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It's Like We're On a Movie Screen

Chapter Text

It's not as if he actually planned to film himself for the damn thing. SHIELD would have his ass if he actually began doing it- not that he'd blame them. He's a spy, a secret sniper among the rooftops.

Not some civvie trying to make a living off of videos.

That wasn't his job.


Clank. Clank. It was a soothing, repetitive motion. Clank. Clank. Clank . Like one of his arrows. Just focusing on the task at hand… Clank. Clank .

The afternoon sun was beating down on Clint and everyone else around him. Every muscle ached and he felt as though he were about to melt. It was worth it, though.

The last couple weeks was...well, it wasn’t good. Not a bit good.

“Agent, you know I really don’t want to do this.”

“I know, sir, and I understand.”

“Agent Barton, you will be dismissed for your actions on attacking the helicarrier under Loki’s influence. You have undergone series of tests by SHIELD’s best therapists and counselors and we now await verdict by the World Security Council. Any questions, Agent?”

“No, sir.”

“You’ll be given full accommodations for your time away, and complete security watch. You will report in twice a day and will be required community service hours.”

“Understood, sir.”

“You are hereby dismissed until further notice.”

It hurt, knowing that he was technically no longer an agent of SHIELD. But Clint understood the Director’s actions. Even with all the power and charisma Fury held, it still wasn’t enough to go against the WSC.

“This is bullshit, Barton, you know I’d do more if I could.”

“I know, sir. I told you, I understand.”

“Good luck out there, Clint. Don’t get yourself into too much trouble.”

“Yessir….thanks, Nick.”

“Stay safe. Don’t let me hear you’re doing dumbass things, Clint. I want you back in my agency.”

It was perhaps one of the most sentimental things Nick Fury has ever said to Clint (the most being he approved of his and Coulson’s relationship.)

In all honesty though, Clint was really enjoying his time away from SHIELD. He had an excuse to leave the whispers that now followed him constantly and the painful reminders of Phil.

Now, though, he was given different more intimate reminders of what he’d done.

Clint saw the very lives of those he had affected- those who had lost innocent, loved ones and their homes. He had literally no excuse to feel sorry for himself here. Not with these people.

Not with the people who welcomed him with open arms and words of sympathy.

“Oh honey, welcome to our neighborhood. Did you lose someone in that awful invasion? Don’t worry, sweetie, you fit in just right here.”

“Hey, Colton, you can come to my place anytime you want company. Still got  beer and games after the attack. Seriously, dude. Anytime.”

“Here, my granddaughter baked me some brownies. Take some. Lord knows everyone needs to be shown kindness after the city was destroyed and good folks dead.”

It was like they knew what Clint did and were rubbing it in with salt. He didn’t deserve their kindness or their support- not after what he’d done.

Clank. Clank. Clank. God, it was so hot. Clint wiped his brow with a hardened, calloused hand. There was still much to be done, but less so since he arrived three months ago.

“Colton! Hey buddy!” that was Jack, he was a good guy- if a bit quirky. “Come grab some beer, Colt. You've been working awhile now.”

Bobby, Jack’s cousin, nodded in agreement. “That house ain’t gonna fix itself if you collapse because of exhaustion, bro. Take a break.”

Clint was torn. He had been working a while...but he was so close to being done. His parched throat and rumbling stomach begged to differ, though. With a resigned sigh, Clint gathered his tools and carefully put them into his working pouch. He slid down the ladder with now practiced ease and joined the men.

“Laura’s gonna bring some sandwiches soon… so, play it cool,” Jack smirked.

Ah. That’s why they called him down. It was no secret that Laura, Jack’s sister, liked him. Clint was pretty sure everyone was trying to bring them together. Normally, he wouldn’t hesitate to pursue her...but with Phil’s death still so raw, Clint knew it wouldn’t be fair to Laura.

“Naw, man. I’m not looking for a relationship. You know that.”

“Aw, c’mon Colt, you can’t deny she’s hot.”

He really couldn’t. Laura was gorgeous. Long, brown, wavy hair. Chocolate eyes. A slim figure- even with two kids. Laugh lines around a full mouth when she smiles. A dry sense of humor. Really, any person would be lucky to have her.

