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Romancing Derek

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Google is not being its usual helpful self. When Stiles types ‘romantic meals’ into the search box, he gets shown a possible search that adds ‘for your boyfriend’ onto his search terms. So, obviously, since he’s wanting to make a meal for Derek, who is his boyfriend, it seems like that search should provide stellar results. Instead, he gets a bunch of links that automatically assume he’s a woman, which way to be judgmental there Google, and then those links are a bunch of sexist nonsense because they’re aimed at women and, for some unknown reason, the authors think women are brainless twits. He isn’t sure how his female friends haven’t just gone postal and slaughtered most of the world when they have to deal with this kind of shit so often.

Seriously, though, it’s making him angry reading this drivel. It’s not even presented like women just want to do something nice for the man they love. No, the articles turn it into this sneaky ‘manipulate your man via food’ bullshit that would piss him off if he were a woman. Besides that condescending tone he’s getting from the words, he also isn’t impressed with the recipes. It’s a bunch of aphrodisiac type stuff like oysters and chocolate. He obviously chose the wrong search terms.

“What are you Googling?” Jordan rolls his chair so he can peer over Stiles’ shoulder. “Guy approved romantic meals. Huh.”

“Don’t start.” Stiles rolls his eyes. “I was trying to find something nice to cook for dinner tonight, so I thought Google would be my friend. Instead, it’s irritating me.”

“Something romantic to cook,” Jordan clarifies, lips twitching slightly. “You don’t think Derek would enjoy oysters?”

“He doesn’t. It’s a texture thing. He also doesn’t like calamari. Most other seafood, though, is on his approval list.” Stiles looks over to see Jordan grinning at him. “Hey, don’t even start. Who was it that drove all the way to Eureka to buy a maple bacon donut from some place Laura heard about on the Food Network?”

“I wasn’t starting anything. We’re both whipped by Hales.” Jordan shrugs. “It was a damn good donut, though.”

“I wouldn’t know since you didn’t bring any back for your favorite temporary partner,” Stiles mutters. “And you might be whipped, but I’m totally not.”

“Lie.” Jordan smirks. “Anyway, why are you cooking tonight? I thought Derek loved cooking, so you just usually help him cook or let him do it all.”

“He does, and I usually help unless I’m working late or have pack stuff after work.” Stiles smiles. “Tonight’s date night, though, and it’s my turn to choose. So I decided to make a romantic meal, do the whole nine yards of sappy love stuff with candlelight and wine, and then I’m thinking we’ll stream trashy reality television I’ve got him hooked on before we get to the fun bit.” He waggles his eyebrows. “After the TV watching, I have sexy stuff planned because he’s just as much a dork as I am, so I know he’ll like me making it special since we haven’t done it yet. You know, butt stuff, with my butt, so I won’t go into detail.”

“Please don’t.” Jordan snorts. “Details are definitely something better left not shared.” He arches a brow and studies Stiles’ face for a moment. “Actually, I’ve noticed you don’t really talk details about you and Derek anyway. It’s been a refreshing change from the graphic descriptions you normally discuss with Malia and Kira during pack gatherings when you’ve had your casual encounters.”

“Yeah, well, I try not to talk too graphically around you usually because I know you aren’t into the sex stuff,” Stiles says. “As for me actually learning how to keep things private, it’s probably because my relationship with Derek isn’t casual. At all.”

“He’s good for you,” Jordan tells him. He squeezes Stiles’ shoulder before he rolls his chair back to his desk. “I’d suggest making him steak. It’s something you probably don’t have often, and it’s romantic dinner fancy.”

“Ooooh. Who is having a romantic dinner?” Tara walks over and leans against Allison’s desk. “Stiles, are you finally treating your fine ass man the way he deserves?”

“I treat my man well. He has no complaints.” Stiles smiles smugly. “But I am making him dinner tonight as a surprise for our weekly date night. It was his choice last week, and we went out, so my choice is staying in.”

“I swear I see heart eyes every time you talk about him. It’s disgusting and stupidly adorable all at the same time,” Tara says with a grin. “But I can’t blame you. If I weren’t already married, I’d have to give you some competition for that boy.”

“There are no heart eyes. Stop that slanderous talk.” Stiles sticks his tongue out at her. “Anyway, you wouldn’t be competition. There’s only one Stiles.”

“Thank God for that.” Stiles’ dad has just left his office and caught the end of the conversation. “What are we discussing? Is it work related or do I need to remind everyone that you’re all clocked in and supposed to at least be pretending to work?”

“We’re talking about your son’s heart eyes for Derek.” Tara laughs. “He’s actually attempting to deny that he doesn’t go all besotted moony whenever Derek’s around or whenever anyone even says the name Derek.”

