The first three things that Clary Fray had had noticed when she had spent a few days with Jace and the Lightwood siblings was the following: First, Alec Lightwood was way too uptight and serious. Second, the parabatai bond between him and Jace was crazily intimate. And third, Alec Lightwood was head over heels in love with Y/N. Clary had met his best friend during one of their training sessions. Y/N was really pretty and according to Isabelle a really fierce shadowhunter. That wasn’t something you necessarily could tell looking at her. She seemed soft and really kind , the first time she had met Clary she had hugged her and made her feel more welcomed than Alec every had in those two weeks he had known her. So when Jace told her that Y/N was Alec’s best friend she had been shocked. Where he was reserved and serious , Y/N was open and carefree.
It had been a Friday night when Clary had watched those two train. She was amazed at how elegant but also cool Y/N looked trying to beat Alec, and how his chest heaved from exhaustion. It was the moment that Y/N had Alec pinned down on the floor ,laughing and helping Alec up that Clary saw the look in Alec’s eyes as he watched her walking over to her water bottle to take a sip. The smile that had formed on his lips reminded her at how Luke looked at her mother.
‘’You’re following her like a love sick puppy, Alec!’’
Isabelle faced her brother noticing contentedly how Jace nodded in agreement.
‘’ Mom knows, Hodge knows, everyone does ! Even Max asked me when you two will finally marry.’’, Izzy supported her argument crossing her arms in front of her.
‘’Except for Y/N.’’, Jace chuckled while playing with Clary’s hair.
‘’Well that’s entirely his fault ! How is she supposed to know? I heard you argue last week and you said some things that must have really hurt her, do you realize that?’’
Alec stood awkwardly in the middle of the room wishing this conversation didn’t take place.
‘’She almost got herself killed, Izzy!’’, Alec said annoyed, feeling his anger rising just thinking of how carelessly Y/N had played with her life . He knew that he shouldn’t have yelled at her, saying the things he said. The moment he had realized that she was holding back tears he had felt incredible guilty and sorry. But the sheer horror he had felt when he had gotten told that the healing rune almost hadn’t worked on her and that she had been on the brick of death made him feel incredible hopeless and petrified. The thought of losing her made him go mad and he had been so furious with her for taking her life so insignificant. Even though she and Jace were the most important people in his life. He wouldn’t be able to live without them.
Since that day Y/N had tried to ignore him, clearly hurt by his actions. And Alec was suffering.
‘’I lashed out, I know! But-‘’
‘’The thought of losing her makes you go crazy. We know. ‘’,Izzy said softly.
‘’But I believe Y/N didn’t understand why you acted like that.’’
Silence filled the room.
‘’You do know she feels the same way, right?’’, Simon spoke up.
Alec rolled his eyes feeling his heart speed up at the mere thought that Y/N could actually feel the same about him. But he doubted it. He would always be the best friend and nothing more. Exactly like that mundane.
‘’Trust me she does. I know how…I can tell.’’, Simon added with a short look to Clary.
‘’You have to tell her.’’,Jace said seriously.
‘’You need to apologize and then tell her how you feel. This has been going on for years and you’re lucky enough to really…love someone. Don’t let it go to waste.’’
Jace’s voice was quite but the serious look on his face told Alec that he meant it.
It wasn’t like Alec didn’t know.
But he just couldn't. What if he lost her with his confession? He’d rather have her as a friend than have her not at all.
‘’I have things to do.’’
Isabelle watched her brother go, asking herself how her intelligent brother could be so dumb when it came to feelings.
Jace bit his lips, slowly grinning.
‘’I might have an idea.’’
You haven’t been feeling too well since last week. Your body still had to heal and the fact that you weren’t on speaking terms with Alec was a burden. When he had yelled accusing you of not taking your job seriously and not being thankful for the opportunity you had been provided with really had hurt you deeply. You had grown up without parents, the Lightwood family had always been something like a home to you. Being reminded of how you didn’t belong anywhere by Alec left a bitter aftertaste. You haven’t felt so alone in a long time.
You knew you should be probably talking to Alec, sorting out your issues. But the fact that he didn’t come to see you to ask for how you were doing really really hurt. Like he didn’t even care.
Even though all you really wanted was to be hold by him . Hold than more than just his best friend.
You hadn’t left your room in days, laying in bed all ay and snuggling with pillows while watching crappy comedies on TV. When your door opened you didn’t expect Max Lightwood to sneak into your room, hopping on your bed grinning.
‘’Max!’’ You laughed, raising an eyebrow. Max was almost like a brother to you, you loved to visit him every time you were in Idris.
‘’I’ve been told to check your injury, Y/N. And I heard you have chocolate ?’’ His cheeky grin was disarming.
‘’Well, Dr.Max I do, indeed. ‘’
He nodded seriously instructing you to let him take a look at your wound.
You sat up, wearing a short nike shorts, lifting your shirt up a little bit for Max to see the sword wound. It wasn’t too bad anymore, otherwise you would have never shown it to Max.
Said newly doctor nodded stating that it looked okay before asking for a piece of chocolate. You gave it to him before you both snuggled up in the bed watching Spong Bob.
10 minutes later he excused himself because he had something ‘important’ to do.
You turned off the TV before you got up to prepare for a shower.
When Max entered the training room where the gang was gathered he tried to look all throughout and concerning.
‘’What’s up Max?’’,Jace spoke up.
‘’Why you’re looking so down ?’’
Alec wanted to crouch down but froze on the spot when he heard ‘’ I went to check on Y/N.’’
He went to do what?
‘’Oh how’s she doing? I planned on doing a beauty evening with her tomorrow.’’, Izzy said trying to hide her face because she was simply really bad at lying to her brother. Max on the contrary was a professional.