Which was why Clint couldn’t.

He had too much baggage for anyone- especially for this amazing woman with two fantastic children.

“Colton! Uncle Bobby, uncle Jack!”

Clint looked up at the sound of that, a wide grin spread over his lips.

“Lila Jean! Cooper my boy! Come give your dear uncle a hug!” Bobby laughed.

Lila and Cooper acquisted, both at once into Bobby’s welcoming arms, then to Jack’s. They shyly turned to Clint and his heart fucking melted . Aw hell.

“Hi Colt,” Lila smiled.

“Hi,” Cooper muttered.

“Hey guys. Have you been practicing your archery?” They both nodded eagerly. “Aw, man. Soon you’ll be even better than Hawkeye!”

The kids giggled at that.

“Hey boys,” Laura was walking toward them, bags in hand. “Mind helping a lady out?” She raised one brow.

Jack nudged him. “Yeah, Colt. Be all gentleman-y and help the lady out!”

Clint rolled his eyes but did as he was told. “Hey Laura. Thanks for bringing along food.”

“My pleasure, Colton. Thank you for helping our neighborhood out- really, you didn’t have to.”

“I want to- I really do.” And wasn’t that the truth of the century, ‘specially with what he’s done to contribute to this shit. He put down the bags and went to a clearer area. Clint spread his arms open, a playful smirk on his lips. “Hey Coop! Lila! Lemme show you this trick I learned a long time ago. Then we can eat!”

 

As the sun was setting, Clint gathered his things into a bag and onto his motorcycle. The damned thing was near untarnishable when he found her, but she’s in much better shape now. And when she first purred into life, Clint dubbed her Becca and painted her a nice, plum purple.

‘Cause why the hell not.

He smoothly rolled down New York’s backstreets and alleys with her, confident in his ability to navigate even with the low lighting. He was Hawkeye, after all. Even if nobody knew it.

Clint soon arrived to his apartment in Bedstuy, exhausted from a hard days work and ready to collapse.

However, that proved to be very problematic when he went in and he was immediatly encountered with a whining dog.

“Aw, Lucky, no.”

Of course, he couldn’t compete with a big, brown puppy eye. God. He’d be so screwed if a villian decided to use dogs against them...

Maybe he could just make Tony order a hundred boxes of pizza.

Yeah. That sounds just about right.

...go, Hawkeye.

Clint went out with Lucky, leash in hand as a very insistent canine pulled him along, pissing everywhere. When did this become a part of his everyday life?

His phone rang and- ah.

It was Cap.

“Clint! How’s your community service coming along? I heard you were doing your hours today.” Meaning Tont told him.

“A’right. Kinda crazy. With the heat and all.”

“Right. Well, we’ve got team training tomorrow. So, if you don’t mind…” Meaning it was required and he’s gotta pack an overnight bag for some ‘team bonding’ after training.

“‘Kay. I’ll be there tomorrow early. 0800 sharp.”

“Thanks. See you then!” The literal, walking definition of all that was good in America hung up.

Lucky looked back at him, pink tongue lolling out.

“You done, boy?” Clint asked hopefully.

The stupid dog just turned and tugged on his leash again. Clint groaned.

Aw, please, no.

Chapter Text

As promised, Clint was up early and already regretting it. If past experience was anything to go by, when tomorrow morning hits, he’d be sore as fuck.

Lucky was pressing his cold, wet nose into his neck. Clint grumbled in protest but the dog whined insistently. With a strangled groan, Clint got up and blearily watched his pizza dog. Ugh.

Honestly, he’d’ve been perfectly content to lay in bed for an eternity if given the chance. Lucky was doing him a favor and the damned dog knew it.

“C’mon then,” Clint’s speech was slurred from just being woken up.

Lucky wagged his tail, all wide awake and shit. Why did his dog have to be a morning one? Looking at the time, Clint noted it was 0645.

Right.

Training in 1 hour and 15 minutes.

Make coffee. Clothes. Piss. Take the dog out. Feed said dog. Run to the subway. Text Katey. Go to Stark’s tower. Promptly die. Revive around 2000. Drink. Pass out. Go home.

Sounded easy enough.