“Son, I’ve taught you to be honest,” Dad says. “Don’t be lying to Tara about not being head over heels for your young man.”

“I never said I wasn’t head over heels,” Stiles points out. “I just said that there are not any heart eyes. I still plead not guilty to the charge.”

“What are you doing tonight, Stiles?” Tara asks innocently.

“I’m making Derek a romantic dinner for our date night,” Stiles says cautiously, trying to figure out where she’s headed with this.

“A romantic dinner, huh?” Dad arches a brow. “Date night?”

“Yes, date night. I’m sure you’re aware of the concept or else you’d better learn because Natalie totally deserves date nights.” Stiles grins. “Derek and I try to do a date night every week, even if sometimes it’s just hanging with the pa---friends,” he explains to his dad, catching himself before he said pack in front of Tara. “Last week, we went to this art museum that was doing a photography exhibit that I really loved, and we had a picnic because the weather was nice, albeit somewhat cold. It was really great, though. So I want to do something for him this week that’s romantic and sappy as fuck.”

Dad looks at Tara, who is just smiling. “He’s guilty,” Dad tells her, shaking his head. “Stiles, you’d better not screw up this relationship because Derek’s sugar free chocolate chip cookies are something I cannot lose from my life. I know you’re my son, and I love you dearly, but you took my Oreos, you took my chocolate cake, you are not going to take my delicious, and actually edible, sugar free chocolate chip cookies.”

“I see how it is. You’d choose cookies over your own son.” Stiles huffs a laugh. “You’re damn lucky that I have no intention of screwing things up with Derek, but I think I’m going to have to have a talk with him about indulging you too much with cookies.”

“Well, if you do, I’m afraid that you might just have to fill the need the department has over in traffic safety,” Dad says with a big old smile that makes Stiles roll his eyes.

“I have witnesses that you just used your position to threaten me in exchange for baked goods.” Stiles looks at Tara, who suddenly finds something to do and just waves her fingers as she hurries away. Stiles smirks. “Well, that got rid of her quickly.”

“What exactly are you making Derek for this romantic dinner tonight?” Dad asks, coming over to lean against Stiles’ desk.

“I don’t know. Jordan suggested steaks, but it’s rainy and cold today. I can’t grill them, and they turn into rubber when I try cooking them on the stove for some reason.” Stiles shrugs. “I might do some kind of chicken thing, but I’m also leaning towards fish because Derek really likes tilapia and fresh salmon. Maybe I’ll just go to the store when I get off work and see what they’ve got.”

“Fish isn’t steak, but it’s not a bad choice.” Dad smiles. “Anything can be romantic, though. Your mom and I, when we first got married, we were always broke, so we’d have Ramen and Mac & Cheese a lot. Sometimes, we’d do homemade pizzas, and we’d pick off toppings to feed each other. It was pretty damn sexy. I think those meals were more romantic than any of the anniversary dates at fancy restaurants we had later in our marriage.”

“Maybe I’ll do pizzas then,” Stiles murmurs, appreciating the memory his dad shared enough to ignore the slight ugh at his dad talking about sexy times with his mom. “We have a bit of a food kink anyway.”

“TMI, son.” Dad shakes his head before he ruffles Stiles’ hair. “Whatever you make will be romantic because Derek loves you. Now stop planning your date and actually get some work done, alright?”

“I’ve been working!” Stiles grins as he turns his phone off. “Thanks, Dad.”

“Anytime, Stiles.” He leans down to press a quick kiss against the top of Stiles’ head. “I need the report on the burglary at the jewelry store when you get it finished.”

“Already done.” Stiles sorts through the files on his desk and hands it over. “I think the weekend opener is involved. She’s got a clear record, but her girlfriend has priors for theft and shoplifting. Might be worth looking at more closely, if you want to make the suggestion to Morris. You know he gets irritated if I tell him my gut’s telling me to look a certain direction.”

“I’ll look it over, but I’ve learned that your gut’s usually right.” Dad starts looking at the file as he heads back to his office.

Homemade pizzas can be romantic, right? Stiles thinks so, at least, and he likes the idea of sharing something with Derek that his parents had shared when they were young and newlyweds. With that decision made, he focuses on getting some more work done. There’s a never ending stack of reports to type it, seems, and he and Jordan get called out on a few minor calls that help the hours pass faster. Nothing major, at least, but there’s a domestic to deal with, which he never enjoys, and a public disturbance up in Beacon Heights.

During their lunch break, which is several tacos from a new food truck that’s been operating on Main the last few months, he does some research on his phone. Not only is he planning the romantic date night tonight, but he’s also working on Derek’s birthday surprise for next month. Since talking about it with Scott and Allison a couple of weeks ago, his plans have morphed and become even better. He’s excited about the surprise party, but he’s also slightly nervous about pulling it all off without Derek finding out. Thanksgiving is next week, though, and then it’ll be Christmas before they even know it, so he doesn’t have too long to be anxious.

