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LETS GET BACK TOGETHER (AND STAY TOGETHER)

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Close Without Being Close.

 

ESRD>> is when the kidneys stop working well enough for you to live without dialysis or a transplant. This kind of kidney failure is permanent. It cannot be fixed. Most cases of ESRD are caused by diabetes or high blood pressure.

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At 4am,Jimin falls to the bed with Jungkook straddling his hips in a haste.

 

His hands grips onto Jungkook's slim waist, and he smirked up at the panting, eager young man.

 

" In a rush today?" He says teasingly, running his finger tips under Jungkook's black obey t-shirt.

 

" It was a long day" Jungkook whines, grinding himself down onto Jimin's quickly hardening length.

 

Jimin hisses and tightened his grip stifling the tortuous movements of the sexy boy on top of him.

 

Jungkook slips his t-shirt over his head, exposing his defined chest and collar bones that he knew would drive Jimin crazy.

 

 

" God, Jungkook..you're so fucking sexy" Jimin groaned and bucked up, as Jungkook thrusts down and he moans a broken version of Jimin's name in response.

 

Jungkook leans down and latches his lips to Jimin's plush ones, they kiss like that slowly, sensually in a slow burning desperation. Jimin bites down on Jungkook's bottom lip and the latter whimpers in pleasure, grinding even more, punching a groan from Jimin's throat.

 

" Okay, that's enough" Jimin growls when he cannot take it anymore and he shoots up, clutching a now smiling Jungkook to his chest, and he grinds his prominent erection to Jungkook's clothed hole.

 

 

They groan, loud and impatient and finally, finally Jimin makes haste and lifts Jungkook a bit off of his lap. Desperate for that skin on skin feel.

 

 

" I thought you'd never let up you ass!" Jungkook pants when Jimin finally rids them both of their clothes with a teasing smile.

 

Said clothes laying at the foot of the bed.

 

Jimin mouthed at Jungkook's jaw and the latter's eyes slide shut as his body is seized with tingles. He grips at Jimin's back, digging his nails in when he feels the tip of Jimin's length pressing at his hole, as Jimin aligns his aching length there.

 

 

He sinks down on to Jimin's slick length, and the sound of skin against the latex of the condom has Jungkook's face red in a burning heat. His jaw goes slack and Jimin groans into his neck, exhaling as if he'd been waiting.

 

Jimin lays back with a dazed expression, his lips raw from Jungkook biting them mere minutes ago, and he waits for Jungkook to make his move.

 

 

Jungkook groans, biting down on his bottom lip as he adjusts to the pulsating, hard ridge inside him and he meets Jimin's eyes, filled with heated lust.

 

And then Jungkook starts to roll his hips, agonizingly slow and Jimin's back arches off the bed as Jungkook tight heat squeezes, applying pressure in the most right way.

 

" Fuck, fuck fuck" Jimin mewls in pleasure, resisting the urge to buck up or flip them over.

 

Jungkook smirks, and he places his hands on Jimin's heavily breathing chest, before he picks up the pace bouncing up and down on Jimin's length at a steady pace that knocks the breath out of him and he moans a broken version of Jimin's name as Jimin's length grazes his sweet spot and instinctively, he pulls back, slowing down.

 

"Shit" he breathes, already feeling his stomach burning in anticipation of his impending climax.

 

 

" Already?" Jimin chuckles with a smirk.

 

Jimin just loves how easily Jungkook gets riled up. Its even better because he knows its only for his cock.

 

 

" Shut up Jimin" he pants, and he slips off completely, holding in a dissatisfied whine at the feeling of emptiness, and Jimin groans in turn.

 

Jimin props himself onto his elbow's in confusion as he stares up at Jungkook's who stands with wobbly legs, trying to compose himself.

 

After Jungkook doesn't make a move for what feels like centuries, Jimin decides to get off the bed, only to have Jungkook push him back again with an annoyed, lust filled expression.

 

" ' The fuck you doing?" Jungkook growls and settles back into Jimin's lap.

 

 

Jimin tries so hard not to make the way his dick twitched visible.

 

But Fuck, when Jungkook curses though!

 

" I thought we were done? You didn't want to go anymore? Since you basically slipped off my---" Jimin was saying, but Jungkook smashes his lips to Jimin's hotly, sucking on Jimin's already swollen lips.

 

" I was about come you Butt-head" Jungkook pants in between sucking on Jimin's bottom lip, as If that explains it all.

 

Jimin laughed against Jungkook's mouth, and then he pulled back to gaze at Jungkook, with an expression that makes the latter's heart stutter.

 

Its filled with too much adoration, too much...

 

 

Love.

 

And Jungkook shuts his eyes then he grinds his hips to Jimin's length, urging the former to move.

 

 

And Jimin does.

 

 

He lifts Jungkook's trembling body a bit and then helps Jungkook sink down onto his length again, and he shifts on the bed, planting his feet flat onto the bed, finding the perfect angle to thrust up deep into Jungkook, as the other sinks down again.

 

Jungkook's body racks with pleasure and his toes curl as Jimin thrusts into him, sharp and quick, and he digs fingers into Jimin's chest, his body burning from the inside out.

 

 

" J-jimin...fuck!..I want...please" Jungkook pants deliriously incoherent, his thighs starting to hurt as he sinks down, bouncing on Jimin's engorged length.

 

 

" Jungkook..."Jimin groans in understanding, his body burning hot from the very tip of his toes to the top of his head and he flips them over so that he's on top.

 

 

He lifts Jungkook's right leg over his shoulder, and he starts pounding ruthlessly into Jungkook's gaping hole, so ready to just rip him apart with how much he wants Jungkook. The sight of where they connect so lewd to Jimin, he cannot contain himself.

 

 

The new angle allows Jimin to go deeper and Jungkook cries out every single time Jimin nails his prostrate making his toes curl and his throat hurt from the constant, hoarse moans that tumble from his lips.

 

Jimin's breath hits his neck in puffs, and his thrusts become sloppy and slow, indicating his nearing end.

 

Jungkook's eyes screw shut in pleasure and he clenched around Jimin, as the burning in his core spills over, his length grazing Jimin's wash board abs deliciously with every thrust and he comes with a loud cry of bliss, shooting his load all over their stomachs.

 

 

Jimin follows suit soon after, unable to withstand Jungkook's cries and the way the latter squeezes him for all his worth, and he fills up the condom with a groan that tumbles into Jungkook's waiting lips.

 

 

They ride out their orgasms, moaning into each other's mouths and then they fall to the bed side by side, their sweat covered bodies, limp and languid in the after glow.

 

 

Jungkook looks over at Jimin who's hair is flattened to his forehead with sweat and he knows, he knows Jimin is waiting for him to decide what happens next, because as always, Jimin doesn't cross any of Jungkook's boundaries.

 

 

So he scoots closer, placing his head on Jimin's heavy breathing chest and finally, Jimin's arm comes up around his shoulders, holding him so gently, as if he's afraid he'd break.

 

Jimin's mouth opens and then closes again, as if he'd planned on saying something, but decided against it.

 

" What?" Jungkook asks after a little yawn, sleepily tracing circles on Jimin's chest.

 

 

Jimin turns his flushed face to him and as usual, he feels that lilting feeling to the world around them.

 

Its scary to him and he just wants to hide.