 

Clint was let into the tower by JARVIS. He went to the public elevator and was brought to the Stark Lobby. He got off and hopped onto a more secret, protected elevator that was led to the Common Floor of the Avengers Suite. Stark actually did a pretty decent job redesigning the Avengers section of the tower (not that he’d ever admit that to Stark- the bastard was already arrogant enough as it was.)

Thor was there to greet him. (Not really, because Jane Foster was there with him-presumably for a breakfast date.) It was a nice thought to think, though.

‘Nice thought to think’? What was he-five?

“Eye of the Hawk! How wondrous it is to greet a brother-in-arms!” Thor said in that boom-y voice of his. “I trust you already know the fair Lady Dr. Jane Foster?”

Clint winked, plopping his overnight bag on the ground. “I don’t believe I had the pleasure. But I’ve met your friend, Erik Selvig.”

“Oh yes, Erik told me about you. Thor did too, of course. You’re Clint Barton ‘Hawkeye.’”

Clint did an extravagant bow. “In the flesh.”

Jane laughed. “Well, I best be off then. You’re the last of the Avengers to arrive and Cap ‘call-me-Steve’ wants to begin early.” She turned to Thor. “I’ll see you later.”

Clint looked away as the couple kissed chastely.

“It was nice meeting you, Clint,” Jane smiled before leaving.

“You too,” Clint called. He watched as the physicist left. “Damn. You got real fucking lucky with her, man.”

Thor smiled smugly. “I am well aware of this, archer Clint. But I do request of you, as a friend and a shield brother, to desist and keep your hands-”

“Ew, no, please no more. Gross.” Clint interrupted quickly. “I mean, I can appreciate a great body when I see it, but I’m basically a Kinsey 10.” Of course, there was a lot more to his sexuality than that... but basically.

Although looking very relieved, Thor had a confused puppy look. “What is this ‘Kinsey 10’? I do not understand this Midgardian tradition, enlighten me.”

“I am very gay.”

“Then why did you not say thus so?” Thor guffawed.

Clint laughed with him. “It isn’t really something I share right away, but we’re bros- so, it’s okay.”

“I am humbled you think so, Clint Barton. Now come along, the good Captain is waiting.”

Clint walked companionably next to the thunder god, silent as the night as Thor rambled on. He always rather thought that was an odd expression and analogy. The night is never silent- in fact, it’s probably the most active time ever.

No one sees you because they can’t . If they can’t see you, you’re not there . It’s a basic fact everyone in the animal kingdom knows. The humans just hadn’t caught up yet. It’s why being a spy is so easy. Civvies aren’t perceptive enough to look past straining their eyes in the night and look at what’s right in front of their face. It was...actually kinda funny.

Which was probably why Clint struggled so much on the team. These aren’t measly humans who weren’t so easily fooled. They were gods, men in robotic suits, genetically modified humans. Clint wasn’t any of that. He was just like the people looking blindly through the thick veil of night- and he never wins. It wasn’t as though he’d catch up at that point, either.

It wasn’t fair sometimes.


Being pummeled into the ground was practically Clint’s entire life. After a long, gruesome spar with both Steve and Natasha, he was left to lick his wounds with Bruce to help him. That was essentially how each training night ended (with the exception of ‘no powers training,’ then it was Bruce, Clint, and Tony.)

Luckily, sparring with Steve hadn’t resulted in too serious injuries. However, Natasha knew all his strengths and weaknesses and wasn’t afraid to use it against him.

“Who’s turn is it to pick the movie?” Clint asked Bruce, wincing as the physicist wiped some alcohol over a minor gash on his arm.

“Sorry,” Bruce muttered, he quickly but efficiently bandaged the cut.  “It’s Tony's turn.”

Clint winced. It really depended on what the genius was feeling that day- sometimes, in Tony fashion, his selections in film were a tad bit.... precarious. “Am I good now?” Banner nodded so Clint got up and waved. “Kay, thanks Bruce!”

Bruce nodded with a tired smile. “No problem. Be careful and come check with me later, okay? I want to look at that cut again.”

“Sure.” Clint left the mini medbay situated on the training floor. It was fairly mediocre but enough for the minor injuries.

