A long time ago, when the world was young, the Thief of Light declared that she would take a m8. The other gods recoiled, for they knew that the Great Spider was known for her trickery and cunning, not her tenderness and care. The gods knew well enough that anyone foolish to walk into the Thief's web would find themselves ensnared, not embraced. So none answered her call, and the Thief was displeased. "Fine," she said angrily. "If none are willing to come to me, I will come to them."
She looked at all of the gods and thought long and hard about which she would choose. Some she eliminated immediately -- the Knight of Blood was too loud, the Heir of Void was too strong. Finally her eight eyes landed upon the Page of Breath, who was helping a young bird fly out of its nest. "Perfect," she hissed, and wrapped herself in the form of a fairy. She knew that the Horned God was enamored of the dainty things, and thought that she might win his heart that way. So she fluttered into his arms, a weak and trembling thing, and the naive Page cradled her to his breast with care.
"Page," said the Thief, "do you love me?"
The One Who Flies Without Wings loved all living things, and told her so.
"Even if I had eight terrible legs?" asked the cunning spider god.
The Page laughed. "I love every living thing!" He said merrily. "No matter how big or small, and no matter how many legs you have."
"Would you still love me," said the Thief, "if I had eight terrible eyes?"
"Of course I would, little fairy," said the Page.
The Thief threw her head back and laughed, shedding the fairy skin as she did so. The Page began to recoil, but she had already taken advantage of his surprise and kissed him.
Unfortunately, the Spider did not have much experience with kissing and an awful lot of fangs. When the first drop of the Page's blood hit the ground, he came to his senses and summoned a breeze to blow the Thief away. She landed on the other side of the world, to the laughter of the other gods (who of course had been watching), and vowed to never try and take a lover again.