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Of Leaves and Stars

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I wonder if you keep the volume up on your phone while you sleep

And I also wonder if you're a light sleeper

So like

If I

Keep texting you

Will you

Wake up

?

?

?

Good morning

Good morning Moony

Good morning

Go away

Good morning!

Not yet

Hmph

Need another

Hour

Or four

Four?????

Mhn

You're killing me

Go be with Peter

Ugh fiiiiiine



We're watching your movie now

 

If you don't like it, don't tell me

We'll see

Okay

I'm not nervous or anything

It's a movie, why are you nervous?

I don't know, but I am

I want you to like it

It shouldn't really matter, it's just a movie, I know

But ughhh

I liked the one last night, I trust you that if you say this is so important I'll like it too

Maybe, maybe not

Shall I tell you when it's over so that I can pay strict attention?

Yes.

Okay

Have a nice "morning"

Thank you

 

We're watching it again from the beginning.

Because...

Because I'm having feelings and I'm not ready to leave these characters and this place yet

There's a book.

There is?

Yes, you should read it

If you want

It's it as good as this?

Yes

Better

Better.

Than this???

Yes, trust me

You get more background about Fezzik and Inigo and the whole thing is just

Better

Okay.

I want it.

Get it.

I'll see if Lily has it

Then you can read it in the mornings while you wait for me to wake up

Oh

That's true, isn't it

Mhm

Texting her now

I'm really happy that you like it

I love it

Thank you

Happy to share

Still nervous?

Just a tiny bit

There's one more thing I need to know your opinion on

Yes?

Westley's moustache.

Shhhhhhhh

We're not talking about that, Moony.

All of his everything else is so pretty, whyyyyyy

Why the moustache?

Oh

I'm sorry

Are you a fan of the horrible little moustache?

I hate it with every fiber of my being

Oh thank goodness

I think that's the only thing I don't like about it

That, and the almost slap, which is also the only thing that's worse in the book

Worse in the book.

Worse than him raising a hand to her just before claiming he loves her???

Yeah

He doesn't.

He does

No.

I'm sorry

And you want me to read this?

I

I know that hitting her is unforgivable and if I could change anything in any book, it would be that. And I'm conflicted about still liking their relationship so much, but I got attached long before I knew better, and I need to keep this story as a good thing. I blacked out that line and I know pretending it doesn't exist and looking the other way is right under actually doing it on the list of horrible things, but I need it, I need this story to stay good in my mind.

You don't have to read it

But what does she do? When it happens?

She starts saying that she spoke the truth, but then stops when she sees him raising his hand again

Again

It's bad, I know

I'm allowed to pretend that that's not something that happens?

I think. I think when something is bad in fiction and you know it, and you're critical about it, and you talk about it, and you acknowledge it, and you'd know to do better in real life, you should be allowed to not let it ruin it for you.

I don't want to excuse his character for it, I just want his character to be able to exist without it for me. It's literature, it's interpretive, right?

I want to read it so bad, but if it's going to be

Like that

I don't want to spend time with him

That's how I dealt with it, reimagining the character. I don't like Westley despite what he does, I like him because my Westley never does that

And he definitely doesn't have any facial hair

Does the book mention the moustache?

It does not

Okay then

You don't have to read it

I could just tell you more about the story

Or

Or I could read it to you one day and skip all the bad things, and you'd never have to know.

Oh

Just a thought

I want both.

I want to read it in the mornings before you wake up so I have a piece of you while I'm waiting for you. But also, I want you to read it to me someday.

Okay

I have your word?

You have my word.

Good

I want to.

It sounds like it could be really nice.

Lily doesn't have it, so Wormy and I are going to stop off at a place he knows before I have to head to dinner

Mm bookshop

Mm nerd

Nerd who has to go now

Tell your mum I say hello

Nah

You are under obligation, I told James good luck from you and I wanted no part of that

Fine fine fine I'll tell her

Yesssss thank you

Ugh



 

My hands are all painty

What colour?

Mostly brown

I love that feeling

Of being dirty?

Of being art

You sound like you're always art to me

Real art, the kind that means you did something

Painting a fence isn't art

It is if you do it right. But that's not important. The important bit is the long, paint covered fingers

Those are the art

Fingers that created and were created upon

It's the best art

I've just realized something

Hmm?

You're a nerd too

Am not, you take that back

You so are

I am not!

Are too

No, that's you

You too though

Not

Totally are

Hmph

Ha!

Hmmmmph

Not that grades are a good indicator of anything, but you totally got straight A’s in school, didn't you

A’s aren’t that good

Ohhh excuse me, A+ then

O’

Oh

No

I mean

Yeah okay but I never studied or anything

Yeah you seem like the type

The type?

The type who never studies and barely seems to even care but still gets better grades than people who actually try

That's never sounded more like an insult

Well I'm grumpy about it

I'm sorry

Equally impressed

I wasn't an arse about it

Well I was but I could have been much worse about it

What was your favourite subject?

That's

Tricky

One of my best subjects was like

Chemistry

But was that the one you liked best?

