April was a better month than most, because it was caught either between band activities or transitioning from one to the next. Kyuhyun often found an excuse to talk more to Donghae then, although with the guys all around them, it wasn't obvious enough to make it that Kyuhyun was isolating Donghae out, only.
He actually thought he was being pretty obvious; Jungsoo turned his head all the time when Kyuhyun pointedly made a move to talk to Donghae, and a few weeks ago, Jongwoon had asked, "Is it just me or are you hitting on Donghae?" and Kyuhyun had said, "Well, you're not exactly the smartest hyung around here, but Donghae is stupider," leaving Jongwoon in the middle of the hallway. Probably still trying to figure out what he had said—Kyuhyun could've been wrong about Donghae being stupider.
Or, well, not.
On an April afternoon they were all lazing around the dorm, because it was the April caught between band activities, which were significantly less pressuring with their group's temporary hiatus, despite that they were still living here. Kyuhyun saw it as an opportunity to make his moves on Donghae a little bit more evident.
Donghae was in the sitting room, fooling around with an iPad he'd gotten last Christmas. Kyuhyun plopped down beside him.
"What are you doing, hyung?" he asked, looking over Donghae's shoulder.
"Oh!" Donghae perked his head up. "Nothing, really. Just playing some games." He turned back to his iPad happily, humming under his breath.
Kyuhyun poked him on the shoulder and Donghae said, without turning around, "Is there something you want, Kyuhyun?"
"Not really a thing," said Kyuhyun, "but I'm just bored and all of the other hyungs are busy with their... whatever." Not like he actually knew what they were doing, although the majority of them had radio shows and the like to be busy with. Kyuhyun was glad that he and Donghae were of the few who weren't as busy nowadays.
"You can play with me, if you want," said Donghae. "Fruit Ninja! Did you know that they have a collaboration feature now?" He turned his body around to Kyuhyun; disappointed that he couldn't hover over Donghae's shoulder and invade his personal space (which Donghae hadn't even noticed, by the way), he backed up so there was room for him and Donghae to play.
"Yes, I did know that they had that feature," he said, and Donghae said, "Great!"
They played and Kyuhyun predictably won three out of five games, one of the losses because it was the first game and Donghae usually had the most energy when starting to play. The second loss was because Donghae had his tongue sticking out in concentration and Kyuhyun hadn't noticed it before, and forgot that he was playing for a good thirty seconds until Donghae said, "Wow, I have double your score!"
It was actually difficult liking Donghae, because in Kyuhyun's dreams Donghae was always so receptive and understandable, and in Kyuhyun's dreams Donghae would squirm and giggle in his grasp and say things like, "Yeah, there Kyuhyun," and Kyuhyun would kiss him on the stomach, grab his little handles and Donghae would giggle even more like Kyuhyun was tickling him. Then Kyuhyun would fuck him, like, gently or something, and Donghae's head was always thrown back and Kyuhyun would lick his neck, chin, feeling Donghae unwind against him...
Of course, real life was nothing close to his dreams. Sometimes Kyuhyun wondered if he was going insane by how much he tried to get Donghae's attention without being too embarrassingly blatant about it.
"You're already insane," said Ryeowook when Kyuhyun tried talking to him about it, but Kyuhyun ignored him. Ryeowook hardly knew what he was talking about, and sometimes Kyuhyun caught him crying over vegetables in the middle of the night.
Donghae liked to spend his nights relaxing and watching television, and Kyuhyun decided that that was a way that he could come onto Donghae properly, or at least to get Donghae to catch his drift. He walked into the living room with a few bottles of soju and offered one to Donghae.
"No thanks," said Donghae. "I watched this health channel recently and they said that alcohol after certain hours is bad for you."
Kyuhyun wanted to groan. "Hyung, you've drunken later than this before," he said.
"Yeah, but this is a new development. I'm watching the channel right now, actually!" said Donghae, and pointed to the TV screen. "See?"
On it were women addressing aspects of their kitchen, pulling out certain foods like mustard and seven grain bread and telling when was best to consume them, and best not.
