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Certain Things

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It’s been happening more often, certain things in her dreams that would remind her of her past life. Certain things like smears of black war paint, the sound of a dagger slicing through flesh, a gunshot. She could feel herself being consumed in forest green eyes and tears, memories of a girl.

Ever since the troops left the citizens to fend for themselves, Elyza had been plagued by visions of Lexa and Clarke. She could hear the gentle voice of the brunette calling her name, her calloused hands caressing her cheek.

Ai hod yu in, Klarke.

Sometimes she would wake up with her own tears streaming down her face. She’d pull her aviators from where they rested between the space in her chest, using them as a makeshift mirror, because, let’s face it, there aren’t many unbroken things in this world now. She wipes the stains away, reaching into her bag to smear some more paint along the undersides of her eyes, effectively masking any evidence of her weakness.

Love is weakness. She hears Lexa say in the back of her mind. She knows it’s not true.

The blonde groans as her stomach twists from hunger. She needs to move. The sun was setting and it was only a matter of time until the walkers would come searching for their own source of sustenance.

She pulls herself up, readjusting her damn bra that was digging into her ribs uncomfortably before brushing off her hands against her dark skinny jeans. Throwing her leather studded jacket over her shoulders, she exits the abandoned parking lot, one hand hovering carefully over the dagger hanging from her hip. After discarding the mess of metal she had been previously toying with, she throws her leg over her motorcycle, dark combat boots slamming down on the kickstand. Elyza speeds off in the direction of the nearest shopping plaza. She could use a bite to eat. She scoffs at herself for such a horrendous joke.

Damn, Lex. You’re losing your touch.

The roads are empty and the landscape barren. It’s not that she minds, she’d rather be alone than surrounded by those bloody corpses. Elyza wasn’t a bad fighter, actually, she was a great shot and had more than decent aim when it came to firing at a moving target. But still, it was the principle of it all. The fact that these things were once people; mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, lovers… She shakes her head. She had come to the states with the intent of reuniting with her long-distance girlfriend, only to find her in their apartment feasting on their best friend. She had to shoot both on the spot. She wasn’t sure which hurt more.

After the plague, the airports shut down and travel was restricted. She was basically stranded in a foreign country with no means of communicating to her family back home. To be honest though, Elyza isn’t really sure they’re even looking for her.

She finally rides to a small convenience store with a glass storefront door. Bingo.

When she gets close enough, she pulls the assault rifle from behind her back, placing it on her shoulder with one hand, the other still maneuvering the bike beneath her. Closing one eye, she takes her aim and fires easily. The glass shatters less than a second later.

She kills the engine and steps off the bike.

“St-stay away from me!” She hears a stutter from inside. The hell?

“I-I-I have a weapon.” The voice threatens unconvincingly.

Elyza quirks a brow, stepping over the glass and through the doorframe confidently. She’s met with a pair of cowering green eyes. Her heart leaps out of her chest for a moment and Elyza is thankful for the aviators that were still placed on the bridge of her nose. She could basically feel her eyes bulging out of her skull. Lexa.

Elyza knows it has to be her. Despite the change in attire, the tameness of her hair, there were just certain things. She knows. That’s her Lexa standing right in front of her with a flimsy baseball bat over her shoulder and a horrible stance that Elyza could easily knock her out of with a simple nudge behind her knee.

She smirks at the gorgeous brunette, drinking in her long legs, the high-waisted shorts she has on leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination, not that Elyza minded.

“Who the hell are you?” The girl demands, taking a step back.

“Elyza Lex.” She holds out her hand. Green Eyes frowns, pursing her lips.

“What are you doing here?” She’s trying to be intimidating but the blonde simply finds it amusing, letting a chuckle fall from her lips.

“What are you laughing at?” The brunette narrows her eyes.

“Nothing, sweet cheeks.” Elyza charms. “You’re just really cute.”

She wasn’t expecting that. The taller girl straightens, slowly lowering the bat in her hands. “The door was open, you know.” She rolls her eyes.

“You inviting me in?” Elyza can’t help it. She’s had so many dreams about making love this Lexa. About being Clarke and being absolutely head over heels in love with her. But she doesn’t know this girl.

Not yet. Her mind tells her.

The girl’s ears turn red as she crosses her arms, shifting her weight to one hip. Elyza’s eyes follow.

“No.” She says sharply, grabbing a few items from the shelves with a scowl, ignoring Elyza’s presence.

“So…” The blonde prompts after a minute.

“So what?” The brunette says bitingly.

“You gonna tell me your name or should I just refer to you as Pretty Girl?” Elyza teases.

“Get lost.” Green Eyes grumbles.

