“Clarke!” Lexa yelled desperately. “Clarke please! It’s me!”
Clarke’s massive form growled deeply at the brunette as she took another step forward. Her jaws open, showing her razor sharp canines. Drool dripped down from her mouth as glazed blue eyes stared back at her.
“She won’t listen to you Lexa.” Nia said, grinning from the side. “She’s mine now!”
“No.” Lexa spat at her, baring her teen at Nia. “I don't believe it.” She swallowed the lump in her throat before turning her eyes back at the blonde werewolf.
“Clarke.” Lexa said softly, “Clarke please, snap out of it.” The beast didn’t seem to hear her; she only snarled at the brunette and bared her teeth even more.
‘ no… ’ Clarke growled to herself, ‘ Can’t hurt….not..Lexa...c-can’t control it!’ She wanted to stop. So much. She didn’t want to be Nia’s puppet anymore, but everything hurt so much. So much pain was inflicted upon her that her body would not listen to the resistance anymore.
“I told you Lexa,” Nia said, stepping up close to the blonde. “Loyal only to me now.”
Before Lexa could come up with a retort, Nia clicked her tongue; and she could only scream as Clarke tore into her. She vaguely heard Nia’s maniacal laughter behind her, taking in the gruesome scene.
“NO! Stop! Lexa! Lexa”
“ I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”
Clarke sat up with a gasp. Tears streaked down her face as she sucked in air into her lungs. She felt arms wrap around her, and still in her panic stricken mind, she weakly tried to fight out of the grip.
“Clarke, Clarke it’s me.” Lexa said to the struggling girl. “It’s okay. You’re safe.”
Clarke stopped struggling after realizing who it was holding her. Not a moment after she did, the dam behind her eyes broke. Her body started shaking hard as she sobbed; new tears running down her face.
“Shh.” Lexa pulled the blonde into her lap, rocking her gently. “Everything is okay.”
“Le-lexa…” Clarke whimpered, breaking Lexa’s heart.
“I’m here.” She replied, kissing the top of her head. “I’m not going anywhere.” She felt Clarke grip her shirt tightly, her face turned into Lexa’s body as well; as if she didn’t believe the brunette wasn’t disappearing anytime soon.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Lexa spoke softly to her, after a few moments of silence other than the small sniffles from Clarke. It was silent once more. Lexa would have thought the girl asleep if it weren’t for the grip on her and her still trembling body. she mentally sighed and prepared to just lie back down with her. Although she yearned to know what was troubling her love, she wasn’t going to push her.
“Y-you...I...we were back...at Mt. Weather..” Clarke spoke after a bit. “Nia...Nia t-told me to k-kill you…” She had to pause as a sob racked through her body. Lexa ran her hand down her back soothingly, her grip on Clarke tightening slightly, letting her know she was there. “But this time...this time I...couldn't stop...I killed you…” Lexa could feel more tears on her skin as Clarke buried her head in the crook of her neck. Her heart broke for the blonde. She knew Clarke was having trouble sleeping; several other times she had woken up in a sweaty mess but when Lexa offered comfort, the blonde denied it. This was the first time Clarke had let Lexa comfort her, let alone share what it was to her. She froze as she heard Clarke continued.
“I could hear her laughing...as I..as I,” Clarke sucked in a shaky breath, “ ...tore you apart….and I tried to stop, but I couldn't...I just…” She shook her head, biting back another sob. “I’m sorry...I’m so sorry.”
“Clarke.” Lexa said softly, moving the blonde slightly to try and look at her. “Look at me please.” Her heart broke when she caught sight of the broken blue eyes. “I’m not dead. I’m alive. You didn’t kill me. You saved me. I am alive because of you.”
“B-but I still hurt you.” Clarke whispered, the guilt she had felt all the time finally showing through. Lexa pulled her closer to her, wishing she could take this pain away. Clarke looked down at her lap, sniffling softly.
“That was not you.” Lexa spoke softly but firmly, tilting Clarke’s head up gently “Nia made you do what you did. You fought as hard as you could and you won. You broke free of Nia’s control and saved us...saved me.”
Clarke bit her lip as she thought over Lexa’s words. She knew they were true, but she still felt guilty of her actions. She felt guilty not only for hurting Lexa, but for making her lose control of the beast and slaughtering Nia and the other’s. Yes, they did deserve it, but Clarke had sworn never to harm, let alone kill, another human. Not after...not after her parents. She looked up into the beautiful green eyes she fell in love with a long time ago. She wanted to tell Lexa; about the immense guilt she felt, but not yet. Maybe soon.
“I love you.” Clarke whispered, looking at Lexa with great vulnerability.
“I love you too.” Lexa whispered back just as gently. She knew there was something else Clarke wasn’t telling her, but the blonde had spoken enough for the night. Lexa leaned down and kissed Clarke slowly, with great gentleness. “C’mon. You need sleep.”
Clarke nodded before shifting with Lexa to lie back down. The blonde curled up on to of her. Clarke’s head was resting on Lexa’s chest; the brunette’s arms were wrapped around Clarke’s waist protectively.
“Lexa…” Clarke spoke up after a few moments, voice barely over a whisper.
“Yes, my love?” Lexa replied, running her hand down the blonde’s back.
“Promise...promise me you’ll be here when I wake?” Clarke asked, snuggling closer to the brunette.
“I promise.” Lexa replied with a small smile. “Sh heard Clarke sigh softly before she heard her breathing even out. Lexa held her, rubbing her back softly for a few more minutes before she too fell asleep.