Fortunately, Lydia has taken over a lot of the more detailed bits of planning, with Allison helping as a way to distract herself from the forced bedrest situation. Besides them, Scott and Jackson are the only other people in the know about Stiles’ plans. Jackson’s been surprisingly supportive considering it’s a surprise for Derek, but Stiles knew he’d eventually come around when he realized how happy Derek makes him. Well, and when he realized that Stiles was still going to be around and able to fulfill the brother role he’s acquired over the years. Between the five of them, everyone’s got things to do, and it really is nice planning something with his best friends that he thinks will make Derek really happy.

He still has to talk to Cora about the rings, because he definitely has plans for those, but he doesn’t plan to tell her that much about the surprise party because he isn’t sure he can trust her not to blab. Derek knows about rings, so that isn’t too major if he finds out Stiles has requested that she go ahead and design them. The surprise party, however, is something he wants to keep as quiet as possible until closer to Christmas. The Hales are already planning to come to Beacon Hills to celebrate the holidays, at least, so he doesn’t have to worry about the whole holiday celebration thing being ruined because he wants to do something special for Derek’s birthday.

Work finally ends at half past three. Stiles doesn’t bother changing out of his uniform because he knows Derek’s going to be busy with the contractor until six, and that gives him a little over two hours to go to the grocery store, get home, set up the romantic scene for date night, shower, and change. Stiles texts Erica when he gets to his car, asking if she’d be the best Catwoman ever and arrange to delay Derek until like seven. When she sends him several question marks, he just tells her Romantic Date Night, and gets several pervy emoticons in response. She agrees, though, so that helps him relax because it gives him an extra hour.

The store isn’t that crowded since it is early afternoon. Stiles walks in and grabs a cart, starting at one end and checking the ingredients list on his phone as he tosses stuff into the cart. When he sees the sauce recipe, he bites his lip because he knows there isn’t enough time to actually make homemade sauce. Oh! He suddenly smiles because he remembers that Derek put some of his family recipe marinara sauce in the freezer last week because he made extra. He can use that for the pizzas. Making the dough sounds easy enough, hopefully, and Stiles is going to try because he doesn’t think pre-made dough would taste as good as homemade.

Mozzarella takes a little longer to choose because he knows Derek won’t want any processes stuff, and that means paying a little more for the better cheese. Stiles has to check ingredients on the pepperoni, too, since Derek’s a big ingredient checker. He also buys baby tomatoes, fresh herbs, Canadian bacon, onions, green peppers, and olives. He thinks he’ll make two pizzas. One with meat that isn’t as healthy probably, and one with the veggies. He knows Derek enjoys pepperoni and Canadian bacon since that’s what they usually get when they order delivery. Well, Stiles used to do a meat lovers but now he does a couple of meat along with veggies. It’s still pretty damn good, so it makes for an easy compromise.

While at the store, Stiles picks out a nice bottle of wine. Not the cheap stuff, but it’s obviously not overly fancy, either, since he bought it at the grocery store. Still, it should go well with pizza, according to Google. He also buys some candles because the ones he’s got at home are more for use if the electric goes out not good smelling things for romantic dinners with the man he loves. Flowers are a definite, too. He chooses carnations and adds one very pretty lily because he knows they’re some of Derek’s favorites. Red roses are probably more appropriate for the romantic dinner cliché, but he prefers buying flowers Derek will actually enjoy.

There isn’t time to bake anything for dessert, so he goes to the bakery and checks out their selection. None of it will be as good as anything he or Derek could make, they’re both awesome bakers thank you very much, but it’s easy and already made. It’s just going to have to be good enough for tonight. He ends up choosing a cheesecake assortment that he’s had before and knows is pretty damn delicious. Pizza and cheesecake is romantic, right? He hopes so. There’s only one checker working, of course, so he ends up in line behind a frazzled mother with three kids and a ton of coupons, and a talkative older man who keeps telling him about some kids egging his neighbor’s house since Stiles is still wearing his uniform.

Finally, he gets checked out and is back in his Jeep heading home. When he gets there, he takes off his uniform shirt, leaving on the undershirt, and starts following the recipe to make the pizza dough. He can shower and change easy enough once the dough is finished. He’s halfway through it when he remembers the frozen sauce, so he stops and grabs that, putting it out so it can start thawing. He’ll nuke it in the microwave if it isn’t thawed out by the time he needs to get the pizzas in the oven. The dough takes longer than he expects to get ready, and he has to let it sit for at least twenty minutes, so it’s a good time to run upstairs and get cleaned up.

