Eye See What You Did There
Sans & Pipsqueak
Sans was having another nightmare, and his thrashing and muttering had woken you up. After a month of living with him, you’d gotten used to it – the nightmares tended to happen on a weekly basis. Most of the time a few sweet words and some pats to the face would wake him. Not tonight, though – you had been trying to talk him down for several minutes now, and nothing had helped. He was facing the ceiling and you couldn’t reach his cheeks or eyes – just his jawline. Patting his jawline wasn’t doing any good, though, so you decided to take a chance.
Despite the appearance, the skeleton brother’s bones were not perfectly smooth. There were pits and dips in the white surface, which made perfect little handholds and footholds. It was surprisingly easy to pull yourself up the crown of his skull and sit on your knees at his brow.
“Sans,” you muttered, running your hand over the pliable ridges over his closed eyes. You’d long ago given up on understanding the physics of the skeleton monster. “Sans, wake up. You’re having a nightmare. C’mon, it’s Pipsqueak, wake up now,” you leaned forward a bit as his eyelids crinkled. “Time to wake up, ya big lug.”
You were sitting over his right brow, so when he gasped and his eyes snapped open, you were left staring into an empty pit for all of five seconds. He jolted, left socket alight with blue energy, and you pitched forward with a panicked shout.
Sans…did not have eye balls. You tumbled straight into his skull, which should have been impossible, so so so impossible, but here you were, falling through an odd darkness that seemed to take up every iota of space, before smacking into the hard surface of the inside of the skull you’d just been climbing.
The curved world tilted as Sans sat up, and you rolled down to a flatter area, which you supposed was the bottom of his skull, where it flattened and floated over his neck. You sat up and looked about, rubbing at the growing bump on your head.
Sans voice seemed to come from all around you, echoing oddly in your ears. A slim line of light opened in front of you, moving as he spoke, and you reasoned this must be his mouth. Odd, it didn’t look like his teeth moved when you saw him speak from the other side of the bones.
The world jolted a bit and you guessed the skeleton had jumped in surprise at hearing a voice from inside his skull.
“Kid, are you – am I hearing voices or are ya’ in my head?”
“Probably a bit of both,” you quipped, watching his mouth curiously as he spoke. “I knew you were a numbskull, but I didn’t expect your head to be so empty.”
“No stealing my jokes, kiddo,” the line of teeth widened as he grinned. “Comfy?”
“Not in the least.” You looked around the darkness again. It felt as though it had a weight, and pressed against you. It wasn’t uncomfortable, just heavy. It made you very aware that you were somewhere you weren’t supposed to be. “How do I get out?”
“Heh, I’m uh, not completely sure. Never had this happen before, ta be honest.” Your surroundings shifted a bit and you pressed your hands against the bone beneath you to keep from falling over. “That feels so weird…”
“Tell me about it,” you muttered.
“Hang on a second, I have an idea.”
The line of teeth in front of you opened wide – wider than you thought possible – and light flooded the odd blackness. Large fingers reached between his teeth and quickly found you. The back of your shirt was grabbed between the tips and he quickly pulled you from his skull.
Sans dangled you in front of him, grinning widely. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” you nodded as he dropped you into the palm of his hand. “Are you?”
“I’m fine,” he laid back down, settling you on his chest, head propped up a bit so he could still see you. “What were you doing on my head anyway?”
“I was trying to wake you up,” you explained, stretched out on his hoodie, making yourself comfortable.
“From the inside out?”
“No! I tried to wake you up and then when you jerked up I fell in!”
Sans chuckled, resting a hand over you as he let his head tilt back, eyes falling closed. “Let’s not try that again, okay?”
“Agreed.” You shut your own eyes and relaxed completely into the soft fabric beneath you. “G’night, Sans.”
The Eyes Have It
Ducky and Blue
In the end, Orange declared both of you guilty and put you both in the corner. He said it had been stupid, immature, and had impressed upon you that neither of you had any right to scare him like that. He sat Blue (and, by extension, you) in the corner, facing the wall, before stomping off, muttering about a stiff drink and a cigarette at Muffet’s.
