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5SOS Group Chat

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Ashton: I had a threesome with Calum

Michael: ...

Calum: dude

Calum: what the fuck

Luke: I'm laughing so hard right now 

Luke: you fucking idiot XD

Ashton: I was supposed to send that to Luke...

Ashton: my bad I'll leave now

Michael: wait 

Michael: you weren't going to tell me you had a threesome with Calum??

Calum: he wasn't supposed to tell anyone he had a threesome with Calum

Ashton: <3

Luke: this is hilarious 

Michael: how does that even happen

Ashton: it was pretty simple really 

Calum: ash no

Luke: ash yes XD

Ashton: Calum was having sex

Ashton: in walks me

Ashton: bang 

Ashton: threesome

Michael: was the bang you passing out and the rest you dreaming?

Calum: ^^ yes

Luke: omg Ashton just told me about it on the phone holy shit you guys are so gay

Calum: it wasn't gay

Michael: I wanna know!!!!

Luke: Mikey our band is half gay


Calum: there was a female involved that basically means no homo

Luke: dude

Luke: Ashton's literally on the phone to me as I text you telling me all the gory details

Michael: I WANNA KNOW!!!! 


Ashton: I always tell Luke my life 

Ashton: since we started the band

Luke: literally anything Ashton knows I know

Michael: ...oh

Luke: yep 

Michael: ...oh

Ashton: I'm sorry I can't help it 

Calum: Luke how much do you know

Luke: shut up gay, you're too gay for this chat and Ashton is in it

Ashton: hey!

Luke: lol michael thought i was hot in high school

Michael: dammit Luke stop talking!!!!

Calum: hahaha WHAT?

Calum: he was literally a noodle

Ashton: I'm sorry

Ashton: people really shouldn't tell me their secrets unless they are comfortable with the whole band knowing. 

Luke: that's why he hated me

Luke: he was jealous bc I was all 'annoying and hot with the voice of an angel' 

Luke: you guys hear that

Luke: its the sound of high school me getting laid bc I was fucking lit obviously 

Michael: I hate you 

Michael: you ugly fuck 

Michael: tell me why ash and cal are gay now


Luke: how does calum sound moaning your name ash?

Ashton: lUKE

Ashton: SHHH 

Calum: how much did you tell him?!

Luke: everything

Ashton: almost everything

Ashton: ok no I told him everything but he usually keeps stuff to himself

Ashton: why are you being a shit luke

Michael: ??????

Michael: luke please tell me stuff 

Calum: Luke used to tell girls that you were gay and dating him so they'd leave you alone

Luke: !!!


Michael: I knew I was fucking hot 

Michael: you always cockblocked me wtf 

Calum: yeah he did

Calum: I can name at least seven girls 

Ashton: the band is half gay

Ashton: you and michael have been in love with each other for years

Ashton: probably secretly married

Luke: how did your fingers feel in Calum's ass, Ashton?

Michael: WhAT THE FUCK 

Calum: you can't prove anything

Michael: that sounds pretty gay I'm sorry

Ashton: Luke I tell you these things in confidence!

Luke: ashton liked it when Calum bit his lip

Ashton: S T O P

Michael: 0-100 real fast 

Luke: "You're so hot, Ash- f-fuck-"

Calum: were you fucking there or something??

Luke: Ashton tells me everything 

Ashton: not anymore I don't

Ashton: the space is open, whoever wants it speak first

Calum: ME

Michael: YES PLEASE 

Michael: fuck

Calum: quick Ash phone me and tell me secrets about luke 

Luke: I'm sorry

Luke: don't do that

Luke: take me back 

Calum: oh my god

Calum: Luke still does the girl thing with Michael

Michael: what

Michael: whyyyyyy??? 