While he’s in the shower, Stiles takes the extra time to clean himself really good in a couple of key areas. He wants Derek to fuck him tonight, knows he’s more than ready for it, and he needs to make sure he’s squeaky clean so the only gross sex stuff is regular fluids they’re both used to already. Derek has fingered him a few times, even did that night at the masquerade, but his dick is a lot bigger than his fingers, so Stiles takes the time in the shower to loosen himself up a little. If he ends up jerking off with his fingers in his ass, well, he’s totally blaming Derek because it’s all too easy to get hard thinking about fucking him.

After his shower, he puts on a suit. Derek’s got his own suit kink, it turns out, when it’s Stiles in the suit, and he’s totally taking advantage of that tonight. He doesn’t bother with the coat, rolling the sleeves of the white shirt up past his elbows, and then checking to make sure his ass looks good enough to tempt Derek into touching. He might be biased, but he thinks it looks pretty damn good. The black fabric is pulled tight across his cheeks, which makes it look like he’s got a perfectly fuckable bubble butt. “I’d tap that ass,” he murmurs, shaking it a little before laughing.

When he gets back downstairs, he checks the clock, and he sees that it’s already after six. He took longer than he planned in the shower. The bowl of sauce has to get nuked, because it’s still frozen like a marinara Popsicle, but the dough is good. He starts rolling it out onto one of the pizza pans. Fortunately, he’s got four of those because they’ll make frozen pizzas for pack nights sometimes, and he chooses the two medium size ones for their pizzas tonight. By the time he’s got the dough rolled out, the sauce is defrosted. He spreads it liberally on the dough because both he and Derek like sauce. Cheese is next followed by various ingredients in no discernible pattern.

Stiles checks the clock and decides it’s too early to put the pizzas in the oven, so he focuses on making a nice little salad to go with the pizza. Derek’s got him used to eating salad or fruit at dinner regardless of what they eat as their main course now. At fifteen till seven, he slides the pizza pans into the oven, turns on the timer, and puts the bowl of salad onto the table. He also puts the candles out but doesn’t light them yet. After a quick check, he thinks everything is properly romantic meal-ish, so he relaxes a little.

Closer to seven, he starts his Seducing Derek playlist that he put together during downtime at work yesterday. There’s a lot of old time crooners and shit that Derek really likes, mixed in with some blatantly sexy or dirty songs from the more recent eras. Stiles figures they can start with seductive flirting a la Marvin Gaye then move to let’s have sex now a la Nine Inch Nails as the playlist progresses. At least, he’s hoping there’s sex happening by the time the playlist reaches Closer and I Want Your Sex. He’s actually figuring by the time Promiscuous and Pony start playing that there’s going to be some nudity happening.

Derek comes home three songs into the playlist. Stiles is dancing to Rod Stewart singing about do you think I’m sexy, and he turns to find Derek leaning against the entryway watching him with an affectionate smile on his lips. “I do,” Derek tells him, pushing himself off the wall and stalking (it’s totally stalking!) towards Stiles. “Think you’re sexy, that is. What smells so good?”

“Dinner.” Stiles leans up to press his lips against Derek’s. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Derek kisses him a little less chastely, his hand drifting down Stiles’ back to grip his ass. The pants are a definite win. “I should go clean up. I was helping out at the site today, so I’m a bit dirty.”

“I like you dirty,” Stiles murmurs, licking at Derek’s lips. “But, yes, go shower. It’s my turn for choosing activities for date night, and I’ve got dinner in the oven. We’re having a romantic evening at home.”

“Romantic dinner, huh?” Derek smiles. “I’ll be back in ten minutes.”

“I’ll time you! For every minute you’re late, it’ll be a one kiss penalty,” Stiles calls after him.

“Stiles, that’s a reason for me to be late.” Derek laughs as he goes upstairs.

Stiles waits for the timer to go off then takes the pizzas out of the oven. They look pretty good, so he’s rather proud of himself. He can cook, of course, but he’s never done pizzas from scratch from before. He cuts them into several pizzas and checks the crust, glad that it’s nice and crispy the way they like it. By the time he’s got the pizzas on the table and the wine opened, Derek’s walking back into the room. His hair is damp, and he’s wearing black pants and a white shirt, too. The shirt sleeves are rolled up past his elbows, and he looks so hot that it makes Stiles forget what he’s doing.

“I take it you approve?” Derek smirks as he looks at the table. “Candlelight even? You’re really serious about this being romantic.”

“Definitely approve, and also very serious.” Stiles holds Derek’s chair out for him with a cheeky grin. “If you’ll be seated, sir.”

“Thank you.” Derek sits down, then Stiles remembers the flowers.

“Wait just a second.” He rushes into the kitchen and grabs the vase where’s put the flowers so they don’t die. Going back into the dining room, he hands the vase to Derek. “For you.”