Kyuhyun glanced over to Hyukjae who was in the corner, texting aimlessly on his phone. "Why isn't Ryeowook watching this with him?" he asked.
"Ryeowook says that most of that is crap," said Hyukjae, but Donghae quickly "Shh!"ed them both before turning back to the TV.
"I don't know what's with him," said Hyukjae when Kyuhyun looked to him again.
Kyuhyun felt utterly hopeless.
A few days later though, it was earlier in the afternoon so there was no reason for Donghae to say no when Kyuhyun offered him alcohol, so they drank in Kyuhyun's dorm, Kyuhyun feeling utterly pleased with himself.
"Where are the others?" Donghae asked.
"Sungmin hyung and Ryeowook are at Sukira, remember?" said Kyuhyun. "Hyukjae hyung is helping with dancing at the practice building, and I'm not quite sure what the others are doing." He took another sip from his bottle. "Why?"
"I dunno, it's just strange being alone here with you with none of the others around." Donghae didn't seem bothered; rather, chipper, as he took another drink and flopped onto Kyuhyun's bed.
Kyuhyun wanted to do a lot of things right then and there, but he also knew about control and dignity. He said, "Does that mean we should spend more time alone?" and Donghae giggled and looked up at him.
"Of course we should!" he said. "I don't mind being—" he hiccupped "—around you, Kyuhyun, you're fun. And great." He wrapped around his arms around Kyuhyun, and, without warning, planted a slobbery one on Kyuhyun's mouth. Kyuhyun squawked because instinct was to push him off—when people surprised him like that, he wanted them as far away from him as possible—but it was Donghae, and—did he just kiss him?
"I always wanted to do that," Donghae giggled, and then passed out.
Kyuhyun wanted to throw himself off a cliff when Donghae woke up four hours later, bitching about his hangover and telling Kyuhyun that he didn't remember a thing.
"He did what?" said Shindong when Kyuhyun told him, and Kyuhyun sighed.
"It's not that he's gay," he said, "'cause, y'know, he might've gotten used to it because of the fanservice—" I always wanted to do that, Donghae had said, but Kyuhyun had conveniently left that out when he told Shindong.
Shindong had his arm on the headrest above him, and they were sitting in the back of the van to his radio show. "Well I don't know what you should do, Kyuhyun-ah. You didn't kiss him back, did you? It'd be taking advantage, since he was drunk—"
"I didn't," said Kyuhyun. Shindong had probably been one of the quickest to accept once after realizing Kyuhyun's obvious advances towards Donghae (although Kyuhyun was sure that the reason the others didn't notice as fast was because they were all men, and it wasn't something you exactly looked for. Shindong was also a tad more observant than the others.)
Shindong patted him on the back of his head and said, "You could at least use your drunk adventures for blackmail."
"What kind of guy do you think I am?"
"I think you're the kind of guy who'd do exactly that," said Shindong. "Even if it's with Donghae. Who'll give in the easiest."
"Precisely why I'm hesitant to do it," Kyuhyun muttered, as the van stopped.
Still, he wasn't one to say no to good advice. Later that evening, when they were back in the Super Junior dorm and bustling about before dinnertime, Kyuhyun caught Donghae walking down the hall and pulled him aside.
"You really don't remember anything that happened when we were drinking the other day?" Kyuhyun, himself, hadn't been drunk—Donghae was just careless like that.
"Um," said Donghae, and his cheeks looked pink. "No? Did I do something embarrassing?"
"No," said Kyuhyun, because while he was an opportunist, it wasn't like he could say something terrible to ruin Donghae's innocence at this moment. "But you did promise me that we could hang out more, hyung, just you and me—"
"Oh!" said Donghae. "I did? Um, okay! We can do that," he said, and then smiled. "Do you want to go out and do something now?"
"Dinner would be nice," Kyuhyun replied.
They had dinner, but Donghae inexplicably invited Jongwoon and Ryeowook along, and then halfway through their meal when a silence fell among the four of them, Donghae said, "You guys should sing me a ballad!" and Kyuhyun questioned his own taste in people, not to mention his taste in men.
