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Was it Fate? Roommates from Hell

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Gathered in the family room, kneeling in front of their parents, the six NEETs could not believe their ears. After the divorce scare, they were sure they had convinced their parents to stay together, meaning a secure cash flow for mooching forever, but now..

“We realized you bunch of lazy NEETs were guilting us into staying together and providing for you. I am taking a leave from work, so that your mother and I can take a well-deserved extended vacation. It may be a few months or it may be a year, but we are going to focus on our relationship and lives again.” Matsuzo said with a heavy sigh and a disapproving frown.

Their mom followed, “I don’t even know who I am anymore.. It’s not normal for a mother to have to care for her children for this long! We don’t know how long we will be gone, so we are renting out the house.” The brothers breathed a sigh of relief, that meant they would still be staying there, right?

“Don’t assume we are still going to let you run the place, if you can manage to pay the bills and keep everything running, great. If not, rent out the place or find some roommates who are actual successful members of society.”

Their jaws dropped, “B-But Dad, how are we supposed to—?!”

“Bye Bye my little NEETs, good luck!” Their mom cut Osomatsu off, as movers appeared out of nowhere to haul off bundles of luggage. Before the brothers could speak, their parents slammed the door leaving behind a huge stack of papers.

“What the hell are we gonna do now? Damn it this sucks..” Osomatsu scratched his head.

Choromatsu examined the papers, “These.. are all bills?! Instructions for bills.. Recipes.. Newspaper clippings with job ads… I guess mom wanted to give us some hope.”

“Let me see that.” Todomatsu grabbed some of the papers, “E-EEEEHHHH?! IT COSTS THIS MUCH A MONTH???” He fell backwards and fainted, at this rate he would have to go back to his cafe job..

“It doesn’t really matter what we do right? We can live here like squatters!!” Jyushimatsu flapped his arms.

“I-I don’t want to be a squatter!!!” Choromatsu panicked.

“My Brothers~” Karamatsu smiled, “In this time of need, all we must do is band together, our brotherly love will allow us to—“ He clenched a fist, ready to deliver his line, but all his brothers had left the room.

——— A few weeks later———

Choromatsu was being crushed under a mountain of garbage, “Where is everyone???? What happened…”

Jyushimatsu appeared out of the filth, “AAAAAAAAAVALANNCHEEEE!!!!! HOME RUNNNN!!!”

He disappeared back inside, then pulled out Ichimatsu, “….Six pieces of garbage in this house was enough…”

Jyushimatsu dove back in, this time throwing out Todomatsu, “Ahhh, I thought I was going to die in there…”

Osomatsu appeared next, “Man… What the hell are we supposed to do now?” Muffled screams could be heard from the trash pile, but everyone remained outside.

“Thanks for rescuing us Jyushimatsu.” Todomatsu smiled happily.

“If only mommy was here to rescue us from this disaster..” Osomatsu sighed as the screams continued and the trash began to shuffle around.

Suddenly the power went out, “Eeeeeh, was it time to pay the bills already?!” Todomatsu whined, “How am I supposed to charge my phone now???”

Karamatsu finally managed to escape from the mountain, “Y-You guys.. Were you giving me a chance for a dramatic entrance?” He gleamed, then Ichimatsu knocked over the mountain so it piled on top of Karamatsu again.

“Really though, what should we do now??” Osomatsu sighed.

“Hmm.. Well.. I guess we could follow their advice.” Choromatsu murmured.

His brothers, excluding Karamatsu, looked at him in shock, “Y-You don’t mean?..”

“Maybe we should find some roommates. The house is big enough, and if we get enough of them we won’t have to work at all!”

“Hmm…” They murmured, Osomatsu spoke up, “Maybe that would work out, it would be like having mom and dad back!”

Karamatsu pulled himself out again, “I think we should find some sexy Karamatsu girls to live here.”

“Idiot!!” Osomatsu smacked his brother, “Like any girl would want to live with you.”

However farfetched, that didn’t stop all of them from thinking that idea would be amazing, although impossible.