 

 

"Jungkook...why don't we just get back together?" Jimin asks, already knowing the answer, but still hoping none the less.

 

Jungkook,-- as expected---, stiffened in his embrace, the sleepiness forgotten in light of the things that he cannot face and Jimin resists the urge to sigh and just tighten his arms anyway, to hold Jungkook so tight, that he cannot leave.

 

 

But he doesn't. He just watches as Jungkook moves out of his reach with an apologetic smile and even that is so beautiful it tears him apart.

 

 

" We can't. You know that" is all Jungkook says.

 

 

And then he slowly reaches for his clothes that lay discarded on the floor, wincing at the pain in his lower back, that and the many marks that mar Jimin's body, the only evidence that this actually happened.

 

 

Jimin sits up after a little bit and helps Jungkook find his clothes, to make it easier on himself and his crushing disappointment and also, easier for Jungkook to leave and not see him break down.

 

 

" Ill see you tomorrow?" Jungkook asks as he kisses Jimin's lips sweetly and pulls back to give him a reassuring smile.

 

Its such a contrast, to the way Jimin's insides are twisted in a pain that stings like the savory taste of salt.

 

 

Jimin smiles back and Just nods his head before he leans forward to claim Jungkook lips yet again and the latter doesn't miss how his own body presses closer, craving Jimin's heat.

 

After minutes of licking into each other's mouth sensually, Jungkook snakes his hand between them and pushes gently against Jimin's chest to break their kiss before they get carried away again.

 

Jimin let's him go with a laugh and he looks back one more time to catch Jimin's smile falter before he decides he cannot handle anymore of that and disappears around the corner of the apartment block.

 

 

______****_______

 

Its been exactly two years since Jimin and Jungkook had broken up and the months there after, were the worst.

 

Every time they'd come across each other in a coffee shop or at the library, they'd just stare and then Jungkook would be the first to run out.

 

Which is ironic, because Jungkook was the one that had broken up with Jimin.

 

So shouldn't Jimin be the one to run out?

 

 

 

No one could understand why they had broken up and honestly, neither did Jimin.

 

It just happened so suddenly and Jimin was left crumbling on the inside because Jungkook couldn't even look him in the eye as he said the words.

 

' Let's just break up'.

 

 

He never thought he'd hear those words from his cute boyfriend that dotes on him.

 

They were doing great, like Jungkook was doing well that semester and Jimin's dance classes took off immensely. So much so, that he expanded his studio with Hosoek.

 

 

They even met each other's parents, they wore matching clothes and they were always there to support each other, even the sex was great.

 

 

So why did they break up?!

 

Actually, why did Jungkook break up with him when he gave their relationship his all?!

 

 

Jimin just didn't know the answer to those questions and every time he brought it up, Jungkook would just walk away.

 

 

 

 

So, its confusing as to how they ended up fucking again.

 

Well funny story, Jimin didn't cry or go on a rampage because he could handle himself better-- since he's a grown up 21 year old--- But it didn't mean he didn't hurt or that he didn't want to hook up just to forget.

 

 

He was just into more of a FWB type of thing. Since it holds a sense of dedication, like they fuck and that's it. So he only took an interest in people who'd be down with that instead of just fvcking random guys ( or girls depending).

 

One night though, he just went out with his---no THEIR--friends after making them walk on eggs around the fact that Jungkook and he were no longer an item.

 

 

They didn't want to make it awkward, but of course splitting time between Jimin and Jungkook wasn't really ideal or a good thing for their friendship.

 

So both, Jimin and Jungkook agreed that they weren't about to get into a fight or something.

 

 

Of course, they all went out together and Jimin dressed to the nines, not like he needed to, because for some abnormal reason, he always looks good. No matter if its faded sweats or something.

 

 

Jungkook on the other hand, he looked fucking sinful---all red leather Jacket, white tight fitting tank top and even tighter leather Skinny--- and Jimin couldn't keep his eyes off his ex boyfriend as Jungkook weaved through the throng of sweaty bodies to dance with some sexy stranger.

 

 

Everyone from their seven member friend group, was either hooking up or drinking and since Yoongi was the DJ, Jimin could only slip him a few drinks at a time. That left him quite sober himself though and since Jungkook was out dancing, the latter had been the odd one out as well.

 

Jimin was sitting at the bar one minute and the next he was dancing with a cute freshman---Sunyoul as he recalls the name---and then for some reason, his partner was switched and when he looked into the face of Jungkook, his eyes widened.

 

" Oh c'mon Jimin, you like to dance, I like to dance so let's just dance" Jungkook had said and rolled his hips against Jimin's.

 

Of course they danced and the way Jungkook was grinding his ass against Jimin's half hard length made Jimin's self control wane and he gripped Jungkook's hips and pulled the other to his chest, grinding with a purpose.

 

 

Jungkook let out a gasp and he had been totally on board with that however, loving the pressure of Jimin's hardened length to his ass and he turned around to tug Jimin by the front of his shirt ,out of the sea of dancing bodies and into a dingy, rancid smelling bathroom stall.

 

 

That was the first time they hooked up as ex boyfriends and the following morning, they'd just split the cab fair and Jimin was forced to push it to the back of his mind because Jungkook wouldn't even look at him as they drove back to campus.

 

 

 

 

The week there after, Jimin had been sitting in the very back of the library, pouring over book after book, looking for material for his thesis, when Jungkook slid into the seat opposite him with a heavy sigh.

 

He looked up from his book, and his breath got knocked out of him with the way Jungkook looked, the sunlight hitting his cheek bones in just the right way, his pink lips slick and inviting and finally, Jungkook's eyes were burning with so much intensity, Jimin questioned whether he was alive or not. He was smothered, over powered by Jungkook, like all the time.

 

 

" So look, we broke up and I know you don't like the hook up scene and actually, I don't want to do much of that either. Now here's what I propose, and you can say no, because I'd totally understand but let's look at the options here first" Jungkook had said all business like, swiping his (distracting) tongue across his bottom lip.

 

Feeling like he was stung, Jimin had dropped his pen to the book and leaned back in his chair,folding his arms across his chest, eagerly waiting for what Jungkook wanted to say anyway.

 

" Okay, I'm listening"

 

 

Jungkook fell into his 'proposal' with vigor and Jimin was once again reminded that Jeon Jungkook is more than just a pretty face. He was also a smart ass and aspiring tough business man that can sell ice to an eskimo.

 

 

Jimin listened intently and he couldn't help but agree, Jungkook DID make some persuasive points.

 

 

That's the second time they hooked up and the official start of their whole, FWB/ FWE '(fucking with my ex') relationship and they fucked right there in the library with Jungkook biting into Jimin's shoulder to quiet his moans as Jimin pounded into him ruthlessly on ground.

 

So yeah, that's what happened and Jimin would definitely be lying if he'd said that he didn't think it was a bad idea. Unfortunately, he couldn't really say anything when Jungkook kept digging the heel of his shoe into Jimin's lower back, urging him to go harder.

 

 

 

They had tried to keep it from their friends because of course it wouldn't make any sense. Like, they just broke up and now they're fucking on the regular again?

 

What is that even?

 

 

Unfortunately, Jungkook doesn't always know the meaning of 'be quiet' and one night too many, they were yet again fucking against the floor to ceiling mirrors of Jimin's dance studio when they'd gotten a surprise visit.