The entire thing had started with a question. It wasn’t your fault Blue had been a willing participant. You’d watched him use his magic to chop up the vegetables for the night’s tacos and noticed that only his left eye lit up with the bright-blue magic.
“Why don’t both your eyes light up?” You’d asked, pointing at his sockets when he looked over at your voice.
“I dunno,” he shrugged with a thoughtful expression, turning back to scoop the veggies into a bowl. “It’s always been like that. I can’t make my right eye turn blue, though I can make both my eye lights disappear!” He turned to you suddenly, eyes blank and black, mouth pulled down in a scary expression.
Instead of being frightened, you leaned forward and poked at his socket. He pulled back before you could touch it. “What are you doing?” He pouted, disappointed he hadn’t scared you.
“I’m curious!” You waved his head back down and patted his cheek, examining the empty sockets. “Is there even anything in your skull?”
Blue drew his brows down, pouting teeth moving to a line. “I don’t know,” he confessed. “I’ve never wondered about it. I’ve always just been…me.”
“Well, you have a good head on your shoulders.”
“AGH! Not the puns! Papy is a bad influence!”
“The worst,” you agreed. “So, can I like, stick my hand in there?”
The eye lights reappeared in widened sockets, and you found a very startled expression mere feet from your own. “What? No!”
“But I’m curious!” You wheedled, grinning up at him, knowing he could be just as much of a curious cat as yourself at times. “Don’t you want to know what’s in your head?”
“I am in my head! That is all that needs to be there.” Rolling your eyes, you leaned forward and patted his cheek. “C’mon, it won’t hurt! Don’t be such a babybones!” “I am not a babybones!” Blue pouted, setting the knife and cutting board in the sink and putting his hands on his hips.
“Then let me take a look!”
“Ugh, fine!” He leaned forward and rested his chin on the counter top. “Just don’t – don’t break anything in here.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t break your brain.”
“I’m a skeleton, I don’t have a brain!” He harrumphed but flicked out his eye lights, leaving you with two empty sockets. You could faintly see the inner curves of his skull, now illuminated by the kitchen light. Odd; when he had his eye lights up, it was like there was a black curtain behind them, blocking any reflections. Now, you could see into his head.
“It’s like an empty bowling ball!” You stuck your whole upper body into his skull, leaning over the bottom of his eye socket.
“Hey!” Blue flailed his arms a bit but did his best to keep his head still. “Don’t go inside my head!”
“Why not?” You didn’t move any farther, however, simply looked about the smooth surface of the inside of his skull. There was no brain matter, which was to be expected – he was a skeleton after all. His squirming made you pause. “This doesn’t hurt, does it?”
“No, it just feels funny,” he grunted. “Are you done? I need to finish dinner.”
That sparked an idea – a positively wicked idea – and you wiggled until your feet were firmly back on the counter and looking at his face from the outside. “Blue, we should play a prank on Orange!”
“Oh?” Blue leaned back and rubbed at his sockets, relighting his pupils and focusing on you.
“Yeah!” You bounced a bit. “What if I hang out from your eye and we pretend I’m stuck! Won’t he freak?”
Blue frowned. “That doesn’t sound like much fun – a prank should make everybody laugh, not scare people.”
You rolled your eyes a bit, and in that movement Blue couldn’t see any of the original timidity you’d had in you when he’d first adopted you. “He’ll know it’s a joke, Blue. Please? It’ll be funny!” You clasped your hands in front of your chest and stuck out your bottom lip, tilting your head just so. “Please?”
“Ugh, fine!” Blue huffed, just as the front door popped open to admit the punny, orange skeleton. Still looking a bit reluctant, Blue scooped you up and turned out his eye lights. He plopped you – feet first this time – in his left eye socket. You hung over the thick bone at your waist, grinning wickedly as Orange came into the kitchen.