“You bought me flowers? You totally didn’t have to bring my flowers, you know?” Derek winks as he takes the vase.

“I should take them back if you’re going to be a smartass and toss my own words back at me,” Stiles grumbles, flashing back to their first date. Had it really just been two months ago? He slowly smiles. “It’s our date night. Of course I’m going to bring you flowers.”

“Brat.” Derek smells the flowers before setting the vase on the table. “Thank you for the flowers. They’re really lovely.”

“You’re welcome. They aren’t as beautiful as you are, of course.” Stiles means it to be flirty, but it comes out more serious. Derek’s ears redden and he ducks his head in that shy way that makes Stiles love him a little more, as if that’s even possible. “I made pizza.”

“I see that.” Derek smiles. “You even did a veggie one for us. And I hear Marvin Gaye playing, which is a nice choice if you’re trying to get into my pants.”

“Plus a salad. I’m being all healthy and shit.” Stiles preens. “I tried Googling romantic meals, but the articles were just pissing me off, and my dad told me how he and my mom used to have homemade pizza when they first married. So I thought that might be a good choice. Well, he also mentioned Ramen and Mac & Cheese, but I thought pizza was maybe a little more romantic. And I’m trying to get you out of your pants, so we’ll see if I’m successful.”

“I’d say the odds are good. As for food, I don’t think there’s a certain type that is really romantic or a kind that isn’t,” Derek says thoughtfully. “You stuffing yourself with grilled cheese and ice cream definitely isn’t something most people would consider romantic. I, however, found it charming because I’m influenced by my feelings for you and just enjoyed seeing you happy instead of being grossed out by how much food you ate that afternoon. While Ramen might be an unusual choice for date night, we could still have a romantic evening even if that’s what we’re eating.”

“You’d spend the whole meal talking about the sodium content and the fake taste of the noodles.” Stiles laughs as he picks up two slices of each type of pizza and puts them on Derek’s plate. He then gets himself four slices, getting the dangling cheese from one slice and eating it.

“I wasn’t voting for Ramen next time you feel like surprising me with dinner.” Derek takes a bite of the pizza and makes an appreciative noise. “This is homemade crust, isn’t it?”

“As if I’d feed my boo already made crust?” Stiles scoffs. “I did use the sauce you froze last week because I had to work and didn’t have time to make any myself.”

“You’re the reason Erica suddenly needed my advice about her relationship with Boyd, aren’t you?” Derek wags a finger at him. “She deliberately tried to traumatize me, you realize? You could have just told me to come home later without forcing me to listen to her describe her problem, which I realize now is likely fictitious.”

“Traumatizing, huh?” Stiles grins. “Something sexual then, knowing Erica.”

“She wanted her alpha’s advice on how to bring up the idea of introducing sex toys into their relationship,” Derek tells him, making a face. “She then went into graphic detail regarding every single toy the sex shop must sell to get my opinion on whether or not Boyd would be into them based on what I like.”

“I think I want to hear that list.” Stiles tries not to laugh imagining it, but he can’t hold it back. Derek just gives him a dirty look when he giggles. “I didn’t tell her to do that, for the record. I just asked if she could distract you long enough for you to get home around seven.”

“It’s alright.” Derek gets a mischievous look on his face before he takes another bite of his pizza. “I’ll make sure to have a nice chat with my cousin about how curious you are regarding her and Kira’s sex lives. She’ll fill you in because Malia doesn’t seem to understand the concept of personal versus public knowledge.”

“I probably already know all the details,” Stiles points out. “They both have that candid thing around me. I’ve learned more about having good lesbian sex during menstrual cycles than I ever wanted to know because that want? Was zero. And now I know all about it.”

“I forget that your pack is practically incestuous and has very few boundaries when it comes to discretion,” Derek mutters, actually pouting. “It’s not really that fair considering it gives me nothing to hold over your head as a good threat.”

“Sorry not sorry.” Stiles grins. “Anyway, we do have boundaries. Like I don’t talk about what we do in the bedroom in detail to the pack.” He finishes one of the slices and picks up the veggie kind to try. “Well, Allison is pregnant and horny, so I might have given her some vague descriptions of my dirty role play fantasies, but we haven’t actually done any of those, so that doesn’t count.”

“There are only two, and the cop thing isn’t happening.” Derek is on his third slice, waving it around as he talks. Suddenly, his eyes narrow and he looks at Stiles suspiciously. “There are only two, right?”

Stiles stuffs his pizza in his mouth and makes a big show of not talking with his mouth full. When he swallows, Derek is still staring at him. “Fine. There might be more that I came up with when she and I were doing boring stakeouts and traffic patrol. I plan to tell you about them one day, but I’m pretty focused on the whole Mr. Hale and naughty student Stiles thing happening first. And you know you’ll eventually give in and act out Cop and Hot Perp, so I don’t get why you pretend you’re not into it.”