It doesn’t throw her though. In fact, it only eggs her on more to step up her game. She raises her aviators and stalks over to the girl until they are only a few inches apart.

“I already am lost” she smirks “in your eyes.”

The brunette’s mouth falls open slightly, as if she can’t decide whether or not to punch her. Elyza takes it as a good sign. And it is.

“Alicia.” She says not a minute later. “You can call me Alicia, not pretty girl.”

“Oh, I can do both.” Elyza chuckles. Alicia narrows her gaze and the blonde gives. “But I’ll go with Alicia for now.” She shrugs.

She continues observing tan, slender hands picking up random items, turning them as she pretends to read the labels. But Elyza can tell she’s just trying to distract herself. She’s really watching her from the corner of her eye. When Elyza catches her, Alicia immediately looks away with a huff. 

The blonde smirks victoriously, reaching in her pocket for a cigarette and a lighter. She flicks the wheel and the flame comes to life, glowing against the roll.

“You’re gonna die if you do that.” Alicia berates, accompanied with a roll of her eyes.

“There are worse ways to go.” Elyza says simply.

“Like a gunshot wound.” Alicia quips accusingly, tilting her chin toward the shattered glass on the floor.

Elyza freezes. Lexa.

“Exactly like a gunshot wound.” She whispers.

Alicia turns to her, brows threaded together in confusion at the change in tone.

Elyza clenches her fist, taking a long drag from her cigarette. She walks down the aisle, making sure to brush her shoulder against Alicia’s back as she passes. She take a container of wrinkle cream from the shelf, tossing it at the girl who lets it fall to the floor, but not before reading the label.

“For those worry lines.” Elyza teases.

“Fuck you.” Alicia fights back a smile.

“Yes please.” She smiles coyly.

Alicia stares, dumbfounded.

“May we meet again, pretty girl.” She says, grabbing a bag of gummies and chips from the aisle, taking an exaggerated bow before flicking out her cigarette on the ground.

“Yeah, not likely.” The brunette dismisses.

But in fact, it was very likely. Certain things are just  handed to fate and not two days later, they meet again in the most unfavorable situations. Elyza had been napping in a small alleyway atop a fire escape when she heard a blood curling scream. Jumping into action, she ran toward the source of the cries only to find a familiar someone backed against a wall, a hoard of walkers closing in on her.

The biker takes her position, throwing herself in the line of attack, stabbing skulls and taking names. Alicia stands terrified behind her, flinching as the last zombie grabs her arm. Elyza’s protective instincts are kicked into full gear and she lunges at the corpse, stabbing ruthlessly over and over again in a blind rage. It falls over

“Fucking wankers.” The Australian curses, as the body falls to the ground. She’s smiling triumphantly until she sees that Alicia is trembling by her side, jaw slack in a mix of terror and awe and her eyes widened like a deer in headlights.

“It’s okay.” Elyza’s voice softens, she wraps one arm around the girl’s shoulder, rubbing lightly, the other tucking her blade away. “You’re okay.”

And suddenly the brunette is crying.

“Hey.” The blonde cooes. “It’s alright. I promise, nothing’s going to happen to you.” She pulls the girl to her fully now. To her surprise, Alicia wraps her arms around her waist, grasping desperately for something solid and stable. Her fingers coil around the bottom of Elyza’s worn tank top. The blonde’s heart breaks. It feels like Lexa’s hands, trembling and desperate against her skin.

Elyza rubs her back comfortingly and shushes her until her tears subside. Alicia blushes in embarrassment and pulls away.

“Where are your…” Elyza isn’t sure if Alicia has family or a boyfriend or anybody, really, so she settles on finishing the sentence with “People?”

“Gone.” She sniffs. “They’re all dead.”

“Are they…?” She’s afraid to ask. The last thing she wants is for Alicia to have to see her loved ones again in that state.

“No.” Alicia shakes her head. “Thankfully, I guess.” She tries to shrug it off.

Elyza can’t help but wonder how this girl, this frail, beautiful girl has been surviving out here on her own, clearly with no combat skills whatsoever.

“Have you eaten today?” The blonde tries to change the subject, sensing the brunette’s discomfort.

“I’m not in the mood for your jokes.” She rolls her green eyes. Elyza is baffled. This girl could go from zero to 180 in the blink of an eye.

“Believe it or not,” Elyza smiles. “I wasn’t trying to use a line.”

“Oh.” The brunette blushes.

“Unless you want it to be a line.” She wiggles her eyebrows playfully and she can tell Alicia is trying hard to fight back a smile.

“No.” She responds as flatly as possible. “I most definitely do not.”