Hard to explain, the classes were really specific to the school

But it was like, this practical and theoretical self defense class. Not a traditional subject, I suppose

It's good that they taught that

I always thought I would do something with that

But they suggested things like law enforcement and that's not me

Officer Sirius

No thanks

Very not you

Right?

What's your favourite subject?

Definitely not chemistry

Awww, I could've helped you

I would've been forever grateful

Alas

Not sure what I could offer in return

Well obviously you'd read to me

Ohh, of course

And the rest we could work on together

I can't tell if I like working alone or if that's just what I'm used to

Moony

Padfoot

Wish I'd known you eight years ago

In an alternate universe, maybe

Oh well

I'm gonna go shower and wash all this paint off

Enjoy

Sure

Tell me when you're out?

Will do



I'm out

Well it's about damn time

I wasn't gone that long!

It felt like foreeeeeverrrrr

Aren't you at dinner?

Yes but we're not allowed in the kitchen so I'm just sitting here

Are the others not there yet?

Oh it's just James and me and his parents

Lily comes sometimes but not every time

Ah, okay

He's an only child

Well

I mean, they're basically your parents too?

Mm yeah

Do I get to know more about them now?

Yes

So Dad's family's lived in England for the last seven billion generations or something like that. His dad was a chemist for a beauty product company and he chose to rebel against that at all costs - James gets that from him. They both keep more hair than they will ever bother to manage. He likes modern jazz and do not get near him when he's got something in the record player because you WILL be swept into dancing. He's quite a good dancer, though, so no one ever really complains. He inherited an estate and comforts from his dad, but he's worked his whole life anyway. A government job. He smiles too big when you walk in the door, like he's spent every minute you were away waiting for you to come back, and he laughs at his own terrible puns. I get that from him.
Mum grew up in Bengaluru in what she calls a "modest home", but James once spent a summer with his extended family there in Karnataka and from what he says there was nothing modest about it. But she's the most REAL person you'll ever meet. We talk with her and she just gets swept into the conversation like she's one of us. She's the best cook in the entire world and I grew up with servants, so forgive me but my taste is refined. There's warm in everything she makes and I don't mean heat. She's in there now making bisi bele bhath, which is not even one of my favourites and my mouth is watering with the smell. And I should stop talking about it now because it smells soooooo good and I'm soooo hungry I'm going to bite James in a minute

They sound absolutely wonderful

They are

When did you start living with them?

I was sixteen when I got my own bed

I'd already been spending most of the holidays at James's, but it was official when

Well there was a messy exit from The House of Black, and then I never looked back

I'm really glad you got away

And had a place to go

Really really me too

But your brother stayed?

You don't have to answer anything if it's too personal

It's fine

It's you, so it's fine

I

Tried

To get him to come with me

The Potters would have taken him in, too, I know they would have

But he wouldn't come

So I left him there

Okay

I almost told you that when we were trading bad things that time

It keeps me awake a lot. It's the thing I want to take back.

Okay but you know it wasn't on you, right?

No.

Sirius

I don't think I want to talk about it anymore

Alright.

Sorry

Really don't be, you never have to talk about something you don't want to

Okay

I don't talk about him much

Ever really

Regulus, right?

Yeah.

He's younger, right, so still in school?

Yeah

Sorry, I'll stop

Thanks

My mum says hello back by the way

Awww thank you

And some other stuff about me I won't tell you

Pleeeeaaase

Nope, you didn't tell me what Lily said, I'm not gonna tell you what my mum said

If I tell you?

Maybe

Hmmmm

Probably

Hmmmmmmmmmm

Definitely

She said something about me having good taste

My mum said she likes how I smile when I talk about you

Do you do that?

Smile?

Yes

Yes

When you talk about me

Yes

Thank you

For telling me that

Mhm

Lily's also been calling you that thing James calls you. That's what she was implying I had good taste in.

Do you agree?

Well I know I have good taste in friend friends.

Obviously

But not in boyfriend friends?

No

Had a lot?

There was a period of time where I went out with a lot of guys, but I don't think I'd call any of them my boyfriends. So maybe I've never had one to complain about, anyway.

I think I have excellent taste

Yeah?

Well I've never dated anyone, but all the people I've liked were wonderful

Tell me about one?

There was this one girl about two years ago. I was in a bookshop trying to decide between two books, and she came up to me and offered her opinion, because she had read both of them. I ended up buying a third one and asking her to let me borrow the other two from her. So we agreed to both come back there next week, and then the next, and the next. It was about three months of book exchanges, and we'd leave notes in them for each other. She was incredibly bright and kind and warm and positive.

Wow

Yeah

That's

I'm waiting for that

I'm waiting for that to end with the other person liking me back

It's always me, I'm always the problem

Why

How

I'm always the one who can't manage to like the person back

Maybe they just weren't likeable

Apparently

You'll find someone

Oh that phrase

I know how it sounds, I just honestly believe it in your case

Yeah

Eating yet?

Setting the table now

I have a bag of crisps

Yum, dinner

It'll do

Not really???

It'll have to

No dinner dinner?

