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Just Kidding

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‘Ugh, I’m so hungry!’ Stiles groans. His stomach rumbles its agreement.

Derek noses at Stiles’ ear, inhaling deeply. That’s been happening a lot lately, and Stiles knows why, he still has to let Derek know, though. The thought of it is making him nervous. He’s still trying to figure out how this actually happened, because, well, he wasn’t born with a uterus. Deaton has some ideas about Stiles’ spark in combination with the fairies who promised them a gift in exchange for saving their princess, mix in the unpredictability of the supernatural world, it might just all add up to Stiles getting pregnant.

‘Hi, hungry,’ Derek grins, pulling back. Stiles sighs and rolls his eyes. Next to him, Scott snorts. ‘I’m Derek.’

Stiles grabs a pillow and hits Derek in the face with it. Derek just laughs, his head thrown back and a hand on his chest. It’s such a beautiful sight that Stiles has to smile. God, these pregnancy hormones are making him sappy.

‘Allison’s here with the pizzas,’ Scott interrupts Stiles’ fonding over his ridiculous boyfriend. ‘Her hands are full, so she’ll need someone to open the door for her.’

‘But if we get food into you, you will no longer be hungry? Who will you be?’ Derek asks Stiles, eyes wide in mock concern.

‘Oh my g— Can you please open the door before another terrible joke comes out of your mouth?’ Stiles says, pushing Derek off the couch.

‘Hey, this is some of my best material!’ Derek protests.

‘I know! That’s what’s so terrible,’ Stiles shouts after him.

‘I can’t believe you and Derek are more adorable than me and Allison,’ Scott muses, shaking his head. ‘And he really seems to be getting into those dad jokes.’

‘Well, jokes on him, because he is going to be a dad,’ Stiles mutters, then slaps his hand over his mouth when he realizes what he just said.

Scott is looking at him with wide eyes, eyes trailing down and fixing on Stiles’ belly. ‘Wh— H— Do you mean now?’

‘What? No! You know it takes nine months to grow a human, Scottie. Deaton and I figure it’ll be another seven months or so.’

‘Did you tell Derek yet?’

The front door slams open.

‘No. He did not.’

Stiles turns slowly. Derek is standing by the front door. His expression blank. Stiles hopes it’s because the happiness has paralyzed his facial muscles, and not because Derek is mad. Derek approaches slowly, then sits back down in the spot he vacated only moments earlier. His hands twitch as he reaches for Stiles, but then quickly pulls back.

‘Are you… Really?’ Derek asks. He looks so fragile and hopeful in that moment, that Stiles’ heart hurts. He grabs one of Derek’s hands and presses it to his belly, just below the navel. There’s no real bump yet, but the skin is slightly warmer to the touch, and it feels like Stiles has rock hard abs where it’s not possible to have abs.

‘Really,’ Stiles grins.

‘How?’ Derek’s expression has gone from fragile hope, to joyful wonder.

‘No idea. Deaton and I have some theories, but I don’t think we’ll ever be sure on how this happened. You’re not freaked out?’

‘A little,’ Derek admits. ‘But it’s more because I’m going to be a dad, then the fact that I got my boyfriend pregnant somehow.’

Stiles breathes out, and he hadn’t even realized how scared he’d been about that. That Derek might be too freaked out to stay.

Derek cradles Stiles’ face with one hand, keeping the other on Stiles’ belly, and leans in, pressing a kiss to Stiles’ lips that is so sweet it makes Stiles’ stomach flip like it’s their first time.

‘What’s going on with them?’ Allison’s voice pulls Derek’s and Stiles’ focus off each other.

‘I figured you two could use a moment alone,’ Scott grins. ‘You wanna tell her now, or have her do that frowny thing the rest of the night?’

‘We’re pregnant,’ Stiles grins brightly. He just catches a glimpse of Derek’s beaming smile, before Derek dives into Stiles’ neck, scenting him, again.

Allison’s mouth drops open in surprise. ‘You mean…?’

‘Yep. Derek knocked me up.’

‘Why do you two always have to be so weird?’ Allison shakes her head. She pushes the pizza boxes she’s holding into Scott’s arms, then rushes over to them for a hug. ‘Congratulations!’

‘Thanks. Now give me the pizza!’ Stiles makes grabby hands at Scott, who hands him a box with a smile only rivalled by Stiles’ own.

Derek finally pulls himself out of Stiles’ neck.

‘I love you,’ his whispers.

‘I love you, too,’ Stiles whispers back and presses a quick kiss to Derek’s lips. ‘Now, you failed to get me my food, so you need to get me something to drink.’

Derek snorts, but gets up. ‘What do you want?’

‘Tea,’ Stiles says, opening the pizza box and smiling down at the cheesy goodness. ‘And you can’t judge, because you’re the one who got me pregnant.’

‘You’re having tea with pizza, I can judge all I want,’ Derek points out. He disappears into the kitchen, but sticks his head around the corner not a minute later. ‘Hey, Stiles, I figured out how to make holy water.’

Stiles sighs and braces himself for impact, pretending the smile tugging at his lips isn’t there.

‘You boil the hell out of it.’

Stiles throws a helpless look at Allison and Scott, both sporting a look somewhere between amused and horrified.

‘I can’t believe they’re getting worse,’ Scott mumbles.

‘I can,’ Allison grins. ‘And now that he’s really going to be a dad, it will never stop.’

Stiles groans, but his heart skips in excitement. He can’t wait.