He felt kinda bad every time he got hurt in training and Bruce had to patch him up. Since Tony enforced the training floor to be Hulk proof, Steve had been urging Bruce to join them occasionally- today happened to be one of those days. Poor Bruce was exhausted after he de-Hulked and woke up. And he was the only human on the team needed medical attention (not needed, per se, just… forced.) Although the good doctor had reassured him he didn’t mind, Clint felt bad every time.

He headed towards his floor. He did live in Bedstuy but Tony insisted he keep a floor here- and it was nice, it really was. The floor contained a mini range that was not quite as long as the practice floor but was adequate enough for late night terrors. It had high-quality home appliances with a really comfy couch. Plus, Clint now had friends and not just co-workers.

It wasn’t quite home, but it was close.

“Jarvis, can you let everyone else know I’ll be down in half an hour? Thanks.” Clint headed for the bathroom- complete with a tub that had jet powered streams for bad aches and a shower that was fully adjustable to whatever he was feeling.

It wasn’t too long before he was done. From his overnight bag, Clint got out the comfiest purple sweatshirt he owned (courtesy of Natasha) and his favorite sweats (Phil’s old army ones.) Without socks, because fuck socks, he went down in the fuzzy bunny slippers Tony got him in as a gag gift.

“Eye of the Hawk!” Thor boomed, “Your presence is welcome, for friend Anthony has chosen.”

“Yeah? And what is it?” Clint asked, plopping in between Bruce and Natasha on the couch.

Steve answered for Thor, “Something called You-Tube.”

“Youtube? No, man! Team movie nights are meant for the cinematic arts. Not… mediocre 'films' produced by hormonal teenagers. Seriously,” Clint groaned.

“Just you wait, Artemis,” Stark smirked. “You’ll see.”

Auughh.

Chapter Text

Youtube is actually fucking amazing and Clint is surprised. You can watch people make a fool of themselves and non-creepily follow them. That in itself deserves a kudos.

It's also a place where you can be watching cooking videos one moment and the next thing you knew, you were watching dog porn.

It was almost magical.

 

Tony showed them something that was called ‘video surfacing’ where you start on one video and click something that piqued your interest on the left suggested side of the video. He also introduced some of the other youtubers he followed and let them watch some of that.

“H-how’s it going bros, my name is Peeewdiepie!” Apparently the guy on the screen was swedish and the most followed person on youtube.

“I actually met him once,” Tony commented absentmindedly. “At a tech convention. He was invited to test some of the new gaming equipment.”

Clint liked the swedish guy pretty instantaneously. He was funny and boisterous, if a bit brash. He particularly liked the video’s of Pewds playing a game series called ‘Happy Wheels.’

Steve wasn’t impressed, however. He did not like how the Swedish guy kept swearing and blaspheming the hell out of everything. By the 8th video, Steve had a furrow in his brow and was crossing his arms.

“Not your cup of tea, Rogers?” Tony asked, laughing. “That’s cool. There are loads of youtubers we still haven’t seen yet.”

“Is there anything in relation to science?” Bruce asked quietly.

“Course!” the other genius exclaimed. “This is youtube . Literally, you have every video imaginable available to you. Just, here, lemme show you.” He clicked the search bar and typed in ‘asapscience’.  “I actually like this channel- the material is good and very entertaining… well, I think so anyway. But as we all know, everything I think is good, is well, fucking fantastic.”

Clint rolled his eyes fondly. The maniac mechanic genius was narcissistic but he had a good heart. He leaned back and watched his teammates


"Course!" the other genius exclaimed. "This is youtube. Literally, every video you can imagine is available to you. Just, lemme show you. JARVIS, search AsapSCIENCE if you will."

"Right away, sir."

Tony went right on speaking. "Thanks. I actually like this channel- the material is good and entertaining… well, I think so anyway. But as we all know, everything that I think is good, is well, fucking fantastic."

Clint rolled his eyes fondly. The maniac mechanical genius was indeed narcissistic but he had a good heart. He leaned back to watch his teammates.

Natasha was curled up next to him, observing through hooded eyes as Tony continued rambling, for once not telling him to shut up. He could just see a faint, genuine smile. As much as they both hated to admit it, they were both fond of Tony.