 

They didn't think that Hosoek would be coming in for a late practice though, so when the door opened in a clatter, Jimin tried hard to withdraw and stop, but Jungkook was so far gone and he just couldn't hold off his orgasm, so he tightened his legs around Jimin's waist, trapping him there.

 

 

Like I said, the sex was great and shame, poor Hosoek never wanted to dance that late at night again.

 

 

Since it was Hosoek who had come across it, its safe to say that it spread like a rapid fire, between the friends and they all were stunned in their disbelief.

 

 

" Why don't you just get back together?" Taehyung had asked Jimin one day.

 

Jimin just shrugged his shoulders.

 

 

He didn't know, he didn't even think about that, especially since Jungkook never gave him time to think.

 

 

It was always, a text, a place and they'd be fucking like rabbits and his mind clouds over with Jungkook's cries to 'go harder' and 'please please let me come'.

 

So, where exactly does he get a chance to think about anything?

 

 

 

______****_______

 

Jimin bolted from his apartment at a speed of eighty and he quickly sent Taehyung a message to let him know that he'd be a bit late.

 

 

They all agreed to meet up at Namjoon's bar to celebrate reaching the end of the semester and Jimin is hit with a sense of De'ja'vu.

 

It was on the last day of the semester a year ago, that Jimin had given Jungkook a key to his apartment, asked him to officially be his boyfriend and Jungkook had happily agreed.

 

Believe it or not, that was the very first time they'd had sex and Jimin was happy. So very happy.

 

" Get your head out of your butt, we don't have time to stand around" Yoongi muttered and clapped him on the back.

 

 

" Right" Jimin said quickly and snapped out of his very own head. He hadn't even realized he stood in front of Namjoon's bar, just staring into space.

 

 

He entered and he checked the clock on the very top of the wall behind the bar, it was just after eight that he'd arrived.

 

 

" Jiminie!" Hosoek yelled and came barreling toward him. The elder scooped him up into a bone crunching hug, as if he hadn't seen Jimin just the day before.

 

 

Jimin smiles over Hosoek's shoulder, but his smile falters because he doesn't miss the the look of sadness that passes on Taehyung's usually happy face.

 

 

 

He just wishes that those two would get their shit together and later that night after countless drinks and drinking games, he had said it.

 

Everyone just scoffed drunkenly and Taehyung shoved him playfully into the corner of the booth, snickering.

 

" That'll never happen Jiminie, it'll just fucking suck for the rest of our lives because we're blind and stubborn and 'm not good enough" Taehyung snorted in his drunken euphoria.

 

And he looked so close to crying, that Jimin's chest constricted in pain, so he just crushed a laugh-crying Taehyung to his chest.

 

Namjoon carted their eldest friend --Jin--over his shoulder, and made sure to carry him up to their shared apartment above Namjoon's bar.

 

 

Yoongi, well he was just laying on the couch, with shades on looking grumpy even as he sleeps and no one had the balls to even try waking him from his alcohol induced sleep.

 

Hosoek was nowhere to be found. Probably off with some random human he lured in.

 

 

 

Jungkook arrived an hour later, looking puffy in the face as if he'd just woken up, probably the result of too much pre-celebratory alcohol.

" Hey, I'll walk with you" Jungkook offered and Jimin didn't try to refuse.

 

 

Taehyung was either hyper or a very emotionally confused drunk and right now, it was the latter of the two. So back up, is needed for obvious reasons.

 

 

The three of them get into a cab and between the two of them--Jimin and Jungkook---,they manage to calm Taehyung down enough to tuck him into bed.

 

Jimin places a peck on his sleeping friend's forehead and Jungkook watches him from Taehyung's door way.

 

Jimin turns around with a yawn and he stretches his tired limbs and so he doesn't notice Jungkook's expression.

 

Which is good, because otherwise he might hope. He'd want to ask again, he might want to try and save what scrap of relationship they have and try to get Jungkook to be with him again.

 

 

 

_______****_________

 

The winter holiday came so quickly, Jimin felt like he'd just blinked and now he lived in a world of rainy days and snow.

 

He felt giddy inside, and a sense of nostalgia when he'd gone into Namjoon's bar as per usual to see everyone putting up trimmings before they leave for winter break.

 

" Heads up!" Came Taehyung's deep excitedly rumble.

 

Jimin catches the flying trimmings just in time and Taehyung comes bounding to him singing christmas carols at the top of his lungs.

 

" Okay, you're too excited, what are you planning this holiday?" Jimin asks curiously, a bit suspicious too.

 

Especially since Taehyung almost always had plans that ended up in Jimin having to come pick him up or they're both too wasted and end up sleeping on a pavement.

 

" Har har. I'm actually going to see my family" Taehyung beams at him.

 

Jimin feels his chest bubble in happiness. At least now, he wouldn't have to worry that his friend was out drinking himself into a stupor because of someone like Hosoek.

 

" I'm glad. This way you'd--"

 

" And Hosoek is coming too" Taehyung cuts in bashfully.

 

Jimin frowns in confusion.

 

" What do you mean?" He asks slowly.

 

Taehyung flushes from head to toe and falls into the explanation of how Hosoek had came to him mere nights ago.

 

 

Jimin listens intently and he finds himself wishing that it could be that easy for him and Jungkook.

 

That Jungkook would just admit that he's just as in love with Jimin, as Jimin is in love with him.

 

That Jungkook will actually stay the night with him and talk about his different Anime theories.

 

That Jungkook will just stay...

 

 

" I'm happy for you Tae, you have no idea" Jimin says sincerely and Taehyung's face crumbles and he squeezes Jimin for all he's worth, squeezing him so tight he cannot breath.

 

Almost as if he wanted to keep Jimin together, and Jimin becomes worried, because is he really that transparent?

 

If so, why is Jungkook continuing this whole facade of FWE when he knows how much Jimin hurts inside?.

 

 

They celebrate and everyone congratulates the new pair that they affectionately dub 'TaeSoek'.

 

Jimin watches Hosoek prop a sleeping Taehyung's head onto his shoulder and the smile that plays across the man's face, he can never associate with the guy who didn't even look at Taehyung before.

 

Of course, he knows now its because Hosoek was afraid. He was being a coward and he didn't think he deserved to want Taehyung like that.

 

Jimin's line of vision slips from 'TaeSoek' and it falls to Jungkook who's drunkenly giggling into Yoongi's neck. Vaguely, he wonders if its the same for Jungkook.

 

Is Jungkook also afraid to want Jimin even though he already has him wrapped around his little finger?

 

Even though its so clear to everyone with eyes, that Jimin wants him to want him back?

 

 

Their eyes meet across the room and to Jimin, the world slows and everything blurs together. He sees no one but Jungkook, he hears no one but Jungkook...until it all goes silent because Jungkook drags his eyes away, depriving Jimin of his light---love.

 

Jimin gets up off the coach with a fluid movement, more better than he feels inside. So dark and heavy with the solid weight of his broken heart laying shattered in his core.

 

" Good night guys, take care of yourselves please" he says with a small smile on lips, and clearly, it doesn't reach his eyes, because all his friends eventually hop up, drunk as fuck and they pull him into a tight hug.

 

Also, like they're trying to put him back together.

 

He chokes a laugh and pushes them all back saying ' I'm fine' until they all step back and fall back into their seats.

