In retrospect, Jensen figures that he and Jared are gigantic idiots. He’s always known that they have communication issues, but he never has gone so far as to label himself a moron before.
But he really should’ve gotten a clue. They both should have looked back at the Thanksgiving incident and realized that something was up with that. Jared’s sensitive, sure, but he isn’t normally so, so --- Jared-y like that. He’s a grown man, not some simpering teenage girl who cries when her boyfriend buys her the wrong shade of pink nail polish for their three week anniversary.
Not that Jensen blames Jared for getting upset on occassion. He understands that he and his husband come from different worlds, and even with Jensen’s obsession with the seraph, he still has some issues with accepting all of Jared’s viewpoints on the world. He doesn’t think that it’s wrong to feel that way. The seraphs aren’t completely correct in their assumptions any more than the humans are.
They have an excuse for Kaden. They really, really do. Jared controls heat, fire, flames – whatever. The point is the there was no logical basis for thinking that Jensen as a man couldn’t bone his equally male mate without protection when neither of them had any sexually transmitted diseases, and they were monogamous to one another.
So, yeah, oops number one? Totally not their fault.
Oops number two one the other hand…
Well, the signs were there, right? Jared was a little… hormonal around Thanksgiving, and Jensen had certainly taken enough biology classes to know that there was a chance that Jared’s abnormal reproductive ability had cycles like any other carrier would have if there wasn’t a fertilization and carrying period.
Their only defense is that there was a lot going on at the time. They’d originally planned to spend the week of Christmas with Jared’s parents like always. With the holiday and their remaining vacation time, they’d managed to take a few days off before the holiday week as well, and Jensen had cajoled Jared into spending some time at his parent’s place first.
Jared agreed rather quickly for somebody who hadn’t had such a great experience the last time that he was there. Jensen privately thought it was because Jared was in cat withdrawal, but as he wanted to continue actually having sex with his husband, he had refrained from mentioning his theory to Jared.
It had been both nice and stressful, which he supposes most people’s holidays are, but after the fight at Thanksgiving, it had been nice to see that Jared could be around Jensen’s parents without having a meltdown.
Then they got the news that Jared’s parents ended up with one case of bronchitis and one case of the flu, and going to visit them went right out the window. Maybe if it was just the two of them they’d have risked it anyway to go stay and take care of things so that Jared’s parents could rest up. But with Kaden along for the ride, they weren’t going to risk their little cherub’s health. Plus, he was a handful. Jared’s parents didn’t need to be putting up with a hyperactive toddler.
Jensen’s parents were beyond thrilled when he asked if they could maybe stay through Christmas. Somehow they determined that the gifts that they had already purchased for their winged grandchild weren’t enough and went on a shopping spree to make certain that their little guest was properly spoiled.
And, yeah, Jensen is ashamed to admit that he took advantage of their grandparent glee. When he and Jared first got together, after the whole breakup with spontaneous molting part, they spent a lot of time cuddling together when they were at home.
Jared liked to wrap his wings around Jensen’s body, and Jensen liked to bury his fingers in their feathers, and they’d kiss and nuzzle and do all manner of disgustingly sweet things like whispering endearments in each other’s ears.
Kaden sort of put a damper on that because in his mind cuddles were made for cherubs to collect, and while Jensen certainly didn’t mind cuddling his son, it wasn’t the kind of cuddling that he wanted to do with his mate.
So while Kaden’s grandfather was watching Claymation reindeer pick on poor Rudolph, complete with Kaden’s commentary of how he couldn’t fly yet either, but Rudolph would grow into it just like Daddy promised he would, Jensen took his husband’s hand and led him up to the guest room.
He is willing to swear that all he had intended was a little reconnecting time with his mate. Jensen is not the kind of boy that gets his groove on in his parent’s house. Not even as a teenager did he so much as make out at home. The car was a different story, but Jensen was in dire straits with his self-imposed ‘not at home’ rule. If he’d been less horny, he would’ve sworn off the car as well. He knows it.
Unfortunately, Jared can be a very bad influence on Jensen.
They started off with gentle kisses and hugs, Jensen’s hand sliding up Jared’s naked back to rub at the patch of skin between the places where Jared’s wings join to the rest of his body. There wasn’t anything that was truly wrong with what they were doing. It maybe wasn’t something that he wanted their son to see, but it was gentle and slow, and it eased some of the tension out of Jared’s frame even if it didn’t ease out all of his disappointment at not being able to go home for Christmas.
Jensen had been pleasantly buzzed on kisses and cuddles when Jared decided that he needed to shove his hand down Jensen’s pants. Jensen had protested, but Jared had shushed him, saying that Jensen’s dad had decided that Kaden should also experience the story of people from Whoville and their misguided, green villain as well. It was against Jensen’s rule of no more than one movie for the night, but Jared had made a very convincing argument with his left hand and well… Jensen’s mom was out Christmas shopping, and his dad was busy, and they probably wouldn’t have another opportunity for sex until they went home.
