"And for the next round, we have a game called 'This is my' where we bring on a special guest for one of the teams, and the other team has to guess who the special guest belongs to! This week, please welcome Lee!" Rob Brydon said into the camera. There were gasps of surprise from audience and panellists alike when Lee Mack stepped up onto the stage between David Mitchell's team and Rob. Not many people had noticed he had left his team captain seat at the other table. Lee bowed and the audience clapped.
"Okay, let's start with you, Ross Noble. Ross, how do you know Lee?" Rob said, and the audience went quiet to listen.
"Alright. This is Lee, and he and I met when I drove my motorbike into the back of his car," Ross explained, tucking a loose strand of long hair behind his ear.
"Thank you. And what about you, James May? How do you know Lee?"
"This is Lee, and we met at a meeting of OCD Anonymous, but we became friends when he came over to colour-coordinate my books," James said over the audience's laughter.
"It is so that one!" Jimmy Carr called from the other team's table. The audience laughed again.
"Hush Mr Carr. Lastly, David. Sorry I skipped over you, I like to make the autocue people angry," Rob grinned before going on, "So how do you know Lee?"
"This is Lee, and he is my-" David froze.
"Come on, David. Out with it, man!" Rob said, watching the team captain, who was unfrozen and had his head in his hands. David mumbled something, too low for the microphones to pick up.
"Boyfriend!" David yelled suddenly, lifting his head. "This is Lee, and he is my boyfriend!"
Wolf whistles and cheers erupted from the audience and panellists. David hid behind his hands again until the noise died down.
"Lee's team, who do you think it is? Ross' bumper buddy, James' OCD buddy, or David's butt-buddy!" Rob asked, earning a glare from David.
"Oh like it isn't obvious," Jimmy said, raising his eyebrows at Rob.
"Just play the game, will you?" Rob replied, waving away Jimmy's comment.
"Okay, okay. Let's start with Ross," Eve Myles said, patting her teammate's shoulder, "we know you drive motorbikes; you drove in on one, but Lee's an ape, and therefore wouldn't be able to drive, so that one's bullshit. Next-"
"Woah, woah, woah! Slow down, will you?" Jimmy said, holding his hands up and interrupting the audience's laughter.
"You want to get through this, don't you? We already know which one it is!" Eve said, looking at Jimmy. Jimmy paused.
"Yeah, you're right. James, watching Top Gear has taught me you do indeed have OCD, but I also know Lee does not. So unless he was going to this OCD Anonymous meeting to pick up chicks, and we've already established he's an ape. I think it's safe to say you story is crap as well," Jimmy said.
"Can I just ask, did either Richard or Jeremy write mine? That was ridiculous!" James said, holding up a hand. Jimmy laughed with the audience before continuing.
"Which leaves David," he turned to the team captain with a smile.
Everyone was silent, waiting to see what would happen.
"I've been on this show several times. And each time, you two have not been able to keep your eyes of each other. You have no idea how happy I am that it has finally happened. Congratuwelldone," Jimmy said, still smiling. He started clapping. Eve joined in, and soon the entire studio was cheering and clapping. Some people were even standing.
"Rob, Jimmy and I think that David is telling the truth," Eve said. The room fell silent again to hear the verdict.
"Lee, could you please reveal who you are?" Rob asked, turning to Lee.
"I am Lee Mack, and David Mitchell is my boyfriend."