‘’Oh I don’t think that’s a good idea. She doesn’t look too good.’’
Alec frowned focusing on Max.
‘’What do you mean?’’
Mac grinned inwardly congratulating himself for being such a good decoy.
‘’ She’s really pale and I think… her wound might me infected or anything. She’s reaaaaaaaly weak.’’
Alec didn’t notice Jace cracking up in the background.
It only took Alec two seconds to exit the training room and walk up the floor to Y/N’s room. Without knocking he entered, realizing she was missing. Her bed looked used so she had to be there. When he realized that the bathroom door was closed he started to panic.
‘’Y/N? You’re alright?’’
You heard his voice through the door , letting out a small scream because you were so indulged into the music coming through your headphones while you prepared everything for a shower that he startled you.
Suddenly your bathroom lacked a door and Alec’s hands cradled your face.
‘’What happened?’’ His pupils were dilated while he scanned your face.
‘’What happened to you?’’, you replied confused.
‘’Why did you break down my door?’’
Alec thought you were downplaying your injury so he picked you up around the hips and sat you down on the counter.
He didn’t even hesitate to try to lift up your shirt but getting stopped by you.
‘’Alec ! What the hell are you doing?’’
You kept a hold of his hand demanding an explanation.
‘’Show me your wound, love!’’, he growled frustrated with how easily you treated your injury . Again.
‘’Alexander Gideon Lightwood!’’
Using his whole name always worked. He growled at you making you laugh at the absurdity.
‘’Would you be so kind to explain why you’re trying to undress me?’’
A raised eyebrow.
And a flustered Alec.
‘’I’m not…Max said you were doing bad.’’
You frowned shaking your head.
‘’What? He saw the wound himself and ate chocolate with me. Why would he…?’’
Alec was so blind by worry that he didn’t count 1 and 1 together.
‘’Y/N show me the wound!’’
You sighed, rolling your eyes and lifting up your shirt.
‘’Why didn’t you tell me you were doing bad? I would ha-Ow.’’
He squinted, the worry replaced by confusion. It was looking alright.
‘’You don’t care, remember?’’
You simply said making an attempt to hop off the counter but Alec’s arms were holding you firmly into place.
Alec knew Max had played him a trick but right now he had to focus on something way more important. He didn't care ?
‘’What have you said?’’, he said quietly looking hurt.
The bathroom was only lit by candles since you hated to shower in full light.
‘’I said you didn’t care.’’ You crossed your arms as you answerer defiantly , meeting his gaze. How dare he come breaking down your door acting all concerned when he forgot about you?
‘’What, by the angels, makes you think I don’t care how you’re doing?’’
Disbelieve echoed in his voice. His closeness and your hurt feelings were causing to pool tears behind your eyes.
You tried to advert your eyes, tried to get yourself together.
‘’Look at me.’’, Alec said softly watching you shake your head ‘no’.
He crouched down a little to meet your eyes, keeping them captive. Seeing the wetness behind your eyes he realized that he truthfully fucked up.
‘’Don’t you dare think for a minute that I don’t care about you. Do you have any idea how worries I was, and still am?’’
‘’Yeah sure that’s why you came to see me the last days. And why you had to remind me that I have no home.’’
You bit your lip, blinking ,trying not to cry. In the silence that followed you would have been able to hear a needle drop.
Alec had no idea where to start, your whole statement was bullshit.
‘’I’m sorry, Y/N. Okay? I freaked out when I got told that you might not make it. That I might lose you. And when you woke up you acted like it was no big deal, like your life didn’t matter and it got me so furious. I was so fucking scared of losing you , I knew you were reckless, but you played with your life. Do you have any idea what you would do to me if you died?’’, he swallowed.
‘’I was blinded by my anger and my fear and I said things I don’t mean. Afterwards I felt so guilty and you clearly showed you that you didn’t want to see me.’’
He softly rubbed over your wet cheeks.
‘’I know I hurt you and I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I just…’’, he sighed deeply, holding his breath.
‘’I love you, Y/N. I have for a really long time and the thought of you not caring about yourself even thought you are the world to me kills me. And you have a home. You always had and you always will. Here. With us. With my family. With me. You’re my home Y/N.’’
You lifted your eyes up to his, facing him disbelieving.
Did she say he loved you?
‘’Say it again.’’, you breathed not quite believing what you’ve heard. You surely must have misheard him.
‘’I’m your home.’’, he repeated.
‘’No not that, that before.’’
Alec furrowed his brows, looking at you intensely.
‘’I love you Y/N. I’m not good at this. Feeling what I’m feeling, relationships , falling in love with my best friend. Killing demons is so much easier than risking our friendship by confessing this.’’
You couldn’t help but to sniffle, making Alec laugh
‘’I know that you’re not feeling the same and it’s okay I ju-‘’
You interrupted him by diving forwards and pressing your lips against his.
More doing, less talking.
The moment your lips met you felt everything click into place. This is what you were born to do. Loving him. You belonged right here.
Alec buried his hands in your hair , shortly taken by surprise but quickly realizing that he was kissing you.
He deepened the kiss, pulling away to let you breathe.
‘’I love you.’’,you said honestly with a small smile.
‘’For so long. But I was always just your best friend.’’
Alec smiled that smile that mad his blue eyes light up and left you breathless.
‘’You’re still my best friend. I just get to kiss you now.’’
Said and done.
It was half past 11 when Jace tried to catch a look through the little opened gap of your door. When he realized the two people in the room were asleep he dated to open it a little further.
Izzy smiled when she saw you snuggled up in Alec’s arms, his face buried in your hair.
‘’Max deserves a medal.’’