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Psychology 101

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Spike jumped. It was almost three in the morning, and he had just come in from a night of peace, away from the hectic life that was currently surrounding him. Willow, Tara, Buffy, and Cordelia were in the middle of madly preparing for finals, and due to the madness that filled the Summer's house, he'd left earlier that night, trying to escape what seemed to be perpetual PMS. Dawn had gone to stay with Xander and Anya for the weekend, and chaos was definitely the word of the hour.

He walked cautiously down the hallway to what had become Willow's study after Joyce had died. "Red? Are you...uh, SHIT!" The blond vampire ducked as a book came hurtling towards his head.

Willow turned around from her computer. "Spike! What the hell are you doing here?"

"I live here. Just like you. Remember?" he said slowly, wondering just how many mochas she'd consumed in her pursuit of the almighty A.

"Argh! Don't be a smartass right now, Spike. I can't handle it." Willow said, frustrated to no end.

Spike shook his head, picking up the book she'd pitched at him. Moving into the room and pulling up a chair next to the computer, he replied, "Red, I'll always be a smartass. But why are you throwing books around the room? Studies not going well?"

The redhead looked at him incredulously. "Not going well? NOT GOING WELL? That has GOT to be the understatement of the decade. And considering we live on a hellmouth, that's saying something."

Spike smiled slightly, then examined the book in his hand. "Psych? Pet, I thought you were majoring in Computer Science. I didn't think this was a requirement."

Willow groaned and dropped her head into her hands. "It's not."

"What? You're mumbling again, sweets."

"Bite me. It's not. I took it as an elective. And now it's too late to drop the course. And have I mentioned yet how much I HATE THIS CLASS?"

The vampire winced. "Yes. Multiple times. So, what's the problem?"

Willow swiveled in her chair and stood up, beginning to pace the room. "It's three am, and I have to do a case study on someone and then analyze how their environment shaped their personality. It's not like I can use Buffy. Yeah, I did mine on a Vampire Slayer who has lived over a hellmouth her entire life. That would definitely go over well with Professor Lieberman. And Tara can't, cause she's not nearly done with her research for her final in Women's Studies, and well...Dawn's not here, and I refuse to do a case study on Xander, and" The witch took a deep breath and shook her head. "So I'm screwed."

Spike closed his eyes for a moment, the image of Willow being screwed (preferably by him) momentarily clouding his mind. When he opened them again, the perfect solution had come to him.

"Use me." As your plaything, he thought, a wry grin gracing his features.

"What?" Willow turned to face him.

"Do a case study on me. I mean, come on, luv. I was raised as a vampire by Angelus, and didn't we just have the most dysfunctional relationship in the world. Add in Drusilla, and your professor would have a field day with all that you could analyze there. Just change the dates, and don't mention that pesky vampire issue, and you've got the perfect A." Spike leaned back in his chair, inordinately pleased with his idea. Unfortunately, Willow was still looking at him as though he was a alien.

"You have got to be kidding me."

"Nope. Dead serious. Or rather, undead serious."

"No way this is going to work."

"Do you have a better idea?"

"Shut up and start talking about your childhood with Angelus. Or should I call him Daddy?" Willow said sarcastically, sitting back down at the computer and flexing her hands over the keyboard.


"No, WITCH. And also, on occasion, bitch. Start talking, this was your big idea."

"Alright, geez, untwist your knickers already. It all started when I tried to pick Angelus' pocket, and cop a bit of a feel as well, he's a big fella you know..."

"Do not think for one second whatsoever that you had any effect on my underwear." Willow muttered, already typing.

Spike smirked. "What was that, luv?"

"Shut up and spill, Spike."