Afterwards they went to karaoke and Jongwoon and Ryeowook and Donghae sung, Kyuhyun not exactly feeling up to it. He ate his peanuts and drank little sips of wine; Donghae looked happy, and Kyuhyun kind of wanted to fuck him in this karaoke booth even if Jongwoon and Ryeowook were around, but he was losing his patience. It was all right that Donghae was friendly with him, might like him, even (Kyuhyun wasn't too sure about that, though, but it was the way that Donghae had blushed earlier today and had acted awkward during dinner—Kyuhyun didn't want to get his hopes up, though.) But Kyuhyun felt constantly cockblocked—or, at the least that opportunity was not on his side that maybe he should just stop this stupid pining for Donghae.
"Hey," said Donghae, nudging his side, and Kyuhyun was jerked out of his thoughts. Donghae's bright eyes shimmered in the blue light of the karaoke screen as Jongwoon sang, and Ryeowook was cheering him on with the tambourine.
"Want to sing next?" Donghae asked. He was inches away from Kyuhyun and Kyuhyun immediately said, "Yes."
"Good, 'cause you didn't sing all night." Donghae grinned. "And I'll pick a song for you."
Knowing Donghae, it was probably just one of their songs, and he and Jongwoon and Ryeowook would join in singing along. But Donghae had asked him, had cared. Kyuhyun didn't mind too terribly.
However, his patience was wearing thinner by the minute.
Donghae didn't really seem to try to talk to Kyuhyun alone after that, so it was up to Kyuhyun to do so—every time, Donghae would jerk in surprise, would divert attention to someone or something else—it was starting to get ridiculous.
He started texting Donghae when he could be physically talking to him face-to-face, but once you started texting Donghae, Donghae developed an obsessive compulsion for checking his cellphone.
Donghae was sitting in the living room again; Kyuhyun was lurking around the corner, in the hall where all their bedrooms were. He peeked into the living room to see Donghae check his phone, and a light pink wash over his cheeks.
hi kyhyun!! ^^ whats up?
How about you?
What are you doing?
Donghae jumped at each buzz of his cellphone, and Kyuhyun smirked. After reading the texts, Donghae seemed to debate with himself whether or not to respond.
Wanna get a haircut with me?
Finally Donghae answered.
no but thx!! also can u just send me 1 txt instead of 39485 per minute???
What are you talking about?
I'm not doing that.
So what are you doing right now?
Donghae put his cellphone on the table and left to the kitchen. Kyuhyun shrunk back and waited to see if Donghae would come out, and then, after several minutes, checked the kitchen to see if he was there.
Ryeowook said that Donghae had left the dorm.
So Kyuhyun really enjoyed this cat-and-mouse chase (he really didn't), but every time he saw Donghae he just kind of wanted to—and jacking off in the showers, and his incessant dreams, really weren't helping.
He scanned the apartment one day before going into Donghae's room: it seemed like one of those empty days again, where he and Donghae were the only ones around. Donghae seemed busy on his cellphone; after that texting fiasco, Donghae had temporarily blocked him before Kyuhyun promised not to bug him again. Damn technology.
"Oh, hi Kyuhyun," said Donghae, looking up at him—Donghae was half-naked and Kyuhyun really couldn't take it anymore.
"You are literally," he said, pouncing on Donghae's legs, "the fucking most impossible—"
"Ow," Donghae whined, but Kyuhyun shoved his hands aside and dove deep, grabbing Donghae's mouth with his own and sucking at his lips and teeth without much abandon. Donghae seemed surprised, but he was pressed against the headboard of his bed and couldn't exactly tear himself away.
"Kyuhyun," said Donghae, when Kyuhyun pulled apart, but Kyuhyun said, "That's what you did to me, you know. That time when we got drunk? You did that and it messed with my brain, and I—"
"I know," said Donghae.