Steve was on the floor with a blanket wrapped around him. He was hanging on to every word that came out of Tony's mouth as well as taking in the screen before them. Just then, it hit Clint just how young their team leader was.

Bruce had a cup of jasmine tea between his hands, occasionally chuckling in that quiet manner of his. As the AsapSCIENCE people explained things, he'd correct them gently- as if he could actually speak to them.

Thor was sprawled on a chair next to Bruce's end of the couch. Throughout the night, he'd exclaim how much this particular video pleased him or just comment on something. He was very endearing.

Tony was enjoying every moment of this and when he met Clint's eyes, he had a smug expression. A clear 'I told you so'. Clint shrugged good naturally. Yeah, he could admit when he was wrong. Especially when his team was so damned happy.

Various faces flashed before their eyes… Jenna Marbles… Tyler Oakley. Dan and Phil… Jacksepticeye… KickThePJ… Hannah Hart... Collaborations of different challenges… and finally.

"I can't believe I forgot!" Tony exclaimed. "In the amazing world of youtube, there is a thing called 'reaction videos' and there's this one popular channel, the 'Fine Brothers Entertainment.' The Fine Bro's have series where kids, teens, youtubers, and elders react to literally everything. And the most recent one is… drumroll please."

Four pairs of eyes rolled their eyes but Thor immediately began thumping his hands onto his thighs (clearly one of Tony's new tricks for the Asguardian.)

"The Avengers!" Tony grinned, pleased.

…Clint should have seen that one coming.

Chapter Text

The screen read with epic sound affects: YouTubers REACT... then flashed to, CONTROVERSIAL TOPIC... and final flash, THE AVENGERS AS SUGGESTED BY:

risethefuckup 1 week ago

Reactors watch Avengers!!!!!

 

craftdontcry 2 weeks ago

reaction to Avengers PLS

 

checkerspalace 1 month ago

YouTubers react to AVENGERS!!!!!

"We're gonna show you something that happened recently within the last year... I'm sure you're familiar with them."

"You're talking about the Battle of New York, right?" Hannah Hart.

"Yeah." A pause to two new people. "Have you heard of... The Avengers?"

"'Course I heard of them- I literally live on the Internet." danisnotonfire. "Plus, you'd have to be living under a pretty huge rock to not have heard of the Avengers."

"I'm wearing my Avengers shirt! What a coincidence!" AmazingPhil.

"Exactly, but today we're focusing on a more controversial aspect. The Battle of New York."

Images flashed. A wobbly video most likely taken from a civvie catches the portal opening and the CHITAURI coming out. Screams.

"Mm, the screams are what gets me the most." Connor Franta. "Just imagine how terrified those people must've been."

A video taken from a building of the AVENGERS standing heroically. A child can be heard crying. So can people whispering, "Is that the Hulk? OMG. He's bigger than I thought."

"Oh yeah, baby. Have you seen Thor's muscles?" Superwoman.

A pretty blonde can be seen on a news screen saying, "What, this is somehow their fault? Captain America saved my life.  Wherever he is and wherever any of them are now... I'd just like to say thank you."

"Aw, that's sweet." AmazingPhil.

"You're going to show us the bad bits now? Very controversial. Much Avengers." danisnotonfire.

News pans from the battle as a CHITAURI LEGIATHAN is seen crashing into a tower and the HULK goes with it. Shots are taken of Thor injured and lying unconscious or unmoving on the pavement.

"See, this is why it's such a controversial topic. You see praise all over about how heroic they are but... really, there were pretty dire consequences to what happened." Connor Franta.

"It really pisses me off- excuse the language, at how... the Avengers just...sweeps the damage aside. Like, oh,  here's some cash- good luck!" Markiplier.

Emergency government meetings- these heroes are out of control.

The NEW YORK SENATOR appears, questioning AVENGERS. "These so called 'heroes' have to be held responsible for the destruction done in the city. This was their fight- where are they now?"

"The government must be really working their ass off for this." Matpat.

Candlelights held for those that died in the attack in many major cities- Chicago, San Diego, Houston, Seattle and many more. Mourners gather for loved ones and friends. Graffiti saying, "THANK YOU AVENGERS" with 'thank you' crossed out replacing it with 'FUCK YOU.'

