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Slayer, Not Slayer

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"Oh, definitely," Xander agreed. "John Smith -- total Watcher."

Giles rolled his eyes and pretended to be engrossed in counting the day's receipts.

"Joan of Arc -- no wait, never mind, too obvious." Willow chewed on the pencil in her mouth, thinking. "Oooh. Eleanor of Aquitaine?"

Buffy crinkled her nose and then shook her head. "Not slayer," she said.

"She lived too long, for one thing," Anya said. Three heads swung her way. Anya frowned in confusion. "What?"

Xander and Buffy looked at Anya, and then turned back to Willow.

"Anne Boleyn," she said.

"Slayer," said Buffy. "But one of the crazy ones."

Anya snorted. "Oh, if you only knew."

"Relying on actual personal knowledge is cheating," Willow reminded her. She tapped the pencil against the table. "Mary, Queen of Scotts."

"Not slayer," Buffy said. "But I bet Elizabeth was."

"Oh, right," said Anya, "like she had the time for that."

"Marie Antoinette," said Willow, ignoring her.

"What is this," Buffy asked, "Queens who were executed? Not slayer."

"Fine," said Willow. "Hypatia."


"Ancient Greek math chick," said Xander. The girls turned to look at him and even Giles looked up from the till. "What? I pay attention sometimes."

"OK," said Buffy, "you decide, then."

"Not slayer," said Xander. "But still totally hot."

"Totally," Willow agreed.

"Ooooh, I have one," Anya said. "Mary Richards!" She sat back, pleased with herself.
Buffy blinked at her. "Do you mean, like, the TV one? The Mary Tyler Moore Show one?

"Yes!" said Anya, nodding brightly. "You can argue both ways, see?"

"Uh, she's fictional," said Xander.

"So?" Anya looked at the others for support. She folded her arms and slunk back into her chair. "I hate this game."
Willow rolled her eyes and turned back to Buffy. "Miriam."

"Miriam who?" Buffy said. "Oh, from the Bible? Was she the one that cut off the general's head?"

"No, that was Judith," said Willow. "Miriam saved Moses as a baby and then led the people in song."

"Slayers do not sing," Buffy said firmly.

"OK, let's try another biblical heroine," Willow said. "Esther."
Buffy shook her head. "Not a clue."

"I know this one!" Xander raised his hand, then put it down when everyone stared at him.

"She's the one who's like Cinderella and Inigo Montaya combined."

"This is in the Bible?" Buffy asked, skeptical.

"Yes," Willow said, shooting Xander an annoyed look. "She marries the king and saves all her people from an evil vizier. And she's got an older male cousin or uncle or something who's always standing around, telling her to be strong and not falter in the face of evil and so on."

"Cool," Buffy said. "I like it. Esther the Vampire Slayer it is."