 

 

They watch him go and he knows that his shoulders are hunched over, because he feels that keeping his head low is the only way to block the tears that claw at him so savagely.

 

 

 

Walking back to his apartment, he curses inwardly. He just doesn't know why it got this bad. When he even started feeling this heavily.

 

Its always been there, the crushing hope, the pain , the unrequited love...

 

It just didn't suffocate him as much as this very day.

 

Upon reaching his door, he helplessly fell into his apartment, praying to everything that is holy, that a drunken Jungkook wouldn't show up to soil his sheets.

 

He just wouldn't be able to handle Jungkook like that, moaning his name when the boy won't say it just to please him, when it won't be because he misses him.

 

God, he misses Jungkook so much. For more than just his body, for more than just his witty conversation, his great sense of humor...

 

Its his presence. The idea that he can home and Jungkook will be curled up in his blanket, smiling up at him and STAY with him.

 

 

He just wants to hold him, hold him so close and say ' I love you' like the days before, except, he wants Jungkook to say it back with certainty this time.

 

_______***_______

 

A week into Jimin's holiday, everything felt empty to him and had no point. Sadly, he couldn't even hit up his friends, because everyone had left except for Jungkook apparently.

 

 

He eyes his phone for what feels like a million centuries before he dives across his bed for the device that lay prone.

 

It had been ringing and buzzing with texts all this past few days and he hadn't had the courage to check them. To no surprise, a lot of them were from Jungkook, amongst other things.

 

So clearly, Jeon Jungkook was just as alone as he was right now and it tugged at his heart in confusing ways. He was kinda relieved to know that he was the only one that Jungkook wanted.

 

On the flip side, he was pissed off that, this was the only thing Jungkook wanted him for.

 

It seared him like a burning hot fire poker to acknowledge that Jungkook didn't want HIM. Only his dick, or so it seems.

 

He went to Jungkook's contact and decided he'd type him a message to come over. Even if they would only fuck and Jungkook would leave, it would also break some of Jimin's loneliness.

 

He hadn't sent a text to Jungkook like this since their break up, its always stuff pertaining to a meet up with the friends and Jungkook would always text him about meeting up.

 

 

 

 

 

Three sharp knocks on Jimin's door, throws him off completely because Jungkook just shoots him a text and he knows the door is always open, so he barges in and usually jumps Jimin right there.

 

 

" Hi?" Jimin breathes feeling a bit uncertain with new the situation.

 

" You didn't accept my calls or read my texts" Jungkook says instead and his whole body language screams upset and affronted-ness.

 

" I know" is all Jimin can say, as he rakes his eyes over Jungkook that looks breathtaking in a black pea-coat, his mop of black hair covered by a haphazardly placed Beanie.

 

" YOU called ME." Jungkook states, and clearly, he's just as confused, but the twinkle in his eyes seems to make him look smug.

 

" Uhm..yeah. But..you uh " Jimin says quickly, only to trail off because he's still not used to it all. The whole fucking idea of FWE, is just..absurd to him.

 

Yet of course, he'd been doing it for this long.

 

Jungkook's sweet tinkling laughter breaks him out of his thoughts and his eyes flash up to Jungkook's flushed face.

 

" You see? This is why I make all the plans, why I make the decisions." The younger snorts.

 

 

And Jimin cannot help the smile that creeps across his lips, because Jungkook is so cute and sassy and just adorable like this, so at ease and its beautiful to him because for once, Jungkook isn't just moaning into his mouth. But they're TALKING again.

 

 

" Okay, so, I don't feel like being indoors today Jimin" Jungkook states after a beat and he tugs Jimin out by the hand, leading him down the hallway as he bubbles about the plans he's making.

 

 

Jimin listened intently, feeling giddy in his stomach.

 

 

 

They ended up at Jungkook's favorite thrift shop and Jimin got to sit on a futon and laugh his ass off with all the crazy clothes Jungkook was fitting on.

 

Doesn't mean it didn't look good though. It looked too fucking good if he's honest.

 

Jungkook dashes around the shop once more and he grabs various, scary looking items.

 

" C'mon, let's see how you look in this" he cooed to Jimin and alarm clocks go off in Jimin's head, but Jimin could never say no when Jungkook was glowing like that.

 

 

So he gets up with a sigh and follows Jungkook inside the tiny little fitting room.

 

He slips his t-shirt over his head and he reaches for the skimpy looking vest that Jungkook has in his hands.

 

But Jungkook steps forward with a smirk and he slips the vest over Jimin's head, running his fingers over the muscle as he goes.

 

Jimin's core is stabbed with lust and his arms wind around Jungkook's waist, pulling him flush against his chest.

 

For minutes on end, they just stare at each other, and breath in the air stuck between them. Then Jungkook leans forward and he brushes his lips to Jimin's so softly, that Jimin isn't even sure it was real.

 

And Jimin takes a moment before he dives in and kisses Jungkook hard. Like they always do, sucking Jungkook's bottom lip between his teeth, only to have Jungkook whimper and slow them down, once again kissing slowly, ghosting his soft lips against Jimin's frantic plush ones.

 

 

Jimin is confused, they don't do this. They don't brush lips so softly, so gently.

 

He runs his hands lower on Jungkook's body, to cup the boy's voluptuous ass that he'd been ogling mere minutes ago.

 

As he expected, Jungkook let's out a breathy groan and he arches into Jimin, deepening the kiss while he tangled is fingers into Jimin's hair and Jimin's heart seems to calm down because THIS is normal.

 

Sadly, it dawns on him that if they have sex here, their day would be over and he doesn't want it to end just yet.

 

On the other hand, he cannot comprehend this whole change in the way they surge together. It FEELS too much. Its making hope bloom in his chest and he cannot afford to hope anymore.

 

" Jimin..wait" Jungkook pants, pushing slightly against Jimin's chest and the latter cannot help the relief that flows in his chest.

 

" Why?" He breathes against Jungkook's addicting lips, despite his inner relief.

 

 

" We still have the whole day" Jungkook says and the surprise is evident on Jimin's face and Jungkook is surprised himself at his own words.

 

 

They share a smile that makes Jimin's heart constrict and he steals small glances from Jungkook who's putting the clothes back together with an expression of internal confusion.

 

 

" You know, we used to do this a lot?" Jungkook says quietly as they make their way down a familiar road.

 

Jimin hums in ascent but he doesn't look at Jungkook because he knows. He knows these things so well because this was their 'thing'.

 

They'd go out together and Jungkook would whine to go to the thrift shop even though he's already bought all their selected items on sale.

 

Then they'd take slow walks down this very road and feed each other ice creams --okay, Jungkook would make smears on Jimin's cheeks and laugh, but that's beside the point.

 

 

They had fun talking about the stupidest things and they didn't want the day to end. But at the same time they did, so that they could be alone and just cuddle up on the couch with each other.

 

...

 

 

That day, they end up back at Jimin's apartment. Except, Jimin is the one to initiate any sexual intercourse. Feeling that maybe if they did something more along their normal lines, he wouldn't have these stupid thoughts about their past and suspicion around everything they did today.

 

 

_______****_______

 

" Let's go to the swimming pool" Jungkook says firmly and adds a little nod to emphasis.

 

Jimin does a back step and he looks between Jungkook's eyes and the raging snow outside.

 

" What?!" He squeaks after a minute of trying to see if the other was kidding or not.