“Just because I like the view of you in that uniform doesn’t mean I’ll eventually give in.” Derek huffs and takes a vicious bite of his pizza. “Maybe for your fortieth birthday. How about that?”

“That’s fifteen years, Derek.” Stiles snorts. “By then, I hope to have a sheriff’s badge, and I can acquire an extra deputy uniform for you so we can play sheriff and ass kissing new deputy.”

“You’re impossible.” Derek shakes his head, laughing softly as he just looks at Stiles. “Anyway, how was your day?”

“Eh, kind of boring. I like Jordan, but he’s not as much fun as Aly.” Stiles shrugs. “I had to type up several reports, we had a few calls to run, and we got lunch at the Cantina food truck downtown. It’s pretty good, you know?”

“Yes, it is. Isaac and I grabbed lunch from there the other day,” Derek says. “They had a great guacamole.”

“How’s Isaac settling in at the new job?” Stiles eats some of the salad so his pizza can settle before he eats another slice.

“He likes it so far. His partner mentioned knowing you, so he felt more comfortable after that.” Derek takes a sip of his wine. “Her name’s Caitlin? Has a girlfriend named Emily that works at the elementary school with Kira, so Isaac’s realizing just how small Beacon Hills really is despite being a decent size.”

“Oh, yeah. Caitlin. She used to be into the club scene before she became a paramedic.” Stiles grins. “She and I made out once, nothing below the neck, and we’ve been friendly ever since. She’s a damn good paramedic, so Isaac’s got a solid partner who’ll watch his back.”

“So long as she doesn’t have to go on the rather long list of people who have seen your cock, it’s all good.” Derek arches a brow. “Is there anyone Boyd needs to be aware of?”

“Um.” Stiles thinks about the members of the BHFD and bites his lip. “Nope, I can’t remember making out with any firemen. I totally wouldn’t be able to resist making a hose joke if I had.”

“I know Erica’s safe from running into any of your one night stands since she’s telecommuting,” Derek says. “Don’t get me wrong. Whatever you did in the past is just that: past. I have no room to judge, after all.” He smiles slyly. “I just figured I’d like to know if the kids are going to run into any of their mom’s previous romantic partners at their jobs.”

“You’re such an ass.” Stiles punches his arm and laughs. “You set that whole thing up for a Mom joke? Seriously?”

“What can I say? You’re a bad influence.” Derek refills their wine glasses. “What else is on the agenda for our romantic evening at home?”

“Well, after we finish eating, I thought we’d stream more of America’s Next Top Model. We’re only on episode four of season 3, and this is one of the seasons I enjoy a lot for sheer drama and bitchery. We could totally skip season 4 because the winner’s not the strongest girl, but we should still watch it for Janice.” Stiles looks at the table. “You about done?”

“Yeah. I’ll help you clean up then we can stream catty women fighting for a title.” Derek leans over to kiss him slowly, tasting of wine and his own unique flavor. Stiles considers jumping straight to the sexy times, but he wants to snuggle with his boyfriend watching bad reality television first.

They clean up the table, and Stiles rinses the dishes before putting everything in the dish washer. Stiles turns off the music, which is just starting to reach the naughty but still nice group of songs. When everything is done, Derek takes the candles and Stiles gets the wine and their glasses before they head upstairs. They climb onto the bed and get comfortable before Stiles brings up Amazon Prime. “Are we ready for more Yaya, Ann, Eva, and those crazy catty girls?”

“Toccara is my queen. The rest are ridiculous.” Derek tugs Stiles against his chest, and he starts the show. They let the show stream, laughing and making fun when needed, but also admiring the few genuine seeming parts. At the end of episode eight, Derek is muttering and scowling at the laptop screen, which is Stiles’ cue to move on to sexy times.

“Sorry your fave got sent home, babe.” Stiles turns off the laptop and puts it on the floor by the bed. “However, get over it because the next phase of our date is now upon us.”

“It’s just frustrating. She’s so much better than those still there. The whole thing’s rigged.” Derek looks at him and slowly smiles. “Next phase, huh?”

“Yep.” Stiles draws out the p. “Sexy times.”

“You mean we could have stopped watching that hours ago and had sexy times?” Derek pulls Stiles onto his lap and leans up to kiss him. “We need to discuss your priorities, babe.”

“Do we?” Stiles nips at Derek’s lips, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth. “Snuggling with my boyfriend and trash talking reality shows is pretty fun, though.”

“Yes, it is,” Derek agrees. “But I’ll always choose naked snuggling over the other kind.”