Not having been very fond of the idea of not having sex for almost two weeks to begin with, Jensen’s libido had overridden his brain. They’d gotten naked. Then they’d gotten reckless.
They hadn’t planned on having sex, so Jensen hadn’t packed condoms because he’d been terrified of them falling out of his luggage at an inopportune time. Worse, he had a toddler who had inherited his feathery father’s penchant for snooping. Jensen could just imagine his little one bursting into his grandmother’s kitchen with a bottle of lube in one hand and a handful of condoms in the other.
But with his dick doing his thinking for him, Jensen hadn’t exactly had a problem his letting his husband ride him in his parent’s guest bed, using the ocean scented hand lotion his mother had in the room as lube, pulling out his husband’s feathers as he’d come in an effort to keep silent.
It was after he’d come down from his coital high that Jensen had been ashamed of himself. Jared, of course, had been no help at all, rolling over for his usual afterglow snuggle, muttering something about roast beast.
But Jensen had managed to get the both of them cleaned up, and the window cracked to air the room out from the scent of sex, and he’d figured that he’d dodged a very embarrassing bullet.
Four days later, Jared’s face had suddenly gotten pinched in the middle of dinner, and he’d bolted up the stairs into the guest bathroom.
Jensen had gone to check on him, and had gotten worried when there was no answer to his calls through the door. He’d been about to break into the room when Jared sent him a text message from not five feet and a door away telling him not to let anybody else in the room.
Which, really, nobody else wanted to see Jared heaving his guts out. Jensen’s father had immediately volunteered to be on grandson duty, and Jensen’s mother had gotten up to fix tea and find crackers. Hair holding was a spouse duty, and both of their eyes had said as much.
So when Jared unlocked the door to the bathroom, Jensen wasn’t expecting his husband to not have his pants on. Normally the sight would be exciting to him, but the whole pained look in Jared’s eyes and the sweat beading on his forehead just killed the romance of bathroom nakedness.
“Shut the door,” Jared had ordered as he’d dropped his bare ass onto the bathroom tile. The fuzzy rugs that Jensen’s mother kept in the room were piled in the small shower stall.
“What’s going on?” Jensen had asked as he turned around and did as Jared requested.
“Don’t freak out,” Jared had more pleaded than ordered.
It hadn’t been reassuring.
“So, you know how I was complaining about holiday weight gain this morning? Not so much too many cookies,” Jared had gasped.
“What are you talk… What the hell is that?”
Jensen knew his husband’s body very thoroughly. He knew every quill and scar and tickly groin feather. The distended bump that was forming right behind Jared’s balls was not in any way normal.
“So they say that second children tend to come faster than the first,” Jared had offered with a smile.
“You promised not to freak out!”
“I did not! There was no agreement!” Jensen had hissed back.
“Can we talk about this later? There wasn’t much blood last time, but the new hole appearing thing really hurt. Not looking forward to that again.”
“What? No! We need to get you an ambulance!”
“Are you out of your mind? You’re going to call the medics for your seraph husband who is birthing your egg?” Jared had asked.
“You’re in pain!”
“And your parents are downstairs, so keep your voice down,” Jared had snarled as he reached up and yanked Jensen down beside him.
Logically, Jensen had known that Kaden’s egg had been birthed. Jared had told him the details, but their reality had never truly sunk in beyond the fact that something bodily happened, and they had a little cherub as a result.
Jensen doesn’t think that Kaden’s birth happened quite as quickly as baby number two’s birth did, but he doesn’t know for sure. Jared tells him that the pain makes it feel like forever, and Jensen is willing to just believe that.
“How’s he look?” Jared had asked as he finished pushing the new egg from his body.
Jensen hadn’t been sure what he was supposed to say. It was an egg. It was vaguely egg shaped, and the mottled pink shell was little soft to the touch. There was a nasty, ugly looking hole on his husband’s body, and there were clear bodily fluids on his mother’s dark blue ceramic tiles. It was possibly one of the most horrifying things he’d ever witnessed.
“Pink,” Jensen had answered finally.
“Pink?” Jared had groaned as he twisted and thrashed, trying to convince his sore abdominal muscles to let him sit up.
“Yeah,” Jensen had hefted the frighteningly large egg up for Jared to see.
“Wow that’s… pink,” Jared had mumbled.
“With little brown spots,” Jensen had added.
“Yeah. Fuck. You need to tell your mom I’ve got the flu really bad and insist on cleaning up the bathroom before she sees this on her morning towel run.” Jared had ordered even as he made grabbing hand motions for his precious bundle of shell.
“What? Jared, we can’t just, just hide this,” Jensen had protested.
“Why not? Teenage girls hide births all the time. You going to try to tell me that you’re not smarter than a teenage girl?”
“No, but I might call you one,” Jensen had hissed as he’d snatched one of his mother’s aforementioned towels and wrapped their new egg in it before handing him over to his mate.
“He’s lighter than Kaden was,” Jared had fretted, “Do you think that he’s okay?”