Hannah Hart is on screen, visibly tearing. "I'm sorry. I knew someone..." A hand appears, giving her a tissue box. "Thanks."

People praising the AVENGERS wearing various garments depicting them, like IRONMAN (aka TONY STARK) and CAPTAIN AMERICA (aka STEVE ROGERS.) Kids chasing eachother around, giggling and wearing costumes.

"That's petty cute, I'll admit." Matpat.

"That was literally me in grade school." AmazingPhil.

"Yeah? And who were you, Phil?" danisnotonfire.

"I was often Thor, I can pull off a pretty good Thor." AmazingPhil.

Then the screen read QUESTION TIME.

"What do you think of the Avengers?"

"I think they're cool, if a bit cheesy?" Superwoman.

"The Avengers are good in a crisis that the world wouldn't have been otherwise unable to handle, and they're pretty cool." Matpat. "I have so many fond memories of the comics growing up. To those that didn't know, I have a video on the Film Theory channel!"

"They're... well, I'm angry at them for just leaving all this destruction and grief and not doing anything about it." Markiplier.

"They're awesome!" AmazingPhil.

"Definitely, I agree. But it really makes you wonder about their morals and such after seeing all that mess in NYC." danisnotonfire.

"I'm usually really careful about reigning in my emotions about controversial things like this. But, someone really close to me lost their entire family that day." Connor Franta. "For that, I don't think I could really fully forgive them about that."

"I just wish they did something for the people of New York as well as those who lost mothers, fathers, sons, nieces..." Hannah Hart.

"Since its inflicted so much damage on New York City, global governments are questioning the Avengers, worried about it going into their countries. Do you share that worry?"

"Well, of course. I can't imagine the pain of losing someone that way, you know? Every country is helpless compared to the aliens unknown." AmazingPhil.

"Totally. I mean, me and Phil live in the UK. I'm really worried about the royal pooches." danisnotonfire.

"Of course, the world doesn't need anymore destruction in it." Hannah Hart.

"Yeah. Fully and completely. No doubt in my mind." Markiplier.

"The Avengers can go anywhere they please and do anything... because no one is stopping them. I'm 100% certain that something as little as passports wouldn't stop them." Matpat.

"My parents especially, coming from India. When they came here, they certainly didn't count on this happening." Superwoman.

"Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I?" Connor Franta.

"What would you say to the Avengers, if they were watching this?"

"I've loved Captain America since I could remember and I've always been a huge fan of superheroes. If they're watching, i want them to know that and you guys rock!" AmazingPhil.

"Ditto to what Phil said. Also, keep on protecting the world, huh? I don't want to wake up one day to see that Phil's been abducted by aliens- we already get enough of that from the Sims!" danisnotonfire.

"The Avengers are amazing! I really appreciate the eight pack you all have going on there!" Superwoman.

"You guys are cool and I appreciate what you did, but I can't help but I can't help but feel bad that you haven't shown a least bit of remorse for all the damage and injured and dead people?" Hannah Hart.

"I'm really frustrated with you and I wish you'd do more to lessen the damage." Connor Franta. "There are a lot of hurt people because of what you do, but I get it too. The military couldn't do anything so the entire planet could've gone instinct...but it doesn't change what I think."

"I'd suggest finding a way to reign in your power or risk it going into your heads. You guys are powerful individually, and I could go on and on about that, but you're fully capable of world domination together." Matpat.

"Thank you so much for watching another video of YouTubers react!" Superwoman.

"Please subscribe to everyone in this video!" AmazingPhil.

"As well as the Fine Bros, obviously." danisnotonfire.

 

The screen went black as the video ended. Silence.

Chapter Text

Strangely enough, it was Tony who was the quietest when the video ended. It was... unsettling to say the least.

When Clint looked around the room to see how the other Avengers were taking this, Steve was breathing heavily with wet eyes. Bruce was taking meditative breaths, his brown eyes screwed tight. Thor had a thunderous expression (heh) and Natasha... Natasha's face was carefully blank- which, honestly, told Clint enough of how she was feeling.

Clint wanted to laugh it off. No biggie, they didn't actually mean it. It totally could've gone worse....

...could it though?