 

Jungkook sighs and he falls into a seat opposite Jimin, the music of the coffee shop they're in, only a soft lull in the back ground.

 

" C'mon, we haven't been there since what?.. Was it a year ago?" Jungkook speculates, and his face scrunched up cutely as he mulls it over.

 

" Uh, yeah it was. But seriously, the pool? Its freezing outside. Literally" Jimin exclaims incredulously.

 

Jungkook rolls his eyes and Jimin resists the urge to grab him by the jaw and kiss him senseless for being so sassy.

 

" I know that. The indoor pools no duh" Jungkook responds cheekily.

 

Jimin shakes his head in defeat. Its really no point when Jungkook is being all sassy.

 

 

Jungkook orders another blueberry muffin and picks it apart systematically, while Jimin sips at his coffee asking himself...

 

' What are we doing here?'.

 

 

 

 

 

They eventually leave the coffee shop and only upon reaching the indoor swimming pools, does it dawn on Jimin, that neither of them had bothered with swimming trunks.

 

" Jungkook, we gotta head back to the apartment" he said in a near panic as it dawned on him.

 

" Why?" Jungkook asked with an indignant expression.

 

Jimin stops and he pulls Jungkook closer by the hand with a sigh.

 

How can he explain that he doesn't want to go in there without trunks?

 

Actually, he knows what Jungkook intends to do here. They used to do it all the time and the feeling of water surrounding their already heated bodies and the way Jungkook's cries of pleasure echoed...

 

It was mind blowing.

 

" I just...I want this moments to go on a bit longer. I want to be with you more before I have to wake up to an empty bed, or walk away with your teeth marks in my neck" Jimin says and he meets Jungkook's eyes. Hoping to convey his feelings without scaring Jungkook off.

 

And Jungkook must understand, either that or he's gone sick because he places a soft kiss to Jimin's lips and he tugs him inside anyway.

 

" I just wanted to swim" Jungkook promises.

 

 

They strip and Jungkook wastes no time to dive head first into the clear blue water, so warm and refreshing.

 

" good?" Jimin asks dipping his toes in cautiously.

 

 

Jungkook sputters a laugh as he comes back up and spews some water from his mouth like a little 5 year old boy. So care free and Jimin is enraptured by the beauty of it all.

 

By the beauty of Jungkook.

 

" C'mere and find out for yourself" Jungkook smirks at him and splashes a wave of water on Jimin's legs.

 

Jimin's eyes narrow in amusement and he dives in as well, going straight down to the bottom to tug Jungkook by his ankle.

 

Jungkook goes under with a shriek and wiggles against Jimin's hold on him, under the water for a few minutes before they both come back up for a huge gulp of much needed air.

 

They swim until their muscles are aching and they're panting in an effort to breath when they eventually saddle up to the edge of the pool.

 

Jimin's hair is flattened to his forehead and he moves it out of his eyes, vaguely aware of the fact that it needs a cut, when he finds Jungkook eyes boring into his face.

 

" What?" He asks feeling self-conscious and he messes his hair up again.

 

" I'm just...I like looking at you. Watching you move..." Jungkook murmurs into the quiet only disturbed by their heavy breathing.

 

Jimin stares at Jungkook, overcome by confusion and once again that feeling in his pit.

 

" Hey! Snap out of that" Jungkook orders and he splashes Jimin in the face again.

 

Trying to lighten the air that seemed to become so thick.

 

Jimin takes a minute and then he caught Jungkook's hand in a tight grip. He pulled the latter close to his body.

 

" Don't do that." Jimin says quietly and his eyes burn into Jungkook's saucer wide orbs with an otherworldly intensity.

 

 

Saying those words, Jimin doesn't know what he's referring to, the splash of water? or...

 

Jungkook playing with his heart?

 

 

 

 

They don't have sex after it all, they just make out for hours on end because Jungkook seems to have new love for life and well, kissing Jimin, adoring his every crevice like a piece of gold, it seems and Jimin can never get enough of Jungkook.

 

 

Its the most at ease Jimin's been since the start of their little 'arrangement', hands down.

 

______****_______

 

Their friends come back near the end of the holidays, one by one in whirlwinds of joy and Jimin feels a bit reluctant to break all his time into sections.

 

Like, the entirety of the holiday, he'd spent all his time with Jungkook, hanging out and well, sometimes having sex.

 

It was tough of course, that with his growing confusion but he still didn't want it all to end just yet. Deep down, he felt like things were changing, he just didn't know to what.

 

 

" Jimiiiiiiiiiiin!" Taehyung shrieks as he comes barging into his apartment.

 

The little space seems to shatter with the ball of orange haired energy in it.

 

" Hi Tae, enjoy the trip?" Jimin says with a smile and he let's his friend squeeze the life out of him.

 

" Yes, although I missed you a lot! Next time you're coming too and I'm not taking no for an answer!" Taehyung gushes as he pulls back to do a once over of Jimin.

 

Jimin just rolls his eyes and he hands over a beer before Taehyung pulls him onto the couch.

 

The former sitting crossed legs facing Jimin with an expression of meditation.

 

" What? Is this something new you learned? Stare to death?" Jimin teases when he feels his cheeks color under Taehyung's intense gaze.

 

" No, I'm waiting for you to tell me what you've been up to? Clearly Jungkook has been around." Taehyung states with a sigh.

 

Jimin takes a gulp of his beer, mulling over in his head whether he should say something about the previous days, or not.

 

" We've been doing what we always do. Meet up, fuck and separate" he eventually parrots off.

 

Taehyung narrows his eyes and he lurches forward, grabbing a surprised Jimin by the jaw to look deep into his eyes.

 

" There's a lot more. Sure, you've been fucking, this couch even smells like sex!. But you, my dear Jimin, its always been more to you and I just don't know WHY you put yourself through it. STILL" Taehyung says matter of factly and then he pulls back.

 

" That was uncalled for Tae. Like, its been cool. I've been fine. I swear" Jimin mumbles a little annoyed at being reminded of his pathetic feelings.

 

" Yeah yeah. I swear though, one day, imma knock Jungkook's block with one of my 9 inch heels that I bought at christmas specials" Taehyung muses.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The last day of the winter break, Jimin decides to sleep in. However, the universe has something totally different planned for him because frantic knocking comes at his door and the window shakes with storm of wind outside.

 

" I'm coming!" He yells and reluctantly drags himself out of his bed.

 

He yanks the door open only to fall back against the wall with a yelp of shock, when Jungkook jumps onto him, knocking them both back in surprise.

 

He grabs for Jungkook's ass to hold him properly as Jungkook licks into his mouth with a passion that surprises him so much, that he cannot even reciprocate. Only let Jungkook steal his breath away.

 

 

Jungkook's fingers find his hair and he tugs painfully at Jimin's roots, making the other hiss into his mouth and squeeze hard at the amount of ass in his hands.

 

 

" Whoa whoa, Jungkook. Let's uhm take a minute here" Jimin manages against Jungkook's insistent lips.

 

"Why? We've been taking so much minutes...times running out" Jungkook half sobs back at Jimin.

 

That strikes a nerve and Jimin pulls back to look concerned at Jungkook.

 

" Hey? What's wrong?" He asks in alarm.

 

But Jungkook won't look him in the eye.

 

He walks them both to his bedroom, still holding Jungkook by the ass and then he puts Jungkook down onto the bed. He sinks down on to his knees, on eye level with Jungkook.