Donghae nodded, looking guilty. He set his phone aside. "That's why," he said, and then, "I mean, I don't remember everything, but I remember that part—either that, or I thought I dreamt it, but I was being extra careful just in case—I thought you wanted to beat me up, and hated me, or-or something."
"You're a fucking dickwad," growled Kyuhyun, and tore at his lips again, hot with his tongue, wanting to feel Donghae's insides. Donghae moaned, and Kyuhyun ran his tongue against Donghae's smooth teeth, biting down gently at Donghae's upper lip too; Donghae twisted from underneath him, and Kyuhyun realized what an uncomfortable position this was.
They were pretty equal in size, but Kyuhyun turned him around anyways, so that Donghae's bare back was pressed against his chest. He bit down at Donghae's shoulder and slid his hand down his chest, teasing his nipples, feeling every part of his chest, so that Donghae moaned even more against him. Kyuhyun whispered into his ear, smirking, "You like that?" and Donghae nodded. He felt so soft against Kyuhyun that Kyuhyun fell gentler.
"You know," Kyuhyun whispered as his hand wound into Donghae's boxer briefs and found Donghae's dick—it was the first time Kyuhyun had touched another than his own, and it was foreign but good. Better than he'd imagined, and Kyuhyun perched his chin on his shoulder so he could get a better view of Donghae's thick cock, dark against his pinkish thighs and pale skin. He ran a finger over the tip.
Donghae shuddered and asked, "Uh-Um, I know what?"
"Right," said Kyuhyun, trying to focus on talking to him again; it was difficult when he was stroking Donghae off at the same time and Donghae was making little gasping noises against him. "I've really wanted to fuck you for the longest time," he said. "But I'm not sure how to."
"A-Ah, just um," said Donghae, and a shaky hand tugged at the end of his boxer shorts, towards the back. Kyuhyun felt significantly harder then, was sure that Donghae could feel it against his leg.
"You want me to?" he asked Donghae for confirmation, and Donghae nodded. "Because I can just stroke you off if it's going too fast..."
He did sound too caring but he didn't care; plus, Donghae's breath was getting shallower and the heat from all this spooning was making Kyuhyun feel dizzy—he needed to fuck Donghae, now. Donghae said, "There's some lotion in the drawer," and then, "Shit, Kyuhyun, I'm com—" and then he came into Kyuhyun's hand, wet and hot, and Kyuhyun kissed and licked at the back of his collarbone, along with the rest of the red hickeys he was leaving.
"Okay," he said to Donghae. "Are you sure about this?" But Donghae nodded and he was trembling and Kyuhyun asked, "Are you cold?" but Donghae said, "It's okay," and Kyuhyun grabbed the lube from the drawer and prepped himself.
He fucked Donghae and it was as gentle as he'd imagined it, and he was holding Donghae close from behind as Donghae cried out and shuddered a bit and Kyuhyun asked, "Is it hurt? Does it okay? Do you want me to stop?" But despite that Donghae's eyes seemed teary, he said, "Don't stop," and looked at Kyuhyun then and Kyuhyun kissed the salt from his eyes. It was actually a lot less harsh than he thought it'd be, from all the irritation that he'd experienced earlier. But perhaps a part of Donghae just made him crumble so that he couldn't be too angry at him, especially when Donghae was like this.
When Kyuhyun came, it was because Donghae had murmured, "I-I want you to bite me again," and so Kyuhyun did, feeling Donghae's muscles clench against him, practically urging him out. Kyuhyun kissed Donghae when he was done and turned him over and Donghae said, "Well, that was anticlimactic."
Kyuhyun laughed. "Having sex was anticlimactic?" he asked, though he pressed his forehead against Donghae's because hey, sex.
"I've been trying to hint at it for so long," said Kyuhyun. "Foreplay with words. You just didn't get it."
"Sorry," said Donghae, but Kyuhyun lightly nudged his head against his.
"Don't be," he said. "It's not as fun. It wouldn't have made all this worth it."
Donghae laughed then, and Kyuhyun thought, Yeah. Donghae looked better than anything, and this Kyuhyun could settle for.