——A few days later——

Choromatsu had been the only one of his brothers to actually try and find a roommate, but he hadn’t had any luck with newspaper clippings, who used those anymore anyways? He looked online and everyone who he had approached turned him down. Maybe it was because his ad had a horrible description and a hefty monthly fee.

Finally he got a reply in his inbox, it said “My only requirement is the house must have a large kitchen.”

He looked at his brothers, “We have a big kitchen right?”

They turned to check, yeah the kitchen was disgusting right now, but it was nice. He typed a reply, out: “We have a large kitchen. Do you want to come see the place? Here is the address: XXXXXXXX.”

“Is someone coming over to cook for us?.. I’m so tired of instant noodles and coffee.” Todomatsu cried, he had gotten his old job back and was mostly eating cheap cafe food.

“Chibita won’t even serve us now.. We are that pathetic and broke..” Osomatsu sighed as well, “Maybe if we could just win big at Pachinko..”

“Oh!” Choromatsu spoke, “They want to move in right away..”

“Whaaa???” All the brothers huddled around, Osomatsu once again spoke for the group, “What if he is a total weirdo??? We don’t get to meet him first??”

Choromatsu sighed, “Well.. He’s coming to town in a few days to move here and he liked the picture I sent of the kitchen so..”

“Mmm, should we clean up before he comes? What if he refuses to move in when it’s so filthy?” Todomatsu asked only to be met by glares by his brothers.

“Idiot!!!! Why would we clean up when we have a new roommate who could move in and clean it for us!!!” Osomatsu yelled.

“Besides..” Ichimatsu smiled sinisterly, “It sounds like he’s trapped with us anyway..”

——Move in Day——

Phew.. You were really tired from carrying your luggage from the train station, but you were finally here. You didn’t have to double check the address because the house looked mostly like the picture, it was a little.. messier though.

You wrinkled your nose as you eyed the bags and piles of trash surrounding it.. Maybe it was trash day? You sighed, well, worst comes to worse you just find another place after bearing whatever was in store for you. You rang the doorbell, ready for anything.

“Hello!” The door opened to reveal a very happy looking man in a yellow sweater.

You blinked a few times shocked, “M-Maybe I do have the wrong address…” You pulled your phone out to double check, “Are you… Nyaa-Chan4lyfe2?…”

The man just stared at you, still smiling wide but sweating up a storm, suddenly he pulled his hands in front of his pants and ran off inside.

“N-N-N-N-NIIIIIIISAAAAAAN” He yelled loudly, then suddenly he rounded the corner again, wait did he change clothes?

“U-Um..” The man had been glaring menacingly, but when he saw you he immediately turned white, even his purple sweater drained of color. He fell over on the floor.

“A-Ahh!! Are you okay?” You rushed inside leaving your bags at the door, “Excuse me?..” You shook him a little, but he was foaming at the mouth, “O-Oh my god… Is he dead?!”

Suddenly you were aware of the filth that surrounded you, “I’m the one who’s gonna die, I can’t live here????”

The gurgling noise brought you back to reality, “Oh right, um…” You pulled his head onto your lap to raise it, as you were taught in first aid, so he wouldn’t choke. For some reason, this made him gurgle worse and now he was bright red.

“Does he have a fever?” You reached down to touch his forehead, but shockingly he was able to dart (crawl?) away from you at an alarming speed.

Suddenly, the man in the yellow sweater rounded the corner, still covering himself.

“Twins?..” You murmured as the purple one backed into the opposing wall.

Then four other guys in different colored sweaters rounded the corner behind the yellow one, “S-S-Six same f-faces?!” You jolted and stood up, what was going on?!? You thought you had prepared for everything, but not this!!!

All six of them were now gawking at you, “Which one of you is… Nyaa-Chan4lyfe2???” You asked, trying to regain your composure.

The green sweater shakily rose his hand, “B-Bullfrog61?…………….”

You nodded, realizing with horror that you were in the right place after all. Suddenly, a guy in sunglasses appeared next to you. “Gah!” You jerked as he had grabbed your hand and was raising it to his lips.