“If we’d been naked, I’d never have lasted this long without ravishing you.” Stiles kisses him thoroughly, dragging his fingers through Derek’s hair and slowly rolling his hips to get Derek excited. “If I keep doing this, do you think you’d come in your underwear?”

“Stupid question.” Derek rolls his eyes before he moves suddenly, pinning Stiles to the bed. He grinds down against Stiles’ dick, getting just the right angle to make Stiles buck his hips up. “If I keep doing this, do you think you’d come in your underwear?”

“I totally didn’t say that in such an obnoxious voice.” Stiles pulls Derek’s head down so he can kiss him. As they kiss, he begins fumbling with the buttons of Derek’s shirt, finally getting them all unfastened so he can push the material off Derek’s broad shoulders. He pulls back and blinks when Derek just rips his shirt open, the buttons flying off all over the bed and floor. “You owe me a new shirt. A nice one.”

“Worth it.” Derek kisses his way down Stiles’ neck, biting at their mating mark before moving his mouth lower. Stiles gasps when he drags his tongue over his nipple, gripping his hair. “I’m going to suck you, Stiles. Then I’m going to ride you.”

“Yeah,” Stiles breathes out before he realizes that’s not what he wants tonight. “No, wait. I want you to fuck me, Der. I’m more than ready to have that gorgeous dick in my ass.”

Derek looks up at him in surprise. “Are you sure?”

“No, I just planned this romantic at home date and fingered my ass in the shower on a whim,” he deadpans.

“You...shower…you planned this?” Derek raises up so he’s kneeling between Stiles’ spread legs.

“Yep. I want you inside me, like yesterday, so can we just enjoy the surprise! You get my ass tonight! And move on to said ass getting?” Stiles waggles his eyebrows. “You’ll need to prep me, the shower thing was just to let myself get used to be full like that again, and I know I’ll be pretty tight without prep.”

“I should never have told you I like surprises,” Derek murmurs, leaning in to kiss him very, very thoroughly, until Stiles is breathless and his toes are definitely curled. When he pulls back, he smirks, totally knowing how turned on Stiles is at the moment. “Let’s get naked.”

Stiles nods. “Good idea. Help me.” He unfastens his pants and raises his hips, letting Derek pull them and his underwear off. Derek accidentally kneels on his leg when he’s trying to strip, and Stiles elbows his gut, but they manage to get naked. “How do you want me? I’m all yours, Derek.”

“Yes, you are.” Derek just looks at him for a moment, smiling softly. “What’s best for you, position wise?”

“I’m versatile. If you wanted to suck my dick while fingering my ass, that’d be great. I could also kneel for you if you’re wanting my ass for dessert since I forgot I had cheesecake in the fridge.” Stiles shrugs. “Just tell me where you want me. This is your night, and I’m spoiling you, so you get to choose.”

“You on your back then,” Derek decides. “I like to see your face. I’ll get you ready while you, uh, talk to me?”

Stiles grins. “I can do that. Maybe I’ll tell you about one of those other fantasies.” He gets comfortable and watches Derek get the bottle of lube before settling between his legs. “I had this one idea, totally cliché but, hell, they’re cliché for a reason, right? Anyway, I’d be a pirate, and you’d be the virginal son of some wealthy dude that I pillage when we take over your ship.”

“You want to pillage me?” Derek arches a brow. “I’m not seeing the sexy part of this yet.”

“Just suck my dick and listen,” Stiles says, sucking in a breath when Derek does just that. The finger pressing against his ass isn’t unusual during blow jobs, but the second finger pushed inside is. Derek has thick fingers, long ones, and he’s soon pressing down for more. “Uh, right. Pirates. You’re an insolent thing, despite being a virginal type, and I have to tie you to my bed because the rest of the ship wants that tight ass, so I’m protecting you.”

Derek’s eyebrows do a disbelieving set of motions, but he keeps his fingers in Stiles’ ass and his mouth on Stiles’ dick, so whatever. Let him judge so long as it’s silent and Stiles can ignore it.

“Of course, my sparkling personality wins you over, and you’re soon gagging for my dick after you catch sight of it when I accidentally change in front of you.” Stiles brushes his fingers through Derek’s hair. “I teach you how to blow me, and then I show you what your dick is for when I’m fucking your tight ass and making you beg for more.”

Derek pulls his head up, saliva dripping on his chin. Holy fuck. That’s hot. “That’s not a good fantasy. Three out of ten. Not even making the list.”

“What?” Stiles gapes at him. “It’s the whole virginal gagging for it thing. You seem to like it when it’s Mr. Hale getting to enjoy it, but when it’s Pirate Stiles, suddenly it’s boring?”