Calum: bc Luke is muke af

Luke: Cal speak up I can't hear you because there's so much of Ashton's dick in your mouth

Michael: crying 

Ashton: Luke once wet the bed at age 14

Luke: the girl in the threesome barely got involved bc Ashton and Calum were too busy all over each other

Ashton: Luke only lost his virginity because Michael called him a pussy for being the only virgin in the band 

Luke: Ashton looks at our asses on stage just because he can

Ashton: thats nothing

Ashton: luke once caught calum in the shower and didn't bother looking away. Watched him for a full 5 minutes before he even realized he was staring 

Luke: Ashton wrote us all valentines cards for our last year in school bc he was afraid we wouldn't get any and he put different girls names from our classes on them

Luke: then when Calum found his and wanted to ask the girl out, he payed her to go on a date with him

Calum: wait, seriously?

Ashton: Michael was Luke's first kiss

Michael: no I wasn't!

Ashton: you were drunk and Luke came onto you bc he knew you wouldn't remember. 

Luke: we blood swore that you wouldn't tell him that

Luke: Ashton wasn't going to be in the band until I convinced him to be because he thought he'd fall in love with one of us 

Ashton: Luke kissed Michael's step sister to get back at Michael for not remembering 

Michael: w

Luke: Ashton knew he was bisexual at age 15 and is still too afraid to act on it

Luke: he's had sex dreams about Cal though

Calum: guys

Calum: you both need to stop

Ashton: when Luke lost his virginity he cried 

Ashton: sometimes he cries when he remembers it because he wasn't ready 

Ashton: now he has trouble having a sexual connection with anyone bc of the experience

Michael: fucking stop 

Michael: both of you

Luke: Ashton's been in love with Calum for over two years and the only reason he tells me everything is because he's scared that I'll tell Calum. 

Ashton Irwin has left the chat. 

Michael: what just fucking happened

Michael: that was so much personal shit

Calum: I thought we all told each other everything anyway

Luke: yeah well obviously not

Michael: Luke seriously 

Luke: no fuck him for telling you all that

Michael: Luke I fucking knew most of the stuff Ashton was saying! 

Luke: no you didn't?

Calum: yes he did 

Calum: the stuff Ashton was saying was stuff you've told us all at one point

Michael: usually when you're drunk

Michael: the only thing I didn't know was the first kiss/step sister thing

Michael: which fuck you by the way

Michael: Idc about her but I would've liked to have been at least half aware if my best friend was going to fucking make out with me 

Calum: Ashton's in love with me?

Luke: fuck 

Luke: fuck I'm actually crying right now 

Michael: don't freak out Cal

Calum: Don't freak out????

Calum: I'm sorry where have you been this entire conversation??

Calum: did you not get the 'Ashton and I were in a threesome together' memo? 

Calum: and now he's suddenly in love with me?

Luke: not suddenly 

Luke: over two years

Luke: well it was over two years ago that I found out anyway

Michael Clifford has invited Ashton Irwin to the chat.

Ashton Irwin has left the chat. 

Michael: fuck

Michael: Cal you invite him 

Calum: I don't think you understand Mike

Luke: I've messed everything up

Calum: Ashton's in love with me and we almost had sex the other day

Luke: what????

Calum: I thought he told you everything

Luke: he didn't tell me that!

Calum: yeah

Calum: the threesome? After the girl left we didn't exactly stop?? We were like, ----- this close to having sex. 

Luke: he didn't even tell me the girl left 

Michael: the bigger issue is that Ashton is probably crying and thinking Calum hates him right now and hating himself and I really don't like it when Ashton feels that way because the scars on his arms really give me the fucking feeling that Ashton isn't very good at dealing with negative feelings 

Michael: so can both of you stop being fucking selfish and get him back in the chat

Calum Hood has invited Ashton Irwin to the chat.

Calum: don't leave

Luke: I'm so sorry

Luke: I love you and I promise I was just mad but you weren't even saying things that were important and I shouldn't have outed you like that. I'm a fucking asshole. 