“So.. A karamatsu girl did come to live with us after all?” Sunglasses murmured, despite you jerking your hand away.

The purple one was apparently feeling better, as he had knocked the other guy to the floor.

“This is too much, this is so confusing!! What is going on??” You exclaimed, and it got everyone’s attention.

“U-Uh…… I wasn’t.. We didn’t.. think you would be a girl?” The green one spoke quietly, “Your name was.. Bullfrog..”

“And yours was Nyaa-Chan!!! I thought you were a girl??” Okay, calm down, this isn’t that much different from your dorms at uni.. they were co-ed.. A dorm is pretty much like a house, maybe sharing a house with guys is the same?? As you were lost in thought all of the brothers had managed to clean up the house in an instant, “What… How did you..”

Red sweater had stepped forward, he was blushing, “We’re so sorry about the mess, that was just um…”

“A TESTOOO!!!!! STRIKE 1!!!” Yellow exclaimed.

“Yes, we were just trying to um, play around with the new guy coming in, as a joke!” Pink sweater nodded and smiled.

“Oh… Okay then… So that’s not a normal thing then?” You asked, all of them ferociously shook their heads, “I guess I should get my bags—“ Suddenly they all were fighting to be the one to carry your bags inside, “Thank you?..”

You all sat down to discuss things, the Green one spoke, “So… Do you still.. Plan to..”

“Oh, well, I don’t really have anywhere else to go, and I was planning on staying here already. Did you change your minds?” They all shook their heads ferociously once more getting excited and you swore you could somehow see literal hearts in their eyes, “Okay, well then yeah it’s fine with me.” You eyed the kitchen, it was a nice one.. Remember, it’s just like uni, you reminded yourself.

“You’re really okay with living with all men?!” The red one exclaimed excitedly drooling a bit.

“Well, I—“ You started.

“Are you a porn—“ All 5 of the others tackled him mid-sentence.

“What was that?..” You asked, confused.

“N-Nothing, ignore him.” The pink one said, “What were you saying?”

“Oh, well I was thinking about it, and as long as I have my own private room it will pretty much be the same set up I had in college.”

“HUUURKKKKK.” You jolted, all of them looked like they had just seen a ghost. “C-C-C—C-C-College?…….” The green one gurgled.

“Yeah.. I just graduated—“

“HHRKKK.”

They seemed to be pierced by something, “….Recently, and I was invited to come here to apprentice—“

“AAAGN.”

They all started to foam at the mouth, maybe some genetic condition, you tried to ignore it as not to be rude, “…So that I can run my own pâtisserie one day.” You finally finished, this time they had all collapsed on the floor.

“S-So.. Much.. A-Aspiration…” One said.

“So much.. D-Drive…”

“Such a.. strong will to live.” Said purple.

“DREAMS!” yelled the yellow.

“Ah.. Yeah, well that’s normal for someone my age right?”

“H-How old are you?…” The red one clutched his chest.

“I’m twenty-two.” Blood spurted out from their heads and you shrieked in fear.

—— Moments later——

“Are you sure you’re alright?” You asked, a little nervous.

“Yeah, yeah we are totally fine.” The pink one said, but you were getting tired of these color distinctions.

“So.. You are… like Super Twins?”

“It’s SEXtuplets.” The blue one lowered his shades to wink at you, you grimaced, and another shot stabbed him, where were these things coming from?!

“I guess we haven’t introduced ourselves, I’m Chor-“ Green was cut off by red.

“I’m the eldest son, Osomatsu!”

“Karamatsu… That’s what I’m known to some..” The blue one spoke, while he looked into the distance, where was he looking?!

“I’m Choromatsu, the third son.” Green smiled, blushing a bit.

“…Ichimatsu.” The purple one looked away.

“Fifth son, Jyushimatsu, Muscle Muscle, Hustle Hustle!~” Yellow began to bounce around the room.

“And I’m Todomatsu, the youngest!~” He smiled at you making a cutesy face.

They all bowed and said, “Nice to meet you. Please take care of us!”

Take care of us??? Is that something normal you say to your roommates??? You bowed as well, was this really going to work out…..?