“Alright.” Elyza smirks, glad to have been able to at least alleviate some of the green-eyed girl’s pain.

“So what are you craving?” She asks, continuing with the innuendos.

Alicia narrows her eyes. And Elyza can’t help but throw her head back with a laugh.

“Okay, okay.” She holds her hands up in defense. “But to be fair, it’s pretty hard to ask a gorgeous girl what she wants for food without everything coming out like a line.”

Alicia ducks her head and a strand of hair falls to frame her face. Elyza tucks it back on reflex, grateful that she doesn’t pull away.

“Really though, I’m starved.” Elyza confesses. “My bike’s around the corner if you want to come.”

The brunette smirks devilishly.

“Your mind is just as dirty as mine.” Elyza accuses.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” The brunette feigns innocence.

“Sure.” The Australian shakes her head. “Come on then. Let’s get out of here before you change your mind.” She takes Alicia’s hand in hers confidently leading them to where her motorcycle stood waiting.

“Ever ridden one of these babies?” She pats her bike affectionately.

The brunette shakes her head.

“Alright.” Elyza coaxes. “Follow my lead.” She instructs as she mounts the bike easily. Alicia swings a slender leg over just as gracefully. Elyza lets her eyes follow the long lines for a moment.

Alicia catches her staring and clears her throat expectantly.

“Right.” She smirks unabashedly. “Hold on tight, alright pretty girl? I tend to speed.”

Before Alicia can respond, Elyza is flooring it down the road and the brunette’s arms are tightly encircled around her waist. She closes her eyes for a moment, taking it in. The breeze kisses their skin as the sun beats down on them. Alicia is relaxing her grip now, but leaning more comfortably into her back and Elyza starts to wonder if maybe she feels it too.

She makes a silent promise to herself, and to Clarke.

I will protect you this time. I won’t let anything happen to you.


It’s only been a few weeks but for Elyza it feels like a lifetime. Maybe because in another life, it was. She still dreams of Clarke and Lexa and the love they shared. And she tries her best not to project those feelings onto Alicia, but try as she may, certain things just cannot be controlled.

They’re holed up in another abandoned house for the night. Elyza has since found a ukulele and Alicia absolutely hates it. Or so she claims, but Elyza is pretty sure she secretly loves it when she starts singing Jason Mraz love songs or acoustic ballad versions of 90s R&B songs.

Alicia is chewing on an all-vegan, gluten-free something or other, legs curled under her on the couch. Elyza doesn’t bother to remember the name of the snack food. She just knows there’s a picture of a cow with a flower crown on the front of the bag and Alicia fucking loves them.

Elyza switches to another tune, Lights Down Low, jumping on the coffee table in front of the brunette. She shrugs her jacket off, tossing it in Alicia’s direction before swirling her hips sensually, grinning like an idiot.

Alicia tries her hardest not to smile but her resolve breaks in a matter of seconds. She starts flicking gummies at the dancing blonde, head thrown back in full on laughter when Elyza bends quickly at her knees to catch one in her mouth, holding it between her teeth for a moment, and shimmying her eyebrows to the rhythm.

“You’re an idiot.” Green eyes roll half-heartedly.

“You love it.” Elyza chews and swallows, settling down next to the brunette.

“I hate it.” Alicia shakes her head in disagreement.

The blonde’s hand finds the younger girl’s free one, lacing their fingers together. Alicia blushes hard.

“Do you though?” She smirks. “Because this,” She gives her hand a squeeze. “Tells me differently.”

Alicia shoves her shoulder and Elyza stands again, holding her hand out.

“Dance with me.” Blue eyes twinkle playfully.

“Never.” The brunette stands, grinning. Elyza pulls her towards her, placing a hand on the small of the Alicia’s back. Green eyes smile back at her and Elyza continues where she left off with the song. Alicia licks her lips and it takes Elyza everything in her to not lean forward and press her own against them.

The moment is interrupted when a clang is heard from outside the house. Elyza freezes and Alicia’s eyes widen.

The Australian places a finger over her lips signaling for Alicia to stay put.

“I’m not staying here.” She says defiantly.

“Alicia, please. I’ll be right back.” She assures. She takes the handgun from her back pocket, unlocking the safety. “Like I taught you, okay?” She places the gun in the girl’s hand, her own fingers wrapping around them, holding them for what would be considered an unnecessarily long amount of time.

Despite her attempt at remaining calm, Alicia’s eyes are full of concern.

“I promise. I won’t let anything happen to you.” She swears her fealty. Alicia nods reluctantly and Elyza tiptoes towards the door, looking through peephole before opening it slowly. It swings open with a creak and she cringes as it echoes into the night.