 

" Seriously, what's wrong? You look like you're ready to cry." Jimin murmurs again, and he runs his hands up and down Jungkook's tensed thighs.

 

Jungkook rolls his neck, stretching out kinks. " I'm fine. I'm just...so horny. You haven't made love to me in days Jimin" he sighs, seemingly having gained some much needed composure.

 

Jimin's eyes widen a fraction and then he frowns looking into Jungkook's face.

 

Made love?

 

That's what they've been doing?

 

It only felt like that to Jimin when the other wasn't turning to stone in his arms, or brushing off his more tender touches.

 

But making love?...How absurd.

 

" What?" Jimin squeaks in disbelief.

 

Jungkook scoots forward and settles into Jimin's lap on the floor. He trails little kisses into Jimin's neck and settles to nibble on his ear lobe.

 

" Yeah, now less talking Jimin and more kissing" Jungkook murmurs into his ear and a shiver runs across his sensitive skin.

 

He tilts his head up and there's an ominous shining in Jungkook's eyes, but he kisses him anyway, he nibbles on Jungkook's lips and Jungkook allows him to thrust his tongue inside, licking all over the area and Jungkook moans, tangling his fingers into Jimin's hair.

 

Jimin ventures into his neck and sucks at the sensitive skin and Jungkook grinds himself into Jimin's lap, his eyes falling closed in pleasure.

 

 

For once, they're not tearing at each other's clothes in frantic desperation. Instead, Jimin takes his time to remove the layers of clothes on Jungkook's body.

 

Jungkook settles back onto Jimin's unmade bed and his body trembles against the wind of the open window.

 

" You okay?" Jimin asks him quickly, raking his eyes over Jungkook's naked form.

 

Jungkook offers a nod, and he spreads his arms wide, beckoning to Jimin.

 

Jimin tears his eyes away from Jungkook, long enough to close the latch on the window and block out the disturbing wind.

 

He uses this time--with his back to Jungkook--- to compose himself.

 

 

 

Jungkook's body burns like a fever, hot and everything in his vision is swimming.

 

" Jimin, c'mon please~" he whines through his hallucinations.

 

Jimin settles with his knee on the bed, said bed dipping in and creaking in pain of being over used, it seems.

 

He crawls to Jungkook, never taking his eyes off Jungkook's glazed-over orbs and he cups the latter's face, kissing him gently, suddenly afraid to go too hard when Jungkook already looks so pale and fragile.

 

Jungkook groans and bucked up, impatient.

 

" Don't..." He breathes against Jimin's lips and he pulls back to look into Jimin's face.

 

" What?" Jimin pants hovering above him.

 

" Don't kiss me like that, I won't break" Jungkook says firmly. He places his hands on Jimin's shoulder's digging his nails in to emphasis.

 

Jimin nods his head and meets Jungkook lips halfway in a bruising kiss that makes his lips hurt in delicious, stinging pain. He skims his hands up and down Jungkook's side and he can feel the other's body trembling in his grasp.

 

Jungkook claws at Jimin's shoulders as the latter ventures into his neck, kissing him there diligently and he suckled Jungkook's nipples to a perked state, sending sparks of lust through his body, and Jungkook's back arches off the bed, pushing into Jimin.

 

" J-Jimin...you're taking..too long" Jungkook pants out and he bucks up again, desperate to feel some form of friction.

 

Jimin clamps a hard hand on his hip, holding him firmly to the bed and he whines in disapproval.

" Hold on"

 

He slips away from Jungkook's body and the other moans against the sudden cold hitting his body.

Jimin reaches for the clear liquid needed and he trickles a generous amount onto his fingers before he taps Jungkook on his outer thigh, making the other spread his legs wide.

 

Jungkook watches through hooded eyes and he flinched when Jimin thrust one finger inside him, sweat beading on his forehead as Jimin begins to thrust steadily, resisting the urge to fuck himself back harder onto the digit.

 

" God, Jimin. We've done this before, I can take it" he grunts out in frustration and for his cheeky remark, Jimin thrusts two more fingers inside, stretching him so much that his eyes sting.

 

Jimin thrust into Jungkook's hole quickly, curling his fingers into Jungkook's belly, and as his fingers graze the other's prostrate, he sucks a mark into Jungkook's inner thigh.

 

" This okay?" He murmurs smugly against the skin, licking over it.

 

And Jungkook can only yelp in response, his thighs tightening as his body convulses with pleasure.

 

Jimin withdraws just as Jungkook reaches peak and the latter's curses are muffled by turning his face into the pillow that smells all Jimin, making his head spin with heady concoction of desire and familiarity.

 

Jimin rips open a condom with his teeth, about to roll it onto his length when Jungkook catches his wrist, forcing his eyes to Jungkook's in question.

 

" I don't want that. Please..." Jungkook whispers with his face flushed and if Jimin didn't know any better, he'd swear that Jungkook was embarrassed.

 

So he leans forward and kisses Jungkook quickly.

" Okay" he says against Jungkook's trembling lips and he trickles the clear liquid onto his length with generosity.

 

Jimin settles between Jungkook's legs, holding his gaze as he wastes no time and eases himself inside. Just as he bottoms out, Jungkook's eyes fall shut in pleasure and Jimin's jaw goes slack.

 

 

Jungkook kisses Jimin's neck after a few long seconds, and Jimin takes it as affirmation to move.

 

And move he does.

 

He pulls out all the way, so that just the tip of his member stays pressed there, and then he slams back inside with a throaty groan and---

 

" Fvck!" Jungkook moans, his entire body lifting off the bed with the force of the thrust.

 

He tightens his leg around Jimin's waist, and the other sets a quick and hard rhythm, thrusting into Jungkook and the bed creaks and groans ominously and Jungkook scrambles for purchase on Jimin's shoulders, scratching lines down his tensed forearms.

 

 

They move like that, two waves surging together with a blinding force and Jungkook's body trembles with every thrust, the bundle of nerves inside him nailed hard, every single time. He runs his hands over Jimin's sweat slick back, panting against the other's shoulder.

 

 

Jimin's body burns hot, his muscles aching of holding himself up and he drops his face into Jungkook's neck, sucking on the skin as he moans and slows down his thrust, indicating his impending end.

 

He feels something wet and warm hit his outer ear and Jungkook's body shivers beneath him.

 

He lifts his face to look at Jungkook and the air leaves his lungs at the sight of tears streaming down the other's face.

 

He tries to sit up, but Jungkook cages him in by his neck, so that their faces are a breath's width apart.

 

" J-Jungkook?...does it hurt?. I'm sorry..." he breathes in alarm and moves to withdraw.

 

" No!..I'm fine, keep going..." Jungkook whimpers and digs the heel of his foot into Jimin's lower back.

 

Jimin unlatched Jungkook's hands from his neck to take them into his own.

 

" No, I can't do this. You're CRYING Jungkook!. What's wrong?! " Jimin asks and he withdraws, to sit up against the head body.

 

Jungkook sits up as well and the tears won't leave his face, so Jimin gathers him up and holds his shaking body to his chest.

 

" Jungkook? C'mon please" Jimin pleads, totally ignoring his erection that is standing painfully proud and beading at the tip.

 

Jungkook looks into Jimin's eyes and for the first time, Jimin can see fear and sadness that Jungkook's eyes masked all this time.

