Work Header

Go the Fuck to Sleep (Black Dog Remix)

Work Text:

The Bebop hangs gently in orbit,
And its crew has a schedule to keep.
So I'll tell you one story, and we'll all get some rest.
Okay, Ed? Lie the fuck down and sleep.

The Hammerhead's finally clean, child,
And the Swordfish lets out not a peep.
Yes, I managed to fix what you did there.
Quit screwing around and go sleep.

My bonsai are recovering nicely,
And I don't hear them talk. (Sometimes, "meep.")
Fuck no, I don't want any mushrooms.
You know what I want? You to sleep.

Charlie Parker is playing on the ship comms.
"Yardbird Suite." No, this bird doesn't cheep.
Because he just doesn't, okay? Now stuff it!
You wanted your music, now sleep!

Our last frozen peas have gone missing --
Faye smacked Spike and called him a creep.
Christ, I wish those two'd fuck already.
Wait, you didn't hear that. Fuckin' sleep.

The Piyokos are nestled together
Like -- shit, I don't know. Probably sheep.
No, I'm not gonna argue their habits.
Get the fuck off the rafters and sleep.

The Sea Rats of Ganymede all hibernate
Or whatever they do down in the deep.
I don't know and don't care, okay, kid?
Even sea rats get more fuckin' sleep!

You've sowed mass confusion behind you,
Enough to make lesser men weep.
Why the hell'd you tape ham to the corgi?
You know what? I don't care. Fucking sleep.

No, seriously, kid, don't you get it?
There's a bounty to catch. Food ain't cheap.
If we're not on our game, we won't get him.
Fuck yes, that includes you. Now sleep.

You finally snooze in a huddle
As I sit back and let my tea steep.
Ninety minutes till call? Fuck me sideways.
Yeah, looks like I won't get any sleep.


The ship seems so empty without you.
Much tidier, yes, and I keep
The place in good shape. But it's quiet.
You're gonna be fine. I should sleep.

d.c. al fine (improvisation)

I'm circling an asteroid station
When the ship gives an ominous bleep.
Nav and comms have been hacked? What the fuck?
Holy shit, it can't be. Run a sweep.

Holy shit. Yes it can. Ed, how are you?
You missed me a lot? Kid, that's sweet.
Fuckin' A, yes I'll read you a story!
And you know what? You don't have to sleep.