Her dark combat boots connect with the concrete outside as she closes the door quickly. She hears a low rumbling of breathing and grunting a few yards away. She looks into the darkness, fingers flexing around the assault rifle.

“Come on out you fuckers.” She calls out. Suddenly a swarm of zombies come charging towards her at speeds much faster than she’s ever witnessed.

She aims quickly, firing round after round. There are so many of them and she has no idea where they’re all coming from. She turns on her heels, running around the house for some cover. She shoots at the monsters from behind the corner, hoping desperately that Alicia was still alright. She could deal with dying protecting the girl, but she couldn’t imagine leaving her alone to fend for herself. No matter how much she taught her to fight.

She fires again and again until she hears a click.


She charges towards the backyard looking for something else to use. Blue eyes fall upon a storage shed and she runs for it. The walkers are hot on her tail, but luckily, she had taken out the majority of the fast ones. These fuckers were slow as hell, but still dangerous either way. She needed to get rid of them.

Her heart drops. It’s fucking locked. She throws her body at the wooden door. It doesn’t budge.

Damn it.

She tries again.


She lifts her foot to the rusty lock and kicks as hard as she can. The bolt clatters to the ground and she quickly throws open the door, scanning the interior. Her eyes settle on a large red canister. Perfect.

Even better, it’s full. She unscrews the cap and waits.

The growling gets closer and she lures them in. Slowly a dozen or so rotting corpses are surrounding the shed.

Good thing these fucks don’t have any brains. She thinks to herself. She bangs her fist on the shed wall and waits until she’s certain they’ve all gathered over to side. Then she pours a generous, and probably excessive amount of the liquid on the wall and ground. Better safe than sorry.

She then reaches into her pocket, taking her lighter and a bit of leaves and dusty from the ground. She places the leaves on the soiled ground, setting them aflame.

The fire crackles and bursts to life. She waits it out as long as she can. The flame lick at the interior wall and it’s only a matter of time until she hears the first groan from the outside. She’s starting to get lightheaded so she bursts through the door with the can, dousing the unsuspecting abominations in gasoline before throwing her lighter into the flames. The shed explodes and the blonde is thrown onto her back at the impact.

She rolls onto her side, hand clasping the dagger, slowly standing to defend herself. Most of the walkers have been demolished with the blast but a few still linger. She’s fucking exhausted, but she has a few more of them to take care of.

She lets herself fall forward, slashing through the skull of the first zombie. She pushes the corpse into the next one, buying herself some time as she turns her attention to the few approaching her from behind. She stabs them skillfully and they fall to the ground. She’s just about to finish the last one off when she feels her arm being grabbed from behind. She falls to the ground as two walkers pin her down. She struggles against their grip and bared teeth.

It’s over. She tells herself. She’s going to die and Alicia is going to have to shoot her. She made her promise. God, Elyza hopes she’ll keep it.

 And then gunshots ring out and the bodies fall atop of her, blood splattering everywhere.

She shoves the deadweight off her body, standing to find Alicia, two hands clasped around the gun, arms outstretched.

Elyza beams with pride.

“I was handling it.” She grunts but her blue eyes say all she needs to. Thank you for saving my life.

The brunette drops the gun and flies towards her, burying her face into Elyza’s neck, unaffected by the amount of blood and ash on her.

“Nice to see you too.” The blonde chuckles. Alicia pulls back, eyes locked on hers.

“God damn it, Elyza!” Alicia yells, her body now trembling. “That was the stupidest thing you could have ever done.”

“I know. I know.” She apologizes. “I’m sorry.”

“You could have… you could have been…” She hiccups. Her eyes well up.

“But I’m not.” She comforts. “I promised I’d come back for you. I’m right here.” She reassures. “See.” She wipes her face off as best as she can and takes Alicia’s hand and places it over her chest. “I’m right here. Alive and well.” She presses the delicate hand harder so she can feel her heart beating.

Teary green eyes meet hers in a whisper.

“Please don’t ever do that again.” Her defenses fall. “I can’t lose you too.”

Elyza’s heart shatters. Here before her stood a young girl, too young to have to bear the burdens she does. A girl with a heart full of love, living in a world of numbness and violence.

“I don’t want to lose you either.” Elyza confesses. Green eyes drop to her lips and Elyza swallows hard. And then soft lips press against hers and everything disappears. Clarke meets Lexa again and their lips move in sync, as if they’ve known each other forever. Maybe they do.

When they pull apart something changes in Alicia’s green eyes. And Elyza can see realization fall upon her features.

“So, Clarke.” She smirks. “We meet again.”

Elyza pulls her in for another kiss, tears falling down both of their faces, but they never break apart.

Certain things you just can’t forget.