 

" Jimin, I'm dying" Jungkook whispers, sniffing

 

 

And Jimin's erection dies right then.

 

______****_______

 

" Jimin? Why do you still have a key to Jungkook's lake house? Are you not broken up?" Yoongi grumbles against the afternoon sun beating down on his hung over self.

 

They all move through the thicket of bushes. The property where the Jeon Lake house is situated, covered by it. So long that it has been alone.

 

Almost 2 years... and when Jimin opens the door, it creaks loud in sad greeting, as if Jimin were a long missed friend.

 

The silence...

 

 

The silence of the house is so loud that Jimin wants to run out screaming, or kick up a ruckus just so that it wouldn't feel so...

 

Dead.

 

 

" Yes, they are. God Yoongi! Where have you been this whole 3 years?!" Taehyung hisses at his grumpy hyung.

 

Yoongi doesn't spare--Taehyung-- 'this brat' a reply.

 

They all move around the spacious living room as if they're afraid to disturb the grand decor of real oak and the musty air of nature with all the figurines on the wall.

 

" So, I'm cutting to the point. why have you brought us here? Yes! Its weird you have a key still, but I don't care, what I want to know is why? Why isn't Jungkook here too? Why haven't either of you answered our calls since freaken the end of winter break??!" Jin shrieked, asking questions in a hysterical rapid fire, all aimed at Jimin.

 

 

Jimin pales with every word and he looks to Taehyung for some help, but even his energetic friend looks afraid and bedraggled

 

Worried...

 

" I can't say this to you, I can only show you. I mean...I didn't want this! I didn't want to do this!" Jimin yells and his eyes tear up and everyone so confused.

 

They all pale even more and the cold air in this house belies the warm heat of summer outside.

 

" Jimin! What the fuck are you talking about right now?! What the fuck!" Namjoon growls, narrowing his eyes at Jimin and he knows, this shit is no longer a joke.

 

Instead of giving them an answer, Jimin wipes at his eyes and he slips a USB stick into the flat screen in front of them.

 

The screen crackles and lights up to reveal a smiling Jungkook, his cute bunny teeth protruding and his cheeks strained with how wide he is smiling.

 

The video was made in his room on campus, the mess in the background indication of how he hadn't bothered to care what they thought.

 

So like Jungkook.

 

" Jungkook?" Hosoek breathes in confusion.

 

The video plays and everyone settles to listen and Jimin disappears into the kitchen to get some brandy.

...

 

\Start of Jungkook's pov/

___________________

 

I hope the camera's in a good angle. I really wouldn't want to look like hell if this is my last...

 

Anyway, My cheeks hurt and I really don't feel like smiling..

 

But I also don't want my friends to worry about me.

 

Today's the start of winter break and just another step to me having to come clean about the idiotic things I've done.

 

All the people I hurt.

 

God, will Jimin ever forgive me?

 

Namjoon?

 

Jin?

 

Yoongi?

 

Stupid and care free TaeSoek?

 

 

I just don't know and its not like I can expect that, I mean 3 years..that fucking long time to keep a secret. And they love me so much..

 

Never had I given it a thought of what would happen if they lost me..because the doctors said it could work out...I wouldn't have to say good bye.

 

Unless its my last resort.

 

Guess its my last resort.

 

 

" Hey guys! Miss me? I know you are. I'm glad to see you're all back at my empty lake house. I hope you use it well.." I say into the camera, trying to keep my never ending smile and voice even,

 

" What am I saying? Of course You'll use it well!. Its fucking summer break and we all know who likes to party yeah? Us...like, my six amazing friends who...who I love so much and probably want to shoot me for not being there right now..."

 

Wait!

 

Stop! I can't do this!

 

I need to get up. So I do, I go around my room tidying everything because suddenly it feels to cramped up, too busy when I'm about as lifeless inside as a freaken teaspoon.

 

Once there's nothing more too stall me, I take a deep breath.

 

Its no point anyway, by the time they get this video...ill most likely be dead or fucking rotting in some hospital with pipes running in and out of my veins.

 

I take a seat with a heavy sigh and I find that I cannot smile anymore... I just can't!

 

" Guys, firstly, if you're watching this...I want you to know that I'm sorry and I love you all so much I cannot even find words. I want you to know that I appreciate everything you've ever done for me.

 

•Taehyung--Tae--TaeTae...for being my first friend, the only person who didn't shy away from my terrible case of rhinitus and didn't even flinch when I sneezed right in your face on our first meeting. For just saying ' buck up and go for it bitch' when I tried to back out when some dick head tried to steal Jimin away from me. For being there man and driving me crazy like the kid brother I never had, even though you're older.

 

•Namjoon...for being the dad I never had, for being my mentor, someone I could look up to and trust with my most perverted thoughts and feelings. For never downing me even though I was always making shit at your bar.

 

•Hosoek...for being that ray of sunshine that kept my bad days at bay, never yelling at me when I'm so sick in the head with --'foul mood syndrome'--as you call it. For never giving up on me when I get so much shit wrong and always motivating me of a better day ahead. For being my brother.

 

Jin... God, I know you SAY that you hate when I call you 'my momma', but I know you don't. Thank you for always being there when I want to have a melt down, thank you for having the most embarrassing talk of ' being a bottom' with me when I finally decided that I wanted to give it up. Thank you for all the warm milk and cookies when exams hit me hard. Thank you for all the support since I became part of this group of 7 sicknesses.

 

 

•Yoongi... Yoongi..yoongi...I know you're thinking ' what the actual fuck?! This brat' so its okay. You can call me that all you want. Hell, thank you for being that supportive grandpa that always kept me laughing( even when you didn't know it) when the pressure was on, thank you for beating up those many pricks who didn't take no for answer and tried to grope me anyway. Thank you for never judging me without a harsh eye. Fvck thanks for always keeping it real and being genuine. For being my crazy elder brother.

 

Guys, I fucking love you and I'm gonna miss every single one of you and I'm sorry for doing it like this.

 

I just couldn't look you in the eye because I'm a coward, please forgive me for this.

 

 

•And Jimin. My sweet Jimin.

 

Last but definitely not the least...

 

Jimin, there's so much I could say, but I can never fully explain how I feel when it comes to you, but I'll start small.

 

Thank you for never hurting me, for cherishing me, for loving me as long as you did.

 

Thank you for being so forgiving even though I'm sure I hurt you the most. Thank you holding my hand on our first date instead of trying to grope my ass.

 

Thank you being so cute as to apologize for the erection you sported after our very first kiss.

 

Thank you for existing and making me get butterflies in my stomach when you looked my way, thank you for always making me smile and wiping my tears away. For being ready to commit blue murder if I ever cried...

 

I love you so much, I've always loved you, and I always will no matter if we're separated and once again, I'm so sorry for doing this to you.

 

For starting our stupid arrangement, for being a coward and not being able to let you go when you so much deserved the truth instead or at least allowing you to try and love someone else.

 

Park Jimin, I love you, I love you, I love you! And don't ever forget it."I sobbed and wiped at my face trying to stop.

 

But its just going, and going now, my tears, all my fears, all my sadness that I've kept at bay for three fucking years...

 

If I'm honest, those were the best three years of my fvcking life.

 

"

Yes, I bet you're all wondering where I'm going with all this, what's the point?!!..

