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Loving a Lion

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The inquisitor was not a very hard man to read, he often said just what he was thinking and wore his heart on his sleeve. It was a quality that many admired the qunari for, some every said it made him seem more reliable as Inquisitor. That being said, Rami Adaar had one big secret. He had absolutely, without a doubt unexplainably fallen for one Commander Cullen Rutherford. It had happened gradually he supposed, of course at first there was just attraction. (He reasoned with himself that anyone could fall for such a handsome face.) Then after he got to know him the more he was taken with how dedicated he was at leading their forces, the way he smiled, and his humor. However, he couldn’t let anyone know. If someone else knew it might actually get back to Cullen and he wanted to keep his ridiculous crush to himself. And he definitely didn’t want his brother to know. If word got to Faelyn that his mage brother had a thing for their commander who was a former Templar Faelyn may actually attempt to murder Cullen while the man slept. Rami’s brother was very, very protective.

However, even as large as Skyhold is somehow people started finding out. It all started with Leliana, but of course it started with his spymaster. She was the best at her job after all. It was the middle of the day when he went up to meet with her. Even though it was still early on for him he had already had a day full of meetings with nobles and then running around with Sera making fun of the same nobles. Leliana greeted him with a smile offering him a chair as far away from her crows as possible. They had once tried to land on Rami’s horns and he had avoided them ever since. She began explaining what reports she had gotten from her agents as Rami tried his hardest to listen and not yawn. It wasn’t that he wasn’t interested he was just very tired, though next he was meeting with Cullen. The thought made him smile to himself.

“Inquisitor?” He heard Leliana say. When he looked up she was sat with her arms crossed but didn’t look angry at him.

“Hm?” He asks straightening himself back up in the hard wooden chair.

“You seem a little distracted. Is something on your mind?” She asks. ‘Oh no.’ He thinks internally ‘She’s doing that weird spy thing’.

“Nothing. I was just thinking about what else I have planned for the day and hoping that it’s better than this morning’s meet and greet.” He says trying to keep his voice even.

“And you’re going to see our commander next aren’t you?” She asks with an amused look on her face.

“Yes.” He replies carefully. To his surprise she lets out a small giggle.

“You know you really should talk to him about it.” At first he is too shocked to respond.

“I have no idea what you mean.” He finally answers getting up from his chair turning away from her to try and hide the red suddenly creeping up his neck.

“Oh but you do. I’m your spymaster, I know everything. Even about your little crush on Commander Cullen.” He knew at that point she had him. It was no use trying to keep it hidden from her.

“You won’t tell him will you?” He asks wringing his hands together.

“Of course not, I will leave that up to you.” She says and goes to lean over the edge of the railing looking down. He relaxes a little at her agreement and joins her. Well, he supposed it would be okay as long as only one person knew.

One person quickly turned into three. He had some rare time off from inquisitorial duties before dinner one night and decided to spend it in the tavern with Varric and Cole. It turned out to be a mistake. Varric was teaching both Rami and Cole a card game he played in Kirkwall just for fun when he wasn’t robbing people blind in Wicked Grace. This game was a lot less competitive and Rami had begun to finally get a grasp on how the game worked. He thought so anyway, Varric could have just been lying to make him feel better about losing. He did that sometimes.

“How’s the other half of our two inquisitors?” Varric asks as Rami fiddles with the cards in his hands.

“My brother has been spending a lot more of his time with Iron Bull recently. I suppose that means their relationship is doing well. Though sometimes I miss him breathing down my neck constantly. Don’t get me wrong, he still does but now he has a distraction.” Rami says with a smile despite the slight jealousy he feels towards his brother getting something that made him happy. His brother of all people deserved to be happy. Then as he gets lost in thought for just a moment Cole begins speaking in that strange way that says he’s reading someone.

“Blonde hair looks so soft like the down of a new born chick. Lips look just a soft despite the scar. How many nights have I dreamed of him? Wanting to be held, yearning for his touch. Warm brown eyes, look away when he glances in my direction. Brother would kill me if he knew.” Cole then stops and looks toward Rami. The inquisitor is far too surprised that Cole picked up on his thoughts to respond. He looks at Varric trying not to give anything away that hadn’t already been but the dwarf is already smirking.

“I don’t understand? If you love Cullen you should let him know so you can be happy together. Help each other’s hurt.” Cole says helpfully after just a second in which Rami feels like his face is burning.

“Now Varric, it’s really not like that. It was just-um, a passing thought. Yes. A thought that has passed.” He says frantically waving his hands in a dismissive manner.

“Watching him from across the dinner table as he makes idle conversation. How would it feel to kiss his neck? How would it feel to have his hands all over, sweat dripping-“

“Yes, thank you Cole! Maker please, stop right there.” Rami says hiding his face in his hands. Varric across the table has burst into laughter tossing his cards onto the table.