“Hey bro, what’s cooooooooooh my stars!”
The candy cigarette in Orange’s mouth dropped to the floor as his jaw went slack, eyes widening. He stood rooted to the spot, taking in the sight of you two.
“Oh my stars,” he gasped again, suddenly rushing forward. “Blue, what happened? Are you alright? Are you okay Ducky? What happened to you two?” He fretted over the both of you, sweat beading on his skull. “What should I do? Should I call Asgore? He knows healing magic…”
That was when you started giggling, and Blue began to grin once more. The panicked look on Orange’s face turned to confusion, quickly followed by annoyance as you tumbled from your precarious post. Blue moved to catch you, though he needn’t have bothered – you fell straight into his bandana, caught in the soft folds. Still giggling, you rolled over to look up at the stormy look on Orange’s face.
He was certainly less than pleased, which had led to you and Blue being put in time out while he muttered to himself as he left for Muffet’s. Now, as the two of you stared at the wall, your lips began to curl.
“Heh. He was freaked.”
“Shhhhh! We’re in trouble!”
“It was funny!”
“No it wasn’t.”
Despite his denial, his grin stretched a bit.
“Oh c’mon, the look on his face? The way he jumped like a frightened Chihuahua? It was hilarious!”
Blue snorted a bit, but quickly tried to cover it. “No, no, it wasn’t funny!” He smothered another chuckle.
“Fine, it wasn’t funny.” Still grinning, you watched the wall, idly kicking your feet when you realized something was wrong. “Blue – where’s my other shoe?”
Eye Am Not Amused
Mobsy and Indigo
“I don’t like this,” you declared, opening and closing your fingers around empty air, longing for the feel of steel rod beneath them.
“It’s not exactly a cake walk for me, either.” Mobsy – god, he hated that nickname, which was why you used it. “Just sit tight.”
“Like I can do anything else.” You crossed your arms in a pout and sat against the curved, pitted surface behind you. It was comfortable, you had to admit – aside from the suffocating darkness and the fact that you were, technically, trapped, it wasn’t a bad place to sit and rest.
“Just be quiet,” Mobsy snapped, and the surface beneath you tilted a bit as he moved his head. “They’ll be here soon.”
You listened for all of half a minute. “So why isn’t there any light in here? I mean, you have two huge eye sockets, a nose-hole, and, like, gaps between your teeth, right? Shouldn’t I be able to see them? It should be like being inside a jack-o-lantern, shouldn’t it?”
A long-suffering sigh that echoed all around you, like a movie played on surround-sound, was your only answer. Your pursed your lips and tapped your fingers against the rough bone beneath you.
“Stop that, it feels weird.” The surface tilted a bit and you barely caught yourself. “It looks like that cause of magic, okay? Now shut up and sit still.”
“Fine,” you grumbled, “No need to be an ass about it.”
He growled, which sent shivers up your spine – you were sitting at the base of his skull, where it connected to the rest of his body, meaning you were right above his throat and the magical organs that provided his voice.
Several more moments passed in silence, then the bone vibrated once more. “They’re here. No matter what happens, be quiet and don’t move.”
You obeyed, knowing better than to go against that tone of voice. Outside of the bone (which was brilliant for picking up noises – the thugs voices were loud and clear to you), several people began to bellow.
“Well, well, if it isn’t the short stack.” A deep, gravelly voice greeted
“The shortest,” Mobsy responded with levity, forced cheer in his voice.
“Heh, cute. So, you know the drill.”
“It’s been a few months since our last date. Remind me, sweetums?”
The world rocked sharply to the side, and you barely bit your lip in time to keep a yelp of shock in.
“It’s coming back to me.” Mobsy slowly rolled his head back upright, and you just as slowly laid down on your side, minimizing the chance you had of falling if he got hit again.
In all the training the Mob Clan had given you, being quiet while sitting in Sans skull while he was being beaten for information was not one of the situations you’d foreseen.
“Good. Now, why were you sneakin’ around in our ‘offices’?”