“Mr. Hale spanks an insolent cocktease. Pirate Stiles prances around naked and suddenly I’m gagging for it?” Derek snorts as he adds a third finger to Stiles’ hole. “Yawn. You could do better.”

Stiles narrows his eyes even as he’s trying not to moan. “Okay. Buckle up, babe. It’s going to get hot in here,” he says. “Pirate Stiles is sick of the impertinent mouth on his captive, so he decides that he’s going to have to do something about it. He—I mean, I---tie you to my bed, and I use my knife to cut your fancy clothes off. You won’t need them anymore, after all, because you’re going to be my personal sex toy. Knives-yay or nay?”

“Not really into knife play but it’s a fantasy,” Derek murmurs, licking the head of Stiles’ cock as he crooks fingers just right. Stiles bucks up because Hello! that’s his prostate.

“So I get you naked, and I ghost the blade over your nipples, watching them pebble up as I taunt you about wanting it, about gagging for my dick, because I’ve seen you watching me, and I know what you really want.” Stiles bites his lip but can’t contain the moan when Derek sucks his dick all the way into his throat. “By the time I, uh, get to your dick, you’re hard and dripping pre-come, and I tease you until you’re begging around the gag I’ve stuffed into your mouth. But you don’t get my mouth on your dick unless you make me come, so I take the gag out, and I choke you on my thick dick.”

“Do you pull my hair because I refuse at first?” Derek asks, giving Stiles’ a heated look.

“Yeah, I do. I pull your hair, and I wipe my pre-come on your lips like it’s lipstick, making them shiny and wet. And you lick them, tasting me, and then you have to suck me because you want more.” Stiles shifts. “Damn it, Derek. Forget pirates and captives. I need you to fuck me now. Please.”

“God yes.” Derek squirts lube onto his hand and strokes his dick as he moves to his knees. “I’m going to make you come so hard, Stiles. I want to hear you, don’t hold back.”

Stiles moves his legs around Derek’s waist as he leans forward, pressing the head of his dick against Stiles’ hole. “You’re fucking huge,” he groans, trying to relax and push out so Derek can ease inside him. He loves sucking Derek’s dick, likes the length and thinks the girth is ideal, but he hasn’t had it in his ass yet and now it feels too big. It’s just been a long time for him, he knows, and he’ll adjust. Derek goes slow, giving him time, and they kiss as Derek slowly moves in and out until he’s finally completely buried inside his ass.

“Tell me when to move,” Derek murmurs between kisses.

“Alright, I’m good,” Stiles after several minutes of kissing. He wiggles beneath Derek, rolling his hips slightly. Derek starts to move, slow and almost teasing, like he’s holding so much back and wanting Stiles to beg. Fucker. “I’m not going to break just because it’s been a few years. Hard and fast is fine. Slow is good, too.”

“I’m going slowly for myself,” Derek admits, the top of his ears flushing. “You’re so damn tight, Stiles. I don’t want to go off before we even get started.”

“Oh, okay then.” Stiles grins up at him. “Take your time, babe.”

“Brat.” Derek leans down and bites his neck lightly, moving his hips slowly, fucking in and out as Stiles presses down to meet his thrusts. Stiles strokes his back, scratching and rubbing intermittently, making sure not to silence any of his noises when Derek begins to move faster and go deeper, touching spots that honestly haven’t been touched before or, if they have been, Stiles was eighteen and didn’t realize how fucking amazing it feels. Gradually, Derek begins to fuck him so good that Stiles stops even thinking about anything but pleasure and coming.

When Derek rolls them over, Stiles is surprised, but he quickly gets with the program. He starts riding Derek hard, taking what he wants, grinding down and getting the perfect angle for Derek’s dick to rub against his prostate every time he pushes down. Derek wraps his fingers around Stiles’ dick, jerking it as he rides him, and Stiles just moves faster. The sound of skin slapping against skin joins the noises they’re both making, and Stiles can smell sweat and sex thick in the air around them. Derek lets go of his dick and grips his hips tight enough to bruise, holding him still as he fucks up into him hard and fast, hitting every pleasure spot and making Stiles whine low in his throat.

Derek comes first, thrusting up and gasping as his come spills inside Stiles’ ass, dripping out onto his dick as he keeps fucking up into him. Stiles reaches down and jerks his dick. It doesn’t take much before he’s grunting, ropes of come splashing onto Derek’s belly and chest, sticking on the hair and making a mess. Stiles leans down to lick it up before they kiss again, rolling back over so they’re on their sides, Derek’s spent dick still in his ass.

“Since I’m doing the whole romance cliché sappy thing,” Stiles murmurs between kisses, his lips curving into a smile. “Let me go all the way with it. I love you, Der.”

Derek huffs a laugh and rubs their noses together. “I love you, too, you sappy dork.”