Luke: I'm the biggest asshole in this band

Luke: I tell girls that Michael is gay because I've seen him as mine since we were kids. 

Luke: that's fucking embarrassing so I hope we're even

Ashton: we're even

Michael: awww, my little Lukeykins

Michael: so protective of me

Michael: perfect little hubby you are 

Luke: see how much we've inflated his ego?? 

Ashton Irwin has left the chat. 

Calum Hood has invited Ashton Irwin to the chat.

Calum: give me chance to speak Ash 

Calum: I'm just trying to think of how I want to say what I'm going to say, ok, so give me chance 

Calum Hood has removed Luke Hemmings from the chat.

Calum Hood has removed Michael Clifford from the chat.  

Calum: I don't know what to say

Ashton: it's fine

Ashton: seriously Luke wasn't supposed to bring that shit up

Calum: would you have told me yourself?

Ashton: of course not

Ashton: and that's definitely a good thing

Ashton: Look can we just go back to pretending you don't know and I'll go back to being blissfully ignorant of my own feelings

Calum: Pretending I don't know? Ash I didn't know

Ashton: ok there's no need to lie to protect my feelings

Ashton: I got over it a while ago. I'm not fucking up the band because of something I knew would happen anyway. 

Calum: Ashton  I  d i d n ' t  k n o w 

Ashton: it's not like Luke didn't make it obvious all the time anyway, we always wrote together and he made me and you share hotel rooms and basically Luke needs to leave the band

Ashton: I'm kidding

Ashton: I think

Ashton: I'm still mad at him 

Ashton: there was no need to point it out 


Ashton: anyway I think I've embarrassed myself enough now

Ashton: so I hope it isn't awkward whenever I get the courage to actually look you in the eye

Ashton: I'm sorry, if that helps anything. 

Ashton Irwin has left the chat.

Calum: oh for fuck sake

Calum Hood has invited Ashton Irwin to the chat.

Calum: STAY



Ashton: we're texting but ok

Ashton: I mean I don't know what needs to be said can we please just ignore the whole thing

Calum: oh my god

Calum: you're being impossible

Ashton: what do you expect

Ashton: I don't want to be rejected by my best friend

Ashton: so on that note 

Calum: DON'T


Ashton: I may sound like I'm handling this well over text but I'm really not and Luke is at my door trying to apologize and I just want to curl up in bed okay. I don't have the courage to hear whatever you've got to say to me right now so just reject me another day when I'm less crying and hating my life

Ashton Irwin has left the chat. 

Calum Hood has invited Ashton Irwin to the chat. 

Calum: I LOVE YOU. 


Calum: please just let me speak this is exhausting

Ashton: what

Calum: why the fuck would I reject you Ash you've known me for a few years and you know me better than anyone

Calum: I spend more time with you than I do with all of my family combined

Ashton: tours

Calum: because I want to. 

Ashton: oh

Calum: so you don't have like seven things to say to me right now? I can finally talk, yay!

Calum: look we almost had sex the other day, I mean, if that doesn't say there's something there then I have no idea what does

Calum: your fingers were literally inside of me jesus

Ashton: I didn't want to get my hopes up

Calum: well thank fuck for Luke 

Calum: apparently you were never going to grow balls 

Ashton: what are you saying exactly

Calum: I'm saying lets date

Calum: try it out

Calum: let's also actually have sex

Ashton: wow ok

Calum: you sound thrilled -.-

Ashton: no I promise I am I'm just shocked

Calum: also lets troll Luke really hard and pretend one of us is leaving the band

Ashton: YES

Calum: ok are you ready?

Calum: I'll be the one who's leaving, you be all heartbroken and shit

Ashton: :)))

Calum Hood has invited Michael Clifford to the chat.

Calum: mikey we're trolling Luke

Calum: I'm leaving the band

Michael: ???

Calum: revenge

Michael: go for it

Calum Hood has invited Luke Hemmings to the chat.