."

"Eight isn't late."

"It's three hours later than usual. I haven't slept that late in years and years."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Hm."

"You must bore me that much or something."

"Hey!"

"Well, you find a better explanation!"

"I'm the world's greatest big spoon, clearly."

"Okay, that I can't argue with."

"Point for me."

"If we're counting points from yesterday, you get like five."

"We're not, you'd get too many."

"It was a really good two days."

"The best."

"Thank you."

"You too."

"I'm going to try to sleep."

"Okay. Sweet dreams."

"You too, okay?"

"Okay."

"G'night."

"Goodnight."


"Sirius?"

"..."

"Yesterday was perfect. This morning was perfect. It all felt so right, and nothing ever feels right. I don't know how you do it, but I want to keep experiencing it."

"..."

"I wish I were there right now. How am I supposed to sleep alone now that I know what it's like to hug you all night?"

"..."

"I hope I'll dream of you. Goodnight."

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