“Your offices? Yeesh, ya might wanna ask yer boss fer an upgrade.”
The world tilted again as he was hit, and you closed your eyes and held back a pained whimper when your head bounced off the inside of his own.
“Tell me: What. Are. You. Doing. Here.”
“I don’t think your clearance is high enough for me to answer that.”
Once more the world rocked around you, accompanied by a sharp cracking sound this time. Mobsy snarled in pain, and you cringed at the thought of another scar on his face.
“Heh, you hit like a whimsun.”
Oooh, that was blood, wasn’t it? And skeletons didn’t bleed, meaning it was your blood. You ran a hand through your hair and felt warmth staining your roots, while more dripped from your nose, seeping between your lips to coat your tongue in copper. Heh, maybe you and Mobsy would have matching scars by the end of this.
Mobsy made a low moan in his throat, sounding a little dazed by that last hit. Then again, he may have been moaning to cover your own groan of pain.
“Careful, boys,” he growled, “You know I’ve only got one HP to spare.”
“Heh. We know just how much you can take.” A soft tapping echoed, as though someone was bouncing their fingers off Mobsy’s head. “This isn’t our first rodeo with a Sans.”
“You’ve been cheating on me with other clans? I’m hurt.”
The gravelly voice laughed. “Not yet you’re not.”
“AND YOU WON’T BE!”
The voice was accompanied by a loud ‘bang’ as a door (or wall, or window…there was no telling with this particular skeleton) was knocked down. Unlike some other iterations from other clans, your tall skeleton wasn’t partial to monologue-ing the villains. Instead, a quick succession of ‘thwaks’ and ‘smacks’ echoed outside the skull you were stuck in, followed by the sound of bodies hitting the floor.
“SANS, YOU LAZY BONES! YOU AREN’T EVEN TIED UP!”
“I couldn’t leave the evidence behind, Paps. Big Boss woulda had my ass.”
“You don’t have an ass!”
“Sans, I can hear the Reader, but I don’t see them. Where are they?”
You sat up (now that Mobsy’s head had stilled, no longer being knocked about by the idiot thug) and watched as a line of light opened in front of you. Without waiting for you Mobsy, you crawled across the bottom of his skull and poked your head out between his teeth.
“Hi, Stretch!” You waved a bit, and the tall, sharply-dressed skeleton frowned at both of you.
“I do not believe that is sanitary,” he remarked, leaning his bone club up against one shoulder and tilting his fedora back with his free hand.
Mobsy, since he didn’t need to move his teeth to speak, easily spoke around you, voice not muffled at all. “Eh, we bathe ‘em at least once a week.”
“Yeah, I’m clean!”
You paused, then reached up and touched your nose and hair. They came away bloody, and Stretch leaned forward and held his hand out for you to crawl into. The bone club disappeared, magic disappearing to settle back into his bones.
“Honestly, I cannot leave you two alone for a moment without you getting into trouble.” He grumbled, running a thumb over the new cracks on Mobsy’s face. “I expect this from you, Indigo, but Sans you should really be a better role model!”
“Me?” Mobsy ducked away from his worrying little brother and began to move about the lab once again, picking up where the two of you had left off. “It was their idea to hide in my skull!”
“Liar!” You accused cheerfully as Stretch settled you in the breast pocket of his impeccable suit, feeling a bit light headed from the hit you’d taken. “Hey, where’d you put my sword?”
Mobsy picked the scalpel you carried with you from his pocket, but ignored your grabby hands and put it back in his pocket. He gathered up the papers Big Boss wanted, then turned to his bro. “Okay, all done, let’s go before Indi stains your suit.”
Stretch waited until his brother was passing him to smack the back of his head. “Honestly, Sans, your manners are appalling.” He handed you a piece of monster candy as he followed Mobsy out of the lab, and you sucked on it happily, doing your best to forget the past fifteen minutes of odd, jarring interrogation.
One thing was for sure – you were never sneaking out on a mission with Sans again!