The people had essentially told them that New York was their fault, that people fucking died because of them. It wasn't statistics like the news and journalists were saying- they were people who lost loved ones and friends. Clint shuddered. Yeah, okay, it was pretty bad.

You have heart. Nope. No way. He wasn't sticking around for this inevitable shit show. Not again. With deft movements, Clint was up and out of the room in mere seconds (ah, to be a superspy.)

"JARVIS?" Clint called, stalking up to the private elevator. "Quiet mode please."

"Activated, Agent Barton. No one will disturb you unless there is an emergency."

"Thanks, man." Clint hopped in and immediately set out to exit through the elevator shaft. He crawled through the tunnels and turned till he arrived.

It was a self-built nest. One that Tony had at first laughed at but helped when air circulation had been cut off and even made it bullet-proof. It was the safest place Clint could think of within the tower.

Clint plucked out his Starktab and opened the YouTube app. With trembling fingers, he clicked on the search bar and typed in 'youtubers react to avengers'. Hesitantly, Clint tapped the video and paused it. Scrolling down, he found the comments section.

Samara Jones:
I totally agree with markiplier. the avengers just weren't careful enough- they're responsible for the hurt and dead and no one can convince me otherwise!
alaskanpolarbear (in reply to Samara Jones):
dude, no. it wasn't their fault. it's not like they INVITED the aliens over for a freaking picnic!
benjaMAN (in reply to alaskanpolarbear):
maybe not man. but you can't deny what they're capable of. Matpat is right
(click to see more comments)

endofthelinebrah:
whatever. I don't care . I lost my kid sister in the battle. They're not 'superheros' or whatever people are trying to call them

Elliot J Peters:
Guys, calm down. It's not their fault! It's sad that so many people died and were severely injured, but so many more would've died if it weren't for them
purplerainbows (in reply to Elliot J Peters):
fuck you
Elliot J Peters (in reply to purplerainbows):
you fuck off
purplerainbows (in reply to Elliot J Peters):
not so calm now are you
(click to see more comments)

somethingsomething:
OMG THTE AVENGERS ARE REAL OMG!!!!!!!!
(click to see more comments)

Clint felt sick. He physically felt sick. Oh god. Shit shit shit.

His throat and chest felt tight and he couln't fucking breathe. He couldn't think. My kid sister. Severely injured. Dead. Dead. Children. Shit.

Who else died in the battle? Who's lives is he responsible for? It's innumerable, surely. It's like dad said, he's going to rot in hell. Fuck.

Clint curled into his nestle of various clothing garments and blankets and cried.

 

When Clint finally emerged from the ducts, Natasha was seated calmly against the walls.

She took one look at Clint then gracefully stood and hugged him. He melted against her. This was familiar. This he could do.

She understood.

 

Later, when Clint and Natasha arrived in the communal kitchen; Steve, Thor, and Bruce were there- and... there was no sign of Tony. Shit. He should've known that Tony would feel bad, instead Clint had been selfish and stupid and...

A large, calming hand was on his shoulder. Steve. Right, deep breaths, calm. He could totally be calm and serene, absolutely. 100% (one-hundred percent).

A squeeze.

Clint took a deep breath and when he felt more calm, he patted the hand as a thank you.

Calm. Be calm.

 

What the hell can he do to fix this?

 

Calm. Be calm.

 

Fuck. Fuck fuck. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck.

 

Calm. Be calm.

 

 

Deep breaths. In out. Stop panicking. Okay. He can do this. He can fix it. He can.

 

Calm. Be calm.

 

Clint knew what he had to do.

He just hoped it was the right thing to do.

Chapter Text

His hands were shaking as he was setting up the crappy camera he bought from Walmart. This might just be the hardest thing he's ever done. Never mind the impossible shots on missions, ones with gusty winds shot from dozens of kilometers away but still made it's mark. No. This was so much harder.

How the hell was Clint supposed to talk to a fucking camera?

Was he supposed to pretend that someone was there? Really? Well... Clint supposed it couldn't be that different than talking to Lucky (shut up, that wasn't talking to himself. It wasn't.)

Clint took a breath. Remember the objective. Shit. He could practically hear Phil talking through a com.

Phil would know what to do, in fact, Phil would know the right thing to do. In complete honesty, Clint was sure he would more likely screw things up more than improve the situation...