 

Well this is it, guys, I'm dying. This fucking ESRD***has been slowly killing me for three years like some dormant fucking monster, eating away at my liver and my life span and i did well to hide with medication.

 

However, there's nothing more these asshole doctors can do. My body cannot take any more of this, I'm in pain and I can't do this anymore.

 

I wanted to keep this a secret for as long as I could or at least until I found a second kidney. Now, I know you're thinking ' this piss-pot! He could've told us and we'd have all gone to see if we match'. Yeah, I know you'd have done that.

 

But how long would I have lived?

 

Jimin, you always asked me why don't we get back together? This is why because I wouldn't have been able to sta---"

 

 

 

\ end Jungkook's Pov/

____________________

 

Yoongi ripped the USB out and threw It on the floor, surprising everyone and ripping them out of their shock and teary eyed haze.

 

His eyes fell hot and furious on Jimin and Taehyung, but he went at Jimin.

 

He grabbed Jimin by the neck and threw him into the wall, choking him for all he was worth.

 

Everyone else was yelling for him to stop and tried to pull him off, but he just wouldn't let go.

 

" If this is some sick prank you and Jungkook thought up with Tae, its no longer fucking funny!!" Yoongi growled into Jimin's face.

 

Jimin didn't say anything, he was just...silent and stoic. He didn't even try to fight against it. He just...let Yoongi choke him.

 

 

Namjoon ripped Yoongi off of Jimin and stepped between them , looking into each and every one of their tear stained faces.

 

" We can't be mad at Jimin. And I'm sure this is as real as it fucking gets...--" Namjoon said slowly, trying to maintain a semblance of a cool.

 

" But fucking Jungkook! Dying...what the hell is this?!! Just fucking tell me please! I.. " Taehyung sobbed and he beat at his thighs with balled up fists until Hosoek took him into his arms and let the other wet his shirt with snot and tears.

 

Jin was the only one who maintained a smidgen of composure and he looked at Jimin, clearly seeing how fvcked up he was feeling inside, realizing how fucking long Jimin had to hold all this, how shocked he must have been because he had to go through it all alone.

 

" Jimin...where is Jungkook now?" He asked softly, as if talking to an animal ready to bolt.

 

 

Jimin's eyes clouded over and he sank to the floor, Taehyung broke out Hosoek's arms to gather Jimin into his arms.

 

" He left. He fucking left to Cambridge, back to his parents. He said...he said he wanted to die there. Where he wouldn't have to see our faces in pain. He didn't want us to cry or..." Jimin couldn't continue, he just sobbed into Taehyung, who's tears wouldn't stop rolling.

 

 

" I guess we all know what we're doing now don't we?" Jin asked looking around him and meeting their eyes.

 

Everyone looked grim. But determined.

 

 

 

 

_______****_______

 

The lobby of the Cambridge was empty except for nurses and doctors.

 

That until the doors opened to reveal the six of them--Hosoek, Namjoon, Taehyung,Jin, Yoongi and Jimin-- all dressed in black leather jackets and skinnies and converse on their feet---, not smiling but the air they brought with them was filled with warmth, laughter, friendship and family.

 

 

" We're here to see Jeon Jungkook" Jin states looking at the reception nurse over the rim of his glasses.

 

The lady does a double take of all of them and stares with wide eyes.

 

" A-all of you?" She squeaks.

 

Yoongi growled from behind Taehyung and he pushed the younger out of the way and marched up to the receptionist, shoving Jin off the side as well.

 

" Yeah, now don't bullshit with me bout fvcking hospital rules because I don't give a shit and I don't give a fvck. Now where the fvck is Jungkook's room?!!" Yoongi snarls at her and he doesn't even bother with taking off his shades.

 

His voice is scary enough.

 

" 1303" she blurts out with a blushing face.

 

They all leave her and Taehyung pats her on the back, popping his lollipop out of his mouth.

 

" I'm sorry bout that, and thank you" he says quickly before he hears Yoongi bark at him to hurry up.

 

Taehyung waves and then he makes haste.

 

...

 

 

 

Jungkook sits miserably in his hospital bed and he tries so hard not to glare at the boring beige of his hospital room

 

" This thing barely covers my ass" he whines sullenly to the nurse to draws more blood from him.

 

He doesn't even flinch, already used to the sting of the thick needles.

 

Said nurse just hummed and left, closing the door softly.

 

 

With a sigh, he settles back down on the bed. He's so tired.

 

Tired of fighting this, he just decided that he'd give it all up.

 

He's lived his life and had the pleasure of meeting six amazing human beings and he doesn't give a shit about the others. Not anymore.

 

 

" Guys...I love you, thank you" he whispers again into the air.

 

 

And then the door bursts open and he shoots up in alarm, totally forgoing his abdominal pain.

 

His eyes widen every time one of his friends step into the room wearing the biggest smiles--Taehyung, Hosoek, Namjoon,Jin, Yoongi---and finally, his heart lurches at the sight of Jimin with orange hair.

 

" G-guys?" He breathes in utter shock.

 

" Yeah dick-wad, you think you could away from us that easy did you?! Brat!" Yoongi mutters, but his suspicious wiping under his glasses makes Jungkook's lips twitch.

 

They all bombard the room and settle on various surfaces, with Jimin beside Jungkook on the bed.

 

" Don't ever do this again" Taehyung mumbles sleepily to Jungkook's blanket clad foot.

 

The jet lag finally kicking in and they're all sleepy, crashing right where they are.

 

The door opens to reveal that same nurse from the reception table, her face set in a grim line of disapproval of the young men all scattered across the room.

 

And Yoongi hops up, he crosses his arms, looking tiny but intimidating and she closes the door softly, scurrying away.

 

In the quiet of their sleeping friend's soft snores, Jimin clasps Jungkook's hand tightyly, as if he's afraid that Jungkook would disappear.

 

And Jungkook wants to stay as well...

" Jimin?" He breathes sleepily.

 

"Yeah?" Jimin murmurs and sits up quickly, looking down into Jungkook's pale face.

 

" I love you okay? I've always loved you. Please...don't..forget...about me..." Jungkook breathes.

 

_______****_______

 

In the morning light of an autumn friday, the 'group of seven sicknesses' all suit up and get ready to brace the day.

 

Smiles.

 

That's all that they keep on their face, even all the way to the Oakland cemetary, they're smiling.

 

Even when they all line up and drop a flower into a coffin, something they'd never have dreamed of doing in all their years of friendship.

 

Jimin drops a rose onto Jungkook's pale and lifeless body, laying prone and pale in the coffin lined with his favorite color blue.

 

" Jungkook...I love you" he murmurs against his own self and he kisses Jungkook's cold, hard lips. His heart gripped with a heavy grieve in knowing that those lips will never again move hotly with his own, or brush teasingly across his cheeks...

 

" No tears remember?" Namjoon says as he steps up beside Jimin. He squeezes the younger's shoulder to give some composure.

 

 

Everyone takes a turn to drop a flower and say their last words before they all line up and Yoongi steps forward to read a verse from the bible.

 

 

And then the coffin is being lowered into the ground, yet still, no tears Just like Jungkook wanted.

 

Never to be forgotten though.

 

Jeon Jungkook.

________________

The most amazing human being to ever grace this' seven sicknesses' as he called the group.

 

We, your friends, your six sicknesses, your family...

We will always love you.

 

______________________