“So,” He starts trying to stifle his laughing fit. “You’ve got a thing for curly huh?” After Cole’s display there is no use trying to hide it from his friend.

“I have no idea what gave you that thought.” He says, his voice muffled by his hands.

“Kid, talk a walk. Me and Rami are gonna have a talk.” Varric says and without even looking up the qunari can see the disappointed look on Cole’s face. “We’ll finish the game later, promise.” Rami heaves a sigh finally removing his hands from his face. Varric still looks amused but not like he’s going to say anything too horrible. Rami had gotten pretty good at reading the dwarf.

“Well, now you and Leliana and Cole knows.” The inquisitor says putting his chin on his propped up hand.

“Doesn’t your brother know?” Varric asks taking a drink from his nearly forgotten mug.

“Maker no, I don’t want Cullen to wake up to my brother trying to strangle him one night.” He says seriously.

“You planning on telling Curly?” He shoots back not responding to the thought that Faelyn would seriously try to kill Cullen.

“I hadn’t planned on it, no. He’ll have plenty of worthy suitors later on I’m sure and he has too much to worry about with knowing about my ridiculous crush.” Varric simply shrugs.

“It isn’t that silly and besides you’re one of the inquisitors. He isn’t going to do much better than you. I think you should confess your feelings.” He says nonchalantly drinking more.

“Wait, you’re thinking about how you’re going to write this into the book about me aren’t you?” Rami realizes after just a moment.

“I’d be lying if I said no. Come on a romance between a former Templar and the mage inquisitor with both of you being male? People would eat it up, especially in Orlais. I could call it something like, Taming the Lion. A new best seller. But I also meant the advice seriously, I’m your friend. I’d like to see you happy once this is all said and done.” Rami couldn’t help but smile at that.

“Thanks Varric. You’re a good friend.” The two made a promise to continue their game the next day.

The next person to find out wasn’t actually a surprise. Rami and Dorian had gotten very close very quickly. At first he had just wanted the mage to feel welcome because he knew how it felt to be an outcast amongst people. Then the two had bonded. Some rumors said that they were lovers in secret. They both had a laugh at that more than once making it an inside joke to each other. Though, when Rami thought about it he realized he could see how people came to that assumption, the two spent a great deal of time together. At current they were in Rami’s quarters sharing a bottle of fine wine Dorian had acquired somehow. He was beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol and figured that he may as well come clean to his friend since others now knew.

“You know, I’ve really got a thing for Cullen.” He says leaning his head on Dorian’s shoulder being mindful of his horns. Dorian snorts and shifts on the couch to get more comfortable.

“I know, you’re hardly subtle when you stare at his ass as he passes by.” He says and Rami had suspected he already knew. It may have been the wine but it was a lot less shocking and a lot easy to talk about with Dorian.

“I only stare a little. How can you not when he’s so…perfect. With his face and ruffly feather coat thing. And oh maker his laugh.” He begins rambling.

“Talk like that might make me jealous love. Though, I can understand the appeal he’s just not my type, too small. I prefer a larger breed of lover.” Dorian says in reply and Rami can’t help but laugh.

“I just wish I wasn’t so afraid.” Dorian raises a perfect eyebrow.

“Afraid of Cullen?” He asks raising a hand to pet through Rami’s short blonde hair.

“Afraid of rejection mostly, afraid he’ll leave the inquisition, afraid he’ll hate me after.” He goes on closing his eyes. He’s began to feel slightly sleepy with the affection Dorian is giving him.

“Well, if he rejects you it’s his fault not yours. I doubt he’ll leave, he enjoys ordering around the soldiers. He won’t hate you even if he rejects you, he has far too much respect for you. Besides if things don’t work out you still have me. We’ll just get married and live happily ever after and I’ll get to laugh at the look on my father’s face when he learns I’ve married the dreaded inquisitor.” Dorian says confidently. Rami can’t help but smile at that feeling more reassured than he ever had. He suddenly felt very confident in deciding that he should just tell Cullen how he feels. It may take him a while to figure out exactly what to say but he would work on it.

“Thank you Dorian, you’re a good friend. Now, if you keep cuddling me I’m afraid we’ll fall asleep like this.” The next morning the two were in almost the same position as they were during their discussion the night before. Dorian had migrated so he was curled on the other end of the couch one hand hanging limply off of it. Rami got up slowly trying not to disturb the other sleeping mage.

As he popped his back two thoughts came to mind. The first was that he was going to do it, he was going to make his feelings known no matter what. The second was that his back was killing him and that the next time he and Dorian had a sleepover to make sure that they actually made it to the bed.