Hell, he was sure Fury and even Sitwell had contingencies in place for exactly this situation. Who was he to try fix things?

I lost my kid sister in the battle.

No. NO. Something had to be done.

Clint hit the record button then promptly stared blankly at the camera, like it might just suddenly give him all the answers. Which, no, ridiculous Hawkeye. Don't be such a dummy. (Even his own conscience sounded like Kate, what the fuck, brain.)

"Okay, so... futz." Clint took another deep breath. "I'm Clint. Erm. Clint Barton. Otherwise known as Hawkeye... from the Avengers. Yeah, that's me. Hi." He wanted to smack something, preferably himself. God. He sounded so awkward.

Another beat of silence.

"Okay Clint, get back on track, you can do this. Just talk like you're talking to Lucky or... a camera. Not helping yourself there, Hawkeye. You're screwing up. Again."

Clint scratched the back of his head. Why did he think this was such a good idea, again?

"I'll just cut to the chase," Clint finally announced. Yeah, that works, right? "We were at the tower for, y'know, team bonding and stuff because Steve likes that sorta thing..." Fantastic start. "And it was movie night! Except, Tony picked YouTube. Which, really, it isn't even a movie? Like?" Clint scrunched up his nose, why was he trying to make his own damn point to a camera? "Anyway, Tony decided to watch a bunch of YouTube videos, and we came across TheFineBros channel."

He paused. Get to the point, Hawkeye. (Shut up, Kate.)

"And we saw their Avengers reaction video... Which was, well." He big his lip awkwardly. "Which was not good. Reaction, I mean. The quality was great!" Futz. "And well, I wanted to let you all know that yes we saw the video and yes we're gonna address the issues that were brought up. And hopefully... I'm not gonna screw this up too much."

Clint licked his chapped lips. When did his mouth get so dry? Calm.

"Since I don't really want to speak for the other Avengers, because they're fully capable of having voices of their own and especially because 2/6 people here have like four PhD's am one of them is a god and another is a genetically engineered super soldier. I just wanted to give my take on this, from my own personal POV.

"I totally get why people are so pissed at us. Hell, I'm pissed at us too. I get why that one dude said that all we do is 'throw money' at the city and not even consider the government or the citizens within America, because in some ways, that was completely true.

 "We just... continued on our lives like nothing happened, like it didn't matter to us... Or so it seemed to the public's of eye." Clint ducked his head. Aw, technically he wasn't even allowed to say this... Damn, he was going to lose his job, wasn't he. "Erm, I know it's not a lot, but I've been going out to different parts of New York for several weeks now and helping with reconstruction and things." Yeah, by Fury's freaking orders. Doesn't count, Hawkeye. "And I've gotten to know a few people and hear their stories...which is both one of the best and worst things ever.

"When you're out there and nobody knows who you are, they're a lot more open about things. Does that make sense? Like, I've been invited to cookouts and beer and a movies, and it was so fucking nice of them. They weren't very well off, but they still had  enough warmth in their hearts for someone like me. And it only makes it worse because if they knew who I actually was, then they wouldn't like me anymore." He felt a lump form in his throat. Was he actually going to cry on camera? Fuck.

"Not that I'd blame them," Clint tried to subtly wipe his eyes (somehow, he didn't think it'd work.) "They deserve so much more than what I could give them...yet, they're still so thankful and forgiving."

Clint thought of Bobby, Jack, Laura, and the kids. How they were so close and were so kind to people all the fucking time. He thought of the old lady, who offered him cookies because she thought that he deserved it. He thought of everyone else, who were unselfish and did right by other people.

"I dunno. It just makes you think, y'know? About the consequences of your actions and how you're so undeserving as an individual. It makes me want to be better. And I know that I, personally, will do whatever it takes to make this right again."

Clint's voice was shaking as he ended the video. "Thanks for watching. Uhm. Bye."

He pressed stop and just sat there for a second. Yeah, okay, no questions now. This video was going up, damned be the consequences.

 

so clint made an account and named it 'TheAmazingHawkeye'. he uploaded the video, which took longer than he cared to admit, and posted it on youtube.

bring it on, world, Hawkeye was ready