Nah

Well maybe mum's gonna bring something back from work, but that won't be for hours

Are they good crisps?

Ehh

Enjoy them

I'll try

You enjoy your dinner

And company

Talk soon

I'll be here.



 

Are you?

I am

Sorry it was long

It's alright

What were you up to?

Studying

As always

Exams are starting, forgive me for having to actually study unlike some people

Can I help?

No

Hmph

You can help me figure out how to convince a professor to let me take one of the exams on a different day

Oh? Why?

Can't make it next Friday

Something more important than an exam?

Hospital.

Oh okay

Sorry that was a poor question

It's fine

And you can't just tell your professor that?

They never understand why I can't just reschedule the check-up

Um???? How about your health is much much much more important???

"Then maybe this course isn't for you, Mr Lupin."

I don't even know where to begin with that

The exact quote doesn't have 'Mr' either

Okay. Now I know where to start with it.

Don't tell them. Have Alice write you a note on behalf of the hospital. Does your school have official guidelines about "emergencies"?

Can't do that

Why?

The hospital isn't

It's just not possible.

Okay

What are you going to do?

Fail

But you’re studying so hard for it, that's not fair

Life isn't fair

It's fine, it's just 30% of the final grade

No

I hate that

That's not right

It's how it is

I'm sorry

Me too

And it's not like all of them are arseholes, some are understanding

And the ones that aren't just make me want to b

I shouldn't tell you this

I want you to

This one's for the top of your nerd list

???

Just make me want to become a teacher that much more.

Go ahead, let's hear it

Do it.

Do it?

Do it, become a teacher.

I plan to

Good.

Kids need someone who understands, or is willing to try to

I think you'd be good at it

Yeah?

Yes, definitely

Thanks

I like that

That you want to change it from the inside, not dismiss it as a whole

I just want to help. And be a person I wish I had in my life

You're the best kind of person

What I am is a sleepy person

Questions?

You go first

Has it occurred to you that you'll be like. Here. In a few days?

12 isn't a few

Seems like a few

Yes it has

It's just weird

Weird.

Sorry

Didn't mean anything by it

Nothing to be sorry about, I'd just like you to explain more

Explain?

The weird feeling

Like I'll want to still be texting you, but texting you so close seems

I dunno, it shouldn't be difficult. I texted James from the kitchen while he was in the bedroom the other day

It's just different

If it's any consolation, I won't be able to text most of the day

That is the least consoling thing I've ever heard

But I kind of assumed as much

Would you rather date a werewolf or a vampire?

Give me a werewolf any day

Well most days, I guess

But that's the point, werewolves are only wolfy one day a month, right? Supposedly?

Vampires are vampires always. Then there's the whole depressing eternity thing

Werewolves are werewolves always too. They just only transform into a more clear image of the monster once a month

Suppose it depends on the lure you follow

I guess

You're a vampire fan, aren't you?

Wouldn't say I'm a fan, but at least they're human

More human than werewolves???

I will fight you

Who would you rather curl up with at the end of a long day? The frigid undead? Or a person who's maybe a bit canine most days?

They're not frigid, that's just a myth.

Many vampire friends?

Nah, just met a few once

Met any werewolves?

Have you?

Can't say I have

But you'd have no problem dating one?

Nope

Like I said, I'm a bit of a dog person anyway

I might go out and find myself a super cool werewolf boyfriend now to spite you

They're not dogs.

No, but I think I could translate my love of dogs to their wild ancestors. And thus their human counterparts.

I mean, the bottom line is I'd date either if I thought they were right for me, but superficially werewolves seem more attractive than vampires.

Okay

So your answer would be vampire?

No

????

My answer would be werewolf

Good

Then would you rather date a werewolf or a witch?

They're not mutually exclusive, you know

But witch

If you say so

I do say so

You're just saying that because of the project you're not working on in school

Why would I not want to date a witch?

Warts and child eating?

Well obviously I'd find a good witch

Obviously

Would you date a wizard?

I might

There's conditions?

Well I try to avoid doing things my birth family would approve of

They'd see that kind of magic as power

But not doing something you want just because they might approve of it, means they're still shaping your life

Whether it's an act of defence against them or an act of defence against defying them, my life is shaped by them. There's no avoiding it.

They don't have any power over you anymore

Oh don't they?

They're still in all of my decisions, her words and her voice is still in my head when I'm struggling.

They're there when someone leaves dirty dishes out and I cringe or when someone touches my hair without warning

They're all of the unfortunate parts of me, but they're parts of me nonetheless

I'm sorry.

It's fine

I only meant

I don't know what I meant

I know they're there and you've been hurt by them and I know that won't go away. But they don't matter. Your feelings do, and they're valid, but they don't.

I promise if I ever meet a worthwhile wizard, I won't let my family's opinion get in the way

Maybe he'll also be a werewolf, they couldn't possibly approve of that

You know, I somehow think that would definitely be something they wouldn't approve of

Perfect, I'll have my fingers crossed that you fall in love with a wizard werewolf then

Me too

Goodnight, Sirius

Sweet dreams