“I don’t know, Jay. I’m not an ornithologist,” Jensen had muttered as he’d started mopping up at the… whatever it was that had come out of Jared’s body with the egg.
“If I wasn’t cradling our baby, I’d hit you for that,” Jared had growled.
“Yeah, so instead of fighting we should maybe discuss the fact that we’re going to need to talk to my parents,” Jensen had said.
“We are going to tell your parents nothing. You are going to go down there and tell them that I’ve got a very bad stomach bug. I am going to play incubator to the little one until we can smuggle him out with us on our way home. Given how your mother is, I’m betting that she’ll insist on taking care of us through Christmas so that you don’t have to worry, so you’d better brush up on your acting skills, Ackles.”
Jensen recalls opening his mouth to argue, but Jared had cut him off with the words, “Don’t argue with me right now. I just pushed your goddamned egg out of me.”
And so Jensen was a good husband and did as he was told. His mother made soups and broths, and Jared lazed around in the guest bedroom faking illness and snuggling the new egg, making a little cocoon of towels and blankets and Jensen’s favorite sweaters. Oh and Mittens the ‘evil’ cat was somehow welcome to curl up next to their new egg and provide it with his furry kitty warmth. Jared claimed that he was giving Mittens a second chance because of the holiday season.
And Jensen? Jensen has been lying his ass off for days. He’s very certain that this is not what the spirit of Christmas is about. It only gets worse whenever Kaden wants to go see his daddy, and Jensen has to hold back what seems like fifteen elephants worth of cherub so that he doesn’t accidentally crush his little sibling that is nested under the thick comforter.
For his part, Jared’s been in a fairly good mood, but he’s used to being active and moving around. Jensen can remember when Kaden was still an egg. Jared would carry him everywhere in their apartment, and Jensen had more than once snatched that delicate green egg out of Jared’s hands, terrified that his mate was going to come down with a fit of clumsiness and drop their child.
But for all that Kaden pouts about not having quality daddy time, his not so innocent suggestion that opening a present early will make daddy feel better, allows Jensen to convince his mother to give Jared the electric blanket she bought for the both of them.
That it is completely unnecessary when his husband comes equipped with his own down blanket is something that Jensen is very glad he didn’t point out earlier. His mother might have returned it, and then they’d have to make certain that one of them was supplying body heat to the egg almost constantly.
On Christmas Eve, Jensen is feeling pretty good about their plan. They’ll have to explain things to Kaden when they get back home, but even if he doesn’t take the news about becoming a big brother well, nobody is going to listen to a toddler who claims that his sibling came out of an egg.
They’ll have time to get some new adoption papers faked, and it’ll be smooth sailing. Jensen is certain of it.
But it’s Christmas Eve, and Jensen’s mother is worried about Jared’s comfort. So while Jensen is helping Kaden stuff, “Super secret, Papa!” presents in his grandma’s stocking, said grandma goes up to the guest bedroom to check on Jared.
Only Jared is taking a shower, so he isn’t there. And Jensen’s mother has always believed in having clean sheets, especially when somebody is sick.
Jensen almost has a heart attack when his mother comes down the stairs with his youngest cradled in her arms.
Jensen’s father, on the other hand, almost has a heart attack when his son-in-law comes barreling down the stairs, naked and wet.
Mittens just doesn’t understand why his human slave won’t let him curl up on the pretty egg like his winged angel does, but Jensen figures that he’s a cat so the shock of the situation is sort of lost on him.
“Daddy! Clothes!” Kaden reprimands in his best ‘Jensen’ voice. He went through an entire phase of life where he was perfectly content to run around with nothing but his baby down feathers for covering, and Jensen swears the he grew his first grey hair because of it.
“Papa, Daddy has no clothes!” Kaden says with an impatient tug on Jensen’s pants leg.
“I know, Kiddo,” Jensen answers as he grabs a throw off the couch to wrap around Jared’s waist. He has no idea where Jared’s towel went, but he knows better than to ask.
Jared, meanwhile, has reclaimed their egg from Jensen’s mother and is cradling it to his chest. He is frantically smoothing his large hand over its curves. Jensen knows that he is checking for cracks and making sure that it is still evenly heated, but it looks for all the world like he’s a naked man petting an egg.
Jensen is fairly certain that his father is now officially scarred for life.
“What is that?” Jensen’s mother finally asks.
Avoiding that question sounds like a great idea, so Jensen takes more time than is strictly necessary wrapping the throw around his husband’s hips to hide his manhood and pubic feathers from view.
Unfortunately, Kaden decides to answer for him with, “Is my Christmas present, Gramma! I ask Santa for a baby brother, and he come early!”
“Oh, honey, babies don’t come in…” Jensen’s mother trails off at Jensen’s loud throat clearing.
“Jensen?” she asks.
“About that,” Jensen pauses and looks at Jared who refuses to make eye contact under the pretext of looking very closely at their youngest’s shell.
He’s not sure how exactly to tell his parents that he’s knocked up his interspecies husband with magical, gay eggs twice, so he turns to his son and tells him, “Merry Christmas, Buddy.”